/dep/ - Depression

>>306514
Since this anon won't elaborate, could anyone else explain what he meant by wizards won?

Way I see it, male virgins are shitted upon more than ever.
How is that a victory?

>>306571
I assume he means that now that crab language and topics have become mainstream it also brought a lot about how fucked the world and society in general is to light.
Doomerism/crabism is mainstream, understanding of the worlds wrongs is as well.
Now you no longer need to be gaslit about obvious observations, or at least to a lesser extent. Just like how conspiracy theorists have been getting validated over and over lately.

I agree with you that for wizards specifically this hasn't been beneficial aside from the mental relief if you have been unsure if your "eyes betrayed you" before this.
I'd even argue we have it worse now in a sense as crabs are the mainstream version, we are now the marginalized of the marginalized as voluntary celibacy is viewed as a cope.
Not sure how to phrase it better.

I'd never admit to being a virgin at work for example because they immediately label you as a crab in their head.
Then you get associated with a lot of negative traits even if you don't have any of those.
I just don't care about such things nor do I ever see myself taking part, but to the common person this is still unbelievable.


In some ways, the veil was lifted for normies, so now "we" wizards and them both can see reality, observe and diagnose the issue.
The disconnect now is how normies have a different set of solutions for this.
So a new set of gaslighting and flagellation came to be with the many branches they, crabs/normies create as a cure they can try and sell others.
The gaslighting shifted from the diagnosis/problems to the cure/solutions of societies ailments.


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There is a certain kind of oversocialisation with normies I find particularly disgusting. When you enter a certain place with a certain purpose you are actually being evaluated on a set of arbitrary criteria which decides the outcome not the stated purpose. Like when you're in the hospital, your looks, politics, and psychology decides if you get good medical care or not, not whether you pay the bills or not. In the workplace the "social game" decides your pay, promotion, work conditions, not your capability, value to the company, or the rules of the labor-money transaction.
In the court laws don't matter, rather if you do some kind of symbolic gestures like speech, facial expressions, and logical fallacies, decides the outcome of the "legal" conflict.

>>306578
Can relate to the medical part.
It's like you look a certain way or of a certain social status and you get no treatment. Medical gaslighting is a very real thing too.

The crabdom being mainstream thing is mere posturing. Normies don't really give a shit about anything. It's just a way of "egyism" they desecreted like they've done with the rest of the memes/formats non-normies are accustumed to since they are unable of creating anything worthy of their own, which leads to losing its grace. It's a double-edged sword.

>>306559
>do wathever you want and love
>and love
this is a wrong site

>>306449
something wizards forged sometimes is that local christian communities (or other sects, but they're usually smaller) are the only accessible way to connect with other people. they help people process their emotions and suggest them their religious system of values. since the world is governed by nihilism, it doesn't really matter which system of values you adopt, but going along with your religious community gives you the benefit of having a community at no cost.

on the other side of the spectrum they will likely have you (or try to) volunteer for them. they don't actually demand you to believe, you can just larp and they'll take it well, but what you might be forgetting is that over the years larp becomes truth simply by the force of habit.

so joining a religious movement is the same as joining a gang, you get the benefits of a community backing you, but you have to sacrifice your own agency and serve that community.

what bugs me about these communities is that they're basically selling access to other human beings who might be able to help you. it's literally a business where instead of commodities, they produce and sell "help". naturally, actually helping you means they lose a customer, so they end up doing literally what big pharma is doing right now. they purposefully push your vulnerabilities to a status quo they can maintain for many years, probably forever.

i understand sometimes you can't escape the machine, but people, and especially wizards, who truly believe this shit is for their own good are plainly just low iq faggots who on the peak of our civilization couldn't figure out the most basic principles of business.

>>306569
>forged
forget

>>306569
Yeah there's a reason eastern religions emphasize fatalism and subservience more, because in old India you often had to grovel and be humiliated to survive. Accepting your low position and just engaging in mindless sycophancy is the way forward, and their religion promotes it. People make out Buddhism and Hindu faiths to be wholesome and good, but those born into a low station are implied heavily to have a more tainted soul.

I feel like very few succubi in these churches believe. Going by testimonies, they're more there for the sense of community, and old ladies fill the booths just to have someone to talk to. It's men that keep the faith more even if the community falls apart.

