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Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread
How do you deal with self pity and the feeling of missing out?
Like no matter how bad I want to escape there's a part of me that feels sad because it simply can't accept that it's over. I try to assess my situation objectively but my reason gets paralyzed by strong emotions and I resolve to crying and pitying myself over my wasted life. I know there is nothing left for me but a miserable drag, but the thought of leaving makes me so unconsolably sad. Please help me anons.
Like no matter how bad I want to escape there's a part of me that feels sad because it simply can't accept that it's over. I try to assess my situation objectively but my reason gets paralyzed by strong emotions and I resolve to crying and pitying myself over my wasted life. I know there is nothing left for me but a miserable drag, but the thought of leaving makes me so unconsolably sad. Please help me anons.
>>234475
Try anti-depressants if you haven't. I started them a while ago and they've been working far better than I thought they would.
Try anti-depressants if you haven't. I started them a while ago and they've been working far better than I thought they would.
>>234475
>How do you deal with self pity and the feeling of missing out?
You just don't, you can only control it to some extent. Everybody has self pity, expect for serial killers and maniacs of course. Some hide their self pity to appear strong, some tell others how that doesn't affect them. Some just refuse to accept that they have self pity out of shame and dumb down. But it will always be there. Everyone who appears to be completely chill has self pity too. It's just that they tend to suffer from it less often than you.
>Like no matter how bad I want to escape there's a part of me that feels sad because it simply can't accept that it's over.
Nobody does, not entirely. All of us feel what you feel, it's just about the intensity and frequency that's different in all of us.
>I try to assess my situation objectively but my reason gets paralyzed by strong emotions and I resolve to crying and pitying myself over my wasted life.
Maybe because you actually are overthinking it because everyone around you appears to be so perfect. So you're just loathing yourself expecting to assure yourself that you're punishing yourself or you think that continuously blaming and hating yourself may change your behaviour
I know there is nothing left for me but a miserable drag, but the thought of leaving makes me so unconsolably sad. Please help me anons.
>How do you deal with self pity and the feeling of missing out?
You just don't, you can only control it to some extent. Everybody has self pity, expect for serial killers and maniacs of course. Some hide their self pity to appear strong, some tell others how that doesn't affect them. Some just refuse to accept that they have self pity out of shame and dumb down. But it will always be there. Everyone who appears to be completely chill has self pity too. It's just that they tend to suffer from it less often than you.
>Like no matter how bad I want to escape there's a part of me that feels sad because it simply can't accept that it's over.
Nobody does, not entirely. All of us feel what you feel, it's just about the intensity and frequency that's different in all of us.
>I try to assess my situation objectively but my reason gets paralyzed by strong emotions and I resolve to crying and pitying myself over my wasted life.
Maybe because you actually are overthinking it because everyone around you appears to be so perfect. So you're just loathing yourself expecting to assure yourself that you're punishing yourself or you think that continuously blaming and hating yourself may change your behaviour
I know there is nothing left for me but a miserable drag, but the thought of leaving makes me so unconsolably sad. Please help me anons.
>>234474
I don't want to live. I have a tense strong feeling of just not wanting to live at all. The fact I can't change my major because the college staff is always so fucking shit and take years to do anything so i'm stuck with my shit classes that I don't want to do. The fact I have to work at some shit job part time next week and my parents are screaming at me to get a job. I don't want to live, nothing brings me joy anymore, everything is stressful, I stopped having fun years ago. I just don't want to wake up anymore.
I don't want to live. I have a tense strong feeling of just not wanting to live at all. The fact I can't change my major because the college staff is always so fucking shit and take years to do anything so i'm stuck with my shit classes that I don't want to do. The fact I have to work at some shit job part time next week and my parents are screaming at me to get a job. I don't want to live, nothing brings me joy anymore, everything is stressful, I stopped having fun years ago. I just don't want to wake up anymore.
>>234481
I know my words are probably just meaningless platitude to you, but I will try anyway. As someone who switched majors in college, and switched programs in grad school, just know it's not too late. Your only goal right now should be independence. Whether that's achieved through school or wageslavery or your choice, but take solace in knowing there will come a point when you don't have to take your parent's shit anymore. Even if you have to drop out, it wasn't wasted time as those credits, at least some of them, are transferable if you ever want to go back. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and there will be a day when your life is your own.
I know my words are probably just meaningless platitude to you, but I will try anyway. As someone who switched majors in college, and switched programs in grad school, just know it's not too late. Your only goal right now should be independence. Whether that's achieved through school or wageslavery or your choice, but take solace in knowing there will come a point when you don't have to take your parent's shit anymore. Even if you have to drop out, it wasn't wasted time as those credits, at least some of them, are transferable if you ever want to go back. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and there will be a day when your life is your own.
>>234482
Thanks wizzie, i'm just trying to get this shitty wageslave job so I can make money and move out. That's my main plan, I hope I can change my major in the summer or go to another competent fucking college without braindead staff.
Thanks wizzie, i'm just trying to get this shitty wageslave job so I can make money and move out. That's my main plan, I hope I can change my major in the summer or go to another competent fucking college without braindead staff.
Very bizarre to know that I will probably be homeless this year. I feel sort of ambivalent about it even though I should be terrified.
>>234484
I think that's the right feeling to have. You'll be okay, you'll just need some time to get back on your feet.
I think that's the right feeling to have. You'll be okay, you'll just need some time to get back on your feet.
Used to have nothing to live for. That was okay. Now that I long for something meaningful again it's all the more painful waking up and looking in the mirror at someone who can't attain it.
So I have this thought of going outside to ride my bike. Let me act on it. The thought is stupid…..
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I'm not depressed, I've just given up.
>>234508
gonna leave this website for a long time, maybe you'll leave and i'll come back when you leave.
gonna leave this website for a long time, maybe you'll leave and i'll come back when you leave.
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jerking off is a great consolation, by means of it one gets through many a dark night.
are you guys diagnosed with anything? if so what is it? do you take medication? I have severe anxiety
I want to kill my dog. My mother forced this creature on me and refuses to take care of it or walk it. I begged her not to get a pet but she did it anyway. She just lies in bed all day while the dog whines and chews everything.
Please just fucking die you stupid creature
Please just fucking die you stupid creature
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>>234544
I bet you like cats. I stomp on them and hit them with my car. Does this trigger you, faggot?
I bet you like cats. I stomp on them and hit them with my car. Does this trigger you, faggot?
>>234544
I like dogs because they are cute, tubby, and do not fall prey to the limitless greed and vice that Man is prone to in his selfish pursuit of raw material power.
I like dogs because they are cute, tubby, and do not fall prey to the limitless greed and vice that Man is prone to in his selfish pursuit of raw material power.
>have day off
>spend it hearing my parents yelling about the same bullshit they always do
Is it sad that I'd rather be wageslaving? At least then I'd be getting paid to feel uncomfortable.
>spend it hearing my parents yelling about the same bullshit they always do
Is it sad that I'd rather be wageslaving? At least then I'd be getting paid to feel uncomfortable.
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>>234546
>i like dogs cause they're cute
literally succ reasoning for almost everything
>and do not fall prey to the limitless greed and vice that Man is prone
what does men morality has to do here with anything? Bullshit made up reason. Just say you like dogs cause their cute, and that's beyond the point here, you can like something and accept they're a hassle.
>i like dogs cause they're cute
literally succ reasoning for almost everything
>and do not fall prey to the limitless greed and vice that Man is prone
what does men morality has to do here with anything? Bullshit made up reason. Just say you like dogs cause their cute, and that's beyond the point here, you can like something and accept they're a hassle.
>>234527
I got diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder.
It was a fucking scam, though. I was sad because my life was shit. My depression magically went away last year because the COVID lockdowns allowed me to finally work from home alone.
I got diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder.
It was a fucking scam, though. I was sad because my life was shit. My depression magically went away last year because the COVID lockdowns allowed me to finally work from home alone.
>>234526
It sounds as if there was something you still wanted to do in this world.
Whatever it is: don't lie to thyself.
>How do you deal with self pity and the feeling of missing out?
I drinked my own tears once, since heard it was therapeutical. The "missing out" things I accepted them as parasite viruses in my mind: they were never worth it neither really available. Juts ghosts put there to torture me with illusions.
>I try to assess my situation objectively but my reason gets paralyzed by strong emotions and I resolve to crying
Assuming what our fate is usually most relieving. I insist you should try drinking own tears.
>>234484
Sometimes the path of warp waning comes to us in a forceful way.
>>234526
>Self-destruction
>>234541
Is it yours or hers? I'd sell it if mine.
It sounds as if there was something you still wanted to do in this world.
Whatever it is: don't lie to thyself.
>How do you deal with self pity and the feeling of missing out?
I drinked my own tears once, since heard it was therapeutical. The "missing out" things I accepted them as parasite viruses in my mind: they were never worth it neither really available. Juts ghosts put there to torture me with illusions.
>I try to assess my situation objectively but my reason gets paralyzed by strong emotions and I resolve to crying
Assuming what our fate is usually most relieving. I insist you should try drinking own tears.
>>234484
Sometimes the path of warp waning comes to us in a forceful way.
>>234526
>Self-destruction
>>234541
Is it yours or hers? I'd sell it if mine.
>>234474
I've become entirely hopeless, no longer understand even basic things or why people do them, nothing enjoyable at all anymore. I am like a bag in the wind, totally alienated from every aspect of my own life and only existing because it has become the path of least resistance. If i didn't have any family members who still tried to keep contact with me i would kill myself without hesitation
I've become entirely hopeless, no longer understand even basic things or why people do them, nothing enjoyable at all anymore. I am like a bag in the wind, totally alienated from every aspect of my own life and only existing because it has become the path of least resistance. If i didn't have any family members who still tried to keep contact with me i would kill myself without hesitation
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>>234564
Well put, wiz.
Well put, wiz.
>>234549
No, but in the meantime you can get some earbuds and over-the-ear protection for cheap. I use this when working on machinery all day, listening to audiobooks.
No, but in the meantime you can get some earbuds and over-the-ear protection for cheap. I use this when working on machinery all day, listening to audiobooks.
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Constantly being on my own is making me depressed. All the things I do feel invalid when there's no one to perceive them. I feel like I'm in some sort of limbo waiting for things to happen or pick up again. For someone to pull me out of this. But I know it won't happen. Also I'm glad the rona happened so I'm not the only sad fuck who didn't see friends on new years. Fuck you bitches now you can be lonely too.
>>234565
It's hard to write anything coherent nowadays, it took me a lot of time to think that small post through and make it readable. I wish i wasn't afraid of the pain before death and what my family might think so i could just kill myself now, but alas i am far too mentally weak for it at the moment
It's hard to write anything coherent nowadays, it took me a lot of time to think that small post through and make it readable. I wish i wasn't afraid of the pain before death and what my family might think so i could just kill myself now, but alas i am far too mentally weak for it at the moment
just because I'm fucking anxious and get a nervous tick of biting my tongue doesn't mean I'm retarded fuck you familyu
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUCK FUCK FUCK WHY IS ALCOHOL ALLOWED EVYERHWERE BUT WEED IS ILLEGAL FUCK THESE STUPID NIGGER CATTLE NORMALFAGS WEED MAKES ME HAPPY AND CALM LIQUOR JUST MAKES ME FUCKING ANGRTY AND SAD I CAN'T ENJOY SHIT WHILE DRUNK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Ranting about my health a bit-
Been addicted to opiates a long time so they masked a lot of pain. Sober finally 5 weeks. Testicles have hurt entire time, figured it was a quirk of withdrawal but the pain didn't stop. I went to a clinic finally that's overrun with anxious parents wanting to make sure their 5 year old precious gem doesn't have COVID. I get in last, nurse checks my testicles. Says it's epididymitis. Says most common cause is from STDs. I explain to her this is impossible as I've never had sex. She still makes me take an STD test and gives me antibiotics, surprise the antibiotics don't work and I also don't have a urinary tract infection. I really don't want to lose my testicles.
Trying to get into my old doctor I saw 15 months ago but he's disappeared off of the face of the earth so I guess I gotta find a new doctor. IBS constantly, maybe chron's disease, my intestines hurts all the time when under stress. My intestines and left ball throb all the time in pain. I want so bad to go back on opiates but I know they're the shit that got me here in the 1st place and the pain is a reminder to stay clean. So it sucks, going to try to get into another doctor tomorrow but I think it'll be some 1-3 months wait bullshit to see a new GP. Just overall extremely frustrated that my health is shit. Trying to walk more, usually do 30 minutes a day but sometimes I'm so tired and my pain is so intense that I have to stop after 15 minutes and go lie down. Both my intestinal and testicular pain get worse when I'm under worse stress. Also have to go to the bathroom in the mornings like 3 times an hour for several hours even if I don't drink coffee. My health is so beyond fucked because I've been addicted to high quantities of various drugs for 7 years. And also was addicted to drugs before that. But I guess the good news is that I'm able to stay sober for now and it's the longest stretch of sobriety I've had.
Been addicted to opiates a long time so they masked a lot of pain. Sober finally 5 weeks. Testicles have hurt entire time, figured it was a quirk of withdrawal but the pain didn't stop. I went to a clinic finally that's overrun with anxious parents wanting to make sure their 5 year old precious gem doesn't have COVID. I get in last, nurse checks my testicles. Says it's epididymitis. Says most common cause is from STDs. I explain to her this is impossible as I've never had sex. She still makes me take an STD test and gives me antibiotics, surprise the antibiotics don't work and I also don't have a urinary tract infection. I really don't want to lose my testicles.
Trying to get into my old doctor I saw 15 months ago but he's disappeared off of the face of the earth so I guess I gotta find a new doctor. IBS constantly, maybe chron's disease, my intestines hurts all the time when under stress. My intestines and left ball throb all the time in pain. I want so bad to go back on opiates but I know they're the shit that got me here in the 1st place and the pain is a reminder to stay clean. So it sucks, going to try to get into another doctor tomorrow but I think it'll be some 1-3 months wait bullshit to see a new GP. Just overall extremely frustrated that my health is shit. Trying to walk more, usually do 30 minutes a day but sometimes I'm so tired and my pain is so intense that I have to stop after 15 minutes and go lie down. Both my intestinal and testicular pain get worse when I'm under worse stress. Also have to go to the bathroom in the mornings like 3 times an hour for several hours even if I don't drink coffee. My health is so beyond fucked because I've been addicted to high quantities of various drugs for 7 years. And also was addicted to drugs before that. But I guess the good news is that I'm able to stay sober for now and it's the longest stretch of sobriety I've had.
>>234609
Good for you wiz. These fucking retards that constantly demand covid tests are so annoying, good luck to you and your sobriety.
Good for you wiz. These fucking retards that constantly demand covid tests are so annoying, good luck to you and your sobriety.
Do wizards here that also have mental illness get treated like a baby/mentally retarded person in real life? Whenever I have to do something where I'm talking with people like at a doctor, the bank, in the classroom, or just about anything like that, people think I am mentally retarded and will talk to me like I am a child, I look pretty young for a 24 year old so maybe it's not that weird but I don't understand what I'm doing wrong, people never even call me 'sir' they will call me buddy or pal and generally talk in a really soft way to me.
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>>234618
Happens to me, too. On the bright side, they won't subject you to any mind games or social "roughhousing" like they do with people they consider to be their equals/inferiors.
Happens to me, too. On the bright side, they won't subject you to any mind games or social "roughhousing" like they do with people they consider to be their equals/inferiors.
>>234608
honestly THE dumbest thing (((mankind))) is still doing, its is understandable though to have the cattle drunk to keep them fucking killing and what not, but holy shit….. you are born without anything making sense and after a while you discover a plant growing in the wild that would give you something to wake up for in the morning and you find out there are things called "legal issues" fucking you up the ass I mean wow…
honestly THE dumbest thing (((mankind))) is still doing, its is understandable though to have the cattle drunk to keep them fucking killing and what not, but holy shit….. you are born without anything making sense and after a while you discover a plant growing in the wild that would give you something to wake up for in the morning and you find out there are things called "legal issues" fucking you up the ass I mean wow…
Started taking anti-depressants and they are working extremely well at suppressing human emotions and bringing out the rationality in the back of everyone's mind.
