[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]

/dep/ - Depression

Password (For file deletion.)

  [Go to bottom]  [Catalog]  [Reload]  [Archive]

File: 1566204302576.jpg (3.7 MB, 3200x4000, 4:5, Fyodor Dostoevsky.jpg) ImgOps iqdb


Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.

26 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


yeah yeah everyone is suicidal nowadays, we get it already


File: 1566271040596-0.png (346.14 KB, 510x572, 255:286, oie_KCxUzhT4je4h.png) ImgOps iqdb


Bored and restless with no ability to concentrate on anything. Why the fuck am I even alive in this state? What good does it do anyone?


to motivate you to find something else meaningful like getting a girlffriend


I love this movie and this scene.


Feeling hopeful, grateful or guilty about something? Share it here, everyday if you want to.

You're encouraged to bring up your own older posts when the feeling calls for it.


Atheist wizard.

Today I am feeling grateful for: having a small room for myself even if it is rented; having my wagecuck job which I actually need; for my 99th attempt at staying clean and sober (day one, again); and for being alive and free from authorities despite illnesses and wrongs done.

I am feeling guilty right now about having used and pubicly humilliated myself two days ago. I could have died, gotten myself killed, killed someone or be in jail. I am still feeling paranoid in case some co-worker saw me because I don't remember shit from that night. I feel guilty about having destroyed my family, even though I hate admitting it.

I am feeling hope that things are slightly improving day by day. Despite the odds against me I keep trying hard.


Today I am feeling grateful for having a smooth wagecuck job. Could afford myself some nice lunch and almost got enough stomach to eat it all. I am conciously not trying to be a prick. Clean and sober day número 2, 99th attempt.

Today I am feeling very guilty about my past. I always remember I am two seconds away from being myself and ending up in a risk situation where I can harm, get harmed, get the police truck or loony ambulance; or all at the same time.

But I am pulling my shit together second by second.

Sleeping has been hard lately, it's because of the stronger episode, elaborating on that another day.


I continue to live only to spite those that I know and hate. I went to the memorial service of a classmate in high school that was a complete cunt normalfag stoner. The guy spent his years after school miserable and alone until he couldn’t take it anymore and killed himself. I was there at his memorial, having snacks and connecting with old classmates, learning that they were in student debt and hadn’t graduated college while I am debt free and at that point was about to graduate from college (and I did, with honors.)

It’s going to be fun watching all the retards from my generation sink down into the muck while I coast along, uninvolved in the damned usury that dragged them down and without a worry for this god damned illusion of a world.


you sound like a sack of shit


File: 1563192438829.png (8.15 KB, 685x689, 685:689, 30 .png) ImgOps iqdb


How many of you are actual wizards?

How are you coping with regrets? I'd thought they'd subside by 30 but they've just gotten worse.
76 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


I'm 18 but mentally I think I'm 30


>wizchan in a nutshell


Literally everyone besides normalfags*


You're a semi-wizard


I thought the term was demi-wizard or wizkid.

File: 1563307562975.gif (590.86 KB, 500x210, 50:21, rtidjei.gif) ImgOps iqdb

 No.204136[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

searching for a way out edition

previous >>200881
186 posts and 19 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


It's not crazy to think that most Boomers will end up homeless, they got their money by chance. No hard work, no intelligence, just luck of the post war period.
Them losing it is logical.


this a great fantasy to daydream about, i hope it comes true.


that, and they're getting old, and their kids hate them


Ever have those times where something really puts a dent in your wallet for a huge chunk of money you saved for over a months work of min wage slavery and the little motivation you had to work goes down the toilet? Being a part time retail monkey I barely have the energy for as it is went from bad to "nauseating marry go round" experience bad. I wanna quit but I know it'll be worse since I don't have that huge cushion to fall back on and as I just experienced it can all be gone in a second.


Are there any jobs with either better hours or better money in your area? Normgroid tier advice, i know, but it may be worth looking for another.

