/dep/ - Depression

I have a job, and heaven knows I'm miserable now, I don't have studies and I have a bad arm so i can work but my arm is hurting me.
I really want the job, I don't have anything better to do with my life in this point.
My parents are so proud of me, at least I have a job, but for my arm problem I don't know how many time I will work in this place.
Average normies life sucks, they don't have a beautiful succubus, if they don't have money their life sucks and if they have money they are consumerist zombies.
I want a life with beauty, I want a beautiful succubus, I want to listen beautiful music, play beautiful videogames, read a beautifull book or manga, play the guitar and have a creative job, I really don't understand normies with consumerist or poor life, why to get up, you don't have dreams, you don't have a beautiful succubus, you don't enjoy beauty more than the last iphone and a good house.
Normies life sucks too, but normies believe they are so better than us, and that is wrong.
I really feel suicidal with this thoughts, I don't have the life I want and I don't want to life a life who I hate. I don't want to be a NEET and I don't want to be a normie with a shit work.
Sorry bad English dear wizards.