No.308921
>I don't know how to buy or use it.
Then learn. Go watch a YouTube video on gun licensing and purchasing. Then watch a video on gun safety and do the opposite of what it tells you.
>Being so powerless in front of the events is utterly disgusting
You're not powerless. You're either lazy or have been so indoctrinated in to the academic protocols of learning that you've forgotten that you can just learn things on your own without some teacher assigning books and lessons to you.