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Depression
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 No.307945

I thought that at 44 years old this stuff wouldn't get at me anymore but I was wrong.

All those cute couples rollerblading. Young mothers pushing strollers and smiling. People laughing in the park. People playing soccer in the field. Everyone is so happy, so content with their lot in life. They are so well-adjusted to this life.

People talking in upbeat tones. Groups of people socializing, laughing, smiling.

Everywhere I went today it was like this.
Its amazing how easy life is when you are neurotypical. It's like everything falls into place without much struggle and effort. You are always pre-programmed to get the most out of life without having to do anything special to make it happen.

 No.307946

they're background characters made by the demiurge. they don't think or suffer, they're just purely material bio machines without a soul. if you're an actual conscious human being, you will find this reality unbearable no matter what.

 No.307947

I'll never have this. We have missed out.

 No.307950

No matter how shit my life has been I've never felt bad seeing others happy. And my life is really shit.

 No.307951

>>307950
I've never felt bad about seeing others happy if they're good people. You do not need to have the weight of the world on your shoulders to be a good person. In fact, people who are in a position to be bad where their actions actually have major consequences outside their own lives but don't are all the more to be respected and admired. No one chooses their personal handicaps.

 No.307952

That's what you see OUTSIDE

Then there is plenty of people suffering in hospital and prison, terminal patients bedbound, suicidal schizos, animals eaten alive, you just don't get to see them

This is why I miss websites like liveleak because they show the true face of the world

 No.307956

>>307945
>Everyone is so happy, so content with their lot in life.

What i'm hearing is you're not happy with your lot in life.

Are you missing rollerblading or pushing a stroller, or are you missing something that it represents?

Cus something we have to remember is not comparing our happiness to others. We don't have to be well-adjusted to someone else's mold, and our happiness can be a different shape and size and still be enough.

 No.307959

>>307956

Its the capacity to be happy and content that I lack due to my fucked up brain.

It's not depression. Its schizo.

 No.307961

>>307945
This is just a small visible percentage of social reality that mainly consists of well thought out, intentionally demonstrated „personal well being and a competition of showing to others how great and awesome (your) life is“. This is not representative of truth, it is an aspect of one part of reality and it has some biological evolutionary functions and it is not a bad thing per se but it’s not necessary to live a good life. Have you grown up in a family? Have you witnessed neurotypicals being in a bad mood, angry, sad etc.? In my family there was so much dispute and troubles but I always was silent one, the person who witnessed all the problems but never took part in these interactions. But even in public sometimes you can witness the stress and dispute families and other gatherings go through, I'm glad to not be part of that. People in public normally make a good job of hiding all the suffering, the imperfections, the socially incompatible side of life. In fact you can find solace in the insight that you don’t have to pretend, don’t have to act as if everything is great, you don’t have waste an ounce of energy to participate in this showcase of socially acceptable behavior. Mind you, a sub-percentage of the displayed behavior actually is people being happy without having to pretend. But don’t think this is permanent or the usual case. Most normier suffer because they have been part of this percentage of social reality and only then know what it’s like missing that, the work you have to put in to keep it going, the fear of losing touch, the knowledge of how fragile and often times dishonest, artificial, superficial this whole thing is. We have none of those worries. So that’s nice.

 No.307976

>>307956
He would probably be happier being wizuncle but has no one
>>307961
Not really fair because most people here probably grew up in lower socio-economic strata where the people around them were low-functioning e.g. no emotional intelligence

 No.308284

>>307945
I don't know about the people part as I don't leave my space more than once a month or so.
The weather though… fucking hell.
Fuck spring/summer lately.
One day it's almost 30C the next it's 5-10C or lower and then back to hot.

Insane humidity swings and temperature swings are fucking with me physically.

 No.308309

>>307945
I am neurotypical and I am here.

 No.308314

I also find it painful to be reminded of happy cheerful people while I am very miserable and completely rotting away.
Still wouldn't want to be a normie though.

 No.308315

>>308314
>normie



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