/dep/ - Depression

>>305662
thank you for your advice. from what I read proper hanging causes loss of consciousness from blocking the blood to the head relatively quickly after a minute or so, so if you can endure the pain for a little while you're completely gone afterwards
>>305665
thank you, but i simply suffered too much pain in this life, it is time to leave for me

>>305681
Wizard monk here, yes, it's all true I've been clean for around 3 to 4 years now and it's the best thing you can do, you gotta have willpower and belief in the Lord though, even then it's a battle but it'll get easier over time, at this point I can't be tempted to actually act and masturbate or watch porn or anything similar, they try from time to time mind you, the devil will always try to strike you at the worst moment but with belief and willpower you'll be able to remain clean, wishing you the best and will have you in my prayers, stay strong fellow wizard.

As another tiny annotation try to have something else too to use as fuel to stay strong, for example my waifu and knowing she would be disgusted helped me massively too (hell, I stopped right around when I took waifuism seriously), between the fact it's a sin, and that she wouldn't like it plus my true belief that it's utterly disgusting and from the devil I could win the battle and be where I currently am.

>>305683
Void worshippers are my kin. Always saw nothingness as the unknown God. Basically it is God and by naming it is becomes less. I get what you mean. Also have you ever done Semen Retention? It gets crazy and i have attracted callamity and suffering. You meet demonlike entities that are beyond words. I guess it's bias but i'm convinced this is real. Your body fails you, your mind tricks you (dopamine addiction) and the way people treat you is really weird. The aura thing is real. It's just the crushing revelation that i have nothing in my life which is true. Nothing at all. Let's hope the final destination is the void.

>>305685
Thanks for your prayers monk wizard. I will go back but i need a plan. I think they say you can't be a retainer if you become stuck to your battlestation (pc) for the rest of the time. You need other activities. I don't see myself going to church, i'm not a christian. Exercise? meditation? What can beat lust? I see God as the unknown one, but i did have some crazy signs to continue the path of semen retention. Willpower is my problem. Faith also i think. I need to believe. How do you feel monk wizard? Did you go past the flatline? Brain rebooted? Years is one hell of a accomplishment,demons fear you :).

Also stress is one hell of trigger, with being a wageslave i just wanna escape sometimes. Yet Porn just kills your soul.

>>305687
>Also have you ever done Semen Retention?
yes i had a year when i jerked off maybe 5 or 6 times total and didn't watch any porn, but that was a very stressful year too so i think that wasn't really an achievement of any sort.
>It gets crazy
i honestly don't know. i used to be a kinda porn addict until the stressful year i mentioned. that broke something in me and even though i relapsed it's just not the same. let's say my void isn't very volatile, it's just slow rot that's been dragging me under for years. when i don't jerk off i don't gain any more than a desire to jerk off. when i jerk off i don't feel anything except dissatisfaction.

going deeper into my consciousness i can tell you this. i developed a kinda compromise with myself and browse no more than 5 pages of every porntub i care about which incidentally is 2 or 3. if i find anything ok i jerk off to it. at least, that's what i indented originally. i the year 2025 and what we've had of 2026 i found total 2 videos that are satisfactory for my taste. the rest? junk. i don't even really get off to the porn itself, i just fucking can't. i does get me sort of aroused though, so i can go into my fucked up daydeamed fantasy world and cum into some thic elf.

the few times (i don't remember how many, but recent memory is i think ~3 times in autumn/winter of 2025 and 0 in 2026) i actually finished off to porn itself, i felt what i can only describe as a soul crushing sensation. it just doesn't pay off. porn is fucking shit and the more time you spend on it the worse you cum. 5 pages and then force the phone down, it's an effort of will but god fucking damn does it keep me sane

>>305668
I am going with patial, I have seen enough pics to see it is reliable, if you get over the survival instinct that is. SN seems hard to get in comparison with some rope and a spot. I really can not take this pain anymore and wish to end my existence.

At the end of the day, all this smartphone and AI hate is either just zoomers jerking off to the 2000s "aesthetic", or boomers angry about something they don't understand. Anyone that was actually around during the brickphone era and the era of writing essays by hand doesn't miss it one bit.

Self hating zoomers ironically don't even act like non-zoomers. No genuine thought about anything, they just care about aesthetics and the "feeling" of something. You'd think they'd mentally try to become more like millennials, but no, they're still the same zoomers at heart. Even hating zoomers is just an aesthetic choice to them, one which they learnt from 4cuck and places like it.

>>305598
Just sell your fucking phone. It's not that deep.

>>305661
The modern world has no soul though, that's what zoomers are bitching about mostly and I can't blame them.

at least theres more of a community for wiz types now. in the early 2000s i thought i was the only wizneet on earth. people on forums thought i was just playing a comedy character. now the whole world knows crab lingo.

