/dep/ - Depression

>>297463
The closest ones who will "accept" you are your family members and even those will talk badly about you behind your back and always look down at you as a low life even if they don't express it with their tongue.

>>297472
Absolutely correct. Even your own parents don't sympathise with you and think you're this way cause you want to be this way. They don't understand what factors cause us to be NEETs. And that things are already beyond our control.

I don't know if anyone will read this but my parents are quite abusive, now this sounds like a paradox because I live as a NEET in their house in the third world so I am completely dependent upon my parents.

I am truly grateful for what they've done for me but I don't love them very much, because as a child they abused me quite a bit, my father in particular is a weird kind of redpill/self-improvement man.

Anytime to every-time that I try to talk to them. They just tell me to just "be positive", and they tell me that all the things that are going wrong with me is because I am not positive. And that if you don't think positive then positive things don't happen to you.

My father keeps on showing me entrance exams in the country where competition is so high that it's not worth participating, he says how would I know that if I haven't tried yet, but the truth is that I spend a lot of my life studying and failing in academics all while my family "supported" me by saying that it's just that it's in my head and how would I know if I don't try, but the truth is I knew, and the results when I tried were that failures piled on me. I failed a lot of exams and that broke me to the core, turns out I am just not the studious kind.

I don't really get along well with my father, not at all, I kinda want to leave but at the same time I recognise that I need his support, and it crushes me from inside.

I also have a lot of resentment from my childhood because my parents used to beat me, abuse me, curse me out, etc. I know that I am only alive because of them and they must love me to keep me alive, but it feels like I am sort of owed it now because of all the suffering I went through as a kid, but at the same time I don't want to be dependent upon my parents at all.

In times like this, I truly wish I was a succubus, all I would need to do to survive as a succubus is to do basic household chores and get married off, I wish I was born a succubus. I say this not because I like or enjoy cocks, on the contrary the thought of being intimate with a man repulses me to the core, so I am not some sort of closeted faggot but as a human being I would've been better off if I was born a succubus, there are so many jobs for succubi. And even if I was too incompetent to get a job, I could just get married off and that would be the end of it.

I am not from a western culture, so there is some alienation, I find my own culture to be comfortable but I would be lying if I didn't wish that I was born in a country with good safety nets where I would at least get some welfare until I get a job where I am at least paid the minimum wage. Or maybe I don't know, maybe it's hard to get welfare in developed western countries too and I am just coping that thinking life could be better elsewhere.

>>297583
if a man fails, none will respect him or offer him a supportive hand, but a succubus can go fine just doing house chores and cooking, they can't even "fail" like men do, sadly, i get such thoughts as well. men and succubi face different types of challenges.

Never. Normies are brainwashed with the concept of it gets better since birth. They cannot accept the reality of winners and losers.

Accepting that I'm a failed cuckmade loser was probably the only decent thing in this life. Take pride in it and say it out loud to normalshits "Yeah I'm a virgin loser so what?" They will fear you.

>>297617
Nah man no one fears us. Saying anything regarding your virginity, being a loser, or anything only gives them more ammunition. It's better to pretend that everything is normal.

>>297599

starving in philadelphia
i had a small room
it was evening going into night
and i stood at my window on the 3rd floor
in the dark and looked down into a
kitchen across the way on the 2nd floor
and i saw a beautiful blonde succubus
embrace a young man there and kiss him
with what seemed hunger
and i stood and watched until they broke
away
then i turned and switched on the room light
i saw my dresser and my dresser drawers
and my alarm clock on the dresser
i took my alarm clock
to bed with me and
fucked it until the hands dropped off
then i went out and walked the streets
until my feet blistered
when i got back i walked to the window
and looked down and across the way
and the light in their kitchen was
out

- Charles Bukowski

>>297621
Fucking awful writing.

>>297583
>Or maybe I don't know, maybe it's hard to get welfare in developed western countries too and I am just coping that thinking life could be better elsewhere
This used to be true, but now the West is actually crumbling, specifically because it allowed the 3rd-world mass entrance which squeezed every governmental budget to breaking point. There are no longer the budgets for the safety net that was in place just 15 years ago, and the economy is only making survival exponentially harder for those at the lower end - even those employed. So no, it's no better anywhere else but for marginal examples.

We can't choose our parents but they are the ones we are stuck with. The best you can do is be courteous and helpful, and hope that they will reciprocate. For many years I used to hate the content about "Self-improvement", but it is really the only tangible way to 'improve'. How it will materialise is an unknown metric, however. Regardless, try not to rot and stagnate as that only makes tomorrow all the more intolerable. Even if it is just tidying up, learning to fix things or building things, this kind of thing resonates with parents, knowing that their child is at least doing something. This changes absolutely nothing about the outside world, but I say this from personal experience with my parents over the last 20 years. They now depend on me to keep their house in order and save them thousands in home repairs and improvements. They treat me like an actual human being now. It's quite a nice environment that I didn't ever expect.

>>297675
It's insane that you got to be proving your value and have "somethihg to offer" just to be allowed to live.

>>297693
It is, and says a lot about people who claim to be "liberals". Total double-standards. I suspect human beings have a genetic predisposition towards attacking downward, and liberals practice this while simultaneously denying it, counteracting this betrayal of their value system by overcompensating in forms such as compassion for criminals and open-border posturing etc. The fact that the authority-figure of the mainstream media is so openly hostile to our kind justifies individual behaviours of this sort.

But again there is a necessity to accept that this will not change, and adaptation is the only mechanism for survival, save for the impractical and indirectly self-destructive option of "removing the problem".

>>297621
>Philadelphia
Never began for him