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Disregard Females, Acquire Magic
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File: 1661733960425.jpg (75.96 KB, 553x582, 553:582, IMG_9030.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.194777

I'm 28 years old and never had a girlfriend in my life, never.

Confession time and thread.

 No.194778

>>194777
Was that your confession or just an opening statement?

 No.194779

>>194778
Opening statement.

 No.194785

I know I'm probably going to get lambasted for this, but since it's a confessions thread, I'll take the chance:

I'm the one who's been flushing toilet paper. I know it clogs the septic after a while but honestly if I use the rubbish bin beside the toilet, then I'm going to be obligated to clean it, and I'm not cleaning out the shit paper of 8 other men who exist in a perpetual caffeine-induced unwipeable diarrhea state. I honestly think more than one of them just shits directly in to the bin because they don't trust the toilet with their weight so they just hover. The American Standard large model (with the cut-out on the seat like in public restrooms) was only $80 more and I offered to pay it. What you got was designed for little Asian succubi and it's only a matter of time before it collapses under ones of our weight. The reservoir in the back isn't dialed in correctly so it barely fills up enough to flush, like it's an eco water saver or something. And when the upstairs sink is running, air bubbles come up and spray shit water everywhere. I know the house is old and the piping is all fucked up with iron and calcium but that's exactly WHY we needed the big toilet. So yeah I hardly use the thing and when I do I'm definitely not contributing to that pile of shit that's stinking up the whole upstairs. It's not the cat shit like you've been told; it's the people who've been blaming the cat. I need to wait 45 minutes for the bus after work anyway so I just end up using the toilet and even sponging off there, at least that water's clean and if I get any of that in on my lunch break it's like I'm being payed to shit. And someone's been shaving in front of the mirror beside the washing machine and just leaving the hair there. I don't know who used it last but the vacuum bag holder part is cracked so it just shoots dust out the side. If you have like a big elastic or something lying around you could probably use that to clamp it down so it works but honestly I think I'm just gonna get the shop vac from the garage and keep it under the stairs or something. They're all grown men, I'm not going to whine about what they do and I'm certainly not going to clean up after them but don't go accusing me of being responsible for any of their mess. The toilet's going to clog no matter what because the septic bed is so busted and when it does I know how to snake it out but yeah if these people want to horde dirty toilet paper then that's their problem, not mine

>inb4 "fakewiz unvirgin"

 No.194786

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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 No.194787

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 No.194788

I'm a virgin

 No.194790

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 No.194794

>>194777
>bros i have a confession…
>im actually a virgin
my guy, we all are virgins here

here is a real confession:
when my neighbor sold their house and left, i raided the property at night and took the potted plants. they left behind a dozen huge ass pots. i grew tomatoes and some other things in them this year

 No.194795

>>194785
you can get a bidet attachment for any toilet. i blast my ass so clean i sometimes use the hanging towel (on the wall rack) or shower curtain to dry my ass, no tp required

 No.194834

I have often worn makeup since I was a teen and I dont think anyone ever noticed

 No.194839

>>194834
U gay, bro?

 No.194841

>>194840
how do you know he didnt share something later and just didnt want his confession to be in the op?

 No.194842

File: 1661790725288.jpg (70.65 KB, 1200x900, 4:3, king.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

I know you've had your suspicions

 No.194852

>>194851
>Anonymous wizards
>Personal information

Damn, you're not that bright, friend.

 No.194853

>>194852
>he doesn't know mods keep a file
You're new here I see.

 No.194854

>>194853
>Files on anonymous folk

Why? Just why would you do that?

 No.194865

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>>194777

I love Stephanie, but I think that's normal so idk if it counts as a confession.

 No.195253

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>>194777
you wont believe how much I hated myself and everyone on this wretched planet, but then… it stopped and I gradually began looking into wormhole, life is still far from great, but I realized that jews are the heaviest problem of humanity that needs to be solved.

 No.195270

>>195253
>The Jew are the reason that I'm a wizard!

Cope

 No.195279

The reason I became a wizard is because several succubi harassed me in high school. I don't consider myself good looking, but I was very shy and that attracted certain succubi. I don't know why it happened to me often, but I attracted a certain group of very dominant succubi, in fact one of them almost sexually abused me, she liked to grab my butt and wanted sometimes to put her finger in my asshole. Since that experience, I am quite panicky about the opposite sex.

 No.195294

>>195279
>wanted sometimes to put her finger in my asshole
Did she?

 No.195295

>>195279
damn what the fuck

 No.195300

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 No.195326

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>>195279
she put her fingers in what

 No.195329

>>195253
Jews are the Temple of Satan, no big deal really, compared to the Temple of Sol.

templeos.motes.camp
asha.motes.camp

 No.195346

>>195329
>jew this jew that

Just take your schizo meds, bro.

 No.196552

>>194777
I went to the beach for the first time since my childhood. It's funny because I live only a hundred yards or so from the beach, but I haven't gone in so long. It was a little weird honestly, since I'm a hardcore shut in that goes outside maybe once every few months and my parents spoil me to a ridiculous degree letting me live like this.

The feeling of the sand on my feet, the water on my body and in my hands. It's difficult to describe. My mother didn't understand why it was such a big deal for me when I tried to talk to her about it.

 No.196599

>>196552
>My mother didn't understand why it was such a big deal for me when I tried to talk to her about it.
Your autism

 No.196840

>>194777
you can't post there, you must be a wizrd (30+yo virgin male)

 No.196892

>>195279
when would this succubus have an opportunity to fingerbang you? hard for me to imagine the circumstances that would enable this.

 No.197027

I'm a closeted tranny, but since I'm too old and ugly to transition the only thing I've left is to rot and die or 41% myself.

 No.197065

>>197027
why is it appearance so important? just get over it dude. Some people are born with deformities, others get their face burned or ripped off by a pitiful and they continue living despite not liking their appearance
>>194777
I stopped caring at around 30. I'm 32 now and loneliness is the least of my problems. Trust me it can get way worse, having a gf only seems important cos society shills it. Eventually you stop caring, or at lest it happened to me.

 No.197066

>>195279
that succubus that wanted to finger you was most likely molested

 No.197544

>>194785
>I'm the one who's been flushing toilet paper
Is there something wrong with it?

 No.197552

>>194785
So this is the freedom of moving out and living alone. Glad I didn't fall for that meme.

 No.197725

I hate being a man. I think I'm gay.

 No.197728

>>197552
that guy is a third-worlder, living with his mom wouldn't save him from pajeet plumbing.

 No.197736

Sometimes I look at my wizbutt in the wizmirror for an hour and get really frisky afterwards

 No.197742

>>194854
For fun? You never compiled a dox file?

 No.197744

>>194777
I'm 35, almost 36, and I never had a girlfriend.

It is bizarre how quickly time passes once you get a job and start living independently. If you don't actively try to make things happen, days quickly become months, months become years.

In your mind, you will remember yourself as you were in your 20s, but one day you will wake up in the mirror and see what comparatively looks like an old man.

 No.197745

>>194777
bantest



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