I know the feeling, though

[Last 50 Posts]

File: 1564505816310.gif (197.42 KB, 400x289, 400:289, spongebob every day is the….gif) ImgOps iqdb


I kept wondering how come I have these frequent moments where I feel like I woke up from a slumber and wonder how I could have let myself go so badly. Then I get the motivation to improve myself but soon I go back to my routine until the next "wake up" moment in a few months. How come all this time in all these years I didn't manage to improve my life even a bit? It has been like 9 years by now. More than enough time to improve yourself. It's quite shocking.

But now I realize why. Because I just don't have the discomfort tolerance for any kind of change. With some motivation I might start exercising but then comes a day where I just feel like I have no strength to go out so I stop the exercises for a day. Then for the next day. And the next. And quickly I forgot I've been exercising at all and go back to doing nothing. And same thing happens with any positive change I try to start like eating healthy, learning a language, reading, not spending so much time online…

Do I just need to keep at it? People keep saying that it gets easier but I haven't made this experience. Or do I just accept that this is who I am? A weak willed spineless worm?
45 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


Classic failed normie mentality.

My life is not as great as I hope it would be so I'll pretend it is by complaining about it to people with worse life.


I suspect you really are quite stupid.

Unable to see the general principle at work. There is nothing I can tell you. What is there to reply to? If I take your post, remove the insults and the anecdotal evidence that only applies to one case (mine). There is nothing. Nothing left. Think about it.


Yeah the great sublime principle that people claim their success are due to their luck that only other genius like you can realize. What a fucking failed normie. You worked hard, failed, then think you have achieved some deep insight into how the world works, then you come to this site to share it to other people so they can marvel at your brilliance and life experience. But someone insulted you and you can't take it. So you write this post dismissing him as stupid. You are quite similar to the people you envied you know. Maybe that means you can be successful like them too!


>You worked hard, failed, then think you have achieved some deep insight into how the world works, then you come to this site to share it to other people so they can marvel at your brilliance and life experience.
Not really, no. The thing is, lots of the self-improvement junkies always have the same lines. "Oh you think hard work doesn't work? Have you tried? No?! Then shut the fuck up!".

And quite often this is where the discussion ends. The lesson taken here is that wizards, losers, neets, whatever don't want to work hard and that's what makes them what they are. Hence they are at fault. Hence they are to be ridiculed, insulted and generally it's all their fucking fault.

Well I came here to provide a counter-example.

>But someone insulted you and you can't take it.

What makes you think I can not take it?


I've done several things related to improvement (exercise, programming, and language learning) for years but if you were to ask me if I felt any different than I did years ago when I was a weak teenager severely addicted to multiplayer video games the answer would be 'no'. I made goals for myself and working towards them was enjoyable at first, because they opened up a whole landscape of novel things (untranslated material, ability to customize computers, etc) but as time went on the 'high' I got from these things and the novelty wore off. I don't get excited like I used to when finding new things to read or looking into new things to program. It's just become a kind of habit at this point.

I don't have advice for actually making the first steps to self-improvement or working towards goals, but what I would advise is that you don't place too much hope and expectations on them, thinking that once you've done something everything in your life is just going to be great and stay that way. Even if you could achieve all your goals tomorrow I think the happiness from that would wear off and you'd be back to looking for higher peaks to climb within the next few weeks.

Not saying that doing things to improve is a waste, of course; it's better than doing nothing or wallowing in self-pity. But just realize that you'll probably be struggling to maintain your feel-good levels for the rest of your life, and I don't know that there's a way out of that which isn't extreme.

File: 1563689090112.jpg (74.16 KB, 1300x953, 1300:953, checklist.jpg) ImgOps iqdb


Does anyone else treat what should be entertainment like a job?

Whenever I play a game or watch a tv show or a movie, even when I enjoy it, I feel like it's a duty and I can't focus on anything else before I completed my backlog. I have this naive thought that I will start being productive once I ran out of games to play and movies to watch. It's like I'm afraid that I will miss out on something important. That some piece of entertainment might somehow offer a life changing experience.

Anyone can relate and theorize idea why that is?
18 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


well the alternative is staring at a wall


The thing that makes video games (and hobbies in general) fun is the contrast to something you don't want to be doing but have to do. You come from school/work and you play some games. You transition from something you don't like to something you do like.

