I am banned from reddit and twitter. I am so lonely at 37 and i feel like i'll never feel love or happy again, I have become too hateful for that. but its not just blind hate, where if I just let it go, we'll all be able to get along… its based in the truth, the world is my enemy, most actively hate me, and are horrible so i hate them. I just raged out against a pretty blonde from quora, because she's liberal and was like "I'm assuming you're single". I hate how even, especially, white succubi have been turned against straight white males like myself. She's probably among the type that'd side with lindsay clancy now too, there are so many of them.
Literally all I did today was goon to random chat succubi from other countries on phone apps I found from snapchat. I spend real money to do it. (better than OF) I didnt leave my room or eat. It felt so good but I feel so empty now. I want love again, I used to have it (still virgin tho, so still wizard), but it was with friends I knew in school and college, through friends of friends, or online forums that dont exist anymore. In a world that doesn't exist anymore. Where am I going to know her from now?
I have nothing like that anymore. I haven't had a date in years. My last relationship, my childhood oneitis who I trusted above any other succubus, finally got together with me after she was done with her abusive chads..and after saying how much she loved me, cheated…like any other whore. So she's gone forever now, I can't even have her as friend anymore.
I mostly just work a shitty job but never get ahead. I'm a hardworker but the only reason I even could GET this job is trump is president. If he weren't, I'd continue being DEI'd out like I was 4 years prior at even mcdonalds. I dont have friends, my old friend group trooned out, and even if I found another gf she'd probably just be a sex object to me I couldn't love like I used to, because I am now desperately wrapped up in lust.
I play rock guitar, sing, record songs, but it doesn't really matter even if i ever finished my mastapeeces because no one listens, and that is even more a red flag to succubi than to not do that these days, according to the internet. I still do it occasionally for fun and therapeutic, but lately I've been in a slump and realizing, because it has no real point, or any kind of art especially in an AI world anymore, it takes the joy out of doing it to know that dream of being an 80s rockstar will never be, so im just wasting time… why not waste it gooning instead, nothing really matters anymore anyway, the world's ending soon. 80% of humanity are incompatible with me anymore, they took the covid shot. Very likely that they gave their souls away and are now more demon than human, part of a giant human botnet that can tap into their mind at any time to use against me and the scattered last 20%, wherever they are.
I somewhat suspect this is what prompted my oneitis to suddenly fall back into my life and for me out of nowhere, and try to get me to take it so we could travel. The illuminati used her to try to get to me. And that didn't work so they gave her free will back and she reverted to whore. That's one way to look at it.
I taught myself IT and to get the comptia A+ certificate, which I had to pay for, and I'm working on getting the rest of the trifecta but it doesn't really matter, not even basic helpdesk is hiring anywhere I can find anyway. Even if I got in to that career, then I just get to deal with even more tech commies probably.
Overall, I'm caught between "its over, don't even try for a future" and "it can't be over, there's so much to do im just not trying enough" and caught between what is right and what this corrupt world finds right that I am now even doubting my own beliefs. No therapist can help me, they're part of the problem far as I see. Hell, my ex is a therapist.
I've even tried leaving the entire internet, to just not think about it, and I have, for a week or two (minus dating apps), but while I'm out there in the real world, when I'm not working or at the gym or gooning, going to places all alone and trying to fit into social groups where i dont belong, all I can think about is posting online for advice and frentalk. But I know I'll never find what im looking for here either, it's just the closest thing left to what the internet used to be like.
I don't know what to do I don't know where to go I dont even know what I like anymore, all that I used to be has been taken by either woke or AI. I sometimes meet people out there, we talk a little, but it never turns into anything more. I miss my old life i miss the old world, feel there's nothing for me anymore…but I'm never going to suicide.
this song came on my random mp3s while i was at work, and hit the depression just right so i'll post it to wrap up this blogpost -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5I62rOeXQoI don't think there's ever been a more downgraded remake than what they did to this song btw. Mindcrime vs Mindcrime 2 is a close second though…but that still had Dio.
I am aware that all these guys probably hate me too. Every artist I like is probably illuminati in some way. right then, back to bed