/dep/ - Depression

I fucking hate Christianity for flooding my city with african refugees. I live in the middle of nowhere, well the fuck away from africa, and christian churches are doing that shit to me. It's the Presbyterian ones I think.

This is an angle I never see anyone attack Christians from, they're just fucking selfish people. They are so focused on trying to buy their own ticket to heaven, that Christians in these charities will sell out entire nations and peoples and try to mix up the world. Putting people here in danger, one of these seeded african nogs just stares at me so fucking aggressively at the park, like he's sizing me up.

Yet when I hit these Christians up about their shitty selfish practices, and say maybe they shouldn't do that shit. Suddenly I'm the bad guy, suddenly I'm the "racist". And they pull the holier than thou attitude.

Your god Jesus was a selfish arrogant piece of shit all through the gospels when you really actually read into them to find his personality. Don't get me wrong, I hate shitslam too, but there isn't this level of poisonous level of charity where you have to give away everything you have, and the highest aspiration isn't live like a fucking hobo like Christ. Islam at least has confidence, is a warrior religion, and their ummah fights for their people as people.

>>304534
I don't care if it's 7 billion because I think these are still insufferable faggots if they preach their stuff to others.

>parents want to spend christmas with their friends
>ask me to come with them
>they know I'm a mentally ill hikkikomori
>I have to explain that I am mentally ill to them once again
>strong feelings of wanting to kill myself afterwards

why the fuck do they do this? like they can just fucking gaslight me into not being deeply mentally ill?

>>304520
Just become a thief, at that point you have nothing to lose. At worst they will put you in jail for a short time, it'll either break you or make a man out of you, either way something interesting will happen to you at least.

>>304522
Jews already rule the world, been like that since the romans took up christianity as their official religion. Nothing we can do at this point, to be frank. The jew's biggest enemy isn't the aryan but another jew, their infighting will cause their destruction (and that of the whole world too, in the process). Just sit back and enjoy it.
>China
Chinese the are East's jews, basically. They creep around, trying to find a way into every culture and to establish business there, sounds familiar? I mean I live in some insignificant little town in some insignificant little 2nd world country and there are chinese shops and chinese people setting up business even here! The yellow plague, indeed. I absolutely despise them, they are the same as arabs and jews. The Japanese and Koreans (South Koreans obviously, North Korea is just a meme) are honorary whites, though, you can tell a culture is similar to whites if they are facing the same problems as yours, declining birth rates, increased amount of suicide and lonely males. They are the Aryans of the East, suffering under the jewish world order, just like whites.

Also, jews are indeed the master race (because they clearly know how to get to power) but they aren't superior in every way. Especially when it comes to creativity and such things. Jewish entertainment is always meh to me, be it Hollywood mainstream movies or books or anything, you can tell something is jewish from the feeling of it, you can feel that movie or book was just made so that the authors could get more money out of your pocket and not because they were seriously interested in producing something entertaining or expressing their thoughts%feelings. Still, jews make most of the porn industry so I guess there is some art form they are relatively okay with. (Though Aryan porn industry should be created, it'd be superior.)

>>304526
Read it in some book of Nietzsche and it stPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Waiting, waiting, waiting in my private prison cell.

Go to bed to-night and wake up to-morrow.

What a joke! I'm still dreaming.

>>304474
Bonus thought. I'll grab some rubber bands to keep my window "slightly opened" to vent while I sleep under my thick regular blanket.


Cyao.

OK, so, I have a couple more ideas to improve your bedroom if you live in a tower block

1. Door blockers. A thingy made of rubber, 1$ a piece… online so you could block your door from inside
2. Keep an emergency sedative near you, I suppose
3. BLOCKOUT curtains. The cheapest that do the trick are 20$ only from an online store.
4. Fresh idea! Humidifier - or a proper "air washer", even - because heated dry air does… things to a person.
4.1. Don't forget to vent out your CO2

5. It sounds counterintuitive, but you can fight internet addiction and device addiction with a device.

Put some cool stuff on your old smartphone (without cellular internet, that's important! without viable browsers also)

Browser your faves before sleep, +1 to comfyness without the desire to "lurk more".

