/dep/ - Depression

if only killing yourself would be easy. If only no one cared for me, if only I cared for no one. If only I didn't make nobody sad if I killed myself. I wish suicide did not arm anyone who cares for me, if only killing myself was releasing of the soul. The chains tied to this earth are linked to the people I don't want them to be sad because of my death. if it was this easy…I'd do it anytime soon, but halas, it's a painful and selfish act

Hi guys, I have a question for the people more involved with the so-called self harm community. Since posting about self harm here and there recently, I've learned a little more. I've heard people talk about 'cute/nice looking scars' and that got me thinking, since im gonna have these scars forever anyway, i would at least want them to not look hideous. Where can i find these communities to ask questions about how to take care of these wounds to have nice looking scars? Or even find what kind of scars there are? Most places dont get into that stuff cuz it's sort of 'chronically online' so i don't know where to find info like this. So if any of you have any answers or perhaps recommendations of places/forums/servers/websites/whatever where i can find aaall sorts of self harm related info (good and bad) please do let me know! thank youu

I'm not doing great in life. Living and confronting life is hard for me. I'm weak. Life will crush on me one day, I don't have the strength to live and fight for my life. The more time passes the more I want to kill myself or I won't make it into life. Life's hard, living is not easy. I don't have will to live. depression is like a black hole, it's very strong and trap will to live wihch is like life is being suck out of me by the black hole depression. At this point and the point of this thread is to share this and to relate to other wizards who feel or live the same way as I. I just want to relate…just this time.

This is the classic "Suicide General", where we discuss methods and say farewell to our fellow wizards.

Previous:
>>296511

Let's talk a bit about anterior hanging.
In theory, placing the knot under your chin should make it less painful since instead of restricting air from reaching your lungs and crushing your windpipe it's stopping bloodflow from reaching your brain instead.
This is why in martial art most people choose tap out when they are being air choked while those that are put into blood choke are able to endure until they pass out.
This thread is made solely for educational purposes. If you're suicidal, please contact your therapy.

Starting a new anti-suicide general as the original has been bump-locked.

Helping wizards to understand that persuasive feelings of suicide can be bested.

Further the discursive spirit of this thread will remain the same as the first: to counter the general luring tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads through sharing positive practical advice purposed to reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.

(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care (many have already done this, to no worthwhile avail)
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain. Delimiting ingestion of both is wise.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open whichever windows punctuate your room and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.

I've done my part. Anyone else?

If you are hopelessly depressed and lonesome, you simply need a mu-opioid agonist to rectify this state of affairs and make you feel connected and whole.

Opioids are literally the chemical of social attachment, and this becomes evident shortly after you take one.

Obviously do not abuse them and take them at the lowest effective dose, and you can be like me and treat your depression for years without trouble.

Has anybody else here had experience with them?

It's Saturday night and I started taking a new antidepressant called Mirtazapine (15mg) on Thursday night.

This is my 10th or so attempt at a psychiatric medication. I've tried lots of therapy too.

Wish me luck anonymages. I was about to quit my job but watched some motivational videos on autoplay on Youtube for hours and as cheesy as it was, they convinced me to give this a go.

I didn't even get these prescribed recently. It was way back last year and then I just didn't take them because this particular medicine has a reputation for making people really fatigued.

It does put me to sleep. But, maybe that's ok. If it means I can find some happening apart from fapping and dreaming while I sleep.

Maybe it'll even help me turnaround my fortunes at work where it looks like I'm sliding towards a firing or just being unable to come in. Barely stopped myself raging at my boss the other day and took 2 weeks sick leave from stress afterwards. I need to swallow some humble pie come Monday and hopefully these pills help. Being off work for 2 weeks showed me I'm just as miserable and actually more so depressed, anxious and stressed not working despite all the antiwork slogans I collect.

Lookism has become a public, popular topic lately on the internet and I believe that it affects wizards in very tangible ways.
Being a genetic dead end ugly loser myself I suffer for it even as a now "middle aged" man.
One would think such things are left behind in high school or something, but no.

You queue up for a service, government office for some paperwork, a cash register at a store, post office or hell even medical services.
You can tell the people before you were treated kindly. At worst processed in a neutral way.
Some even receive a cheerful response and the help they need, people go above and beyond for some.
Then it's your turn at the line.

A look of disdain follows immediately. Quiet. No "what can I help do for you" "what can I help you with" "what is the purpose of your visit".
Silence. Faces contort…
Sometimes a sigh, sometimes some snide remark. Clear hostility.

A shift in demeanor so noticeable, so obvious, so visceral… (yet to them likely natural) that even the thickest of autism wont help you stay oblivious to it.
You get mistreated, worse service, denied service you paid for, medical gaslighting, humiliation over and over again.
Networking is impossible for you, who by your mere acquaintance devalue their status.. and without connections, being treated like this, only having the "official route" as an option you soon realize you might not be able to get anything done.

After much pushing, repeated humiliations and humbling yourself, matching your demeanor to that expected of "your ilk" some old lady at the register might take pity and process your request, prescribe your medication, refer you to a proper doctor.
Sometimes the stars do align like that and you make a step towards a slightly less miserable state of being.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

I feel like the last few years have passed so quickly, every day I spend alone, isolated, but it's okay, every problem I face, fatigue, failure, sadness, and so on, I've been through every day, but hey, I'm still here until now and it seems like I've made peace with my mental problems, maybe I'm used to facing it alone without the help of others, I feel like depression is part of my routine and part of my personality, but I'm happy