I realized I've spent my whole life by myself.
So now it's no wonder that things aren't going according to plan.
Curious what I am supposed to do from here. I am built to be by myself. I am not even a worker. I am just a guy who sits by myself in my room. That is what I have done since I can remember.
So now it's no wonder that things aren't going according to plan.
Curious what I am supposed to do from here. I am built to be by myself. I am not even a worker. I am just a guy who sits by myself in my room. That is what I have done since I can remember.
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Despite all efforts I guess my nature is to be lazy and have no self-control. Cool I guess.
I intended to, and perhaps still do, wish to commit suicide in the future. Because of this i have disregarded everything in my life and it has in effect become unlivable, my house is squalor, i do not care about my job and work so little (part time) that i am at a net deficit of money every month. However, i have realised that i likely don't have the will or strength to commit suicide and i don't know if i ever will.
Now i am stuck in this unlivable life with no ways to better it and no exit.
Now i am stuck in this unlivable life with no ways to better it and no exit.
Why is everyone on the internet disciplined and hard working? I feel like I'm the only person who truly does nothing all day but wasting time away.
>>234717
> Why is everyone on the internet disciplined and hard working?
I cannot fathom how you came to that conclusion
> Why is everyone on the internet disciplined and hard working?
I cannot fathom how you came to that conclusion
>>234717
I don't know why you would think that but if it makes you feel any better I also do nothing other than "wasting" time.
I don't know why you would think that but if it makes you feel any better I also do nothing other than "wasting" time.
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>>234474
Man, parents got hooked up in the patriot youtuber/Qboomer train. Have to hear them both listen to all that cult like parroting all day and it's taking its toll on my mind.
>>234717
People lie/exaggerate, at times even unconsciously, to make themselves look better than what they really are. It's a way to protect the ego.
Man, parents got hooked up in the patriot youtuber/Qboomer train. Have to hear them both listen to all that cult like parroting all day and it's taking its toll on my mind.
>>234717
People lie/exaggerate, at times even unconsciously, to make themselves look better than what they really are. It's a way to protect the ego.
I really, really reset the younger version of me for not brushing my teeth. Even though I take care of my teeth now, they're still slowly getting worse and the pain gets a little harder to deal with each year. Can't even enjoy the basic pleasures of eating and sleeping.
Has anyone else fucked their life to the point they have accepted in and wonder if you are still depressed and then you remember you still cut yourself and are unable to enjoy life whilst thinking of killing yourself all the time?
I just feel so far gone and glad I accepted life is fucked and honestly there is nothing I would want from it but a friend yet it is sad I am such trash better off dead and too bitch to kms.
Wizzies I wish I did not have mental issues I wish I was not entirely numb.
I just feel so far gone and glad I accepted life is fucked and honestly there is nothing I would want from it but a friend yet it is sad I am such trash better off dead and too bitch to kms.
Wizzies I wish I did not have mental issues I wish I was not entirely numb.
>>234731
I don't like them either, but I guess it has a worst effect on you, I usually just ignore them
I don't like them either, but I guess it has a worst effect on you, I usually just ignore them
>>234481
ah, I don't even want to do anything anymore. I picked my major not based on what I liked the most but rather what I disliked the least. I don't care about living or dying at this point; I just want to be freed from all obligations
ah, I don't even want to do anything anymore. I picked my major not based on what I liked the most but rather what I disliked the least. I don't care about living or dying at this point; I just want to be freed from all obligations
Got really angry a couple of hours ago and I still haven't calmed down. I'm a big emotional baby :)
>>234769
<get rid of all obligations
Became NEET for a year after finishing my master and it was by far the best year of my life. So I agree, having no obligation at all is truly healing. It was the first time in my life where I had really time for myself and I never understood before how much I needed that. Just doing nothing while doing nothing is completely fine because there is no pressure. This must end soon as I need to earn money, but I can't stress enough how important it is to just have a time where you are actually free.
<get rid of all obligations
Became NEET for a year after finishing my master and it was by far the best year of my life. So I agree, having no obligation at all is truly healing. It was the first time in my life where I had really time for myself and I never understood before how much I needed that. Just doing nothing while doing nothing is completely fine because there is no pressure. This must end soon as I need to earn money, but I can't stress enough how important it is to just have a time where you are actually free.
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I don't want to go back to work, I just want bux forever. DID YOU HEAR THAT BIDEN? I'M NOT GETTING BACK IN THE FUCKING CAGE, YOU OLD FAGGOT.
I fucking hate the normalscum attitude of "things can always get better!". This vapid and ignorant platitude is all the more cruel when in reality the total inverse is true, things almost never get better and always can get worse, as i'm sure many of you know.
Whenever i hear my family tell me this i want to attack them, it is nothing more than a cruel joke directed at me.
Whenever i hear my family tell me this i want to attack them, it is nothing more than a cruel joke directed at me.
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF FIRST WORLDERS SAYING THAT LIFE SUCKS! THAT THINGS WONT GET BETTER! THAT LIFE IS UNFAIR! THAT THEY ARE MENTALLY SICK! THAT THEY ARE ALONE! FUCK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE FUCKERS! The only suffering acceptable is when you dont have running water and access to food and heart. Everything else is a show. Everyrthing else is not real. Everything else is bullshit.
>>234798
imagine thinking only turd worlders can be miserable more like 1st worlders are more miserable
imagine thinking only turd worlders can be miserable more like 1st worlders are more miserable
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>>234798
first worlders and their succubi tier problems are literally cancer, funniest part is they really believe they're going through a lot even when they have a lot and more of what is needed to survive. Any complaint by them regarding life or "struggle" is like hearing a succubus crying for not having a boyfriend. Guess they are the niggers who think money won't make you happy.
first worlders and their succubi tier problems are literally cancer, funniest part is they really believe they're going through a lot even when they have a lot and more of what is needed to survive. Any complaint by them regarding life or "struggle" is like hearing a succubus crying for not having a boyfriend. Guess they are the niggers who think money won't make you happy.
>>234808
Maybe to someone getting torture right now or having a cluster headache you're the one that is not "really suffering and being a crybaby". What I mean to say is suffering is extremely subjective for someone and depends on many factors. So even a trillionaire can suffer. Maybe you dont want to believe it because you cant fathom his experience but that doesnt mean it isnt occuring. Anyway, all life is suffering no need to have a competition on who has it worst…
Maybe to someone getting torture right now or having a cluster headache you're the one that is not "really suffering and being a crybaby". What I mean to say is suffering is extremely subjective for someone and depends on many factors. So even a trillionaire can suffer. Maybe you dont want to believe it because you cant fathom his experience but that doesnt mean it isnt occuring. Anyway, all life is suffering no need to have a competition on who has it worst…
I'm so fucking tired of normalfags who shame NEETs because they aren't wage slaves like them. It isn't easy to get a job anymore. Welcome to 2021.
>just apply
>it's so easy to get a job
>they'll hire anyone with a pulse
Yeah it was easy for you to find a slave master, you stupid sheep. Doesn't mean it's easy for me too.
>just apply
>it's so easy to get a job
>they'll hire anyone with a pulse
Yeah it was easy for you to find a slave master, you stupid sheep. Doesn't mean it's easy for me too.
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i hate the fact that i live in unbearable physical pain every day and my doctors dont care about me and my parents would rather ignore the problem than deal with the uncomfortable fact that nothing is being done for me and i have suffered for years and that i have to use mind altering in order to just cope with each waking minute and i would really rather not be alive ive told them so many times i am saving my money to go to another country to be seen by doctors in one last ditch attempt of saving my life… its all there is left to do….. if nothing else i am going to be roping at the end of this year that is my new years resolution. finally peace i want to be dead i want to be in the ground no more physical pain no more mental anguish that i wont ever be able to do the things that make a person a real human because i am truly disabled not like most welfare rats i have real true problems and i would rather work at mcdonalds today and be healthy than sit in a bsement collecting neetbux. this is it 12/31/21 my last day alive unless some shit changes real soon. ill post here on 12/31/21 if i got some relief from my problem or if i end it and fuck off im not livestreaming i want my suicide to be just one peaceful and private moment that no other son of a bitch can ever take from me. fuck my fucking piece of shit human body for taking every chance i ever had at having a fulfilling life. its truly not fair people rot in prison who are perfectly healthy but retarded shit they did. i was always a kind polite and respectful person and i did everything my family and society and the textbooks told me to do and here i am. fuck life. mainlander was right
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>>234829
what's the source of this? Is it a jav? I've seen it too many times and I think I read it was a jav on 4chan many years ago.
what's the source of this? Is it a jav? I've seen it too many times and I think I read it was a jav on 4chan many years ago.
>>234827
Right? Only jobs I can find and literally work are warehouses. Even Mc donalds where I live isn't hiring and has too many people. How the fuck are you supposed to get a job if no one will hire?
Right? Only jobs I can find and literally work are warehouses. Even Mc donalds where I live isn't hiring and has too many people. How the fuck are you supposed to get a job if no one will hire?
>>234808
This relativistic view of pain and suffering is terrible. Somewhere there is someone even poorer and worse off than you, guaranteed. That doesn't lessen your suffering.
This relativistic view of pain and suffering is terrible. Somewhere there is someone even poorer and worse off than you, guaranteed. That doesn't lessen your suffering.
>>234544
dogs are really the only animals that are known to try to rescue or help their owners with very few and rare exceptions\\
so dogs are alright with me. a dog will love you more than a succubus ever will
dogs are really the only animals that are known to try to rescue or help their owners with very few and rare exceptions\\
so dogs are alright with me. a dog will love you more than a succubus ever will
>>234843
>a dog will love you more than a succubus ever will
of course they will, you could be a serial rapist and murdered, and your dog will still be happy to see you and love you
I bet many wizard's bullies got lots of love from their dogs :)
>a dog will love you more than a succubus ever will
of course they will, you could be a serial rapist and murdered, and your dog will still be happy to see you and love you
I bet many wizard's bullies got lots of love from their dogs :)
>>234844
true. but the wizards dogs also loved the bullied wizards. dogs are pretty indifferent to human problems. enlightened or stupid, it must be a good life for them
true. but the wizards dogs also loved the bullied wizards. dogs are pretty indifferent to human problems. enlightened or stupid, it must be a good life for them
>>234474
ill be honest i kind of hate pic related, anon.
the characters represented here all represent happy moments in my childhood. its a decent thread, though. no disrespect.
my childhood is a sacred memory for me, man. the only time i was really happy…….
ill be honest i kind of hate pic related, anon.
the characters represented here all represent happy moments in my childhood. its a decent thread, though. no disrespect.
my childhood is a sacred memory for me, man. the only time i was really happy…….
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>>234855
Imagine ever being happy in life like a normalfag. seriously though thats nice wizzie
Imagine ever being happy in life like a normalfag. seriously though thats nice wizzie
Been beaten down by crippling depression/anxiety/OCD for the last few years. I cannot stand this existence. I want to sleep forever. I hate waking up.
>>234866
i think its possible to be happy without succubi bro. its lifes other problems that bother me more honestly.
i think its possible to be happy without succubi bro. its lifes other problems that bother me more honestly.
Oh fuck I wrote this when I was drunk two nights ago and I'm embarrassed. What a stupid assertion.
My body is falling apart. I have hemoroids and im tired all the time. Just woke up after 4 hours of sleep, then i get tired after 5 hours then i sleep for another 8 hours. I hate being fatigued all the time and not having energy for even simple things as vidya
>>234936
me too.
what the fuck is wrong with us?
its not just depression. like there is something very physically wrong with me.
ive been diagnosed with lots of shit before. but this is something insidious and affecting my whole body.
it just walloped me last winter and ive been like this since. i really wonder if its the longterm effects of whatever biowarfare we got hit with.
me too.
what the fuck is wrong with us?
its not just depression. like there is something very physically wrong with me.
ive been diagnosed with lots of shit before. but this is something insidious and affecting my whole body.
it just walloped me last winter and ive been like this since. i really wonder if its the longterm effects of whatever biowarfare we got hit with.
>>234936
>tired all the time
How the fuck is it possible to sleep 8-12 hours and wake up feeling as if you never slept but are not "tired" enough to sleep again? do normal people ever get this or is it just depressed people I was only thinking today how I have not felt refreshed since I was a wizkid.
>tired all the time
How the fuck is it possible to sleep 8-12 hours and wake up feeling as if you never slept but are not "tired" enough to sleep again? do normal people ever get this or is it just depressed people I was only thinking today how I have not felt refreshed since I was a wizkid.
>>234936
Every single morning I wake up with a raging, infuriating, mind numbing, soul crushing, relentless, unholy headache.
This is killing me. It must be a tumor. Why can't I wake up and feel decent only once. God I'm so done with everything. It's like my head conspires against myself. This is the the conspiracy against the self set up by the flesh. It's random, it has no porpuse, no reason, no aim. It's simply there. It's an imperative of pain, the evidence of evil. Too many words. My head is pulsing and I only want it to stop.
Every single morning I wake up with a raging, infuriating, mind numbing, soul crushing, relentless, unholy headache.
This is killing me. It must be a tumor. Why can't I wake up and feel decent only once. God I'm so done with everything. It's like my head conspires against myself. This is the the conspiracy against the self set up by the flesh. It's random, it has no porpuse, no reason, no aim. It's simply there. It's an imperative of pain, the evidence of evil. Too many words. My head is pulsing and I only want it to stop.
>>234936
>I have hemoroids
I probably do so too, now and then my butt hurts and when it gets really bad I shit blood. Haven't seen a doctor, fuck that.
>I have hemoroids
I probably do so too, now and then my butt hurts and when it gets really bad I shit blood. Haven't seen a doctor, fuck that.
>>234944
I shit blood since 2012. You'll get used to it. You won't get used to the pain though. I'm also somewhat incontinent since one year. I'll have an operation next month but there is no guarantee it will help.
I shit blood since 2012. You'll get used to it. You won't get used to the pain though. I'm also somewhat incontinent since one year. I'll have an operation next month but there is no guarantee it will help.
>>234956
For me it was mostly genetic. Normally you can avoid this by enough movement, no junk food, healthy lifestyle this type of stuff. In 2012 I used to go outside a lot due to work and was quite fit. I also did sports in my school years before. There was never anything I could have done about this. The last years I became lazy and NEET and of course the condition got much much worse. When I go to the toilet now I calculate pain for the next hours every time. I'm scared of eating for that reason. It sucks.
For me it was mostly genetic. Normally you can avoid this by enough movement, no junk food, healthy lifestyle this type of stuff. In 2012 I used to go outside a lot due to work and was quite fit. I also did sports in my school years before. There was never anything I could have done about this. The last years I became lazy and NEET and of course the condition got much much worse. When I go to the toilet now I calculate pain for the next hours every time. I'm scared of eating for that reason. It sucks.
>>234956
>How do you get ass sores
First year of college spent months eating nothing but rice and noodles, my shits started getting harder and harder, one day I went to the toilet and it wouldn't come out… I pushed really hard because I wanted to be done with it, it hurt a lot and it came out with a little blood and left my asshole all sore and swollen, it never really healed, so it comes back now and then, this was five years ago. spending most of my day sitting on my ass doesn't help, of course.
>how can I avoid them?
Eat a lot of vegetables, walk, drink a lot of water, don't push the turn too hard if it doesn't want to come out.
>How do you get ass sores
First year of college spent months eating nothing but rice and noodles, my shits started getting harder and harder, one day I went to the toilet and it wouldn't come out… I pushed really hard because I wanted to be done with it, it hurt a lot and it came out with a little blood and left my asshole all sore and swollen, it never really healed, so it comes back now and then, this was five years ago. spending most of my day sitting on my ass doesn't help, of course.
>how can I avoid them?
Eat a lot of vegetables, walk, drink a lot of water, don't push the turn too hard if it doesn't want to come out.
i keep going back and forth on suicide. im a hikki neet but ive done the whole self improvement thing and it didnt make me happy, just stressed. im 18 years old in the confidence of my youth and trying to decide how i want to live the rest of my life none of the options really sound good. like living 50-60 more years sounds like itd really suck, regardless of how i live it.
