/wiz/ - Wizardry

>>228138
I'm in the process of kicking some addictions which took up decent amounts of my day so I had to learn new ways of spending my time. I have some hobbies I neglected that I wanted to pick up again such as the guitar and drawing but I'm still too lazy for that. I recently had some inspiration to want to create a game world for myself. I don't know anything about 3d modelling, game development and so on. So I started doing 15 minutes of either Godot or Blender tutorials every day. I have this hour long tutorial that I've been working on for a week now and I got maybe 15 minutes into it because I always stop and play around with whatever feature he shows off. It's a long and arduous journey but I think I'm slowly starting to enjoy it, maybe. I think the main thing is to start small. Infinitesimally small steps. But to write down whenever you did it with a time and date. Whenever I log my daily session and see all the days I've been keeping at it, it makes me feel a little proud I think. I started doing the same thing with 10 minutes of daily exercise, just some jump rope usually. The goal for now is to literally just get used to doing things that I wasn't doing before so that I can slowly increase the "dosage" and some day get the results I'm looking for. But if you're starting out you need to find the lowest possible amount you would be comfortable to do daily and learning to live with that voice in your head that will inevitably berate and mock you for it.

instead of trying to live for some moment on your deathbed when you can "look back", why not try to focus on the here and now… your daily actions and engagement with it

> "I don't see the future I'm doing stuff for so why would I bother"
this is a key piece. If this is the belief in your heart-of-hearts when you wake up in the morning… good luck getting out of bed with any vim and vigor…

personally im not really at the point of structured life… similarly live at home with basic needs taken care of. Sometimes fall into depressions with weeks/months of gaps in anything productive

for me meditation and boredom can be powerful cus if i sit still, two things happen: i either process whatever i'm feeling (but it can often spiral into rumination…) or I have thoughts about what i want to do… if i'm only allowed to sit and stare at the wall, doing work or starting a creative project finally feels like a path of least resistance. Staring at the wall more than 20 minutes starts to get really difficult and then if you put a task in front of you, the mind will be more likely to instantly engage. Takes a certain discipline and will, though… so often it's just #1. Ruminating about my parents dying soon, fear of being on my own, etc… but that can also be a bit motivating because I'd *LIKE* to be a strong wizard capable of supporting myself…

at some point in your wizarding career, you just gotta stop thinking about those pesky concepts like "the future". you have to accept that "it's over" and really feel it in your body. acceptance feels like unclenching your jaw after holding it for decades. you're not a meaningful player in the normalfag dominance hierarchy, none of it applies to you so just chill out.

your goal should be to find engaging activities that make time fly. losing yourself is the best you can hope for as a relatively content wiz.

>>228138
>Having some "I don't see the future I'm doing stuff for so why would I bother" sort of thoughts.
I might just be a retarded animal.

YOu might be… it's not logical because assuming you had this perspective 3 years ago… well here you are, in the future… the future you didn't see worth bothering for. It'll happen again in 3 years.

>How to become more functional? How does one really do anything long term without a guiding star of sorts?

How do you become functional/discplined towards a goal you do not have?

First you must find the star.

The fact you can write a post like this shows there is an awareness that's looking for a north star. What if your awareness is the guiding star?

Walking helps.

I have a stable job that isn't terrible, all things considered, and I make alright money. Not enough to thrive, but I got food and shelter so I'm alright.

But walking helps. Just get outside and walk wherever you can. Really clears the head.

Similar situation here.
I suffer from chronic pains, nothing gets better.
There is just no way you will ever enjoy living without good health.

I'm sorry for abandoning the thread, I had it open all this time, just no real strength to respond.
To be more clear I just got checkmated by >>228194 this fellow mentally at least for a good bit and I'm still not able to meaningfully respond.
I'll do so anyways to at least show appreciation.
I have read each response fully of course, even if I do not quote directly.

>>228159
I understand the "baby steps" approach, I tried. I managed to "force things" for a while, then somehow drop it and to my shock a year passed.
I to this day am unable to keep a consistent hygiene schedule, it only got better because I do force myself every time I have to go to work which… isn't as often as you might imagine with my blessed dead end helpdesk job I received through something like divine grace.

I tried over and over again and I have accumulated nothing but failures to the point where now my body seems averse to even trying. I just bring the hobby tools for example and stare at them. I can barely read or force myself to think often enough.
Cheap dopamine is the only thing I manage to pursue, but the past few years have been filled with more "starring at the wall in a hazy daydream" rather than any video games or anime. Both which take more effort than I seem able to maintain.
I can muster some up if need be, but as I said, maintaining the spark and kindling it into flame is beyond me.