>>306576
I want all of the denizens of the churches to be assimilated because people who choose to be absorbed into the christ consciousness are life unworthy of life

You are life unworthy of life!

there's like a dozen threads on this topic already and none reached bump limit yet. but yeah thanks for blog posting for us it's nice to have something to read

>>306562
At least for this exact board I did not find anything while CTRL+'ng for keywords, but whatever

>>306568
oops. i guess those threads are kinda gone already. weird.

>>306545
Yeah to me too, it was a cope with a shit life.
I recall I jerked off all day when I was a NEET. Stressed by many things. Multiple 1.5-2+ hour sessions a day.
I'd do it till it hurt. I never viewed it as a bad thing, nor as an addiction. It was just my version of getting drunk/high I guess.
A fun way to timetravel. I might be somewhat of an outlier though.
Got the tism and abused as a kid in most meanings of the word so maybe that is the reason I had some twisted desires relating to violence and was already jerking it before I could even get hard or cum.
I don't necessarily hate that I did that. Honestly I'd say playing MOBAs and similar games for thousands of hours was much worse of an obsession.
I'm 30 now and only jerk off once a week or so, maybe less so it mellowed out for sure, but might just be because I'm an inch away from rock bottom.


I do have some significant regrets relating to gooning/porn.
Most of it currently is that the slope was indeed slippery and that hoarding became a mental burden.

Hoarding and being attached to tens of thousands of bookmarks, folders, files etc. is not healthy. It gives me anxiety that I haven't "saved" all those things yet and the ones I did save are unbrowsable unlike a booru or a doujin site.

Another thing that bothers me to be honest is something I was planning on making a /b/ thread about too. I'm not comfortable with the taste for loli stuff I developed or maybe always had.
Nothing 3D or anything like that, only drawings and mostly doujins, but it's already a point of shame for me, yet I'm still attached as I said in the hoarding part.

Makes me think that if I'm only 30 and already don't feel like jerking off that much, why do I torture myself over this attachment anyways? How many times will I need to jerk off in this lifetime anyways?
Do I need to risk having "questionable" in the eyes of normies stuff on my PC? Especially in this age of internet lockdowns and on-device surveillance?
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>>306573
Thank you a lot for this detailed post and yeah, i get a bit of what you mention with hoarding, i have my issues with saving too much 18+ stuff on my machine
>I agree with you OP. I'm also mentally unwell even without porn. It really isn't the cause.

For me quitting it won't change anything at all, at least not positively, my mental health will just shit itself, my addiction keeps my sanity to be honest, unless my life circumstances improve i won't even attempt to stop or modearee the consumption of porn

>>306072
Just drink a whole bottle of vodka in one go.
I know a guy that did that at a party as a challenge, then he went to bed and never woke up.

Please guys don't kill yourselves. You are capable of more than you imagine. Please at least give Jesus a chance in your lives.

>>306082
we don't serve false gods

Amerilards are so fucking lucky, imagine being able to just dome yourself whenever you feel like with a glock you got for free with your happy meal and chicken nuggies from McD's.

>>296511

I wonder if I wrote this back then, but probably not, life was sort of tolerable. Now it's back to being shit, hanging does seem like a solid method

>>306437
i can't because not only am i a failure of a man in the biological sense but in the material sense aswell aka a poor fag

>>306505
Only reason I haven't cut contact with the rest of the family as well.
I wouldn't make it on my own.
Not that I hate them, but I'd feel better by myself.

Being a loner is for the best, but being lonely is almost even worse. Damned if you do, damned if you don't, the only winning move is not to play. Might as well commit and move out in the middle of nowhere so social contact is not a factor.

>>306522
The idea is always more beautiful than the actual reality of being in the middle of nowhere.

Even an ultra-introvert like Unabomber couldn't take ir and you likely couldn't as well.

I tried for 18 months. It was shit.

The only reason to interact with people is the pursuit of a job or to reproduce. I don't need either of those things which makes the socializing game a completely useless waste of time and money.

I don't care if they'd care but they probably would, though I'm not suicidal, my life isn't too bad right now

But yeah if I had to wage slave it'd probably kill me, wage slavery is unnatural, ideally I'd own my piece of land where I could grow crops and live off the land, it requires little effort

>>305579
>my parents never cared about me yet they will lie and say they do care that i'm gone. fucking evil

I … understand. My parents were kinda from the same field: they would provide me cool material stuff, yet the emotional side of the parenting was not too good.

>>305829
my parents idea of "parenting" was to constantly inflict these petty torments. I was just thinking the last day how unthinkable it is for me to want to hug my mom. I've long cut off all contact. my life was like a game of running away from gross people

Yes. If I were convinced otherwise I doubt I'd stick around very long. I wouldn't do that to my family though. Or my cat.

