/dep/ - Depression

I'm only able to survive because my country has unemployment benefits. They will stop soon for me though.

Can't you do some online low-tier job that even succubi can do? Like customer support.

If you can't then ask for disability.

>>309090
I don't think he'd handle people screaming and yelling at him very well

>>309084
what did they insult you for?

>>309084
>insulted
My own father insulted me many times working with him. Imagine how useless made me feel that

>>309093
Is he a boomer by any chance?

>>309090
This is what I ended up with too OP.
It's a good job, as good as I can ever imagine having.

The only negative is the stress some people have from >>309091 , but I can tank it pretty fine since I don't care.
Job security comes from normies being unable to tolerate normies.

I just think of myself as some robot since I'm very rigid with how I talk to customers.
It's like, I got my little canned sentences that I can branch from a little depending on how things go and that's about it.
You get better at it, you add stuff to your vocabulary, expand the instruction set of your robot body or something, but all in all it's not very taxing mentally or physically.

I'm very grateful for the second half too since I let my body fall apart pretty bad.

Another job I was really good at was being a cashier.
The machine gave me the numbers for how much change to give back or how much money to take. You just move stuff from left to right or right to left.
I also just had some pretty much memorized repeat sentences I'd say to customers depending on what they say if any interaction was prompted besides hello/wouldyoulikesomeXYZ/goodbye.

Unfortunately these jobs seem to be disappearing. Cashier jobs are only like 1 / store and the rest is standing around the self checkouts 8 hours a day and running around on top of that.
Phone support jobs are getting AI replaced too for the most part.

As for IQ, I had to take some pseudo IQ test type thing the one time I tried to apply for a school police security guard type thing (again just sitting at a desk all day).
The psychology test lady told me I was too smart based on the tests and I should aim higher so they didn't take me.
I'm not so certain about that as I feel quite lacking in everyday stuff. Unable to learn or memorize things properly unless it is over a long period of time.
My short term memory/working memory was tested too and it was about half as much as average. So she why they thought I was smart.

>>309084
>>309093
>father
Same. Couldn't follow basic "obvious" instructions unless I was lead through the steps with some serious hand-holding a couple times at the very least.
I was fired a couple times because I "couldn't figure out obvious things". Basically anything that required my subjective judgement I fucked up too.

Like one job was scraping off plastic from some car parts I think when I was younger. I misunderstood the point of the whole process and ruined about 6 large boxes of hundreds of parts by the time they came back to check on me.
You know… scrape off the pointy bits, not cut them out and then smooth things over with some extra cuts… like… hmm. What ever was I thinking. Did I scrape it smooth enough? maybe not


TLDR; Cashier, Call center Support, Security guard (the comfy sit at desk or in a car /box 24 hours twice a week kind not the actually do work kind) are the ones I recommend.
All these jobs pay rather poorly or are becoming scarce / filled with oldtimers with connections or "sponsored" into the comfy position or succubs
If you can do manual labor than some kind of factory work should be an option where you only do a tiny part of the whole process.

my stepmother made me feel dumber even though I graduate college. A lot of education systems nowadays is mostly about passing the buck rather than educating students. Most people in leadership positions are assholes and will immediately test you upon meeting you to determine if you are leadership material or another lamb they can slaughter or ignore.

>>309122
>I was fired a couple times because I "couldn't figure out obvious things". Basically anything that required my subjective judgement I fucked up too.
People complain about instruction manuals and guidebooks that are too verbose and treat you like an idiot, but a lot of those came about because the alternative was boomers with 40 years experience doing one thing and one thing only assuming what's obvious to them is just as obvious to the newbies that they've put zero effort into teaching.

I think of myself as a stupid intellectual. No, not a pseud, that's some normie who wants to appear smart to others. I have a genuine passion for intellectual topics, I am just too stupid for most of it.

my mom is dying. im so retarded i dont know how to do anything besides pay the electric bill. they will want to foreclose the house cause i dont know how to pay the HOA. i dont know who im supposed to call. i asked her to show me this stuff a couple times but shes rertarded too. when i visited her at the hospital i just stood there and stared like a paralyzed retard. i prayed to jesus

>>309289
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this my fellow wizzie in Christ.

I can't tell if I am actually retarded or if I am just constantly too depressed and tired to function properly most of the time. Either way, too many things all pile on top of each other (diet, environment, health issues, aging, etc.) make it way too exhausting to care about anything.

>>309289
This is probably going to be me soon. I don't know how to do anything. I don't even know how I'd get a job, and I don't even have the right papers to anyways. I ask my family for help and guidance and they don't even seem to want to bother. I cannot even tie my shoes. I hope that you get through things alright as you can wiz. I don't think we should be too harsh on ourselves when nobody has ever showed us how to function in this world.

>>309284
You and me both, wiz. I have a fascination with intellectual topics and a respect for truly great minds, but the last time I tried to sit down and read a book on philosophy I got humbled almost immediately. I'm too smart for normalfags but too stupid to fully break away from them, a niche and acute kind of suffering.

>>309362
What did you read and what humbled you exactly, I've read a few writings supposedly attributed to ancient philosophers but it wasn't anything profound to me tbh

I feel quite smart in some areas but very stupid in others. I can't do maps or directions at all

>>309363
in all probability he tried to read something like Heidegger or Wittgenstein. ancient philosophy is quite a bit easier to understand.

>>309363
I think it was either Schopenhauer or Nietzsche I tried to get read. I had just barely got through the first few paragraphs full of words I didn't fully grasp, referencing other works I had no knowledge of, when I realized just how far out of my depth I was. It made me feel like a complete idiot.

>>309442
This is nothing to be ashamed of. If you are interested in philosophy, start with the early greeks and work your way forwards through history at a slow pace. By the time you reach Schopenhauer or Nietzsche you will have a much better foundation to work with.