Funny you mention blender as it was something I really wanted to be good at at some point. I have 2.8 still downloaded, mostly untouched as you might imagine. Ended up like many delusional dreams of mine.
Well not quite, it can't collect dust at least…

>>228193
>If this is the belief in your heart-of-hearts
This was not a desired outcome nor a desired state of mind. It's not something I decide or choose daily. Though I do consider myself a victim I guess considering my galton board obsession.
I have made attempts which felt like best effort and honest pushes, especially during childhood and you know… the frequency of these became less and less after each rejection and failure.
Note, rejection as in, my being, my presence, my joining a group to play or simply converse with etc. Not romantic. I'll be a full wizard in less than 10 days.
Regardless, the result of constant failures shaped my views and current capacity.

Thank you for sharing your experience, it resonates in many ways.
>if i'm only allowed to sit and stare at the wall, doing work or starting a creative project finally feels like a path of least resistance.
Unfortunately I was a chronic daydreamer as a kid, while I lost the spark I don't have trouble just blankly staring at nothing today either. I don't get the urge you mention, the small work on a hobby doesn't seem like a tasty dopamine treat even after a long wall starring session.

>>228317
You are right, I have understood this myself, I don't have a goal and can't find one. Can't gaslight myself into one either it seems.
>What if your awareness is the guiding star?
This part I don't understand though. What exactly do you suggest here?

>>228320
I'll need to muster up the willpower to get consistent about it. I really do feel better if I'm outside every once in a while. I used to go on nightwalks, even walked a bit every morning, same route usually. Then blinked and a year passed.

>>228371
Indeed… I could list the issues. It's a burden mentally knowing that even if you put in 200% the effort even if you aren't even capable of 50% "normal" will never come. Sure, "healthier", but never healthy again.


Now back to the biggest pain point. A wizard most intimately familiar with doom >>228194 tore open wounds I'd rather have forgotten about.
I don't know how to even address this without sounding even more like a spineless idiot than I already am.
I agree wholeheartedly. I'm incapable.
I've made some impulsive attempts at such things. I made a little rat guy for example. I decided to spend a ton on a hobby I always wanted along with 3D modelling only to lose the spark after a single figure.
I was high on life for a while, despite the agony of my hands and other parts ailed by afflictions.
I was completely satisfied with the outcome, despite going at it with a "outcome independent" mentality.
…
That is all it amounted to.
I'm no longer really as ashamed of these failed attempts as I once was. Not longer blaming myself over the wasted money of the MANY MANY MANY attempts that failed to launch even to this level.
I was in tears by the end, had to force myself so hard just to finish… just to do something I mentally WANTED, or should have… Every inch of me resisting the act for no reason.
No amount of nihilism helps me get over this despair.
Despair that I'm simply incapable of action seemingly consigned to be an eternal observer of my own decay. I mentioned chronic pains, not even those motivate me to act even though action should be the path of least resistance.

I truly don't know how I could completely internalize being a dead man walking. I'm trying. It helped with the self blame parts on a day-to-day at least. I no longer care about having blown 2 years of wages on I'm not even quite sure what exactly.
Since… you know, what else was I going to do with it anyways?
I feel like your post is the closest to a truth I could apply to my life that I've found so far, but it's either not enough or I'm not enough.

I don't wish for much in terms of possessions or achievements, just to enjoy my time more. Enjoy it like I once did video games or anime, then manga. I'm deeply jealous of the neet wizards that still have that spark and a drive to play games too.
I just can't anymore. It takes too much.

>>228138
>Those of you that live a decently structured, responsible and stable life, how?
how do you define that? I've got some long-term commitments under my belt (a PhD) but other than that I think most people are impulsive retards when it comes down to it. usually when people achieve something long-term it's because circumstances forced them to. a common impetus is having children, many normalfags get whipped right into shape by the responsibility despite being utterly unreliably and flaky otherwise

>>228447
Great observation.

I don't have an exact definition.
The ability to set such long-term goals for yourself without being forced by circumstance.
The discipline to control said impulses without external constraint.
That should be a good first step. Managing day to day needs on my own, body maintenance and the like would be a good step towards the type of life I had in mind for me for example.