>>234941
I hope there is some doctor here in this thread because man I am living the same hell as well, just as you described it, it is raging, and I actually rage whenever it comes, I start to get angry, and it has no purpose, yet, it always take place and do only vanish after almost an hour or more
I hope there is some doctor here in this thread because man I am living the same hell as well, just as you described it, it is raging, and I actually rage whenever it comes, I start to get angry, and it has no purpose, yet, it always take place and do only vanish after almost an hour or more
I don't want to be a wageslave for the rest of my life. Life of of a hikki neet is a paradise in comparison.
>>235031
>ive done the whole self improvement
>im 18 years old
Please, go back where you came from (r9k, crab forums)
>ive done the whole self improvement
>im 18 years old
Please, go back where you came from (r9k, crab forums)
>>235086
dude i have been here since i was 16 im not leaving. and theres no rules against adult 18 year old males
dude i have been here since i was 16 im not leaving. and theres no rules against adult 18 year old males
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>>235031
It's ok, you're likely just a failed normalfag. Wait until you're 10 years older to start complaining about hikki-neetdom, then I'll take you more seriously.
It's ok, you're likely just a failed normalfag. Wait until you're 10 years older to start complaining about hikki-neetdom, then I'll take you more seriously.
>>235083
There is nothing more wrong than being a jobless person. Nothing that we live today can compare to how life would be if all the people in this country had jobs.
There is nothing more wrong than being a jobless person. Nothing that we live today can compare to how life would be if all the people in this country had jobs.
>>235094
Please tell me you are trolling. If anything most jobs do more harm than good overall.
Please tell me you are trolling. If anything most jobs do more harm than good overall.
>>235092
This anon speaks true, but please don't take this as an invitation or challenge into the Wiz lifestyle. Either you were meant for it or you weren't.
>>235094
I believe a feeling of contribution is important to a person's mental health, but you don't necessarily need to get this through jobs. And many people with jobs don't feel this feeling of contribution anyways. It feels good to help and contribute to others.
This anon speaks true, but please don't take this as an invitation or challenge into the Wiz lifestyle. Either you were meant for it or you weren't.
>>235094
I believe a feeling of contribution is important to a person's mental health, but you don't necessarily need to get this through jobs. And many people with jobs don't feel this feeling of contribution anyways. It feels good to help and contribute to others.
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You know what's worse than being unemployed? Knowing that niggers and people with Down syndrome can get jobs but I can't. I'm literally on the very bottom rung of the ladder of wage slavery.
>>235103
Niggers and downies have jobs precisely because they're niggers and downies, no sane employer would hire them, but the cucked government basically pays people to hire them.
Niggers and downies have jobs precisely because they're niggers and downies, no sane employer would hire them, but the cucked government basically pays people to hire them.
>>235087
You are neither hikki nor an adult. You don't belong here.
Rule 1. You must be a male virgin and at least 18 years old to use this website.
Just kill yourself already and spare us from more retarded posts.
You are neither hikki nor an adult. You don't belong here.
Rule 1. You must be a male virgin and at least 18 years old to use this website.
Just kill yourself already and spare us from more retarded posts.
Its crazy how little responsibilities parents take in how people like us turn out. I was on my dad's pc and in the search history was "my 27 year old has no drive" (yes that whole string because thats how dumb my dad is) Im thinking yeah because you never supported anything I showed an interest in growing up. As if I can just will myself into a better job with no education because my parents refuse to pay for it. I dont have any skills to cash in on because my whole childhood consisted of following rules and never doing anything that was preapproved of.
>>235127
give the poor guy a break he is only fucking human and loves you for christ's sake. You would be much worse if you didn't have a father growing up.
give the poor guy a break he is only fucking human and loves you for christ's sake. You would be much worse if you didn't have a father growing up.
Body and mind still reacting to a small social interaction. They take hours to return to baseline even after I’ve identified what caused the original emotional response. This brain has been conditioned to suffer.
One of these days I will become sober for longer than a week. One day. In an other time. Maybe.
today hard day
not over yet but tough painful
have to keep going (?)
no point in being articulate it's all the same shit
so tired
not over yet but tough painful
have to keep going (?)
no point in being articulate it's all the same shit
so tired
is anyone else here force addicted to benzos? They are psychologically and physically addictive but they are also the only reason I’ve made any progress in my life the past 5-6 years, I don’t know how to feel about it but it makes me feel guilty like I am a drug addict even though I have severe mental illness.
Been contemplating suicide for the past four days, just telling myself over and over I've got nothing else going on and hoping I finally take the fucking hint and do something about it though that seems unlikely
I'm so fucking depressed I can barely move since my limbs feel like they weigh a thousand pounds, I've been shambling around like some sort of zombie which makes sense since I feel like a soulless corpse that's too stupid too just lie down
I'm so goddamn tired of this whole thing, I just want to be over
I'm so fucking depressed I can barely move since my limbs feel like they weigh a thousand pounds, I've been shambling around like some sort of zombie which makes sense since I feel like a soulless corpse that's too stupid too just lie down
I'm so goddamn tired of this whole thing, I just want to be over
Just found out the hermit living alone in japan https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBtBePnUOZU&ab_channel=VICE
got forced of the hospital, put in a hospital and they told him he could not return there.
>Now he’s not allowed to return. “My wish is to die here without bothering anyone,” he once told Cerezo. “I want to be killed by a typhoon, so nobody can try to save me.”
Why the fuck can't normalfags just leave people alone, it's like they think they always know better
got forced of the hospital, put in a hospital and they told him he could not return there.
>Now he’s not allowed to return. “My wish is to die here without bothering anyone,” he once told Cerezo. “I want to be killed by a typhoon, so nobody can try to save me.”
Why the fuck can't normalfags just leave people alone, it's like they think they always know better
>>235167
https://meaww.com/naked-hermit-82-loved-life-seclusion-isolation-uninhabited-island-sotobanari-forced-civilization-health-weak
>'Naked Hermit', 82, who lived a life of seclusion on an uninhabited island for 3 decades, forced back into civilization
>Nagasaki was evicted from the island – where there is no running water – after someone found him looking 'weak' and disheveled, according to Alvaro Cerezo, a writer and filmmaker who spoke to news.com.au. As of now, the hermit has been shifted to a government house 60 km away in Ishigaki city after law enforcement authorities were reported of his condition.
>According to Cerezo, Nagasaki's island life is "over" and he isn't allowed to return despite his health being "okay" and that he "probably only had the flu" when he was found.
https://meaww.com/naked-hermit-82-loved-life-seclusion-isolation-uninhabited-island-sotobanari-forced-civilization-health-weak
>'Naked Hermit', 82, who lived a life of seclusion on an uninhabited island for 3 decades, forced back into civilization
>Nagasaki was evicted from the island – where there is no running water – after someone found him looking 'weak' and disheveled, according to Alvaro Cerezo, a writer and filmmaker who spoke to news.com.au. As of now, the hermit has been shifted to a government house 60 km away in Ishigaki city after law enforcement authorities were reported of his condition.
>According to Cerezo, Nagasaki's island life is "over" and he isn't allowed to return despite his health being "okay" and that he "probably only had the flu" when he was found.
>>235165
same but longer sometims I go into the shed and try to hang myself and bitch out. What method will you use wizzie?
Greeting death seems hard when you think so much.
same but longer sometims I go into the shed and try to hang myself and bitch out. What method will you use wizzie?
Greeting death seems hard when you think so much.
>>235171
I'm thinking of a knife
Just open a vein and leak
Mostly because I don't really have access to anything else but also because I sort of like the symbolism of a blade
I'm thinking of a knife
Just open a vein and leak
Mostly because I don't really have access to anything else but also because I sort of like the symbolism of a blade
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>>235191
>knife
>vein
You will not die from opening up a vein you need to cut an artery I suggest the radial or cartoid and do not cut your wrist across all the tendons in case you fuck up and do not die it is far better to cut down your arm sparing the damage of the tendons in the wrist.
Why do you liek the idea of cutting yourself to death? I am similar I have a noose here besides me lol and sodium nitrite also but it feelsl ike cutting myself to death is a protest against life itself and peaceful means are more a submissive suicide method.
>knife
>vein
You will not die from opening up a vein you need to cut an artery I suggest the radial or cartoid and do not cut your wrist across all the tendons in case you fuck up and do not die it is far better to cut down your arm sparing the damage of the tendons in the wrist.
Why do you liek the idea of cutting yourself to death? I am similar I have a noose here besides me lol and sodium nitrite also but it feelsl ike cutting myself to death is a protest against life itself and peaceful means are more a submissive suicide method.
>>235171
Not him. Train has always been my first choice when thinking about suicide. Laying the neck on the railroads at a middle part of the track where the train goes full speed. Hiding till the end so train driver can't slow down. Seems like a save way to go. I don't need to buy anything and easy enough for me to pull off. I have a car so finding a spot is not an issue.
Not him. Train has always been my first choice when thinking about suicide. Laying the neck on the railroads at a middle part of the track where the train goes full speed. Hiding till the end so train driver can't slow down. Seems like a save way to go. I don't need to buy anything and easy enough for me to pull off. I have a car so finding a spot is not an issue.
>>235236
The amount is irrelevant but living off the mercy of his own sister.
Trump has infinitely more self sufficency than this crap.
The amount is irrelevant but living off the mercy of his own sister.
Trump has infinitely more self sufficency than this crap.
>>235241
Can you fuck off about trump how was it relevant to mention I swear to god you people who care so much about politics piss me off and make me more depressed.
Can you fuck off about trump how was it relevant to mention I swear to god you people who care so much about politics piss me off and make me more depressed.
>>235227
>Why do you liek the idea of cutting yourself to death?
There's something inherently visceral about it that just resonates
I don't really know how to explain it, it's like this primal thing
The only thing I can think of that appeals as much is hurling myself from a cliff but there aren't any where I live
>Why do you liek the idea of cutting yourself to death?
There's something inherently visceral about it that just resonates
I don't really know how to explain it, it's like this primal thing
The only thing I can think of that appeals as much is hurling myself from a cliff but there aren't any where I live
I don't think of suicide anymore these days. Instead I sometimes think about that I should murder someone. Not seriously of course. I can barely hurt a fly. It's just that everything pisses me off these days. On image boards and real life alike. Anything not going my way and anyone not agreeing with me is annoying to me. I know this is dumb and that I'm just equally wrong and stupid. I don't know this feeling from my past neither. I don't know what to make of it yet.
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I am so weak despite hundreds of hours trying to train myself. I am a born slave and degenerate.
>>235302
Really seems like it's out of our control. Whenever i try to be more ambitious in life i get punched in the face by reality soon after. I tried to do stuff lately so the first thing was to fix my sleep schedule but it's impossible. I need to be completely drained after hours of vidya or whatever if i want to sleep. Or some days i'il manage to fall asleep, some days i won't, even after exercising or being tired etc. It's just so fucking chaotic man. It's like my body is telling me to amount to absolutely nothing in life and to be content with a low effort, undisciplined and carefree bohemian lifestyle.
Really seems like it's out of our control. Whenever i try to be more ambitious in life i get punched in the face by reality soon after. I tried to do stuff lately so the first thing was to fix my sleep schedule but it's impossible. I need to be completely drained after hours of vidya or whatever if i want to sleep. Or some days i'il manage to fall asleep, some days i won't, even after exercising or being tired etc. It's just so fucking chaotic man. It's like my body is telling me to amount to absolutely nothing in life and to be content with a low effort, undisciplined and carefree bohemian lifestyle.
>>234474
I need to get my meds, so First I need to get a piece of paper for meds, no money on the card just cash, went to make deposit fat turd counting money wait for her gave her my card info she gets it wrong, give it to her again she got it, Ut didn't went thru check your card.
too much of a pussy to actually try again too much of a pussy to go rn because it's too late and what if my doctor is no longer there.
At most I only have 5 more pills that I have to distribute throughout 6 days till the next time I can go out.
Why am I like this?
I need to get my meds, so First I need to get a piece of paper for meds, no money on the card just cash, went to make deposit fat turd counting money wait for her gave her my card info she gets it wrong, give it to her again she got it, Ut didn't went thru check your card.
too much of a pussy to actually try again too much of a pussy to go rn because it's too late and what if my doctor is no longer there.
At most I only have 5 more pills that I have to distribute throughout 6 days till the next time I can go out.
Why am I like this?
Any of you have experience with therapy? I feel I reached the point where I consider giving it a try
>>235449
Therapy is only as good as your therapist, and you. You have to be open with them, and willing to listen as well as explain. For someone like me who has a hard time talking, they aren't very helpful.
Therapy is only as good as your therapist, and you. You have to be open with them, and willing to listen as well as explain. For someone like me who has a hard time talking, they aren't very helpful.
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>>235449
Going to therapy is a meme, but reading books on therapy and psychology in general might offer you some insight into your own mind. Actually seeing a therapist is a waste of time and money because it's often done by the most braindead NPC normalfags whose entire expertise doesn't go farther than having some useless or possibly harmful presuppositions about how the mind works and making a really sincere empathetic face when you tell them a sad story.
The only possible long-term benefit of going to therapy is that you might learn something insightful about your mind and how to deal with it, but you can do that much faster and more effectively by just reading the material that explores that kind of stuff, rather than hoping that Dr. Martha Goldberg teaches you something interesting this time instead of making a really sincere empathetic face for 45 minutes.
Here's a chart that offers a broad overview of the field. The flaws with each approach become quite obvious once you read broadly enough. Stuff like CBT is basically a reddit meme at this point, supposedly the cream of the crop, but is actually very shallow and in my opinion, essentially useless. The whole focus on your thoughts and naïve conceptions of "rationality" are peak bullshit. It takes very little effort to disprove the notion that "thoughts" cause or contribute to your emotions. Thinking happy thoughts explicitly doesn't work and even if you can silence your internal voice, the negative feelings remain. The common excuse for this is that it takes "time and practice" as if repeating a thought or rationalization many times causes you to "believe" it. Other types of therapies do the same thing, basically using time and practice as an excuse for their theory's lack of elegance or even validity.
Anyway, even if you decide on seeing a therapist, getting educated about your therapist's specific approach might help you get the most out of it, or possibly see through the bullshit quicker and save a couple thousand bucks.
Going to therapy is a meme, but reading books on therapy and psychology in general might offer you some insight into your own mind. Actually seeing a therapist is a waste of time and money because it's often done by the most braindead NPC normalfags whose entire expertise doesn't go farther than having some useless or possibly harmful presuppositions about how the mind works and making a really sincere empathetic face when you tell them a sad story.
The only possible long-term benefit of going to therapy is that you might learn something insightful about your mind and how to deal with it, but you can do that much faster and more effectively by just reading the material that explores that kind of stuff, rather than hoping that Dr. Martha Goldberg teaches you something interesting this time instead of making a really sincere empathetic face for 45 minutes.
Here's a chart that offers a broad overview of the field. The flaws with each approach become quite obvious once you read broadly enough. Stuff like CBT is basically a reddit meme at this point, supposedly the cream of the crop, but is actually very shallow and in my opinion, essentially useless. The whole focus on your thoughts and naïve conceptions of "rationality" are peak bullshit. It takes very little effort to disprove the notion that "thoughts" cause or contribute to your emotions. Thinking happy thoughts explicitly doesn't work and even if you can silence your internal voice, the negative feelings remain. The common excuse for this is that it takes "time and practice" as if repeating a thought or rationalization many times causes you to "believe" it. Other types of therapies do the same thing, basically using time and practice as an excuse for their theory's lack of elegance or even validity.
Anyway, even if you decide on seeing a therapist, getting educated about your therapist's specific approach might help you get the most out of it, or possibly see through the bullshit quicker and save a couple thousand bucks.
Anyone have anxiety where there is a burning and constricting sensation in your heart and then your hands go numb?
>>235455
quality post and agree except a therapist can help train you to implement the skills you need and also be an unbiased perspective on your disordered thought process but usually they are actually shit braindead NPC like you have said.
