/dep/ - Depression

Then change it. Start exercising and make some healthy diet habits.

>>309622
I am healthy. My body is that typical skinny type. I go for a run 2 or 3 times each week. It isn't about a sick body, but feeling like this body is not really for me.

>>309621
Yes but it has nothing to do with the particulars of my body. Well, that is not entirely true, as my body generates my conscious experience. No matter. The human body really is just horribly grotesque. Bodily functions cause me immense discomfort. Having to use the bathroom for example. It is truly nightmarish to feel trapped inside of a foreign flesh suit. Even though this is an absurd notion as I am simply this body. There is no real separation. It only feels that way.

>>309624
Do you try to become more aware in your dreams? I do it, that is the only place where I feel free from the chains that a body imposes on me and chains me to the ground. But it's hard, and I haven't been disciplined at this.

My body feels like a prison that periodically tortures me with random pain

you're not healthy or have a healthy body
if you truly had a healthy body you wouldn't have those feelings

>>309627
Do healthy people do not get sick and die?

>>309626
Yes it's like a prison where guards can take the prisoners out into the yard so that they can take some of the sun and play any sport, and on another day they can give them a cold shower or get hurt by another prisoner.
Our bodies are like an unfair prision for our innocent souls

A bit. I'm trying to cultivate a style or persona that's "me" though and that has been kind of fun. The danger is turning into a walking social media profile so I try not to make politics, hobbies or lifestyles the look. I'll never be normal so why not lean into the eccentric?

>>309635
>A bit. I'm trying to cultivate a style or persona that's "me" though and that has been kind of fun
How is that? Where do you get such an idea from?


> I try not to make politics, hobbies or lifestyles the look
I cannot avoid doing that, at least with my hobby. Then, what do you make the look about?

>>309636
It's a balance of course, one runs the risk of turning into a "look at meeeee" situation or annoying everyone.

Minimalism, thrifting, homesteading, hippies, van life - alternative lifestyles have a lot to draw from without totally aping a specific lifestyle look. I guess for a specific example, I'm trying to avoid looking like "420 guy" and buying all weed stuff or something.

>>309636
>Where do you get such an idea from?
Boredom mostly. Gathering items and trying to make sense of them (clothes in this case) keeps the mind busy and passes time.

>>309637
>Minimalism, thrifting, homesteading, hippies, van
Do you practice some of this stuff?

>>309638
>Gathering items and trying to make sense of them (clothes in this case)
Hmmm interesting… i do it with books cuz I like reading and learning certain things from them but, how does one do that with clothes?

im a disgusting bulimic. but atleast im loosing weight again

>>309664
>but atleast im loosing weight again
Congratulation
Then, do you hate your body only due to your weight?

>>309664
There's no better way to burn fat, than to build muscle.

>>309665
even when i was 135 i still hated my body. i will always be ugly no matter the size.

I have a big bloated gut that's getting worse with age, I'm not very fat otherwise (this makes it stick out even more visually).

apparently fasting helps but that's easier said than done

I have a fat ass and a fat dick

>>309703
Ah, the Jeremy Clarkson. I have it a bit too. I just wear an unbuttoned work shirt over my outfit to have lines that go straight up and down instead of balloon shape.

>>309715
Look at anon hogging all the ass and pud lol

yeah I hate my body, feels like I'm just waiting until i'm dead

>>309736
>>309736
> I hate my body
Why? Is it for a similar reason like me or are you fat like the guys above?

Not really hate but I'm often somewhat uncomfortable in it due to IBS and tension in my muscles. I'm a neurotic person so I guess that's what causes it for the most part but probably also having tried to exercise too much and neglecting stretching or other things that release tension instead of adding to it.

I got fat due to binge eating from depression in highschool. I fasted and worked out to lose all the weight I had gained but my body was damaged I have disgusting stretch marks that feel itchy and gross to touch and loose saggy skin, when I realized there was nothing I could do to reverse the damage to my body I became distraught and horrified with my body eventually I put weight back on. I hate my body so much

i love my body, while everything around me crumbled and every friendship vanished it has been a miraculous source of strength and unstoppableness. it has been loyal, supportive and pleasant even before i learned what difference proper breathing breathing, proper food and deeper levels of nervous system connection have on the human body. i have fasted countless times, i believe in it wholeheartedly. everyone interested in fasting, please feel encouraged to pursue the interest, it is worth it just in terms of the mental clarity that fighting and winning against the temptation will bring into your life. i practice prevention, i am never sick, i rarely feel bad and if i do, it is usually because females behave horribly towards me, conspire against me and abuse me. i can't be in love with my body in public because females in their limitless aggression will detect the emotional state and try to violently intercept and capture the emotional energy and nourish themselves from it like the vampires they are.

i have read most of the thread. i have been mocked for my choice of food relentlessly by people who now feel like the people in this thread: miserable. i tried to warn people, i tried to spread the word how good what i have is, almost nobody cared. here is the next thing you will regret calling me a quack about once the knowledge finally trickles down in to the sewers where it can reach you: you think the human body can regenerate 5% or 10%. it is more like 60%, 80%, 95% of what can be healed.

