/dep/ - Depression

Discuss your substance related coping mechanisms and how it pertains to your depression here.

Another Evil under the Sun Edition. You of many.

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i keep wondering if all fiction could be unhealthy for the brain. human life is so short, a day has so few hours. how can you take one or more of these hours and flee to a place that doesn't exist and disconnect from your own reality.

places that don't exist have begun to repell me. my own reality has so many projects i would like to attend to that i feel gridlocked by not knowing what to do first. desire for fiction might be nothing but pure idleness.

i assume i understand the impulse, though i could be mistaken. when i was a child and were forced to attend child prison (school), the idea of no longer being able to explore the world at my own pace and instead had to spend time with the violent conformist was completely depressing. have them judge my intelligence based on how hard i could force myself to care what they thought was important in their desperate attempt to turn me into a mindless soldier and stomp all my dreams and interests in the process.

i'd flee into video games and at least videogames are interactive. in a video game i can make decisions, in school i was but an inmate without agency. but in a movie about a super hero, there is no interaction, the poor fool who watches this is but the passive recipient of centralized propaganda. i don't see how someone would accept this premise and spend time on this.

whenever you're depressed or sad, come here and draw something using Oekaki. you can draw whatever you want

>The more I seclude myself the more I long for human connection
>The more I interact with the 3D world the more I just want to be left alone
I literally cannot win in this life
I am always worried about doing the wrong thing, I am always lamenting all of my errors of the past
I hardly actually live

anyone here into studying carl jung by any chance? there is a lot i find fascinating about him but what impressed me the most is that he condensed his mental health strategy into a single word: integtation. implied in this is that each person has unconscious parts and by making those unconscious parts conscious, they no longer sabotage.

to me this is amazing and ballsey. i image most other mental health practitioners would not give you a one word answer to the question of how to have a healthy mind. i image they'd say that this is impossible to answer and that it depends and that an expert is needed.

Do you think suicide hotlines are helpful? I have been calling them almost everyday without anything improving.
Is there a better alternative?

Does anyone else hate his own body? I hate mine so much, I feel uncomfortable in my own body the whole time, it doesn't matter what I'm doing, I feel dirty, sick, detqched from my body. I want to get out of my body.

I feel like a lot of people, especially older normies overestimate the abilities of the average guy and the problems that are out there to be solved in real life.

There is this old guy I listened to for the past decade now called Eli the Computer Guy and he often repeats this mantra that a tech professional should go out there pick themselves up by their bootstraps and solve problems for money.
Solve real world problems for money. Provide solutions using your skills. Over and over again while teaching people about making toy cars with a microcomputer or whatever.

Issue is there aren't any problems the average guy is capable of solving that people are able to pay enough for to make it worthwhile.
Maybe I'm low IQ and not creative enough, but that is the point I guess.
The average guy that got a CS or engineering degree and is now doing menial tasks at a big corporation isn't going to create groundbreaking solutions because everything worth doing, all the low hanging fruit and obvious problem/solution pairs have been done to death, patented to death or worse.

Big tech is so big that they offer a solution so refined, so solid, so cheap that no mom-and-pop shop will ever give you the time of day if those even exist.
The average normie is quite content with a phone which is basically a toy-ified computer gadget.
They don't need more.
Most even run their own little business from it using a handful of cheap/free big tech tools that if you were to offer a homebrew solution for it would cost an arm and leg to maintain without economies of scale.

What does a network tech that wants to "solve problems" do aside from running cable? You could lease a 10G fiber line from a big ISP and sublet it by wiring up a small village I guess?
Then the government gives a huge fucking grant to big ISP and they just wire up every small village themselves leaving you with nothing.
If you are lucky you can become a subcontractor doing menial tasks for the big ISP in a set region.

What does the average coder do now? Especially with the future of them limiting hardware/software access? Every app is made that a normie needs. Kinda like with websites.
Every normie uses less than a dozen of them, mostly through apps…
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This is the classic "Suicide General", where we discuss methods and say farewell to our fellow wizards.

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>>296511