They will tell you normie BS that does not apply to yourself like get a GF despite that not solving serious mental health issues ol.
What book do you suggest I start with I have read before about the subject it is a hobby but I want to know form yourself.
quality post and agree except a therapist can help train you to implement the skills you need and also be an unbiased perspective on your disordered thought process but usually they are actually shit braindead NPC like you have said.
They will tell you normie BS that does not apply to yourself like get a GF despite that not solving serious mental health issues ol.
What book do you suggest I start with I have read before about the subject it is a hobby but I want to know form yourself.
>>235477
I think the first "serious" book I read was "Cognitive Therapy and The Emotional Disorders" by Aaron Beck, one of the guys that invented CBT. It's very accessible and probably a decent introduction to what therapy is trying to deal with, so-called "emotional disorders".
After reading it, I bought into the whole approach because it did appear like "common sense" and certainly made more sense than stuff like psychoanalysis. Later I realized how useless and even dangerous is it to believe that you can simply use naïve "rationality" to deal with unwanted mental phenomena. That became even more obvious when applied to more serious psychological problems like personality disorders (the book next to this one on the chart is Beck's approach to PDs).
This will be a common problem for you too: after reading a book on a particular approach, you will initially get a feeling that it makes perfect sense and that this is really how the mind works, but you will eventually get disillusioned, as the "cases" covered are often cherry picked and described through the perspective of the therapist and your personal experience with certain techniques will be nowhere close to the "miracle cures" described. If there is dialog, they will usually put "explanations" of what happens moment-to-moment, like "John realizes X, Y and Z" as if they can actually read his mind.
Anyway, the point is, think critically and widely. Don't get sucked into a particular approach because it's almost certain that they don't have all the answers, just a very small piece of the puzzle.
If you want something "practical", usually you can search for "<name of therapy> workbook" for books with exercises and layman explanations. Therapies also usually have one or more "self-help" style books that are meant for the general public. You can find any book pretty easily on Library Genesis (libgen.is)
I think the first "serious" book I read was "Cognitive Therapy and The Emotional Disorders" by Aaron Beck, one of the guys that invented CBT. It's very accessible and probably a decent introduction to what therapy is trying to deal with, so-called "emotional disorders".
After reading it, I bought into the whole approach because it did appear like "common sense" and certainly made more sense than stuff like psychoanalysis. Later I realized how useless and even dangerous is it to believe that you can simply use naïve "rationality" to deal with unwanted mental phenomena. That became even more obvious when applied to more serious psychological problems like personality disorders (the book next to this one on the chart is Beck's approach to PDs).
This will be a common problem for you too: after reading a book on a particular approach, you will initially get a feeling that it makes perfect sense and that this is really how the mind works, but you will eventually get disillusioned, as the "cases" covered are often cherry picked and described through the perspective of the therapist and your personal experience with certain techniques will be nowhere close to the "miracle cures" described. If there is dialog, they will usually put "explanations" of what happens moment-to-moment, like "John realizes X, Y and Z" as if they can actually read his mind.
Anyway, the point is, think critically and widely. Don't get sucked into a particular approach because it's almost certain that they don't have all the answers, just a very small piece of the puzzle.
If you want something "practical", usually you can search for "<name of therapy> workbook" for books with exercises and layman explanations. Therapies also usually have one or more "self-help" style books that are meant for the general public. You can find any book pretty easily on Library Genesis (libgen.is)
When you're anxious and have your thoughts running everywhere imagining the worst. Do you have some trick to focus and calm them down?
>>235479
Would you say there's a difference between a psychological approach to solve your issues and an ontological approach? I feel like the attempt to focus on your psyche will eventually fail because there's a bodily element to it, the brain and organs and stuff, that we can't control. In this way it's impossible to trick yourself in a state where you have full control over your emotions, behavior and thoughts. The ontological path on the other hand feels much more honest and closer to the truth. Basically one realization of it would be religious belief which you have independent of your psychological and bodily state for example. But it does not have to be religious. A refined epistemological view like pyrrhonism aka radical scepticism is what helps me a lot. I'm neither a pessimist nor an optimist but I prefer to just let things happen and don't make a judgment about it as judgements often are misleading and self restrictive. I Stil believe in some universal truths and also I don't doubt my sensible perceptions. However the interpretation of perceptions and feelings is never necessary. In this way I deny concepts like mental illness and depression. Those are already hard judgements of lose observations with a tendency to create a negative self image. I would never let others i1mpose that view on myself. Psychology makes such hurtful and dubious judgements all the time and sells them as truths.
Would you say there's a difference between a psychological approach to solve your issues and an ontological approach? I feel like the attempt to focus on your psyche will eventually fail because there's a bodily element to it, the brain and organs and stuff, that we can't control. In this way it's impossible to trick yourself in a state where you have full control over your emotions, behavior and thoughts. The ontological path on the other hand feels much more honest and closer to the truth. Basically one realization of it would be religious belief which you have independent of your psychological and bodily state for example. But it does not have to be religious. A refined epistemological view like pyrrhonism aka radical scepticism is what helps me a lot. I'm neither a pessimist nor an optimist but I prefer to just let things happen and don't make a judgment about it as judgements often are misleading and self restrictive. I Stil believe in some universal truths and also I don't doubt my sensible perceptions. However the interpretation of perceptions and feelings is never necessary. In this way I deny concepts like mental illness and depression. Those are already hard judgements of lose observations with a tendency to create a negative self image. I would never let others i1mpose that view on myself. Psychology makes such hurtful and dubious judgements all the time and sells them as truths.
>>235482
>I feel like the attempt to focus on your psyche will eventually fail because there's a bodily element to it, the brain and organs and stuff, that we can't control.
Certainly, we are limited by our biological machinery, but our brains are not simple machines, but rather very complex dynamical systems that have evolved to respond to the environment and be shaped by it. Unfortunately, the same mechanism that allows you to learn, for instance, to recognize and avoid predators, can also manifest itself as learning that creates unwanted mental phenomena, like PTSD flashbacks, phobias, anxiety disorders and so on.
The unwanted mental phenomena that people characterize as mental illness is certainly unpleasant and contributes to their suffering and ability to function and get their needs met, but isn't the product of a dysfunctional brain unless its directly caused by brain damage. It's the result of being shaped by a specific environment, certain experiences, the result of maladaptive learning. The same way a computer can operate correctly yet give the wrong result - the level at which the error exists isn't hardware but software.
>In this way it's impossible to trick yourself in a state where you have full control over your emotions, behavior and thoughts
Perhaps, but if one can properly understand the mechanisms that underlie psychological change, one can minimize the suffering created by unwanted mental phenomena. Not only that, one could also, in many ways, optimize one's psyche so that it's most adaptive to a certain environment. Most, if not all psychological suffering, comes from a person's inability to adapt to a certain environment.
For instance, imagine a student who is a chronic procrastinator. He is an example of someone that isn't adapted to his environment, as he finds studying, paying attention, and all the duties of a student not only uncompelling but actively painful. Traditional therapy and common wisdom would advise to just suck it up, ignore the discomfort, problematic thoughts and feelings, and even the lowered effectiveness in these activities. Another possibility is for him to give up on studying and settle for an environment that doesn't produce as much discomfort. A socially anxious person eventually gives up and becomes a shut-in.
The problem with the current state of therapy is that it has no effective tools for psychological change. From my reading of various approaches, they all have intricate theories about the mind and how people come to be disordered, but in practice when it comes to actually changing the person, it all eventually boils down to a suppression and ignorance strategy which aims to minimize awareness of unwanted mental phenomena or as you say, "acceptance", getting used to it and learning to live with it.
Perhaps no tools exist and we are doomed? People are certainly capable of change, often in very radical ways, yet the cause is never obvious or easily turned into something practical. The brain itself is not only capable of learning, but also unlearning, as research on memory reconsolidation has shown.
So, there is definitely biological machinery in place that can rewire the brain, if only the right conditions are in place. Developing tools for psychological change is less about drugs and lobotomies and more about observing and studying these mechanisms, rules and conditions that allow for learning and unlearning to operate.
Long story short: Our biology is natural limit, but the brain is a complex organ that provides the biological machinery for its own change, we just don't understand it yet enough to be able to make actually effective therapy. Aiming to develop proper tools for psychological change is a worthwhile goal, in my opinion.
>I feel like the attempt to focus on your psyche will eventually fail because there's a bodily element to it, the brain and organs and stuff, that we can't control.
Certainly, we are limited by our biological machinery, but our brains are not simple machines, but rather very complex dynamical systems that have evolved to respond to the environment and be shaped by it. Unfortunately, the same mechanism that allows you to learn, for instance, to recognize and avoid predators, can also manifest itself as learning that creates unwanted mental phenomena, like PTSD flashbacks, phobias, anxiety disorders and so on.
The unwanted mental phenomena that people characterize as mental illness is certainly unpleasant and contributes to their suffering and ability to function and get their needs met, but isn't the product of a dysfunctional brain unless its directly caused by brain damage. It's the result of being shaped by a specific environment, certain experiences, the result of maladaptive learning. The same way a computer can operate correctly yet give the wrong result - the level at which the error exists isn't hardware but software.
>In this way it's impossible to trick yourself in a state where you have full control over your emotions, behavior and thoughts
Perhaps, but if one can properly understand the mechanisms that underlie psychological change, one can minimize the suffering created by unwanted mental phenomena. Not only that, one could also, in many ways, optimize one's psyche so that it's most adaptive to a certain environment. Most, if not all psychological suffering, comes from a person's inability to adapt to a certain environment.
For instance, imagine a student who is a chronic procrastinator. He is an example of someone that isn't adapted to his environment, as he finds studying, paying attention, and all the duties of a student not only uncompelling but actively painful. Traditional therapy and common wisdom would advise to just suck it up, ignore the discomfort, problematic thoughts and feelings, and even the lowered effectiveness in these activities. Another possibility is for him to give up on studying and settle for an environment that doesn't produce as much discomfort. A socially anxious person eventually gives up and becomes a shut-in.
The problem with the current state of therapy is that it has no effective tools for psychological change. From my reading of various approaches, they all have intricate theories about the mind and how people come to be disordered, but in practice when it comes to actually changing the person, it all eventually boils down to a suppression and ignorance strategy which aims to minimize awareness of unwanted mental phenomena or as you say, "acceptance", getting used to it and learning to live with it.
Perhaps no tools exist and we are doomed? People are certainly capable of change, often in very radical ways, yet the cause is never obvious or easily turned into something practical. The brain itself is not only capable of learning, but also unlearning, as research on memory reconsolidation has shown.
So, there is definitely biological machinery in place that can rewire the brain, if only the right conditions are in place. Developing tools for psychological change is less about drugs and lobotomies and more about observing and studying these mechanisms, rules and conditions that allow for learning and unlearning to operate.
Long story short: Our biology is natural limit, but the brain is a complex organ that provides the biological machinery for its own change, we just don't understand it yet enough to be able to make actually effective therapy. Aiming to develop proper tools for psychological change is a worthwhile goal, in my opinion.
File: 1612032170734.png (1.02 MB, 691x618, 691:618, hhh443f.PNG) ImgOps iqdb
Whenever I wake up, it's always in a panic, confusion, and despair, then I pace around my room until I get the courage to go back to bed.
There is no escape anymore. It's all gone.
There is no escape anymore. It's all gone.
>>235484
From personal experience, which practical method comes closest to make a (desirable) psychological change? I feel like I had some of those turning points of change in the past which I could not pinpoint to any concrete action or happening though. It just seems to happen over time. Also I think becoming a shut in helped me to get myself to know better as it also took away lots of stress and anxiety which in return made me accept myself better. I am more happy as a shut in than before.
From personal experience, which practical method comes closest to make a (desirable) psychological change? I feel like I had some of those turning points of change in the past which I could not pinpoint to any concrete action or happening though. It just seems to happen over time. Also I think becoming a shut in helped me to get myself to know better as it also took away lots of stress and anxiety which in return made me accept myself better. I am more happy as a shut in than before.
>>235487
From personal experience, one things that's been helpful is self-observation. A particular phenomenon I have noticed in myself is that certain images or perceptions trigger a kind of automatic emotional response. The main effect of this response is that it makes certain kind of behavior compelling or uncompelling due to the intensity of emotion. At that point, I realize I can decide to go against this compulsion, but it requires willpower and going against your mind creates friction that is uncomfortable, so you lose no matter how you react.
I've thought a lot about what this "mechanism" is, and it seems to be explained by memory. More broadly, perceptual cues often trigger recall of relevant memories. This is obviously adaptive and seems to be the main way people get good at doing things automatically. However, perceptual cues can also trigger emotional memories, which might be a flashback of a situation or just a feeling. If you are, for instance, socially anxious, then certain cues that happen around groups of people will trigger memories associated with anxiety (not necessarily flashbacks) and you will feel compelled to escape those cues (like people watching you), mainly by avoiding social interaction.
I've learned to notice these automatic emotional recalls and notice when they are influencing me, compelling me in a certain direction. At that point however, there isn't much you can do, even if you go against yourself and try to ignore negative emotions, they still don't go away and your endurance for ignoring them eventually gets exhausted. A perceptual cue will always trigger a specific emotional memory, unless you could somehow change that. This is my main theory about how psychological change works. Namely, there's a neurological process called memory reconsolidation which can update or erase even long-term memories if the right conditions are met.
More practically, what I've been doing is first noticing when emotional recall is triggered by a particular perceptual cue, then trying to condition that cue to be associated with a different response. How can that be done? Well, since a particular cue is a trigger for an automatic /recall/ of a memory, you can change that particular memory trace by /recalling/ a different memory every time. Eventually, it updates and you no longer get the original trigger-response. This might happen naturally when learning, but it's quite a subtle thing to notice.
However, trying to (ab)use this process isn't quite simple and it's also possible to just build a chained memory trace (cue - memory 1 (cue) - memory 2). Instead of changing the memory trace associated with a cue, you're attaching the new memory to the emotional response because it becomes the new cue. So, if you were trying to change some negative pang of emotion that comes up with a certain image, you will simply remember both the pang and the new memory, which is pretty useless.
This is the gist of the technique:
cue triggers memory recall -> while you have the cue in your mind, /recall/ a different memory
-> repeating the process two or three times
I think there are several important factors which determine whether this works for me or not:
>identifying the correct cue which triggers the recall of the unwanted memory (sometimes it's not obvious)
>the memory you recall to disrupt the memory trace should be as emotionally intense or more and also contradictory to the original one (a negative memory involving sadness should be contradicted by intense joy etc)
>recalling isn't simply imaging something, but actually requires you to reach in and remember an actual experience (sometimes it can be hard, or you might not have such a memory)
That's a technique I've been experimenting with and seems promising to me, but requires a bit of mental focus and a bit of mental juggling. Sometimes I feel like the original trigger-response is gone, but other times it doesn't do much other than distract me from the initial negative emotion. Fortunately, it's rather easy to "test" if it works, since if you succeed in updating a particular memory trace, the cue will no longer trigger the negative memory. As far as I can tell, it's not about how many times you /recall/ - it should be instantaneous change, rather than gradual (which really just means you're getting used to the unwanted negative emotion, rather than changing it).
I'm aware this might sound like psychobabble. If you're interested in "memory reconsolidation" and how it can be used in therapy, check out "Unlocking the emotional brain" by Bruce Ecker (its in the chart). His particular methodology is much more rich and complex, but I think there's radical ways the approach can be simplified (not necessarily with my own method).
From personal experience, one things that's been helpful is self-observation. A particular phenomenon I have noticed in myself is that certain images or perceptions trigger a kind of automatic emotional response. The main effect of this response is that it makes certain kind of behavior compelling or uncompelling due to the intensity of emotion. At that point, I realize I can decide to go against this compulsion, but it requires willpower and going against your mind creates friction that is uncomfortable, so you lose no matter how you react.
