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File: 1748948900871.png (184.65 KB, 480x360, 4:3, 1746057372652.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.301013[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Chronic physical pain, insomnia and povery, edition
Previous thread >>299661
208 posts and 42 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.301585

>>301584
>I would have dreams about food taking anthropomorphic shapes and speaking to me
Looney Tunes

 No.301586

>>301584
What did the food say

 No.301587

>>301584
I tried water fasting (for discipline though) too and I had a similar dream man. I dreamt of eating everything in my fridge but the food begged me to stop because I will break my fast.

 No.301591

>>301518
You're describing well what I'm going through right now. I made the Wellbutrin thread. I'm convinced that this is better what I had before but I realise that this doesn't change or improve the situation, you just get used to it more. Real change of circumstances would be necessary for real internal change, but I really don't know what to do other than keeping what I got.

 No.301592

I live in a constant state of dissociation. Not sure how to stop at this point.


[Last 50 Posts]

 No.301040[Reply]

Hey, it's me your resident disgusting nonhuman junkie Benzo spammer. I finally ran out of all ways to get money and I don't even have energy left to try scamming people so it's finally over. I would like to mention I had other reasons to self destruct, like countless debts, mentally ill family, no room to live in, endless diseases eg broken stomach hurts I can't eat and it feels like my spine broke and I'm so weak I'm dying from a walk. Apparently once I ran out of pills I'll have endless months of seizures and psychosis and might jump out of random windows after losing contact with reality.
10 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.301419

>>301418
how old are you?

Sorry for your misfortune,hoping your pain ends soon

 No.301424

>>301419
29. I'm an old man but mentally not past twelve. Never been this scared in my life and now I need to kill myself using a train. My mind is fucked up and I'm constantly breaking.

 No.301588

Finally it's over
Some guy will press criminal charges on me tomorrow
I can't deal with police or prison
I'm leaving the house and trying CTB by train hopefully
Attention whore out

 No.301589

>>301588
Godspeed

 No.301590

>>301588
>Some guy will press criminal charges on me tomorrow
What have you done?



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 No.301574[Reply]

i put a plastic bag on my head and tied it on my neck hoping to die of suffocation after getting unconscious within a few minutes but i ditched after like 1,5 minutes cuz i was terrified of the hyperventilation, high heartbeat and general weird feeling (+ i suspected my mom to come back home, so i was afraid she would hear it since gagging, gasping, heavy breathing, convulsive noises, struggling, collapsing, or seizures whilist can cause noise)

i dont wanna play this game anymore, its so fucked up - with death comes a non-existent consciousness yet i dont have the balls to do it.

anon, what to do in this state?

 No.301575

shoot yourself, since youre american, just go to range shooting a when no ones watching shoot yourself

 No.301577

>what to do in this state?
Go outside. Get a hobby.

>>301575
You're accusing OP of being American despite the fact that OP is clearly using European decimal format.. maybe you should do shot you're self

 No.301582

If you could receive euthanasia peacefully you wouldn't be terrified of dying



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 No.301528[Reply]

Confession thread. Confess your sins to fellow wizards. A sorrow shared is a sorrow doubled, but maybe that's ok.

Confession can help us heal from depression. Through confession, the individual takes responsibility for the state of his life, concentrating on what he has done, not what has been done to him.

Christ’s own words to the apostles: “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained” (John 20:23), which the Church understands as the institution of the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the granting of authority to forgive sins in His name.

Forgiveness is also essential of one another: “If you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15). A heart hardened against others cannot receive mercy.
8 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.301564

i used to swear a lot when younger

 No.301565

I have posted soyjacks/derivatives several times.

 No.301569

>>301528
I have been using Facebook a lot lately at first it was to use Marketplace but sharing normie-tier memes with peers helps socializing.

I also feel guilty of using Gemini AI for completing a homework assignment.

 No.301570

>>301553
This made me laugh

 No.301581

Apparently I took it too far by posting a scary AI chicken video on /b/.

So what should I get Satan? A sacrificial goat or a portrait of Trump?



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 No.296810[Reply]

Does any of you get irritated with family gatherings or when guests come to visit you in your family's house?
I am 24 years old, little to not school education, no job, whenever I am with some relatives or in some family gathering I can sense how much they look down at me for being a massive loser, even if they almost never express it directly at all, since I was a child I would always be asked by them questions like "how are you doing in school?" or "are you getting any good grades" Of course they no longer ask me such question, But I still feel a lot of shame when I am around them, I try to avoid sitting with them like the plague
83 posts and 14 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.299806

Beware the man who was always told by others he was a useless loser, for he will act in anger to prove them wrong.

