I'd probably pretend to have autism, so I can stay at home instead of going to school. I have no desire to indulge into the rat race
I'd dose myself with HGH, mew from age 3, eat tough food, and try not to lose my eyesight.
There's a webtoon (Friday Forbidden tales) which has an episode with a story exactly of the situation you described. Its overall conclusion shows that we would be mentally exhausted of living as a child with our adult mind for n reasons. Time taking too slow, couldn't do +18 things like going out by yourself or drinking, no one to talk, etc.
Anyways, although I agree with it, in my case I don't think it would go that way. There are LOTS of things I wish I had done as a child and teen, things I wanted to enjoy in a better way. Apart from that, problems like family abuse and income wouldn't affect me that much cause I'd already have lived by them. I guess I'd try this new game +.
I realized that most people wouldn’t really want to go back and do something different because it would be hard, they just wish they had done it so that they could reap the rewards now without any work. There were reasons why you didn’t do the things you thought you should and likely you would never make the choose to do them if you really could, I think it’s better to think about what I can do now rather than what I should/shouldn’t have done. If I did reset my life it would just go exactly the same no matter what
i would have convinced my mom to send me to a therapist or whoever gives you a retard autism diagnosis, that way id be set for the rest of my life
>>186831>I realized that most people wouldn’t really want to go back and do something different because it would be hard
I think there are true and false aspects of this. Most people who say they'd like to do something don't really want to do it, and just want the result. I agree with that.
But avoiding things just because they're challenging is also a learned behavior. Little kids aren't like that at all, and if you raise them properly, they never start doing it.
It's destructive and negligent parenting that creates kids who are pathologically afraid of failure, or embarrassed to struggle, or who have fried reward psychology that can't derive normal human satisfaction from working towards a goal.
>>186834>It's destructive and negligent parenting that creates kids who are pathologically afraid of failure, or embarrassed to struggle, or who have fried reward psychology that can't derive normal human satisfaction from working towards a goal.
Man, yes, I'd pray a lot to discern the will of God for my life, so that I would be truly happy instead of stuck in this limbo.
It would make a huge difference. Life is very chaotic and tiny decisions can have a huge impact. Could avoid car accidents, being robbed by family, etc
When I look back on my life I see where others messed up things for me, and where I messed up things for my self. Like maybe if I try to be more open to others in just a few small ways I would be living a fulfilling life. I always think of that dumb movie Yes Man where the guy says yes to everything. I can't remember I time I said yes, because I really want to do something, I always thought about what could go wrong. Now I just spend my days thinking about what could have been because it all seems way too late now.
1. Start studying programming from a young age. I know it's a meme but if I started young I could be some kind of child prodigy and get into the industry. Alternatively, start drawing so I can become a masterclass fetish artist and work from home, probably wouldn't stick to it though.
2. Get part time work early on. Back then I couldn't cope with it but I'd power through it now.
3. Start music skill early on.
4. At least attempt to cultivate positive relationships with people so I don't end up completely alone. > Its overall conclusion shows that we would be mentally exhausted of living as a child with our adult mind for n reasons. Time taking too slow, couldn't do +18 things like going out by yourself or drinking, no one to talk, etc.
Sound like norman problems. Being a kid with the mind of an adult would be incredible. You'd have access to all the media through your knowledge of torrenting. It might suck that so much stuff is yet to be released, but on the other hand it would be amazing to be there when the classics come out.
Maybe, or maybe it would be even worse.
But i never asked for life or existence, so i would simply prefer not to be at all.
All I can think about lately is having a second chance. Its gone from a once in a while day dream to all I can think about is fixing my life after I get some chance to relive it. Hell, my fantasy now is after I die I'll somehow get the chance to start over again with all my memories, and I just want to neck myself for the slim chance I'm right.
>>186928>1. Start studying programming from a young age. I know it's a meme but if I started young I could be some kind of child prodigy and get into the industry.
that's a fantasy of mine, I wouldn't take large steps as without high intelligence and diligence I don't think it's possible to maintain prodigy status to adulthood, so there would be disappointment, also I would still dislike attention, but I would be getting somewhere. Oh well, not too late to get somewhere now.
