/dep/ - Depression

I don't know, I'm 24 years old and basically I haven't done anything but stay in my room. I'm usually on the computer and reading books, although lately I've let myself go and just been eating snacks and using Steam. Being flooded with strange thoughts, I've tried to write to you all, but the writings are even stranger. I also know I'm very slow because I'm contemplative, and in general, I find it hard to adapt to anything or do anything. I don't know how to do anything particularly well, and feeling like everything outside is such a rushed, chaotic, dangerous world… I don't know, it scares me. I feel worried about my future. Although I feel good walking in the woods, I don't even know why I'm writing this. I don't know, like many other things, I just wanted to write it, maybe with a hidden reason inside me. I haven't been feeling well lately, although it's been an interesting and incredible trip. I'm sleepy. Hugs to everyone, I love you all.

Post here if you don't have enough to say for a new thread, but it's too depressing for the crawl thread.

Previous:
>>306157

Would they? I've been thinking.

My mom is already LDAR'ing due to the debt and she's already lost one child, so I think either by suicide or stress she would die. My dad? He didn't seem to care that much when my stepbro died, but I am his firstborn. I don't know really. My little brother would probably just turn into me. That's my only concern. Everyone else, would cry for a day maybe.

I thought that at 44 years old this stuff wouldn't get at me anymore but I was wrong.

All those cute couples rollerblading. Young mothers pushing strollers and smiling. People laughing in the park. People playing soccer in the field. Everyone is so happy, so content with their lot in life. They are so well-adjusted to this life.

People talking in upbeat tones. Groups of people socializing, laughing, smiling.

Everywhere I went today it was like this.
Its amazing how easy life is when you are neurotypical. It's like everything falls into place without much struggle and effort. You are always pre-programmed to get the most out of life without having to do anything special to make it happen.

What is everyones thoughts on leaving a suicide note? Is it necessary for closure for others? A way to get everything off your chest before you ack? Or just a waste of time?

I have been staring at my .60 cent retirement plan, and am not sure if I would just like to go out and just have everyone guessing. Or if its right to leave a note. Most of my family thinks I am useless or lazy. However they have no introspection on that they are the ones who raised me.

Would you trade autism/trauma/neurodivergency/lifelong depression/emotional neglect/whatever else that makes you a visitor of this forum to physical disability?

like you wouldn't be socially and emotionally stunted but instead didnt have one leg? or you were deaf? or blind? would you take that instead?

Ok i gonna give you some advice around hypnosis and mind (the thread of magick tech have some info books and etc around this)
>how its works?
Just imagine a kid waking up by her mom/father/tutor in the morning yelling out him with insults while maybe hit the kid, this kid will have the day ruined maybe with bad humour and negative ideas (imagine this everyday, of the childhood) and it will feel like a total piece of shit, the other personal thing of this kid doesnt matter for now but get the outcome.
now compare this to a kid waking up by her mom/father/tutor with a warm -good day, today is a good day!- in a soft loving tone voice while try to maybe hurry the kid a little or help the kid to wake up (or even try to wake up the kid with more time to not hurry you too much)

These two kids in the waking up (even adults) are incredible suggestionable, just imagine who of the two will have a more good outcome in the day, and even in the next day if the first phrases they listen when wake up and enter in the mind are like
-Wake up little piece of useless meat-shit asshole fuc…! hit and yell the kid*-
and
-Good morning, honey, kiss in the forehead while some family touch* its a warm day, wake up you need to go to prepare for school!-
You get it?

>Mind Hygiene
Try to no listen to sad music, sad pop music etc (lana del rey, billie eilish and etc)
Try to no listen to sad music before bed/before sleep/when wake up
Try to no listen to music that trigger rumiation or bad sad ideas, even before bed
Try to no listen sad music when you just wake up (you still can listen happy energy music)
Try to no rumiate before sleep or have bad sad ideas bacause maybe you can wake up with that idea in mind in the wake up and this maybe can ruin your next day
Try to no watch sad or deppresive things in media, or get straight out of the media and ignore it
Try to listen to happy energy music in some activies to make a constant trigger for you when you need it (the same sad trigger of music can be made with a happy trigger of energy happy music)
Try to NO have negative ideas or rumiation when you just wake up (next tip explain it why and how to use this in a positive way around hypnosis) and if you got into it, try to use a reality check technique later i mention
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

I read up on the best ways to do it, charcoal seemed one of the better ones so I went with that. Bought it a few days ago and I've been dwelling on wether I should light the fire. I think I'll finally do it, I can't really find any hope in continuing on anymore.

You will still be stuck browsing this thread in 2026 edition

previous>>296811

Does anybody else live with family who have seemingly not a care in the world to be careful with your belongings?? It's incredibly annoying and often blood boiling. I have a lot of collections, and attempt to make models like tanks/planes/warhammer stuff and quite often my parents will "inspect" my room for whatever retarded reason and often break several items. I internally call my dad "The grabbler" he picks up delicate items with his full fist, all fingers perfectly alinged - like a special ed kid grabbing a pencil. As you can imagine, this often BREAKS anything even remotely fragile.

This has been an issue I've dealt with my entire life. I'd have my pokemon cards on a playing mat in my room, parents barge in and walk right on them despite them being able to walk around it, and I wasn't even in the way. Or other times where they would grab my school work with greasy/chocolate coated hands and get stains all over it. Also they love coughing and sneezing without any attempt to cover their mouths. You will see spit and mucus stains EVERYWHERE in the house. Especially on the shared computer screen, utterly disgusting.

I have tried everything to get them to be less dirty and more respectful and mindful but they just don't care, my mother is literally too stupid to understand, my father just doesn't care. I don't really want to move out either as it's not a possibility on my wages unless I want to live in a car or next to criminal social housing with even more disgusting people.

The list goes on and on about all the dirty behaviour they get up to. I might even jot down some greentext stories if I'm bored later