I feel the same way about his writing.
A lot of people assume that the default for "us" or just other people in general is: good health, reasonably stable background and a bare minimum career.
There is no default.
I'm only 27 so I don't wish to give advice to OP as I have naught to share. Still I never really worked a real job in my life, failed every opportunity given to me by fate, family or circumstance, was a mental wreck and an outcast since young, fucked my health up through neglect and genetics.
Here I am standing at the starting line of life at 27. I have to find a job or it's over. I got a couple thousand $ worth of debt (not American just converted) and no skills, no peoples skills, no health to do physical jobs, no ability to really talk to people.
It feels like every time I try and get a job or apply myself somewhere, ask for help or whatever it's nothing more than an invitation to humiliation.
I can't really complain though, it was obviously going to happen eventually, saw this coming a when I was in first grade at like 6, it's just shocking to realize I'm already there.
Inherited arthritis, a weak heart and auto immune problems, fucked my spine in two places (lumbar, cervical) through lifestyle probably, even though both grandfathers and my father had the same issues with a total active normie life. Got some form of poly-neuropathy going on.
Got tinnitus and many other shit that makes living completely miserable. Got diagnosed for Schizoid and "autistic behavioral patterns" whatever that means.
Yet despite all this:>He says he'd just as soon check out than live with any health issue. LOL okay.
I can't do it. I spent way more time in my own head during this shockingly short yet agonizingly long time I had on earth than I'd like to admit, but I can't just kill myself.
You know I also used to say this. "When it gets bad enough." It never gets bad enough.
The next level of misery always becomes the new baseline, we are shockingly resilient like that. I feel like most of it comes down to the schizoid aspect as I'm not an emotional person at all. Don't care for connections much aside from a very abstract sense. The thought of pursuing succubi, sex, relationships an own family doesn't even enter my mind aside from a vague notion of "I'm supposed to want this".
Whats the take away?
It could be a lot worse, it will be a lot worse, it is a lot worse for some of you already. I've read so many stories from other "wizards/apprentices" here that sometimes I was ashamed of my own pain and problems by comparison. One professor once said something that really stuck with me for the past 6-7 years.
"Suffering is relative."
That it is. We all got our own personal flavor of hell here. I don't belittle people who moan about their desire for intimacy anymore, because I know they are hurting too. I don't think I can give advice without recognizing that the anon I'm talking to might be homeless with 2 legs missing. Not much can be said that applies universally and an attempt at spewing some words of aid might be nothing, but scorching pain to some, thrown at them by one at a relative level of privilege.