No.311314
This is my life, I can't take it anymore. Being unemployed for too long has made me depressed and crazy, just busy blaming others, spending time in front of my phone and computer screen. Bro, I'm going to die at home with my crazy parents who keep blaming me. I can't even die, it's so hard to find a job. I don't know what else to do. I want to die but I don't want to kill myself, I'm too scared to do it. In junior high, I thought the bullying and demands for school fees were the worst things I've ever experienced until I went crazy and thought about killing myself. But it turns out, being unemployed now is much worse than I thought, especially with crazy parents who keep blaming me every day until I want to die. Maybe financially I'm still supported by my parents, but mentally I'm a mess. I want to go crazy but I can't. The world seems to be holding me back, right? If I apply for a job and act crazy at work, the world will definitely hold me back, just like when I was in high school, I acted crazy as if someone was holding me back from acting crazy. I can't stand it anymore, I'm going to be wild and crazy hahahaha damn damn damn this world, I want to scream HUAAAHH… When I was in high school I was treated special by my friends at school but because of that I was also hated because they were ENVY of me who was liked by all my friends, unlike when I was in junior high where I was bullied and demands for school fees and in high school I deliberately gave a speech about covid 19 so that I would be evil, when I was in kindergarten I gave a monster speech so it seemed like there was something that fit with it and sure enough in high school those who thought I was evil and those who were jealous saw me get opportunities and I was pushed aside and now I've graduated from school and am unemployed with crazy parents and I'm going crazy, if this world thinks I'm evil and everyone thinks I'm evil why not, if I'm considered stupid and weird why don't I accept it all I'm evil, stupid, weird, and i deserved it. I watched a gore documentary and it turns out there are people who are more evil than me because I am evil because of Covid 19, and I am afraid of killers, but strangely, when I was in high school, there was a murder case and the trial never ended, 8 month case and strangely, the trial was over the next day when I gave a speech in class when I was in high school and now I have graduated and am unemployed.