But what if video games were the only thing you do. I believe this applies mostly to hikkies and NEETs, but you do get my point?

There are no activities that are actually fun. There are only activities you like doing and the ones you don't.



I actually have a job as a dishwasher but it's still not fun. I just get really bored and feel like it's a bunch of meaningless checklists I have to complete for no reward. Whenever I try to play a game or watch TV I get a very strong urge to stop and do something else. Your asking someone who rarely drinks why he isn't an alcoholic, its just not fun to drink for him, his brain is rewired differently.

I don't play video games or watch much TV anymore these days anyway, despite having a job I sleep 14+ hours a day, the rare chance I'm not super tired I just browse YouTube, or pace around my room and think about stuff.


yes exactly this
I cannot do it anymore because it jsut feels like chores
on a good day I can play video games for 2 hours straight or watcha movie in one run


Never have related to anything on the internet as much as this. I keep track of every movie/show/anime i've watched. I feel guilty whenever I rewatch something, I feel like I'm wasting time by not watching something new. The worst part about all of this is that we will constantly be playing catch up.

File: 1556484061029.gif (94.46 KB, 367x506, 367:506, Plainsimplegarak.gif) ImgOps iqdb


How did you or your parents ruined your life? What did cause your transformation to wizard?
64 posts and 7 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


My dad constantly shit on me and said I'd never amount to anything regardless of how hard I tried. He'd always criticize me constantly to the point that I'd give up before even trying since I just didn't want to hear his criticisms. My mom is an enabling doormat who is as passive-aggressive as it gets and will always act as a snotty contrarian even when she doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about.

Also shit genes, no money, no looks from their genetic dead-end material made me the quintessential loser I am now.


My parents basically ensured that I wouldn't have a normal upbringing, when I was in 2nd grade right before the 2008 crash my parents thought it was a good idea to move to Hawaii, I went from having friends and a community around me to being a complete outcast. I was bullied relentlessly by native hawaiians for being white, something that redpilled me on race at a very young age. Because my family was fucking broke we moved all around the country spending my dead granpas stock money that they had inherited, I think I never stayed in one house for more than a year for like 8 years. One of the houses we stayed at my "room" which was just an open area of the bottom floor of the house would flood whenever it rained and little worms would embed themselves on the floor. On top of that my mom has severe bi polar disorder and would often explode on me for little things that I didn't even mean to do and my dad was completely pussy whipped and was wageslaved to the max, he practically barely knows me. All of this is probably the root of my extreme attachment issues but I'm sure my mom giving birth to me in her late 30s didnt help either.


>2nd grade right before the 2008 crash



Why did you move to Hawaii? Bipolar impulsivity? Fear mongered by the crash?


File: 1566206822191-0.jpg (605.1 KB, 1249x1079, 1249:1079, Newly Wed and Dead Lovers.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>How did you or your parents ruin your life?
It's a difficult thing to talk about, I think; I was the only child, raised by a single mother, despite her obvious narcissistic and exploitative tendencies she cared for me, in a tough love sort of way, but I'm sure she believed this approach works best since she herself was raised this way. She'd spur me to do my best in school, plan my life for me, forcefully "guide" me towards what I should be interested in so I could secure a decent job later on in life etc. I rarely objected, and when I did it was in passive form: writing a diary entry or a poem chock-full of obscene words and curses aimed at myself, life, my brain and body and my mother, followed by its inevitable discovery by her, an awkward talk and heavy guilt-tripping. As a result I became neurotic, perfectionist, maximalist and spineless, not to mention the negative traits I "inherited" from her and my father. Upon receiving a B- or C+ on a test I would entertain thoughts of suicide and write suicide notes, one time I broke into tears and stabbed myself in the forearm with a pair of compasses in class; the latter happened in 6th or 5th grade, I think, but the general trend was set back 4th grade.
Like I said, I can't blame her, furthermore, I'd go as far as to say I'm somewhat thankful. If it hadn't been for her control and push I would have achieved nothing: I've always lacked clear, personal life directions and interests. If it hadn't been for her, I would have went downhill and ended up simply pointlessly existing much, much earlier in life.