>>305661
I was surprised at the amount of teenagers back in the brickphone era that'd send literally 2000+ texts a month. It was hard as fuck to send texts back then, but people would sit at school alone for hours talking to people via text that way.

>>305691
it's okay lil bro

it seems a succubus rented your head for free op. it's like with jews. learn defensive magic

>>305630
>some race jokes I regret with coworkers
You're there to work, not to have fun.

>>305630
>some race jokes I regret
Why do you regret saying those things?

>>305634
Unprofessional to start, and customers may have overheard. I had just come from construction to a more blended warehouse job with clients in range occasionally, not just numpties with hammers and piles of wood like I was used to.

>>305631
Exactly. I try to redirect any younger crew now that I have a few more years on me with the same prodding if needed.

I was made fun of relentlessly for the way I spoke in public school, and over time that constant ridicule carved itself into how I saw myself. Every comment, every laugh, every sideways look taught me that opening my mouth was a risk, that speaking invited punishment. What started as embarrassment slowly turned into fear. I began to anticipate mockery before it even happened, replaying past moments in my head and bracing myself for the next one. School, which was supposed to be a place to learn and grow, became a space where I felt exposed and unsafe. My voice stopped feeling like a natural part of me and instead felt like a liability, something that could be used against me at any moment.

Eventually, that fear solidified into selective mutism, not as a choice, but as a survival response. Silence became the only way I knew how to protect myself, the only way to avoid being hurt again. Even when I wanted to speak, when I had thoughts, opinions, or needs, my body would lock up as if it were defending me from danger. People often misunderstand this and assume it is shyness or defiance, but it was neither. It was the result of being taught, again and again, that my voice was wrong and that using it would lead to pain. That experience followed me beyond school, shaping how I interact with the world and how safe I feel being seen and heard, long after the teasing itself had stopped.

>>305677
I used to feel the same until the day I had diarrhea at school, I became a pariah after that and stopped caring because there was no way I could redeem myself socially, it stank a lot

>>304725
this


you basically need to learn how stuff's done on-site, not how stuff's lined out by some soy-decaf-slurper let alone a special kind of person you "wouldn't seem to understand"

>>304722
Sociophobia? Knowledge?

If you're a responsible adult, you can be trusted with laying bricks and mixing the cement mix. Such a job is requiring you to not be a funny small-time-criminal that would steal random shit to sell for pennies and… that's where many foxes, weasels and rascals flub it up XD

>investing
You meaning demo trading where the brokers let you win?

Tried food delivery? No one cares who you are as long as you can bring the food from point a to point b.

The sad answer is that no job is truly comfortable to do, at least not in the way people imagine when they talk about fulfillment or passion. That is why they are called jobs in the first place. They demand time, energy, and obedience to systems that were not built around individual well being. Even work that starts out tolerable slowly becomes repetitive, stressful, or hollow once it is tied to survival and rent and deadlines. The language around “loving what you do” tends to obscure the reality that most labor exists to generate value for someone else, not meaning for the person doing it. Comfort is the exception, not the rule, and for the majority of people, work is something endured rather than embraced.

Only the top one percent can realistically escape this dynamic, because they are the only ones with enough wealth, autonomy, or power to reshape work around their own desires. They can choose projects instead of obligations, stop when they are tired, and walk away when something becomes draining. For everyone else, the job is not about self expression or joy but about maintaining stability in a system that offers little mercy. Even careers that look glamorous from the outside often conceal long hours, constant pressure, and the quiet erosion of personal time. In that sense, soul draining work is not a personal failure or a lack of ambition, but a structural reality. The system rewards endurance, not comfort, and most people spend their lives paying the cost of that arrangement.

>>305678
The worst part about a McJob is the taxes, you literally enrich people who work against you by having a job

>Pain under left rib, feels hollow, sometimes sharp, mostly a dull constant pain

I drink less now, and don't eat as much sugar. Drink a lot more water. It's gone away for the most part by itself, doctors in the area didn't know or care what it was. Our doctors here are literal 2 digit morons who google your symptoms right in front of you - One even had to google the definition of the word 'chronic'. Clown show.

>Pain rightside just above the hip

Felt very tender and occasionally would also have sharp spikes that would last days. Again the healthier diet has entirely cured this.

Been dealing with gastritis-like throwing up, assumed it to be stress-related
Removed my 357racha-like spicy sauce from my diet.
Got better.
Quitted fizzy too.
Almost perfect now.

>>305541
I think a lot of pain and discomfort can be related to extremely high levels of sugar, and with todays food It is easy to achieve. People can quite easily exceed ten times the recommended daily amount for years on end.