Were you forced or coerced by circumstance to get your degree? Maybe it was more comfortable to keep going to college / parents supported you until then so you could put of joining the workforce?
Even if the goal was set for you, you still managed to attain it on your own so I think it counts.

sometmies i like ot go walking ti really reminds me of my mortlity i reckon i went once to a gas staton and asked this guy what he thought of israel and he just looked at me shrugged and walked away i guess he coudnt stand my aura but again i reckon i once also went into the train tracks and found a cool piece ofcpap metal

I'm 24, and when I read your posts, I feel like I'm reading my future. I've been ignoring a stomachache for a while now, my mother is sick, I'm about to finish university, yet I haven't learned a thing. I feel like the whole world is a mess and that I'm awful. I feel tired and lazy all the time. Sometimes I just want to sleep and never wake up. I have no friends, and I haven't done anything with my life except be on the computer. I don't know what to do or think. I don't even feel like I have a personality. I feel alone, thrown into this shitty world in this shitty body.

>>228641
That's what life is for people like us.

>>228641
If you are about to get a degree you are at least that much ahead of me in terms of capacity to act and stick to something.
So look at it as a positive. I spent many many years going to colleges as a way to mask my NEETdom, but never really bothered since I was unable to focus on something I cared nothing for.
You have proven to yourself that you can force yourself to do things, or at least competently accomplish something if forced by external circumstances.

>I don't even feel like I have a personality.
This however is something I couldn't crack no matter how much time I spend with my thoughts.
It was something of a revelation to me a couple years back too. I don't really have a defined character like many people seem to have.
I adapt, I tend to mirror the most recent person I interact with or observed pretty much, but when alone I'm just a bland mass of nothingness.
It's hard to be something if you were never challenged, you never had to make hard decisions, you never did anything of note or got attached to anything deeply.

If a persons character is a sum of their choices, then what does that make of me, who chose inaction, who chose nothing at every step?

Not really a fitting place to discuss this, but I wonder how much of this is just simply lacking any goals, long term or short. From your short posts I reckon you got railroaded into some computer science degree because "hey he spends his time on the PC all day so surely…" or something along these lines. Just going with the flow.

Most normal people have a clear goal of self development for the purpose of eventual reproduction, then provision for offspring.
This key base thing is like gravity that keeps them on track if nothing else.
Take such goals/drive away and even self preservation becomes optional.

This is what makes me deeply envious of wizards on here that seemingly have it all together and managed to self-actualize without the most obvious driver of life.

**
As a disclaimer I pray it is obvious to most, but I'll say it anyways. This isn't a "booohooo I can't get any pusssaaaay" type talk here.
I've never really attempted to interact with a succubus, nor do I have any intention to. No males either.
**

What prompted this thread was a discussion, or rather, a one sided lecture by a doctor.
He told me, completely unprompted that I need to set a long term goal for myself and then that should spawn the rest as I work towards it. I should reflect on how much I moved towards that goal weekly at least and then do the changes daily that would facilitate the progress.
I'm paraphrasing of course he was much more coherent.
The point is that he obviously realized I just don't do shit about anything really and things have been getting worse over the years in many ways.

His diagnosis is likely correct. Which then prompted me to think more about this topic in general. I've already knew this was a problem, but the external unexpected remark was shocking to say the least.
It rattled me for a long time and still eats away at me ever since.
I desperately want to live because I'm afraid of death, but aside from that I have no real reason to do so. I've long lost the pleasures of jerking off to asian cartoons and video games are also more of a difficult chore than something purely enjoyable/entertaining.

>>228138

good genetics. mine are a fuckin dumpster fire. 93 Iq, 5 ft 6 in, not a succubi, weak , messed up knees and shoulders from a car wreck as a kid.

i got jack shit.

And, will sometimes run across some dude, exactly like me…… BUT 143 Iq,

life is sweet, life is cream, cause of 50 IQ point boost, makes 6 figs.

if someone is like us, and livin it up
they were lucky in genetics someplace. i was dealt all BS

>>228644
I can't disagree, but it's also one of those things you just can't accept else the rope becomes the only real answer.

I'm just about 5'6" in shoes. Funny thing you point out not being a succ, probably got called "male" or "man" in a derogatory tone before too huh?
Wasn't blessed with smarts either. I managed to avoid major accidents, but head injuries from beatings and being born a month premature don't exactly result in the healthiest of dispositions.
Especially if you manage to inherit a bunch of debuffs as well.

