/dep/ - Depression

>>308328
My condolences wiz. After a decade, getting that stuff done will be a weight off your shoulders I imagine. My gran is getting worse too, she has dementia, I think. Despite her having been a huge part of my childhood though, the prospect of her dying doesn't make me feel any particular kind of way. We haven't had much contact for a decade and I guess childhood is far enough away at this point that it feels like a different life entirely. Yet I do not look forward to the arrangements and all that and I'm terrified of something happening to my mom.

>>308329
>Despite her having been a huge part of my childhood though, the prospect of her dying doesn't make me feel any particular kind of way
That's the normal human adult male response. You can weep for the tragedy of an untimely demise that obliterates any hopes you had for good times together in the future. You can shed tears of joy and the good memories you've shared. It makes no sense however to cry for someone who lived long enough to expire naturally. Someone whose existence has become tiresome, and who can no longer create good times for themselves or their family, ought to have their life cheered as opposed to having their death grieved.

>>308331
I suppose that might be part of it. As cruel as it sounds, it has become tiresome to talk to her on the phone and always having the same conversation. How her friends are slowly decaying around her, how her nausea is better/worse than last time I called, how cute my cousin's newborn is. And always the phrase that "everyone wants to grow old but nobody actually wants to be old.". But strangely enough, my mother told me about her colleagues dog being diagnosed with a terminal lung tumor over the weekend and that wrenched my heart. I suppose because in my mind it felt more shocking that this big, kind, fuzzy creature should perish all of a sudden, no longer being able to experience the simple joys of being a dog with a loving family.
How is it for you anon? How close were you with your family? You say they respected you and you enjoyed their company but how does the loss actually feel for you?

life is temporary

memento mori