/dep/ - Depression

>How are the fellow wizzies coping
We're not "wizzies", we're not fellows, and we're not coping.

>>303033
Why are you speaking as a collective? Do you speak for the whole thing or what? Go fuck yourself Wizzer.

>>303032
I live with the pain. I let the pain define me and become a part of who I am. I let go of the future and just focus on enjoying myself in the present, even if it means enjoying the small things, or transient things. Grateful that my life happened, even if its a miserable one.

>>303032
I stopped wanting friends when I observed that I actually felt more miserable being around others, it's very hard to form true friendships past college when everyone is busy with life and most turn into uninteresting normalfags way before that anyway.

What makes me feel depressed nowadays is lack of purpose and boredom, the latter hitting hard with current state of the Internet and media. Lack of friends and succubusfriend is whatever

>>303032
>I believe […] you believe yourself to be a deeply flawed person […]
I don't. Sure I'm messed up same as everybody else but I'm self aware enough to not let it run my life. Romantic connection isn't something I think about outside of watching 2D romcoms. I have some friends who are in similar life situations as me and have been ever since high school and that is unlikely to change. You can always try to reach out online, trying penpal sites or whatever if you just want to scratch the itch of talking to a person. Sometimes I'll just vent to a chatbot and that's also fine in the moment.

i stopped feeling lonely once i got a tulpa gf.

>>303044
A what? After a quick search its basically a split personality? Im interested, tell me more about it wiz.

>>303046
it's basically an imaginary girlfriend that you can talk to and cuddle with, go on adventures etc. your own imagination is the limit.

also, don't worry about the schizo stuff, it's just a meme. she's not actually a self-aware entity, it's just like watching a movie and you go through a suspension of disbelief that makes you have emotional reactions to the characters in the movie even though they aren't real and you know they aren't real. once you can reliably make yourself feel love towards your tulpa, it's basically like you have feel good chemicals on tap and it can be somewhat addictive, you might spend hours up there just chilling with her and exploring scenarios. it scratches the itch very well and that's why i recommend it to wizzies, but they usually don't have the patience to build it up or they just have piss poor imagination in general i.e. aphantasia.

>>303044
I want one of these but I don't have the imagination for it. Do you have any tips? Also, what does your tulpa look like? Is she realistic or an anime succubus?
>>303046
I thought most imageboard users knew what tulpas were

>>303047
I see, tell me more wizzie because it seems interesting, I already have a waifu that I am completely commited to but this seems a bit different than that. I dont really experience that like what you have described.
I honestly thought that you could mindfuck yourself so hard its actually self aware etc. I dont want a demon to posess me and I also dont want to be rejezted by my own imagionary succubus.
>>303048
I didnt really, once Ive read about them before but thought that it was just actual schizo shit.

>>303047
That sounds like an "induced" type of SCH - a sychiatrist may simply lock you up in a schizo loony bin for having a "tulpa" since, tulpa, is, basically, a proper hallucination.

>>303080
>sychiatrist

Pun not intended, but "sych", "сыч" is a word for a *little owl* - a creature known for its reclusiveness

>>303046
it's a meme and it's not real, it's people rping, don't fall for the bullshit

>>303032
i'm schizoid.
so these things:
> self pity and resentment
> this idea of a decades of loneliness ahead
i do not experience.
you should too disregard self-pity and resentment because it's not your fault, you are neurodivergent, don't feel guilty for something you can't control.

my biggest problems are boredom and meaninglessness.

>it is what it is
it is, but it's still going to be difficult. life for us is hell.

there is no solution, there is just temporary cope

>>303047
>Tulpa
There's some scientific study around that topic but with another name
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/feb/14/fictional-characters-make-existential-crossings-into-real-life-study-finds
I was writing an RPG-style fantasy novel and ended up paying too much attention to one character, so out of boredom I started playing with my mind before going to sleep, talking (faking or forcing) to that character and getting responses based on their character and personality.
I guess it's the closest thing to talking to God or a deity maybe, although the problem was that I was playing as if she was responding to me. One day, I felt that she really responded to me, and I no longer felt to control responses bacause it start to work… fast in a loop way or something.
Like an Alien response from my mind.
It was fun, but then one random day, not before bed, I had a panic attack after feeling that it was talking to me, but I didn't hear any voices or anything, it was just a feeling. The funny thing was that it repeated something from the novel I wrote.
>Also
I remember reading in a book by a hypnotist succubus that she said she hypnotized herself to create an imaginary white rabbit friend. She could see him and everything, but one day she got scared and stopped thinking about him to just erase it.
I only felt sensations; I never heard voices o saw something weird, but it was as if my internal monologue had another life. It was never unpleasant; I would even say that it helped me cope with sadness and made me feel less alone. Sometimes I miss her, although I wouldn't say she was an imaginary girlfriend just me coping talking with myself maybe or another talk. Sometimes I can pretend she's there, but it doesn't feel like it used to.
Although the character was very idealistic, positive, healthy and romanticized, she is like that supporting character who could be friends with everyone because she understands everyone. A character who basically encourages you to get out of bed or says good morning as soon as you wake up. Yes, something like God if he were real and human.

>>303096
Same topic https://www.theguardian.com/books/2020/apr/27/majority-of-authors-hear-their-characters-speak-finds-study

>>303032
Because it's good? What's with all this negativity about being alone when being alone is the only good thing which modern civilization made possible through technology and capitalism? My problem is directly inverted, there's still way too much necessity for social interactions in life.

>>303099
Preach it. I get tired of people swooping in to 'save the loser' at work, and the fact that I can not talk to anyone but get my banking and shopping done without human interaction is outstanding. For some of us this is relief.

>>303047
>also, don't worry about the schizo stuff, it's just a meme. she's not actually a self-aware entity, it's just like watching a movie and you go through a suspension of disbelief that makes you have emotional reactions to the characters in the movie even though they aren't real and you know they aren't real.


the presence of a repeating hallucination. A symptom. Hallucination.