No.227178
>have you been in school/at work/uni, put down, beaten, mocked, humiliated by your pears?
Yes
>what changed about you and how do you handle others nowdays? did your mindset about people changed over time and after being bullied by others?
I became depressed, morose, avoidant and anxious, and lost all self-esteem. I stay away from social events (not that I am invited to them anyway), and keep unavoidable socializations curt and dry (such as coworker chatter or cashier pleasantries). I am unconsciously closed off to the world as far as possible so as to avoid being hurt again. I don't want to be like this, as a child I was very outgoing and sociable, but others didn't seem to have a problem with keeping me down, and no matter where I go, or whether I am socializing online or in real life, people treat me similarly as if I had some sort of invisible sign on me, so I don't see any reason to change my behaviour. I don't hold any grudge towards these people, but I cannot help feeling jealous that I was excluded from having a regular life through no fault of my own.