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File: 1717919658512.png (601.81 KB, 800x784, 50:49, e1e5a5b93620f93f0e4594dd76….png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.292925[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

I would like to be with a being with whom I can share everyday moments, to have a being to worry about, in which I can capture the most beautiful part of my being, to whom I can show my vulnerable parts, express my deepest emotions, and show them really who I am. But who am I really? Even in an anonymous forum, I would say he is a great guy, who went through some things, but who despite everything never gave up, someone who always wants the best for others, and who has an optimistic vision even in the most difficult moments. hard And although in a certain way the above is not a lie, the reality is that there is an uncivilized being inside me, someone so disgusting and unpleasant that I don't even like to admit that we are the same person, and hypocritically, whether consciously or unconsciously. , I pretend it doesn't exist. But this is an undeniable reality, and although it is something that can be hidden, it is something that I would never share with anyone, much less voluntarily. I prefer to be a hermit secluded from all social contact rather than show this part of my being. I'm not going to lie to you, life alone is not the best thing in the world, and it has some associated problems, but it is not something completely bad either, and it helps to value things, self-esteem, one's own thoughts, and leave aside vain issues. like social norms, or what someone outside of us may or may not think of us.
141 posts and 13 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302843

>>302840
crysatl cafe is right around the corner.

 No.302851

>>302841
I grasp this on an intellectual level but I wish I could come to actually *feel* this level of revulsion towards sex. I hate even having the urge.

 No.302869

>>301830
good question

 No.302914

What has this chan come to?

 No.302927

>>302914
Could it be possible?! This old saint in the forest has not yet heard of it, that Wizchan is dead!


[Last 50 Posts]

 No.302925[Reply]

I lost a lot of money trading, worst part is:
I made it all back twice, and twice lost everything.
While I was winning I thought to myself, great finally there is something I'm good at, something that could uplift me from the deep hole I got stuck in for so many years, and then I got wiped, I might try again in few mounts, but it got me thinking, why even try?
Not even about trading or making money, no matter what I've tried over the years nothing ever sticks with me or works for me.
There was nothing in my life that I was ever good at, finally I thought to myself, this is it, it worked so good for me, maybe I'm not such a failure, maybe it is my calling, and what do you know? I fucked up like I did everything I've ever touched.

I'm lost, I feel empty inside, but there is no pain, some fainting panic, but that's it, I feel dark and empty inside.

I think the only thing that might make me feel better is something that I must get good at fast, something where I could easily measure and see progress, but I don't know what it could be.

P.S. I'll vent here for a while, yell into abyss, hope it works.

 No.302926

File: 1758149894452.jpg (102.7 KB, 828x827, 828:827, 1752883600196104.jpg) ImgOps iqdb




File: 1755710484083.jpg (156.91 KB, 1000x1000, 1:1, cover.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.302319[Reply]

Let's discuss strategies for getting rid of pessimistic thoughts. No negativity allowed in this thread.

I know this is a meme, but taking a shower can completely turn my mood around and make my worries go away, even if it's just for a couple of hours. Listening to uplifting and happy music is also very effective for me. Sometimes I have to force myself at first, but generally it changes my mood.

What are some things you wizs do to minimize depression?
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302351

Try drugs, like ketamine, that works for depression.

 No.302357

>avoid thoughts, images and situations that trigger your depression
>avoid browsing websites or watching content that triggers your depression
>isolate yourself from normies and minimize social drama
>find hobbies or skills to make progress in and pass the time
>invest in your inner world through daydreaming and tulpamancy
>quit your job and become a neet
>have an exit strategy ready in case it all becomes too much

 No.302922

>>302344
Cheater. Wait till you're 30

 No.302923

A succubus posted this

 No.302924

test



File: 1740506072353.jpg (106.8 KB, 400x540, 20:27, Luigi_Russolo_self-portrai….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.298319[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

This thread is for the discussion of the greatest misfortune in existence that is disease.

Healthy people are NPCs. They don't really exist. With disease comes the awareness of your body that your private hell and your true existence begins and hear the scream of everything. Pain teach you what it means to really exist. Disease's manifesto: to live is to suffer like a ragdoll while fate prisons you in the eternal hours pregnant with pain to cure of you from the sin of life.
116 posts and 13 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302888

>>300019
ouch



wear 100% cotton, and carry a portable neck fan.

also, a thermo bag full of servings of shaved ice wont hurt you

 No.302900

>>302887
the fuck is this supposed to do?

