/dep/ - Depression

>>305405
>>305756
Hey anon, me again. Not sure how long I will manage to live with this illness… I am very close to suicide. It worsened recently and I am unable to feel sleepy, hungry, thirsty… My body and my mind are deteriorating. I lost my identity. I lost the ability for deep abstract thought, analysis, ability to recall facts or learn new skills… I don't even have the strenght to try anymore. Stopped working out and eating healthy, I am slowly rotting and have no more will because my situation doesn't seem like it will ever get better. If it improves, that will be in many years. Completely ruined life. Apparently David Foster Wallace died because of ssris withdrawal I'm afraid it's my fate too.

What do you think of TRT, reinstatement… or something else? I have been told to do keto diet. I really feel like the best thing would be to microdose shrooms, lsd, ket or meth but I'm a retard that cant find them online asides from lsd but my card wont work on the damn site right now. I don't want to die like this. I don't know what I did to deserve this.

Picrel is the doctor that got me on ssris telling me I'm a liar, hope it makes some lurkers realize how its all so devilish. You dont wanna end up like me, I took the poison for a month and now more than a year after I stopped taking it I have severe anhedonia, numb penis, no libido, no feelings from ejaculation, worse cognitive function, hard time imagining things in my head, and what I wrote above… I think about ending my ridiculous existence every day. People used to tell me I was good in a field, people praised me as a kid and I even skipped a grade, I was the kid constantly in existential crisis. I met fascinating people. but now it's all over.

I wanted to trust the world, doctors, my parents and look how miserable I am now. If you see a miserable fuck whine about this condition on 4/x/ its me.
Never be too kind or you will be eaten alive by this cruel and devilish world.

>>306219
You should never immediately trust someone because of their status or credentials.

They might have status or credentials but they are still human and as such you can never trust their intentions until you've proven them.

>>306223
I know. I even knew it was poison. But I was in a dark place, very young, and didn't have enough life experience to realize how much this stuff could destroy me. And most of all, I wanted to make my mother happy.
>They might have status or credentials but they are still human and as such you can never trust their intentions until you've proven them.
You are very correct.

>>306148
Didn't mean to sound so dramatic. I hate crabs and their brain dead ideas. The truth is that I could never kill a human being.

>>306219
>Stopped working out and eating healthy, I am slowly rotting and have no more will because my situation doesn't seem like it will ever get better. If it improves, that will be in many years.

It’s perfectly okay to feel this way sometimes. You don’t have to feel bad for feeling this way. However there exists no objective logical ground for you to have imposed this conclusion on yourself as a sort of certain fatalistic sentence. In my own case, I managed to (mostly, ~95%) cure my pssd within about 1.5 years of its on-set. I feel that you should be able to do the same if you remain diligent in your diet and (just as importantly) trusting in your private mind that you can be bettered and ultimately returned wholly to where you were before the ingestion of ssris.

>What do you think of TRT, reinstatement… or something else? I have been told to do keto diet. I really feel like the best thing would be to microdose shrooms, lsd

I don’t think your problems are related to circulating levels of sex hormones, especially not at your age. I know after having taken ssris and encountering genital impotence and anesthesia that my own serum levels of testosterone were essentially unchanged from the year before (suggesting that the drug had not materially altered them). I cannot speak to “microdosing shrooms” as this seems near totally impertinent to the restoration of a former normal chemical balance within your brain; if anything I would imagine introducing heavy psychogenic drugs like shrooms would only further confuse an already-confused neurochemistry.

But as to what I do think might be helpful:

1. Recall that prozac being a fluoride-based ssri will particularly lower blood levels of folate (vitamin B9). In addition to everything I already recommended above in earlier posts, I would like to advise you to make sure you are getting sufficient amounts of folate into your body everyday (preferably through a well-made and well-reviewed B-complex supplement). This will combat the likely chronic folate-lowering effects of the offending drug.

“Depressed individuals often exhibit low levels of serum and red blood cell folate.”

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>305795
don't over-do.

>>304793
Do you follow this diet?