 No.299820

>>298758
What about 25
26
27?

 No.300185

>>299806
Why are you trying so fucking hard to sound british?
And no , it isn't true he acts out of anger , most of the the time he will remain a loser and doesn't seem to take it personally because who gives a fuck about people's opinion?
We all die whether we fail or succeed.
Seethe & cope .

 No.301149

>>300185
there's nothing british about that
it's just high register

 No.301580

>>299323
For not replying to >>299326 I can tell you're a real one.



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 No.299042[Reply]

"Why break the seals of mute despair unbidden
And wail life's discords into careless ears?

If any cares for the weak words here written,
It must be someone desolate, fate-smitten,
Whose faith and hope are dead, and who would die."
https://archive.org/details/cityofdreadfulni00thomrich/page/1/mode/1up
4 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.299849

Thanks Wiz

 No.299874

>>299849
A wizard should know Bysshe Vanolis

 No.301561

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"Whence come you in the world of life and light
to this our City of Tremendous Night?"

 No.301562

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"I wake from daydreams to this real night."

 No.301576

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"For their woe broods maddening inwardly"



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 No.301262[Reply]

It's Saturday night and I started taking a new antidepressant called Mirtazapine (15mg) on Thursday night.

This is my 10th or so attempt at a psychiatric medication. I've tried lots of therapy too.

Wish me luck anonymages. I was about to quit my job but watched some motivational videos on autoplay on Youtube for hours and as cheesy as it was, they convinced me to give this a go.

I didn't even get these prescribed recently. It was way back last year and then I just didn't take them because this particular medicine has a reputation for making people really fatigued.

It does put me to sleep. But, maybe that's ok. If it means I can find some happening apart from fapping and dreaming while I sleep.

Maybe it'll even help me turnaround my fortunes at work where it looks like I'm sliding towards a firing or just being unable to come in. Barely stopped myself raging at my boss the other day and took 2 weeks sick leave from stress afterwards. I need to swallow some humble pie come Monday and hopefully these pills help. Being off work for 2 weeks showed me I'm just as miserable and actually more so depressed, anxious and stressed not working despite all the antiwork slogans I collect.
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.301499

Ive tried so many medications from antidepressants to anti-psychotics, all that shit fried my brain even more and made things much worse, I'm not trying or taking anything ever.

 No.301566

Just like every other time everyone warned me something would be a bad idea, this was a bad idea thinking I could live with my partners

My mum is still a domestically violent aggressive psycho. Guess I got to figure out a place to live asap while figuring out the mental health and trying to keep this stupid job.

>>301499
That stuff doesn't have lasting effects if you stop tho. Unless you stop abruptly without tapering down, then you can get brain zaps

 No.301567

>>301566
>That stuff doesn't have lasting effects
sexual dysfunction, dystonia, akathisia, tardive dyskinesia, gastroparesis, rebound psychosis, dementia, tinnitus, diabetes, PR prolongation, cancer…all of this for literally a placebo/lobotomy effect, psychiatrists are INSANE

 No.301571

I have been forced to take a sum of six antipsychotics and antidepressants since childhood. I think it has given me slight mental retardation.

 No.301572

>>301571
You were poisoned as a child and those who poisoned you need to be killed. As a man, nobody can force you to do anything, so stop taking their poison.



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 No.301446[Reply]

Living with my mom. My mom just zaps all the life-energy out of me.

Do ou know this feeling?
10 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.301480

Since my mom retired there is like 100 times more stuff to do for her around the house than compared to when she was working. She is always somewhere around the house, but not in her room.

 No.301525

File: 1751101506679.jpeg (37.97 KB, 800x420, 40:21, kot heater.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

Got all my energy zapped again, its gone, need to get my own place

 No.301527

I described the feeling to myself as if you are building a giant house of cards, and it looks pretty amazing, and then someone slams the door open, screems "DINNER!" in your face, doesn't see the house of cards, but a messy room with cards lying around everywhere.

Tomorrow you will start building that house of cards again, and the same thing will happen, and so on.

 No.301529

>>301525
I say this for years, never happens, part of the reason my mother zapps the energy out of me and I am unable to do anything. Don't even want to go to toilet anymore because she is there. She is one like those Resident Evil chracters that stalk the hallway forever.

