No.307210[Last 50 Posts]
Post here if you don't have enough to say for a new thread, but it's too depressing for the crawl thread.
Previous:
>>306157 No.307211
oh boy, i sure hope no one starts crying about the depressed succubus in the OP. i mean, do we really want to represent wizard depression like this? i am losing testosterone just looking at it!! should've put Guts image instead smh
No.307212
>>307211There has been an undeniable surge of trooncore related images here. This place is rotten.
No.307216
people who associate anime with troons are mind rotten gen alpha faggots who should kill themselves as soon as possible.
No.307218
>>307216Nobody is associating anime with any sort of homosexuality. I'm sure you were part of the conversation in the other thread. You're either purposely ignoring what was said and clarified several times or you're genuinely retarded and / or ESL.
No.307220
All this over the OP pic reminds me of when people would have fights over the fap thread picture…
No.307221
>>307220And then there was the Sonic The Crawlhog fiasco
No.307225
>>307223I have often felt terrible and had nasty depressive episodes during late autumn/early winter mostly due to short days and long nights. It got a bit softer with age though. I also feel shitty on very hot/very cloudy days sometimes.
No.307227
>>307223>depressed because of the weatherSince november we've had a dull grey weather, not snow, not rain, but thick colorless slop of a weather. It was horrible. And still is, god damn it, 3 degrees C and god damn clouds with no sun visible. I hate this
No.307229
>>307218he's right. go on 4chan you'll see
No.307231
>>307230
what's your story? 99% it's the same cookie cutter wizard origin story. we just differ in how we cope. some fall into resignation, others try to overcompensate, another simply detaches from the world completely using drugs/alcohol.
No.307232
>>307231>some fall into resignation, others try to overcompensate, another simply detaches from the world completely using drugs/alcoholand some just wageslave mindlessly. don't forget them. please
No.307233
>>307223The pic is the Hermit Tarot card?
>>307232Others Cope with Magick (or ceremonial magic)
or Meditation…
or Hypnosis.
No.307236
>>307232wageslaving can fall into all three categories. wageslaving in order to compensate for perceived failures through career success, wageslaving out of resignation i.e. doing the shittiest job just to get by and survive, and finally, wageslaving in order to detach because a busy, hectic working lifestyle allows one to not perceive their problems.
>>307233magic is a weird one. i think it falls into the power fantasy category and it's ultimately a way of detachment. meditation and hypnosis, both strategies of detachment.
>>307235i wish i liked myself. other people liking me doesn't do anything for me, it just feels extremely fake, gay or cringe.
No.307238
>>307236>magic is a weird one. i think it falls into the power fantasy category and it's ultimately a way of detachment. meditation and hypnosis, both strategies of detachment.Meditation just relaxes you and can help you focus, although I’ve read that for some neurotic people with issues, it actually makes things worse. some advanced guys can get side psychological effects with psydodelia things.
Hypnosis can boost your self-esteem or teach you to recognize that certain thoughts are ultimately unnecessary and stupid, and can mess with your health if you dwell on them too much. There are also hypnosis techniques that relax you because they focus your attention and are similar to meditation
some advanded guys into this can do triggers or shift or usa visualization for special things
And magic or ceremonial magic is just a bias, although I read somewhere that ritualism and beliefs can help you cope with shit even if you’re just waiting for regression to the mean, have cognitive biases, or are just playing with placebos and faith.
Some genuinely believe they’re summoning occult forces, others believe in all that manifestation crap, and still others believe that all this stuff about magic, willpower, manifestation, and so on is just a shift in cognition and consciousness.
Some advanced guys say its just meditation and hypnosis and visualization and some psychodrama, hypnosis in a way.
Some CBT techniques are similar to some used in ritual magick, in a way all can be used as the same phenomena to cope and can be healthy if you're not prone to fantasies and bad delusions.
No.307240
>>307238>Some advanced guys say its just meditation and hypnosis and visualization and some psychodrama, hypnosis in a way.>Some CBT techniques are similar to some used in ritual magick, in a way all can be used as the same phenomena to cope and can be healthy if you're not prone to fantasies and bad delusions.I'm general against fluffbunnies thing and wiccan crap but this succubi in general usa a lot of times psychological and in a way scientific and material jargon that's she know its works around placebos and ritualism so in a way have my respect bacause act more into post-modern chaoism than a lot of assholes channels.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNGp7zNrG2ISo, believe it or not, maybe Wiccan succubi and others anons sometimes use psychological techniques similar to meditation, hypnosis, and psychodrama just to change their behaviour and life the magic thinkin is just beliefs.
No.307243
What's worse than being stuck in this misery alone is having a brother that you have to watch go down the same path as you and there's nothing you can do about it. Or maybe there is something that can be done but I'm too incapable to do whatever that is.
>>307223When it's too sunny outside it makes me feel miserable.
No.307244
how long before wizchan goes into the grave like hotwheels?
No.307248
>>307244> like hotwheels?Wait, is he finally dead? I remember when he first became a public figure, he would always say something like "i could die anytime, the average lifespan for people with this disease is short and im long overdue!" or something like that. That was pre 2015, today with the vaxsneed shitshow and everyone developing aids-lite and cancer, I wonder how long he'd last
No.307249
>>307248He died from literal gay sex
No.307251
>>307250By being a frail little midge with 3" of intestinal tract. The extra half inch of his boyfriend's wiener popped Freddy like a balloon. This isn't crude humor, it actually happened.
No.307255
I feel like even simply having a healthy sleep schedule and enough sleep everyday would relieve me of 50% of my mental problems but even something as basic as sleeping well is difficult for me.
No.307257
Some former Stacy co-worker broke the fuck out of me. Worked with her at retail for almost a year and despite showing decency/friendliness to her (wasn't flirting or trying to ask her out. promise.), she refused to talk to me, say hello and yet I catch her socializing with a lot of other people. Even guys who are average-looking. This happened ever since I got the job there and I really wonder what was that I did to be hidden from her sight. Was it because I appeared to be a social retard? Again, there was no way it was the looks. That succubus doesn't work there anymore but she occasionally shops at our store as a customer and yet still gives me this dumb treatment. What exactly did I do to deserve this? It's been half a year since she left my workplace and I still cannot stop thinking about this whole situation. It hurts.
(Again, please don't ban me for this. I'm just describing a deeply negative experience I had with a co-worker.)
No.307260
>>307257>What exactly did I do to deserve this?It's what you didn't do
>wasn't flirting or trying to ask her outFemales develop a disdain for men who aren't attracted to them - if that man is relatively normal, healthy, and attractive which you probably are.
No.307264
>>307257succubi don't treat those they aren't attracted to as humans. Water is wet.
No.307265
she likely just didn't like him and now he's forcing schizophrenia over a single fucking succ. i suggest you read some Epictetus and chill.
No.307266
>>307257why are we like this, wiz?
No.307267
Chronic pain is destroying my mind
No.307268
>>307267I hope you get better
No.307271
Well, looks like my somewhat new PC is about to get useless for a long while because some part of it is dying, and since I have no spare parts I won't be able to find what causes it. I'm still able to get it to post (in fact I'm using it right now to browse wizchan) but it becomes increasingly harder to do so. It costed me 1.500 dollars and a lot of nerves, I saved up for it for months working as a mailman in a third world country. Had do go to work almost daily, got bitten by a dog and mentally suffered everyday. And it's so ironic that it runs perfectly stable *when* it boots it just won't most of the time now, the problem is very specific looks like and I think its either faulty MoBo or PSU. RMA takes ages and I probably won't even be able to refund anything since I spilled a drink on the case about 8 months ago (doubt it's the reason since it was just a few drops and most of it got on gpu which works fine) but that's enough of a reason for them to refuse my request. Fuck my life. Goodbye video games.
No.307280
>>307272No, but I was a NEET before and now I work part time. I researched everything before building it and it posted fine. But I can't do anything about faulty board or PSU because I only know basics and like I said I don't have any spares lying around.
No.307283
test
No.307284
>>307271well, looks like you're going back to wageslave your ass for another computer
No.307286
>>307274I like your post. I save it in my screencap folder of wise words
No.307291
>>307280>>307271It's on topic because I'm depressed
No.307292
>>307284Just some part/s of it, thankfully gpu works fine
No.307297
I don't understand the crawl thread, what's it for?
No.307298
>>307297wizchan is slow and sometimes you want to post some brainfart thought or blogpost and you don't want it to be a separate thread that's going to stay up for months. the crawl thread is like a very general chatroom-like thread that incentives people to post by lowering the barrier and increasing the speed of discussion. this one is for more /dep/ like posts, the other one is for normal ones.
No.307305
>>307303i can relate somewhat. you kind of get stuck in this paralyzed state where there's nothing you can do about your current situation but you also can't brush off that sense of impending doom and guilt that ruins any fun timewasting activities that make life tolerable. like you're just constantly thinking "what am i gonna do" and scrolling through the internet, maybe listening to music while the same thought loop runs until you get tired and go to sleep.
No.307306
>>307305The worst part of it is the emptiness, when you are stuck without anything to do your brain starts to automatically overthink things and worry about the future, as opposed to when you are occupied with something that can distract you from your monkey mind
No.307308
>>307303I know you will likely scoff at such advice, but I know the feeling. We are biological machines, try eating well, sit in the sunlight in the morning with exposed skin, exercise in some way, something like pushups in your room or a walk at night. It will not completely remove dread or depression, but it will weaken the acute symptoms of it.
No.307309
>>307308Thanks a lot, I know this works from experience just not to a full degree
No.307313
I've got it really bad right now. I'm in a state of complete inconsolable anxiety about myself and the future. Far from the first time, too. Over the past decade, probably longer, I've found myself coming here to lurk when I hit this particular state. I'm deeply grateful that this place still exists and that people who feel inclined to maintain and post in a place like this are still out there.
