/dep/ - Depression

I'm not even depressed as much as i know, but sometimes it can be really depressing to think about the shitty limitations provided by envirornment and genetics. Life can be more tedious than average when you IQ(WAIS-III)is below your shithole's average, as if it wasn't not enough to deal with these normies and their annoying local culture.The concept of libertarian free will is a mirage, but it's still kind of hard to accept that, i feel like i'm watching a autistic comedy movie.

do your parents force you to do anything?
i'm 26 and still live with my parents, while i know they don't hate me, they do put alot of pressure on me to do normal things; get a 3DPD and focus on collage etc. i understand what they mean but they're so oppressive i almost makes it worse. and i can't do anything against them whatever they say goes. but at the sametime they do love me, it's this weird back and forth and i just feel alot from it.

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.

If you're reading this, it means you haven't killed yourself yet. So? What's the hold up?

>inb4 bleach
What can one use to mix with urine to remove the smell of it?
My previous piss jug strategy was to fill large 1.5 liter bottles and hide them with other trash and throw them out but:
1. Almost got busted (trash full, classic).
2. Used to drink soda, don't anymore, so no bottles.
Now I'm using some jugs and I'm careful to empty them in the toilet while everyone is sleeping.
The thing is the smell. Imagine the smell. I've tried vinegar, but it just smelled like vinegar and piss.
I tried using dish soap, and there was some limited success.
I bought some "calcium nitrate tetrahydrate" shit for portable toilets, and I think it removed the smell,
I'm not sure. It made the piss in the jug turn really brown and like… separated into almost water on top completely
covered with white mold. Probably lack of air and/or light. I'm not going to sleep with an open piss jug.
I'm considering smuggling that piss jug into the woods to empty it.

Who else here is addicted to alcohol? I'm completely using control lately. I still have a job, but sometimes I am drunk while working.

I just want to die at this point.

I'd be better off as one of those mutilated corpses in the trenches of WWII, at least I'd die with the illusion that I was fighting for something greater.

end of the year and doing it all over again edition

previous >>247482

Videogames are no longer fun, anime,books,porn,none of my old hobbies no longer give me my fix of dopamine.I watched one movie last year and that's it.What do you guys do when you get to this point?

I know this will sound fun to a lot of you. My thread might also be deleted since it has no other purpose than talking about me. You can talk about yourself on that thread as well.
So here's the thing: i'm way too naive. I swallow anything a person tells me. The logical thing would be to just back off from society. That's what i did for years, and not for that reason. Rather for bullying and health reasons that ruined my life. But that's not the subject here. The problem is that i still have internet and therefore have access to people who can potentially still keep using my weakness against me. So basically i was talking with someone whom i thought of a friend on internet. Stupid of me right? Anyway he asked me 500$ for a project he talked to me for like a week. Stupid right? Well again, i am stupid. He said that he would pay me back double after his project is done, i believed him and paid him. Guess what? He just disappeared after that.

So now the very little money i had accumulated after many years, gone. I don't even know what to say, i'm too emotionally weird to actually cry or do anything. I will just keep living like always. Meaning: doing absolutely nothing and wait for the next day. Should i post this here? I'm sure not. But i've learned something over the years about me. Whatever choice i do, it's always the wrong one. Always. All my live has been bad choices, alongside with the fact that it was pretty much screwed since the beginning.

As for myself, my health sucks, i can't work, can't study. I don't have any friends or anyone to talk to except my mom and dad who are starting to get gradually tired of the fact that i'm doing nothing. My health issues are laughed of, or just denied, so i don't have any sort of financially help or anything. Those 500$ where somehow my pride. I was happy to have them, i told myself one day i will have a good pc, not the overused thrash i have here.

I can't eat properly, shit properly, i can't sleep more than 5 hours in a row at best. I suffer a lot. But i guess it's not enough. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've tried suicide, but it didn't work. Nothing worked in my life. I have tried a lot of things. A lot. I mean it. But nothing ever worked in my life. Absolutely nothing. And everything sucks in my life. Every aspect you could think of. I'm just so tired of suffering what's the fucking point?

I was so low before that, and objectively i'm as low as i was before. Post too long. Click here to view the full text.