I'm still hopeful that I'm some special wisdom / conclusion away from a decent life.
I recall one of the wizards was some wheelchair bound cripple and he seemed to be more competent and at least happier too.
I'm sure there are wizards who are worse off yet managed to get better. I'd like to believe I'm just missing something by being dumb/lazy/self-absorbed or whatever else.
Accepting that the reason for failure is something I can't change fills me with the same dread as thinking of death/oblivion.

>Reasons why I think my life is "decent"

I have some money saved up after a few years (2) of living at home. Perhaps 30k, some is invested, and I make 54kish a year. I do pay my mother rent at a flat rate of 900 a month, and I help out in other ways monetarily, and this is all partially because she takes me to work on the days I do work in office (I am luckily working a hybrid schedule). I have a degree (CS). I am slowly gaining hobbies, working on correcting bad habits, etc…

>Share some wisdom
Ultimately….. what keeps me going, in all honesty, is my lack of a safety net + my desire for worldly things. Not too original I know but that's it. I can't rely on my mom to coddle me because she kicked me out at 18 once she saw me attempting to sink hours into MMOs, and I had to scrape my way into college and that degree and rough it out for 7 years in a little roach-infested apartment, eating rice and beans and barely passable meat every day. I will never ever qualify for NEETbux. She will kick me out again if I lose my job. And I love air conditioning and the internet. I want to go traveling. My mother is "poor" (living off savings and what I give her) and my father is a dead bum. I can only rely on myself.

I also feel living in that shitty apartment and eating terrible food, surrounded by crackheads and old, old people living in subhuman conditions because they didn't plan for being old really scared me straight. The human body is so resilient. I'm sure you, like me, never thought you would live past 20. But here we are. Unless a freak accident happens we're going to see 60. We need to prepare for that.

>More "wisdom"
I also think you just need to get a GOAL. That isn't helpful maybe but goals really do help. Go "I want to visit [x] country before I get too old and my health starts failing and I don't want to visit it as a pauper" or "when I eventually move, I need to move cities, and I never need to return" or even "I want other people to see this idea within me – let's study art, programming, polish our writing skills…"

When it comes to spending, seriously consider if you need whatever you want to buy. Or try saving 50% of your paycheck and just blow the rest on whatever you please. Even saving 25% of your paycheck will build up fast.

You also need to look at all the years you've wasted and just force yourself to get started. This is also bad advice but you come to realize this is all that can help you, YOU putting YOUR foot and hands forward and doing stuff. Don't make excuses. Just do it. Even if you're in a haze and it feels like you're on auto-pilot, fucking DO IT, you'll wake up eventually. But nobody can save you but you, and nobody is coming to save you. Nobody cares so you have to care.

>>228762
Do relate to material desires, but even that got old for the most part.
The only remaining "desires" I might still pretend I have feel unattainable (monetarily, world situation, personal options etc.) and are also related to what you mention in part.
Safety. Ironic because I don't do anything for my health… anyways.

>I also think you just need to get a GOAL. That isn't helpful maybe but goals really do help.
I agree.
I agree.
I agree.
So, why not? I feel like the very world is mocking me with this. I know. I fucking understand this. I distilled this myself. No goals, no point to anything. Not hard at all.
I don't get why the world is rubbing my face in this for some reason. Like elderly doctors completely fucking unprompted giving me this lecture.
Normies bringing it up completely at random even though they know zero things about me, it's weird. Either some cosmic influence thinks this is how to motivate me or it's literal demons mocking me.
I know. I get it.
Goal, split it into manageable parts/steps and follow through. Not hard.

Never managed to find a goal that didn't feel made up and artificial. It's hard to strive for something genuinely if you know it's some fake nonsense.
Following through, taking action hasn't been my strong suit either, but I'm firm in belief that it is related to the former lack.

I'm grateful for your response, it's just tiring. I don't know what I'm expecting here at all.
I'm not going to magically care about shit.
If I'm not moving due to chronic and ever worsening agony then no sort of magical dream goal will ignite my soul either.

At least for what it's worth I got a years wages saved up as well. Though it's just about $13k, decent in this shithole that is getting ever more expensive, slowly inflating away.

What I'm slowly concluding from your story as well is that I didn't have it bad enough in my young-adult years. I was enabled to stay somewhat NEET for almost a whole decade.
Guess I'm a stunted retarded manchild as a result.
Not sure if I can think my way out of this.