All I really want is for everything to be ok, but nothing comes easily in this world and I am nothing but a wretched pile of flesh that is only good enough to pointlessly suffer. What am I even doing here? Why do I have to exist? What are all these other people that have their shit together made of that I'm not? Why did I have to be born into such a sick mockery of life? I've known since my earliest memories that something I couldn't understand was wrong with me, and I probably never will understand it.
Coincidentally, I'll officially be a wizard in the rapidly approaching future. It will be a great relief to me if this place is still here when the time comes.
No.307318
The only good thing about life is to lay down close eyes and imagine and think of nothing especially when there's not a single thing to do for anytime near in the future. My therapist once asked me whether it would be better if I lose everything I have now and have nothing left. Yes, as long as I have a bed a bathroom and the ability to imagine.
No.307328
>>307313>I am nothing but a wretched pile of fleshI don't agree on a technicality, I don't believe you are your body. This doesn't take away this existence in this society is absurdly painful, bitter and characterised by meaningless suffering.
No.307332
im trying to quit weed cus it was starting to make me feel gross and sick and coughing phlegm more often…so im trying to quit but the feeling they were helping to suppress are just coming back up and idk what to do. So now i'm trying to do things raw but eating feels gross and my stomach hurts and Idk if i want to deal with all of the shit I've been avoiding. Depression fuckin sucks. And i've been gaming for 8-10 hours every day to fast forward time and that's not working anymore either… so it's hard to think about passing full fucking 12-16 hours of consciousness tomorrow without anything…
No.307333
crawl…
No.307340
Sometimes I feel like I don't want anything but subsistence just a home and cheap entertainment.
No dreams, no family, no achievements, It all feels like fucking vanity and shit to me. I just hope I'm not lying to myself out of some coping mechanism, I just can't tell.
No.307346
>>307345just buy another one when it dies duh
No.307349
>>307345>Thinking about how the final reward of a life well lived is non-existenceno? it is effortlessness. it is lack of aches and pain, ease of joy and dance, reliability amidst degenerady, reason surrounded by desparation.
No.307352
>>307345If you subscribe to Egyptian mythology then your cat will accompany you forever provided you give him/her a proper burial and send off.
No.307361
>>307271UPD
PC still doesnt boot properly. PSU works and powers up everything, fans are spinning, consistent red cpu and dram orange lights on mobo and nothing from buzzer. It only boots somewhat reliably if I turn PSU off for a few hours. Tried reseating RAM and shorting cmos a few times, even removing GPU but the problem still persists. And of course when it boots it works perfectly fine.
No.307370
>>307345You might die before him. Never say it's too late before it's too late.
No.307388
ive been kind of feeling down lately, with other emotions that dont make me feel secure. im scared of the future, I feel guilty about the past. People around me seem to articulate their thoughts and emotions quite well. and here I am, stuck with the basics of basic. thats pretty much it. have nothing much to say.
No.307389
>>307345That hits in the feels. My sole companion in life is my 10 year old cat with kidney failure, have to give medicine everyday otherwise he won't eat, drink and will just rot alive. I believe when he dies I will finally attempt to exit. He is a living memory of a better time. I dread the moment we have to part, even if it sounds very melodramatic. God damn I love that furry bastard.
No.307390
>>307388>People around me seem to articulate their thoughts and emotions quite wellI am not sure normalfaggots have feelings. They seem to be soulless automatons. Running around all the time in a rat race, afraid to stop and feel something, to have a thought of their own.
No.307391
>>307346That cat's life worths more than yours
No.307392
>>307390either makes me a cyborg or an npc
No.307401
Most people are not concerned with the fact that they exist in a world they did not create
No.307404
How to deal with else sudden mind shifting alienation attacks where you realize out of thin air that everything you are, everything you do, everything you own, is just 'wrong', that something is substantially wrong about your whole being in this universe and that your conscious experience is fake and misleading, and you can feel this with your whole body and all that's left is empty pain of existing? This is awful. Give me some peace.
No.307405
>>307393I know that feel though these amphetamines arent working as well
No.307407
>>307393I'm forced to go off stimulants on the weekends due to psychiatrist and I experienced low energy, sadness, fatigue until I tried Dopa supplements.
It's not as powerful as stimulants be it really helped me with the dopamine crash. It's basically L-DOPA in a bean.
I only take them as needed because continuous use gave me facial redness, itching and blotchy skin but other than that its been a godsend to me.
No.307408
i'm full of hollow dormant hatred towards everything. if i had a super weapon i'd kill many. then myself. this world is impossible not to hate.
No.307412
>>307404Wrongness is a feeling. But what feels that feeling of wrongness and what feels 'you'? You need to find the center of being.
No.307421
>>307404Well shit, this hit home. I've also dealt with the same feeling ever since I've been a kid. The feeling that something is just "wrong", yeah seriously i get it, it's the only way to put it. I've found when the feeling attacks you and changes your entire mind for a moment, you kind of just have to suffer until it goes away. I haven't found any way to forcibly get rid of it.
No.307426
>>307393I'm sorry to hear this wiz. When I used to fuck around with modafinil I got extreme insomnia and painful vasoconstruction. I know amphs are different and better though
>>307404try to pin down more accurately what this feeling and thoughts is ofcourse
No.307430
constantly anxious things will go wrong due to my behavior. unfortunately this feeling of constantly paranoia is actually proven. Afraid of breaking something important, or doing something so dumb id be in legal trouble. the feeling never goes away unless I numb myself.
No.307431
>>307430It's because of the hyper sensible anti-normie society we live in where anything not normie approved will be regarded against you especially things like character, communication, appearance, movement, behaviour and facial or bodily expressions.
No.307432
>>307431*Damn I meant anti-reclusive society. My brain is unreliable as always.
No.307436
Humans were designed to drink and do drugs. There's simply no other means to exist.
No.307437
>>307436Peoples' lives tend to be better in all metrics when they do neither of those things.
No.307438
>>307361UPD 2
Barely made it to post today after half a dozen or so tries. Whatever causes that problem it clearly keeps getting worse. I have no other choice but to seek help, which sucks because I don't have a car nor can I afford it since I used to be a neet for 10+ years instead of wageslaving. However, the PC still works fine so I will just keep it on 24/7 for a few weeks. Fuck, I should have brought a laptop instead, my old one still works after 11 years.
No.307443
>>307223During the colder months I become miserable and during the warmer months I anger easily at nothing. Especially living somewhere without AC.
No.307445
I just did something im deeply ashamed of. Im quickly and uncontrollably spiraling down the rabbit hole of sexual degeneracy… I dont want to be like this, but it just seems futile. So I will try something else, im just gonna wind down completely, I have yet so many to-do tasks to complete, actually productive and healthy shit. But im just not gonna do that either. No degen, no health, nothing, just me box breathing staring at my ceiling hoping this cursed addiction passes, it will, but it will return with a vengeance eventually
No.307448
it's been two weeks or so I want to shoot my face with a gun. I think I'm depressed again…
No.307451
>>307445ngmi. takes years to condition yourself to be able to btfo these delusional spirals
No.307452
>>307451How? I think my problem is the compulsions come back right as im putting effort to improve my life. This seems to be a common problem, guys stress themselves and goon in the worst possible ways to relieve stress, the addiction may go into remission for as long as things are good in their lives but almost like alcohol it takes just one episode for all to crumble down
Ive read some selfhelp and gooning recovery blogs, and they seem to agree that the type of addiction itself is the least relevant portion of it because they all share the same root of filling a void and relieving stress
No.307453
>>307445>spiraling down the rabbit hole of sexual degeneracy…It's because of craving for novelty. A common thing among gooners.
> it will return with a vengeance eventuallyThey key is not to buy what it tries to sell you. It is easy to stay away from it when you know it will bring you suffering, but when it whispers with waves of arousal, sweetly promising great pleasure, it's much more diffucult. Though i've realized that if you tolerate those whispers without answering, they disappear. The more you ignore them, the less they have sway over your actions.
Although you need to stop guilt tripping yourself. Accept it and move on, don't fight the mills of 'fetishes', they are impossible to get rid of fully, because it's like fighting air and there will never be certainty that you've got rid of them.
No.307454
idk monkeys goon too when they're bored i think it's not that big of a deal unless it gets in the way of keeping alive which it probably doesn't.
No.307456
>>307452through internal dialogue and self analysis. metacognition. you must question the roots of your every action and over the years you'll figure it out. also do some math when you have energy and free time to make your brain more fit. also maybe get into memory techniques for exercise. and remember to not set any quantitative aims such as i'll become this good at that or that good at this. it's gonna ruin you. this is subconscious competition mode and must avoid competition till you're ready what's even more important you must never compete where you don't belong. tldr mind your business. good luck have fun
t. depressed suicidal faggot who's probably just temporary recuperated thanks to some D3 vitamins mmmmm delicious
No.307457
>>307456>D3 vitaminsI don't know if it that was it, but ever since I started taking vitamins (multivitamin, zinc+d3, magnesium) I've been feeling much better. I have almost no background anxiety and much more energy.
No.307459
>>307454Monkeys also throw their feces at each other. Wanna do it?
No.307466
Any other person just had their parents and, bewilderingly, their teachers do their best to induce learned helplessness in them growing up?
I remember at middle school our teacher once a week would go on about how every business gets a gorrilion CVs, you'll NEVER get a job, it's basically impossible to get employed anywhere unless you're the best of the best 3%. I remember the effect of it was that people simply stopped trying lol.
Then around 15-18 I got it from my parents. When I went about wanting to do the most basic shit like get a part time job, get employed, move out, get my driver's licence. They'd just constantly neg about how I'm underestimating how hard it is, that I'll fail several times on the test, that every rental has a gorrilion applicants and they'll never EVER accept a teenager like me who has no history….When really it was a control thing where they wanted to be the ones setting up my living accommodation and employment, and then I they could call me "ungrateful" if I ever stepped out of line.
