/dep/ - Depression

This is probably not big news, but you have much worse chances of getting anything done in life if you are not social. From jobs, to housing, to money. If you are trying to do everything alone, you will not be as successful. Except you have a godlike family and upbringing. But I suppose nobody here had this.

Older wizzie here, I spend a good decade on psych meds and constantly trying to work past my autism. It doesn't work, here's some advice for you high functioning spergs that are suffering.

1. Make dealings with the fact you'll never have a wife, girlfriend and children, and psychologically accept it. The crab blackpill stuff with autism is 100% correct, it is harder for us than someone with schizophrenia. I'm someone tall and good looking enough to be asked out by succubi in the past, but it doesn't work out as they ghost you the second they work out what you are.

2. If you have to socialize, socialize with old people. They're more forgiving than younger normalfags. Retirement homes advertise chatting and talking to the elderly, if you need to get your social fix in, you could easily sate the urge with that. They won't be mean to you and they'll be desperate for your company. If you're an extroverted aspie who needs socialization, have a grandma/grandpa or two you go and see every second day. You will absolutely make their day, and you'll be able to talk to someone in a safe environment.

3. Get offline. Computer addiction destroys aspies, and we're susceptible to porn addiction and absolutely depraved coomery. If you're NEETing you can easily spend 12+ hours a day doomscrolling. We're all trannying out at rapid rates because we're susceptible to that brainrot.

4. A part time job where you work alone is preferable to NEETdom. But make sure it is alone, you must always find work where you're alone. You will be victimized because of your condition in hyper-social normie workplaces, guaranteed. Even if you weren't at school, you will be at work. Autists are typically fine at school but suffer at work to the point where 85% of us live on NEETbux.

5. Understand that there's nothing in the normalfag life that will actually make you happy. I did it all, I pushed myself to the limits trying to suppress and overcome my autism. I lived a life that for a while could be considered normie. It will not satisfy you and it won't make you happy. Find a healthy routine and stick to it.

6. Kacazynski-maxx if you can. If you can live in the countryside with a bit of land, do it. Having a small garden, going fishing, being in nature and having a dog will make you pretty happy by yourself. I was my happiest the less I used screens and the more outdoors I was.

I'm literally repulsive, I've been doing it since pre-K. You have your quiet nerd introvert types, and they are inoffensive and can be friends with others like them. And then you have the true freaks, that no one, not even nerds can stand to be around.

I guess its classic Aspergers. Like if I was going to start with a list of my traits that annoy people, it would be a list down the DSM V. Obsessiveness, fixation, monologuing, inability to read people, inappropriate sense of humor. Its like I get so fixated on topics. And even if I'm trying to avoid my own aspie fixations, and talk about someone else's interest in the weather, I'll lecture on the theory of meteorology.

Even on the internet when I'm just text on the screen, even right here on Wizchan, I find myself annoying people and becoming X-guy. Even on the most innocuous topics I attract negative attention and irritate people. If I only talked about the weather they'd say oh look cloud-poster is at it again.

Not only have I never had a friend, I've never had anyone want to have a conversation with me for 5 minutes. Tons of times, I think we've having friendly chitchat, making a good connection, they are intrigued by me. But the proof is in the pudding. And however good I think an interaction went, no one ever wants to chat another 5 minutes with me at another time.

I think of myself as an open-minded guy, willing to chat with anyone about virtually any topic, and be friendly about it. Somehow millions of guys with terrible nasty personalities somehow have friends.

I also have a retard, monotone, flat lisp. And I'd blame it on that, except that I have the same experience even as just text on a screen. It just seems so terrible to be around me. Yet if I'm honest, I can't stand listening to 10 seconds of my voice on recording. So I don't have much tolerance for me either.

I'm too stubborn to love myself there is no reason to. No foundation or qualities just a thing that exists. I feel there is a loving hand placed on me begging me to let it in but I can't bring myself to it. Maybe there is something about loving your lower being before accepting the higher being. But not all lower state of beings are equal for everyone. Some are ambitious and driven, others are able to take charge and intimidate. Then there are those who are subhuman. Then what is my higher self if it is not my own desired image. A subhuman who isn't angry? I want more to life than this more to my identity than just being happy, I want a sense of foundation of who I am, accomplishments, a bit of control and charisma or at least intelligent. Like Hitler, or Lenin, Karl marx, Napoleon just anything other than this mundane existence. Could care less about their political stance it's the determination that I admire. It's not the power I want it's the tools that get me the power. Then I would feel content with myself enough to accept this loving hand of grace. It knocks but I can't open. It's not that I refuse to open it it's just so foreign to just let go of a deep desire. This hand shown me how trivial it is but it doesn't mean i am still not satisfied of how I am made. What now?

