/dep/ - Depression

I am physically disabled with many symptoms, I can't work or anything, nor do I have money for any hobbies, I can't even cope with suicidality since I am afraid of dying and the after-life (call me superstitious) and honestly it's not that bad either for me in most of the days in regards to my health as my family still supports me and pays for my medication, it's mostly that life feels utterly-empty for me.

Does anybody else live with family who have seemingly not a care in the world to be careful with your belongings?? It's incredibly annoying and often blood boiling. I have a lot of collections, and attempt to make models like tanks/planes/warhammer stuff and quite often my parents will "inspect" my room for whatever retarded reason and often break several items. I internally call my dad "The grabbler" he picks up delicate items with his full fist, all fingers perfectly alinged - like a special ed kid grabbing a pencil. As you can imagine, this often BREAKS anything even remotely fragile.

This has been an issue I've dealt with my entire life. I'd have my pokemon cards on a playing mat in my room, parents barge in and walk right on them despite them being able to walk around it, and I wasn't even in the way. Or other times where they would grab my school work with greasy/chocolate coated hands and get stains all over it. Also they love coughing and sneezing without any attempt to cover their mouths. You will see spit and mucus stains EVERYWHERE in the house. Especially on the shared computer screen, utterly disgusting.

I have tried everything to get them to be less dirty and more respectful and mindful but they just don't care, my mother is literally too stupid to understand, my father just doesn't care. I don't really want to move out either as it's not a possibility on my wages unless I want to live in a car or next to criminal social housing with even more disgusting people.

The list goes on and on about all the dirty behaviour they get up to. I might even jot down some greentext stories if I'm bored later

Let's discuss physical chronic pains to share tips and tricks on *managing* them.


For instance, I used to sffer of chronic knee pain.

Then, I got myself some cheap "orthopedic" soles for my shoes. THe pain kinda went away. Then, serval months later, I was told by my doctor my muscles are all weak (dead butt syndrome/dead ass syndrome/Hank Hill syndrome). Now I do some stuff to keep my leg muscles in okay condition.


Pic antirelated

feeling really lost
especially because i can compare it to earlier times
where things felt more bearable
or at least that i had some bearings to ground myself
school and college, a brief post-graduate unemployment, and then solid employment for many years that led to to a point where i actually kind of enjoyed my life
things felt really stable. i liked the people i had around me every day.
but shit doesn't last, and I have lost everything that kept my mental health from spiraling
and so it's spiraled
addiction and dopamine control my life and I get phases of focus and productivity that quickly fades when I get anxious and start smoking weed from morning to night.
I'm just rambling now because this is my mind these days, just constantly ruminating and unable to find a glimmer of hope to latch onto in order to make sustained gradual change to improve my life and 'return to glory' like I used to experience day to day.

Because nowadays life is uncomfortable
and discomfort without meaning is just suffering

how do i find meaning again after I lost it? Without it I feel so unmotivated to do anything about lacking it.

I'm tired, boss. Tired of being on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. I'm tired of never having me a buddy to be with to tell me where we're going to, coming from, or why. Mostly, I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world… every day. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head… all the time. Can you understand?

Starting a new anti-suicide general as the original has been bump-locked.

Helping wizards to understand that persuasive feelings of suicide can be bested.

Further the discursive spirit of this thread will remain the same as the first: to counter the general luring tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads through sharing positive practical advice purposed to reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.

(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care (many have already done this, to no worthwhile avail)
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain. Delimiting ingestion of both is wise.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open whichever windows punctuate your room and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.

I've done my part. Anyone else?

The sole purpose of this post is to share the techniques and books I have accumulated over time to achieve relaxation and other things.
I have read about meditation, magic, ceremonial magic, chaotic and postmodern magic, anxiety therapies, and relaxation techniques. This thread is not a cure for all problems. I don't want to turn this into a blogspot, so feel free to ask whatever you want.
>Also
Remember that you can also search for the techniques I mention on the internet, on YouTube, or on WikiHow, where you can find help on how to perform these techniques and more tips.

This is the classic "suicide general", where we discuss methods and say farewell to our fellow wizards, quite different from that other thread in the catalog.

I'm currently 26, almost 27 (rings a bell?). And I can't take it anymore. I will soon depart from life through hanging. I haven't done it yet because I live in a shithole and there are always people around making noise and being nosy. I will just wait till it's very quiet so I can go to the woods and end this miserable existence.

I don't care if it might "get better". Existence itself is a curse and we're all gonna die anyway. I've read enough pessimist books and life affirming books and I side with the former. I don't need your compansion, because the thought that I will soon disappear is the only thing that makes me happy. I'm not even sad because of this.

The imposition edition. How many times have you done this? Previous https://wizchan.org/dep/res/303254+50.html

I miss being a proper neet so much and im jealous of people who can be
I miss just being able to play some stupid game 12 hours a day and watch videos on the side
i still dont have friends or a gf so what am I doing
everything is worse
my body
my mind
my freedom