I've noticed it's extremely common with old people now to literally treat their children like potential competition instead of nurturing them, and they're pretty shit-scared of being alone in old age that many would rather have dependent failsons than successful independent children. I've noticed that they themselves dumped their parents at the age of 15, spent their lives talking shit about them, and then suddenly got worried about the same thing happening to them.
No.307467
>>307457are you in us eu or elsewhere? just wondering if you got some tips figuring out what exactly i should ask for in the pharma shop because uhh i don't wanna come off as a clueless retard because that will make me very suicidal again
No.307470
>>307467>are you in us eu or elsewhere? I am in a shitholest shilhole, it is located in Europe but not in EU.
>what exactly i should ask You can start with what i've mentioned. Something with many vitamins at once, d3+zinc (usually they are together, sometimes with vitamin c), magnesium (better buy separately). You can't go wrong with something like that
No.307472
>>307471Yes. Prisoner-citizen of a certain slavic (for now) shithole.
No.307477
I have to move forward. I don't want to but I have to. There is no other way.
No.307480
>>307478It's not alright, but yeah.
No.307482
>>307475I WISH.
Pooukraine.
>>307479Thanks but things are grim and will be even worse. So far I've managed to survive thanks to distance job but the moment they start going door to door, it's over.
No.307484
Guess not everybody can have the same things in life…
No.307485
My toilet leaks. My fucking white throne is impossible to use. I have to shit in a trash bag. I feel wretched.
I will call a plumber in the morning but I dread having a stranger in my house as well as the possibility of needing to buy a new toilet or something. I want to die.
No.307489
>>307482why are you not draft to participate to the war and sent to the front line yet?
No.307496
>>307466People who were smothered have no fight in them and never get anywhere because all life has been drained out of them.
No.307498
>>307489Because I am actively avoiding it.
No.307500
>>307498Don't you have any desire to kill? To defend the land that is yours? To drive cool trucks through the mud and shoot guns at people you don't like? It sounds awesome.
No.307501
>>307485don't worry wiz it's gonna be okay
No.307502
>>307500lmao why don't you go get drafted yourself? there's a bunch of cool conflicts in the near east.
No.307504
>>307453>>307453>It's because of craving for novelty. A common thing among gooners.Novelty, yeah.. of course. Why and how to stop it is what I must know.
>They key is not to buy what it tries to sell you. It is easy to stay away from it when you know it will bring you sufferingOh boy do I know about that, I like going on porn addiction and deviant subreddits to read the absolute trainwreck lives of people who dont stop before it gets out of control. I know better than anyone how bad it is. And yet, when arousal comes in its literally worthless. Post nut clarity is a thing for a reason, reason leaves your mind when the dick is throbbing its just how it is man
>Though i've realized that if you tolerate those whispers without answering, they disappear. The more you ignore them, the less they have sway over your actions.My problem has gradually escalated over the course of 3 years. I can ignore them today, tomorrow, next month. But it always returns, and I always relapse. The biggest issue is how each relapse potentiates the addiction, much like alcohol kindling.
>Although you need to stop guilt tripping yourself. Accept it and move on, don't fight the mills of 'fetishes', they are impossible to get rid of fully, because it's like fighting air and there will never be certainty that you've got rid of them.Anon nooooooooooooooooooo…. you have no idea how incredibly demoralizing this sounds.
>>307456>you must question the roots of your every action and over the years you'll figure it out.I already did and all I discovered was that the only thing that could potentially make my life bearable is money for moving out. That is out of question so the next closest answer was that I MUST kill myself.
>also do some math when you have energy and free time to make your brain more fit. also maybe get into memory techniques for exercise."Brain games" have no longlasting effect on cognition, theyre a meme, the only that barely makes a dent are N-back type games. But its a drop of water in the hellfire ocean that is gooning
>who's probably just temporary recuperated thanks to some D3 vitamins mmmmm deliciousSee thats the thing, these things help but only temporarily. Since you brought it up first, why dont you tell me about AMPA receptors, glutamate/GABA, chronic inflammation and their role in addiction, OCD and intrusive thoughts in general…
Its so bleak thinking about it and realizing that we may never fully break free from the chains of addiction. However! I aint giving up so easily. Today is the fourth day im on high dose L-theanine (200mg-400mg). Why theanine? Because I noticed with curiosity that the cravings only come back after a stressful day (im trying to run a small online "business" lmao for beer money) where I goon and escalate towards what I fear. Everytime without fail. Today I also decided to take my pills with Zinc and B6 (ive been taking them for months with mixed results). The result? I didnt get sleepy like last time. My focus improved notably but not much. The cravings remained but the reward didnt just feel the same, that is I watched porn but I didnt feel satisfied or anything at all. Idk.
>>307466My parents were like that but im pretty sure it stemmed more from fear and anxiety than outright controlling nature although that played a part too. My parents pushed me to get my drivers license as soon as I turned 18, I learned and then… nothing happened. I drove here and there, uni stuff from which I dropped out anyway lol. But my parents kept doing that annoying shit where their only input would be fear and avoidance "dont do this it wont work" "dont do that its dangerous"
>to literally treat their children like potential competition instead of nurturing themThe Eternal Boomer. I dont know what went wrong with them but youre spot on, never seen a generation so blatantly ignorant of the concept of generational wealth. Instead of helping you out, they do their best to cap you to "build character" or some utterly retarded excuse. This is what unprecented wealth and prosperity does to a mf, a completely stunted worldview and massive egocentrism. All they did was project their issues on us
No.307505
>>307504>"Brain games" have no longlasting effect on cognitionthey do if you're consistent enough
>why dont you tell me aboutcuz i'm a lazy fuck
>Its so bleak thinking about it and realizing that we may never fully break free from the chains of addiction.nah you'll be fine i'm sure of it
No.307506
>>307504>Anon nooooooooooooooooooo…. you have no idea how incredibly demoralizing this sounds.Yeah, it is. But there is no other way. I have OCD based on my fetish, years of torment trying to fight it led me nowhere. I accept it now.
Accepting doesn't mean indulging in it though or gooning even further down the spiral. Practice nofap, no porn. And seek within. You will get it.
No.307511
>>307510>Well, bedrotting all day and smelling bad and becoming borderline retarded due to cognitive difficulties is also the face of depression, but the face of depression is a high functioning normie who is sad inside :(hahahah fucking motherfucker this shit made me laugh alot hahaha bacause… yes, is true as fuck to me.
>becoming borderline retarded due to cognitive difficulties0 social skills, 0 social connection out of family maybe make up you in a way retard bacause the social part of your brain is fucked and stop working and this just fuck up other part of your brain and…
>This makes me irrationally angry.Well, the image is the typical media image to normalize that any can have deppresion isn't as obvious as it seems even the normie with some routine and frie…. fuck this bullshit.
No.307514
>>307510I'd be really upset and trying to hide it too if some onibabas came to sit next to me on the trolley
No.307528
I sometimes feel like the world might be great for many people and despite having spent a long amount of time on my own not feeling very happy about life for a multitude of reasons, I still have this inner child-like innocence within me that I have made it my only purpose to try and retain. Sometimes when I imagine life and its many possibilities, I can imagine in my head situations where specific people manage specific things, many of which I would definitely want to have within my life as well. But then I realize that I feel as though my presence within such situations, among these people, would eventually sully or make the context impure or something similar to that. Pretty much what I mean by this is that I realize that life can be good, very good, for specific people and they live surrounded by similar people to themselves and they get along, they are happy, and they feel satisfied with life. I just wouldn't fit in within such a context. I can't seem to imagine myself in any positive situation despite being fully aware of the fact that these situations do exist and happen in the real world. I've come to understand somewhat that instead of me being present in such situations, that instead I should accept that life is about shifting things that change constantly. Transience, as a whole, is a big part of what life is about. I understand that maybe it's not as extreme as I envision it in my mind, there's nothing wrong with settling down somewhere, having contact with people, relationships and similar things to that. But at the same time, I don't really enjoy the thought in itself. I'm having a tough time trying to describe exactly what I feel with this post, but it's as if I have resigned myself from life. And what I mean by that is that; I don't necessarily want to be happy any longer. I'm not going to spend my time feeling bitter about things that happened in the past, I'm not going to feel regret of not doing specific things, I don't want to spend the remaining of my life thinking about how things could have been way better. I don't feel like I want to be someone else. Because in the end, the things I have experienced and the attitudes that I overtime have turned into my own personality, are the very things that define me as a person. So, instead of feeling sad angry or anything like that, I just have to accept the fact that things eventually went as they did and that maybe it was sort of inevitable. I know it may sound like a real cope and that I could definitely try and improve my life, and that maybe it would work out as well. But what I'm trying to convey is that, even if it doesn't go the way that I want it to go, that maybe someone else might have managed what I wanted, someone else filled my position, someone else might have lived some of the things that I really wanted to live. There's some type of recognition of the fact that even if I might not be the one lucky enough to maybe get those things that I dearly want, someone else might. And I guess, in a sense, it just goes to show that it is possible. They are actual possibilities that take place in the real world with specific people, they are able to live what I dreamt of and wanted for so long. These people were suited to live those things, and they live it, and they do their best and perform, things I could never in my entire life aspire to do. It's not like a second hand type of happiness, it's more like that I enjoy hearing about the fact that my dreams are possible for specific people, just not for me. And that's fine. I'm not living vicariously through others and their successes, it's just that some people were cut out to be specific people and have specific qualities to them that made them manage their lives in ways that I couldn't. I'm just trying to say that I am myself, and if being myself means that I'm not able to reach specific things, then that's fine, I don't feel any negative emotion about that. This is not to say that I don't want to try doing things, I'm just not going to feel bad if I fail because if I do then it just means that I'm not the right person for that specific task. And that's fine.
