/dep/ - Depression

Sorry for you bro, literally masturbation for people like us is the very few good thinks that we have in our lives.

>>306546
I know that I am just frying my brain and if i don't stop ASAP or modearate my consumption the side effects and addiction will get worse over time, but honestly i have no other choice (unles my life circumstances improve) my life is extremely shallow and hollow, it's either i stay a porn brained gooner and get worse or I become suicidal from having to endure everyday in my life, I can't handle this life without touching myself, as pathetic as it may seem

>>306545
At worst*

>>306545
i hate*
sorry for the typos, i wrote this in a hurry

>>306545
When I was a teenager I was addicted to porn and would sometimes end up self-harming from the guilt I had to experience from it (I was a Christian who regularly attended the Church) I hope you can get rid of this vice, I have been watching porn everyday for like an hour 4 many, many years by now.

>>306545
Yeah, doing it kills a lot of time and I do it either out of pure boredom or for escapism. Lately I've been trying to do it more moderately not for any health reason but because it just feels better that way. Hard to resist though with how irritating daily life can get.

I am like you even though I would not say my life is that bad, I got a fleshlight lately at least to increase the pleasure I get from masturabtion

I love my porn addiction, it's what keeps me social. I talk to my porn addict friends all the time.

Druggies always have their drug buddies, after all.

>>306557
I never found gooners to be interesting people, ok yes I get they like that waifu having a larger or smaller breast size than the other waifu they like from the same franchise.

there's like a dozen threads on this topic already and none reached bump limit yet. but yeah thanks for blog posting for us it's nice to have something to read

>>306562
At least for this exact board I did not find anything while CTRL+'ng for keywords, but whatever

>>306568
oops. i guess those threads are kinda gone already. weird.

>>306545
Yeah to me too, it was a cope with a shit life.
I recall I jerked off all day when I was a NEET. Stressed by many things. Multiple 1.5-2+ hour sessions a day.
I'd do it till it hurt. I never viewed it as a bad thing, nor as an addiction. It was just my version of getting drunk/high I guess.
A fun way to timetravel. I might be somewhat of an outlier though.
Got the tism and abused as a kid in most meanings of the word so maybe that is the reason I had some twisted desires relating to violence and was already jerking it before I could even get hard or cum.
I don't necessarily hate that I did that. Honestly I'd say playing MOBAs and similar games for thousands of hours was much worse of an obsession.
I'm 30 now and only jerk off once a week or so, maybe less so it mellowed out for sure, but might just be because I'm an inch away from rock bottom.


I do have some significant regrets relating to gooning/porn.
Most of it currently is that the slope was indeed slippery and that hoarding became a mental burden.

Hoarding and being attached to tens of thousands of bookmarks, folders, files etc. is not healthy. It gives me anxiety that I haven't "saved" all those things yet and the ones I did save are unbrowsable unlike a booru or a doujin site.

Another thing that bothers me to be honest is something I was planning on making a /b/ thread about too. I'm not comfortable with the taste for loli stuff I developed or maybe always had.
Nothing 3D or anything like that, only drawings and mostly doujins, but it's already a point of shame for me, yet I'm still attached as I said in the hoarding part.

Makes me think that if I'm only 30 and already don't feel like jerking off that much, why do I torture myself over this attachment anyways? How many times will I need to jerk off in this lifetime anyways?
Do I need to risk having "questionable" in the eyes of normies stuff on my PC? Especially in this age of internet lockdowns and on-device surveillance?
Things are going 404, but I also can't make myself hoard more locally because of the aforementioned reasons. It's not gonna be browsable anyways and I'm not sure I want to have it either.
I mean… I do want to, but the burden of ownership is a bit much.

This whole hoarding shit is just an unhealthy attachment I guess. Have been struggling with impermanence a lot lately. It's kinda like saving manga/anime. Will you ever rewatch? Maybe some, but surely not all.
At this point though I wish I wished to change if that makes any sense. I don't think I actually want to currently. I don't know…

TL;DR: I agree with you OP. I'm also mentally unwell even without porn. It really isn't the cause.

>>306573
Thank you a lot for this detailed post and yeah, i get a bit of what you mention with hoarding, i have my issues with saving too much 18+ stuff on my machine
>I agree with you OP. I'm also mentally unwell even without porn. It really isn't the cause.

For me quitting it won't change anything at all, at least not positively, my mental health will just shit itself, my addiction keeps my sanity to be honest, unless my life circumstances improve i won't even attempt to stop or modearee the consumption of porn

It's the lowest of the lows in my opinion, for a myriad of reasons I finally "cured myself" of pornography/masturbation addiction like 4 years ago and it's one of the best things I've done, mind you I was far from honest to God addiction but I was definitely on that slippery slope and I didn't like it at all (again for many reasons), it's an arduous task mind you but with time you can leave it for good and again, for me at least it was a massive boost, be it confidence, self image, my relationship with my waifu etc.

In this sense I would definitely recommend anyone in this predicament to at least try to leave, genuinely so, not half assedly, maybe it's what some need.

