/dep/ - Depression

You always make threads of "I will never be pretty enough", "I will never have a job because I am ugly", "I am horrible :(". Everything related to physical appearance, and complexes. The truth is already unpleasant, and pathetic that men , and especially chaste men, give importance to something as trivial as appearance.

hello wizneets, anyone been kicked out before? im leaving today. gonna just stay in a hostel on neetbux and drink alcohol or something

My brother exhibits the same behavior as I did at his age and it just makes me miserable and depressed to see it, someone ending up like me, sloppy, low motivated, half brain working, and no aspirations to life. It's forcing me to relive my past, to see someone like that. With beautiful eyes and a strong personality of a manager to grow up to be me. It's already over for him, he is 14 and already the light of life is just gone. Another porn addicted anger issued soulless husk to the calling of this shitty existence of life. I don't care if eugenics goes against ethics, THIS IS UNETHICAL. to allow "nature take it's course" to ruin so many children at a young age because a couple of dysgenic fucks decided to hump like niggers unprotected. Even my brothers speeches are slurred half fast mumbling like mine.

But today is sunny and it's been screwing up my mood lately, more depressed than ever than in the winter or cloudy days. That's going to be a fun few summer months to embrace.

Death of the Uncool - End of the Wizards V

Watching Geekdom get absorbed into the monoculture over the last decade (and then some) has been a pretty demoralising experience.

Part of the process of commodification, streamlining and assimilation of geek culture into the all-consuming monoculture, is distortion and erasure of the original.

"These would be the successive phases of the image:

1 It is the reflection of a basic reality.

2 It masks and perverts a basic reality.

3 It masks the absence of a basic reality.

4 It bears no relation to any reality whatever: it is its own pure simulacrum.

In the first case, the image is a good appearance: the representation is of the order of sacrament. In the second, it is an evil appearance: of the order of malefice. In the third, it plays at being an appearance: it is of the order of sorcery. In the fourth, it is no longer in the order of appearance at all, but of simulation."

I'm probably using Baudrillard wrong, but I think we're either between phase 2 and 3 or on phase 3. We're at the point where we have "gamers" who don't like videogames as the faces of videogames.

As Wizards, do you think we suffer a lot more than most people? Recently, I've been having antinatalist thoughts that all humans and animals were born to suffer, and that everyone probably suffer to similar degrees no matter how shit or awesome their lives are.

I used to think most people have much better lives than me, because they have friends, loving families, careers, sex, etc. but, no matter how much better their lives seem to be compared to mine, I've never once wanted to BE them. If I could trade my sorry existence away and live the life of some famous super celebrity, I wouldn't make that trade. Partly as an ego thing, and partly because I think I would be taking on their suffering too, so it would be pointless.

We all know of celebrities who killed themselves despite having fame and fortune and things we could only dream of having, but how are their lives any better than that of Wizards who an heroed? Wizards kill themselves for being on the spectrum, and being ugly and unwanted, while those celebs suffered from none of those things and had everything we ever wanted but they ended up killing themselves anyway. I think it's a mindset thing derived from the circumstances of our lives. Those celebs would never worry about the same things as a Wizard would worry about, but having celebrity status exposed them to different sources of suffering like needing to maintain their looks, avoiding scandals, contemplating the dicks they need to suck to stay relevant. It seems to me like it doesn't matter if you're normal, a wizard, homeless, or a celebrity. You're always gonna have your own set of worries to make you feel sad and depressed. I'm starting to think all living things were born to suffer equally.

My coworkers are as normal as can be. They're married, have kids, and socialize with each other every day. Meanwhile, I'm the opposite. I'm single, no kids, and keep to myself. Of course I get sad about this sometimes, being the only KHV in the office, but when I overhear them rant about drama regarding their family and friends, I feel grateful that I don't have to deal with those things.

The purpose of this thread is to counter the general tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads. This thread will therefore feature practical advice about reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.

(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care.
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open the windows to your wiz-cave and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.

I've done my part. Anyone else?

In this thread, we shall discuss everything SSRi-related.