No.307535
not wanting to work is valid. labor is a waste of life when the only reward you have for it is a rent shack and some consumerist shallow entertainment like computer games which are all almost exclusively third rate shit these days.
No.307586
Honestly living in the third world the biggest thing I hate is how much big pieces of shit the people are when it comes to owning cars, my retarded "father" is literally a faggot.
He has a 20 year old car with a timing belt that screams every once a goddamn weak wanting to be changed, but here's the thing the moron actually believes it's a good sign. While driving in the rains and in slight puddles, water wasn't even enough to touch the exhaust of the car, let alone get in the intake the car was struggling. Some cylinders weren't firing cause the belt was slipping causing some issues with the electrical system and engine was jerking and the moron looks at me and tells me it's happening because I don't know how to dump the clutch.
And he actually started shouting at me as if abusing me growing up wasn't enough, the way some people treat their cars is unbelievable, now if I go to this moron and tell him that a 300 rupee timing belt is way cheaper compared to a 30000 rupees engine-work, the moron just goes ahead ands says "I have been driving for decades, what do you know? If the belt had to snap it would've snapped way earlier but it didn't which means it's still good, and you don't know a damn thing about cars".
Words do not describe how much I truly hate faggots like him, he clearly had the money to buy a car two decades ago when he did, and this is how he treats it, while as someone who is unemployed my entire life-goal is to buy a car, believe it or not where I live Toyota Camry is practically a luxury car. If you were to ask me why I haven't killed myself and that is solely because I want to buy a good car. Not that I will ever be able to, but gotta love that faggot, ruined the complete cheap little Hyundai car that he bought. There is nothing else that I would like in my life then to beat the absolute living crap out of this idiot, but here we are. I truly, from the bottom of my heart hate my father. And most normies in my country keep cars like he does, well actually not most but this idiot certainly does.
I do understand it's not very wiz like to engage in consumerism and pleasures like owning something made out of rubber, glass, and metal. But the thing is I hate my life, not because normies said so but I do.
I feel like I am doing everything and nothing to get out of the position that I am in. But god do I really REALLY HATE MY FUCKING FATHER.
No.307589
>>307586I am so sorry you got a father somewhat similar to my father.
Mine though my attemt to hug him was actually a bad sign so from that day, I am no more the person I used to be. Sometimes I think it was some really weird incident that involved (w)hacking reality just to made me suffer.
No.307591
>>307388>People around me seem to articulate their thoughts and emotions quite well.I notice this too and it bugs me but if they've had contexts where they've actually been allowed to articulate their inner thoughts and those thoughts were accepted it makes complete sense they can and we can't.
Also, if they've been in those contexts often, then the thoughts they experience are themselves going to be more boilerplate and template-y and more acceptable, ergo things compound and they retain a relatable baseline.
This is probably not unlike learning an artistic skill and developing a shorthand or visual library, only it's made up of thoughts and feelings which coalesce in the middle of a sort of experiential Venn diagram of normalness.
Imagine normalguy 1a) tells normalgirl 2b) his dog died. This is a very socially acceptable and workable problem for normalgirl; express condolences, relate with when my_dog died, both parties feel good having their own internal world and experiences reflected back through the other. Instead, let's say weirdguy 3c) tries relaying his feelings of deep-seated alienation and melancholy to either of the above parties — it won't work, for obvious reasons.
Isolation is like quicksand, the further down the sinkhole you are the more alien and twisted your thoughts and experiences become, making it progressively harder to relate to people or get yourself out of it, so you get more lonely and the process loops.
Today at work the door was left open to the office and I heard people outside laughing and having fun, and I got pissed off and jealous; pissed off with myself for being such a broken wreck of a person, hating myself and being incongruent with everything, and jealous of the fun they were having. Could anyone there relate to that? Unlikely, and they'd probably think I'm a bad, strange little man for experiencing an overwhelmingly good thing like laughter with scrouge-like despondency.
It'd be almost impossible for me to articulate this to anyone so I don't. My thoughts and emotions are too maladapted to be shared but like any person I *want* to share them, to have my experiences validated by another fleshy meat bag, but no good can come of it, so I don't. The good news is it only takes one slightly embodied and seemingly genuine human-to-human interaction to pull me out of it, but this only helps briefly and the juxtaposition hurts more.
I have in the past expressed how I feel about certain things only for it to be dismissed and even ridiculed, so that stops me too — even from people with largely good intentions who were trying to help. You might say things and get a long pause, or they redirect it back in a way that misses what you were saying, or reduces it. That feels worse than staying bottled up. You tried and got dick. It reconfirms what you were suspicious of in the first place; you are other-than and alien and there's "no language in (y)our lungs" (like that XTC song).
No.307595
>>307591tl;dr but if you just want your opinions accepted simply express the normalnigger opinions and watch them approve you.
emotions are void my wizbro. they have no essence, they're just stimuli that inform you about the events. process them, dissemble them to their core, make conclusions, move on. there are no reasons to articulate or even voice them. niggers do it for social signaling and other social rituals. if you know what emotions are and what they consist of, you can plausibly fake them to participate in whatever social ritual you need to.
your desire to articulate your emotions is just a sign of your lack of self awareness. develop your metacognition better.
No.307596
foids laughing smugly trigger some maniacal compulsions in me
No.307597
>>307596Their laughter isn't geniune. In fact, they laugh to hide their negative emotions. They are fake in everything, their friendships, their niceness. I've spent 4 years in univercity with mostly succubi. They are horrible creatures.
No.307599
>>307595I always thought of emotions as judgements as it is perceiving and judging the situation oriented towards you.
Like someone depressed can be happy they get a deadly cancer while most people will be sad and have other negative emotions
No.307600
>>307589I feel the same way and worse where I live there are no such things as child protective services either.
No.307601
Woke up from a dream that made me want to kill myself.
No.307602
>>307601What was it about? I find even nightmares sometimes are better than this life.
No.307604
Feeling like hammered shit all out of sudden.
Is the contrary to being depressed the absence of it not necessarily happy, just emptiness?
There were some (very few) things bothering I managed to get off my chest yet all I got was a plain and simple "There is no room for celebration either. It was your obligation to do so".
No.307612
Thinking about giving up
No.307615
thinking about giving it another shot
No.307619
>>307615think about giving it a wipe
No.307620
Will venlafaxine + mirtazapine help me go to work? Or what would be best for me?
i have severe depression with almost zero energy — I currently can’t work and need to become functional again.
Past meds:
Venlafaxine (300 mg) → 15h sleep, emotional numbness, no motivation Amitriptyline (150 mg) → only thing that made me functional (could study, handle tasks), but intolerable side effects (BP, cognitive issues) Fluoxetine → helped anxiety and ideas of reference, but after ~2.5 months caused strong apathy
Tried multiple SSRIs, milnacipran, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers — no success.
Limitations: Stimulants and bupropion are not available in my country, MAOIs also not an option.
Current prescription: Venlafaxine (~225 mg) + mirtazapine (30–45 mg)
Questions:
Is this combo likely to improve energy and functional ability (working) compared to venlafaxine alone? Or does my past reaction suggest I’ll likely get the same apathy again? Are there alternative strategies I should consider given my constraints?
No.307632
Its been like a week since I started taking l-theanine. Some short findings about it. The 2 most noticeable things have been that my stress tolerance, physical at least seems a bit higher, consistently. That is, I can walk around without food or water, against the clock, sleep 1-3 hours and NOT feel like im fucking dying. I do feel like shit obviously, but my heart rate doesnt shoot up and my chest doesnt feel uncomfortably tight anymore. The other thing is, im the guy that wrote about dealing with fetish/addictions above yeah eheheheh, yeah… uh, the intrusive thoughts are quiet now. IF I indulge in it, it comes back, but otherwise theyre not 24/7 torturing me. Unfortunately, the mental focus improvement has plateaued, le good ol adhd scatterbrain has come back, probably my fault for still not cleaning my room and not sleeping as I should. Fuck I actually missed some payments and purchases yesterday. Another positive is oh my fucking good music sounds SO good now. Something unexpected is that now if I force myself to coom, my orgasm is very(very!) dull and dry, would that indeed point towards an involvement of unregulated gaba/glutamatergic system? I guess so.
No.307633
>>307632>Something unexpected is that now if I force myself to coom, my orgasm is very(very!) dull and dryI believe I replied to your posts in this thread, I am a fellow gooner with this addiction. It is not connected to theanine or any other stuff. It is called 'a flatline' and it's a direct consequence of GOOOOOOOOOOOONING a lot. Your fetish thoughts are gone and they will be gone for 2-3 weeks as well as your libido and COOOOOMing potential.
It will pass the longer you abstain and then return again whenever you GOOOOON to much. Sorry to say wizard, but you are unfortunate to experience the side effects of gooning no one really mentions aside from nofap and semen retaining people.
It will pass though.
No.307635
>>307620No meds will help you wiz. Boring answer, but fix your diet, go outside and work out.
No.307636
>>307635>fix your diet, go outside and work outThat is it actually. Ever since I began seriously working out (5 sets every 2 days) eating properly + taking vitamins I feel like a new wizard. Join us powerwizards.
No.307637
>>307635This. In my particular case, ~3000 IU doses of vitamin D3 seem to help me with a my guts, my brain fog* and agression/butthurt issues.
Also, Mg pills.
Also, cook more eggs (inb4 you're lenting). If you love carbs and tired of basic eggs, try rice omelette aka "omuraiso", it tastes surprisingly great for something as simple as microwaved rice on a frying pan with eggs added atop of it.