>>228915
Upon sleeping 3 hours and waking for my wagie job I had a thought that perhaps I my situation, as in, body, mind, environment are all simply not conducive to having dreams or aspirations.
I'll simply have to force myself to act until the base conditions are met.
Health, skills, resources all need to be improved through rather obvious means without a guiding star of a goal until I reach a baseline where dreams at least seem possible again.

>>228762
>But nobody can save you but you, and nobody is coming to save you. Nobody cares so you have to care.
This is still rather obvious I was just hoping to unlock some magical thought patterns that would enable me to do so without this constant resistance akin to tooth pulling.

>>228138
Structured life?

Got a job that is not bullshitting me. Bullshits my mom into thinking I am a white collar of a manager also.

So hey. I am a MANAGER who can blast some music on a half-empty/half-full city bus now.

>>228138
>To get to the point of this thread. Those of you that live a decently structured, responsible and stable life, how?

i played 2000 hours of factorio and after that i knew the answer to this:

you need a system. a system that helps you distribute your attention on your good ideas. every time you have an idea like "i should really lose weight" or "i should really start to do this" or " i should really stop this behavior" there needs to be a something so you can immediately transmute this revolutionary energy into action as to preserve the fragile idea. good ideas are easily overshadowed and you need to protect them against all the things that are competing for your attention so your attention is not taken from you so you can spend it.

i write every little idea i have on a (lined, a7-sized) index card and then on most days when i see the fools do doom scolling on their phone, i do my own scrolling with the index cards and bring those ideas back into my radius of attention. i constantly flood my attention with what i want to accomplish and also i write steps on these cards and track progress a little bit.

that way you stop the natural impulse to flee from an unpleasant life into toys/entertainment and instead handle all your business.

>>228967
Weirdly relevant. After I made this post >>228921 I took a bunch of idk what size cardboard cards and started something similar.
Each card has "desired outcome" with a few checkboxes to see on which days I actually did something to move towards it.
Enough space to make small notes of what exactly needs doing as a next step.
I plan to reflect every 7 days on these.

Splitting things into what can be done by not doing, so passive stuff and things that need me to act.
Avoiding things should be easier to start with. ie. don't stuff your face, don't rip your hair out etc.
Hope it gets the ball rolling with that + small actions.

I do prefer to be pacified through daydreams and entertainment though.

>>228968

i hope the cards work as good for you as they did for me.

whenever i complete a card, i put it on a discard pile in my shelf and the little discard pile has reached impressive height in the ~7 month i have been using the cards so this now has reached the point where just looking at the pile i feel motivated and able.

there is an old audiobook from the cassette era called "the psychology of achievement" by the author named Brian Tracy. these days you can find full versions on youtube, though i'd rather look on piratebay for a copy. the reason i mention this old audiobook is that the dude has good ideas about what he calls goalsettings. for example he says it is best to review your goals every evening and then make a plan for the next day in the evening. i do believe little cards are more practical for a beginner then writing out a new list every evening but all his ideas about this topic are solid and well worth a listen as is the whole audiobook. maybe you find some good ideas to improve your own system but i think it is amazing that you do this, hopefully you get as good as an experience as i have had.

i just write everything i want to have happen on the little cards and i look at them often and then subconsciously good ideas grow that help me realize them and next time i look on the card, i might find the small step necessary to bring it into reality. what i learned from this the most is how short a day is and how limited the resource called time is. good luck to you, i'll probably read the entire thread and if i think of something interesting i try my best to be short about it and not write an entire wall.

>>228968
>I do prefer to be pacified through daydreams and entertainment though.

that to me sounds like the gravity of your escapist habits trying to weigh you down. i hope you reach the point where you make your actual real life so enjoyable that you don't want to flee it anymore but i am nobody to give this advice, every few weeks or months i take a few days and binge some strategy or management pc-game, which is partly fleeing from my life for a short while but also kind of mental training i believe.

I think all those people you see doing "hard" or "boring" goals are still doing exactly what they want. It's just that their unique psychology is structured to make productive tasks coincide with their wants. Like the chad who grows up in a sports family and his father always talks about discipline or whatever. He builds up this model of physical hard work. He ends up becoming this fitness freak, again doing exactly what he wants.