I've tried the following:

Fluvoxamine, Sertraline, and Fluoxteine are SSRIs.

SNRI's:

Desvenlafaxine Venlafaxine

I'm going to talk about each of them and how I feel about them.

Fluvoxamine:

The first two weeks on Fluvoxamine are complete torture; I'm anxious, tired, and have terrible focus due to anxiety and panic episodes.

Sertraline:

When I first started on Sertraline, I had no side effects, it was OK till it pooped out, but it truly works but it can screw with your motivation, plus the weight loss is fantastic on this medicine, I was 78 before taking it, and three months later I was 69-70.

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Serious question for any wizcels:

Do you ever wonder how you got here…as in, how or why you "woke up" when you did, where you did, to the people (parents) that you did? It's impossible to make sense of. Just on one fucking terrible day, we took up consciousness, literally out of nowhere we are in bodies and tasked with learning the mechanics of entire material world. What caused us to be born when we were, to whom we were? I don't accept that it was random, or mere bare biology..I feel within myself that this life is a targeted punishment and that were I smarter I would have avoided being born entirely. What piece of shit god thinks he/it has the right to do this to us? We are born, thereafter we spend a few years simply making basic sense of things, go off to school, probably suffer a lot, continue to grow up, endure more sadness, and now through all of it we just continue to get older and weaker and sadder. This life is a crime against our souls and whatever caused us to come here HAS TO PAY. Really the only thing I fear is being forced to come back to this shitheap of a world to suffer again…and I do worry about this precisely because I don't know how I got here in the first place. I feel deeply sorry for all the new souls born to this world…there is just so much to learn, but even more there is just so much to suffer through…and I cannot understand what kind of god would force this sort of existence on tender helpless beings? The demiurge must be overcome.

sometimes, I feel like my heart is heavy and it make me very sad and feel uneasy. It also feels like a sharp object penetrating my heart. Or sometimes, I feel like I have a big hole in my chest (where the heart is located). and whenever I feel one of the three situations, my energy is drained and I feel awful and empty inside my upper body. anyone who feel the same way?

Reflections on height
My mother is 4.9, my father is 5.5.
In my school years, because my mother worked as a cleaner in a factory for 12 grand (RUB*) a month and my father worked in the same factory as an electrician for 15 grand, I had a disgusting diet and a closed way of life - I was forbidden to leave the house. I grew very slowly while my boy classmates in 13-14 years old were 5.2-6.2, succubi were 4.9-5.7. I was 4.7 in 9th grade at 15 (since I went to school at 6 (while the whole class was 7-8). I was hated for my height and for the fact that I was not a calm tolerant I was a hyperactive child with the character of an alpha kid most of the bullying was psychological mostly I was bullied by classmates and teachers who were also female. The bullying could be expressed in the following teachers constantly put me as a bad example or as an example of a stupid child because I was the youngest and smallest, they looked down on me while my classmates allowed themselves to communicate with them as equals and challenge their decisions my attempts to build a constructive dialog ended with remarks and F's in the diary. I could be forced to do class work because it seemed to them that I was the easiest to force and so they reflexively emphasized me. To wring out a rag, to wipe the blackboard, to put me at the first desk in every lesson, to call me to the blackboard every lesson, to take away my backpack for not having time to put my textbooks away before the lesson started, constant teasing trying to shove me into some ugly role in some ugly play for example I played a rooster in the New Year's play because I was threatened to get a D for the quarter after which my classmates and teachers laughed at me almost immediately after that I was tricked into the role of an eagle on teacher's day where I was scripted to peck Hercules' liver while I was pecking the liver on stage. From the outside it looked like an act of sodomy and about 100 people were looking at me, including teachers and students, laughing loudly at me and shouting "peck, peck" I still do not understand how and why in their heads these people had such a desire to mock me. In addition to this I suffered from overweight, acne, stuttering and social maladjustment. No one was involved in my physical fitness, so I never knew how to do pull-ups and push-ups, which in turn caused ridicule from others. Classmates never paid attention to my advances they every day laughed at my height and my appearance Post too long. Click here to view the full text.