*won't save you from the brain fog if you had a night of bad sleep
No.307638
Considering buying 20 g of kratom after 5 years of abstinence. I want to help my brain to fully reflect my situation. Kratom would enable this in the past. I'm just really thought lazy the last year's, like I just don't really care about things, I haven't done anything meaningful productive for myself ever since stop using it. Even when the psychological withdrawal stopped and I didn't think about it in years I didn't so anything productive other than work eat and sleep.
No.307639
>>307638>kratomGod fucking damn it i want some too. In this shithole those niggers in power banned in and cracked down on the dealers real hard lately, no way to buy it unless you want risk being prison raped or blackmailed by cops. Only thing I can buy is hirsuta which is like 5% of kratom's power.
I was an addict for 3 years. I had some hellish times as well as heavenly, blissful, wondrous days.
If you can control it can be a powerful tool. I couldn't though but that was fine. It was worth it for me.
No.307641
>>307633Oh I know what a flatline is, actually thereve been two instances in my life when I went over a whole year without fapping. I know what a flatline is and I know this is not a flatline. For one flatlines (at least for me) are more mental than anything, the world feels still and colorless and if I fap during those times everything goes back to "normal" as soon as im done, including the urge to goon more.
My problem as of late is more intrusive thoughts or fetishes rather than gooning itself, if anything the actual gooning urge has been steadily decreasing over the years, its just P without the MO. But I really want to emphasize the INTRUSIVE thoughts part, like literally im cooking or riding the bus and these motherfucker just hit all at once out of nowhere. Also when I experienced actual flatlines, they always came at least 3 weeks or more in after abstinence, while the l-theanine effect was immediate, and with flatlines you look at porn and you go back to usual goon mode, this isnt happening right now.
Im convinced its the l-theanine. Plus I can sleep right after 3 fat mugs of coffee, yeah I know *eye roll* youre sick or anxious and you drink coffee? yeah im retarded what can I say, I just like it so much. By the way im also a heavy tea and matcha drinker so I thought the pills wouldnt have such an effect on me, weird…
Next thing on my Dr. Chud bucket list is high dose Taurine, because apparently its one of the things that can massively help with glutamate excitotocity
No.307643
>>307641>with flatlines you look at porn and you go back to usual goon modeBrother you are wrong. I've had a flatline in April. It hit so hard I was BORED by h-games that made me goon for 12 hours just a month before. It hits differently all the time. No libido all of a sudden - flatline. L-theanine is one of the mildest stims i've ever taken and it's not the cause of libido loss. At least I am really doubt that is the case. Flatlines have different intesity levels, from my experience. I've had those periods of utter numbness, I've had weeks of just zero libido but feeling fine. Lack of sexual intrusive thoughts is temporary but the more you goon now, the more your libido will hide.
>youre sick or anxious and you drink coffeeNo, I am the same kind of coffee drinking nigger so I get it. I just use a caffeine containing supplement though, it has magnesium and other stuff, hits harder and yet doesn't cause anxiety. As for taurine, I am not sure those mild substances can drastically affect your life.
No.307644
>>307643>No libido all of a sudden - flatline.Dont flatlines include general apathy and indifference, not just sexual? along loss of motivation from a general "reboot of neurotransmitters" and reward pathways? Thats how I remember it. Now that I think of it, it makes sense believing this from flatlines coming from absolutely exhausting and killing your dick from constant gooning, which wasnt the case at all with me.
>Lack of sexual intrusive thoughts is temporary but the more you goon now, the more your libido will hide.Almost wants me to force it just to test your theory but eh, maybe later
>L-theanine is one of the mildest stims i've ever taken and it's not the cause of libido loss.Its not really a stim tho, and I wouldnt say libido loss is whats going on here, sure theres some loss but the part that weirded me out was nutting itself. It feels kinda like a blackhole if you know what I mean, theres no release, nothing, almost like pissing. Like the final part of the cue, routine, reward part just fails. Ive never felt this before, even during my long no-PMO reboots.
>I am not sure those mild substances can drastically affect your life.Maybe, but it seems safe overall, wouldnt hurt to try.
No.307648
I really hate my parents and don't even know why they bothered having children. They're clearly two self serving people, who themselves don't get along with the rest of their respective families, and divorced one another and hated each other too.
I just think about how lazy my mother was growing up relative to her absolute crybaby whining. I was never breastfed, never taught to brush my teeth, never showered or washed, never brought shoes, never had bedsheets. I remember the school dentist lecturing me for my poor teeth, but I didn't really have it in me to say I didn't even own a toothbrush. Yet every waking moment of my life was filled with her babbling about how we're the most useless piece of shit children ever and no mother deserves to have kids so horrible. I thought about it recently and asked myself, what did she even do for us? She threw clothes in a washing machine and operated an airfryer (we lived on junk food). Literally 10 minutes of throwing shit into an appliance and pressing an on button. This is for the $200+ dollars extra this useless whore got in child support each week to raise us.
I remember she fucked off to Dubai for a few weeks (with my sister, the boys in the family are too subhuman to ever experience such treats. It's strange how it's only the males that were fed junk food growing up) and was hosted with a real family. Those were the best three weeks of my childhood. I showered, I had clean sheets, I sat at a table to have meals. A taste of a normal life. I was just noticeably happier and got excited about life again.
Actual indifference would've been better for me growing up. It would've been better to have someone who openly didn't care about me instead of riding me for victim and pity points constantly.
The only reason I haven't roped yet is because I'm waiting for these two useless pieces of shit to finally die, simply so they can't have a final opportunity to go ME ME ME all over my funeral.
No.307649
>>307648normgroids are just genuinely bad people. they have kids because it gives them an easy dopamine hit, first because of the sex, then because all of the attention they get as parents. that wears off once they realize raising little humans is quite energy and time consuming. then they find other ways of getting their emotional satisfaction, through sadism, narcissism, manipulation, using you as an excuse for their failed ambitions, "i sacrificed everything for this family, if it wasn't for you…". honestly they have no shortage of creativity when it comes to milking what little payoff they can for raising you. and maybe thank god for that because the alternative is abandonment. that's why you in turn are programmed to please your parents despite how utterly evil and disgusting they might be, you'll dance for mommy because the alternative… you get the point.
No.307652
>>307639I can buy it legal on the internet here, the national vendors are competing a lot so they really improved the quality and cleanliness control and prices are acceptable. They send it the same day of order through normal post delivery. It really couldn't be easier to get it.
No.307657
>>307652> so they really improved the quality and cleanliness I envy you, even though I remember the withdrawal nightmares. Hogging 100g in a week and then 5 days of suffering… After the ban I still could buy it but the dealers were absolute scumbags who sold the utter overdried garbage with almost no effect for the price of purest kratom ever. There is nothing like kratom in my opinion. 5gs and I am energetic, optimistic, ready for any action.
The ban happened after local zoomers began memeing kratom on tiktok also kratom cafes began to open. It scared the alcomafia so hard they ordered their puppets in the goverment to ban it because it is somehow 'dangerous'. But the danger of it is the fact kratom completely kills any desire to drink alcohol. And they couldn't risk losing profits.
No.307662
>>307657That sucks. But at least you won't get tempted to buy and use it so you avoid future withdrawals. I used to take kratom on and off for about 7 years, with longer breaks, but I've my withdrawal experience and it's awful. However I think if I only buy 20 grams (would be a daily amount in the past) I am able to control the consumption. Starting with 2 grams to get a feeling for it if I even like it these days, and then up to 5 grams to see if it helps me to reflect my life and maybe help with decision making.
Writing this out makes me realise that this is probably a bad idea as you shouldn't be dependent on drugs to make decisions as they alter your state of being, better to just use them for recreation or productivity. But he'll I'm really lost these days. I'm at my wit's end.
No.307663
Its so incredibly bleak how the general experience of being a low status male goes. From birth, most of us are treated like shit by our parents, forcing us to distance ourselves as much as possible or try reaching financial independence. If you go the professional route, as long as youre ugly and uncharismatic youre one fake sexual workplace accusation from homelessness or the gig economy, if you become a merchant youre still one bad review or faggot nigger bureaucratic misunderstanding from major economic loss, if you decide to become self-employed it will take fucking forever to reach a reasonable level of independence and reputation to take hits without issue, if you decide going for a middle ground like what Amazon and eBay have enabled for years youre still one imbecile away from being scammed or having your funds/income frozen. The latter is what happened to me yesterday. Im just kind of done at this point, almost. The way the system is set up is so it protects and enables the lowest common denominator, always. Well not always because those at the very top are the only one immune to this. And you, as the common man are bound to lose, and lose, and keep losing to this trap. Not saying anything new here, just that words cannot express how demoralized im feeling right now.
No.307664
>>307662>But he'll I'm really lost these days. I'm at my wit's endBefore kratom I was damn near suicidal wreck. Unemployed, utterly lost. My mother had died a year prior to that. I felt like just slitting my wrists. Kratom allowed me to sit back and realize life isn't that bad, that everything can be overcome. I've been constantly on kratom for a year. Found a job, continued with the hobby I almost neglected. It was good until I became 20g per day maniac and chug it every few hours. The withdrawal… It's hellish. I didn't know how to mitigate it so I just suffered it cold turkey and it was the worst I've ever felt. I don't regret it one bit though. I'd be dead if it wasn't for kratom. Last year I found a way to escape withdrawals more or less by buying grey market pregabalin, even though the kratom was so shit it didn't give me neither that much high nor that horrible lows.
If I were you, I would buy it. Not to make any decisions, but to drink it on the day off or something. Just don't go back to binging. It's a waster of kratom and a way to
create suffering.