 No.302901

>>302900
there's a mentally ill kid going around the site

making nonsensical replies to posts

filled with weird invented words and phrases that don't make sense to anyone besides him, and appear to require some sort of context that can't be found anywhere in the previous posts



and he redditspaces it all

 No.302910

>>302697
>Ejaculatory Anhedonia/no libido, OCD and regular anhedonia. It probably doesn't seem very serious compared to some of the illnesses mentioned earlier in this thread but having a dick that doesn't work anymore is also hell on earth. I can't even enjoy a good fap and forget my worries for a bit, I'm not even allowed that little pleasure. Fuck this gay earth. OCD has also raped my pure conscience, and I can no longer enjoy things simply. it's a curse impossible to overcome, OCD anons will know the feel. I remember when it started for me
>I remember when it started for me

OK. When did it start? Also, what is your diet?

 No.302921


>>302900
1. try Muzak Orchestra works as your background music

2. try typing "luxurious 1960s music" on YouTube and then, get your headphones to enjoy the vibes.

3. It worked for me. A little. But that was a nice start. I bought a fancy 30pts set of multivitamin tabs later, which also seems to help a little. Step… by… step…

>>302901
You know, im not gonna fight that "mentally ill kid" moniker - I drink several cups of coffee daily, after all.


[Last 50 Posts]

File: 1754922301873.png (2.53 MB, 1600x1068, 400:267, alcohol.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.302164[Reply]

Does anyone here struggle with alcohol, or have managed to quit?

It used to be a good coping mechanism for me, but it seems the older I've gotten the worse it feels, and it's become detrimental to my health and the way I behave around people. Easily annoyed, constantly starting shit, tired all the time, strange pains. And I was still getting worse, fast.

This has been a wake-up call and I'm realizing I need to quit before it's too late. Though that's easy for me to say now when I'm still feeling bad, and I fear the cravings will come back strong, but I know I've got to try.

Curious to hear others experience with this.
24 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302905

I like drinking while the effect lasts but the hangovers are getting less and less worth it. Just makes me feel like a depressed emotional wreck for no reason.

 No.302913

>>302661
You are right about that. I built an insane tolerance from barely being able to handle 2 beers at 18 all the way to casually downing 12~15 a day 3 or 4 times a week. If i were to go for a record I could probably drink 24 beers in a 12 hour period and have a regular hangover. I drank 30 on my last weekend, trying to just drink 15 now between my 2 days off and nothing on the other days. Wish I could simply enjoy 1 beer after work per day and leave it at that.

 No.302916

File: 1758118554657.png (92.93 KB, 1054x1068, 527:534, liquidjew-tracker.png) ImgOps iqdb

i was drinking around 85 units a week on average for about five years. last year i decided to reduce and i’ve managed to get it down to about 50 units a week.

it’s still more than three times the recommended limit for men, but i try to stick to mostly 4.5% beer and wine now instead of spirits and 9% beers. i track every single drink in a spreadsheet, updating it each time i pour another one. slightly autistic but if you want to reduce intake you need to know exactly how much you are drinking and you need to do it honestly.

i actually felt happier and more relaxed when i was drinking heavily. i didn't really get any hangovers at all. now i feel a lot more stressed, and on days i don’t drink i get symptoms like a lump in my throat.

 No.302917

does anyone have any ALTERNATIVES to alcohol?

- weed edibles are OK but they're slow to work and don't give much euphoria
- kratom didn't work for me; i've tried multiple strains
- phenibut had almost no effect either and causes a very low mood afterwards

 No.302919

>>302917
korvalol


but its limited to Russia



File: 1756317327858.png (252.75 KB, 619x350, 619:350, IMG_0462.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.302510[Reply]

I fucking loathe being autistic, I fucking hate how I can have articulate thoughts in my head yet can only muster and spew out the same few fucking phrases irl because I’m caught off guard and don’t know what to say

I hate how pathetic I am, I’m so fucking clumsy, my hand coordination is awful. Im always dropping shit which only makes me look like more of a retard

Most of all I hate the way other people look at me, there two “looks” I get from people. The first is the pitiful one. They see how pathetic I am, how socially inept, awkward and harmless I am and take pity on me like they would with a dementia patient. The other “look” is the hateful/judgmental one. They assume due to my awkwardness, my uncanny demeanour, ugly face and lack of height that I’m some kind of freak/someone to be suspicious of. They look at me like I’m some kind of sex pest/serial killer when all I’m doing is just existing

I put in the effort, I workout every day, I eat well, I keep good hygiene, I try, lord knows I fucking try, but I have to ask what’s the point? It won’t change anything. I can’t cure this awful plague of the mind I was born with, I’ll never be accepted or even tolerated by normies so why make an effort? Why try in life and work hard when I don’t even get the slightest bit of respect from the people around me? Part of me wants to just stay in my room stuffing my face with junk food and playing vidya all day but if I did that I’d only be more miserable.