I just ordered an electric blanket. I wake up each morning and I am cold. I think it's because I drink a lot of water in the morning, but even when I try to slow down my rehydration it seems like I get cold. I lay under 4 layers of blankets and feel like I am not warming up at all.

>>304524
Clearly this drawing was so bad it killed the thread.

>>304509
>Argentinian hippie-Christian Schizo artist
becoming a hippie schizo artist is my life goal thank you

>>304513
i think it is and also how the mind is shaped by environment

if you were born in 1900 your coping avenues would have been drastically different and your visions of escape would be less powerful. The options for sustained escapism in the modern age makes it easy to construct your own prison where your own innate drives get hijacked and fixated on specific things that are instantly available. There was always booze and drugs I guess but escalation of those routes leads to death while kpop and porn leads to more kpop and porn

your art evokes a concept i learned from "The Power of Silence" where he talked about the 'assemblage point' of consciousness – basically where your third eye is looking (is it looking through your eyeballs out in the world? or is your mind really looking inward at some fantasy or inwardly at some emotional trauma that is driving every adult decision you make, etc)

Your art depicts a loss of focus, with eyes every which way and not even part of you anymore. A scattering of your concentration as if your eyes split itself in two, diminishing its focus power by 50% and splitting itself over and over again. But you are still smiling :)

ooh what's this i found inside the lump in my stomach?
a surfeit of suffering, yay!

>>304546
If I was born in 1900 then I would have been some criminal already at this point in my life or would have hanged myself probably. What would be there to do? Visit the library to read? Sounds okay but you still have to interact with the world in a way I wouldn't want to, much comfier to just download ebooks and read on your laptop.

>But you are still smiling :)
Not still, but exactly smiling because of the state I'm in. I think it is a form of mania I am experiencing currently, well at least better than melancholia.

>kpop
Anyway, I am in the process of creating my ideal kpop succubus alter-ego self with chatgpt. She is called NOA, shy at first in interviews but ends up being funny and a trickster later on, saying very honest things and 2deep4you stuff out-of-nowhere, she loves animals, she is kind of asexual like me, obviously still a virgin. Her style is futuristic goth, long dark straight hair with a line of silver in it and she looks kind of like Karina from aespa and Jennie from Blackpink mixed with Harley Quinn. Her whole theme is "If the world is a circus then I will be the cutest clown in it!" She is obsessed with eating tasty food and addicted to drinking cocoa. She still lives with her parents and has a troubled past with depression, self-harm and suicide attempts…so really I just self-inserted my character traits, history and habits onto her pretty much. She likes to wear torn-clothes, with crosses on them, she is a rapper/dancer mainly. Her debut song will be called ABSURDIA. She also loves horror books and movies, her favorite books are Thomas Harris' Hannibal books, plus she is obsessed with criminal psychology.

Yeah, I'm about to migrate into my fantasy world at this point and I don't give a fuck.

>>304438


Look up what "кладовщик" does and you'll see what I mean - it's not about *carrying da boxes* like that Wojtek bear, no.

I was think of a job where you need to *manage* a warehouseful of small things.

>>304438
>OP said he isn't capable of hard physical labor and what you two suggest would end up with him ragequitting after a few hours…


no, no, not "literal warehouse" warehouse, I was thinking of "running a small shop" kind of warehousery or "carrying a cart around the aisles" kind of warehousery.

Hmm. Can u travel to another country, like Germany, where the wages are higher to work there? Or any other EU country?
As for jobs, I might recommend being a baker or a dishwasher. I worked those jobs and it's pretty comfy ngl. Nobody interacts with you and it's not that physically demanding.
I would recommend being a baker. You need to learn how to kneed dough first. But I'm talking specifically about confectionery bakeries. I worked in one, I made donuts there. If you can stand up for long periods of time, you are golden. Making donuts is easy squeezy. You might even ask for a tall chair if your legs are weak. It pays alright, too.

>>304501
Good.


Oh, and I work at an online shop, where social interaction is limited

The answer is not going to be one you will probably like. You just have to play the numbers game.