>>306582
>It's the lowest of the lows in my opinion
Okay I feel like we need to clarify this to know we are talking about the same thing. Hope OP shares too.
When we are talking about porn here, do people really mean actually 3DPD real human porn? Because if that is the case that is a disgusting habit in my eyes too for many reasons.
Now VNs, hentai, doujins, artworks I don't put into the same category at all.

>>306587
3D porn is vile, you are watching people destroy their souls and turn themselves into meat puppets. Many of the actors are also human trafficked, it is run by jews, and real people get hurt. Most of it is also watching men railing succubi which I would consider cuckoldry.

2D porn is slightly better, it has no attachment to the real world so nobody is hurt. But because it isn't grounded in reality people will lose themselves over time to degenerate fetishes that break their brains. There is a strong overlap between loli viewers and pedophiles.

There really isn't anything such as innocent porn, you will eventually find yourself falling down the slippery slope. Even if you wanted to try and be a purist about it you will eventually get flashed by weird fetishes on booru/other sites and get desensitised over time. On all of these sites there is a lot of gross shit you have to wade through to see a naked anime succubus.

I haven't been addicted as long as some people, around 6 months but I already want to stop. I've had a desire in the back of my mind for a while to consume porn to cope with being generally miserable. The recent internet censorship gave me a mental scapegoat past the hard blocks I normally had in my mind and I gave in during bad anhedonia. I am a loser but porn will make me feel numb which I think is worse. Even though these characters are fake and 2D I will also feel guilty for them sometimes.

>>306589
you're a low iq faggot with too little self awareness to realize that porn isn't vile, but is a most honest picture of what humans really are. you're clearly in denial because you need reasons to dislike something that is an integral part of your nature. you don't have the slightest idea what self awareness is and you have not the slightest ability to delineate reason from animal.

>>306589
Thanks for elaborating.
>There really isn't anything such as innocent porn, you will eventually find yourself falling down the slippery slope.
Yeah I did indeed. It's still a different beast entirely to me, as you described as well.

>The recent internet censorship gave me a mental scapegoat past the hard blocks I normally had in my mind and I gave in during bad anhedonia.
I'm still curious what you mean by this.
To me the internet censorship spreading gives me anxiety for the thousands of unsaved/archived bookmarks I got.
I'm not 100% how it affected you though.

It did make me reconsider if I really wanted "that" kind of stuff saved at the end of the day. Am I really that desperate to be a degenerate? Will I really need to jerk off to this when I'm 35-40?
Why am I so obsessed with saving this stuff?
I guess that is one way it could have helped move the needle in the direction of freeing oneself from it.

>>306591
>dislike something that is an integral part of your nature
>wizard
Snip snap goes the crab.

>>306592
people who rationalize their liking/disliking if porn *are* crabs

>>306594
ok

>>306595
why do you choose to be so blind?

>>306592
The internet censorship made me want to consume porn before it was all banned, which is still uncertain. It is more of an excuse than a reason

>It did make me reconsider if I really wanted "that" kind of stuff saved at the end of the day. Am I really that desperate to be a degenerate?

I thought about saving pictures to my hard drive, but realised that they served as just objects of lust, which I don't find value in. So I felt they didn't have any meaning and decided not to. That was my reasoning at least

It depends on why you are attached to them I suppose

I don't feel bad about it anymore, other people are addicted to far more harmful things than rubbing their stick to videos

Well no shit you are going to get addicted and do it all day and night if it's the only cope and form of escapism you have

last time I watched porn was several months ago. I have seemingly lost all capability or desire to feel pleasure, due to health problems. I wish I could still do this.

If your life's unbearable you might as well lose your self to the pleasure of masturbation and lewd media

>>306545
I fap a lot and have been fapping a lot for decades and I have never felt bad about it or thought that it was a waste of time and I have never seen it as an "addiction". but I also never felt bad about not having a job or having no relations with normalfags so wtf do I know, right?
I guess the main argument against fapping is that it burns lots of time but who gives a shit about that? if you didnt fap you'd "waste" that time on something else.

>>306545
I loathe this habit and my inability to quit for good. I keep nofap most of the time but it always ends with me gooning to h-games for like 12 hours straight. I am accepting my relapses more now so they don't end in a week of selfhatred. But it is still unpleasant waste of energy that could be put to something better. Also even if you don't believe in semen retention or benefits of nofap, resetting your sensitivity by abstaining from jerking it is a way to make it feel better.

I'm only 30 and I wish I could do it as much as I used to.
Maybe I got desensitized, but in general I feel like I'm less horny as well.
Doesn't help I ruined my arm and elbow after a decade or so of overuse.
Even the more slippery slope hardcore stuff doesn't do much for me anymore. Sometimes I still peruse material, but eh.
Kinda really have to want to do it to do it.
No longer an urge I act on, more like something I could schedule to do if I wanted to hilariously enough. From random boners in youth and jerking it 5 times a day or more to this.
Time bit me in the ass. Probably being unhealthy amplifies it too.

Remember the good old days I could spend an entire day jerking off… of course with some breaks between sessions.

