/dep/ - Depression

getting a job won't stop your parents from abusing you. the real reason you are the punching bag is because you are weak and they can get away with it. there are no consequences to verbally or physically abusing you. and to top it off, you also believe you rightfully deserve it, so they don't even have to fear you hating them or feel guilty.

this is not your fault. the real problem is life itself, society is built up on these chains of abusers, power structures dictated by biology, customs, even ideas. your father gets yelled at work by his own boss, the boss gets yelled at by his shareholders or clients, and so on. each of them copes with their frustrations by exercising power on those weaker than them. many wizards that live with their parents earn money, they're worth their weight and then some, but did the abuse stop? of course it didn't, the parents still see them as weak and subservient, so they exercise what little power they have and yell at them for having fun on the computer or not reaching so-and-so milestone or whatever, they can always find something.

you should try to gain power in this relationship. when your mother or father berates you for something, make sure you do the opposite. if they say be careful with so-and-so, make sure you deliberately fuck it up and have them witness that it was to spite them. eventually they will think twice before speaking up. then, make sure that you are always enjoying yourself and being happy (even when you really aren't). if they come home from work and they are demonstrating or complaining how tired they are, tell them about your day where you did absolutely nothing and make sure they understand that they are fundamentally under you. they slave while you stay at home and enjoy yourself, guilt free! initially, this might anger them, but if you stay on that anger and hold your ground, they will give up, because they are fundamentally also weak. they are fighting on another front already, they lack the energy, they will eventually say, ah, let him be, there is nothing to be done. and that, is when you win. when you morally defeat them and turn the suffering on them.

you shouldn't feel guilty about being a leech, wiz. it's your one source of power. you have no money, no friends, you don't even have peace in your own home. you should use it, make your parents suffer, make them regret the pleasure they had while fornicating, let them regret the sweet act that brought you into this world of suffering. yes, that is when you truly win. then with that mindset, go out into the world and dish out more punishment. treat only those with kindness that treat you FIRST with kindness, everyone else deserves the back of your hand. that is how you earn respect and that is how you live in this world.

I used to feel like this, now I just want to hang myself, no longer trying to get better.
There is something fundamentally lame about living anyway, you spend like 95 percent of the time struggling, suffering, surviving, for what exactly? This slow rotting and dying is inevitable and your dream existence is never coming. Might as well just get it over with.

I didn't read any of that but the solution is to take daily action start with something small and then gradually build up. Stop thinking so much and writing blogposts.

Get a skill, you may have to go to uni, or a trade school, or military. You already want to die, probably because you are paralyzed and not doing anything and self-hating on that account. Just do something SUSTAINED.

I can relate.

I'm exhausted of being paralyzed, that's either due for being so slack or become instantly petrified at imminent danger.

Breaking this addictive cycle is so damn hard, plus, you have to withstand your peers actually arousing to action and surpass you in every way while life goes on. It's tiresome.

>>306972
I have already went to a uni, but if I were to unfairly judge your comment, even though you gave me a fairly good advice, I would say you don't live in third world. While certainly your advice has a lot of merit as people who I studied with are doing relatively better in their lives.
>>306993
Absolutely but I feel like what good was the uni that I went to or what good were the actions I took if I had to end up unemployed where every day is the same except the disrespect and disdain towards someone like me goes up.

>>306965
You're absolutely right it's mostly because I am weak to be honest with you, but I don't feel like I deserve it but more like I bought it upon myself, now here's the thing I can't really do the opposite because I am dependent upon them for food and shelter. Honestly, yes, in some ways I do believe that they do share some responsibility for me, but then again I am also an odd one out and I also want to move out, which I am trying to if I am being honest, but yes, I should work on not feeling guilty.

I will say this, I really really hate my parents, I actually hope they die as soon as possible, the bitch mother, the absolute deadbeat son of a bitch father who is so retarded that he belives changing engine oil is a scam and just doesn't do it. And I live in a po motherfucking shithole like India. While people outside mostly hate us for other problems like shitting on streets and my ugly looks. There are other problems with this society that sadly outsiders do not know about that truly make life miserable. Things that you don't associate with India like draconian control of Indian Government over the citizens, the absolute anti-meritocratic behaviour.

Making it illegal for parents to abandon their daughter but legal to kick their sons out but illegal for sons to not provide for their parents. Sons of bitches. Things like mob lynching when a succubus complains about harassment. Things like, and this a real thing "legal terrorism" with trials going on for over a decade where you loose your job and dignity and is worse than prision cause you're always living in fear. Things like if you get into a fender bender with a bitch and she goes to the police and says that the other guy was harassing her and then asking the guy for settlement and worse then ruining thr guys life by having him beaten by police which is the norm here. Or feminist types intentionally filing fake cases which India takes very seriously.

Cause because of our global reputation and how we are exactly opposite of Russians who believe in their culture that "One shouldn't air dirty laundry out in the open". We believe the exact opposite, a bitch is raped (fake) and it is international news cause people protest so much. Not focusing on real problems that India has. Things like being killed by stray dogs we have hundreds of millions of stray dogs and our vaccines do not work.

Things like parents kicking their children out and then filing a case of theft of clothes on the kids and then getting them beaten by police. Things like homeless people getting their arms chopped off for something we call "pity factor" to make them beg. These kind of things never make the news.

And of course I am an adult male living with parents so fault is mine. Fault is mine that I wasn't good at studies. Fault is mine for not being able to learn. And since my benevolent parents are keeping me with them, they must be really nice people, and I should shut up and let them rape the absolute hell of my life everyday.

