>>44262By recognizing the loop first and foremost. For me it is like this: I get triggered by an anxious thought, image, idea, whatever. It brings me severe discomfort, activates fight or flight mode - trying to find a 'good' thought, idea, image to 'combat' the bad one = brain learns to FEAR those 'bad' thoughts and gives you anxiety whenever they appear. You need to realize this mechanism of worrying. Be mindful, meditation may sound gay but it helps.
>I want to trust her and just be happy with herYou have to 'let go' of this goal for now, I'm afraid. It will lead to checking, 'combating' the thoughts. It hurts but the brain is a nasty tool of Demiurge.
Anyway, I realize it sounds like a bullshit, I've been there, but things shouldn't be like this wizard, waifu love shouldn't be based on fear, anxiety and pain.