>>306769
>>306770
nostalgia pretty painful huh
cus back then things were probably a bit better, or at least it felt better than now when it's dulled.
i feel the same with so many things
like gaming binges when i'm really INTO it, invested, chasing the win, or genuinely immersed.
now i play just out of routine/familiarity *occasionally* get hooked enough that i wanna play all day, but it coincides with deep depressions where that's literally all i live for. either that or porn. but then i come out of it eventually… everything loses its luster… but then i give up and stop everything, and it slowly comes back… the glimmer of hope or interest in things again

it's all dopamanurgic… and that's why they say to focus on a task and when you take breaks, do nothing: stare at a wall, and your brain recovers dopamine (and especially at night with good night's REM cycles…)

it's well known if you disable a rat's dopamine circuits, it won't even eat; it starves to death without dopamine.

idk if i have a point. just that dopamine resistance is also a thing…

>>306771
I'm genuinely starting to worry that at some point recovery will be impossible.
I've gone through the cycles you mention and for the past couple years it's all been gray I feel.
No matter how much a break I take from anything.
Might be depression or whatever idk.
Even things I'm "supposed to enjoy" no longer give me any pleasure. I simply let dust cover everything. Let my hobby items rot etc.

There is a manga series I've stopped because I don't want my current mental state to taint it if that makes any sense.
Been saving it for a day where I've regained my senses so I can fully enjoy it with my whole soul in it even though it's kinda trashy.
That "someday" is not coming it seems.
Idk…
I feel like being in what I'd call a personal state of failure while the world around you is also heading towards a cataclysm of sorts might just do this to you.
Sorry to OP for the off-topic rant.

>>306772
Consider nofap. When I do 30+ days I enjoy even shitty games I had no intention of playing when I was strangling the snake.

>>306798
I don't think that is going to be a solution.
I've already gone months without jerking off before and not because I decided to.
Again, the urge just doesn't come unless I kinda force it anymore.

>>306545
Yuki is wonderful

>>306802
Indeed. I think she was my first waifu.
Man I hated how the show focused on suzumiya.

Another downside to gooning is the slippery slope question, I don't know how many of you here relate but I found myself getting into certain digusting taboo kinks that I can't help but enjoy, eventually you get burned out from vanilla stuff and start to seek new kinks that feel refreshing and exciting, may God have mercy on my soul.

>>306804
Yeah same.
Though I reckon I was already broken to begin with due to child abuse or maybe its the autism.
I recall already jerking my dick as a brat before I could even cum or get an erection in absurd ways like using coke bottles suction and shit like that during bath and much else…

>disgusting taboo kinks
To me it was extreme violence / guro stuff that was the first "slip". The recent AI gen (not lifelike/real) lolicon stuff on sankaku and other boorus was what broke me in a sense that I started being disgusted with myself.

I'll be real and say that the worst part of it all after all this agonizing about it, I had to come to terms with the fact that I have no intention of really quitting.
I would have otherwise no?
I don't want to say I view myself as a monster, but it's pretty fucking close.
Never really thought about 3DPD in any sense ever so at least that is a saving grace. Find real succubi rather disgusting too…
I hate that this topic is even such a large part of "me" as well that it needs so much contemplation.
For a normal person jerking off and pornographic material really isn't more than a moments thought.

>>306804
this happened to me, started gooning at around 10 years old and quickly grew out of it and started watching hentai, then later on trans porn and rape reenactment then i discovered telegram and started consuming zoo stuff, then a couple paraphilias i rather not mention then the kid stuff and hurt core and many other things. i really got desensitized to seeing a naked succubus, its like nothing to me, its so boring and bland.

>>306806
Try audio porn.
Many nice voiceworks out there to enjoy even if you don't know japanese.
There are decent english ones I think as well. ASMR types.
Kept listening to these as background noise so now I'm desensitized to that too a bit.

>>306557
shut up read the rules nigger

Porn is terrible but without it I have no idea how to cope with the stress in my life, it's so pathetic when porn is your only cope and escapism.

>>306545
i have been banned!

>>306545
It's a fucking addiction and I hate it. It destroyed everything in my life and takes me many hours of my days only to after masturbated 3 times one after other, I feel destroyed and without energy. Many times I wish to suicide myself in that state after masturbate for the low level of energy that I had. Wish the best of luck to everyone trying to left this evilness.

>>307001
Just stop fapping.

I used to be a pretty hardcore junkie, now cigarettes and fapping are my only vices
truth be told, i was mostly jerking off on stimulants, apart from getting high on weed
Stopped because it was destroying my body fast
Cant beat the libido, gotta live with it
>>306880
its hard, but its always something
for me its anime and vidya again now
some people are just easy to get addicted
>>306548
if i can offer you some kind of relief, I was fapping sometimes for days at a time on drugs till my member was red and hurt and i did that often
Everything still works
If you are just jerking off, I think it is highly unlikely you are doing any permanent harm
likely the fear of consequences is damaging you more then the actual fapping
good look anon, im sure youll be able to moderate yourself