Any other wizards have this condition? If so how do you cope with it?

 No.302512

>Any other wizards have this condition?
Yeah, me and probably most of us.

>If so how do you cope with it?

I avoid going outside and being in any kind of social situations unless there is absolutely no other choice. This gives me some amount of peace from anxiety and depression so I can pursue my interests but I still get flashbacks of cringe memories and it makes me feel so awful and hopeless for a few seconds until I mutter "fucking kill yourself" out loud. I don't know why my brain does this or why acting out this tourette syndrome routine helps, but I've just learned to accept it.

I've stopped caring about the future or catching up with my peers long ago and I've just learned to get through life day by day and find whatever joy I can in my solitary hobbies. There is nothing you can do about it, so you might as well focus on other things. I guess the only hope for an autistic is that they become top 1% in their special interest and this allows them to have some semblance of a career and respect from others, but you have to have some genuine interest, something that genuinely tickles your autism and lets you do stuff that others find boring or tedious. Maybe you can be the next Tetris world record holder or the guy that makes youtube videos about an extremely niche subject or something like that.

 No.302513

No matter how much normal things I try to do and as normal I try to be, I'll always hear this phrase: "this guy is weird". I don't even know if I only hear it in my head or if people really say it most of the time. I do be having auditory hallucinations in the past, and it's always this: the weird guy. I can't do nothing against this. Even just refilling car wash water yesterday, I hear it from people coming along. How can I fucking be more normal than when changing fucking car wash water, like what in the hell.

 No.302514

The worst thing about being an autist for me is that no one ever respected me and never will.

 No.302543

>>302510
since im autistic i never get satisfied due to me being empty and numb from all the corruption from people. i just wish i lived in a different reality where i could start over again..

 No.302918

Yea, I became really unfriendly to people and dont bother even looking at people i dont know, especially succubi and succubi. I dont understand anymore how people get so friendly with strangers. succubi never had anything interesting to say, and now that I dont interact with them they say im a weird and awkward person for not wanting to interacting with them. I hate interacting with succubi especialy those in relationships, spewking to them is pure suifuel. I hate strangers.

I wish i lived in a clan so at least the people around me are related to me and can be more accepting of what I can provide knowing my autism except what strangers expect of you which is that you should be a jester, someone who telepathically knows what the other person would be interested in talking about and talk about worthless menial shit like sportsball.

I used to make some friends here and there as a kid and its always such a foreign thing to look back on. How the hell did I do that? People can be such vile creatures



File: 1746924765222.png (7.49 KB, 596x422, 298:211, images.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.300442[Reply]

The top 5 regrets of the dying according to an Australian palliative care nurse Bonnie Ware are:

-I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
-I wish I hadn't worked so much.
-I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
-I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
-I wish that I had let myself be happier.
29 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302733

>>300656
I like this attitude a lot. Thanks man.

 No.302868

>>300447
Cutting ties with family the most important, espcially if you can find a way to live without them. Animals are kicked out on their own for a reason, I fucking want to live for myself and be left the fuck alone already.

 No.302880

>>300447
>Yes, I went to college to network. Yes, that was wrong.
I WENT TO UNI FOR EVEN MORE STUPID REASONS - because my mother forced me to.

that will be my biggest regret ever.
I will always think everyone assumes a 6 feet tall man to be "wanting to fug by default". Therefore, silly succubi, instead of being boring - silently tossing be a .pdf file of a timetable - would start playing their succ games with me. This was the LAST thing I was going to an uni for - I only wanted to get a speciality in computers to avoid dealing with people's mind games on daily basis.


sorry

had to vent

 No.302881

>>302880
Basically, my life fell victim of "big guys are dumb" meme. I work at a literal warehouse now, all thanks to stereotypes. Eeeeesh.

 No.302915

-I wish I had started working earlier, better economy and I wasted a good 5 years. Also 2x rates for overtime was still around back then
-I wish I didn't try so hard to appear normal, wasted effort and no results
-I wish didn't try so hard in school and instead focused on real skills that could be used in the workforce
-I wish I took better care of my teeth, and health in general
-I wish I committed to learning languages, I would have been fluent by now



 No.301287[Reply]

>Last semester of uni
>Stuck on final assignments with no motivation
>Each day the deadline gets closer

I'm so close yet I can't get my act together
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302898

>>301287
I take it your picked wrong profession to study

should have mastered how to twist nuts instead

context: labor shortage is a bitch
context 2: I failed MASSIVELY as a student, different unis - to no avail. Yet somehow I keep it together as a warehouse worker with a decent pay - and I don't deal with *that* kind of social experience.

