/wiz/ - Wizardry

>>229141
I'm an early 20s zoomer. When I was 13 I felt like I was entering adulthood, at 14 like I was trying to become a proper adult and when I failed, I felt like I was leaving this life and becoming an elder at 15. Now… I have no sense of self or time. I am incapable of relating to anyone in any generation. Everyone's all the same.

I feel like a white man trapped in a brown body

I feel like my life was over before it even started. No real chance to develop a real personality and become an adult. I'm 30 now. Something mysterious kept sabotaging me along the way.

I have no interest in conversing with normies regardless of age.

>>229141
Yeah very much so. I still get hung up forever on nonsensical decision making like what class to play in vidya and the like for example.
The very same games I played 20 years ago or so. I got stuck and can never progress with anything.
I've turned 30 and only now I feel like I'm about mentally 19-20-21 slowly figuring some stuff out, but it's not working.

When I was around 14-16-18 I still had the mental maturity of a kid I felt like. Classmates progressing, pairing up, planning stuff. It was weird.
Early 20s I was shocked by how mature everyone was while I was still the same old same old..

I got my first job at 27.

I feel old physically, very old at that. I let things get real bad. Mentally though I'm as immature as ever.
If I didn't live with mom I'd be looking to off myself because I don't think I'm actually capable of taking care of myself and not ending up homeless.
I might need to take care of her too someday soon, who knows. I don't know how I'd do it and I get the feeling she knows that isn't going to work either.

I was still hung up on my kindergarden level toys all the way into late teens getting made fun of for it. Getting made fun of for not knowing sex organ terminology and slang etc. later on.
I don't know if there is some magical rite of passage I missed out on or if I was just meant to be like this.

>>229230
For what it's worth my body also kinda looks stunted in some ways.
I'm noticeably shorter than my father/grandfather. Barely my sisters height actually.
Smaller hands, oddly proportioned in general.
I guess I might just have drawn the short stick… badumtsss

It's normal. The vast majority of people suffer from impostor syndrome, and the others are probably psychopaths.
My grandparents told me essentially the same thing in the '90s, and they'd had careers and many generations under them.

>>229166
That guy looks 67, not 17

>>229141
Yes, at 34 I know 22 year olds having their first kid, launching their first big career, etc. I feel like Kurosawa. I spent all of my 20s and 30s doing manual labor. I guess I'm in okay shape and financially okay, but I'm still stuck at 18 socially, I missed all of the social milestones. I'm still replaying games on my NES and getting drunk on cheep beer.

>>229232
>The vast majority of people suffer from impostor syndrome
Not females. There's something instinctual in them that makes them all believe they deserve to be queens.

Relax. It only takes one lucky strike. You'll learn to be the jolly old wizard-looking guy sweeping streets soon. Maybe you'll even pull a "call the ambulance! BuTnOtFoRmE huehuehue" at a robber in several years.