>>305499
Any authentically calm space will do. You don't always need to be on the floor to meditate, you know.

>>306619
Being outside is excellent for meditation. I actually like to vary my spots. What is your favorite?

WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE

WITH SOARING EYES

getting a job won't stop your parents from abusing you. the real reason you are the punching bag is because you are weak and they can get away with it. there are no consequences to verbally or physically abusing you. and to top it off, you also believe you rightfully deserve it, so they don't even have to fear you hating them or feel guilty.

this is not your fault. the real problem is life itself, society is built up on these chains of abusers, power structures dictated by biology, customs, even ideas. your father gets yelled at work by his own boss, the boss gets yelled at by his shareholders or clients, and so on. each of them copes with their frustrations by exercising power on those weaker than them. many wizards that live with their parents earn money, they're worth their weight and then some, but did the abuse stop? of course it didn't, the parents still see them as weak and subservient, so they exercise what little power they have and yell at them for having fun on the computer or not reaching so-and-so milestone or whatever, they can always find something.

you should try to gain power in this relationship. when your mother or father berates you for something, make sure you do the opposite. if they say be careful with so-and-so, make sure you deliberately fuck it up and have them witness that it was to spite them. eventually they will think twice before speaking up. then, make sure that you are always enjoying yourself and being happy (even when you really aren't). if they come home from work and they are demonstrating or complaining how tired they are, tell them about your day where you did absolutely nothing and make sure they understand that they are fundamentally under you. they slave while you stay at home and enjoy yourself, guilt free! initially, this might anger them, but if you stay on that anger and hold your ground, they will give up, because they are fundamentally also weak. they are fighting on another front already, they lack the energy, they will eventually say, ah, let him be, there is nothing to be done. and that, is when you win. when you morally defeat them and turn the suffering on them.

you shouldn't feel guilty about being a leech, wiz. it's your one source of power. you have no money, no friends, you don't even have peace in your own home. you should use it, make your parents suffer, make them regret the pleasure they had while fornicating, let them regret the sweet act that brought you into this worPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

I used to feel like this, now I just want to hang myself, no longer trying to get better.
There is something fundamentally lame about living anyway, you spend like 95 percent of the time struggling, suffering, surviving, for what exactly? This slow rotting and dying is inevitable and your dream existence is never coming. Might as well just get it over with.

I didn't read any of that but the solution is to take daily action start with something small and then gradually build up. Stop thinking so much and writing blogposts.

Get a skill, you may have to go to uni, or a trade school, or military. You already want to die, probably because you are paralyzed and not doing anything and self-hating on that account. Just do something SUSTAINED.

I can relate.

I'm exhausted of being paralyzed, that's either due for being so slack or become instantly petrified at imminent danger.

Breaking this addictive cycle is so damn hard, plus, you have to withstand your peers actually arousing to action and surpass you in every way while life goes on. It's tiresome.

never took pharma, but i fell for the psychotherapy meme and it made me gaslight myself my entire life that something was wrong with me. in reality, it's this society and human nature that's fundamentally sick. the-rapist's job is to make you question your own instincts and make you believe that you're defective and need 20 years of being talked down like a baby to get better from some retarded foid or homosexual that couldn't hack it as a real doctor.

all psychotherapy and pharma treatments are placebo at best. they're all equally useless because they're not affecting the actual cause of people's "disorders", namely biology and society itself.
https://coherencetherapy.org/files/dodo-bibliography.pdf

>>306974
>>306976
smelly normalnigger

>>306977
This doesn't surprise me one bit, being aware of the history of psychiatry's use of lobotomies.
The need for some medical treatment to be better than placebo just doesn't hold for psychiatry.
I don't think it's just money, normies truly love abusing mentally ill people.

anti-psychiatry thread you say?
and yet no mention anywhere discovered of the jews who invented the very discipline of psychiatry? of the jews who own the pharma companies? of the jews who manufacture and countenance the prescribing of dangerous drugs? of the jews who weaponised "psychiatry" in (((soviet))) russia as a brutal means of enforcement and murder against any goy who was able to soberly perceive the new foreign (((communist))) tyranny of his nation and could not bear the weight of the lies of his government? psychiatry is jewish fraud.

