/dep/ - Depression

whenever you're depressed or sad, come here and draw something using Oekaki. you can draw whatever you want

It's Saturday night and I started taking a new antidepressant called Mirtazapine (15mg) on Thursday night.

This is my 10th or so attempt at a psychiatric medication. I've tried lots of therapy too.

Wish me luck anonymages. I was about to quit my job but watched some motivational videos on autoplay on Youtube for hours and as cheesy as it was, they convinced me to give this a go.

I didn't even get these prescribed recently. It was way back last year and then I just didn't take them because this particular medicine has a reputation for making people really fatigued.

It does put me to sleep. But, maybe that's ok. If it means I can find some happening apart from fapping and dreaming while I sleep.

Maybe it'll even help me turnaround my fortunes at work where it looks like I'm sliding towards a firing or just being unable to come in. Barely stopped myself raging at my boss the other day and took 2 weeks sick leave from stress afterwards. I need to swallow some humble pie come Monday and hopefully these pills help. Being off work for 2 weeks showed me I'm just as miserable and actually more so depressed, anxious and stressed not working despite all the antiwork slogans I collect.

Another Evil under the Sun Edition. You of many.

Previous: >>308343

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Does anyone else voluntarily exile themselves from society?

I'm tired of socializing, drama, human interests, social demands, social everything.

I wish I was a machine instead of a talking ape. I actually hate being an animal.
I don't even hate people, I just don't want to be in any contact with them. I even hate my own body for forcing me to eat and wash in order to not completely dysfunction.

Does anyone here struggle with alcohol, or have managed to quit?

It used to be a good coping mechanism for me, but it seems the older I've gotten the worse it feels, and it's become detrimental to my health and the way I behave around people. Easily annoyed, constantly starting shit, tired all the time, strange pains. And I was still getting worse, fast.

This has been a wake-up call and I'm realizing I need to quit before it's too late. Though that's easy for me to say now when I'm still feeling bad, and I fear the cravings will come back strong, but I know I've got to try.

Curious to hear others experience with this.

I try and try like I really do to be a wizard but unfortunately keep heading into becoming a crab. As someone who can't afford to NEET and will just die on the side of the street if I do so, I have to unfortunately go out into the real world and try to get a job and maintain a "social life".

And that is the worst part about it, I simply don't get it, a friend of mine wanted to meet another friend and he wanted me to go to club with me, now why did I agree? Because I wanted a referral for a job. Apart from that clubs in my country are horrendous for sub-3 men like me because they don't let people like me enter because of "dress code" when in reality you look ugly, short, singly, and the whole nine yards.

I got a referral so that's a good thing if it materialises into a job. But what I saw in club is not something that I have not known but to see it happen it still caught me like a deer in the headlights, basically I knew that this friend of friend is going to be a piece of shit because he is a club-goer.

But when I saw him literally just go up to a bitch and started making out with her continuously then going to the toiled and then coming back, and then actually showing me his Instagram and Snapchat about fucking a succubus 5 times one day, and fucking 10 different succubi in 10 days and sharing nudes on Telegram by starting out with the message "New Pussy around my Dick.".

God bless him for giving me the referral which probably won't materialise into a job but for some reason I wish I never met him, I saw a weird kind of primal expression on the faces of succubi, the man was 6'4 and had a chiseled face. And when I came back home I swear to god, I couldn't drive the car straight. Like I was about to crash 3 times, not because I was driving fast, but I was so pissed and my mind was just thinking about like what the fuck? I had to struggle for every single ounce of thing in life, and there are guys like this who just do what? Fucking exist?

Honestly, at that point years of thinking "I am never going to think about cunts" and months of trying to be a fucking monk only to enter a state of ragebait, I swear to god, when I returned in the night I was awake for a total of 48 hours just raging like a mad man and screaming into the damn mattress. Like what the fuck? How in the blue hell is it so easy for these kind of people? And this guy has cheated on every single cunt who was his GF. And has fucked over 40 succubi litePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

i keep wondering if all fiction could be unhealthy for the brain. human life is so short, a day has so few hours. how can you take one or more of these hours and flee to a place that doesn't exist and disconnect from your own reality.

places that don't exist have begun to repell me. my own reality has so many projects i would like to attend to that i feel gridlocked by not knowing what to do first. desire for fiction might be nothing but pure idleness.

i assume i understand the impulse, though i could be mistaken. when i was a child and were forced to attend child prison (school), the idea of no longer being able to explore the world at my own pace and instead had to spend time with the violent conformist was completely depressing. have them judge my intelligence based on how hard i could force myself to care what they thought was important in their desperate attempt to turn me into a mindless soldier and stomp all my dreams and interests in the process.

i'd flee into video games and at least videogames are interactive. in a video game i can make decisions, in school i was but an inmate without agency. but in a movie about a super hero, there is no interaction, the poor fool who watches this is but the passive recipient of centralized propaganda. i don't see how someone would accept this premise and spend time on this.

Does anyone else hate his own body? I hate mine so much, I feel uncomfortable in my own body the whole time, it doesn't matter what I'm doing, I feel dirty, sick, detqched from my body. I want to get out of my body.

Sometimes I wish went to the mental hospital. Maybe things would’ve turned out differently. Maybe.

The Time God does not forget nor forgive edition. You will do this again.

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