/dep/ - Depression

>>308772
sorry you're in the depths right now and it's hard (or impossible) to see a light at the end of the tunnel where you have relief.

Do you have fluctuations in this feeling are there days that somehow you feel back to normal, even if it's fleeting?

Do you want more questions, advice, or something in particular? I can say i relate to the vague yet pervasive existential dread you're experiencing, but i also know being in the thick of it is hard to listen to advice or anything.

Like the fact that there's a grain of truth in what people have said: "you'll be fine" - cus in a sense you got through yesterday's battle - you were technically fine. So what's really going on?

no one will help you
you can trust no one
normies are semi-retarded
the body is a parasyte feeding off the real you
isolation, distrust, paranoia and suicide are good things

It's as if you're crawling in your skin, yes? And the wounds… They will not heal, yes? Maybe go outside. Find something to hate that actually needs to be hated instead of hating yourself.

it'll go away in a few years. the torment never stays the same. something else will give you pain instead

>>308772
I wonder if your food, while tasty, lacks *wellness* which may do some shenanigans to your body, bullshitting you into stress response over some weird deficiency of some bullshit vitamin or microelement.

Rolling in groups will be your strength. Or at least loose social alliances… find people that can handle paperwork or tasks. That's how I found out I'm a great assistant but not great at completing tasks myself.

>>308831
> everytime somebody corrects me on something obvious that i should have known

hmm, can you tell us about these things you're supposed to know?

>>308836
What, so you can make fun of him?

can relate. advice: suffer better

>>308838
I am not like that. I want to understand well, i think he might be exaggerating

yeah well it's a little too warm to be honest. i don't normally have much awareness of things around me, but with all this heat and lack of air conditioning anywhere in my life it feels like… you know what it feels like. it's hard to move and i am absolutely not capable of thinking whatsoever

at 34, i have accepted that there is nothing left for me but to rot and pray my psych meds keep me sane enough to not go on a psychotic rampage. i will regret every opportunity i fumbled, every relationship i sabotaged for the rest of my miserable existence.

If they remade It's a Wonderful Life for modern times, it would just be George Bailey's job getting replaced by some indian guy from Blackrock. His wife would have met some other guy on tindr and the town would still go to shit anyway.

>>308810
Is your back okay?

never been so hopelessly depressed. its one thing to feel shit and at least hope for something, to have a potential route out. its another to get there only to lose it. like the train arrived at the platform but broke down 1/8th the way there. sometimes i think im the most miserable person in the entire world.

>>308843
I don't really deny any of this. And genes do play a significant role, including in the development of temperament and reactions to traumatic social experiences, as in the OP. But how accurately can you predict something like this? Even if you're neurotic, you can certainly learn to cope with this. And you're unlikely to predict the success of the learning until you try.
Genetic testing can reveal a lot, but we still can't predict someone's fate 100%. Moreover, genes reveal more about predispositions.

Has anything really bad happened to any of you? Can you tell?
Because it happened to me. Probably the worst one possible.

>>308846
You first.

>>308846
>Probably the worst one possible.
i doubt it, but tell me

>>308844
>we still can't predict someone's fate 100
you don't need 100%, 98% is enough. the other 2% account for some physics shenanigans that aren't predictable mathematically, such as a car starting to skid and hitting you to death (the good outcome).

how does heat affect your wageing? it probably sounds inane, but i really have a very hard time moving when it's too hot and i absolutely can't think for the life of me. no matter how hard i try i just can't adjust. this affects my affairs in a very bad way.

>>308764
>23
You are very young. Things can get so much worse.

>>308820
>it probably sounds inane
It only seems "inane" because the kikes have programmed you to think that way. They don't care if your body is destroyed as long as they get value from it.>I'm only 23

>>308829
damn kikes and their eugenics.

>>308820
Work has a habit of running the place at 74-79 degrees all year round for us (they have commercial AC, the bosses just never leave their 68 degree offices and don't care). That means I just work slow and always carry a small piece of equipment to 'look busy' in case they do wander out of their cushy towers.