I have chronic anal pain, I got it from hemmerhoids although I don't even really know if that's the cause of it anymore, I have a lot of overlapping symptoms with pelvic floor dysfunction as well; I'm wayy too embarrassed to get it checked out and I shit blood on occasion, I don't think it's fatal but I hope it is.

Imagine having enflamed veins in your asshole that gets worse with shitting and masturbation, makes you shit blood on and off and even makes your asshole leak mucus if it's really really bad, worst part? I got this when I was barely 18 years old.

Only thing I've found that's helped is pelvic floor exercises and taking SSRI's to kill sex drive so it gets somewhat better and stops it from getting worse.


0/10 tier experience. I feel robbed and jealous of people without chronic pain.

idk sry op it's a bit different for me.

basically when i'm depressed i'm very very irritable but otherwise lethargy dominates so i don't feel anxiety or shit.

i'm feeling pretty grounded near the baseline.

anxiety makes what feels like physical holes in my brain when i get above the baseline. idk if it's hypomania cuz i haven't been evaluated but that's how i label it cuz it feels kinda similar to the description of hypomania

oh now that i reread your post it seems your main question is about stress. well gee i don't know? i don't think it's manageable to be honest, cuz depression = brain doesn't work right and in that state you can't do meditation/self-check.

i think if you're really interesting in fixing this shit you should start getting your life back on track somehow. meditate on your complexes, figure out what makes you hates yourself and unless it's succubi just go for it idk. but if it's succubi i'm afraid some rope with some vodka is your way to go.

Are you sure your anxiousness isn't just a result of going stir crazy? How often do you do activities outside of the house?

>>304864
Part of me believes this post is reverse psychology to turn us into future mass shooters 🤔

>>305283
Yep - disregard the premise and manifest your own destiny. It might still suck but it will be your own.

>>304864
You should research and follow the people he's influenced by or sometimes str8 up plagiarizes instead.

You'll get a lot farther.

>>305242
he's a jew puppet; a proud jew puppet. honesty is not discoverable in that line of work. but he is knowledgeable of himself, enough that he works for the jew, so no excusing quarter is owed him.

I like that they turned the concept "if your peers dislike you at age 4, you are doomed for life" into a catchy beat

>>305651
80% of the wealth in the west is generated by like 20% of the working people. Covid shut down everything and we seen how few people society actually depends upon.

>>305655
If that's the case, that's terrifying. The government and oligarchs want nothing more than to min-max profits at any expense. If that means cutting out jobs, what are the 80% of the population who aren't productive to GDP are supposed to do? Starve on the street?

>>305084
My therapist claims most of the people she sees have nothing wrong with them and are just going through a breakup or something. She moves my appointments forward into their slots if she can.

The entire mental health and therapy and anti depressants thing is basically a meme. Normalfags eat tons of crap, work meaningless jobs and dont exercise and scroll reels all day and then they think they have le depression because they feel dissatisfied with it all. Dont take it too seriously.

>>305657
I genuinely think they are mentally deteriorating though. I notice it most especially with boomers since smart phones proliferated. They've really become like imageboard users in that they're dogmatic, argumentative and terminally online.

Like Grandma used to watch TV a lot when her health deteriorated. But even then it was just horse racing and dumb British soap operas. Now my mum is approaching the same age and she's got CNN blasting 24/7, ranting about trump, and thinks celebrities are talking to her on facebook.

>>305650
The retirement homes here suck up the pension + supported living payment and leave the people in them with $30 per week to themselves. I know this because my friend's mom with dementia recently got placed in one and my friend helped organize it. Supported living payment is like a form of welfare that's given to the poors because the pension and disability allowance can't cut it for most people. Supported living payment + pension is like 80% of what minimum wage is after tax at 40 hours a week.

If the system is strained with this amount of money being thrown at the problem, then when austerity comes they genuinely will have no choice but to euthanize them.

People also severely underestimate how bad the population problem here is now. Why do you think you see Indians everywhere? Because they need young bodies to keep the lights on.

>>305658
Those retirement homes are some of the biggest scams out there. My grandmother was extremely rich, but sadly also stupid and mentally ill. She probably lost a couple million USD during her 3 year stay in one. The inheritance was basically 10k for each sibling when she died. Happened when I was 8 or so, found out just recently. It's quite infuriating that we could have had a decent safer life with that money put into good investments.

>>305635
>>The 1st - "Physician, heal thyself!"
In spite of my overall poor situation in life, I still make efforts to improve things about myself here and there. I've been more mindful about what I eat and how active I am, and over the course of this previous year I've successfully lost just over 20lbs which feels nice. I've also been trying (somewhat unsuccessfully, sadly) to work meditation into my daily routine, which helps when I actually set aside my chronic escapism long enough to make the time for it. Unfortunately, these things don't really improve my life as much as I might like.