There are a number of small events in my life that had a major impact on myself. Definitely could have made slight changes one way or another and had a different outcome. But I think at my core I was always going to end up this way.
Unlike a lot of people I don't really have any regrets(outside of not investing in bitcoin). I'm happy I ended up the way I did, because it allowed me to view life from a different perspective.
I'd highly encourage you wizzies to keep learning programming. Every wizard in tech can vouch for it being a top-tier, wizard-friendly job. It's only trolls who are unemployed who say that it's bullshit. I also don't think you would find it that difficult to learn. Let me show you an example.
An expression is something that returns a value. For example: 1 is an expression that returns 1. An expression can be evaluated to see if its considered 'true' or 'false'. true is obviously true and false is obviously false.
There are statements in programming that only execute if an expression is true. So in Python if you were to write:
it would print. Because its evaluating the expression 'true' and true is considered true. All numbers are also considered true, btw. So you could also have written if 12: and it would print wiz, too.
So if statements let you conditionally execute something. If you follow me so far you definitely have what it takes to learn programming! Learn an easy, fundamental language like Python and you'll be able to get a job eventually.
>>188114>not putting parentheses around all your expressions
I heard Python was easier, I have to deal with C++ shit, those algorithms and data structures, and this Java shit as a student.
A reset wouldn't do any good if you're born with a bad brain. Even if I retained wisdom of my situation, I am sure I would just find new inappropriate ways to fuck up most social scenarios. Life isn't a visual novel to game the dialogue options until you find the most desirable outcome. Everyone has their own desires and those will still conflict with yours no matter how often you restart. Some people are simply born at odds with the universe.
Get a remote job and you just need to answer chat/email like once a day.
Python is a lot easier than C and Java but there is also less demand for it.
Try NodeJS + React its a nice option for web and it's a lot easier than Java, pays de same or more and it has become more popular in the last years.
Get a remote job and earn good money with a nice remote job.
Remote is almost worse, because then all the psychos with an anxious attachment style can’t SEE you physically there for X hours a day, so they need you constantly checking in and committing and have spasms if you show as AFK in slack.
better chance playing the lottery than finding that
>open thread about literally anything
>see unrelated "learn2code bro" advice
Yes, everything that is fashionable should automatically be discarded on that basis. people who unironically believe this are very foolish.
Yeah things i put off like getting my license or wagecucking could have had a much better outcome on my life if i had just gotten to it ASAP. Hell, just having an adult perspective of how unimportant school was and how much time you had to utilise. I hate fantasising about this stuff though because it puts me in mental anguish when i sober up. I hate it when people go "YOU'RE LIFE WOULD JUST END UP EXACTLY THE SAME" when discussing this because it's bullshit and the far more obvious and deep cutting insult is to just point out how you're just wasting your time now because it's never going to happen.
I think most, if not all of the events that led me to this point in my life were out of my control. I did my fair share of fuck-ups as a young adult, but not nearly enough to ruin my life. The environment that I was raised in and my parents were a big part of the problem, and it’s no surprise that my siblings are no different from me. Both are 22-25 year old virgin recluses.
Some people claim that it’s one’s own responsibility to teach himself how to navigate in the world, how to do this and that, and that it’s our responsibility to fix what our parents ruined, but I disagree. Some forms of damage cannot be fixed, same way shattered glass cannot be fixed.
I was powerless during my childhood, and had no control over anything. I used to get beat up regularly by both my parents and by some teachers at school too. Even if I could go back and relive my life with the very little wisdom that I had gained over the years it would still very much be the same. Perhaps I’d try to prevent myself from abusing drugs, but that in itself was more of a cope and not a bad decision (Although I’m not really sure) and I can’t think of any other coping mechanisms that I may have used to deal with all the intrusive thoughts and memories of my childhood.
I'm in my mid 20s and I feel like my mental health problems have only just been stabilized. I took me multiple doctors and a couple of years of trying different meds to get there. Having mental illness ruined my early life and took away every opportunity I had. i wish there was better mental health resources tbh.
I’ve always been sceptical about antidepressants and psychotropics in general but I’m curious to know if you don’t mind me asking. What meds are you taking and what were you diagnosed with? And how were you feeling before and how are you feeling now?
>>186716>Would you be any better off or would it all go the same for you?