I would recommend a technical sales gig. All my co workers detects the autism, and gave the natural reaction normies gave to autists, especially the wom*n and feminized "men". But fortunately I managed to held on to this gig. Overall a very comfy pseudo NEET job. You need to make rather frequent visits to customer, which paradoxically I can do really since without any lingering personal attachments, it appears I have internalized such interactions the way a gamer approach a conversation simulator.


I might even say I do be better in a sense than some of my co-workers in building relationships with customers, for some reason the opposite is happens when it comes to customers, I could shut my mouth most of the time, merely picking the correct conversation options, and they just seem to naturally like me for some reason.


The ultimate perk of this job is technical conversations blend with a bit of a personal touch increase that affinity bar as well if not more than casual conversation. Anyway, as long as you do reasonably ok to maintain your accounts and keep up appearances, you should be ok.

Anyway, you do need to accustomed yourself to replying to messages confidently, and drive to places. Which is comfy, I can listen orthodox saints/ schizotube/ crabtube/ history-geopolitictube/ 40k tube on the way. A lot of decision making responsibility fell to you, but this is still managable, as long as you're fine with management, they were the ultimate fell guy if things go wrong.

Since you are basically your own boss day to day, its more forgiving for neurodivergents. The chanllenges of a white collar job for adhd is still there, but you have more room to mitigate these.

Tried to convert to christianism 2 times after reading the Bible just to give some meaning to this life but after some internal strife my mind said nope, I just don't see what would be the point of so much suffering in the world being created just for muh testing, if another human killed your family and claimed that he's testing your soul would you take it kindly? Because that's exactly what happens in the book of Job after satan suggests it to god, the book was likely written by an atheist that hated religion because you can clearly see a change of style in the second half of it where Job just bends over and takes it, that was an addition by jewish priests. My point is if a god was responible (or allowed) for all the killing, raping, torturing, etc., in the world I'd rather go to hell

>>308340
Nah it means that anyone who insists my bad experience is actually somehow good is bullshitting

>>306451
>tempered administrator

Yeah, like one who would actually feed 5000 people with 3 huge bluefin tunas, ergo, with three fishes.

>>308341
Hold on, so Job is a real name?
(Remins me of Paradise Cracked videogame)

>>308341
Now consider that you've been primed and taught that all your life subconciously and it's not actually you making that decision, it's something you've been subtly programmed to think, and to think it's your own idea.

Turtles all the way down.

>>308728
>>308730
I’ve written this before somewhere on the boards of other fora, but I’ll repeat it here as I think it has some worth in sufficing the truth:

Judaism “works”, that is — it is psychologically effectual — because the entire system is rooted in trauma conditioning. I would even go so far as to say that Jewishness or Yiddishkeit (yiddish for jewishness) is properly speaking a series of codified trauma reflexes affixed into the receiving mind at an age when the mind cannot make critical sense of what it is learning. Here’s an adumbrated list showing my thinking:

Circumcision: learned trauma reflex

Exodus (where evil goyim are persecuting you): learned trauma reflex

Holocaust (which we can agree here without any charge of anti-semitism was/is a dramatized historical event): learned trauma reflex

Contemptible goyim who hate you causelessly: learned trauma reflex

Yirat Ha’Shamim (hebrew for “fear of the skies/heaven”, the essential underpinning point of their “education” system, if you can call it that): obvious learned trauma reflex

Mesirah (the halachic precept that is the reflexive antitype of a mafia code enforcing punitive measures against jews who inform on jews to goyish authorities): learned trauma reflex

Kashrut (hebrew for propriety, meaning obviously properness in one’s dietary practices): learned trauma reflex that like circumcision binds the mind of the believing jew into a state of fear and self-chosen exclusion.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>308744
interesting take