No.307665
>>307663whoops hit submit earlier
But the real problem is how this lived experience completely asfixiates the ugly low status, often dumb and poor man I mentioned. If you are a normalfag or god forbid a succubus, you can also take these hits with relative ease. Because someone will always have your back, fucking always. The untouchable is trapped in a cycle of misery, resentment and poverty where everytime he tries escaping it by means of the available methods to him, his life is quite literally always hanging by a thin thread held by some barely literate nigger. He becomes angrier everyday, as his efforts are almost futile, and that just sinks him deeper in the quicksands of fighting the world as a disposable element. "Just world" my fucking dick, worse belief the world has ever come with
No.307670
>>307663>>307665You know, I was watching a documentary about some indonesian labourer who works in sulfer mines. He wakes up, walks 1 hour to work, labours 12 hours, walks home and collapses immediately in bed. But he has a loving wife and kids who clearly appreciate the effort.
I don't think the problem is so much being exploited and ground down, as pathetic as it is, men can handle that. The problem is that you're seen as useless as a low status male in western societies, you're seen as not needed. The guy stacking shelves isn't seen as someone noble doing something for his family, he's just seen as a loser.
Obviously this system results in depopulation, and then the cultural replacement of the population, and then the genetic replacement as replacement migration is used to fill the gap. It's why I've stopped giving a fuck about the Sarees and Burkas I see on the streets, or people dressed up like late night Scrooge in oriental pyjama looking outfits. It's absolutely inevitable this would happen.
It's why I think NEETdom is good and I'm glad fail males are dropping out, as pathetic as it is. They want low status males to be sterile disposable worker drones they can treat with contempt, they absolutely seethe at men who have dropped out of society and are indifferent. People think "oh it doesn't matter, they'll just flood the country with replacement migrant labour". But yes it does matter because we've reached the inflection point where the comfy welfare state, single mother divorce raping system cannot withstand the sheer nepotism of third world migrants.
The "Muh trades" thing was always a fucking psyop too. succubi, jews and diaspora indians don't do this work because they're incapable, they don't do it because it's low status. The swindle is getting other gullible retards to do the work so they don't have to.
No.307671
>>307664>Kratom allowed me to sit back and realize life isn't that bad, that everything can be overcome.I know that feeling all too well. It gave me so much intense incredible motivation that I did things I haven't ever done before or after regarding executing my hobby, electronic music and doing amateur compilations. I was really fully immersed and convinced of it at the moment with endless power to proceed doing it. It's really a unique feeling, like I haven't tried other druges than alc, weed, n2o (not proud, wish I never did, probably fucked my brain up long term never touch this devil stuff), kratom, phenibut, tobacco (just gave me head ache), but still kratom is so manifold and distinctive at its spectrum of activity that it gives lots of space for experimentation. But yeah,
>Just don't go back to binging.have to be careful of that but I think I am prepared to not fall into that trap.
No.307674
everything is porn. a good chunk (i call them junk) of people unironically embrace the philosophy that sex is the essence of life. it's everywhere. human mind has only one dimension - to fuck. i hate this world so much. i don't want to live here
No.307681
>>307671I know that feel. I love kratom even if it is a nasty leaf with a brutal kickback. There is nothing like it. Maybe real opiates? But at least you can't croack from kratom.
Also for some reason kratom made me horny as hell but I didn't care about gooning, I just focused this energy and pushed it into drawing. It was magnificent even if it's just a distant memory now. I haven't tried weed or thc stuff in general, maybe I should. Doubt it will bring back that kratom sunshine energy maeng da white gave me back in 2023-24.
Also the dreams on kratom were absolutely wild. I felt like I could planeshift to my fantasies by thinking them.
>have to be careful of that but I think I am prepared to not fall into that trapNever raise the dose, never take more than once a week, don't let tolerance build up.
No.307682
I hate Gen X with a passion.
No.307684
>>307683They're cheeky, rude, byproduct of the top scum that are boomers.
Plus they brought me up in this life.
No.307685
>>307683My conjecture is it's because they're oh so cynical even though they had it better than generations after them
>>307684My parents were boomers
No.307686
>>307682I've noticed they're pretty hard to work with. The ones that haven't made it still think they're going to make it, so you have to deal with their BS while they walk all over everyone else.
No.307687
For a split second I forgot where I was.
No.307688
>>307687hell is like that
No.307715
somehow I became schizophrenic in my 30s. Why does this shit only happen to me? Yeah schizophrenia affects others but I had to be a miserable depressed NEET on top of it.
So many fucked up things happen to me if I list them all it sounds like I'm joking around. I have to mention each of them in different posts or It sounds absurd.
No.307716
>>307715The funny thing about life is it's completely unbelievable unless it happened to you
No.307735
>start a video game
>be completely exhausted and mind fogged after 5 minutes
There's nothing left to do, it's just over.
No.307737
>>307735this is so relatable lol
No.307741
>>307715What are the symptoms? Nasty voices, eldritch abominations?
No.307753
>>307741> Nasty voicesYes, one voice just goes on and on about the most disgusting, rancid shit. I don't know how my subconscious is suppose to be the one producing this. It sounds like a combination of a psychopath, an edgy teenager, and a rapist.
No.307754
worst time of the year is here, spring
now every bydlo is waking up from their winter slumber to be as loud as possible
No.307755
>>307753Do you hear it as if someone actually talks in your ear or it is just a nasty loud thought?
No.307756
>>307755nasty loud thought. Like someone speaking in my head.
The voice will make up obscene things like that aliens rape alien babies to offend God, or that the people in Hell suffer infinitely and that they can never leave and God is a person who rapes children etc. Rape, murder, jokes about shit, pedophilia, telling me to kill myself etc etc. It just goes on and on.
No.307768
Society is so fucking dysfunctional.
The "NEW" leased car I've had for only a year and a month had the transmission pump go on it because everything is made like shit now. The dealer doesn't have any loaner cars for me even though they have an entire lot of cars that aren't selling. The Enterprise in my town doesn't even have any cars to rent. Another Enterprise wouldnt let me rent because I did not have 2 utility bills because my gas/electric are the same company, my roommate pays the internet bill and my water comes out of my rent. So now I have to go across town to get a rental while my car is being fixed because nothing can just fucking work as its intended.
No.307771
The closer I get to 30 the more violently fear grips me by the throat. Neuroplasticity is *real*. There is no way out of mediocrity for me. People who have lives are on their track already at 20. Even if somebody spoonfed me all the steps necessary to learn social skills and whatnot I'd not have enough energy and learning capacity to digest it. It's simply hopeless.
No.307772
>>307771it's funny how there's a very obvious time limit to most things in life and no one wants to acknowledge it, but your life is essentially over by your 20s, yet you have to live for another 40-50 years with the person that you are and there's no magic button that can fix it.
No.307773
>>307772I think I could still fix myself to a degree around 18-20 if somebody helped me, but yeah after that the downhill slide has only been accelerating. At this point I internalized self hatred to a point I don't really feel broken, the only thing that plagues me is that I have no resources to do anything at all. I just wage 6 days a week and what free time I have I have absolutely no idea how I could spend it. I don't even spend that much time playing games, just scrolling some imageboards and sleeping. It only gets worse with time. I don't really understand it. With years I feel less and less of that adolescent pain, and yet somehow I still feel like I'm getting worse. Meanwhile normies enjoy themselves and whatever suffering they experience pays off tenfold.
No.307777
>>307756Wait so it is a thought and not someone yelling in your ear like in one of those 'schizophrenia simulation' videos?
No.307778
>>307772There's not really any reason for an actual wizard (30+) to continue posting on Wizchan.
No.307779
>>307777Sort of, it's a voice inside my head, sort of like your inner voice but someone else is speaking. But I also have inner "knowings" like intuitions or intrusive thoughts as well. So it's both.
No.307780
>>307778True but maybe somebody gets lonely sometimes.
No.307787
it's unsettling to remember how deeply alienated from this world i am. even this site. i guess that's what happens to people like me. everything is so unrelatable.
No.307791
>>307787Maybe you are Schizoid. I am, I have never truly fit in anywhere in my life
No.307796
I realized today that the milk I've been drinking for the past week has been expired for almost a month. Didn't even notice where the smell was coming from or my stomach aches because of my severe brain fog and dissociation.
No.307797
>>307796This was funny to read
No.307799
>>307778I'll be here in a year to let you all know what it's like, then. Though you're already quite right in that I only visit once every half a year as is.
No.307820
>>307502I think his country isn't invaded like yours. Apples and oranges.
No.307821
>>307820or maybe because hes some wizkid retard straight out of /pol/: "defend land that is yours" whats *yours* exactly? youre a fucking low status alienated, disconnected male - nothing is yours, nobody cares, theres nothing glorious or cool about being another body for society's "disposable" male meatgrinder. its pathetic on many levels. youre dying to protect succubi who dont give a fuck about you, just to be demonized post-death. failing that youll come back traumatized with limbs missing, having only killed guys forced into the same situation as you.
the only good thing about being drafted is getting the chance to shoot your recruiters or the archetypical hazing strongman posturing losers who bullied you like back in highschool.
No.307822
>>307821You either fight on better terms or fight on worse terms. Forced mobilization on occupied territories has been a thing since 2014 and only increased since 2022. Muscovian shelf life is way shorter, up to 12 days. The guys in Muscovy are not forced, they signed contracts to kill, as a result the financial burden was out on Muscovian regions with all negative economical consequences. Succubi actually often fight better than men and there's plenty of them on Ukrainian side. Ukrainians in Crimea were forced by Muscovy to fight in Syria too. If you value your life that much, then you're a privileged failed normalfag who didn't suffer enough.