>>306990
>psychiatry's use of lobotomies.
I believe (((Walter Freeman))) was the principal villain behind this trend. He even had a lobotomy truck called a "lobotomobile" in which he would travel just murdering as many goyim as he could.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-leading-edge/202505/a-dark-chapter-in-psychiatry-the-lobotomobile

https://allthatsinteresting.com/walter-freeman

This satanic freak died in the jewish city of Berkeley CA at a very advanced age. in infernis comburat aeternaliter.

>>306983
material existence is an illusion. it's atoms bumping into each other. what each soul does or doesn't is ultimately determined by pure chaos, random chance of material circumstances. any random person is 2-3 bad decisions away from becoming those he hates and pities and condemns to a cage. once you die and you wake up from this nightmare, you'll realize how ridiculous it all was. "i was this tiny little insignificant creature with needs and urges, and i fought the other creatures to get the right atoms in my stomach for fuel and we chased and raped slightly tinier and curvier creatures to keep our sexual urges at bay and then we got even tinier creatures that we felt compelled to take care of. man, that was insane. i see now that i was all of these creatures at once, but i was split and i did not know it. anyway, last time i take a hit from the cosmic creation bong. time to get back to PURE INFINITE ETHEREAL BEING or whatever the fuck i was doing before."

oh god i am so fucking tried

>>306985
Are we really 2-3 bad decisions away from becoming the next Josef Mengele?

>>306987
trip -> break your arm -> get opiod prescription for the pain -> get addicted -> become a fent zombie that pimps out his own mother for cash

actual evil is much more banal and common place than jewish history fan fiction.

>>306988
>trip -> break your arm -> get opiod prescription for the pain -> get addicted -> become a fent zombie that pimps out his own mother for cash
Sounds like you're a victim of medical malpractice rather than an evil person

Actual evil is when you're mentally sane and rationally decide to cause suffering upon someone else

>>305896
>idk about that. think about how we live in an industrial world. we're like cats locked in a flat. you know actually unless you sterilize your cat it'll go insane locked in the house. same with dogs for that matter. i think that's what's happening to people. you can't live like this unless you're castrated, but castration isn't an option is it. so yeah for us at least it's just suffering out there

I knew it.

>you can't live like this unless you're castrated, but castration isn't an option is it
It's not an option here because it's "untraditional".

i feel the same way. i hate who i have become. i am truly disgusting

>>306154
I think society is way more disgusting than any of us.

We owe nothing to the world.

>>306161
Fully agree. I may be a worthless jack of shit, but humans are spawns of the Devil. I don't regret not taking part in their grotesque play.

>>305879
>I wish to go back to sleep. Sleep. I just wanna sleep and not take place.
it's so real. I feel that way many times lately. I also feel deeply alone when i wake up in the morning. idk what i have to do to feel better I tried so many things :/

>>305797
Do you have any coverage from welfare schemes or unemployment schemes or something, I hope you do, you used the "$" sign so your country is likely developed and I hope that you make it.

>>306282
if robots do everything we will reach levels of efficiency where most things would be free, there’s no need for universal basic income if all necessities are produce at near 0 cost. this is the only hope for humanity, the other option is simply civil war and mass extinction

>>306282
>>306291
Ironically once we reach that point is when hell on earth is going to start.
Despite what many people think in the modern age, not all is equal and not everyone is some global citizen.

The second we reach that level of automation is the second the forever wars start.
To cull the useless eaters, to keep the people in line that no longer have to worry about the rat race that kept them in trance, to fight with other countries for the resources needed to maintain this "utopia".

Conflict will be the way of life. 1984 style. They are already laying the groundworks for it with the internet lockdowns, IDs for internet use to ensure no freedom of information, major geofencing with the EU trying to make a Chinese firewall (I work at a major ISP and it's been in the works for a while now, pretty much every ISP knows about this), so is the US.
A second aspect is the AI nonsense that flooded the web, further smoke and mirrors in the golden cage.

