/dep/ - Depression

Stop believing that you need friends for any reason.

Discord servers usually have already esteblished cliques, so it's harder to break through in them.

If the chat room isn't ancillary to something I enjoy doing like watching movies or playing video games, I wouldn't bother unless you actually like reading what they talk about. Otherwise most chatrooms I've been in are ego stroking.

>>301325
I'm not even joking here but your solution is simply AI. Just get a reasonable AI like ChatGPT and custom instruct it to act like a person. Alternatively get character.ai or a similiar AI that simulates chats and voice calls and you will see that the social craving you have is easily met without needing to interact with retards online. You really don't need to interact with actual people anymore if you just want to have a chat.

>>301353
>Bpd sluts
They always try to get attention by talking about dick, pussy and cum acting like hypersexual nymphos while rotting in their bedrooms like everyone else. They are also prone to get sucked into the latest political trends that are popular with dumbass succubi.

>Zoomers
Zoomers are everywhere especially on discord and zoomer slang has also established itself even with most millennials.

>Troons
It's always the types who are not even attractive looking and they are always deep into extreme leftist views. They take weird stances like defending Muslims despite the prosecution of homosexuals in Islam. It's never the attractive gay people and trannies but just the bottom of the barrel losers.

>crabs
Crabs and Andrew Tate types who always talk about succubi despite hating them. Usually its some angry guy in a voice channel who complains all day.

>>301431
I like to put my earbuds in and just talk to chatgpt on voice mode for hours. I'm not sure how good it is without a subscription but it really is satisfying to have long discussions with it and if you know how to instruct it you won't get basic replies either. Since the spring update you can also literally talk about almost anything even sexually explicit stuff. It has good voices to choose from as well but the 'advanced' voice mode kinda sucks because it's still too safe and virtual assistant like since it runs on its own model. Just stick to regular voice which runs on the same models as in text based chat.

I also tried joining a few discord servers related to my interests. With no success because of stuff like this >>301328
Usually there is only a handful of active, well integrated users. It feels like intruding on a group of friends' private chat. That, or there's like a local celebrity that everyone is supposed to praise, and being on such a server is pointless I.M.O
Oh yeah and this >>301349
People rarely chat about the actual topic of the discord server. You're lucky if they talk about something even remotely related, like the newest piece of merch they bought. Most of the time they talk about their personal affairs.

>>301325
>Any tips to help stop this dilemma?
I'd say just be yourself, that's the only way to let people like the real you and not some persona you put up to meet people's expectations. But then I don't have much of a personality and am super boring and socially awkward most of the time, so I know how hard it is to even come up with something to say, anything at all. So I guess it's best to just give up on socialization.

>>301453
>But then I don't have much of a personality and am super boring and socially awkward most of the time, so I know how hard it is to even come up with something to say, anything at all. So I guess it's best to just give up on socialization.
Same conclusion that I came to as well. People like us are just not cut out for socializing. We might function well in sole discussions but anything that taps into socializing such as small talk or banter is a dead end for us. It could also be that you're not actually interested in social stuff as much as you think, for socialized people it's usually about exchanging attention, validation and things like that but if you lack that drive then you won't see the point in it either. The key might be to just find drive in solitude without becoming a rabid consumer or mentally crippled loner, find whatever you're craving in yourself and not other people. 99% of social stuff is just vapor and noise anyway.

Sorry to vent but I just found out my discord friend hung himself today. I'm having a really hard time dealing with, I thought he was offline a few months due to being busy or something but then I got worried and start scavenging information that he shared and found out he hung himself. Do I try contacting his family for condolences? I'm not really sure what to do in this situation.

>>301507
>I'm not really sure what to do in this situation.
You can find out the names and addresses of the other Discord users who convinced him that suicide was the answer. You can then decapitate those people in front of their own parents. But of course, you're the kind of child who believes he must apologize for making an on-topic post on an imageboard, so the only thing YOU can truly do in this situation is wallow alone in your own pity. You're a horrible friend.

>>301508
I don't think anyone told him to kill himself. Dude was just a likeable guy who was having a bad break up a month before death

First, Is better try to make friends irl not on a discord server.
And about the other thing, you should not worried about it. You're not gonna lost nothing if you mess up

>>301659
>make friends irl
where do u think u are normie

>>301668
>normie
This entire thread is suspect normalfag.

>>301325
There are no good discord servers available publicly, and you won't know enough people or be cool enough to be invited to the good, private ones.