No.307824
>>307822why don't you go grab a snack and take /pol/ elsewhere? you're cringe
No.307825
>>307822my life fucking sucks but im not enough of a beaten down wretch like you to glorify throwing his life away for a society that considers you dispensable simply because of your gender.
i dont care when it started retard, blah blah blah, the draft has been a thing for all of history, le russian bad whatever, i dont give a fuck about the politics of whatever side youre on and no wizard should (why care about geopolitics of a world youre outcast from anyway), youre some little polchud wizkid who still thinks falls for this nationalist koolaid like you think it gives you some meaning in life to pretend this shit matters and gives you a little hobby. i heard some stories about russian soldiers contracts being forced to be extended so they had to go fight, im sure thats true and theres always men forced to fight in wars on both sides. its not some cod campaign.
bro is actually falling for muh russian elite female snipers tier feminist pop culture slop about how succubi are better soldiers. "plenty of them" a la cherrypicked propaganda articles you eat up and in any case they werent forced to fight like the men are so i have absolutely no respect for them. its like a white person voluntarily going to pick cotton, its not at all the same context, they arent "better" when they can just up and leave when they feel like it and by virtue of gender arent compelled to go die. this is the only relevant and important part to me and to any wiz - that society says your life is inherently worthless because youre male, and if you subscribe to that notion youre an absolute subhuman loser scumfuck.
if youre enough of a moron to fall for this sort of hurr defend ur country!!!11!! rhetoric then youre a privileged little mong who doesnt have any real issues. a wiz who takes his own life rather than being bloodfuel for the normalfag war machine has 100000x more respect than some drafted bitch boy poltard loser who takes it up the bum and acts like its a good thing. theres wanting to die on your own terms and then being compelled to die because society says you have to. if you dont find that humiliating, youre chopped, as the kids say.
by shitting out this gross rhetoric youre also by extension advocating to maintain a worldview which keeps low status guys like wizards on the bottom rung and fair game to be treated like dirt and killed. i dont like my life but that doesnt mean i want other guys like me to suffer and die needlessly. if they can find a tolerable lifestyle then they should keep that, not be called to die when some faggot strongman posturing politician like shitzensky says so. fuck you.
No.307826
I never belonged to this world
2 years of anhedonia have destroyed me
No.307870
I realized how much of an embarrassing and cringe person I am. All these social humiliations from the past haunt me, it makes me want to kill myself and it instantly kills my mood. It seems to me that every single moment of my life that was spent in the presence of another human being was somehow painfully embarrassing. I don't know how that is possible, but I struggle to find a positive memory. On a deep level, I am simply not capable of being a real person. Maybe I skipped that developmental stage or rejected it and avoided it until it was too late. Now my "personhood" is corrupt, I have too much evidence that I am a disgusting piece of garbage and I can no longer live with myself. No future accomplishment, no amount of praise will ever fix it. This is who I fundamentally am and it's so deeply painful that it tears my soul from the inside. If you cringe at yourself long enough, you reach a point where you traumatize yourself. There's a threshold for normal human decency and if you the cringe-o-meter passes it, you can never come back from it. "Oh but no one remembers-" I remember. It's burned into my psyche and there's no escape.
No.307880
>>307870my feelings exactly, except i don't have any "future plans". i basically live like there's no tomorrow because i can't care anymore.
No.307883
>>307870Me too, that's why I am afraid of posting too often.
No.307885
I fucked up my wrist from not thinking about my posture in one of the few hobbies that actually made me feel better about myself that I was heavily invested in (drawing) and I'm now paranoid that I messed it up permanently but I am also afraid that if I don't engage in it any longer I will not improve especially since I am at a "cutoff age" where you supposedly stop being able to absorb information as well. Seems like anytime I put effort into something all I get out of it is shit. I'm also not even sure now if the pain is real or imagined as retarded as that sounds because I can't remember what it felt like before I noticed it and if it was there the whole time or not.
No.307886
Why did it have to be this way? I could have settled with a null but non-tragical outcome, instead I got the worse of it.
No.307889
I completely threw my life away in the span of a few months. I went from having a relatively bright future to having no hope. I dug myself so deep into this hole. I'm not suicidal just yet but boy would it be nice if a truck driver accidentally ran me over or a mugger would shoot and kill me. It'd solve so many problems if I just died.
No.307890
>>307889A person in poverty is always a problem waiting for a solution.
No.307891
I feel like I can't die just yet because I have things to accomplish, but I can't even remember what they were. And besides, I'm afraid of reincarnation.
No.307895
>>307889instead nature will force into suffering this existence for many years yet. welcome.
No.307902
I'm so bored it feels like physical pain.
No.307903
meteorism
>>307902too bad for you. i on the other hand am gonna have a nice and smelly night
No.307907
Lately I was feeling like "I can't do this anymore, I can't come into work." Then I started reflecting on my life, and I felt like this even as far back as elementary school. "There's school for how many more years? I have to show up every day? I've had enough of doing multiplication tables. I can't do this anymore". It's kind of funny to think about a child being burnt out like some aging salaryman, but also depressing to think how I've been feeling that way for so long. It's like I got an old soul, but not one with wisdom, just a cheap worn out one that was on sale for clearance. How many more days are left in this life? I really can't take it.
No.307912
I wish I could do gamedev. That's the only way I could ever earn a living and make it out of my parent's house, but my sleep apnea just makes me too creatively impaired to be able to do it. I'm probably just gonna get kicked out one day and die broke and homeless.
No.307914
>>307912Exact same anon. I just can't program. It's so painful and confusing like I get completely overwhelmed by any project and lose the ability to focus on it. I can do math to some extent, but programming eludes me.
No.307915
>>307912making money with gamedev is extremely difficult, even if you have the prerequisite skills. imagine spending a year or two of your life working on a game, only for it to sell a 100 copies on steam. that's the reality for most indie devs. working in the industry is also pretty bad because studios are losing money on dogshit DEI games that no one wants to play. if you get hired, you have no job security and you'll be working grueling hours for shit pay.
No.307918
>>307915he said it was the only way. he didn't say it was a likely way.
No.307919
>>307918then he should get a better power fantasy. for me it's being called by the president to be his personal advisor where i only work for one hour and the rest of the time i live like a king playing video games in the oval office.
No.307921
>>307919NTA but I really want to just make a video game because I enjoy the idea. But the actual process of making a game is too difficult.
No.307922
>>307921nigga, just download unity and fuck around with tutorials. it doesn't take much to get stuff moving on the screen. gamedev as a hobby can be fun, but never turn it into your job. designing and building a cohesive product that will appeal to the average player is genuinely a difficult task, and everyone and their grandma is trying to make it as a indie gamedev so the market is oversaturated with trash.
No.307925
>>307922I can do the "Fuck around with tutorials" part fine. It's the actually building up a game where I quickly get overwhelmed and give up. To me, structuring that kind of project is too difficult. There are so many moving parts
No.307928
>>307925try iterating. make the smallest version of your game, like a single level then just improve it over and over until you get something good. don't worry about structure and clean code, you can always just start over fresh and re-write it with everything you've figured out.
No.307935
Anyone else have trouble eating.
People I know sometimes make comments about me looking skinny. Don't look anorexic or anything but already naturally slim and don't eat a lot. Been really melancholic lately and while at least do eat healthy, even when I get the slightest bit of anhedonia, a hint of a depressive, lost kind of feeling or, just being simply, meditatively, truly in my own zone attaining no desire to eat and can kind of make me a bit sad being aware of this :/
I think it's cause I'm understanding that it probably stems from people pressuring you to eat your entire meal or pressured to have seconds and thirds as a kid, or others guilt tripping you as if you weren't already taught enough to have gratitude when it's brought up with food each meal. As if implied, that you weren't worth enough for nourishment or were too greedy to be given meals, like it was too much already that's been handed to you. While not growing up in poverty, as an adult I believe it also stems from feeling like having to save money constantly, even if unnecessary and have the resources to have adequate intake. It's like getting into this mode, where you cocoon yourself in hikkimori fashion, thereby keeping in as much emotional fuel, conserving every morsel that isn't needed to be spent, no using energy, mentally, physically, financial, staying as shielded from the outside world from anything that disrupts this inevitable cycle. Again it does truly feel like some weird, nirvana from decay, knowing further out as time passes you become further removed from the normal, socially sanctioned cycle of productive adult living, making it more and more unrelatable to anyone even those who would like to understand your situation. It makes one worrisome as it gets so schizoid and tranquil that I understand it will only transform into something darker further down the line.
No.307937
>>307935I don't struggle with undereating but overeating instead. I've been a fat fuck my entire life and I don't know what it's like to not be one. I would not be surprised if I am full of worms and parasites, I seem to get irritated if I don't eat for too long.
No.307938
>>307935I'm near anhedonic. Just about the only pleasure I get is from food or rather beverages. So I don't overeat as much as overdrink liquid calories being addicted to sugar.
No.307939
Same. Food, especially unhealthy food is literally the only thing that gives me pleasure now that my dopamine/serotonin receptors are damaged. I’ve decided to cut it out completely though, otherwise I can see myself becoming addicted to sugar. Been on keto diet for pretty much two months.
No.307940
I was into math for a while(I wasn't really enjoying but it was eating up time I spend staring at the wall) now I can't even stand to look at it.
Why is life so unbelievably tedious. there's no pleasure, there's not even the comfortable numbing of busy work. It's just this constant "I wish I had something to do" feeling that is forever.
No.307941
>>307940Life is only fun when you're good enough at something to be well remunerated or recognized for it OR you're so good to the point it brings inherent pleasure. I respect math, but its rewards are only open to smart people.
No.307942
It always annoys me to see people who are interested in the same things as me, but who are unbearable.
No.307953
Every math question I can't solve is another reminder that I am not smart and I'll never be anything special. Just constant humiliation ritual for a late 20s NEET loser who haven't gotten over his "gifted kid" and "so much potential" cope from middle school.
No.307954
>>307941I was pretty good at video games (specifically single player games, MP games I am just average) and I never got much pleasure from it. Being good at something doesn't inherently make it enjoyable.