What I wrote at 3AM doesn't make any sense cause I am really really pissed. All these motherfuckers keep dying but my parents don't die. Actually I don't want them to die. I just want to take myself out of their home. I really really hate living here. I wish someone someone goddamn it could help me. But that's not how life works, everything is transactional and the state is all too powerful, the police has now started using tools like cellebrite. And most people will be shocked to hear this but we have most CCTVs per 1000 people even when compared to China.

I hate it here. Everyday is a slog. Everyday is a fight. Everything, whether it's queuing for a 20 rupees meal is a fight. And no one is competent in their jobs. The mechanics can't fix cars properly, do not know what a torque wrench is. All I ever wanted was to live with dignity. I genuinely hate being born here. Honestly this is it, this is the clearest sign that God has given me to finally put on my headphones and die on a train track like a true subhuman. Fuck it. I hope I die as soon as possible. Fuck everyone.

>>307365
One of my biggest fears is after I kill myself I end up reincarnating in India as a fully self-aware conscious being like I am right now but still powerless to escape. It seems like every evil, ugliness and injustice of this world is 1000 times more pronounced in India. If I was in your situation, I would be speedrunning to suicide, but I don't know what kind of vindictive being rules this world, I am deeply afraid that "he" won't like how I died or that I cheated and escaped suffering and that he will just decide to throw me in again with even worse circumstances. Being reborn as an animal wouldn't be so bad, they suffer but they are also limited in consciousness. The human still has the highest potential ceiling for suffering and it is perhaps no accident that the most souls brought into this world are born in such hellscapes.

People interchange surviving and living. The most of the time you think you are surviving you are actually just living. Surviving only takes a small part in life. And that is the problem and curse that we don't see that.

>>307366
Can't say anything about reincarnation even though I live in India since there are more people today than there were 5000 years ago, I believen we can toss the idea of incarnation out of the window.

Problems with India are very different than what outsiders like to think believe it or not, this is one of the most pro bitch country out there despite also being very hostile to bitches on rape level. Although I am not concerned about that too much cause I got nothing to do with succubi.

But the problems here are those that you don't see, fo example it's the norm for teachers to bear students in front of the class, and slap them so hard that they lose hearing, abd parents support it in the name of instilling manners. If there is a job opening for 10 people, your entire town will be burdened by 10,000 applicants.

For every single thing there is a competitive exam, for every single goddamn thing, the Indian Government divides castes into four categories. If you're not from the bottom category, you don't get any affirmative action or boost in rankings, but at the same time you don't want your doctor yo be from a quota but because of sheer population even quota doesn't help the lower category ones either.

Colleges are hell, with absolute rat like behaviour of teachers trying to fail everyone cause problems for the future and directly saying you need to bootlick us. Driving is horrible, not because of the lack of following traffic laws, but because people are ready to fight and kill. succubi are ready to file rape charges for slightly tapping their bumpers. People just want to kill here. They are so frustrated that they love mob justice.

Cases is courts drag on for 30 years, prisons in this country have rats the size of cats. I mean, the worst part is if you're lower middle class male like me who is not from a backward category as deemed by the government. You're fucked. Because if you move out of the house for some blue collar job, you'll end up worse than before. And if you don't the boomer parents of mine, who got everything handed to them will not let you live.

I cannnot state how much I truly hate my parents, my hatred towards them is only dwarfed by my hatred towards myself for being dependent upon them. I truly wish that someone beats the living hell out of my parents, hell I would have done it myself. But he could just go to the police and police will beat the hell out of me because police brutality is supported by average population and encouraged. I hate to say this but as much as I would like to kill myself, and this is interesting, most Indian won't because they have just invested too much in life. They have just struggled so much it's unbelievable.

Struggle in areas like getting a driving licence where 1000 people stand in a line literally dick on ass, leaving no space amongst themselves for 6 hours for 5 days just to get a licence.

The sheer struggle to get past the damn school which makes sure that your parents stand with the school against you. This is a shithole like no other, which is why India is actually safe because so many people have invested so much in things that they just don't want to fight the system which is why there will be no civil war.

I truly wish I was born in Somalia or Gaza or something because at least there I wouldn't have to worry about things and hopefully a bomb would kill me. And the curse is such that even in India, I am a bottom of the barrel subhuman sub-3 male which means a lot of jobs like being a flight attendant (which is an A grade job in India) are inaccessible to me. It's nuts how every job here has a competitive exam and only top 0.1% get selected.

Honestly, at this point, the only way I make my life bearable here is by watching North Korean documentaries which help make me feel grateful for the fact that I can at least browse the internet or post here. I almost tey to steer clear of developed countries and their media cause seeing life there.

Seeing the fact that a Toyota Camry is taxi in the U.S. and that in the U.S. everyone owns a car while car ownership rate in India is like 8%. And believe it or not my dream car is a Toyota Camry which is a Luxury Executive Sedan here. And I will never be able to touch it.

Well I got bigger problems than not owning a car like not having a job and everything. I genuinely detest my parents, good thing I will never get married because I am sub-3 and my dick doesn't work. But even if I was a normie I would never have kids in this country. And I am surprised why my parents decided to have me in poverty, actually worse lower middle class cause the poor at least us more happy here cause he doesn't have much to lose.

>>307366
When thinking about reincarnation I keep wondering why the hell would God, the Universe or whatever limit you to just one planet, just to one species. Never understood this point of view.
Also, even though pajeeting is a horrible prospect for the afterlife but I can think of thousand worse hells.

>>307374
wizhell
i'd actually pick north korea over it

>>307374
>I am surprised why my parents decided to have me in poverty
Most kids born in India and China are expected to provide for the parents after 20 years or so. Your parents took that gamble and lost.