If I prioritized exercise and mathematics, I would at least be able to tell if the deck was truly rigged against me.
thanks for asking, wizzie. these are really good questions. mental illness has a lot of prejudice so let me say first of all to try reserve any judgement before i answer.
I'm diagnosed with bipolar, autism, and adhd. Of the three, I'd say people probably have a bad impression of 'bipolar' and 'adhd'. When I hear 'bipolar' I think 'unstable' and maybe even 'untrustworthy'. but people with bipolar aren't a danger to anyone (except maybe themselves.) bipolar means you go through lengthy periods of depression followed by 'mania'. mania can be liked to being high on a stimulant: you feel really positive, you have more energy, you talk faster. with mania there is also some impairment in judgement as you're more in the moment and less reserved. this can cause people who are manic to spend more money than they should or even to have risky sex.
bipolar is quite an interesting condition because many people who have it believe its a blessing. you can imagine if you had an illness where half of it made you feel unbelievably good, motivated, creative, and energetic, that you may be reluctant to even want to treat it let alone call it an illness. but the flip side is if you're manic you always end up crashing and being depressed which can last months. so that's what bipolar is like. ADHD is also a stigmatised illness. many people believe it doesn't exist (and you see this on wizchan, too.) when someone says they're 'ADHD' immediately you think of the kid in class who is always in trouble and can't do their work.
honestly, the online ADHD communities don't do the illness much justice. they are full of people whining about inane shit. they make the illness look trivial and the afflicted like a bunch of low iq morons. what's important to realize about the condition is it is a real condition based on irregularities in the brain. people with adhd have a lack of dopamine (which reinforces rewards) and also irregularities with norepinephrine (which regulates wakefulness.) adhd meds are based on tweaking some ratio of these neurotransmitters to restore normality in the brain. people with adhd dont get 'high' taking stimulants because they were deficient in these brain chemicals to begin with.
now autism is a little tricky. i am sure you've seen videos of people online with autism who were screeching, punching holes in the wall, and generally acting bizarre. well, theirs a whole range of symptoms associated with autism and individuals may have some or all of them in different severity. common symptoms include sleep disturbances, anxiety, sensory problems, and communication impairment. depending on the dice roll, a person may have autism and still be highly functioning. or they could be like rainman and be so overwhelmed by the outside world that they need a controlled environment just to maintain stasis. now you have a good background on these conditions and how the effect me. i can answer your questions.
>meds im taking
keep my mood level - sodium valprotate
avoid panic attacks - propranolol
avoid depression - venalefaxine
focus through the day - dextromethylphenidate
sleep at night - [mirtazapine, melatonin (otc), l-theanine (otc)]
>how was i feeling before
I felt constantly stressed and couldn't sleep. Sometimes it got so bad I went to the hospital to beg for relief. I had panic attacks often, especially in social situations. My heart would pound so hard I worried that there might be a problem with my heart. I went to a cardiologist but they found nothing wrong - it was just intense anxiety. I'd often feel extremely depressed and unmotivated despite having a life worth living. I was unable to focus on anything and used to drink like 6 coffees a day to get by. I felt like I had no control over my life and couldn't do anything I wanted to.
>how are you feeling now
Almost all my symptoms are gone. No depression, panic attacks, or mania. With the meds I am able to focus on complex work and I'm insanely productive. But I admit I still suffer from sleep problems. Sleep is honestly very hard to get right with medication because mostly drugs don't make you enter the equivalent of natural sleep and if they're strong enough to knock you out you often get hang-over effects the next day. I will be bringing up my sleeping issues with my doctor next time I see him. There is this particular med that's supposed to be really good.
>sceptical about meds and psychiatry
I have some advice to wizards who may be considering going on psychiatric meds tbh. Most people don't have realistic expectations about psychiatry and how it treats people and knowing what to expect is extremely important.
If you're thinking of seeing a psychiatrist you probably have some idea what is wrong with you already. But I can only ask for you to keep an open mind and to be open with the doctor about your symptoms. It may turn out that there is something else wrong with you. As an example: I was initially referred to a psychiatrist for social anxiety issues and trouble focusing. But my awareness about mental illness and my problems was very limited. It took time working with the psychiatrist to really work out everything wrong with me. So please be open with the doctor and don't be paranoid. They respect your privacy and can offer life-changing help.
