/dep/ - Depression

>>302960
Thanks!

>>302955
>Muzak autism asides

Oh! I have a double meaning pun!

Layer 1: OTISm :)

(Otis is the surname of the guy who invented safe elevators by attaching a big sheet of metal between elevator's cabin and elevator's cable)
Modern architecture, full of elevators and tower blocks, is very OTIStic XD

Layer 2. Muzak is linked to OTISm XD
("Muzak" is synonymous with "elevator music" hence the extra layer of the pun)

I can't even deal with common cold. Can't imagine having any serious long term disease. Thank the demiurge I was born in an era with cheap paracetamol.

>>303208
Try wearing a winter "snood"


t. hates the modern nearly collar-less jackets

I developed a severe and permanent case of tinnitus as a result of damage in my internal ear, this year. When I focus on something, it becomes as loud as a hundred of cicadas screaming in my ear. I'm not able to enjoy things as much as I used to.

Before that, I didn't realize how good having a good health was.

>>302948
I have CPTSD from a mix of being treated like shit and being cringe and autistic most of my life. My only drive these days is the want to be left alone.

>>302950
Simplistic point of view from a subhuman

I don't have anything to say other than that this is the realest thread I've seen in a while.

society is a sadomasochistic hellscape
there will be no happiness, release from misery, or any breaks from meaningless torment
the game is to kill yourself as quick as possible

>>303246
this

>>303238
>i believe in love at first sight
It's on a lost hard drive somewhere in my house (I hope), but I actually had a picture of me and my rooster the day I decided I was going to take him home. I was in the pen he was in, sitting on the ground holding him. He didn't like being held yet, I had pretty much just met him. But I remember the smile on my face, and you could just tell how overjoyed I was and how I immediately knew I loved him and was meant to find him. I hope I find that picture again someday.

Here he is when he was younger, with his girlfriend.

>>303239
and here she is giving him a kiss

>>303238
It sounds like she really loved you. I believe in fate, that certain souls are just meant to find each other.

>>303241
Are you saying you believe in true love?

>>303243
I think so, like you(?) describe in >>303238. It's a kind of metaphysical thing, like some souls are just linked or something.

does fish oil works or it must be a meds?

>>303184
fish oil - as in cod liver oil - yes, it does work

i wonder if canned cod liver has vitamin D too (as in not ruined by canning, heating and stuff)

Reminder suplements are bullshit that is no better than meds.

>>303210
Silly billy, your thesis only works for "normal" climate of California/TexMex/Ibiza, not Estonia and Denmark, let alone Oslo and Helsinki

>>303176
Real sunlight is more of a mood enhancer than the D3 pills. For example don't be in a dark room all the time, that will make you go crazy.

>>302001
A guy I hated at work ended up killing himself a year after leaving. We talked about it for literally less than five minutes despite having worked with him every day for two years. He came up maybe once a month briefly as a reference for the next six months, now he might briefly get mentioned once every three years at best. He killed himself back in 2016.

You really are forgotten about pretty fast after you die outside of your immediate family.

>>303199
only lolcows are remembered forever

I hope no one remembers me, I was very cringy during my middle and high school years and those memories haunt me every single day. The one thing I can relate to is dreaming about those days every single night, literally all of my dreams involve classmates from high and middle school and they revolve around that setting too. They're usually nice dreams though, as bad as those days really were I have a bit of nostalgia and it's nice to interact with those people in a dream without having to do so in real life (which I would dread).

>>299518
I guess you're going through the stage which I went through in middle school. Back when I was 14, I experienced profound isolation and realized that everyone around me were against me, hated me and wanted me to disappear. So I withdrew and became a hikikomori, and enjoyed it greatly, but got derailed from my life path due to abuse/mental illness/emotional distress, and for several years suffered by attempting to make the most of my life before I circled back to being a hikki, even more depressed and awful than before.

Before, I was only 14-15. Dropped out on the first term of my first year of HS. I had hopes, thought I'd make a name for myself by the time I reached adulthood. I never expected to fail so miserably and face such profound torment at the hands of this world.

It's harrowing, isn't it? The existential dread of being the only one, all alone, disappearing and fading among people you cannot connect with, who cannot connect with you. I am prepared to witness the end of the world, but I won't lie, it's extremely painful.

>>303205
I can relate to that so much. im in my 30s but all my dreams are of HS or MS. Its not like I didn't do anything in college. but no one has ever voluntarily spent any time with me. so my only interactions are in school. and its just not the same in college, where you might have a class just once a week.

K-12 was the only time in life i interacted with the same cast daily, so my dreams still use it as my plots. and if i live to 90, it'll do the same

Wizchan invented Dead Internet Theory

error 11: insufficient data

>>303198
The devs aren't in control anymore and the algorithms recommend things I see

I live in constant dejavu

>>303197
>>303197
use a local llm chatbot then, blin!