 No.301549

File: 1751128608084.gif (320.56 KB, 225x169, 225:169, for-ev-er.gif) ImgOps iqdb

They are happy, when I'm miserable. That's 99% of the time.
When I'm happy, they are miserable. That's 1% of the time. And I feel so free and like an actual human being, once in a while. Similar to when they are not here, or I am not here. I can think, I can plan, I can do.
I wish them more misery, so I can be happy… for-ev-er.



 No.301426[Reply]

What do people call the belief that the more one suffers in this life the better his or her next one will be?
13 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.301512

>>301490
Brother I'm not a debugging output, I'm a self-aware being just like you. Atheism only means that there is no god, nothing worthy of praise, a creator can still exist within atheism but he would not be a god.

 No.301514

>>301512
The point was not that you or myself are not self-aware. I know that I am self-aware, and I assume (without proof) that others are self-aware because it would be difficult to go about my life otherwise. The point I was trying to make was that this self-awareness may not be anything more than a debugging output whereby the body can experience what is going on "under the hood" as it goes about its business. It may simply be a byproduct of how the mind operates rather than the actual process of operation itself. By attempting to dissociate from this debugging output, one can experience relief from the suffering caused by our subjective interpretation of this degugging output (this is the essence of Buddhist beliefs as I understands them).

As for your point about atheism, this is more of a semantics debate but if you are willing to concede that some creator may or may not exist but that he would not be a god that should be worshipped then I agree with you.

 No.301522

>>301514
how do you know there's anything "under the hood" and that, if there is such a thing, it's something utterly different from what you call your (self) awareness or mind?

 No.301524

>>301522
I may not have elucidated what I mean by "under the hood" very well. I was simply referring to subconscious processes which are carried out regardless of whether or not the self is aware of them. It is obvious that many biological functions are entirely subconscious and cannot be directly controlled by conscious thought like the rate at which the heart beats. It may be possibly to indirectly control this to some extent but I will get to that shortly. Going back to the topic of subconscious processes, even things that are normally thought of as deliberate actions are subconscious to some extent. As I type this, my mind somehow knows where every key is located on the keyboard and I can type this out without looking at the keyboard and deliberately moving each finger over every letter. I know the order of the letters of the first row of a QWERTY keyboard and can retrieve that knowledge at will. I do not, however, consciously know where all the letters are but I can retrieve them in a roundabout manner by imagining that I am typing something out. For instance, if I wanted to know where the letter 'X' was, I could imagine typing out the word "Xylophone" and seeing where my fingers want to go (bottom row, left side). If I wanted to consciously exert some control over my heartbeat, I can change my breathing or think of things that would normally make me frightened or anxious to increase the rate at which my heart beats. I cannot, however, directly control my heartbeat. There is some kind of process going on under the hood that automatically responds to stimuli and causes physical changes in my body and this occurs regardless of whether or not it is deliberately induced. This occurs at higher levels than core biological functions. Note how people respond to hearing certain words or phrases. Are they deliberately and consciously changing their facial expressions and body language? Obviously not.

So the question is not whether or not there is anything going on under the hood, but to what extent the biological machine that is the human body is controlled by processes that the self or consciousness that one identifies with is unaware of or is aware of but cannot control directly (processes that are going on "under the hood").

 No.301526

>>301426
Collecting karma points?
Do you believe in it?
I don't make any assumptions about the afterlife, but I still believe it's worth trying to be a good person, if only for the feeling of self-righteousness and a clear, unburdened conscience.



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 No.298319[Reply]

This thread is for the discussion of the greatest misfortune in existence that is disease.

Healthy people are NPCs. They don't really exist. With disease comes the awareness of your body that your private hell and your true existence begins and hear the scream of everything. Pain teach you what it means to really exist. Disease's manifesto: to live is to suffer like a ragdoll while fate prisons you in the eternal hours pregnant with pain to cure of you from the sin of life.
92 posts and 13 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.301146

>>301145
I am taking about diseases out of your control.

 No.301147

Covid vaccine gave me autoimmunity, its amazing some retards are still in denial over how harmful this was.

 No.301148

I'm devastated by illnesses both physically and mentally, I would gladly be put to death if it was possible

 No.301505

>>300034
Both. But it's not as bad as it used to be. I still feel stinging sensations whenever I sweat, but they don't last as long as they used to I no longer seem to get visible hives.

 No.301513

I have chronic sinusitis, seborrheic dermatitis and rosacea. I'm not joking when I say all this shit combined ruined my life.



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