Then there's wizards. they are doing what they want already. It just doesn't usually coincide with what a normie calls "productive." we are not machines. so you can't just be like: these goals i will achieve no matter what. in reality, you'll only do the things you really want. So like, people who lose weight… maybe they end up having others look down on them to such an extent that the desire to prove them wrong is greater than the desire to eat pizza. Still, doing what you want. I don't think human can really do anything outside of what they want. you need a reason that isn't bullshit. most people don't have any reason to do stuff so they just stagnate.

anyway, my reason is to hurt niggers, and thats what keeps me going.

>>229008
>I don't think human can really do anything outside of what they want. you need a reason that isn't bullshit.

being healthy isn't bullshit. your proud tradition of living outside of responsibility is though.

just think it through all the way and experience it once and you will know that being healthy is worth the price of admission. no pizza tastes as good as being healthy feels, no candy can come close to being thin and feeling light as a feather. the feeling of ability outshines every tasty treat that the factory can come up with.

you just live your life wrong and you will say everything not to look like the fool that you are behaving like. probably the advertisement that filled your brain with wrong images. like good-looking thin people eating garbage, that's one of the worst images that is clouding your perception because outside of advertisement, the unhealthy food is eaten by people who are visibly unhealthy and this would otherwise repel you if you weren't drip-fed lies by advertisement how there are healthy people eating trash. there aren't, those are actors.

>>229009
I agree with you but you have to understand people's psychology is different. like right now im working on multiple projects to hopefully make lots of $ again. i just lay in my bed all day doing research. i work from the time i get up to when i sleep. i dont have time to even cook properly so i just eat crap. my priorities are different to yours. id love to do fitness stuff but not everyone wants the same things. thats kind of what i was getting at with the op. you cant force your priorities. either you want to do something and you do it, or you don't. most fat people have other priorities over getting healthy even if they say they want to do it.

>>229026
>I agree with you but you have to understand people's psychology is different. like right now im working on multiple projects to hopefully make lots of $ again.

stupid reason but whatever

>i just lay in my bed all day doing research.

why you are lying in the bed though, a human body that is properly maintained will be more able to to research, how do you even type a keyboard when you are lying in bed, aren't your arms in all the wrong places?

>i work from the time i get up to when i sleep. i dont have time to even cook properly so i just eat crap.

you shouldn't cook food anyways. that's a modern invention that the body does better without. i only eat fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds and i don't cook, i just cut, blend and/or spice.

>my priorities are different to yours. id love to do fitness stuff but not everyone wants the same things.

yeah you want money because you think you can throw money at problems and you will believe that right until the point you understand that people want to tentacle you in monetary transactions.

>thats kind of what i was getting at with the op. you cant force your priorities. either you want to do something and you do it, or you don't.

i hope your research will someday lead you to the conclusion that your priorities are short sighted.

>most fat people have other priorities over getting healthy even if they say they want to do it.

people of overweight have very little agency, i think your model of them is giving them too much credit. ignorance into overcapacity is not a philosophy of high level concentration, it is an error in judgement.

So.
I've been working for several years already.
>>228138
… of wages wasted
In my case, those were my immediate relatives who would siphon my money. Cannot blame them too hard for that since there both on pension with no savings.
>health
>even
I saved my health in okay condition… by nagging my boss into buying me a useable armchair instead of my basic crappy chair.
My leg get fu…nky, though. I managed to deal with its funkinness by replacing my shoe soles with

A) orthopedic soles (foamed resin in my loafers/Oxford shoes)
B) orthopedic soles stickered to my basic leather soles from said Oxford shoes (makes wonders in sneakers)
C) fixed my bicycle

>on toys and basically indulging
Huh. Been there too. However, now I have cyber toys that can be used as my sleep improvers.

>how to become more functional
We somewhat managed to patch up our home(s), using my money. I replaced a lot of old "quality stuff" with some decent basic stuff that would fit the season. I also got a lot of broken stuff fixed or maintained.

So here we are. No savings, because I really needed to fix a lot of issues that kept me down in the first place

>>229053
Your goals don't align with mine yet you argue as if mine are wrong. It's like saying that someone's favourite colour is wrong.

Alot of wizards will roll their eyes when I say this, but I think it needs to be stated, even for OP's sake.

Let's make it clear that wizardry and losing time aren't the same thing, even if they overlap. I will focus on the latter, since wizardry is a choice that can be easily cured if someone is discontent with it.

Losing time is usually rooted in some form of addiction, and I dont mean 'addiction' literally. I mean it in the sense that you spend a large amount of time into something unproductive.