Im so tired of democracy and how giving life to a dysgenic mutt to be socially criticized for being "lazy" or "stupid" with a life of unfulfillment and emotional issues is objectively better than eugenics. The same douchebags that look down on us advocate to allow people like us to breed. Not to mention the whores YES WHORES AS IN LIKE ALL FUCKING FEMALES have a temper when you suggest they get sterilized. The SAME WHORES who look down on us the product of MUH FREEDOM AND BODILY AUTONOMY. and punish us for existing from the shit genes they gave us. it pisses me off the level of hypocrisy and sadism. Them having periods isnt enough suffering to equivelate to our suffering. Society is still sympathetic towards them and their issues so its not enough. They dont deserve human rights AT ALL if what the abominations they create arent human at all. Yes I see our kind "subhuman mutts" like me as disgusting but at least I am the sympathy enough to get a vasectomy I sympathize for them so much NOT TO GIVE LIFE TO THEM not to GIVE LIFE TO THEM AND THEN PUNISH THEM. IM SO SICK OF THEM THEIR ENTITLEMENT TO REPRODUCE NEEDS TO END NOW. I HATE THEM SO MUCH NO WORDS CAN EXPRESS MY HATRED. FUCKING NIGGER SPAWNS FUCK YOU I HOPE YOU GET RAPED BY THE SOULS OF THE ABORTED MUTTS YOU CONVIEVED AND BIRTHED, IN HELL YOU FUCKING WHORES.

I've always felt like there is a specific subgroup of people that were born to be successful, and the rest are those who gaslight themselves into thinking that their lives are “decent” or those who simply lost hope. No specific talents or aspirations, no deep connections with others.
There are even specific voices that people find pleasant to listen to, while others have to find ways to make themselves heard. At some point I wanted to be heard too. I had Ideas, I had Opinions or Wants.
I live invisibly, cutting off all of my “relationships” before they even start, because I understand that my mental state is a barrier from anything healthy. IF people like me disappear, it wouldn’t change much: it is not a corny feeling, it is an actual fact.
I am now physically sick whenever I am at my workplace, so I quit a week ago. Antisocial and anxious thoughts got the best of me, I guess.
I have a plan and conditions ready to end my life, and I am not bitter about it anymore. Just was curious to maybe hear from other deeply alienated people like myself.

Back in High School I tried to cope with doing hobbies outside, to participate in normalfag activities because I wanted to at least give the bluepilled advice a go, I knew in the back of my mind it would not work and to nobody's surprise, the expectations are exactly what occurred, it resulted in nothing but utter humiliation. I played for a football academy back in High School and whilst I was decent at it I was treated poorly by my teammates, did not make a single friend there even though I contributed a lot to the stats of the team, we even made it very far into the tournament, after that incident I was discouraged to make friends because no matter how much meritocratic value is under your hands you are worthless to everyone, unless you're a prodigy your efforts are worthless.

Going outside has not improved my health but only worsen it, it has done the opposite effect, it makes me feel more worthless, more worse overall, a complete abomination, it reminds me of what I look like which is the opposite of what I'm trying to achieve. If you're an ugly midget subhuman like me then don't go outside and if you have to then try to limit it as much as possible because other people will remind you of your own flaws.

For ugly midgets like me, I think it's better to stay home and play video games. Don't go outside unless you have to. Make sure all of your hobbies are in solitude, experience surreal dimensions through novels, animes and video games. Outdoor hobbies can be selectively chosen, ones that don't include many people, walk through national parks in those isolating tracks because not much people are there, it's a great cope to view nature as a wiz. If you have the privilege, then work remote or at least hybrid, if you can't do this then get into a field of work that requires a limited interaction of others, if you are even more privileged then NEET but I would not suggest this as its damaging to your health in the long run.

There's no point going to malls, restaurants or visiting popular tourist sites like the Eiffel tower, it is super damaging to your brain being in places surrounded by normalfags. Just watch the YouTube video of it or visit the Minecraft version.

Share this where you can, if it should be shared. Say Anon wrote it or Ignoto.

"Such deaths are one of the oddly distributed taxes that are levied against gigantic change."
https://archive.org/details/the-future-of-suicide-1938
Previous thread:
>>283706
>>287308

Maybe they're right all along.
Whenever im forced to interact with normalfags, it feels like theyre finding me repulsive and looking at me in a sense of disgust or hate. that they sense that there has to be something truly wrong with me that i cannot sense or fully comprehend my self, it feels all the faults about my self that i already can see is confirmed by others, but there is something they sense more about me than my self. it feels all these people who mentally tormented me all these years were right, because they are all living their lives now surrounded by family and friends while im here left to rot in my own prison. theyve won and ive lost, but whenever i try to join their normalfag world just to stop taking so many L's in life, copy their mannerism and speak like them, it comes out as unnatural or forced and i end up feeling exhausted then isolating my self from society even more, because that would never work, they would still be able to see through me no matter what and they can all sense of how much of a loser I am. Whenever i share any of my interests or thoughts it feels like i am humilating my self.