>What caused your transformation to a wizard?

One life-changing wank.
I was around fourteen years old when I noticed a funny correlation: thoughts about succubi and starting a family would grow more intense the longer I didn't masturbate and disappeared immediately the moment I'd ejaculate. This and so much more dawned on me after a single wank I had while taking a bath sometime around that age, a wizardly "Eureka moment", if you will.
Obviously there were more factors that contributed to me rejecting relationships, like that one book with Medieval and Renaissance art I had that had one too many vanitas paintings.

File: 1549766332910.jpg (82.16 KB, 900x1200, 3:4, gin_bom2.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.195881[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Who else drinking tonight by himself?

Drinking this fucker straight. 47% ABV. Toss in benzos and a weak opiate.
101 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


>mumbai sapphire
does it have poo in it?


File: 1566104792873.png (249.56 KB, 360x594, 20:33, 1559255267394.png) ImgOps iqdb

Get it? Because it's a popular 4chan joke to call Indians poo in loo.


File: 1566156197231.png (125.66 KB, 313x500, 313:500, georgivodka.png) ImgOps iqdb

I get one(sometimes two)of these a week. I can always see the Korean clerk smirking when he rings it up.


seriously? how do they shit in it? bottle have a pretty tiny hole, do they put it by hand?


[Last 50 Posts]

File: 1558878640125.jpg (247.63 KB, 2560x1440, 16:9, 1550384534717.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.201553[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

The last suicide thread has hit the bump limit.
Previous thread:
173 posts and 20 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


I won't ever kill myself. I will talk about suicide and nihilistic(look it up) ideas for the rest of my life though and talk about it inappropriately in other places.


Places such as?


>I'll kill myself at some point, it's just a matter of when I get 100% motivated to do so.


I wonder why the knowledge that I can always kill myself if I fuck up my life too badly doesn't give me more confidence to do things. Oh well, not doing things is fucking my life up pretty bad but thankfully there's a solution to that…


>fuck up
you cannot fuck up if you walk into a snowstorm on a mountain forest and undress your coat
some booze to numb the feels and overnight you are done

[Last 50 Posts]

File: 1559142799984.jpg (125.06 KB, 852x480, 71:40, man_with_noose.jpg) ImgOps iqdb


Anyone here legit have brain damage?

I've never got a brain scan to confirm it, but I'm 99 percent sure I do. 10 years ago when I was 16 I was beaten really badly by a white knight. He hit me with a punch off guard and stomped on my head repeatedly. I was able to get up and go home and never saw a doctor, but I was never the same since that day.

I began stuttering even though I never did before that day, my grades tanked, my thinking became scattered, I became less coordinated, I forget words, even common words, very easily, and my typing speed tanked. I remember my goal used to be to be able to consistently type at 100 wpm and I did those online things to test it and I went from consistently being in the 80-90 wpm range all the way down to 35-40. I also remember literally nothing that happened before middle school, but who knows if that's related.

I think about getting a brain scan to confirm my suspicions but I know nothing can be done about it if that's the case, so why bother. Part of my likes to cling to hope that I just have some sort of mental block that I'll magically snap out of.
33 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


IQ tests are actually a bunch of different tests that are added up together to determine your score. Most people are worse at some tests and better at other tests than their IQ would suggest. So depending on what you are doing you could indeed be well below average for that specific catagory.


really sorry op, that's actually fucked up.

I wanted to tell you that pretty much every mental illness can cause the symptoms you listed. something as simple as insomnia can cause you to stutter, forget words, slur them, etc. but with that it symptoms would come and go and not be constant.

i don't know if you have brain damage from the incident or not but its an indication of how hard it is to know without a proper diagnosis.


I second this


Depression, memory loss, brain fog, I'm sure I have all sorts of brain damage but am too apathetic to even care.


vitamin D3 & B12.

  [Go to top]   [Catalog]
Delete Post [ ]
Previous [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]