/dep/ - Depression

Then change it. Start exercising and make some healthy diet habits.

>>309622
I am healthy. My body is that typical skinny type. I go for a run 2 or 3 times each week. It isn't about a sick body, but feeling like this body is not really for me.

>>309621
Yes but it has nothing to do with the particulars of my body. Well, that is not entirely true, as my body generates my conscious experience. No matter. The human body really is just horribly grotesque. Bodily functions cause me immense discomfort. Having to use the bathroom for example. It is truly nightmarish to feel trapped inside of a foreign flesh suit. Even though this is an absurd notion as I am simply this body. There is no real separation. It only feels that way.

>>309624
Do you try to become more aware in your dreams? I do it, that is the only place where I feel free from the chains that a body imposes on me and chains me to the ground. But it's hard, and I haven't been disciplined at this.

My body feels like a prison that periodically tortures me with random pain

you're not healthy or have a healthy body
if you truly had a healthy body you wouldn't have those feelings

>>309627
Do healthy people do not get sick and die?

>>309626
Yes it's like a prison where guards can take the prisoners out into the yard so that they can take some of the sun and play any sport, and on another day they can give them a cold shower or get hurt by another prisoner.
Our bodies are like an unfair prision for our innocent souls

A bit. I'm trying to cultivate a style or persona that's "me" though and that has been kind of fun. The danger is turning into a walking social media profile so I try not to make politics, hobbies or lifestyles the look. I'll never be normal so why not lean into the eccentric?

>>309635
>A bit. I'm trying to cultivate a style or persona that's "me" though and that has been kind of fun
How is that? Where do you get such an idea from?


> I try not to make politics, hobbies or lifestyles the look
I cannot avoid doing that, at least with my hobby. Then, what do you make the look about?

>>309636
It's a balance of course, one runs the risk of turning into a "look at meeeee" situation or annoying everyone.

Minimalism, thrifting, homesteading, hippies, van life - alternative lifestyles have a lot to draw from without totally aping a specific lifestyle look. I guess for a specific example, I'm trying to avoid looking like "420 guy" and buying all weed stuff or something.

>>309636
>Where do you get such an idea from?
Boredom mostly. Gathering items and trying to make sense of them (clothes in this case) keeps the mind busy and passes time.

>>309637
>Minimalism, thrifting, homesteading, hippies, van
Do you practice some of this stuff?

>>309638
>Gathering items and trying to make sense of them (clothes in this case)
Hmmm interesting… i do it with books cuz I like reading and learning certain things from them but, how does one do that with clothes?

im a disgusting bulimic. but atleast im loosing weight again

>>309664
>but atleast im loosing weight again
Congratulation
Then, do you hate your body only due to your weight?

>>309664
There's no better way to burn fat, than to build muscle.

>>309665
even when i was 135 i still hated my body. i will always be ugly no matter the size.

I have a big bloated gut that's getting worse with age, I'm not very fat otherwise (this makes it stick out even more visually).

apparently fasting helps but that's easier said than done

I have a fat ass and a fat dick

>>309703
Ah, the Jeremy Clarkson. I have it a bit too. I just wear an unbuttoned work shirt over my outfit to have lines that go straight up and down instead of balloon shape.

>>309715
Look at anon hogging all the ass and pud lol

yeah I hate my body, feels like I'm just waiting until i'm dead

>>309736
>>309736
> I hate my body
Why? Is it for a similar reason like me or are you fat like the guys above?

Not really hate but I'm often somewhat uncomfortable in it due to IBS and tension in my muscles. I'm a neurotic person so I guess that's what causes it for the most part but probably also having tried to exercise too much and neglecting stretching or other things that release tension instead of adding to it.

I got fat due to binge eating from depression in highschool. I fasted and worked out to lose all the weight I had gained but my body was damaged I have disgusting stretch marks that feel itchy and gross to touch and loose saggy skin, when I realized there was nothing I could do to reverse the damage to my body I became distraught and horrified with my body eventually I put weight back on. I hate my body so much

i love my body, while everything around me crumbled and every friendship vanished it has been a miraculous source of strength and unstoppableness. it has been loyal, supportive and pleasant even before i learned what difference proper breathing breathing, proper food and deeper levels of nervous system connection have on the human body. i have fasted countless times, i believe in it wholeheartedly. everyone interested in fasting, please feel encouraged to pursue the interest, it is worth it just in terms of the mental clarity that fighting and winning against the temptation will bring into your life. i practice prevention, i am never sick, i rarely feel bad and if i do, it is usually because females behave horribly towards me, conspire against me and abuse me. i can't be in love with my body in public because females in their limitless aggression will detect the emotional state and try to violently intercept and capture the emotional energy and nourish themselves from it like the vampires they are.

i have read most of the thread. i have been mocked for my choice of food relentlessly by people who now feel like the people in this thread: miserable. i tried to warn people, i tried to spread the word how good what i have is, almost nobody cared. here is the next thing you will regret calling me a quack about once the knowledge finally trickles down in to the sewers where it can reach you: you think the human body can regenerate 5% or 10%. it is more like 60%, 80%, 95% of what can be healed.