You wont even know what is really happening. You already don't. I'm scared as fuck. Misery will be the new norm since that is the best way to control people in this post-scarcity world.

>>306292
Well at least i hope with the massive culling things will be peaceful

>>305800
hahah loved that pessimistic acceptance

>>306940
If you take a look at the top atheists on youtube you will quickly understand this belief most of the time goes paired with some typical arguments. An infatuation with science is common, often believing it the only way to understand reality. It was only a matter of time someone would summarize the main points in a book. Richard Dawkins is a turbo-atheist and while atheism has no scripture his book is a good representation of typical atheist arguments.

>>306947
According to the other guy this isn't atheism and "you're applying your particular belief set to atheism" but i will take a bite.
"We're only matter" is not what modern science claims, rather there exists a list of laws of physics expressable in mathematical language which all matter obeys. These laws themselves are immaterial. Basically all matter obeys the laws of gravity and electromagnetism, but these laws themselves are immaterial concepts only expressable in mathematics. You can make a similar argument where all living beings are formed through the principles of evolution, but this principle itself is an immaterial concept. Can you grasp the laws of physics or evolution in your hand or tell me where they are located? They surely are immaterial. Yet all living beings obey them. This is what I mean that atheism is filled with logical fallacies, and if they are being honest with themselves, what I just described is their impersonal God.

>>306951
Gravity and electromagnetism are properties of matter, which is also energy, an electromagnetic field is literally a microparticle oscillation like every wave that exists in nature. Gravity is how matter interacts with space, it bends space towards itself. There is no immaterial rule or intelligent design rather a very local and clumsy reality where deformed atrocities murder each other.

>>306953
human beings die because their body touches their passenger

I've been a Satanist forever. I avoid other satanists though. I've found a lot, in general I like the path I'm on. I've tried Orthodox Christianity, for 2 years. I like a lot from it, I suffered a lot but orthodoxy helped me be glad and not worry during it. But it's hard. I never got baptized I couldn't even after a year, the priest wouldn't let me.

It has useful insights. But don't get locked down and forced to defend ideas/people you normally wouldn't

>>306954
>>306958
Nigger

anyone know alternatives to lostallhope? They used to have that chart of methods, time, pain etc but removed it

>>306961
such waste

>>306957
>food literally is infinite
Food scarcity is a real problem, decades of fertilizers and pesticides combined with intensive farming and antibiotics have degraded the soil and put animals at risk of pandemics, we're one step away from a global food crisis.

>>306961
There is a website called Sanctioned Suicide which I used before I got banned. I must warn you the moderation and some of the userbase is absolute cancer and you will get easily banned if your post is even mildly "objectifying or degrading to succubi" or some other vague left-wing identity politics.

Unintelligent evolution put consciousness into a flesh body, normalfags don't feel this burden because they are like bugs they are fit to the evolutionary machinery.

I can't relate cuz I really like pooping.

I do hate having a physical body though, but mostly because meatspace is so cumbersome. Having to move around, all the tiny complexities of real life that make things a hassle, tripping, hitting myself against objects in my house, things falling out of my hand, spilling drinks… I also hate how vulnerable my body is, one poke with a sharp object and I'm probably dead, all the gooey stuff just leaks out.

I would much prefer to be a glowing orb of light or some shit, no physical body, just pure MIND. Maybe soon, after I finally rope.

I am incompatible with living on a very deep and fundamental level. I am 30 and I feel like human bodies after this burst of youth and vitality in the teens and twenties are just slow rotting flesh machines which aren't worth living in. To maintain this rotting machine you must waste away at some job for most of your existence. Why should I bother if I can just hang myself ?
You receive this psychological hostility from other humans with lies, gaslighting, petty torment etc. Why shouldn't I just leave ? Finally there is everyday life, everything is dirty, noisy, unpleasant. I can't say I'm unhappy that I am hanging myself.