No.306888
Hey mages, wizards, posting this here so some may see it instead of just throwing it in a doc somewhere.
I love life. For a period of about two to three years I was empty and melancholic with constant suicidal thoughts. But now I can't hate the world, the struggle of life moves my soul; the clouds, the sea, the stars, flowers, the wind, it all is so amazing to witness. Most of all I love people, for what they can be, seeing the rare phenomenon of a genuine person, be it in person, through their words, or through something they made, tugs at me like nothing else. And it's not like my life has materially gotten much better, I got out of my nagging bitch aunts house but otherwise not much has changed.
But this transformation has only made everything hurt more, going out amongst the normgroids deeply upsets me because they squander themselves for nothing. But even then I cant bring myself to hate how much it hurts.
If you're reading this mage it'd mean a lot to see you chase your dreams, I don't believe in that crap about humans only being able to care about a certain number of people.
No.306891
It's all just brain chemistry. I have times where I am happy and positive like that too and then feel the complete opposite the next day. There is little predictability or control either. Sometimes I'd feel really good and making good progress during the day, but because of that I release too much dopamine or adrenaline giving myself bad insomnia and spending the next few days feeling really bad. Or if not insomnia then just regular burn out that lasts a lot longer than the good mood days. Or some days where you just feel tired, dazed and unmotivated where 1 out 100 times I manage to pull myself out of but the next 99 times it just doesn't work. I think my brain is just fucked and don't react to the environment like happy people do, either overshooting or undershooting all the time. Good mindsets and habits would probably help me but they can't save me.
No.306892
This is normal. "THe blackpill" and the spiral of deperession it's designed to incite is literally a troll meme made by people who hate men and want to see the young ones fall in to despair. The truth is, the world is funny and cool, and while it may be challenging and unfulfilling at times, there's always something to fight for.
>going out amongst the normgroids deeply upsets me because they squander themselves for nothing.
Laugh at them. They have no sympathy for themselves, so why should you have sympathy for them?
No.306894
>But now I can't hate the world, the struggle of life moves my soul; the clouds, the sea, the stars, flowers, the wind, it all is so amazing to witness.
In my opinion this is delusional thinking, life is objectively terrible, you're either too young to realize this or too immature to comprehend that earth is a massive slaughterhouse. I understand that there is beauty in the world but this beauty is completely cancelled by the vast amount of suffering that takes place every day under the sun. Now you may say I don't care about others I have a good life, but ignoring the mountain of skulls won't save you from becoming part of it one day. Keep it real man.