/dep/ - Depression

I'll pray for her too

I'm sorry you're going through this, may your mother have a safe and speedy recovery.

I pray she makes a full recovery anon, take care.

Good luck anon.

My mother died just a couple of days ago from a heart attack.

I hope you get the best result that you want.

The amount of stress from this stuff is insane. I understand how in one moment everything changes with no warning.

>>300723
Your mom will be fully recovered soon. Have faith, anon.

Why are you praying to god when he clearly doesn't care at all? You're praying an omnipotent being that just let your mom suffer an horrible stroke, and just like your mom he makes suffer billions of living beings including me, I really hope he doesn't exist and that your mom can recover fully without any stupid prayer

I'm sorry man, stay strong.

Thank you everyone.

I visited her today and just spent the whole day by her side. Seeing her comatose, tubes sticking out of her and everything tore me up inside. I didn't wanna leave though, all I could think about was how I slept in her bed when I was a little kid and how we'd say prayers together before going to sleep. As soon as I finally came home and walked through the front door, I started balling my eyes out.

I feel an immeasurable amount of regret over everything and anger towards myself, like I didn't deserve a mother like her and just wasted my time with her, wasted her time. I was just learning how to drive finally, but I was so lazy with it just like with everything else in my life. Now I don't know if I'll be able to.

I want her back so bad. I'm not ready for any of this, I'm still just a dumbass kid who never grew up.

Update: I strongly believe my fucked up schizophrenic sister may try to kill or hurt my mother while she's in hospital in order to move back into mother's home (where I live.)

>>300743
you know, this is a very serious suspicion
if your sister is actually schizophrenic and you have papers to back it up, you can ask the hospital staff to keep an eye on your sister if she comes to visit your mother

>>300729
aul ma dying is the worst that can happen

>>300733
I'm so sorry anon, i'll keep having you in my thoughts and prayers.

>>300729
I don't even know what to say, just take care of yourself. I hope you have some support to get through this.

>>300731
God is inside of you anon, God is being the best version of yourself. God is giving prayers and positive thoughts to people so they will suffer less. In traumatic times, what else is there?

>>300723
Sorry to hear that man, I can't really offer any real advice but sometimes people just go. This video helps soothe my fear of death, maybe it'll help you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOY-jJeOeBk

>>300733
You're going through an incredible difficult time. Praying for you and your mom.

>>300748
>In traumatic times, what else is there?
I don't like deluding myself, I'd rather take drugs than believing in god

Thank you everyone, again. She's doing a lot better and showing incremental, but steady improvement. Yesterday in a single day alone, she went from twitching right eyelid, to opening her right eyelid, to moving her arm on her own, to being able to squeeze and release on command, to be able to understand the difference between hot and cold.

Today they've taken her off the ventilator, so she's breathing on her own now. She managed to smile when I cracked a joke, was squeezing my hand, seemed to nod and understand what I said. She even said a weak little "hello." God I love her so much.

>>300744
I've done this. My mother and my sister have had a tumultuous, violent at times relationship. My sister hasn't been afraid to get physical with her, she's threatened to suffocate her to death in the past.

Technically she didn't DO anything at the hospital, but it was her behaviour, demeanour and overall how she was that had my gut instinct screaming at me and telling me to say something. She was speaking schizobabble by the end of the night and saying she was gonna "come home", meaning to my mother's home. Last time she was even in the house, my mother had screamed at her and was totally livid, telling her to get out. She hasn't lived in the house for over 15 years.

>>300733
damn anon I really hope everything gets well

>>300758
Wow! Great news.

OP here, wanted to give an update over 3 months on.

My mother is still in hospital in a special rehab ward, she's made a lot of improvement but the severity of the stroke means its likely she's gonna end up in a care home as she'll require 24/7 care. Physically, its almost like she's back to her old self. She's able to talk and make expressions completely fine, she can stand up out of bed and walk with a stroller, probably even by herself. A far cry from when just having her opening her eyes was an achievement. Cognitively though, it seems like almost the symptoms of dementia or Alzheimers. She can keep a conversation but sometimes, she ends up losing focus and putting her back onto the topic of the conversation can be difficult. She has memory troubles too, short term and long term. She won't be able to tell you what day or year it is and sometimes, its almost as though her memory is acting in recursion where she'll think its a time or year that's already gone by.

I had to tell her that one of her best friend's of 20-30 years, one that she visited in the hospital prior to their passing and went to the funeral of, had passed away 5 years prior. She looked shocked, then when I tried to insist on it, its like she sort of ignored it and went back to trying to do the wordsearch puzzles. I honestly thought I'd gotten used to things but this was a gut punch. I think sometimes she still thinks of me as a kid too. When I tell her I gotta leave the hospital after every visit, she asks if I want a lift home. I thought I was already familiar with loneliness or isolation, but its a different feeling altogether to have the house all to myself for potentially many years into the future.

The situation with my sister escalated to a police matter, (fortunately?) because of some other stupid shit she did, so my mother wasn't harmed or anything. I won't say much else aside from that.

At this point, my auntie and I have been appointed legal guardians of my mother, so I've got plenty of stuff to take care of now.

>>302648
I can't begin to imagine what I would do in a similar situation. The closest I can think of is when my stepfather passed away at home, and I had to help my mother with the funeral, but even then, she was the one helping out with everything. You're having to deal with everything on your own now, plus carry that extra weight, and I don't know how you handle it. I can't think of much to say to help anon.(*)
>Cognitively though, it seems like almost the symptoms of dementia or Alzheimers.
I'll say it bluntly because there's a chance the doctors are trying to do that "Give them hope" thing (if not, ignore me): there's a good chance she does. Strokes do that.
(*) Selfishly, I want to ask you what I should do to prepare for the day when something like this happens to my parents; but I don't think it's right for me to do that here at this time.

>>302649
I would say to ask them if they have any guardianship or power of attorney set up for their estate already. In my own mother's case, she hadn't done that, so it had to be taken before a civil tribunal to settle. This in my case is a headache, as I'm not currently on the lease of my mother's home at the moment and could be made homeless, where the only person who could sign my name on the lease is someone who isn't fit to sign any legal documents. So it was necessary for me toward that end.

If they do, then it saves you the headache of having to sort all that out. If you are given power of attorney, you'll likely have to take a list of all assets and debts of a person to coincide with your appointment. And depending on where you live, you'll have to re-report this every X amount of months. Aside from the usual thing of doing things in line with your parents wishes.

I would also open another bank account to scrounge any extra money, or just start saving a little extra than usual. Even if you live in a country where healthcare might be free, things like retirement homes do cost money for placement. Its just a good thing to have extra money, even if they've got life insurance set up.

You should prepare yourself mentally for the potential of people to try and take advantage of situations like that too. I have my sister, and she's an outlier as far as behaviour goes, but its more common than you think for distant family members to suddenly come back into people's lives when they're right at the end to try to gain something from it. It can be blatantly selfish but don't lose your cool. Try to pace yourself as well, in general. I don't think its possible to NOT burnout if you're visiting the hospital constantly. Any family who you can trust and rely on, those without the expectation of receiving something in return, have them in your corner all throughout.

Above all, have the courage to tell the people in your life who you love and cherish how much they mean to you BEFORE something like this happens. In retrospect, I was always put off of expressing myself; nervousness, anxiety, just an overbearing shyness I had. But being put in a position where you may not get to tell them is a genuine horror more than any speculative embarrassment. I had gripes with my mother too for years, but I've come to realize they were selfish and short sighted, that they didn't matter in the long run.