Ive never read a book. Ever. Im 35.

Its unfuckingreal how bad things are. Like unironically. At least im bilingual even doe I still sound like a rigid esl retard after spending decades on english speaking websites

Also life ruining adhd, Ive been actually wanting to move on from using Windows 7 on my PC for like 3 years but I just dont know how to start, I mean I know how to fresh install it I just dont know how to install it "on top" of my current 7 setup to keep all programs and settings. So you can guess how it goes
>sit down and read into how id do this
>realize Id need to do a bunch of extra steps that I just have bo brainpower left for
>keep hoarding crap and distracting myself with YT, gelbooru and imageboards
>repeat the cycle forever

When I was younger I heavily criticized my parents for being stuck in their ways and now look at me, not only have I made absolutely no progress in any aspect of life, even fucking hobbies or something as passive as music taste, I AM ACTIVELY FUCKING REGRESSING in general. At 35 ive reached my cognitive ceiling and I literally know nothing or posses any skill. How sad is that????????

>>309450
I don't think you can normally keep all your programs and settings. People usually just reinstall everything.

>>309450
The saddest part is that, despite being so self-aware of your own issues, nothing in your post suggest that you're planning to take any sort of action, 35 is not young but it's not old either. Not trying to give an empty motivational speech here, if you want to throw your life away and feel extremely sorrowful and full of regrets in the last moments of your life you can do so, it will eventually pass anyway like everything does. If you want a better stay for the time being you can temporarily cut off all electronic devices to pick a hobby that would significantly improve your attention span.

>>309450
i think the mistake is believing that you can just generate motivation out of nothing. really what you're missing is a structure around you that would move you without having to think about it. that's why you're regressing, because you don't go to school or work, and relying on willpower doesn't work. if there are no consequences or very slow, long-term consequences, you're not going to move your ass to do anything.

environment is everything. your mind adapts to your surroundings, if there are no pressing matters, no danger of embarrassment or some kind of loss, it defaults to being idle. but that adaption also comes at the cost of stress, so there are no easy solutions.

people like you could get drafted and get "fixed" after a week of bootcamp, you just need external pressure, but as soon as you are left to your own devices, you go back to slothing.

>>309457
up to the last paragraph your post sounded reasonable, then it cooked out.

>>309459
i was just imagining a scenario where an adult could suddenly get that kind of structure in his life and the only thing that came to mind was the military. there's no adhd there because you're not making your own decisions anymore, executive functioning is done by someone else :D

>>309451
>People usually just reinstall everything.
I couldnt do that, I have a hard time letting go in general. Its paradoxical and retarded yes I know.

>>309456
Ive never understood why people think awareness means anything. The way I see it awareness could come from two completely different places, place A aka the good ending/story where youre aware out of sheer willpower to improve and fluid intelligence. Its catching the problem before it grows unmanageable, perhaps you had loving friends and family who helped you see things that were invisible to you. And then theres place B, the bad ending/story aka the fucking retard nobody, including himself, ever cared about. A story of dereliction. This comes as a late realization through hitting your head on the same exact wall for decades, you were too stupid to understand it back then so you only sort of recognize it through repetition, because its all youve got left in life.

>you can temporarily cut off all electronic devices to pick a hobby that would significantly improve your attention span.
Thats where I keep stumbling because I am poor. I can only think about either really useless or high IQ hobbies that can be done without money. Im out of shape, my genetics are sewage tier so anything physical is an exercise in futility. I guess thats why I understand my parents better now and boomers in general, who just worship TV because it demands minimal effort from you. Any other hobby like knitting or crocheting or origami, manual crafts that dont cost a lot would feel too much like a waste of time. I have massive, unreal FOMO. And theres of course reading itself that im too adhdy for. Id like to try math one day but… the reasoning people usually give for why electronics are le bad is overstimulation, but I have something worse than overstimulation, something that drove me to overuse the computer in first place and its called fucking annoying nosy parents that wont stop bothering me for the most retarded reason. Electronics are an escape, not the root issue. Or thats how it was when I was younger I legit feel my brains fried from both internet and living with annyoing (maybe even narcissistic) people.

>>309457
>missing is a structure
I guess yeah. I only had my own bedroom at 22 so that kind of explains why other than gooning I couldnt ever form a solid habit or hobby. When you have no personal space and keep getting kicked out of the room youre in, or told that youre getting in their way, your earlier core memories and habits kind of take a hit from that.

Most people come home to a chatting family, talk about their days, make plans, they basically flex and stretch their gray-matter. But what can you expect when this is missing from, uh 3/4s of your life?

>environment is everything
True, but the older you get the less this matters. After a lifetime of a bad environment not even being dropped into the best possible environment will make a difference. We never stop learning and changing, but they slow down to a degree we might as well believe they do.

>but as soon as you are left to your own devices, you go back to slothing.
>>309459
Ok explain Private Pyle then. You and I and everyone in this thread could become the best whatevervisionofimprovementyouhave, but at what cost and is it ultimately worth it?

>>309460
Yeah but military requires high amount of focus on your part lest you get fucked by someone else there. Adhd is hell wherever you go. But I don't know if that guy really has adhd. When you're living in isolation with nothing to look forward to, you experience symptoms not unlike adhd

>>309450
29 and I'm losing brainpower and motorfunctions. My mother has always been a braindead zombie that every once in a blue moon turns human and cognitive but most days she's a walking stereotype of a dumb 1960s succubus "oooo shoes" as she swerves the car into the median LOL. Then she will do the same mistake 5 minutes later… Dad has taken a massive decline in the last 5 years. He was always pretty sharp and calm, but whenever you ask him a question now he just opens his mouth and stares blankly at me like a boomer meme "WHAT?"