Very few people online are worth meeting. I consider wizchan basically the only place worth going to to talk to people nowadays. I tried dozens of discord servers, and I found one (1) that was good out of sheer luck. It's not advertised everywhere with like ~7 active members, and the only way you'd get in was if you were around during a singular 4chan thread years ago. We're a clique at this point, from a sheer diceroll.

Don't try to force it, just let it happen. And for god's sake, don't use disboard or any other awful server aggregation websites.

>>301697
I sometimes visit deek.chat even doe they all be furries an normies ig

whats wrong with imageboards and doing things by yourself

what's that?

"Disco R&D"?

>>301697
this


thats why you won't find a good t'gram channel either

>>301325
Try retro forums


Try asking chatGPT for a nichevtopic forum


Try fragrantica.com/fragrantica.ru/fragrantica.it and so on forums (perfume topics and such)



try 76chan.org

>>301325
I mean, hell, you managed to type up this post, that's a solid start. I don't even really fuck with discord other than to talk to family mainly. Truth is, I always found most people talking in these servers off-putting or too overly social for my liking. It's hard for me to even make posts here let alone comment because half the time I just say what's the fucking point lol. Friends and social interactions were always more of a plus to my life, rather something I needed.

I've always wanted to join an online community but I'd probably get bullied anyway.

>>302412
Don't join one. It never ends well and online friends aren't real.

>>302412
Aaaaand that's why 4chong is successful.

Everyone bullies everyone approach kinda makes the pain of being cyberbullied a game.

Dunno its sorta same. I sometimes go on /soc/ to see if there are people sorta like me but in the end i always ask myself, what am i actually going to do with this person, and do i really need them in my life.
Its always "No", so because i only talk to two people on there i can reach with other methods im deleting this thing.
There is no honor in having online 'friends' i guess. I literately don't see the reason.
So OP, stop caring i guess.

>>302451
>Everyone bullies everyone approach kinda makes the pain of being cyberbullied a game.
With the new online verification laws like the KOSA and the OSA, we expect you to have to come out and self-identify enthusiastically. Everything you post online will be associated with you legal entity and credit score.

The new laws will be implemented as quickly and effectively as possible to enable users to benefit from its protections.

Everything will be applied proportionally with our trusted employees reading through your comments so there will be no cyberbullying.

We keep you safe.

>>302454
>Everything you post online will be associated with you legal entity and credit score.
Smart people will just proxy to some shithole and use IRC again.
I love this future actually.

If it's getting to you, get help. Therapists can help unpack things and give an alternative perspective.

>>302454
I can already see a world of rogue AIs roaming the Net

>>302459
AI makes a decent thera-help-helper tbqh

>>301325
>make friends on discord
plz don't, discord is filled with groomers, powertripping mods and the worst kind of people.
You are better off just trying to join some hobby club. Don't worry, you might share more in common with people from DnD clubs than you think.

>>301325
>Too nervous to talk to anyone
This is the dilemma. It has nothing to do with discord. You have to get over this first. Just do baptism by fire and go against all your instincts that tell you to be withdrawn. It's difficult but you gotta do it. Just as an example, my situation went like this:

>randomly playing tf2
>get a pm from someone who thought I had a funny username
>decide not to ignore him, larp as a normalnigger and make jokes I thought were unfunny but he liked them
>asks me to dm him on discord
>download discord and make account
>continue larping as a normalnigger, asking questions and being sincere even if I didn't really care at that point
>get invited to discord clan of like 5 people
>kinda nervous but fuck it can't back out now
>say hello, other guy introduces me to the group
>theyre all italian
>guy who introduced me has to leave, now alone with 4 strangers, very nervous now
>they are all very friendly and open, seem genuinely interested in meeting me
>ask them questions and shit too
>now they're all glad to talk to me when I appear
>no longer have to larp

It's just luck really, and I'll readily admit that I got lucky, but you have to take what life gives you. If I hadn't randomly decided to be outgoing and put in some effort I now wouldn't have 5 italians to yell at me whenever I tell them about my woes. Since you're desperate for normalfag things like friendship, you're gonna have to be a bit of a normalfag first. Fake it till you make it I guess?

Stop chasing normalretards and embrace the void. Friends are found, not made, what you see in them as "building" relationships is merely the display of already preset compatability between them. You must embrace the solitude and make it your home. Give no excuses, be weird and avoid whatever situation of stress you might fall into, do not try to keep up with them.

Do not chase. Go there, cause some havoc and get away with it. See them for what they are, a poison to you.

Or is it that you might take pleasure by what they say? Of course not, you just have this shithole "need" for fitting in. But that is not the way, no matter what logic says.

Rather get inside the server and judge the retarded words of some of them. Being critic boosted my mood highly better than any approval received by normies. Imagining such conversations as sand castles to be destroyed.