I knew a 30+ year old wizard from youtube (who used to browse wizchan heavily back in 2012-2015 coincidentally) who wasted over a decade of his life working a job that was destroying his health and left him with little time. The issue however wasn't the job itself, but his absolute cowardice in finding another job or talking to his manager for structured hours. He was on-call at any time of the day and he barely got any sleep, yet I used to tell him repeatedly to speak to his manager for a structured schedule and he repeatedly made excuses. By the time he got tired of me, in our last conversation he admitted he was too scared.

Another khv wizard I knew, a 28 year old, very good-looking bloke who easily mogged most normies. He wanted to something, but all he'd ever do is wander around the house, wander around the city, jerk off for hours or complain and bedrot. I told him repeatedly that why don't you start with something really small that interests you? Something you can do passively. He either ignored me outright or made excuses like "Oh, but it doesnt matter, I have no energy." but I think he was really just afraid.

The bottomline I have noticed, is that wizards aren't used to cognitive friction. Either that, or they're too afraid to change. If you truly want to save your time, and ultimately save your life, you need to make difficult decisions sooner. Whatever you want to do, you have to try, you have to keep it in the back of your mind. Otherwise, you'll live with the consequences forever, and you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

You dont have to force yourself to do anything, just do whatever you want in a passive state. I myself have gone through a similar phase of bedrotting and fear, but I simply refuse to be enslaved like this. I'll allow myself to drift, but I'd rather drift around things I enjoy than hold onto things I dont like. Its easier said than done, absolutely, but its the only way out.

>>228439
Hmm, what if the hobbies you're into are the wrong ones for you? Or maybe, you might be stressing out too much before you even begin? This level of despair over something so simple doesn't seem normal at all. You seem to be struggling with a severe case of cognitive fatigue. What is it about how you spend your time now thats different from what you've attempted to do before? Would watching gore help you? I'd love to enter your mind and dissect the problem.

I've recently started collecting murder and gore videos, and I have never felt a stronger sense of purpose than I do now. To witness death again and again, pure human evil and psychopathy, it really kills whatever fear might be plaguing you and forces you to realize how good you have it. I was suicidal and depressed before but now I'm straightened out. Still a wizard, still struggling with energy and cognitive overload, but I have a stronger sense of purpose now.

Perhaps this is what wizards are missing? A good hobby, a good interest, good boundaries? Damn…

>>229160
>Perhaps this is what wizards are missing?
I wish wizchan was missing edgy emo gaylords such as yourself.

>>229161
Lol calm down. I thought wizards hated normies? Don't you like watching normies die? A wasted opportunity, really.

>>229163
Are you 17?

>>229164
I'm almost 30.

>>229160
I don't think it's the type of hobby. There is a greater underlying issue. Especially considering the number I've attempted.

>gore
I used to watch a lot of vile shit, even some paid access stuff when I was in my teens.
In hindsight that was just some dumb childish way to vent frustrations from adverse IRL experiences.

Now that I'm old I feel a lot differently about witnessing such things. Death of any kind really.
It's sobering for sure, but I don't think an average person is supposed to see that type of stuff a lot. I avoid it.

>cognitive overload
I'm not exactly sure in what way you mean this specifically, but I've come to similar conclusions. It's not just that I'm strained by the complexities of everyday life, the daily consumption from being online, work, IRL stressors and worries stacking up, but it also ties into the gore thing from before.

I don't think a man was meant to have access to such overwhelming amount of information on a global scale.
Infinite entertainment and dopamine sources, be it food or some other vice on top of all that.
No man was meant to be accessed by people across the world either. Reading stories and the thoughts of those you have maybe nothing at all in common with online can't be healthy either.

Basically a "TLDR" version of that is that there is simply way too much INPUT. That is for certain. I'm sure many of you might relate to that too.
The quality of input is also fairly low.

>>229158
I did not mean to conflate the term wizard with any of my issues. I simply used it to address people.
I could have used "anons" or something even more neutral. I do not believe a "true wizard" needs to be a NEET/lazy/depressed/unmotivated/nofuture/unkempt etc. Sorry if it came off that way.

>Losing time is usually rooted in some form of addiction, and I dont mean 'addiction' literally. I mean it in the sense that you spend a large amount of time into something unproductive.
That is true for me.