I've thought a lot about what this "mechanism" is, and it seems to be explained by memory. More broadly, perceptual cues often trigger recall of relevant memories. This is obviously adaptive and seems to be the main way people get good at doing things automatically. However, perceptual cues can also trigger emotional memories, which might be a flashback of a situation or just a feeling. If you are, for instance, socially anxious, then certain cues that happen around groups of people will trigger memories associated with anxiety (not necessarily flashbacks) and you will feel compelled to escape those cues (like people watching you), mainly by avoiding social interaction.
I've learned to notice these automatic emotional recalls and notice when they are influencing me, compelling me in a certain direction. At that point however, there isn't much you can do, even if you go against yourself and try to ignore negative emotions, they still don't go away and your endurance for ignoring them eventually gets exhausted. A perceptual cue will always trigger a specific emotional memory, unless you could somehow change that. This is my main theory about how psychological change works. Namely, there's a neurological process called memory reconsolidation which can update or erase even long-term memories if the right conditions are met.
More practically, what I've been doing is first noticing when emotional recall is triggered by a particular perceptual cue, then trying to condition that cue to be associated with a different response. How can that be done? Well, since a particular cue is a trigger for an automatic /recall/ of a memory, you can change that particular memory trace by /recalling/ a different memory every time. Eventually, it updates and you no longer get the original trigger-response. This might happen naturally when learning, but it's quite a subtle thing to notice.
However, trying to (ab)use this process isn't quite simple and it's also possible to just build a chained memory trace (cue - memory 1 (cue) - memory 2). Instead of changing the memory trace associated with a cue, you're attaching the new memory to the emotional response because it becomes the new cue. So, if you were trying to change some negative pang of emotion that comes up with a certain image, you will simply remember both the pang and the new memory, which is pretty useless.
This is the gist of the technique:
cue triggers memory recall -> while you have the cue in your mind, /recall/ a different memory
-> repeating the process two or three times
I think there are several important factors which determine whether this works for me or not:
>identifying the correct cue which triggers the recall of the unwanted memory (sometimes it's not obvious)
>the memory you recall to disrupt the memory trace should be as emotionally intense or more and also contradictory to the original one (a negative memory involving sadness should be contradicted by intense joy etc)
>recalling isn't simply imaging something, but actually requires you to reach in and remember an actual experience (sometimes it can be hard, or you might not have such a memory)
That's a technique I've been experimenting with and seems promising to me, but requires a bit of mental focus and a bit of mental juggling. Sometimes I feel like the original trigger-response is gone, but other times it doesn't do much other than distract me from the initial negative emotion. Fortunately, it's rather easy to "test" if it works, since if you succeed in updating a particular memory trace, the cue will no longer trigger the negative memory. As far as I can tell, it's not about how many times you /recall/ - it should be instantaneous change, rather than gradual (which really just means you're getting used to the unwanted negative emotion, rather than changing it).
I'm aware this might sound like psychobabble. If you're interested in "memory reconsolidation" and how it can be used in therapy, check out "Unlocking the emotional brain" by Bruce Ecker (its in the chart). His particular methodology is much more rich and complex, but I think there's radical ways the approach can be simplified (not necessarily with my own method).
>>235127
I asked my mum why she let me spend 12-16 hours every day off school in front of the playstation and Xbox and how I regret losing my entire childhood to an addiction I had no control over, and she doubled down with "you would've been miserable without the playstation, you would've had nothing to do and been sad all day". I remember crying to my sister as a kid about how I wish it wasn't there, and how I wanted to smash it (she told me I couldn't because that wouldn't be fair on everyone else). As a child I was shamed for being on it all the time but nothing was ever done about it.
The idea that kids are supposed to resist addiction all on their own is a weird one, even grown adults often struggle to shake a video game addiction, children stand no chance.
I asked my mum why she let me spend 12-16 hours every day off school in front of the playstation and Xbox and how I regret losing my entire childhood to an addiction I had no control over, and she doubled down with "you would've been miserable without the playstation, you would've had nothing to do and been sad all day". I remember crying to my sister as a kid about how I wish it wasn't there, and how I wanted to smash it (she told me I couldn't because that wouldn't be fair on everyone else). As a child I was shamed for being on it all the time but nothing was ever done about it.
The idea that kids are supposed to resist addiction all on their own is a weird one, even grown adults often struggle to shake a video game addiction, children stand no chance.
People need to learn not to give a fuck about anything, it took me decades to figure it out, but I'm so glad i did.
>>235495
Interesting post anon. I like the precision that you put into your thoughts. I don't know whether I could make this work myself. I feel like my anxiety is often very diffuse when it manifests. It's a vague but intense feeling of discomfort in my head that prevents me from thinking logically. It's not really connected to concrete memories I can actively recall. Or maybe it is and I just don't allow these memories. I think my strategy has always been to get used to this and live with it. You don't need a therapist to do that. This fatalism makes it hard to recognize that it could also be different. I also am very sceptical of psychology. However your writings sound oddly constructive and also not arrogant which I feel many psychology scholars are.
Interesting post anon. I like the precision that you put into your thoughts. I don't know whether I could make this work myself. I feel like my anxiety is often very diffuse when it manifests. It's a vague but intense feeling of discomfort in my head that prevents me from thinking logically. It's not really connected to concrete memories I can actively recall. Or maybe it is and I just don't allow these memories. I think my strategy has always been to get used to this and live with it. You don't need a therapist to do that. This fatalism makes it hard to recognize that it could also be different. I also am very sceptical of psychology. However your writings sound oddly constructive and also not arrogant which I feel many psychology scholars are.
My cat is dying. Probably kidney failure. I don't know when or if I will ever have another cat because my parents aren't getting another one. Grandma's also dying, sister's moving back in, and my family might end up moving to a really dangerous town that has long, hellish summers so that we can afford to eat. I can't seem to find a good direction for my life either. My thirties will either be a period of change and transformation or a spiral into deepening mental illness and despair.
>>235484
Great post I am that other anon earlier you replied to and I have to say I came to similar conclusions.
Acceptence is important and so many people cause their own suffering by clinging to attachments and also internalizing other peoples judgements like in the case of being a virgin being a bad thing.
Change can be complex or simple and it is not always successful by simply tying to apply a value you do not embody through force.
I look at it as if our mind is a sum of many little parts and we can only reach some changes by altering enough of the little parts so the big part can adjust similar to a lock and it's pins.
Books we have about therapy etc can all help but it seems that big changes are and what causes them are not entirely known or what can be applied to everyone.
WHat do you think about psychedelics I personally have found they have helped me and it has been some years since taking a true psychedelic but soon I will take some LSD and hope to shine some light on my issues although I am aware it could leave me worse off a I am severely mentally ill at least according to doctors etc (not schizophrenic though).
>>235499
Mom enabled you to vidya all day instead of do school?
I understand that is unfortunate but what can your mom do now?? what do you hope to gain by telling her?
My parants let e smoke and also smoke weed when I was very very young and also were abusive I have had some awful out of the norm childhood according to psychologists and stuff and I do not complain about it as it could be worse and my psych thinks I am unaware of my trauma and deny it now.
Weird
Great post I am that other anon earlier you replied to and I have to say I came to similar conclusions.
Acceptence is important and so many people cause their own suffering by clinging to attachments and also internalizing other peoples judgements like in the case of being a virgin being a bad thing.
Change can be complex or simple and it is not always successful by simply tying to apply a value you do not embody through force.
I look at it as if our mind is a sum of many little parts and we can only reach some changes by altering enough of the little parts so the big part can adjust similar to a lock and it's pins.
Books we have about therapy etc can all help but it seems that big changes are and what causes them are not entirely known or what can be applied to everyone.
WHat do you think about psychedelics I personally have found they have helped me and it has been some years since taking a true psychedelic but soon I will take some LSD and hope to shine some light on my issues although I am aware it could leave me worse off a I am severely mentally ill at least according to doctors etc (not schizophrenic though).
>>235499
Mom enabled you to vidya all day instead of do school?
I understand that is unfortunate but what can your mom do now?? what do you hope to gain by telling her?
My parants let e smoke and also smoke weed when I was very very young and also were abusive I have had some awful out of the norm childhood according to psychologists and stuff and I do not complain about it as it could be worse and my psych thinks I am unaware of my trauma and deny it now.
Weird
>>235515
>internalizing other peoples judgements like in the case of being a virgin being a bad thing
I can't remember ever being negatively judged for being a virgin. I think this is kind of accepted nowadays at least where I live in central eu. It's only when a bunch of factors come together like having a bad education, NEETdom, weird behavior that people are badly judged. Excluding peer shaming of teenagers but teenagers are hormon driven monster with no self awareness anyway. Most elder people I personally know are much more relaxed about it than the image board pushed view of the assumed typical normie is. People are way too much busy with their own stuff than to actually care about you being virgin. And how'd they ever know when you don't tell them? Again, normally it's a combination of things that cause bad judgements by others. I personally judge other people in bad way quite often so it would only be fair when they do the same with me. It's equalish in a way. Imho the only way to not become insane and instantly mentally ill is to unconditionally love yourself meaning that you come to terms with who and what you are regardless of how many lacks and deficits you notice. It's important to notice these deficits and to work on them if possible but there has to be this core self acceptance which is what I call a healthy and natural, animalistic narcissism (affirmed egoism) to prevent psychosis and become more resilient to most mental illnesses.
> I have had some awful out of the norm childhood according to psychologists and stuff and I do not complain about it as it could be worse
I found that it's useless to complain as it's more of an universal flaw that bad parents and broken families exist than a personal fault of our parents. What's the point in arguing with parents about a bad childhood? It can't be changed and now as adults you should care what can be done now. The only acceptable way to react when you really can't stand your parents imho is to move out and stop contact to them.
>internalizing other peoples judgements like in the case of being a virgin being a bad thing
I can't remember ever being negatively judged for being a virgin. I think this is kind of accepted nowadays at least where I live in central eu. It's only when a bunch of factors come together like having a bad education, NEETdom, weird behavior that people are badly judged. Excluding peer shaming of teenagers but teenagers are hormon driven monster with no self awareness anyway. Most elder people I personally know are much more relaxed about it than the image board pushed view of the assumed typical normie is. People are way too much busy with their own stuff than to actually care about you being virgin. And how'd they ever know when you don't tell them? Again, normally it's a combination of things that cause bad judgements by others. I personally judge other people in bad way quite often so it would only be fair when they do the same with me. It's equalish in a way. Imho the only way to not become insane and instantly mentally ill is to unconditionally love yourself meaning that you come to terms with who and what you are regardless of how many lacks and deficits you notice. It's important to notice these deficits and to work on them if possible but there has to be this core self acceptance which is what I call a healthy and natural, animalistic narcissism (affirmed egoism) to prevent psychosis and become more resilient to most mental illnesses.
> I have had some awful out of the norm childhood according to psychologists and stuff and I do not complain about it as it could be worse
I found that it's useless to complain as it's more of an universal flaw that bad parents and broken families exist than a personal fault of our parents. What's the point in arguing with parents about a bad childhood? It can't be changed and now as adults you should care what can be done now. The only acceptable way to react when you really can't stand your parents imho is to move out and stop contact to them.
>>235506
>I feel like my anxiety is often very diffuse when it manifests.
>It's not really connected to concrete memories I can actively recall.
It's rarely connected to an episodic memory of a situation. For me, it's just a feeling that gets activated when I perceive something. It might seem like the anxiety came out of nowhere, but there's always the initial image/perception that triggers it if you pay enough attention and then the emotion lingers until it dissipates. For example, maybe I'm cleaning out my desk and the stack of papers make me think of being at work and that image of being at work triggers a recall of some negative emotion that's not even about being at work. Or I might be watching TV and a particular scene might make me emotional for no reason.
When that happens, it might not seem like a memory because you didn't get a flashback of a particular situation, but you're only recalling an emotion. I think this is why emotional disorders are so uncontrollable, you don't know when you'll get triggered and how much you suffer depends on how often you encounter the cue. Someone that's socially anxious, eventually figures out that avoiding social situations and all the cues related to that is an really effective way of controlling their anxiety. For me, just imagining a social situation is enough to trigger some anxiety. It's not even really about being around people, it's the image/perception of being around people that activates it (which is why online discussion feels completely neutral, there's an absence of triggering cues).
I've spent a lot of time just observing when it happens that I feel like I know in which order things happen at least. Something like CBT might only focus on thoughts and claim that saying to yourself "I'm worthless" is what triggers the shame, but in reality, it seems more like perceiving a cue makes you recall a memory of shame, and then, you might say to yourself "I'm worthless" because it feels like the right thing to say in the moment. In that way, just arguing with the sentence and bringing up all your accomplishments and how worthwhile of a person you are doesn't matter, even if you believe it, it doesn't change the cue-trigger-response.
>I feel like my anxiety is often very diffuse when it manifests.
>It's not really connected to concrete memories I can actively recall.
It's rarely connected to an episodic memory of a situation. For me, it's just a feeling that gets activated when I perceive something. It might seem like the anxiety came out of nowhere, but there's always the initial image/perception that triggers it if you pay enough attention and then the emotion lingers until it dissipates. For example, maybe I'm cleaning out my desk and the stack of papers make me think of being at work and that image of being at work triggers a recall of some negative emotion that's not even about being at work. Or I might be watching TV and a particular scene might make me emotional for no reason.
When that happens, it might not seem like a memory because you didn't get a flashback of a particular situation, but you're only recalling an emotion. I think this is why emotional disorders are so uncontrollable, you don't know when you'll get triggered and how much you suffer depends on how often you encounter the cue. Someone that's socially anxious, eventually figures out that avoiding social situations and all the cues related to that is an really effective way of controlling their anxiety. For me, just imagining a social situation is enough to trigger some anxiety. It's not even really about being around people, it's the image/perception of being around people that activates it (which is why online discussion feels completely neutral, there's an absence of triggering cues).
I've spent a lot of time just observing when it happens that I feel like I know in which order things happen at least. Something like CBT might only focus on thoughts and claim that saying to yourself "I'm worthless" is what triggers the shame, but in reality, it seems more like perceiving a cue makes you recall a memory of shame, and then, you might say to yourself "I'm worthless" because it feels like the right thing to say in the moment. In that way, just arguing with the sentence and bringing up all your accomplishments and how worthwhile of a person you are doesn't matter, even if you believe it, it doesn't change the cue-trigger-response.
>>235516
>What's the point in arguing with parents about a bad childhood? It can't be changed and now as adults you should care what can be done now.
This. I used to hate my papa and when I was 16 I kinda just realized that it was stupid to be angry because it only causes me harm so became apathetic and now I am more understanding and I know people make mistakes and have their own reasons.
I am reminded by someone online that posted about how they suddenly remembered some baby sitter locked him in the basement once and he started blaming all his anxiety on this event and wanted to go talk to a psych about it and I warned him how he is best to just get over it and work on overcoming his feelings because continually reopening a wound is retarded and memory is hardly reliable plus it is hardly a very bad event despite being aware of how trauma affects us with development theory anyway..
I think people ought to stop giving a fuck what others think and wizards mostly do this but many people think less of themselves for not being normal and that is just self punishment and this comes from someone who self harms lol.
I do not identify with what my psychologist and psychiatrists have said about me being severely mentally ill but who knows I am meant to be getting a baby sitter and cleaner as I can hardly function but maybe I am in denial.
>What's the point in arguing with parents about a bad childhood? It can't be changed and now as adults you should care what can be done now.
This. I used to hate my papa and when I was 16 I kinda just realized that it was stupid to be angry because it only causes me harm so became apathetic and now I am more understanding and I know people make mistakes and have their own reasons.
I am reminded by someone online that posted about how they suddenly remembered some baby sitter locked him in the basement once and he started blaming all his anxiety on this event and wanted to go talk to a psych about it and I warned him how he is best to just get over it and work on overcoming his feelings because continually reopening a wound is retarded and memory is hardly reliable plus it is hardly a very bad event despite being aware of how trauma affects us with development theory anyway..
I think people ought to stop giving a fuck what others think and wizards mostly do this but many people think less of themselves for not being normal and that is just self punishment and this comes from someone who self harms lol.
I do not identify with what my psychologist and psychiatrists have said about me being severely mentally ill but who knows I am meant to be getting a baby sitter and cleaner as I can hardly function but maybe I am in denial.
