/dep/ - Depression

I'm already in a bad position. I'm a 29 year old Zoomer. My parents are mid range boomers. Even if they were somewhat normal there would be so much of a divide that it would make any common ground unreasonable to expect. However they are mentally ill. That was the excecution shout after I was already on the ground cowering and blown to pieces.

My father: Total naive nimrod. He could be in the middle of a South American prison yard with everyone giving him death stares and sharpening their blades. He'd be smiling like an idiot and ask "Do you mexican fellas like tacos?" "I have a lot of money back at home, I like to buy nachos!". He leaves his car RUNNING and unlocked as he spends hours in the shopping centre. His car has been stolen atleast 10+ times. He's no longer able to be insured, yet he still does this. He's dropped an easy 150k+ in stolen cars that could have been idk, not wasted? I swear his awareness IQ is easily like 10~25. He gives everyone money but his own family.

MY mother: She's even worse, she has all the same qualities as my dad but she's also mumbling to herself non stop. She talks 24/7 and that isn't a joke. She will have an hour long rannt at me about checking the mail box "I checked the mail, or did i? I didn/t wait no i did but i dont remember or did i did i? there was no mail or was there? there is mail? when is mail?" Literally just that on repeat, if she isn't talking she is grumbling to herself NON FUCKING STOP!!!!!!!!! why cant she shut the fuck up

Cant seem to enjoy anything, I tried to get into hobbies but I cant enjoy them. Everything feels like a task that must be taken care of. I cant sit down and enjoy a good game or a meal. I feel jealous of the average human capable of creation and enjoyment. Everything feels fleeting and cloudy. I want to appreciate life more.

Whenever you feel depressed, crazy, angry, and stressful, come here and draw something using Evil Oekaki. You can draw anything here before chaos. do not draw pornography is prohibited!!.

Hesitation is defeat edition. There is no running away.

Previous >>309794

I feel like the last few years have passed so quickly, every day I spend alone, isolated, but it's okay, every problem I face, fatigue, failure, sadness, and so on, I've been through every day, but hey, I'm still here until now and it seems like I've made peace with my mental problems, maybe I'm used to facing it alone without the help of others, I feel like depression is part of my routine and part of my personality, but I'm happy

I just want to vent my frustration here. Why is it that when I’m hated and constantly treated like trash and a loser by everyone they suddenly act sweet toward me? If I’m truly loathed and viewed as nothing more than garbage and a failure, why do those hypocrites act so nice? I don’t mind being seen that way, but when they suddenly soften their attitude, it feels incredibly hypocritical. Why do they suddenly act kindly? If you hate me, then hate me don't hold back, just hate me fully. Its infuriating. Don't try to soften a heart that has already been wounded by a million pains it only adds to my suffering.

Discuss your substance related coping mechanisms and how it pertains to your depression here.

got tired of liking furries so much… so i drew then hanging in the gallows

Another Evil under the Sun Edition. You of many.

Previous: >>308343

…

>be me
>bored
>decide to go for a walk
>the group that used to harass me in high school sees me
>they start shouting embarrassing nicknames they gave me loudly, just like they did in HS
I thought I wouldn't need to deal with that anymore, but it seems like I was wrong. Has anyone here ever experienced something similar? I just want to have some peace.