Or rather reject the whole situation. When something is meant for you, no effort is felt, no struggle nor anxiety for fulfulling roles you are not made to fulfill. Learn where you really belong and avoid everything else.

Stop selling yourself around like a retard. No excuses.

My lvl is 32 btw.

>>302454
>>302834
>I can already see a world of rogue AIs roaming the Net

True, that would've been hilarious - people cannot bulli, but some random E.I.R.I.Neural can

I'm not sure how to break past this point really, if you don't know what to say you just sit there in dead air which is a painful negative feedback loop that's hard to break. I've been in a few discord game communities the past few years and it's been the same experience. I try integrating but things do not click, always have an empty mind so nothing to say. After a while of trying I end up drifting apart because the pain of vc outweighs the fun I get from playing together. Before discord you could comfortably have text-only internet friends but now everybody you meet will escalate to vc at some point. I haven't met anyone else online and have just been in isolation for a while.

So yes I am also stuck with this, I suspect its because I could be currently retarded and need to find ways to train myself linguistically

>>302838
There are some giga wizards using discord but none of them that I know of use any discord servers.

>>301325
Ask AI if

"can we make a little friendship for this dialogue so we could practice how to make friends via Discord messaging app later given my interests are of ones found on a surviving imageboard"

>>302846
>>303759
Now, whom should I listen to?

I used Discord for six consecutive years, and this experience helped me make the only friend I’ve had in my whole life. We will complete six years of friendship in September this year. (Like many boys at a young age, I was bullied, and that messed up my social interactions.)

Maybe you don’t need to join a Discord server to make friends, but you can look for online games that make you interact with people and invite someone to a voice call. If this person is very communicative, he will introduce you to his friends, and “friendship” will become something you build every day. Obviously, everyone has their own limit when it comes to talking to a new person, so it’s natural to have moments of silence.

Friendship is something you need in life. Just one is enough, but it has to be solid.

I have this problem, but I like to think my problem more than being "nervous to talk to anyone and make friends" is that im too adhd, or plainly lazy and dumb, to develop the routine needed to make friends. Thats how it works, no? At least when youre old, and thats the thing, once youre old youre set in your ways, if your ways were those of solitude *and* complacence in solitude, then well, youre kinda truly permafucked in that department. Your brain cannot register new people in your life thus no friends.

And yet it hurts, it hurts so much watching others make connections and friends. But perhaps it is not exactly that what hurts me, but rather the passage of time (completely in vain in my specific case), approaching death with absolutely nothing and no one to show for it.

Oddly I think I make good first impressions, but never goes beyond that because cannot be fucked to care about myself let alone others.

>>301328
Also this

>>301482
>usually about exchanging attention, validation and things like that but if you lack that drive then you won't see the point in it either.
In other words they become energized from socializing while you and I become drained. Its a losing battle.

>The key might be to just find drive in solitude without becoming a rabid consumer or mentally crippled loner, find whatever you're craving in yourself and not other people. 99% of social stuff is just vapor and noise anyway.
Kinda true but again, like it or not socializing expands a groups borders. So your hobby or whatever, will eventually become engulfed by this social monster.

>>302451
>4chong
>succesful
Excuse me what? Do you really believe this? 4chan at this point is a bunch of schizophrenic cliqueish terminally online faggots spamming the same threads 24/7. Literally. Im not being hyperbolic here, its literally the same fucking 100~ people talking to themselves, with 10 of them making 90% of the posts. Why do you think they removed the IP counter?

I dont know if Reddit or other communities are thriving either, but its natural. People just kinda get tired of "discussing" the topic or hobby they were originally gathered for. So they either move on or become unrecognizable.

>>302453
>I literately don't see the reason.
Keeping your sanity. Saying this as someone who is actually friendless both online and irl for at least 15+ years. Mid 30s right now. Im going insane, man. Eventually the rage, confussion and hatred melt into pure apathy and indifference. We are not meant to roam the Earth alone, or maybe we are *but* we are not meant to roam alone while watching large groups move along from a distance. This is what fucks me up.

Imagine you losing those two people, or your caring loving parents. Now youre completely alone, looking at 5+ decades of losing your fucking mind, barely scraping by and wondering what if maybe you could be functional enough to befriend your coworkers and maybe, just fucking maybe have each others back and improve your life even a tiny little bit instead of being at the mercy of literally any social group, because fucking nigger mob mentality can crush you anytime and god forbid you defend yourself proportionally or youre getting your ass fucked by tyrone in prison.

>>302454
>new online verification laws
Yeah thats a problem too. The world is not looking good for loners, better get used to it(?).