The other thing people aren't realistic about is meds. There are special medical tests that can be done to help predict how a patient will respond to various medications - but this is an emerging science. You will have to do a lot of trial and error to find meds that work. Expect to have to spend a long time switching meds and adjusting doses. The other thing to note is when people first start a psychiatric medication there are a lot of symptoms that come on like fatigue, nausea, insomnia, and head aches but these almost always go away. It's a hard process because you will need to be on a med for like a month to get it stable in your body and to know its working and it is very ironic that in most cases you will have to initially feel bad to feel better.
So don't expect the treatment phase to be quick and easy. What you should know about meds is they do work and the tools that psychiatrists have for treatment are substantial. If you suffer from mental illness going on meds could change your life. So it's well worth the shitty process of getting your meds right.
hope that helps wizzo
>tfw long postinggg is long
Is this in a socialist utopia?
Getting this level of healthcare here probly means I have enough money to live off passive funds hence who cares about my problems anymore. I mean I just realized all this hullabaloo over stabilizing myself so I can function outside to make money to live.
>>186831>I realized that most people wouldn’t really want to go back and do something different because it would be hard, they just wish they had done it so that they could reap the rewards now without any work.
At least for me, this isn't the case at all. I was a lazy bastard, true, but I was too paralyzed by fear of the unknown to make decisions that needed to be done. They wouldn't even need to be harder than they were the first time around, I would just make simple changes with the advantage of knowing what the outcome would be.
How long did it take for the venlafaxine fatigue to go away? I’ve kind of given up on it because it makes me sleep all day.
I made a few mistakes that anyone could make that also compounded later.
When I was fifteen I had braces in my upper teeth. After probably a year they said "next upper teeth" I noped out of that one, my parents of course tried to reason me into having them so I dont regret it later. Obviously they were right but I was just so done with them.
So I had to get braces later at 21 and wear them for 2 years before bimax and then one year after the surgery. The bimax was done because of my recessed jaw and open bite.(Gap between upper and lower teeth even with jaw closed) Pretty subhuman look
So if I had braces earlier I probably would have bimax a lot earlier.
Then after high school I tried to apply a prestigious school 3 times and failed. (I live in northern europe, things are a bit different here) After that I gave up on that dream and just went to random a vocation school where i wasted 2 years. Before getting into STEM college at 25.
I could have skipped all that bullshit and went the STEM way at 19 year old. Wouldnt have me graduating in middle of this covid bs.
Then to the last fix. I always had flat feet. I couldnt stand for even 1 hour without pain. Walking was fine. Flat feet affect your posture and force generation so my squat always sucked no matter how much I grinded, I was always just struggling to even stay balanced. Then I researched that they can fix that too with surgery. Que 2 consecutive years where they fixed my right foot, then left. Now I can stand pain free, squat better and I'm 1cm taller and now I have abs. Flat feet just fuck up your body in unbeliavably many ways. Your abs dont activate correctly.
I mean, my point is that medicine can fix a lot of fucking stuff in your life. It's only truly bad if you are like 5'3 tall, because then even painfull LL surgery wont truly ascend you.
Venlafaxine is supposed to be one of the 'stimulating' anti-depressants. There's a combination called 'California rocket-fuel' that consists of Venlafaxine + mirtazapine.
For me it was never sedating but when I first took it the drug worked so well it was like a benzo (and I felt ridiculously content.) You may need to switch drugs since this seems like a weird reaction. Worth talking to your doctor about.
I would do everything exactly the same. There is no choice.
There are lots of things I'd do in a different way if given a second chance. And I think that is fine. It is good to have some ability to reflect on your actions and mistakes of the past. Instead of blindly embracing fate we should mourn our bad choices and mistakes to a healthy extent, that is a very human thing to do.
To talk in concrete terms I'd be much more aggressive, assertive and ready for conflicts if I had the ability to redo my past. I was a coward way too many times. And there were some times I was too harsh with people or animals that didn't deserve it. I learned that if I have some frustration or anger it is best to unleash it upon the person I have a grudge against, not on others.
after I read this thread I see that my situation is very common among wizards, the same thing that several wizards are reporting here that led them to total failure has also happened to me… family abuse.