>>The 2nd - Clear goals and thinking.
I've certainly tried a lot of what you've said here about breaking down larger goals into smaller, more manageable pieces, the only problem for me is that each time I try to work towards something, my natural pessimism and ever-growing anhedonia rears its head and kills my motivation almost instantly. Also as I get older, I just don't know what to do with myself, I don't know where to even begin anymore. Unfortunately, I've never been successful in overcoming these challenges, and I'm not convinced that it's even really worth the effort since it seems to me like one wasted life (mine) wont matter much anyway in the grand scheme of things.

>>The 3rd - Things that are beyond our control.
I do try not to focus too much on things I can't control, but the primary issue with this is that while I can't change or effect the actions of the government, corporations, banks, etc. they sure-as-shit can effect me. When the company I work for chooses to withhold raises or change the standards of my workplace and the law says it's ok, I'm the one who has to adapt or find a new job. If my bills/rent go up, I'm the one who has to pack all my shit and move somewhere more affordable, while the property owners hardly suffer at all. If grocery prices where to skyrocket one day, I can't just stop eating until prices go down, I have to scrounge the money to pay for food or starve to death. I fully understand that these larger entities will always have more power than the individual, but it's getting ridiculous these days. As I stated before, it does seem like more people are becoming aware of what's going on, but we're still a long ways Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>305645
>>305646
I hesitate to make any suggestion, because your situation sounds quite volatile, but it seems to me as though you haven't got much to lose in making an attempt. My two cents: go for it, if you believe you can make it work. I was in a similar position years ago: lots of debt, no income, no degree. I chose to get the degree despite my situation, and haven't regretted it. If you do succeed in completing it, chances are it will pay for itself in the long run, and you might be surprised what kinds of doors it can open for you - not only in your chosen field, but also those mysterious positions that only require a degree, no matter what it's in. It does seem that AI is or will be taking over a lot of jobs, but considered from another angle, couldn't having more credentials rather strengthen your position in the coming years? This especially because some of these AI tools are being used to filter job applications, often based on keyword scanning, and so your application could be saved from the trash bin, or at least "signal boosted," by including mention of your degree. I also get a sense that perhaps you feel you are too old? If so, I don't think that is a significant barrier. I got my degree later in life, and I saw people attending the school who were even older than I was. The health conditions and other details of your specific situation, of course, I cannot speak to.

>>305652
I think I understand. You seem to be stronger than me in a lot of ways. I think I may just be better at self-deception. Congratulations on the weight loss: that is a great achievement. I believe you are capable of more great things. I can certainly relate to the desire to shout into the void from time to time, and to difficulties with emotional state changes. No doubt, this world can keep squeezing us, and kill us off whenever it likes. It hasn't become impossibly bad for me yet, for which I am grateful, although I have had some close calls. At a certain point, perhaps one would welcome the change. I wonder if you like to read history? I hated the subject when I was younger, but it has been growing on me the last few years. I find it comforting to think that many of these problemPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>305653
>You seem to be stronger than me in a lot of ways.
Perhaps, perhaps not. I like to think that each person has their own strengths and weaknesses.

>I wonder if you like to read history?
I do enjoy studying history on rare occasions. There's certainly a lot of good, bad, and morally gray to be found throughout history. From the art, mythology, and philosophies of ancient Greece, to the superstition, fear, and brutality of the Aztecs, history can shed light on the many various aspects of the human condition and the human psyche. One of my favorite figures (though this is likely a predictable and popular answer) is Napoleon Bonaparte. People often focus their attention his achievements as a brilliant military strategist (as warfare is so often viewed as the 'sexy' aspect of world history) but not always on his success as a statesmen, or the positive changes he made for France's economy and the welfare of the middle-class families in that time. A really impressive and fascinating man all around.

>I find it comforting to think that many of these problems occur in cycles. Perhaps you find this too fatalistic.
Not necessarily. The fact that human history is largely cyclical is a bit comforting to me as well, as the current 'low-point' we find ourselves in is indicated by historical patterns to most-likely turn around, sooner or later. My only real gripe with this cycle is that it's indicative of the inability of most humans to evolve beyond their baser instincts, thus repeating the same core mistakes like ignoring wickedness for the sake of personal gain or self-preservation. I really think that if the average person had better pattern-recognition, and placed more importance on things like truth, objectivity, and logic, then we wouldn't keep falling into the same traps and repeating the same mistakes. Where that to happen, civilization might actually start to enjoy some real growth in terms of intellectual and spiritual enlightenment, at which point there's no telling how far humans could go. Maybe some day, I can only hope.

I have $4 in my bank account :(

>>305672
Your $3.99 monthly account fee is due today