Thought I'd get myself a life size anime figure to help stymie the intense loneliness I've been feeling lately, since I thought it might be within my price range. Turns out a decent one costs like $6000 minimum. Damn it. I'd even be willing to pay a little over a $1000 for one, since I have that much lying around, but $6000 is just way too much for me. I wouldn't even care if it looked like my waifu or not, although that'd obviously be the ideal. I'll admit that I didn't really look all that hard though, so maybe there's something more affordable out there that isn't nightmare fuel.
Maybe a high quality standee would do instead. Sex dolls are more cost effective, but look creepy as hell. A waifu-centric sheet for my body pillow just wouldn't do anything for me, I'm afraid, despite that being the most popular option for a lot of people.
There's also something called paper craft which I saw while looking through various options out there, but it looks like the sort of thing you have to pretty much create yourself and I'm far too hamfisted to do something like that.
I just want something I can hug that actually has a human form and that isn't just a pillow, while also not looking like something ripped right out of the uncanny valley. I'd really just be so happy just simply sleeping next to it in my bed. I feel like I'm going crazy here. I just need something in this room with me. Something I can pretend loves me and wants to be with me. All I've been doing the last little while is just crying softly to myself, at various spontaneous intervals, out of a sheer, crushing sense of loneliness. I'm fine with a self-imagined facsimile of love, since I'm a completely autistic invalid whom most people would run away screaming from if they ever knew me. I can't wrap my head around actual relationships. I never have and I never will. Something like this, is the best I'll ever be able to do and is really the best possible option for me & everyone else.
More than anything else, perhaps a VR headset would do just as well. Although, I can easily imagine myself crying if I ever booted up something more intimate or wholesome to simulate a sense of affection. That's just how pathetic I am, it seems.
Can't a poor, lonely hermit, have at least this? Is it really so much to ask, or will it forever remain in the realm of rich collectors and other such well off individuals? The reason they're so expensive is probably becPost too long. Click here to view the full text.