>>287651First off, if you really believe these things about yourself (which you seem to do), you are a priori setting yourself up for failure in every interaction you have before even having it.
I personally found nothing irritating/repulsive/annoying/obnoxious in your post at all. Let go of thinking these things about yourself, let go of anticipating or assuming to anticipate how others will react to you, and things likely will turn out much better. You carry too strongly the dark mnemonic shadow of all previous social experiences in your mind and these are falsely coloring all new social experiences you are undertaking. I would have suspected nothing of the things you wrote about yourself had you not made mention of them.
And conversely, even if others do feel this way about you (which I doubt), who cares? You really do need to accept yourself for who you are and steel this conception of yourself against any rejection and criticism. Normies (like w*o*m*en) are responsive to brutality, authority, rudeness, and cruelty. If you approach them with kindness and intelligence and maybe even some nervousness, they will immediately feel put off and out of social reflex shun you. This however is not a judgement against your worth, but theirs. Also, what's wrong with Asperger's? While socially it may hinder you, inwardly, privately, intellectually, it makes you super-human.
"Yet if I'm honest, I can't stand listening to 10 seconds of my voice on recording. So I don't have much tolerance for me either." This is exactly your problem – you dislike yourself. Why? Is it really simply because others respond to you poorly? Is that all it took to make you dislike yourself? We aren't kids…wanting every single person to respond positively to you is something children go through, but as wizardly adults we should be manfully far beyond that. You have no reason to feel bad about yourself, and it pains me to think of a fellow wizard being influenced into hating himself by stupid normscum.