No.302257
Isolation has carved me in its image and likeness. The presence of another person- of any person whatsoever - instantly slows down my thinking, and while for a normal man contact with others is a stimulus to spoken expression and wit, for me it is a counterstimulus, if this compound word be linguistically permissible. When all by myself, I can think of all kinds of clever remarks, quick comebacks to what no one said, and flashes of witty sociability with nobody. But all of this vanishes when I face someone in the flesh: I lose my intelligence, I can no longer speak, and after half an hour I just feel tired. Yes, talking to people makes me feel like sleeping. Only my ghostly and imaginary friends, only the conversations I have in my dreams, are genuinely real and substantial, and in them intelligence gleams like an image in a mirror.
The mere thought of having to enter into contact with someone else makes me nervous. A simple invitation to have dinner with a friend produces an anguish in me that's hard to define. The idea of any social obligation whatsoever attending a funeral, dealing with someone about an office matter, going to the station to wait for someone I know or don't know - the very idea disturbs my thoughts for an entire day, and sometimes I even start worrying the night before, so that I sleep badly. When it takes place, the dreaded encounter is utterly insignific ant, justifying none of my anxiety, but the next time is no different: I never learn to learn.
'My habits are of solitude, not of men.' I don't know if it was Rousseau or Senancour who said this. But it was some mind of my species, it being perhaps too much to say of my race.”
Text 49, The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa
No.302261
>>302257Same. When I look at humans, I see such spiteful, filthy, degenerate creatures who I cannot even acknowledge as my equal. It's as if they are hardwired with a primordial hatred against all things pure, innocent, beautiful, and are determined to betray them and exploit them as violently as possible. I am an extrovert, but I find the company of worms and ants more energizing than the blabbering fool called a 'person'.
No.302264
>>302262After reading this
>>302257 i cant stop listening to
No.302286
>>302261>It's as if they are hardwired with a primordial hatred against all things pure, innocent, beautiful, and are determined to betray them and exploit them as violently as possible. There's some truth to this, it's because we're living in the age of irony where sincerity has vanished. I would like to go back to a stage where I was scared to even look at the front screen of a porn website, where I immediately, consciously knew and felt that whatever was shown there is just 'wrong' and I would click it away not daring to take a closer peak. That's the form of being naive I would deem as dignity these days. Not in the sense that oh it's bad because succubi are objectified, not in the sense that porn is bad for your health or your brain, but simply a common sense knowledge that whatever is illustrated in porn is bad as it's ot natural. But this kind of naiviety is impossible to even think of these days, what has been unleashed can't be undone. I myself can't go back to it, it's been ver 18 years.
No.303051
>>302257I love that paint jesus looks so alone and hopeless. Its not the matter of "Why god left me alone? I know it exist but why?" and its more like "were're my friends now? They even exist? They loved me?"
But yes i know the text is about social anxiety and human corruption.
People dont like quiet and calm people, even autistics people sometimes. They start to turn paranoid of you being arrogant or to much intelligent the moment you dont talk like or to them or dont have to much to talk. Being shy and nerveous with social anxiety is a shit.
Succubi sometimes are more hardcore to this, rare times are more empathic to this (bacause they're fucked up as child like)
Let's say there's to much social anxiety and neets, dehumanization is slowly the norm. People need a humanization process and find friends and love is hard sometimes. Stay up as a human everyday and not like a robot is a challenge.
>AlsoI read this book for social anxiety, it have good tips and histories of fucked up people.
No.303062
>>302257the person who suffers most in this world is the person who has many wrong perceptions, and most of our perceptions are erroneous.
Then meditate on your perceptions, write this in a piece of paper "are you sure?" tape it in a wall And now practice deeply and observe your mental formations, the ideas and tendencies withing you that lead to speak and act as you do. Practice and at the end you find your true nature and how you're influenced by your individual consciusness, media, propaganda, collective consciousness, family, society, ancestors, bad experiences, traumas, etc. All are unwholesome mental formations made up by bad, confused and suffering people.
No.303068
>>303051>>303062Thank you coach, for all the utilitarian bullshit. Now gtfo.
No.303090
>>303068>Thank you coach, for all the utilitarian bullshit.To be honest, I believe in the idea that potential shamans were actually schizos who, between the ages of 12 and 23, entered into a neuropsychological crisis and needed to learn mystical-magical techniques to endure their chaotic and miserable existence of bad feelings and emotions of fucked up neurochemistry.
The truth is, I think meditation and relaxation fixed my brain a little, and I don't use drugs.
Although I also read some scientific articles that said meditation can make people with mental disorders worse, I don't do it so intensely to a point of dissociation. The worst thing is that it even happens to normal people without problems lol.
>Now gtfo.no problem anon.