Why is it so hard to do things?
I need to do them, I know why, I know not doing them will bite me in the ass later yet all I feel is a mix of shame and imminent disaster but also unreasonably hot like if I had a fever at the mere idea of doing what I need to do.
Can be anything, calling my insurance, going to the doctor, etc? Even happens when I think about buying something sometimes, you'd think since i'm the one paying I'd be in a better position but either I think the vendor will mock, what I buy will break down or I'm wasting the money
I need to do them, I know why, I know not doing them will bite me in the ass later yet all I feel is a mix of shame and imminent disaster but also unreasonably hot like if I had a fever at the mere idea of doing what I need to do.
Can be anything, calling my insurance, going to the doctor, etc? Even happens when I think about buying something sometimes, you'd think since i'm the one paying I'd be in a better position but either I think the vendor will mock, what I buy will break down or I'm wasting the money
>>235529
I avoid doing things up to a point where the avoidance of doing it causes more discomfort than doing it. Cleaning is a good example. Earning money another one. Also the doctor. When there's actual physical pain and it really gets bad then I'll just go. Until then I just live with it.
I avoid doing things up to a point where the avoidance of doing it causes more discomfort than doing it. Cleaning is a good example. Earning money another one. Also the doctor. When there's actual physical pain and it really gets bad then I'll just go. Until then I just live with it.
I’ve been in a weird anhedonic mood the last few days. I don’t really feel extremely low energy or sad and I can still force myself to complete tasks, but I don’t really have any interest in anything. Everything just seems pointless and uninteresting. When I look at things people are doing online or in the news it all seems like a waste of time. I can’t even jerk off, if I look at porn/hentai I don’t get aroused at all. I just wish I had some drugs to annihilate my consciousness or something to do to give me an adrenaline rush. It feels like part of my mind that processes things and applies emotional responses has been turned off and everything has just become a slideshow of boring images passing in front of me with zero emotional reaction.
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Hey. I'm going to be a low functioning loser forever aren't I?
I felt so bad today, well the past few days, I hardly ate anything, then mom made dinner and I couldnt finish it, I feel so horrible and all my parents can do when I tell them is lecture me about how it's because I dont exercise enough, I tell them it's more than sad, something isn't right, something is really wrong, I'm poisoned, it finally all hit me and I went to sob in my room for a bit, god I feel awful, why isnt euthanasia legal, 25 years and I'm falling apart, and the worst part about this brain disease is I'll feel perfectly fine in a day or two, fuck mood swings
>>235547
Yeah but most people are anyways, I always remind myself I really got it better than third world fucks who live in squalor. If I can play vidya, eat food and sleep, I'm pretty much a king.
Yeah but most people are anyways, I always remind myself I really got it better than third world fucks who live in squalor. If I can play vidya, eat food and sleep, I'm pretty much a king.
I think I would live a much better life if I knew I always I had the option to ask for assisted suicide. When there's a way out I would do more risky things and be less anxious about everything. It's like an escape button when you don't want to play the game anymore. Right now it lacks this option from the devs. You gave to brute force hack the game to exit it and I'm too much of a train wreck to get it done.
Just talked to the doctor about depression for the first time and all he told me were platitude and assumed it was because of the lockdown
>>235557
Comfy room, good PC, internet, food, music, audiobooks, easy job this is all I need.
Comfy room, good PC, internet, food, music, audiobooks, easy job this is all I need.
>>235547
>>235557
>>235567
>>235568
>comfy room
>video games
>weed (no booze for me anymore, weeds a good substitute)
>music
>"real"/"normal"/"not-audiobooks" book>the ability to go for a walk daily
>internet
>junk food
>easy job, as i don't qualify for neetbux
All i need. I have no desires for anything more, nor do i want more
>>235557
>>235567
>>235568
>comfy room
>video games
>weed (no booze for me anymore, weeds a good substitute)
>music
>"real"/"normal"/"not-audiobooks" book>the ability to go for a walk daily
>internet
>junk food
>easy job, as i don't qualify for neetbux
All i need. I have no desires for anything more, nor do i want more
I've been treating my new minimum wage job as a short-term thing, but I have no motivation of applying for full-time office jobs. Maybe I'll just settle for thirty hours a week and try to live as frugally as possible. The idea of doing this for a decade or more is quite depressing though.
>>235575
Yeah but not everywhere, you don't want to be in a store or some events because it's a pain
Yeah but not everywhere, you don't want to be in a store or some events because it's a pain
I just want to sit down and play a fucking video game. Why is it so hard. I cant just have fun doing something simple and escape from this cold place but millions of people cant just pop in a game and have fun. let me have fun!!! this is bullshit
My crippling indecision is really annoying me. No idea how i'm gonna buy the car I need. I can't take a decision and always fear it'll break down instantly. Internet doesn't help since looking up any car show a billion problem
>arrive at work
>immediately feel like crying inside and my belly hurting, remembering my boss' daily humiliations
>immediately feel like crying inside and my belly hurting, remembering my boss' daily humiliations
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Does anyone else take online classes? And if so, do they (your professors, I'm assuming) allow students to turn their cameras off for "medical reasons"?. I'm an anxious avoidant wizzie and they might not take that excuse, why is everything so socially oriented it's maddening and I can't take it any more. Sorry for posting this here, I just don't know where else to ask.
>>235607
Depends on why the require a webcam. If it's just some bullshit about promoting class participation or whatever, you can always message the professor and tell them about your severe anxiety/shyness. They aren't heartless and will probably be understanding unless they suspect you're just trying to get out of work. An actual doctor's note or some kind of official diagnosis will definitely help.
If it's for a test/exam to catch cheating, then you're probably out of luck, but in that case you don't have to speak much.
Depends on why the require a webcam. If it's just some bullshit about promoting class participation or whatever, you can always message the professor and tell them about your severe anxiety/shyness. They aren't heartless and will probably be understanding unless they suspect you're just trying to get out of work. An actual doctor's note or some kind of official diagnosis will definitely help.
If it's for a test/exam to catch cheating, then you're probably out of luck, but in that case you don't have to speak much.
>>234727
my mom just watches politics/conspiracy theories all day and i can't stand it anymore either
she believes everything from a to z what they say and then walks around the house rambling and swearing
more often than not i have to debunk everything she says 1 by 1 but 2 hours later she watches it again
i really feel like i'm wasting my time but if i stop she'll just overrun me with her stupid crap
my mom just watches politics/conspiracy theories all day and i can't stand it anymore either
she believes everything from a to z what they say and then walks around the house rambling and swearing
more often than not i have to debunk everything she says 1 by 1 but 2 hours later she watches it again
i really feel like i'm wasting my time but if i stop she'll just overrun me with her stupid crap
>>235575
I am the "work overnights at a supermarket" wiz. That's about as good as security guard work. If you can find a position where you are working while the store's closed, though
I am the "work overnights at a supermarket" wiz. That's about as good as security guard work. If you can find a position where you are working while the store's closed, though
You ever take one of your virgin walks and 12-year-olds start shouting insults at you? Today I got called a beta and to "delete my account" by elementary-aged children on scooters.
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How do you deal with this feel? Everything is 'fine' for a few weeks and then all of a sudden I get this feeling of dread or maybe its despair (not exactly sure what the emotion is).
I used to drink and it would either make the feeling go away or I would pass out and not feel anything. I liked this method a lot.
I can't drink anymore so I've been resorting to day dreaming and sleeping. Day dreaming is comfy and I can get lost for hours but as soon as I have to go do IRL shit, the feeling comes back. I know that given enough time it will go away or I will have gotten used to it and begin a new cycle a few weeks later. But I don't want to live like this.
This feeling doesn't manifest when I'm wageslaving, it's only during my fucking free time. When I just want to relax and indulge in my stupid hobbies. Why do I have to suffer even on my time off? All I can do when I'm in this state is work and sleep.
I used to drink and it would either make the feeling go away or I would pass out and not feel anything. I liked this method a lot.
I can't drink anymore so I've been resorting to day dreaming and sleeping. Day dreaming is comfy and I can get lost for hours but as soon as I have to go do IRL shit, the feeling comes back. I know that given enough time it will go away or I will have gotten used to it and begin a new cycle a few weeks later. But I don't want to live like this.
This feeling doesn't manifest when I'm wageslaving, it's only during my fucking free time. When I just want to relax and indulge in my stupid hobbies. Why do I have to suffer even on my time off? All I can do when I'm in this state is work and sleep.
>>235638
I have the same wiz. There's no stopping it. It sounds bad but when it happens you're simply feeling how worthless your life is and how little it all matters. Doing your own thing is the quickest way to realize that.
I have the same wiz. There's no stopping it. It sounds bad but when it happens you're simply feeling how worthless your life is and how little it all matters. Doing your own thing is the quickest way to realize that.
>>235638
Same, the second I try to do anything but dissociate or exercise my brain starts spinning so fast I have to stop whatever I'm doing and go jerk off or lie down.
Same, the second I try to do anything but dissociate or exercise my brain starts spinning so fast I have to stop whatever I'm doing and go jerk off or lie down.
>>235563
Unless you're threatening to kill yourself you don't get anywhere really. You just have to jump through the hoops otherwise for months on end. Maybe longer. Getting help is just another chore and grind.
Unless you're threatening to kill yourself you don't get anywhere really. You just have to jump through the hoops otherwise for months on end. Maybe longer. Getting help is just another chore and grind.
I feel like my brain is somewhat done for. I feel like I can't learn new things, I get very tired immediately after I try to do something productive, I can lay in bed for hours and I'm not bored, I don't worry much about anything because I'm too lazy to seriously think about it. I don't care about what I used to care about because I feel like none of it makes any difference. I'm not into buddhism, meditation or mindfulness though, i just think that I thought and worried about everything so much in the past that I'm done for once in for all and don't see the point in worrying. I'm set. If I had bux I could die 'happy' now happy not as in that everything is great but that everything is somewhat okay. I don't feel the need to learn something new. Life's over in a way.
It's always been normal to suddenly remember flashes of embarrassing memories in the past that gives you mental pain but as of late, it has been happening more and more often to me. It has also started to have greater effect like making me curse out loud suddenly or start jumping in agitation. I wonder what triggers this change.
>mom calls
>how are you?
>flashbacks of a week full of chronic pains, diarrhea, depression, headaches, agonizing boredom, fears and suicide thoughts
>yeah, i'm ok
This thread full of talks about therapy/medicine/healthy lifestyle… Guess what, you finally reach your perfect state, stay there for a couple days - and then its just boredom at best. The damage is done, no endorphins for our kind.
For years i've been dreaming of living alone, now i am, and it's nothing.
There is nothing out there.
>how are you?
>flashbacks of a week full of chronic pains, diarrhea, depression, headaches, agonizing boredom, fears and suicide thoughts
>yeah, i'm ok
This thread full of talks about therapy/medicine/healthy lifestyle… Guess what, you finally reach your perfect state, stay there for a couple days - and then its just boredom at best. The damage is done, no endorphins for our kind.
For years i've been dreaming of living alone, now i am, and it's nothing.
There is nothing out there.
>>235694
>It has also started to have greater effect like making me curse out
Like many of us you're transforming into a proper wizard.
>It has also started to have greater effect like making me curse out
Like many of us you're transforming into a proper wizard.
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>>235700
any moron with a calculator can see it's not worth living alone, all the chads/normies from my high school are suffering right now literally guys who looked like movie stars are just drug addicts paying for a kid or working shit mcjobs supporting a family with a fat wife and annoying, nagging demon breederspawns
no one from my "class" in school made it, i didn't even bother trying and ended up in a better situation
any moron with a calculator can see it's not worth living alone, all the chads/normies from my high school are suffering right now literally guys who looked like movie stars are just drug addicts paying for a kid or working shit mcjobs supporting a family with a fat wife and annoying, nagging demon breederspawns
no one from my "class" in school made it, i didn't even bother trying and ended up in a better situation
I post the same things in this thread every time my mood changes. I make the same points over and over and have done for years.
Cycling depression shows how biological depression really is. Biological not in the sense of claims about serotonin but about claims of some external force dominating us rather than having mental control. You can call it bipolar or just cycling depression but I have periods where my entire world changes and my mind starts working again. I can watch my mood rising because of the amount of meditation and mindfulness I've tried to train, so I can notice the 8 hour period where things start coming back. And then at one point I'll test trying to do something and my body and mind will co-operate with the intention. It just appears like magic and the entire relationship to the world is different.
To describe a functional day I wake up with an amount of mental control. I can feel tired, sadness, or pain; but these are containable phenomena. Action outflows from the body and is directed by mind rather than mind needing to conjure up effort. I look at my to-do lists - I have multiple to-do lists of my essential chores, my chores that should be done, and then optional stuff that I know needs doing. When I'm not depressed I can slowly, calmly. and mindfully go down the to-do lists one at a time. I know what comes next, I know what I'm doing, and any tiredness of frustration is a containable emotion. Procrastination a containable experience you catch and use mental language to navigate away from. I can breathe, meditate, and step back from any negative experiences or memories. All the therapy techniques and philosophy makes sense, the mind is reactive to language. Not only that I can look at something and say I want to do that; I can say I have 4 hours I will spend an hour doing this, balancing it with others needs. A calm and ordered life with lots of progress.
Then when my mood changes I struggle to do any of it. The to-do list that took 30 minutes now takes 5 hours. I forget what the to-do list looks like, I don 't know what I have to do next. Any sense of habit or familiarity disappears. My mind shuts down, I can't access the same mental spaces, the same things create different outcomes. I go from a functional, mentally stable, and able to do all my chores in a calm way to being unable to even remember anything. When my mood comes back I will remember everything and be able to do it like nothing happened; I forget parts of programming languages or more complex stuff between good periods but habits and memory return.
That is how fucked depression is. It can take everything, it can take your ability to retrieve memory, and then when the mood period is over it just comes back like magic. You don't need negative beliefs or views, it isn't about mindset, sometimes it just rips through you. I go from being able to do chores for 8 hours in a day to barely being able to get up to go to the bathroom, and then in reverse it switches. Doesn't matter calm and ordered my life is when my mood is good, the swap happens.
The way it turns on and off is like a tap. The kicker? When your mind is working all the bullshit stories about depression being a choice make total sense. You feel like you're overcoming your negative mood, you feel yourself overcoming tiredness or negativity, the "you don't need motivation just do it" means something but it's pointing to motivation as reward rather than the ability to move. I don't believe most people actually experience dominating depression because I see the world they talk about, I see the world where their words make sense and that is not the oppressive depression that takes your humanity.
When I go in to the better mood I get suckered in by the claims about having some freedom and control of the mind because in that state it makes sense, it seems real. I find it hard to hold on to the belief that depression just turns off the meaningful parts of human experience, but in the moments I experience it and come from it the clarity is there. Most people don't want to believe it and attack the claim but it's true. Being mentally weak makes it hard to hold on to that belief in the face of people arguing otherwise, but it's the reality.
Cycling depression shows how biological depression really is. Biological not in the sense of claims about serotonin but about claims of some external force dominating us rather than having mental control. You can call it bipolar or just cycling depression but I have periods where my entire world changes and my mind starts working again. I can watch my mood rising because of the amount of meditation and mindfulness I've tried to train, so I can notice the 8 hour period where things start coming back. And then at one point I'll test trying to do something and my body and mind will co-operate with the intention. It just appears like magic and the entire relationship to the world is different.
To describe a functional day I wake up with an amount of mental control. I can feel tired, sadness, or pain; but these are containable phenomena. Action outflows from the body and is directed by mind rather than mind needing to conjure up effort. I look at my to-do lists - I have multiple to-do lists of my essential chores, my chores that should be done, and then optional stuff that I know needs doing. When I'm not depressed I can slowly, calmly. and mindfully go down the to-do lists one at a time. I know what comes next, I know what I'm doing, and any tiredness of frustration is a containable emotion. Procrastination a containable experience you catch and use mental language to navigate away from. I can breathe, meditate, and step back from any negative experiences or memories. All the therapy techniques and philosophy makes sense, the mind is reactive to language. Not only that I can look at something and say I want to do that; I can say I have 4 hours I will spend an hour doing this, balancing it with others needs. A calm and ordered life with lots of progress.
