how to derive hope and meaning?

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how to derive hope and meaning? Anonymage 12/09/25 (Tue) 17:32:55 No.304481

feeling really lost
especially because i can compare it to earlier times
where things felt more bearable
or at least that i had some bearings to ground myself
school and college, a brief post-graduate unemployment, and then solid employment for many years that led to to a point where i actually kind of enjoyed my life
things felt really stable. i liked the people i had around me every day.
but shit doesn't last, and I have lost everything that kept my mental health from spiraling
and so it's spiraled
addiction and dopamine control my life and I get phases of focus and productivity that quickly fades when I get anxious and start smoking weed from morning to night.
I'm just rambling now because this is my mind these days, just constantly ruminating and unable to find a glimmer of hope to latch onto in order to make sustained gradual change to improve my life and 'return to glory' like I used to experience day to day.

Because nowadays life is uncomfortable
and discomfort without meaning is just suffering

how do i find meaning again after I lost it? Without it I feel so unmotivated to do anything about lacking it.

Anonymage 12/09/25 (Tue) 18:05:28 No.304482

stop smoking weed, retard. also hope is a cope, and meaning is nonexistent, you don't need either to do anything.
>'return to glory' like I used to experience day to day
you're just a retard. there is not former glory. all you achieved has always been meaningless. if you want to like you did, stop being a pussy and go work to earn as much as you used to. back then you did it just because your parents told you that you should, there wasn't any hope or meaning. there isn't now, either. all you need to do is stop being a pussy. get over your failure and go work your ass off again. holy fuck dude are you 20 years old

Anonymage 12/09/25 (Tue) 18:23:48 No.304483

>>304482
not gonna argue, i definitely feel like i have reverted to age 16-20 mentally/emotionally but I was mid 30s when everything fell apart. Gotta rebuild. Maybe the weed is just fucking with my perception of meaning or making me more of a pussy. I guess what i realize is that before when I had more meaning it was easier to work my ass off. Now it's like what's the point? Why not just chill and smoke weed instead of grinding?

Anonymage 12/09/25 (Tue) 18:45:14 No.304484

>>304483
you really need to quit smoking weed
it fucks with your perception of things it can literally cause you to be paranoid or schizo

Anonymage 12/09/25 (Tue) 19:00:39 No.304485

>>304484
in HS/college/employment i could smoke weed to tune out during my down time after class or work. now without the social structures around school/employment (no regular social contact) and without the daily obligations creating my routine/schedule, i just smoke all day every day and i'm just tuning out ALL of my time now. it's starting to feel gross. i'm not schizo but i think schizoid for sure

this is my sign it's time for a change

maybe i cant fix everything in my life but i can at least focus on quitting weed as my next goal

Anonymage 12/09/25 (Tue) 19:55:22 No.304486

If you enjoy doing drugs then continue to do so by all means. If you enjoy wageslaving then get back to that. What's even the problem here?

My opinion is that there are plenty of wageslaves in this world, if you can afford then just NEET and do what you like, even if that includes doing drugs. At least that way you at least contribute to the destruction of society in a way…

Also
>college
>solid employment for many years
Can't relate at all. Too normal for me. The most I managed to finish was high school because I lost interest entirely in doing socially approved things at that point and from then on just retreated into my shell pretty much.

Anonymage 12/09/25 (Tue) 22:12:10 No.304487

>>304486
i enjoy doing drugs
i enjoy playing games a lot too
but i do not really enjoy where this lifestyle carries me
when weeks turn into months and months into years
and i realize i smoked so much of it away while feeling anxious and lonely, or i get sick of a game and the rank I worked so hard for doesn't even mean anything to me anymore once I uninstall.

i miss how easy it felt when I was part of a cohort of students or coworkers. Being disconnected from it for years now I don't know how I can ever re-integrate and find meaning in society again

or how do I forget all that and find meaning in an endless video game drug binge? That one i've tried and it can't really be done long term so I just feel like I'm at the end of the road and need to make a change

quitting weed will be a start i guess