In summation, there are so many things I want to do, that I am doing nothing. I've spent multiple hours today just looking at the wall wondering what I should do.
I'm mostly numb. I'm finding more and more as time goes on that things I've claimed to enjoy have just been lies I've told to maintain a veneer of normalcy.
I realized the other day that I don't actually enjoy food, I've just normally answer with a "yeah sure" when asked if I enjoyed it but that I really couldn't give a shit unless it was actively nauseating.
Overall pretty good.
The worse thing I am currently dealing with is I finally figured out what is the cause of my hair breaking off so badly. That I lost a lot of lenth in my hair and beard, and it will take years to grow what I lost back.
All because I tried out a new hair hair product that smelt nice and rinsed really clean.
Now I have to fuck around with conditioner and oils to baby my hair into durability, then let it grow for the next 4 or so years just to get back to where I was a few months before.
I am very pissed at myself and the company that though such a product is fit for humans.
I'm almost entirely detached from my life. I don't enjoy very many things anymore, mostly when I spontaneously decide to indulge in junk good but even then it's just in the first couple of moments when the dopamine hits and I feel like shit almost immediately after. I also enjoy sleeping a lot more, or perhaps I'm just more tired than I used to be. Before I couldn't stand being in bed for too long, sleep was kind of just a necessity, now I could stay in bed all day drifting in and out of consciousness and be perfectly content. I don't know where this is going, unless I experience some kind of radical chance I will just become a husk biding my time until I don't have to exist anymore.
lots of negative things coming my way while zero of the positive things to counter balance that
im sure i will snap against someone eventually
>>185443>Did you do anything fun recently
I started painting and apparently making some improvements. The happy hormones are however nowhere to be found. Why I am commenting however is because of your picture. I was watching some tutorial about painting stones where I had one of that 3dpds vids in my rec, something about "5 unconcious things you do to make people avoid you". I had some good laughs there! "You might be negative. People dont like negativity so be positiv!" - "You're ignored because you have a low presence. Be confident!". Real funny shit. The best part were the comments "I had anxiety and 0 friends 1 year before but now I have tons of friends!". At this point all I can do is laugh. Is this how medieval serfs felt like when someone said you can grasp the stars? Its not like we live in different worlds than ordinaries but are dimensions apart.
Atleast I dont get mad/sad about these things anymore so its a plus?
it's fucking terrible. Just when i start feeling like i have a grip on things reality comes nd kicks me in the teeth.
I just want to die. I don't have the energy necessary to continue living.
realizing everyday how theres literally no point to anything. being alive is so fucked up why are people still having kids
I'm so fucked that I can't even post about it here, I'm trying not to think too much about it.
Switched shampoos and got a leave in conditioner.
The breakage appears to have stopped.
Only thing I can do now is wait for my hair to grow back.
Really fucked up my beard too.
also found out they passed that banking bill where they can watch your accounts if you have $600 bucks in it.
When I come to this website it means that life is not good. I remember about this place in my worst moments.
It's neutral. Neither happy nor sad, but I guess that means it's sad since life sucks when you are not happy. I have found some interesting stuff I want to do, like learning how to draw, maybe learning 3D modelling, programming old computers, but then I ask myself: "why? I'll just waste my time, give up sometime later and wonder why I even started/stopped doing it".
I hope I die soon. That would be so lit.
Agreed. For me it may not be a case of hitting rock bottom, but simply realizing there was nothing but air under my feet.
Me too, I just hope it's quick. Quick would be dope.
Going to get a job soon, so I'll finally have money to spend on my hobbies.
Dropped uni a couple of years ago, been wageslaving ever since but im sick of it.
I kinda want to try uni again but I just dont know what to do. It frustrates me how easily normos go over this shit while im 30 and still struggling.
I live for telling people about NZ's covid stats to piss off nationalists in my own country.
same i fucking hate norms. they literally know its shitty but do it anyway cuz they want to fit in so bad and be a normie. fucking losers.
>>185641>normies wageslave cause they love being normies and want to fit in
I thought they did so they don't starve. Nice angsty insight you got there
Hello fellow wizard, thanks for asking. Well life is not going too bad, finished uni, found related job at walking distance,also part-time so i also have time for my projects, property home, savings increase… Almost 40.Wish all of you best of luck.
I'm completely alone and can't muster the energy or drive to do much of anything but overall things aren't too bad.
I'm becoming incapable of communication with most people, especially people on our very crabchan 2022
Trying to climb out of the cave, seeing some light, don't you want to see the Sun too? No, no, no, you know nothing!