store manager and district manager getting really mad lately that I keep forgetting to put my initials on a checklist. it's a cleaning & disinfecting checklist to make the store safe and sanitized against covid.
If I clean and disinfect but forget to put my initials on the checklist, that's bad.
If I don't do any of it but put my initials on the checklist, that's good.
Lately I never do any of the tasks because we don't have anything to disinfect with anymore because we don't receive anything. But I try to remember to initial T H E C H E C K L I S T anyway because if I don't then apparently somethingsomething LEGAL DOCUMENT somethingsomething ACCOUNTABILITY blah. Basically they don't actually care about the health and safety of anybody. If someone gets sick and they initialed the checklist then they have their scapegoat, because they can say I was responsible and didn't do well. If I don't initial it, then they can't blame me. And my purpose is to be trampled on by everyone for the company's reputation.
But despite their nagging and saying "YOU GOTTA INITIAL THE PAPER INITIAL THE FUCKING PAPER SO WE CAN CONTINUE TO PLAY GAMES OF PRETEND WITH THE PUBLIC", I face no real consequences. I think I'll just respond by asking if I'll be fired over it. I don't think they will do that because they need a slave. But if they do, then I'll be free. I know this sounds like the most trivial thing but in my life this is 6 years of wage slavery and frustration coming to a head. If I ignore initialing this piece of paper and just accept whatever shitty fate awaits me, this will be the first time I've ever stood my ground in my entire existence.
This is a bullshit piece of paper and to you it's pointless. I get that. I understand that. For me, after cleaning up human shit on the store floor multiple times, after putting in a two weeks notice but then being too scared to actually quit, after being harassed and taunted by high school kids every single day for years, after dozens of other examples of shit I've rolled over and allowed to happen: For me, this is exercising my agency as a human being with a will of my own for the first time. I've never been a human before. This stupid checklist is the vehicle through which I assert to the universe that I exist.
I'll just be completely honest. "Well, I don't really care much anymore. Yeah I'm not really into working here or life at all honestly. Yeah I won't fill out the checklist. Yeeeeah IPost too long. Click here to view the full text.