>>309830
>tension in my muscles
Man I hate it so much! It happens to me in my legs, mainly when I'm lying in bed.

>>309852
Right? Lately my left quad in particular hurts when going up stars sometimes, like it's tight and straining to generate force. And the muscles between my shoulder blades have been very tight as well recently which is really uncomfortable. I think that one might be due to my sleeping position or bad pillow, since you mentioned the bed as well.

maybe if you change your body into a female body you'll get happier

>>309854
>. I think that one might be due to my sleeping position or bad pillow, since you mentioned the bed as well.
My solution for that was to spend less time in bed haha

>>309867
Nice if that's all it took. I'm currently shifting my exercise regimen towards more mobility and stretching rather than adding more tension through pure strength training, in hopes that it will help me feeling limber again. It's already getting better, I think.

Suffering from Klienfelter Syndrome is hell

>>309948
>Suffering from Klienfelter Syndrome is hell

what's the discomfort?

>>309949
he and the missus are trying to conceive but he has fertility problems… or he hates his bitch tits.

>>309769
my brain is fucked causing me to hear these voices which is driving me to hang myself
I can't believe I postponed another month, well, something very unlikely happened, I doubt it'll happen again, this month for sure

>>309983
>hear these voices

any idea where they might be coming from?

my guess is you could rule out some evil techsavy individual or group doing voice-to-skull on you by monitoring that the voices can only be heard when you are in one place or just in some places while in others you can't hear them.

another screenshot i had saved on voice to skull

>>309987
Wasn't this a metal problem or something? My whole live I was taught that.
Whatever, why anyone would do that to any guy?

>>309621
I wrote this at one point to capture the feeling but more aimed at other people but myself included:
when i look at people it feels like their flesh is limply hanging off of bones, ill fitting clothing is draped over and and the whole collection is a sick heap of bones and fat and flesh dressed up with scraps of fabric
looking at people makes me sick, it's like a boil about to burst, a mess of flesh and pus. these degraded people with degraded souls are already dead and decaying. the only growth in them is the growth a bacteria feeding on their decaying flesh, growing and writhing and gestating in it's disease. one day it will burst and their disgusting insides will flood out and seep into the ground and mix together and they'll be dead but their sickness and disease will have spread to everyone around them.

>>309635
I have also done this and it has helped quite a bit. Jung considers the persona, the external face, a necessary part of how we relate with the collective. It's necessary to have a mask if you want to relate to the collective, it's not actually possible or healthy to do it "as an individual". A big part of people's social disconnection I do think is the sort of lack of developing a persona and just distinguishing your self from the persona and recognizing it is just a mask you wear to make it easier to function socially.
If you think of the collective as a sort of collection of concepts/aesthetics/identities the persona is sort of a mediating layer. Your ego and your self interacts people through those collective concepts however to make who you are intelligible you need to sort of take what you can from the collective and incarnate it in that sort of persona representation of yourself. This is what provides the ability to comfortably socialize because you are doing it merely within the realm of the collective and it essentially has very little to do with you. The issue some people have is they abandon their self/ego and give over entirely to the collective and try to identify with their persona which is another error just in the other direction. The persona is not you, but it is the vehicle which you use to relate with the collective.
For me just good comfortable clothings/a style I feel sort of reflects who I am while still being broadly intelligible to normies has made me much more comfortable going outside.

>>309621
Also in general with existential disconnection from your body this is something authors have written about. If you can get any slightly physical skill (playing an instrument, singing, gardening, anything atheltic/lifting) it gets you much more in tune with your body. I got into playing guitar and found it helped quite a bit.

>>310019
Reading that brought to my mind a short reading of "society of transparency by byung chul han" in a part of his work he says that society in the 19th used to be a theatre where everybody was interpreting a character not allowig others to see one just as one is. But in modernity that is gone and everybody is looking to show off themselves like they really are.
Obviously he said that first is sane while the second isn't

>>310026
>19th
18th*

>>310019
>good comfortable clothings/a style I feel sort of reflects who I am

I always struggled with this. I felt like adopting any sort of style would make me feel like a poser because I don't belong to any social group and am an outsider. I don't want to join or be identified with any particular group.

>>309623
Not for you? So what sort of body would be for you then?

>>310050
>I don't want to join or be identified with any particular group.
Well, don't take it like that, just wear anything that makes you feel comfortable. Now about groups of people, you don't necessarily need to go around there looking for one and joining the one where you feel comfortable.

>>309987
it's just hearing voices
people seem to have a hard time comprehending this condition exists
it's something like amnesia or insomnia, will completely destroy your life

I wish I could be a floating cube. Six sides, perfect and even and smooth. Instead I'm a fucking sack of wet bones, poop, and a defective cystic brain.