Then when my mood changes I struggle to do any of it. The to-do list that took 30 minutes now takes 5 hours. I forget what the to-do list looks like, I don 't know what I have to do next. Any sense of habit or familiarity disappears. My mind shuts down, I can't access the same mental spaces, the same things create different outcomes. I go from a functional, mentally stable, and able to do all my chores in a calm way to being unable to even remember anything. When my mood comes back I will remember everything and be able to do it like nothing happened; I forget parts of programming languages or more complex stuff between good periods but habits and memory return.
That is how fucked depression is. It can take everything, it can take your ability to retrieve memory, and then when the mood period is over it just comes back like magic. You don't need negative beliefs or views, it isn't about mindset, sometimes it just rips through you. I go from being able to do chores for 8 hours in a day to barely being able to get up to go to the bathroom, and then in reverse it switches. Doesn't matter calm and ordered my life is when my mood is good, the swap happens.
The way it turns on and off is like a tap. The kicker? When your mind is working all the bullshit stories about depression being a choice make total sense. You feel like you're overcoming your negative mood, you feel yourself overcoming tiredness or negativity, the "you don't need motivation just do it" means something but it's pointing to motivation as reward rather than the ability to move. I don't believe most people actually experience dominating depression because I see the world they talk about, I see the world where their words make sense and that is not the oppressive depression that takes your humanity.
When I go in to the better mood I get suckered in by the claims about having some freedom and control of the mind because in that state it makes sense, it seems real. I find it hard to hold on to the belief that depression just turns off the meaningful parts of human experience, but in the moments I experience it and come from it the clarity is there. Most people don't want to believe it and attack the claim but it's true. Being mentally weak makes it hard to hold on to that belief in the face of people arguing otherwise, but it's the reality.
Even when I'm not depressed/anxious/listless/angry I still feel as though life is pointless. Even if I'm in a good mood I think it would be great if I could simply die.
>>235704
>tfw ran out of twinkies
>too lazy to get out of bed to get more
let me tell you this one thing bros
life is simply unfair
>tfw ran out of twinkies
>too lazy to get out of bed to get more
let me tell you this one thing bros
life is simply unfair
>>235703
>When your mind is working all the bullshit stories about depression being a choice make total sense. You feel like you're overcoming your negative mood, you feel yourself overcoming tiredness or negativity, the "you don't need motivation just do it" means something but it's pointing to motivation as reward rather than the ability to move.
This may just be on you wiz. Just like >>235706 even when I'm in a good mood the thoughts still remain. I know that whatever I am feeling is temporary and I'll eventually transition to another state.
The negative feelings can go away but the underlying thoughts still remain. Even at my happiest I still think to myself that it's not worth living like this. It's not worth it to exercise, it's not worth it to eat well, it's not worth it to get some sun. When I'm in this state I do my job, day dream and sleep. Some would say I'm motivated to go to work despite how I feel but that's not the case. I work because the alternative is much worse.
I do understand what you are saying when your mood takes a turn for the better. The grass really does look greener, the sun feels warmer and the air smells fresher. It's like making the switch from watching 480p or 720p videos to 1080. So in this vein I do not experience "dominating depression". I see their world and I know why they keep repeating their meaningless platitudes. This understanding only highlights the differences between us. They are normal and we are not. We might as well be two separate species and I've made my peace with this. All I can do is cope as best as I can
>When your mind is working all the bullshit stories about depression being a choice make total sense. You feel like you're overcoming your negative mood, you feel yourself overcoming tiredness or negativity, the "you don't need motivation just do it" means something but it's pointing to motivation as reward rather than the ability to move.
This may just be on you wiz. Just like >>235706 even when I'm in a good mood the thoughts still remain. I know that whatever I am feeling is temporary and I'll eventually transition to another state.
The negative feelings can go away but the underlying thoughts still remain. Even at my happiest I still think to myself that it's not worth living like this. It's not worth it to exercise, it's not worth it to eat well, it's not worth it to get some sun. When I'm in this state I do my job, day dream and sleep. Some would say I'm motivated to go to work despite how I feel but that's not the case. I work because the alternative is much worse.
I do understand what you are saying when your mood takes a turn for the better. The grass really does look greener, the sun feels warmer and the air smells fresher. It's like making the switch from watching 480p or 720p videos to 1080. So in this vein I do not experience "dominating depression". I see their world and I know why they keep repeating their meaningless platitudes. This understanding only highlights the differences between us. They are normal and we are not. We might as well be two separate species and I've made my peace with this. All I can do is cope as best as I can
It is depressing that I really have no potential. Why even try self improvement when I will never amount to anything. I am limited by hardware and capital. I just wanted to do some cool stuff and chill. Sadly the brain is garbage and you need 10000000000000 hours just to get okay in anything. Oh also the individual doesn't matter because it is about machines and teams now. I never asked to be brought into this world, why I have to be here.
>>235764
>I never asked to be brought into this world, why I have to be here.
Because you were not brought into this world, wizzie, you're this world.
>I never asked to be brought into this world, why I have to be here.
Because you were not brought into this world, wizzie, you're this world.
>>235765
Of course it would be cool if I had any agency, but I am basically just forced to watch a movie I have no control over.
Of course it would be cool if I had any agency, but I am basically just forced to watch a movie I have no control over.
Probably something very stupid but…I bought a PS5 from amazon after trying for 3 weeks and of course my fucking luck steps in and it's not working correctly, I can get a refund from amazon but I don't know when I will be able to buy another one, probably months away.
Yes it's pretty fucking stupid but my life is shit anyway and at least videogames give me some consolation.
Yes it's pretty fucking stupid but my life is shit anyway and at least videogames give me some consolation.
>>235739
>they are normal we not
Normalcy is a spook. When you observe people carefully it becomes clear that everyone is crazy in their own way and nobody really knows what they're doing and why they're doing it.
>they are normal we not
Normalcy is a spook. When you observe people carefully it becomes clear that everyone is crazy in their own way and nobody really knows what they're doing and why they're doing it.
I think I had/have potential but I'm just wasting it and being a vegetable every day, I always scored top of the class,represented my state in some school competition and even got a prize (not 1st prize but still) back then people said that I was very smart and that I would be successful in life with a good job and shit,my classmates even joked that I should hire them to clean the pool at my mansion, and the contrary happened, pretty much everyone else is doing better than me, a normal guy would try to improve and get out of this mess but not me, I just can't care about it as I used to, I'm in a pretty bad situation regarding my future but I still don't care,at 25 I'm just leeching off my parents, I don't have any motivation to improve my situation.
Sometimes I fantasize about how my life would be if I was 100% motivated, I would probably work for google doing a comfy programmer job, earning tons of cash, travelling, living a good life but then I come back to reality and I'm just here wasting my time and wasting my life as always.
Being smart and with absolutely no motivation is a curse because you can't stop thinking about how your life would be if you had motivation like everyone else, I wish I was retarded because a retard would be perfectly fine with being a loser working a McJob and coming home to watch TV or play games or shit, he would be happy because he doesn't need anything else to be happy.
Ignorance is truly bliss, there's no point in being smart if you can't do shit with that, being a waste of potential (real or perceived) hurts a lot, like being given a winner lottery ticket and using it to clean your ass and throw it later.
Sometimes I fantasize about how my life would be if I was 100% motivated, I would probably work for google doing a comfy programmer job, earning tons of cash, travelling, living a good life but then I come back to reality and I'm just here wasting my time and wasting my life as always.
Being smart and with absolutely no motivation is a curse because you can't stop thinking about how your life would be if you had motivation like everyone else, I wish I was retarded because a retard would be perfectly fine with being a loser working a McJob and coming home to watch TV or play games or shit, he would be happy because he doesn't need anything else to be happy.
Ignorance is truly bliss, there's no point in being smart if you can't do shit with that, being a waste of potential (real or perceived) hurts a lot, like being given a winner lottery ticket and using it to clean your ass and throw it later.
>>235821
There is nothing retarded about wanting to live a quiet, uneventful life even if you're poor. As a former hikkikomori all I need in life is my room, PC, internet, books and some food. And I can afford all of that working at McSlave.
I refuse to participate in the rat race.
There is nothing retarded about wanting to live a quiet, uneventful life even if you're poor. As a former hikkikomori all I need in life is my room, PC, internet, books and some food. And I can afford all of that working at McSlave.
I refuse to participate in the rat race.
>>235821
Looks like you're on your path to become content with a simple life just like so many people who were tricked by an empty promise of deceptive potential. You don't have to be a retard for that. That idea is just reminiscent of your former world view where you thought you have to be the very best only to be decent. It's actually a sign of intelligence to adapt to your environment and settling down with a simple life is part of that. Motivation is not a given, some people never have the chance to use their skills for social and financial success, because that requires very specific conditions. You're still young so you can still try to go the path of success. You can try to brute force yourself into motivation. But you can also adapt to your current sentiment and learn to live a simple life. You're clever enough to figure things out. You have to start with radically questioning if you really want to meet all the gruesome expectations related to social success or if you want to have a different approach to life.
Looks like you're on your path to become content with a simple life just like so many people who were tricked by an empty promise of deceptive potential. You don't have to be a retard for that. That idea is just reminiscent of your former world view where you thought you have to be the very best only to be decent. It's actually a sign of intelligence to adapt to your environment and settling down with a simple life is part of that. Motivation is not a given, some people never have the chance to use their skills for social and financial success, because that requires very specific conditions. You're still young so you can still try to go the path of success. You can try to brute force yourself into motivation. But you can also adapt to your current sentiment and learn to live a simple life. You're clever enough to figure things out. You have to start with radically questioning if you really want to meet all the gruesome expectations related to social success or if you want to have a different approach to life.
It should be legal to euthanize kids as soon as you find out that they're autistic. What point is there to keep us alive? We will never have decent lives and will struggle to do even basic things like getting a job or taking care of ourselves. It would have saved me a lot of trouble if they had stuck me in the gas chamber. Fuck, even Nazi Germany at least understood this.
>>235840
There should be a very easy and straightforward way to officially ask for getting killed for everyone. No requirements should be applied to your death wish. Especially for autistic people there should be a way to ask in written form without talking to anyone.
There should be a very easy and straightforward way to officially ask for getting killed for everyone. No requirements should be applied to your death wish. Especially for autistic people there should be a way to ask in written form without talking to anyone.
>>235840
In 2021 "Autistic" is just codeword for "weird". You'd be advocating for letting parents murder their children just for being wizkids.
In 2021 "Autistic" is just codeword for "weird". You'd be advocating for letting parents murder their children just for being wizkids.
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Living the real Sisyphus life trying every day and failing for years. It's shit. bang bang bang your head.
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I wonder how would a neet fare in a "post-scarcity" society like the one of Star Trek. Would they still pressure people to fill some sort of role or just leave the people who don't want to/can't work alone and provide some sort of basic income.
>>235943
And what are the life goals of people and other sentient spicies in Star Trek society?
And what are the life goals of people and other sentient spicies in Star Trek society?
>>235943
I would actually want to work in a world like that. It would be interesting to meet new alien lifeforms. I dont know what job I'd even do but hey it would be cool
I would actually want to work in a world like that. It would be interesting to meet new alien lifeforms. I dont know what job I'd even do but hey it would be cool
>>235943
>>235948
I don't think this answers your question all the way. Even though there's not wealth, there is still status, clout and hierarchy in Star Trek future, so I bet status-seekers would still look down on content neets and there would remain peer pressure to "make oneself useful". Since status-seekers seek status, they often acquire it and proceed to use their platform to propagandize their worldview.
>>235948
I don't think this answers your question all the way. Even though there's not wealth, there is still status, clout and hierarchy in Star Trek future, so I bet status-seekers would still look down on content neets and there would remain peer pressure to "make oneself useful". Since status-seekers seek status, they often acquire it and proceed to use their platform to propagandize their worldview.
>>235949
Some poor-ass planet with no highly automated technologies will hire deadbeats to transport gigatons of trash to black holes. Most likely they die of radiation after the second run.
Some poor-ass planet with no highly automated technologies will hire deadbeats to transport gigatons of trash to black holes. Most likely they die of radiation after the second run.
There is a robin in the warehouse
I don't know how long he has been there
And if he is trapped
I don't know what he does for food
But he flies around and scuttles between the pallets
He doesn't wait near the loading bay door
- which is I guess where he entered -
And that suggests that he isn't desperate to leave,
I keep thinking of bringing some food for him to eat
But I never remember to do that.
I don't know how long he has been there
And if he is trapped
I don't know what he does for food
But he flies around and scuttles between the pallets
He doesn't wait near the loading bay door
- which is I guess where he entered -
And that suggests that he isn't desperate to leave,
I keep thinking of bringing some food for him to eat
But I never remember to do that.
I am hyped as fuck right now. According to my physical health issues I will die within the next ten years. There's hope again!
>>235976
Fuck, I'd be so happy if I had that knowledge. I'm waiting until the day I hopefully get a terminal illness and cry tears of joy.
Fuck, I'd be so happy if I had that knowledge. I'm waiting until the day I hopefully get a terminal illness and cry tears of joy.
there's nothing to feel in the air
no one from above watching over
wise words don't alter your mind
you cannot stop in the moment
no lamb lies down with a lion
no rewards for your hard labor
your neighbors have different morals
you're not seventeen anymore
and nothing here worth to behold
daydreaming won't save you from boredom
don't drink yourself to sunset
don't stab your hand with scissors
no one from above watching over
wise words don't alter your mind
you cannot stop in the moment
no lamb lies down with a lion
no rewards for your hard labor
your neighbors have different morals
you're not seventeen anymore
and nothing here worth to behold
daydreaming won't save you from boredom
don't drink yourself to sunset
don't stab your hand with scissors
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>>234808
This is an exaggeration of the benefits of living in the first world, especially since Burgerstanis such as myself have been completely disillusioned of the necessary tradeoffs we’d been making for our supposed constitutionally guaranteed freedoms. The primary reason for dread in the first world is the power and sophistication of the medical security state which has been on full display under coronachan’s heel but has imposed less visible constraints on millions for decades at the very least, take meds schitzo and all that.
I’ve spent a combined total of a couple months of my life involuntarily dragged off, locked up, drugged down, and jabbed into unconsciousness with countless more years spent in ‘voluntary’ rehabilitation which effectively operated as secular confessionals until I could take advantage of prison planet to pry myself out of the system. This situation is not unique and even worse than the authority endowed to pharmaceutical sophists is the reality that it’s most likely to be your own family, friends, or acquaintances that will report you for evaluation due to perceived social slights indicative of what is contemporaneously considered some level of instability.
Of course this isn’t to say that it’s unlikely you’re coworkers, neighbors, or perturbed strangers may not be the ones to make the call that gets you hauled off. Granted, the bittersweet silver lining to all of this is that no one can deny that the walls are visibly beginning to close in on all of us now. There are far more unwritten rules to follow and the pool of unwitting fresh meat with deeper pockets to scavenge has been exponentially expanded now that my personal psychosis is becoming collective and all inclusive.
This is an exaggeration of the benefits of living in the first world, especially since Burgerstanis such as myself have been completely disillusioned of the necessary tradeoffs we’d been making for our supposed constitutionally guaranteed freedoms. The primary reason for dread in the first world is the power and sophistication of the medical security state which has been on full display under coronachan’s heel but has imposed less visible constraints on millions for decades at the very least, take meds schitzo and all that.
I’ve spent a combined total of a couple months of my life involuntarily dragged off, locked up, drugged down, and jabbed into unconsciousness with countless more years spent in ‘voluntary’ rehabilitation which effectively operated as secular confessionals until I could take advantage of prison planet to pry myself out of the system. This situation is not unique and even worse than the authority endowed to pharmaceutical sophists is the reality that it’s most likely to be your own family, friends, or acquaintances that will report you for evaluation due to perceived social slights indicative of what is contemporaneously considered some level of instability.