Most normalfags enjoy their hobbies despite statistically most not being good at it, so it can't be just skill.
No.307957
>>307954well, there's also the social aspect. people (read: normalfags) like to be included, even if they don't care about the activity at all to do it when they're alone. they might go play chess every weekend at a chess club just because they can socialize with their friends but they don't bother to actually study in their off-time. another sense of reward comes from curiosity and exploration, some people will go into caves just to see what's in them or go travel.
wizzies obviously don't get that kind of pleasure from socializing and we're home bodies, so we're only left with the dopamine hit from a sense of progression, dominating others and maybe if you're lucky, an intrinsic sense of curiosity for a subject. a wizzie might learn something just because it makes him feel smart and superior to others, or he might play a stupid idle game just because he wants to see number go up. pleasure from being good at something also gets a lot more amplified if other people recognize it, but wizzie rarely gets a chance to show off his talents.
No.307963
>>307957People who are genuinely interested in math are the luckiest SOBs on the planet. It's the perfect hobby. You can do it alone or with a group, it's free, has unlimited application, and it never runs dry.
I want to love math so bad. But you can't force yourself to love anything. It doesn't work that way
No.307964
>>307963typically you gravitate towards interest/lifestyle choices that create congruence between your internal/external worlds
so although you don't love math, maybe there's something else calling you?
If math is your only solace and it's not what you love… i think there's just something blocking you from it
No.307965
>>307963genuine interest in math is rare. even among the people that are good at math and study it or do it professionally, it's just a thing they have to do to succeed in their career path. genuine interest is when your mind wanders to it by default and it doesn't tire you out and you use every idle moment you have just thinking about it.
i do wonder if you could cultivate this. perhaps by meditating on math until you can reach some kind of perceptual frame where these patterns become incredibly enticing and compelling. by continually meditating on the question "what would it be like if i was obsessed with math" and trying to pin down the actual experience of it. the people that are genuinely interested in math see something that us regular mortals don't and all these tedious mathematical symbols and equations actually serve a purpose, they are useful tools for them that demystify burning questions and reveal deep secrets.
No.307975
>>307964I've always felt I should be into any number of things, but I'm not. The sense of intellectual duty/obligation makes it all a chore and dulls inquisitiveness/wonder. I'm supposed to like the idea of life, but I find I don't like life as it is presented to me at all. You don't choose your obsessions or your gifts to see if they line up. Phil Collins doesn't even like music.
>>307965>i do wonder if you could cultivate thisYou'll just hurt yourself doing something that was never meant for you.
No.308033
I can't stand the longing, but longing for what I am not even sure.
No.308039
>>307681So I had my kratom now, took it in a span of 4 days, using an extract with 50 mg mitragynin. While it was surely pleasant and giving a warm feeling, I completely missed that limitless motivation or any kind of euphoria. So all in all rather disappointing. I mixed the extrat with half a litre of water in a plastic bottle and I must say it actually was tasty, like ice tea, I would drink that even without the kratom effect. This is the complete contrary to what I consumed in the past, where I had this downright nasty kratom taste. But it comes with a high price, it's too expensive to buy regularly, I'll stop using now for at least a month anyway.
No.308041
Feel like I have to keep lying to myself about everything just to maintain some kind of something. The true grief of my situation would be too painful to bear so these little lies are all I have.
I pretty regularly get these extreme on/off type scenarios in which for a time my lies actually seem plausibly real or at least true in some sense, in that maybe my perception isn't totally off and there's something textured and tangible here - but then things alternate and I get these extremely on the nose messages from the world/life/people which seem custom curated to personally torture me, and that no, in fact, it was all bullshit, and all this stuff wasn't real; you just made it up in your head, to give yourself something to subsist on, and it doesn't mean what you thought it meant.
The veil lifts and there's no way for me to not perceive the thing to be exactly what it seems to be. I understand I'm cynical and biased and hold tons of potentially erroneous and preconceived notions stemming back from childhood which influence my thinking, but at the same time, it's so plain to me? Like 1+1=2 type obvious, of course this is how it is, and your suspicions were entirely justified, and you were an idiot for thinking anything else.
Then cue the mental gymnastics to perceive the thing as not what it obviously seems to be. Take today: some colleagues organized an afterwork event and I wasn't invited. Other people weren't invited either so it wasn't just me, but who cares, I wasn't, and I thought I got on with these people and was part of the team or something, guess not. I could pretend they thought I wouldn't enjoy it or didn't want to pressure me, but I find that an extremely unlikely proposition - they simply didn't really want me there. It's just like school, a popularity contest, nothing changes. Outcast then, outcast now.
And the best part is I get warnings, like I have the thought in my head about this thing which I think might be a mistake "don't put all your eggs in one basket bro" (how when I only have one basket and don't know how to make more?) but I soldier on anyway because I want to *believe* there's something there, though deep-down I know it's actually empty vapid nothing, but do it anyway because I have nothing else. It's always my fault, like everything.
Give it a few days and I'm back to baseline, clinging to these little flights of fancy and blatantly false perceptions - pathetic.
No.308042
>>308041yep. if you ended up with this personality from my perspective i can only advice you to spend a lot of time meditating on and journaling your cycles of delusion/baseline. a few years of learning your patterns and you'll gain some maneuverability. but i wouldn't spend too much time hoping it's gonna truly resolve to the point you can experience something that's not suffering
>outcast then, outcast nowpretty much this. some damage is permanent, you must learn to cope ASAP or you'll die as a junkie
No.308043
I have an irrational, long lasting terror of my teeth decaying. It tortures me everyday and all I do is scrounge away my NEETbux trying to save for it. It's borderline a form of body dysmorphia at this point, because i think I genuinely would be happier if I didn't have teeth and didn't have to think about it. It's literally hours everyday my mind tortures me thinking about it. I've become a miserable, shut in person that doesn't do anything or talk to anyone. I stopped being funny, I stopped smiling. I actually enjoyed NEETdom a few years back.
I can't talk to anyone about it because they think I'm insane. And I'm not a teenage succubus so it's not like anyone takes body dysmorphia shit seriously in a soon-to-be middle aged man.
I remember when it started, two years ago. I was just sitting at my computer and I just suddenly felt weird in the head. I kept on getting adverts on youtube for pharmacies and medication and I was like "wtf, I'm not sick". Then one day I looked in the mirror and just suddenly developed a full on nightmarish terror of health decay. The next two weeks I was deeply suicidal and tried burning myself to death in the forest. I tried to get some medication, was given some benzos, and they induced a full on manic episode that made me hospitalized.
I don't know where to go from here because I know my thinking is irrational, but I can't help it. Anti-psychotics genuinely just make me retarded, but if I keep this level of terror up for another decade I'll almost certainly get a heart attack .
No.308050
I developed a permanent tinnitus these last days. Normally I would just hear it in the quiet evening hours but now I hear it all the time, when driving, at work, in the supermarket. I'm a bit worried it will only get worse from here on. I think my psychological issues start manifesting as more physical ailments and it will only get worse from here on out.
No.308052
>>308050you've been ranting about this for years, did you check with your psychologist? ah i remember you live in some shithole where they don't believe you. damn. tough.
No.308053
>>308052This is the first time I wrote about my tinnitus here and I live in central europe. You must confuse me with some other wiz. If it stays like this I'll have to go to the doctor I guess but I doubt they can help with that.
No.308054
have not talked to my parents in over 10 years, I sometimes wonder if they think of me anymore or if it is as I never existed
No.308061
How do people outside enjoy living?
I'm genuinely puzzled. I no longer scream in my head for their secrets. I just don't understand how living could ever be anything but spite, duty, or guilty obligation.
It's just alien to think some people are a-ok to go about living after they get a chance to wake up in their days.
No.308062
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C5%8DhatsuIt's wild that what I'm planning on doing is a well observed phenomenon with hundreds of thousands of people already doing it.
1/20 young people became permaNEETs in my country since Covid. It's actually considered to be an existentialist threat to the state and they've been shitting their pants over it. NEETbux are tightening up and they've flooded in jeets.
There genuinely is something extra demoralizing about wagecucking today, there's something off about work. I go in for bouts of labour and lots of normalfags seem despairing and tuned out. I mean there's a cohort that's going by as they've always done, but there's definitely a lot of men and succubi tuning out.
No.308071
>>308061yeah I don't get it either. got the rope around my neck in february but some coincidence made me postpone.
I'm glad I will be leaving in june
No.308079
what is this curse of being painfully aware of your every fault and feeling infinite shame but being unable to do anything about it? every couple of hours i remember how much of a cringe pathetic embarrassment of a human i am but i can't do anything about it. i can't stop being cringe ahahahaha every social situation is just another opportunity to utterly embarrass myself and then burn it into my memory forever with no escape hahahahahahah
No.308080
Everything can be conquered except boredom.
No.308082
friday night and wizchan slows to a crawl…
No.308083
>>308079>what is this curse of being painfully aware of your every fault and feeling infinite shame but being unable to do anything about it?complexes
>>308082>>308080guys never goon…
No.308084
>>308083>guys never goon…Goon just means masturbate at this point, and anti-masturbation is pointless. I'm going to jerk off and enjoy it. The anti-masturbation crowd has nothing interesting to say and I've never heard a good argument from them.
No.308088
>>308084gooning is watching hentai for hours until your balls hurt.
>The anti-masturbation crowd has nothing interesting to sayanti-masturbation is absolutely based, but unfortunately too hard for most people. trying to argue with them is like trying to argue with Schwarzenegger about gym. on the other side anti-fap guys are usually underage tourists from 4chan who jerk off every second day.
No.308101
there is no way out of poverty. even on my free day i'm too tired to care.
No.308128
>>308084Based, if you dont use it you lose it. Ignore nofap retards