 No.302906

>>302898
Higher education does not work for everybody. You can try to force yourself through it by any means necessary but some are simply better suited to being told what to do, having and external schedule and so on. It's not a character failure. It's just how some are wired.

 No.302907

AI will replace midwits anyway.

 No.302908

>>302907
Midwits would do bettr as warehouse workers, iks de de oh fug

 No.302911

>>302906
OK, NOW I think there's something "special" with me. Because both my parents have fancy diplomas yet I am stupid enough to handle a semester.



File: 1757800578327.png (15.87 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.302844[Reply]

And say something about it if you want. I'm scared of my dad so I'm drawing a monster (him?)
I didn't know we could draw. Why isn't this done more often?
18 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302891

File: 1757970417145.png (51.09 KB, 768x1024, 3:4, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

they're not my parents

 No.302893

File: 1757997486386.png (26.8 KB, 512x512, 1:1, SelfPortrait.png) ImgOps iqdb

Made a SelfPortrait with vectors in 15 minutes after a busy 12 hours shift. Gotta love mondays, am I right?! God… I am so pathetic.
>>302844
>I'm scared of my dad
Why OP? If you dont mind giving an answer, Of course. I personally never had a "father" figure. So growing up was though, but I made it through. So I hope you make it too.
>>302870
I like this one, but I dont think the text is true anon. It will get better, you will learn how to handle it. To make amends and have more patience with yourself.

 No.302897

File: 1758020542513.png (5.94 MB, 1920x1080, 16:9, dlt.png) ImgOps iqdb

This is not me
i swear

 No.302899

File: 1758025407456.png (7.92 MB, 1920x1080, 16:9, Dr.png) ImgOps iqdb

>>302897
This me tho

 No.302902

>>302875
yeah you're right a rpg maker game with this style would be kewl



 No.301044[Reply]

I'm nervous because I've tried so many times and it never worked.

I recently worked alone on the backend of a course project, barely sleeping and also helping with the frontend. Before the deadline, my hands were shaking from anxiety and lack of sleep, which made my stuttering worse. Still, I finished the project (ASP.NET + Angular) and got 11 out of 12 points - almost a perfect score.

But our frontend guy only got 12 points for a beautiful cover, while I was fixing bugs, creating the backend and connecting everything via API. After all this, I was given even more assignments, and now I can't focus on my own projects. Everyone acts like they know what I should do, but I want to do what I want. I have a few personal projects, but they never moved beyond testing.

What frustrates me the most is the uncertainty - I never know if I will succeed. The chances of failure seem huge. The military pressure makes it worse - if I do nothing, I am sent to war (death sentence), or thrown out on the street, or harshly judged.

Thoughts of suicide used to come a few times a year; now it is almost every day. I do not want to live like this. I am too weak mentally to die, but I feel like I am just existing without hope. On top of that, I am burdened by old wounds and a burning desire to take revenge for all the humiliations I have suffered.

Also, I stutter. Most people don’t really care about it and just ignore it, which is actually good. But a few still mock me, including relatives, saying things like, “If you don’t like it, don’t stutter, or it’s embarrassing for me.”

 No.301045

>But our frontend guy only got 12 points for a beautiful cover, while I was fixing bugs
Humanity values beauty more than it values useless programming lines. Should have been an artist.

 No.302141

It's within your own mental power to remove these pressures.
You sound very young.
You're too caught up in the stress of school.
Remove yourself from the environment that is causing you all this pain, if only for a week or two, and hereafter re-affirm to yourself that you are more than what other people think of you. And in re-affirming this, make sure you really understand what you are inwardly saying.
Wrongly receiving a lower grade, not advancing in a given project, stuttering, etc – are all bothersome things surely, but they are in nowise great enough to warrant suicidal thinking.
Remember that you have things many many other people don't:
1. you are young
2. you are healthy (apart from stuttering, which really doesn't even qualify as a sickness and can also be bettered)
3. you are smart
4. you have a safe place to sleep
5. (in conclusion) you have no reason to feel the way you are feeling.

 No.302356

>having a job
There's your problem.

 No.302895

>>301044
>But our frontend guy only got 12 points for a beautiful cover, while I was fixing bugs, creating the backend and connecting everything via API. After all this, I was given even more assignments, and now I can't focus on my own projects. Everyone acts like they know what I should do, but I want to do what I want. I have a few personal projects, but they never moved beyond testing.

>But our frontend guy only got 12 points for a beautiful cover


He's probably "full-on assburger" about design too - don't waste your nerves on him. His "beautiful" cover probably also involves avoiding bullshit features with un-intuitive names - shit youll find in mediocre AIMP4 skins let alone wonky websites.



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