>>303192
low-functioning autism

between 1994-2020 that was just called autism, and autists who could speak were called aspergers

>>303193
щh ok


my uncle is an autist. Worked as a taxi driver. Was only recently diagnosed with autism (after hitting 40). Weird, huh.

>>303204
That's because that poster is full of shit. A medium functioning autist can work as a taxi driver just fine.
A high functioning one like Elon Musk can become the richest man on the planet.

The only autists who are completely mute are the ones with a very severe case of it. Either they are practically 50 iq and need constant supervision or they are 150 iq savants like that guy who can draw the NYC topographical map with every single building out of memory.

>>303204
>Was only recently diagnosed with autism (after hitting 40). Weird, huh.
Not weird, because what counts as autism has been changed to the point where anyone can get a diagnoses if they get tested on a bad day.

>>303206
that doesnt contradict what i said at all, in the 1990s and 2000s, Elon would be diagnosed as aspergers.

> In 1990 (coming into effect in 1993), the diagnosis of Asperger syndrome was included in the tenth edition (ICD-10) of the World Health Organization's International Classification of Diseases, and in 1994, it was also included in the fourth edition (DSM-4) of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. However, with the publication of DSM-5 in 2013 the syndrome was removed, and the symptoms are now included within autism spectrum disorder along with classic autism and pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS).

the taxi uncle would also have been labeled as aspie pre-2013.

in double checking i was surprised how long its been since aspergers was dropped.

I hate the cold. It reminds me of death and makes normally bearable loneliness unbearable.

>>303165
What a painful experience, especially because I've had the exact same ones. Today is my birthday and I feel deeply sorrowful at turning one year older yet having nothing to show for it. So many fantasies I used to have, desires which I still have, yet my current situation is so far removed that all my desires seem like an impossibility.

I have tried and attempted so much, wasted so much money on art supplies, tools, resources, all for identities I wanted to adopt. But even doing the bare minimum challenges my limits. So you know what? I have decided to give up, stop trying, do absolutely nothing, and just operate within my limits. Within the energy that I can afford.

And so far, although sorrowful, it has helped me greatly. Especially because I have horrible OCD, I have managed to feel more at peace, even if the pain in my heart weighs heavily.

I have come to learn the value of 'experience'. To fully experience the moment with all its sorrows, limitations and agony. To simply… exist. And let my thoughts converge on their own.

After all… there's nothing else we could do, right? If all effort fails, then the most helpful thing is to do nothing at all.

>too lazy to do the things i need to do
>can't even use of my free time since i don't enjoy anything anymore
Anyone else here in full rot mode? Don't know if I'm dopamine burnt out or what. Shit's fucked.

>>303217
i like the cold because it makes brown people uncomfotable

>>303218
It's crazy how much of this just looks like "he is a lazy retard" from the outside when it takes more energy for a simple step than it takes for others to walk the whole road ahead.

I tried many things, bought many tools, set things up for myself to start a path, but I get stuck in mental loops until I reach a breaking point and give up.
I feel shackled by this basically all my life and it affects every aspect of it to the point where inaction and quietly rotting away became preferable to the torment of choice and the overwhelming obsessive thoughts that action spawns.

A stupid example would be a hobby I tried getting back into. Card games (yugioh) were a huge part of my childhood.
Now as an adult every part of it is driving me to the brink of madness.
The acquisition of cards, the storage of them, sleeves, double sleeving them, making and learning decks.
Preparing for the "event", the logistics of it all, then going there, the interactions and actually playing.
All of this, ever step of the way is a new torment.
Cardstock is also poor quality so they curl, bend whatever from humidity and it's making me mad. Sleeves are uneven so they might be considered marked. Stuff like this. The social aspects and storage/management too.

Then I see random people showing up with filthy sleeves, unwashed hands curled and damaged cards they can barely even read due to the language barrier have a time of their life enjoying the game without a second thought.
Yet here I am obsessing over everything, killing myself in the process.

Making simple decisions like what decks to play, what characters to pick in a video game also send me for a loop that fries my brain until I uninstall.
This has been a theme since childhood.
I could never progress much into MMOs because I'd keep rerolling, same for games, same for life… I started a degree for 3-4 different things, and other schooling that I never finished.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Sex is life

>>300895
>In short, there is more suffering than not-suffering in life, therefore life has inherently negative value.
Is this the Buddhist anti-life argument?

Literally everything in life is not sex so if you are obsessed with sex you just end up miserable.

Pick up hobbies. Find topics you love talking about.

>>300873
>That's why they try to make everyone's life revolve around sex so they don't feel so pathetic. The internet only made it worse. And men not only fall for it but promote their own demise.
They make you sad so you pay for things you don't need.

>>302569
Vagoo-aided masturbation is not equal sex then

>>300895
This is your brain on utalitarianism

Ehh…we all came from sex. I don't care for how dirty society has made it.