I don't really disagree with anything you said.
I have some baseline issues with decision making that have been present throughout my life. Simple stuff like selecting a class in a video game, restarting and repeating early levels until I'm a hair away from a mental breakdown and quitting.
It became the theme of my life. Several colleges, several failed career ideas. Not because I was mentally deficient (I'd like to think), but because I did not hard commit to any, I could not.

I full believe now that I'm 30 that if I chose literally any path I'd have had the opportunity to be successful and lead a decent life.
Never did I make the decision. Never could.
Can't see myself make it now either and somehow 30 (more like 25 or so conscious enough) years of being like this left me as a husk of a person too broken/lazy/you name it to even work on mitigating chronic pain.

Maybe it is fear as you say.
Fear that I could have had more fun playing another character.
Fear that I could have enjoyed the other hobby more.
Fear that I wouldn't be able to cut it at X career, college, etc.

Every time I was at some college I'd be looking at something else instead of doing the hard work (though some level of mental problems surely played a part) daydreaming yearning… talking myself out of doing what I'm on track for.

Again I don't deny any of this nor am I really afraid to admit these things. I've reached a point in my life where I feel like I've done more self-reflection than necessary.
Yet action never manifests.

I still can't make decisions or stick to ones made on impulse. I fully understand, know without a doubt that any of the options in front of me are worth pursuing and would lead to a better life than I have now.
Also more difficult now in my diminished state. (Compared to rotting away.)
Yet here I am, unable. Inactive. Typing up an essay to unknowns seeking the magic words that upon entering my mind will rewrite my whole being…
I jest somewhat, but you get my point. I'm aware how pathetic this is.

I do hope you'll elaborate on how you've put what you recommend into practice. (Examples of decision making. Maybe a practical description of a struggle faced and overcome.)
Perhaps I'm missing something, but I'm not sure I grasped what you meant to convey in the later parts of your post. (The passive state part, holding onto things you don't like. Drifting around something as in surface level indulgence?)

>>229169

Every choice made, every path taken closes of dozens if not hundreds of others.
I fear this.
Yet through my inaction I have closed more paths than any choice would have.
What can I say maybe I really am just an insane retard.

>>229169
The rest of your post are really good and aligns very well with what my wiz friends have told me, I just came here to explain the last bit.

>Perhaps I'm missing something, but I'm not sure I grasped what you meant to convey in the later parts of your post. (The passive state part, holding onto things you don't like. Drifting around something as in surface level indulgence?)

Not superifically. Let me explain using an example. Imagine you're drawing or you want to draw, but you're having immense difficulty with the concept of intentional beginning. Well, you don't have to be intentional. Passive drifting in this case would mean opening your phone or bringing a notebook in bed and doodling some figures you have in mind, or shitposting oekaki in an imageboard with a basic touchscreen pen. Thats it. You'll be surprised by how long you spend time doing this. You could even become infamous in that imageboard doing this, but thats not the goal.

Passive drifting really means, doing something so stupidly easy you dont have to think about it. You're passive drifting through life without putting much thought into whatever you're doing, your thoughts are focused on what you like. Thats it.

>>229155
>Your goals don't align with mine yet you argue as if mine are wrong. It's like saying that someone's favourite colour is wrong.

i don't think this is true. i interpret the little information of you that i can see thought this window of the wizchan, i make a most likely simulation in my head where you will be in the near and distant future and then i look at the place where you end up and then i call this place wrong but not "absolutely wrong" (that'd be too big of a leap), only "most likely wrong" because i could be wrong in your specific case.

based on what you said the place where you are trying to go sucks and i hope you stumble so that you don't end up where you are trying to go because it sucks there.

>>229170
>Every choice made, every path taken closes of dozens if not hundreds of others.

interesting that you see so many paths because i see so few that every time i do see a path the decision for me is so easy to take it.

>>229178
I used to think once things get bad enough I'd experience the same.
Things simply aren't bad enough, fire under my ass is not hot enough I thought.

Rock bottom is hard to hit if you go at it with a pickaxe I suppose…

>>229177
it does suck but i kind of dont have a choice. I have to wagie again because i have so many bills to pay. hopefully i can get back into fitness when things calm down.

>>229195
>hopefully i can get back into fitness when things

awful approach, things will never and you can't wait for them. instead you have to find ways to use the limited resource of time to make the thing happen while everything is on fire.

>>229184
>fire under my ass is not hot enough

s

>>229195
same problem, you are waiting for the stars to allign.