Of course this isn’t to say that it’s unlikely you’re coworkers, neighbors, or perturbed strangers may not be the ones to make the call that gets you hauled off. Granted, the bittersweet silver lining to all of this is that no one can deny that the walls are visibly beginning to close in on all of us now. There are far more unwritten rules to follow and the pool of unwitting fresh meat with deeper pockets to scavenge has been exponentially expanded now that my personal psychosis is becoming collective and all inclusive.
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I hate how weak depression makes me. I do all the therapy and internal work to rework my reactions, my thoughts, my judgements, and all that stuff - but when the depression dials up a notch everything becomes so intensely painful. Negative social interaction rips through me and destabilizes my whole mind, mild social pain becomes overwhelming. All the stories I try to tell myself that I'm getting better are nothing when the exact same situations suddenly feel like a sword to the throat, I could handle them one day and now I'm in the foetal position.
I feel tired all the fucking time, I don't watch anything, I don't play videogames, I just refresh imageboards, I hate living with my parents yet I'm not interested in anything and I don't want go get a dead end job. I feel like shit. It sucks.
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>>236056
either you'll be less tired, or die of a heart attack, all for good
either you'll be less tired, or die of a heart attack, all for good
>>236056
The fix to this is to spend time just laying on the floor doing nothing instead of zombie browsing. Gives your thoughts time to sort themselves out and find out what they want to do.
The fix to this is to spend time just laying on the floor doing nothing instead of zombie browsing. Gives your thoughts time to sort themselves out and find out what they want to do.
Dad died less than a year ago due to glioblastoma (malign brain tumor). Eight months after the diagnosis and countless hospitalizations he died here at home. That was easily the worst period of my life. Nothing that I've ever felt comes close to that atmosphere of hopelessness and impending doom plus the exhaustation and stress produced by taking care of a severely ill person. First he needed help to walk, then he couldn't move his left side anymore, then he couldn't control his sphincters, lost of the sense of time and space, one day he couldn't even remember his name and finally after a massive stroke he ended as a vegetal, he never talked again and after week he probably passed away due to starvation. I will never forget the last thing he said to me, in a brief moment of clarity he remembered who I am, so he murmured with a faltering voice: "you are anon, my beloved son". I can't shake off that picture from my head, each night I remember his voice and his eyes looking at me.
>>236085
That is really really tough but did you not feed him when he was a vegie? what went on there anon?
That is really really tough but did you not feed him when he was a vegie? what went on there anon?
>>236056
There's a profound tedium associated with just being conscious. You have to just bare existence itself before you get to ANY of the other stuff. You can never get off the ground.
There's a profound tedium associated with just being conscious. You have to just bare existence itself before you get to ANY of the other stuff. You can never get off the ground.
I really hate going to the doctors, but I've had such bad pains in my intestines lately and worrying amounts of blood and mucus in my stool that I think I'm going to bite the bullet and do it. I'm northern Euro so I expect I probably have undiagnosed Crohn's disease or something (it's very common here), but I'm really hoping it turns out that I just have an infection that'll soon go away.
Modern medicine is great, but I still envy people born centuries from now who'll probably have machines inside their houses that can diagnose and maybe even solve problems like this.
Modern medicine is great, but I still envy people born centuries from now who'll probably have machines inside their houses that can diagnose and maybe even solve problems like this.
>tfw deteriorated schizophrenia, basically dementia at 28, losing more of my memories and mind by the day, constant freakishly blank look in my eyes, can't even leave the house without feeling like a freak
fuck you if you think your life is hard without a psychotic disorder, you have no idea, I'm basically gonna be dead in a few years you fucks. cherish your sanity. you might not consider it but you can lose that too
fuck you if you think your life is hard without a psychotic disorder, you have no idea, I'm basically gonna be dead in a few years you fucks. cherish your sanity. you might not consider it but you can lose that too
>>236086
>did you not feed him when he was a vegie? what went on there anon?
He was a vegetal, he couldn't swallow and the doctor said there wasn't any point in trying to feed him through other mediums.
>>236095
The last weeks he was on heavy doses of morphine and painkillers. Sadly we couldn't dispend him of the pain and suffering of the final stroke. That was horrible to watch.
>did you not feed him when he was a vegie? what went on there anon?
He was a vegetal, he couldn't swallow and the doctor said there wasn't any point in trying to feed him through other mediums.
>>236095
The last weeks he was on heavy doses of morphine and painkillers. Sadly we couldn't dispend him of the pain and suffering of the final stroke. That was horrible to watch.
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One of my molars is fucked beyond repair and I have to money to fix it.
>>236166
3 of my molars are gone and one is in pretty bad shape, by the time I'm 40 I'll have to survive on smoothies.
3 of my molars are gone and one is in pretty bad shape, by the time I'm 40 I'll have to survive on smoothies.
>>236166
>>236169
Isn't this what Medicaid/Medicare is for in America? I thought poorfags got free medical treatment if they couldn't pay for it.
I've had to have 4 crowns fitted, but fortunately I never had to pay for it. Even though dental treatment is free here, I still hate going to the dentist though.
>>236169
Isn't this what Medicaid/Medicare is for in America? I thought poorfags got free medical treatment if they couldn't pay for it.
I've had to have 4 crowns fitted, but fortunately I never had to pay for it. Even though dental treatment is free here, I still hate going to the dentist though.
>>236170
I'm not american and treatment here is cheap, I just don't want to go to the dentist, last time he started nagging at me and I just thought he could just go fuck himself.
I'm not american and treatment here is cheap, I just don't want to go to the dentist, last time he started nagging at me and I just thought he could just go fuck himself.
I wish I could enjoy anime as I used to back then, I used to watch pretty much everything every season and had a ton of fun doing so, I would imagine the characters talking with me, having fun etc, everything to keep loneliness and depression at bay.
I also remember the sadness when some of my favorite anime ended, the feeling that those characters that were so dear to me would stay there on the screen forever, static, not ever growing up or getting their problems fully solved while I was forced to move on in real life, knowing that I would never see them again, as if they died, I felt sad, as if a dear friend was saying goodbye to me.
Maybe that's why I stopped watching anime, I became too emotionally invested in those small awesome worlds to let it go, still I wish I could go back to those happy moments again, life has gotten worse since I became an adult, the second I was 18 I knew that life would be worse and that I could no longer relate to the characters as I used to,I became an adult and most of them would stay on HS forever, now I'm 25 and life seems harder every day.
I also remember the sadness when some of my favorite anime ended, the feeling that those characters that were so dear to me would stay there on the screen forever, static, not ever growing up or getting their problems fully solved while I was forced to move on in real life, knowing that I would never see them again, as if they died, I felt sad, as if a dear friend was saying goodbye to me.
Maybe that's why I stopped watching anime, I became too emotionally invested in those small awesome worlds to let it go, still I wish I could go back to those happy moments again, life has gotten worse since I became an adult, the second I was 18 I knew that life would be worse and that I could no longer relate to the characters as I used to,I became an adult and most of them would stay on HS forever, now I'm 25 and life seems harder every day.
No matter what you post here, no one will give a shit. Think about it. Do you care about anybody else ITT?
>>236224
>Do you care about anybody else ITT?
Not personally and that's for the better. Look, succubi and social workers that 'care' for their clients and other people do it because it feels good to help those who are worse off than oneself. It boosts the Ego and gives a sense of power. By the way this is one of the main reasons why I hate posts that advice the typical self improvement stuff as people don't do that to help you but to demonstrate their superiority.
Wizchan is more like a platform for singular minds with one common trait - virginity over the age of 18 as a male - to make an exchange about the world and our experiences. It's more like a shared diary. Hell, sometimes wisdom drops that could be from an antique market place with philosophers and lunatics in one place shouting at each other.
>Do you care about anybody else ITT?
Not personally and that's for the better. Look, succubi and social workers that 'care' for their clients and other people do it because it feels good to help those who are worse off than oneself. It boosts the Ego and gives a sense of power. By the way this is one of the main reasons why I hate posts that advice the typical self improvement stuff as people don't do that to help you but to demonstrate their superiority.
Wizchan is more like a platform for singular minds with one common trait - virginity over the age of 18 as a male - to make an exchange about the world and our experiences. It's more like a shared diary. Hell, sometimes wisdom drops that could be from an antique market place with philosophers and lunatics in one place shouting at each other.
>>236224
Does it matter? I just like to vent and say stuff out of my mind because i'm lonely as hell and don't talk to any human or living thing for months.
Does it matter? I just like to vent and say stuff out of my mind because i'm lonely as hell and don't talk to any human or living thing for months.
>>236229
>Look, succubi and social workers that 'care' for their clients and other people do it because it feels good to help those who are worse off than oneself. It boosts the Ego and gives a sense of power. By the way this is one of the main reasons why I hate posts that advice the typical self improvement stuff as people don't do that to help you but to demonstrate their superiority.
How would a post that genuinely wants to help you look then? If you wanted to genuinely help somebody out, would you advise anything different than those succubi and social workers? I think you've self-conditioned yourself to believe that everyone has a selfish ulterior motive.
>>236230
Is it really venting if saying it out loud yields the same result as keeping it to yourself?
>Look, succubi and social workers that 'care' for their clients and other people do it because it feels good to help those who are worse off than oneself. It boosts the Ego and gives a sense of power. By the way this is one of the main reasons why I hate posts that advice the typical self improvement stuff as people don't do that to help you but to demonstrate their superiority.
How would a post that genuinely wants to help you look then? If you wanted to genuinely help somebody out, would you advise anything different than those succubi and social workers? I think you've self-conditioned yourself to believe that everyone has a selfish ulterior motive.
>>236230
Is it really venting if saying it out loud yields the same result as keeping it to yourself?
>>236235
>you've self-conditioned yourself to believe that everyone has a selfish ulterior motive
I don't need to condition myself to acknowledge the truth.
>you've self-conditioned yourself to believe that everyone has a selfish ulterior motive
I don't need to condition myself to acknowledge the truth.
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Went into therapy last year for the first time in nearly a decade, hopeful that I could crack myself and find out why I react certain ways to people and situations, but I just find that it's extremely routine and feels uninvolved. I don't know why I expected anything different, and all the meds do is give me the runs multiple times a day. I'm thinking to just discontinue it since it's a money sink.
>>236358
It's both money and a time sink.Do yourself a favor and never go there again, understanding why you react certain ways to situations won't change anything in your life, and even if it did,the time,money and effort you spent wouldn't have been worth it
It's both money and a time sink.Do yourself a favor and never go there again, understanding why you react certain ways to situations won't change anything in your life, and even if it did,the time,money and effort you spent wouldn't have been worth it
Feel very drained nothing is going right in general in life but I just wish I felt I had more energy I wake up feeling exhausted I fail to enjoy anything in a meaningful way. what is a wizzie to do? I wish someone would kill me I am too afraid of killing myself.
I’m having one of those days where I can’t seem to do anything right. Can’t focus, feel like I’m in such a haze, then I just feel angry and frustrated because I can’t focus. It’s so hopeless.
>>236422
What would you like to focus for? for me it is to read or write and think out ideas I have but I cannot even watch anime at the moment as usual so reading any heavy book will be useess
What would you like to focus for? for me it is to read or write and think out ideas I have but I cannot even watch anime at the moment as usual so reading any heavy book will be useess
I dropped my phone out my pocket and it got run over by a car. I was about to record some audio on it. Demiurge got me.
>>236224
Plenty of people here care and read these posts. There’s just nothing to say. The silence is equally comforting as a stranger saying “I hope things turn out ok” or something and many are too depressed to muster positive feelings to exert on others. Even talking in to the void together is some form of comradery.
I’ve probably read every single post in these depression crawl threads since the first one. I haven’t replied to more than a handful in years.
Plenty of people here care and read these posts. There’s just nothing to say. The silence is equally comforting as a stranger saying “I hope things turn out ok” or something and many are too depressed to muster positive feelings to exert on others. Even talking in to the void together is some form of comradery.
I’ve probably read every single post in these depression crawl threads since the first one. I haven’t replied to more than a handful in years.
>>236427
I have some work to do for online college and I couldn't really focus on any of it. I also have a personal goal to practice piano every night for 1 hour but I couldn't focus or practice well at all so I quit after about 25 minutes of trying to play the same thing over and over and messing up on an easy song I already know. I also wanted to play some videogames online but my gameplay is really bad and I can't focus on what's happening in the game.
I have some work to do for online college and I couldn't really focus on any of it. I also have a personal goal to practice piano every night for 1 hour but I couldn't focus or practice well at all so I quit after about 25 minutes of trying to play the same thing over and over and messing up on an easy song I already know. I also wanted to play some videogames online but my gameplay is really bad and I can't focus on what's happening in the game.
I take adderall for my ADHD but I always end up doubling my dose because it gives me some kind of pleasure in my otherwise horrible life. This means I run out early and I have to suffer before getting my new dosage.
I just want to feel good! I just want to enjoy my life!
I just want to feel good! I just want to enjoy my life!
>>236440
may as well move onto meth. Thinking of taking heroin myself but obviously have no friends so cannot buy it and cannot order online and have delivered.
may as well move onto meth. Thinking of taking heroin myself but obviously have no friends so cannot buy it and cannot order online and have delivered.
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I hate real life, it's so boring, so meaningless, so rude and unforgiving. I just want to escape, I want to be a NEET for the rest of my life, I want to stay in my room, play vidya and listen to music, indulge myself with literature… But apparently it's too much to ask for. People outside don't give a shit about you, all they want is to make your life even more miserable. When I'm trying to escape my condition, because I understand that as soon as my mother dies I'll be done for, normalfags create more and more problems for you to overcome. Want to fix your health? Sorry, you don't have enough money. Want to get a job? Sorry, no job experience, no useful skills no job for you. And they expect me to remain motivated, just doing something is not enough for them, they want more. This is not who I am, I don't want to be a part of this world of filth and blood, just another worthless participant in the rat race. But I'm too much of a narcissistic coward to kill myself. This is the tragedy.
I'm slowly decaying, life becomes even more unbearable but there is no escape. I'm stuck in limbo.
I'm slowly decaying, life becomes even more unbearable but there is no escape. I'm stuck in limbo.
>>236442
Dont go thinking being a NEET will make your life better to the point you wont want to kill yourself because it will be just as shit in different ways trust me.
Dont go thinking being a NEET will make your life better to the point you wont want to kill yourself because it will be just as shit in different ways trust me.
>>236442
I'm a NEET and it's terrible, but I can't fit in with normalfags so I have no other choice.
I'm a NEET and it's terrible, but I can't fit in with normalfags so I have no other choice.
>>236442
Life is a tragedy. Embrace suffering and continue to push forward. If you want healthcare, a job or to live comfortably then strive to get stronger and better. You either make it or you break it, so to speak. No matter whether you succeed or fail you at least tried your best.
Life is a tragedy. Embrace suffering and continue to push forward. If you want healthcare, a job or to live comfortably then strive to get stronger and better. You either make it or you break it, so to speak. No matter whether you succeed or fail you at least tried your best.
does anyone else feel their family hates them and only have anything to do with you because you are related?
my family know I cannot live on my own but do not want anything to do with me they want to have me living in a shed away from them because they cannot stand seeing my bedroom knowing I am in there.
I'm very much unsure if I am hallucinating again but last time I woke up I heard them yell at me to "go back to bed" and this makes no sense as I get in trouble for going to bed.
my family know I cannot live on my own but do not want anything to do with me they want to have me living in a shed away from them because they cannot stand seeing my bedroom knowing I am in there.
I'm very much unsure if I am hallucinating again but last time I woke up I heard them yell at me to "go back to bed" and this makes no sense as I get in trouble for going to bed.
>>236496
I feel your pain but unfortunately I cannot alleviate it stay strong wizard. Family is a spook anyway.
I feel your pain but unfortunately I cannot alleviate it stay strong wizard. Family is a spook anyway.
I have fallen back into the groove of wasting every single day on the internet. Nothing seems to have any purpose. I awoke this morning at 3:30 AM and the first thing I saw was webms of birds pecking each other's brains out (on /v/, of course). It was another of those days where mom can't mask her disappointment and just doesn't speak to you.
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