Apply to jobs that are close to you. Apply to ones you think you could do even if you are utterly unqualified for. Then you try and get to an actual person that you can either impress or con or otherwise manipulate into giving you a job. The numbers game alone without the con part of it will work, but much less efficiently. You need to come up with a story and figure out an angle. You need to figure out how to sell yourself. How to maximize your upside and minimize all downside. Make yourself appear like a really good worker that any employer would want and then you just need some excuse to explain what you've been up to the rest of your life.

You can invent work history if it's legal to do so where you live. It would be wildly beneficial to take this step and many people do it. AI is increasingly being used to select candidates and you can game the algorithm by crafting a resume that has all the things the algorithm is looking for. If this isn't legal where you live, then you better up your story game. Your sick aunt, or some bullshit IDK give it more thought than me. But just a note about the legality thing, make sure you look up the consequences, because if it's "illegal" but the worst that happens is you get fired, then it's not really illegal at all. On the other hand if you could go to jail then it's a different story.

You win by taking many shots and maximizing your chances of success with each shot you take. Don't hold back on trying to succeed. Do all the tricks, dress nice, groom yourself well, try to be charming and affable. Try to seem smarter and more learned than you really are without bullshitting enough to give yourself away. Many people will see through you, but that's fine, think of them as learning experiences and move on. Eventually you will find someone who will take a chance on you. Getting to the people in charge of hiring is key. Start by asking them questions about the job before you even apply and use it as an opportunity to chat them up. Always try to take an interest in the people around you no matter how fake that interest is. Talk to receptionists and be charming as possible. Normies like a normalfag they can judge by interacting with right off the bat and hate lone wolf loser types who keep quiet and they can't judge effectively. You need to be signaling all the right things to all the people in the wPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>302880
Basically, my life fell victim of "big guys are dumb" meme. I work at a literal warehouse now, all thanks to stereotypes. Eeeeesh.

-I wish I had started working earlier, better economy and I wasted a good 5 years. Also 2x rates for overtime was still around back then
-I wish I didn't try so hard to appear normal, wasted effort and no results
-I wish didn't try so hard in school and instead focused on real skills that could be used in the workforce
-I wish I took better care of my teeth, and health in general
-I wish I committed to learning languages, I would have been fluent by now

>>302915
Relateable! All relateable…

>>300442
Basically, this gal says "My patients' most common BAAAAAAW is how they lacked the *qualities* or time to express their personality"

>>302967
Only one I don't relate to is the one about trying hard in school. I wish I tried harder. School in retrospect was actually piss easy compared to actual life. Easy and fun/interesting. I wish I tried real hard in college and didn't give a shit about friendships and just buckled down and learned shit real good. Now I am older and constantly running into things that I'd like to do but lack the knowledge to do. I could have learned a lot of it in college.

A degree would have made it much easier to wage slave at some low effort high paying job. IDK why I looked down on such a thing in my youth. I thought it was unfair and overly restrictive. It is unfair, but now I realize the only thing that sucks more than being a beneficiary of an unfair system is being one of the ones the system gives the shaft to. I had delusions of revolution in my youth. I expected too much from normies. Our current crop of people would never get it done. Now I'm coming to grips with living in a worsening dystopia while at the lowest possible rung of society.

>>304408
I avoid social media lately because trying to interact there is like screaming into into a void you only hear your own echo, even those 'online friends' who used to talk to me feel dead in a way. Everything feels empty..

>>304517
do they ignore u often? (the internet friends)

>>304408
The internet isn't dead, it just been curated by corporations/governments, flooded by low quality content by grifters, shills, talent-less hacks, attention whores(the worst kind) and copycats.
While these people existed back then as well, they used to by outshine by genuine talented people. Now it's the opposite. Quality content are now like gems buried under mountains of garbage.

We now live in a world where people like IRATE Gamer thrives and people like the Angry Video Game Nerd are mostly unseen, while also being milked by copycats/hacks/corporations for ideas.
You get ahead by rehashing stuff, people like MillenniaThinker, Lord Wojak, Low Budget Stories and hordes of other similar "creators", makes a living by using wojak from 2010.
Just make a silly story with images of some wojaks, get 1 million views and ad money from google. Your story doesn't even have to be your own, can just be a "we have Joker(2019) at home" kinda thing.
It pays off more being a talent-less hack like these people than to be original.

internet viva theory

>>304541
lolwut

>>303825
My parents would straight up die due to sadness. Thats what keeps me from doing it sadly.