>>310306
Sounds boring, I'd want to be a hyper intelligent being that can take over people's minds instead

>>310307

May I watch your mind-control plots as an impartial observer?
I'd want to eventually work toward ascending to something just short of immortal and mostly indestructible to act as a promethean but mostly hands-off guide for any species evolving intelligence, to see if they could amount to something better than us. Maybe I could get the 4D makeover.

you know what i hate about this thread? i know that most of you feel bad. i don't. you have admitted this in this thread.

but then when i go ahead and apply this information outside of this thread correctly and tell you that your opinions are invalid because you let your own degeneration happen while i didn't, you act like i said something wrong and proceed to treat me like a criminal even though i am completely justified in disrespecting you and looking down on you. you have to own your inferiority. i can never be wrong for speaking the truth.

>>310396
it's my right to hate myself, not your, so fuck off.

>>310420
>it's my right to hate myself, not your, so fuck off.

you say i am supposed to treat you with respect when you don't even respect yourself. well you've been wrong before a lot.

how about you handle being justifiably disregarded when you with no gun held to your head have chosen to act against your own self-interest.

Exactly as I said in another thread, I am mostly fit but I am extremely ugly, I have a round face, very circular, double chin, thin wrists, and I look disgusting, I mean I am disgusted by my own looks and it feels so horrible.

As I said, I saw two succubi unlike my skin which is all chopped up, they had amazing skin, I mean their legs were like butter, and it made me feel so uncomfortable, that I can hardly explain how much it did.

I felt so bad that I took the stairs to my apartment because they were taking the lift. I had no other way. I would've probably started to cry if I was in the lift with them. I do try to be compassionate towards my body cause all my body has is me and all I have is my body.

>>310476
Feeling bad abut your ski quality because you saw two FEMALES with better skin? Are YOU a female?
>I would've probably started to cry
?!?!?!?!?

>>310477
Well it's just they were better looking than me. Like super model tier. Their skin colour was better than that of my race though of course we both are natives if the same place. She was taller than me. And looked so nice I just didn't wanted to get, I suppose mogged all the way up the lift. And I was just sweating bullets looking at them. So I just climbed all the way through stairs. Reminds me of the moment when me and my father walked into an expensive restaurant as poor people. People could tell we weren't of that class and both me and my father just wanted to get the hell out of there.

I suppose it's a feeling of "Yeah I don't belong here.". Sorry can't explain this weird kind of hollowness and discomfort in these kinds of situations.

>>310476
>>310480
>Well it's just they were better looking than me.
It dosnt matter if its a succubi or a man or even a kid you know
I know about that feeling that too much beatiful people can cause when you see them, you just look to them and its like they crush you with their beauty.
Its similar when theres natural talent or skilled or people with something unique, even money or friends, healthy family, houses or routines or even a girlfriend (i dont crab anymore i talking in retrospective from i was young) its not about envy to me but more of admiration of material things we cant have now or maybe never will have, its literally destroy you.
>People could tell we weren't of that class and both me and my father just wanted to get the hell out of there.
The feeling of be a being out of place hurt so much
>I suppose it's a feeling of "Yeah I don't belong here.". Sorry can't explain this weird kind of hollowness and discomfort in these kinds of situations.
The woke and progresist of today speak a lot of inclusive things of people but in general all of them are very comfy in their ways of life and know nothing about this feeling of out of place, they just talk about empathy but they have little to no experience of it in their socially active and healthy circles. Sometimes i wonder if they just fake it to act or play like a hivemind but i know that maybe there's people with these experiences and do it at will and experience than based in attention-whoring acts.
Its kinda hard to live seing others sometimes, my Wizz bro.

>>309624
you are spiritually jewish, the kike views the body as a mere vehicle, nothing more

>>310499
you are spiritually nigger, the niggers view other people as a mere thingy to yap at, nothing more

I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I've always hated being so hairy. I remember being a child and looking at the few hairs on my arms with worry, thinking that I would end up as hairy as my father. That's one of the reasons why I've never tried anything with a succubus. I used to hope that one day I would live alone and be able to wax my whole body, but now I know that will never happen.

>>310510

The alternative can be shitty.
Used to get made fun of in locker rooms for barely having body hair. It devolved to homosexual 'normies' manhandling me. It got bad, so bad that one of the bullies told on them because he probably thought I'd show up with a gun. I still look like a middle schooler trying to grow a mustache if don't swipe a razor over my lip once a week, which I do because I'm paranoid of looking like a tranny now that I'm old. The occasional sex-obsessed normie getting their grimy gaze on me is disgusting. I don't brush my front teeth past what's needed, so I can disgust people outside with my plaque-caked teeth if all other measures fail to repulse them to the point I must break out my chimp grin. I stain my clothes and spray them with novelty cologne that smells like blood and iodine to be more revolting. My aversion to showers helps immensely. It works, I see people's interest visibly turn to figuring how fast they can retreat. I get mistaken as a pesky homeless in the rare occasions I have to go someplace other than my usual grocery store near closing or the liquor place in early morning, but every solution has its trade-offs and that is an acceptable one for me. I find more dignity in being visibly undesirable. True twink death can't come soon enough.

>>310496
Absolutely correct. In a very fucked up way, I am glad that I find someone who understands what I am saying. It's the same reason why I don't park my Hyundai Excel near a Camry even. Because you know, you know. I am glad I didn't take the damn lift that day because, if I would have I would have probably started to cry or had a brain stroke.