>>308744
The problem of all religion and cultures is tribalism, bitch attention whore behaviour and absolute self importance with late victimism.
All of these things lead to shit nationalism or destruction of self identity or individual identity into the power of political power like "them" against "us"
There's no more "you" just Us.
This allow tribalism and identity identification without reasoning.
Thing like Jew or Nazi or gay or lesbian or Kekguy or Wiz or Crab lead to absolute total acceptante and reduction of Human condition to a artificial tag like these mask or identity or tribals structure, absolute destroying individuality and Human condition.
A mere simulation of ideal forms that never achieve a psychalystic form in the world of matter.
This is the pure manifestation of eucledian logic in modern world, an antinatural thing that lead of destruction of human condition if it got into power or even in the condition of democracy or totalitarian scheme. Its not about diversity, race, racism, inclussion or pride. Its not about nationalism, religion or political ideas. Its about power in the costume of identities.
There's no middle or "no" or "maybe" just the "this is this and its all".
Non-eucledian logic can turn you into a more human and healthy behaviour against this new artificial robot existence of retarded monkey trowing shit against each others based in stupid identities or "i that thing or" "i good and you bad".
When you achieve non-eucledian logic mindset, you achieve a shield against extreme stupid ideas and can get a big panorama of the real existence from matter world.
That the big "Maybe" in the power of human side, this maybe is the ego-death and dual mind in favor of human side against the robots of the future.
Bacause life and human is a process and not a rigid line of tribal and social machinery.

>>308678
why even care what happens with your stuff

I don't think it's absolutely necessary, it depends if you want them to know about something or not. It can be useful if you want them to do something specific after you die, like cremating your dead body, or not sharing the cause of your death to anyone. It's also a good way to say what you were afraid of telling others when you were alive, maybe telling everything you hate about someone or how your parents failed at raising you, etc.
>>308675
Based.

>>308714
>>308709
IIRC those suicide hotlines used to exist back in the payphone days.

Too bad you cannot realistically find a payphone these days but some are still out there

>>308714
They only exist as a weapon to screen out desperate people who could do unpredictable harm to the owning class.

The intent was never to help you. As someone macabrely described above, they will even hang up on you right as you are about to end your life once their 12 minute allocation for you is used up.

The only way they will stay on the line longer is if they suspect you might lash out against property or third parties so they can report you, or in extreme cases hold you on the line long enough so you can be triangulated, geolocated and swatted.

>>308731
I know they were dirty and expensive but payphones strangely seem to have soul and character to me. Smartphones are so boring.

no they suck, i called one once and they sent the cops to my house and they drove me to the psych ward.

Its pretty useless

The queues are always stupidly long too, i have sometimes had to wait hours just for some miserable lady to pick up and give me "motivational poster" ass advice

>>308800
I once realized I hate using celly for the Internet surfing for a reason. Once I realised I just want toboth blast my radio and watch some educational/"EduTaiment" video at the same time, my life has shifted for the best.

I probably should get a shover radio also.

I reckon that's exactly why people buy "bone conductivity headphones" - you basically can use they along with your earbuds

For the 1% people reading this, i hope you become successful in your life.

lowkey the best part of imposter syndrome is the whole song ??

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." — Mark Twain

kindness is just a lets-team-up signal. if either side doesn't really mean to team up then it's wasted. there's also no guarantee either side won't lose interest in future which means kindness only lasts as long as both parties are in need of teammates.

>>308563
I also read they can put a tube in your nose permanently and push food down your throat with a pump.

I really regret postponing my attempt in april, now it's june and I'm still here

>>308564
They don't need to. They can give you enough proteins, fats and vitamins through IV injection indefinitely.

Any ideas on how to commit suicide by hanging? I wonder what sort of rope, knot, techique and place would be the best. I heard that with a good arrangement you can snap your neck and die painlessly, but honestly since it seems to involve so much technique I tend to think that just regular hanging could be better. I'm only afraid of fucking that up too and ending up as a veggie or suffocating for two hours before passing out.

>>308806
I have experience in this. I've successfully killed myself several times via hanging. You need to read "The Peaceful Blackpill Handbook", "The Art of Not Living", and "Fun With A Razorblade by Big Gay Andrew Loomis". Once you do that you can ask ChatGPT for the best rope and height configuration for your IQ. Then you'll need to apply for a suicide license and pray to g*d that your therapist hasn't told your psychiatrist anything that would suggest you're only suicidal for a reason that SSRIs could instead cure. There is 0% chance the Demiurge will let you die if you don't hang yourself exactly as prescribed. You'll end up as a vegetable, or worse, a fruit.