Anyone have the opposite, where large portions of their family hate them so much that they'd be actually sniggering and happy at the funeral?

>>306382
you ar ethe awareness, not the dark clouds

Y'know I was really good at drawing wacky and absurd things as a kid, I really liked it before school started shoehorning me into doing boring shit on a time limit. The best I can do is this mentally impoverished crap.

I made a wizzard, he is sad, tired and strating to get older

>>306374
nice

I just got a $1 raise.
Funny because I literally spend 25% of the time at work taking a shit (I might have IBS). I guess my job really does have a worker shortage and they're afraid of people quitting. One quit just recently too.

>>306153
yeah I've heard about one story about a cop being denied promotion for "being too high iq"
the hierarchy isn't based on merit and they like to shove it in your face

when you have to hear that coworker who bitches about never having money babble on about the vacation they took

Dishwasher faggot from a few threads back here if anyone remembers me.

I got a job at a sheet metal-powder coating business, so far it's alright but I'm still so disgusted at working full time; it's suicidal inducing to just spend 40 hours a week staring at the decaying walls under the flouresent lights.


The pay's good, and the co-workers are older (youngest is 30) white guys; I just can't help but feel like I'm wasting my life and I have nothing to live for, like being in a waiting room for years or something.


Just a slow grinding decline into madness and bitterness.

Pic rel is a pic I took at work.

>>305095
the music they play alone…

>>306405
>even then your influence on them isn't that big.
Projection from someone with no willpower.

>>306414
willpower precedes consciousness, but you're not self conscious enough to see unfortunately

>>306393
>arts and crafts
sounds nice, wish I had something calming
>>306404
this is pure bullshit

You dont hope or yearn for meaning. You discard these things, and pursue what your heart desires without logical justifications for them. Its a principle from ego death, it's helped me in shedding the ego and embrace the self.

>>306426
That sucks. My heart urges me to smash a few skulls and I'm too much of a pussy to do so.

>>301659
IRL people are too judgemental. The consequences for acting like a sperg or violating social norms IRL are too high. I prefer the internet where the consequences for fucking up social interactions are minimal.

>>305336
Hey, anon.

I don’t see a problem with sharing my experience with my only friend and how I see this world.

My friendship with him started in September 2020. I was 17, and he was 19.

I met him on a Discord server after he sent a message saying, “Today feels like a day I could put a knife to my neck,” right in the middle of a chat full of dumb jokes about school and love. When I read that, I just replied:
“Hey man, if you want to talk, send me a message. Some feelings hit harder because everything is still too recent, and it’s hard to see things clearly when you’re desperate.”

After that, we started talking about the usual stuff — anime, games, music, and things like that.

Over the years, our contact slowly faded. In a month, we exchange maybe five to twenty messages. Just enough to know if the other one is still alive or doing okay. For most people, this would mean “the friendship is over,” because there’s no real conversation anymore. But I don’t believe that. Friendships don’t die just because they change. They die when both people stop caring that the other exists.

Right now, we talk maybe once every three months. We send long messages about how life’s been going. It’s our way of giving each other a bit of hope in this sad world. I actually like it. We grew up, and the friendship grew up too.

As for my relationship with people in general: when I was a kid, I avoided human contact — not because I was scared or something, but because I just wasn’t interested. Drawing, math, and books felt way more interesting. I was distant from my family back then, and I still am. Maybe bullying affected me more than I noticed at the time.
My psychiatrist told me I have schizotypal personality disorder, which makes my depression worse. It sounds kind of ironic, since I work with culture and events and I’m always busy — sleeping three or four hours a night and working until late.

Going back to being distant from my family: at some point, I started to see human connections in terms of what they’re for. Some people are just there to say “hi,” “good afternoon,” or “good night.” Others notice you, point things out about you, and make you think later. And a lot of people only show up to say weird things that make you uncomfortable. You can’t really avoid any of this — it’s all part of being human.Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

I feel like I'm too retarded to socialize online. Somehow it requires even more social awarness than IRL. At least IRL people try to act polite and you can gauge their mood a bit, but online it's a different story.
I always get laughed out every online space I participated in, even ones full of fellow socially awkward spergs.

>>306479
Yeah, and IRL it's not that easy to be a dick, where most of the time it's crowded.

this is a problem of mine too i want to stop lurking