>>309830
>tension in my muscles
Man I hate it so much! It happens to me in my legs, mainly when I'm lying in bed.

>>309852
Right? Lately my left quad in particular hurts when going up stars sometimes, like it's tight and straining to generate force. And the muscles between my shoulder blades have been very tight as well recently which is really uncomfortable. I think that one might be due to my sleeping position or bad pillow, since you mentioned the bed as well.

maybe if you change your body into a female body you'll get happier

>>309854
>. I think that one might be due to my sleeping position or bad pillow, since you mentioned the bed as well.
My solution for that was to spend less time in bed haha

>>309867
Nice if that's all it took. I'm currently shifting my exercise regimen towards more mobility and stretching rather than adding more tension through pure strength training, in hopes that it will help me feeling limber again. It's already getting better, I think.

Suffering from Klienfelter Syndrome is hell

>>309948
>Suffering from Klienfelter Syndrome is hell

what's the discomfort?

>>309949
he and the missus are trying to conceive but he has fertility problems… or he hates his bitch tits.

>>309769
my brain is fucked causing me to hear these voices which is driving me to hang myself
I can't believe I postponed another month, well, something very unlikely happened, I doubt it'll happen again, this month for sure

>>309983
>hear these voices

any idea where they might be coming from?

my guess is you could rule out some evil techsavy individual or group doing voice-to-skull on you by monitoring that the voices can only be heard when you are in one place or just in some places while in others you can't hear them.

another screenshot i had saved on voice to skull

>>309987
Wasn't this a metal problem or something? My whole live I was taught that.
Whatever, why anyone would do that to any guy?

>>309621
I wrote this at one point to capture the feeling but more aimed at other people but myself included:
when i look at people it feels like their flesh is limply hanging off of bones, ill fitting clothing is draped over and and the whole collection is a sick heap of bones and fat and flesh dressed up with scraps of fabric
looking at people makes me sick, it's like a boil about to burst, a mess of flesh and pus. these degraded people with degraded souls are already dead and decaying. the only growth in them is the growth a bacteria feeding on their decaying flesh, growing and writhing and gestating in it's disease. one day it will burst and their disgusting insides will flood out and seep into the ground and mix together and they'll be dead but their sickness and disease will have spread to everyone around them.

>>309635
I have also done this and it has helped quite a bit. Jung considers the persona, the external face, a necessary part of how we relate with the collective. It's necessary to have a mask if you want to relate to the collective, it's not actually possible or healthy to do it "as an individual". A big part of people's social disconnection I do think is the sort of lack of developing a persona and just distinguishing your self from the persona and recognizing it is just a mask you wear to make it easier to function socially.
If you think of the collective as a sort of collection of concepts/aesthetics/identities the persona is sort of a mediating layer. Your ego and your self interacts people through those collective concepts however to make who you are intelligible you need to sort of take what you can from the collective and incarnate it in that sort of persona representation of yourself. This is what provides the ability to comfortably socialize because you are doing it merely within the realm of the collective and it essentially has very little to do with you. The issue some people have is they abandon their self/ego and give over entirely to the collective and try to identify with their persona which is another error just in the other direction. The persona is not you, but it is the vehicle which you use to relate with the collective.
For me just good comfortable clothings/a style I feel sort of reflects who I am while still being broadly intelligible to normies has made me much more comfortable going outside.

>>309621
Also in general with existential disconnection from your body this is something authors have written about. If you can get any slightly physical skill (playing an instrument, singing, gardening, anything atheltic/lifting) it gets you much more in tune with your body. I got into playing guitar and found it helped quite a bit.

>>310019
Reading that brought to my mind a short reading of "society of transparency by byung chul han" in a part of his work he says that society in the 19th used to be a theatre where everybody was interpreting a character not allowig others to see one just as one is. But in modernity that is gone and everybody is looking to show off themselves like they really are.
Obviously he said that first is sane while the second isn't

>>310026
>19th
18th*

>>310019
>good comfortable clothings/a style I feel sort of reflects who I am

I always struggled with this. I felt like adopting any sort of style would make me feel like a poser because I don't belong to any social group and am an outsider. I don't want to join or be identified with any particular group.

>>309623
Not for you? So what sort of body would be for you then?

>>310050
>I don't want to join or be identified with any particular group.
Well, don't take it like that, just wear anything that makes you feel comfortable. Now about groups of people, you don't necessarily need to go around there looking for one and joining the one where you feel comfortable.

>>309987
it's just hearing voices
people seem to have a hard time comprehending this condition exists
it's something like amnesia or insomnia, will completely destroy your life