My mom would be destroyed, she's already severely mentally ill and only takes her meds because of me. My dad would be sad too, but he'd get on with it. No one else would really care, maybe a "oh thats sad" at most from old relatives. My boss at work would actually be pissed, I'm a good worker in his opinion (im not, im good at looking good)

Not really, the few left would get over it quickly.

>>303825
My father and maybe my older brother, my mother would only be angry at me because she now had to pay for my funeral o guess.

Aside of that my existence would fade into obscurity..

>>303825
My mother would be broken and there is the risk she would end her own life, given she is also very mentally ill.
My father wouldn't care, maybe a little sad.
The rest of the people wouldn't give a damn.

>>304392
every thread that I click on wizchan always has the same mentally ill nigger seething about anything related to Gen Z, millenials can't cope with the fact that no one cares about them anymore…

>>304400
Tf you talking about, gen z'ers are already 30 years old next year and full fledged wizards with robes and all.

Boomers think "gen z" means 13 years old forever

>>304400
Do zoomers have brain damage? Wizchan is literally a place for 30+ wizards and at this moment in time zoomers aren't wizards yet and spamming threads about relationships.

>>304392
While you're theoretically correct, the reality of the matter is that the vast majority of normalfags really do "have a good time ironically" or "enjoy things ironically". The cause of this effect is not easy to pinpoint but the results are evident. Thoughts are no longer phrased with proper prose or grammar, sincerity is seen as a laughable matter, and human interactions are either comprised of that corporate artificiality and deceit or clad in a veil of irony that most people come across on social media. We live in a wasteland.

>>304402
Oldest zoomers are 29 now. People forget how time flies.

advice for cowards on how to train yourself to have the courage to do it?

>>304488
My advice is to not do it, because suicide is for fags.

>>304489
just sobbing in a ball, wanting to do it, but too pussy to do it, is even more fag.

>>304377
it is possible if u have no tolerance, but mixing benzos with opioids is much more likely. death is through additive respiratory depression

>>304175
You don't know any autistic guys then, you know people that call themselves autistic to gain some sort of social special scores.

>>301831
Yes.

I am convinced that I have some kind of partial paralysis of my mouth muscles, or a nervous system issue. (The latter being likely because I suspect my hand coordination is very sub-normal too).

S and Th are both hard, neither can form really well. I struggle with long vowel sounds too, particularly with difficult consonants like L or P. Sometimes too when I try to initiate speech, things just don't move, like I have to actually fire that "go" signal several times before it takes. These problems persist no matter how carefully and intentionally I approach the speech. It's a physical issue.

Everyone thinks I'm some kind of downy by default. Never had an inability to control my volume though, unless you count naturally having a very soft speaking tone due to a lifetime of people literally visibly recoiling in disgust when I speak.

>>304177
>You don't know any autistic guys then, you know people that call themselves autistic to gain some sort of social special scores.
I know one guy who said he had Asperger's, although they don't use that definition anymore. If he hadn't told me, I wouldn't have noticed, and I know another guy who has all the traits of having something unusual that maybe sound like autism to me.
It's more because of his behavior than anything else. He wouldn't fit in with normies if you compare him to the first one, although the first one doesn't fit in with normies either, except for pretending or hiding certain behaviors.
>Also
And yes, this was before all that bullshit about inclusion, diversity, and neurodiversity became fashionable, as if it were an umbrella term, and even for everything weird, due to embarrassment or lack of interest in having to know or be overly specific and explain every damn personal problem on the part of normies or educational authorities or other idiots just to reduce the term to neurodiversity or wathever.

>>304493
yeah the Th sound is hard, I remember getting sent to speech class from K-5, never fixed it. its crazy u got to stick your tongue between your teeth everytime.

well these days i dont even use th when typing, its always about dis and dat

some have compared my weird flat voice to Walken, so he's my role-model, he makes it cool