Family abuse… this led to most of my failuresin life. Sabotage, emotional and physical abuse during my childhood years, public humiliation, theft, and that's just for the start, ended up driving me into this state of total failure. like every good religious cuck I took a real long time to recognize and accept that my family was fucking me up… and that's why it took me a long to react properly against them… for example still in 2009 I had gathered the sum of 500 dollars and was about to invest in bitcoins, at that time I was an enthusiast about economic matters and knew that bitcoins would become valuable in the future, but my mother found out that I had a lot of money saved up and decided to ask for access to my bank account to save money there, since she had a lot of debts the bank was going to confiscate her money if she put it in her account, well I think you guys managed to see what happened…
well i also had some "friends" who sabotaged me here and there, and it took me a long time to see that too, however this problem has been much less intense than what i faced with my family, my “friends” mostly sabotage me with sucubi in my school years and if weren’t for that I might not have become a wizard.
Of course I also made some mistakes, who never made a mistake right? but when I stop to think about them, my mistakes are almost irrelevant in the general context of my life, they did little in bringing me to this state of failure.
As some wizards have already said here, almost all the destructive habits I have nowadays I learned from my family (fear of challenges, social fobia, giving up on things after trying just once, etc..) and correcting them and the feelings that we learned and cultivated during our childhood is almost impossible as adults, this is scientifically proven …
I haven't declared total game over yet, I'm trying to become a engineer, and trying with some degree of success to network with professors who have a successful career in my field, this year will be vital to change the game for me, if I get a nomination for a good job or internship by them and succeed in maintaining it I might have a rather comfortable life after some years of wage cucking…
well back to the main subject thread
if i could reincarnate now and somehow maintain all the cognitive functions of an older man (emotional control, focus, general knowledge, etc…) i think that even if i was born into an abusive family again i would have a much better life, among the things I would do differently would be, use the rapid absorption of information of a child's brain and learn several languages at a young age, start meditating as a child, read more as a child, put real effort in school, learning various musical instruments as a child, trying to go to medical school, developing friendships with people who really like me and not with back stabbing cunts, do more exercise from a young age, having a decent diet from a young age (eat 2 boiled eggs every day, eat more vegetables, grapes and blablabla)
i would do everything so much better if i could reset it now, well this is just a dream, it's pointless to think about these things now, pointless and sad.
sorry for my bad english, i'm not an american.
How do you pay for it? I'm assuming it's not coming from the parents.
i have a government scholarship for my college… my parents never paid a cent for my college…They even sabotaged me several times.
there are downsidesin having a government scholarship… I always have to demonstrate a certain performance in studies and for someone who was born with an average IQ this means many, many hours of study if I want to become an engineer and the constant fear of losing my scholarship…
hey im not that anon but i appreciate your long posts. it’s very informative. it help me understand those stuffs.
I've thought this before when frustrated
Dunno how far I would've gotten with this approach
Might have been able to acquire "some freedom" in the sense that I'd be practically immune to normalshit criticism on the Internet
I used to, but I've become more objectively black pilled in all the ways I suck.
Its a fine line between regret and fatalism.
Regret sucks, if i have the perfect redo to a good life, and I missed it because of a wrong choice. angst.
but fatalism is fatal. the self-loathing and self-hate of thinking im just dogshit, doomed dna.
but objectively, i lean much more towards fatalism these days
the lookism bros desperate to 'improve their bodies' are the most likely to waste time and money on stupid tricks and products. the astroturfers in industries who profit off of the insecurities of this crowd are among the ones promoting this shit.
I used to have very elaborate redo fantasies. Basically reliving an alt life. I would even go to Archive.org and look at college pages from 2006, to make it more realistic to the times.
but I'm black pilled enough at this point that if I could restart as a teen, tween or kid, knowing all I do now about myself and the world. I would just lay in bed and never get out.
I would be a Kindergarten neet, dropout, hikki. I would never go to school. Not waste my time interacting with peers. Not learn to read or write.
I'd be a Kindergarten Wizchaner, and people wouldn't tell if my gibberish was shitposting or zoomer newspeak
Theres a peace and freedom in fatalism, freedom from all regrets and redos. This was the only road. Calvinist predestination. The reprobate.