/dep/ - Depression

I have a lot of faults of my own, perhaps my current predicament is entirely my fault. I have no friends. No one to talk to. But things are worse, I was born and currently live in a really hated country on this planet but regardless it could've always been worse, I could've been a prisoner in North Korea or on the menu in Africa for a good hearty meaty meal.

The true tragedy is I am significantly over than 21, I have a very rocky relationship with my parents, who abused the hell out of me, and I literally shake and tremble in fear when my parents are angry, I can feel pain in my heart. But guess what I am over 21 years of age and they are not bound by any law to take any care of me at all but they still do, they have also helped me a lot, while I don't wish them harm, I do wish I lived away from them.

And of course I am unemployed, to a great extent, I get talked down on daily basis, while I am grateful for what my parents have done for me, I am grateful for what normies have done for me by making wonderful things like mobiles and games. I do not like the fact that my father has a carte blanche to say anything to me and do anything to me, I am grateful for society for giving me mobiles and games, as I said. But I don't like how my value is only derived from what I earn.

If I don't earn, I am a pest, a drain on resources, my parents treat me like I am disposable, with no respect, at all. And why should they cause love isn't unconditional because if they loved me unconditionally, maybe I would've abused them instead. No such thing as that.

I just want to die but I am terrified of dying without living for once. I live in an honor culture mixed with Western Style liberalism and as an unemployed person, I am the lowest common denominator in them. Money has somehow turned out to be more important than I expected it to be, I mean money is water, money is food, and money is roof. I knew that but I didn't knew how.

I have never spent a day of my life that wasn't in constant anxiety and worrying about something, not a single day in my life where I could claim that 'Yes, it was a good day.'. Perhaps I am like one of those weird females who don't want solutions to their problems but they just want to be heard, when they talk, if you know what I mean. And it surprises me that I have an iota in common with succubi.

As I said a lot of fault lies with me, I have tried for jobs, and tried for online ways to earn. But pePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

I'm an isekaist, I believe I'll get reincarnated in another world as I please. I don't think living in this world is worth, like this world is not what I wished for. I might have committed serious sins in my past life. So, I basically did nothing wrong in my current life and God/Deity/Goddess doesn't punish suicidal people as the bible doesn't mention condemnation to those who kill themselves.

Post here if you don't have enough to say for a new thread, but it's too depressing for the crawl thread.

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>>306157

Very late 20s. Never been on a date, never been approached. Never had any friends, only acquaintances. Not even meme internet "friends". I always thought these things would naturally come to me at a later age, but they never did. With each passing year it gets worse. There is something profoundly wrong with me, it's like the part of my brain that's responsible for human contact was amputated at birth

I am losing my motivation im gonna fail out of Uni
I dont really want to quit, but I have less and less energy
I am in a state of constant burnout despite doing nearly nothing
im such a failure

I have become increasingly depressed at the state of discourse about almost any subject. Look at the opinions of most people and discuss their reasoning with them; they do not really have reasons based on experience or logic. They are just saying things they think are normal to say. They imitate others. They understand the world through memes. Zero actual curiosity or critical thinking skills when it comes to discussion of politics/culture/history/science/art. Everyone just parrots what they think others think. They think in memes. Partly to fit in and achieve social acceptance and partly just monkey see monkey do like a child or animal.

Democracy is a failure because most people have no idea what they are voting for or what the consequences will be. They just follow the cultural memes. The internet has exacerbated this. Most people’s political views or views on the culture are just glorified SIX SEVEN repetitions - people have no good justification for any of the ideas they follow.

It might sound arrogant and supercilious to say these things. I worry that I am not that different and I just copy things sometimes by instinct. Makes me wonder if the self even fucking exists and we are just biological self replicating robots copying things.

Depressing. Enraging.

i'm 37 (soon to be 38). watching as your body degrades in real time is debilitating. earthly life is evil in every aspect.

Does anyone here struggle with alcohol, or have managed to quit?

It used to be a good coping mechanism for me, but it seems the older I've gotten the worse it feels, and it's become detrimental to my health and the way I behave around people. Easily annoyed, constantly starting shit, tired all the time, strange pains. And I was still getting worse, fast.

This has been a wake-up call and I'm realizing I need to quit before it's too late. Though that's easy for me to say now when I'm still feeling bad, and I fear the cravings will come back strong, but I know I've got to try.

Curious to hear others experience with this.

This is the classic "Suicide General", where we discuss methods and say farewell to our fellow wizards.

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>>296511

I am really tired
How can I find happiness independant of other people?
I cant deny I feel the need for connection, but it always ends poorly for me