>>311549The problem is every time I spent my money on things that made me happy and optimistically thought I'll just make that money back, I never did.
It's very hard to replenish savings as an autist. It might be years before you get another job or your parents aid you.
Then bad stuff happened like my beater car suddenly requiring $1400 in repairs to run, and my washing machine broke down. I had to beg my grandparents for a loan and they started loathing me.
So now I have $20k saved up due to that trauma. From eating ultra frugally and not spending a cent on anything but the cheapest foods that have nutritional value.
And I'm afraid to spend even a cent of it in case I need it for catastrophes.
At this point, I feel physically ill if I have to spend more than $10 in one day.
Money has ruined my psyche and is the only thing I think about 99% of the time.