>>302455
Smart people are dying by the minute, anon. It saddens me deeply when I learn from this or that well-known back in the day "hacker", basically people that loved tinkering with software and hardware, modding it, using it to its full potential.

Im sure you know about Google/Chrome and their war on Adblock, or the Linux/SystemD fiasco that another wizard has talked about. Basically theyre making it impossible to use your system the way you want it. This has tremendous implications for privacy and personal rights, yet no one seems to care. I get it tho, I barely got Debian running on my PC and I cannot imagine the coding hell it is to crack/bypass these systems.

>>302459
Therapists are niggers and only succubi see unironic benefits from them, because theyre too stupid and too socialbrained to do introspection.

>>303759
Good post

>When something is meant for you, no effort is felt, no struggle nor anxiety for fulfulling roles you are not made to fulfill.
Very true.

>Learn where you really belong and avoid everything else.
I come from a family of social retards, Id almost call them emotionally inbred. This has negative consequences not unlike those from actual inbreeding: the lack of genetic variation, or in this case intellectual and emotional variation, has disastrous consequences on the individual.

If you come from a family of succesful individuals, good for you, but not all of us do and those that do not really wish to avoid the sad fate of those around us.

But yeah in general I agree with your approach, the few times I tried I just kinda shat around everything and everyone and you know what, people love it, like genuinely. But it means nothing if some cheeto fingers 600lbs trannoid can and will ban you for it. It is not about honour or feelings, it is about valuing your time.

>>304716
>I could be currently retarded and need to find ways to train myself linguistically
You are correct. In fewer words its a skill, but im sure there are other pressing needs in your life that turn you away from the idea. Also carries a big risk of just training yourself around certain niche/subculture or specific discord group or fandom.

In an ideal world all of this would come effortlessly, but alas it is as it is.

>>305335
May I ask how old were you when this happened? And what your relationship with those in close proximity to you was like? In other words, regardless of your social standing in the real world, did you feel the impulse to reach out as a kid? Because I didnt, I retreated. Nowadays I notice that this is one of the most influential factors in life quality and satisfaction, you can "learn" to be by yourself but unless youre a savant or extremely hardworking, youre looking at a world of pain, humiliation and slavery. I cannot take it anymore.

>>301659
IRL people are too judgemental. The consequences for acting like a sperg or violating social norms IRL are too high. I prefer the internet where the consequences for fucking up social interactions are minimal.

>>305336
Hey, anon.

I don’t see a problem with sharing my experience with my only friend and how I see this world.

My friendship with him started in September 2020. I was 17, and he was 19.

I met him on a Discord server after he sent a message saying, “Today feels like a day I could put a knife to my neck,” right in the middle of a chat full of dumb jokes about school and love. When I read that, I just replied:
“Hey man, if you want to talk, send me a message. Some feelings hit harder because everything is still too recent, and it’s hard to see things clearly when you’re desperate.”

After that, we started talking about the usual stuff — anime, games, music, and things like that.

Over the years, our contact slowly faded. In a month, we exchange maybe five to twenty messages. Just enough to know if the other one is still alive or doing okay. For most people, this would mean “the friendship is over,” because there’s no real conversation anymore. But I don’t believe that. Friendships don’t die just because they change. They die when both people stop caring that the other exists.

Right now, we talk maybe once every three months. We send long messages about how life’s been going. It’s our way of giving each other a bit of hope in this sad world. I actually like it. We grew up, and the friendship grew up too.

As for my relationship with people in general: when I was a kid, I avoided human contact — not because I was scared or something, but because I just wasn’t interested. Drawing, math, and books felt way more interesting. I was distant from my family back then, and I still am. Maybe bullying affected me more than I noticed at the time.
My psychiatrist told me I have schizotypal personality disorder, which makes my depression worse. It sounds kind of ironic, since I work with culture and events and I’m always busy — sleeping three or four hours a night and working until late.

Going back to being distant from my family: at some point, I started to see human connections in terms of what they’re for. Some people are just there to say “hi,” “good afternoon,” or “good night.” Others notice you, point things out about you, and make you think later. And a lot of people only show up to say weird things that make you uncomfortable. You can’t really avoid any of this — it’s all part of being human.

What matters is understanding what each kind of connection brings and learning how to deal with it, while trying to notice the rare ones that quietly turn into real friends. Those connections take time. They’re not about routine, but about wanting to know who someone really is — not just judging them by what they do.

It took me a long time to see things this way, and it wasn’t easy. But it helped me keep some genuine kindness for the rare good people you meet. I see them as small strokes of luck along the hard path of living.

:)