/dep/ - Depression

>>305889
If you were an omnipotent god, you could drown yourself in pleasure without limit. Every moment would be an endless reservoir of sensation, a perfect and inexhaustible satisfaction available at will. There would be no hunger, no anticipation, no uncertainty, only fulfillment repeating forever. Yet that perfection might trap you in sameness, a cycle where nothing new could ever truly occur, because nothing could ever be missing. When experience has no contrast, it stops feeling like experience at all.

In that state, eternity would blur into stillness. Without risk, loss, or change, pleasure would lose its meaning and collapse into a constant background noise. You would exist, but never move forward, never discover, never grow. The question then becomes unsettling: if consciousness cannot change, cannot struggle, cannot surprise itself, is that existence any different from death, or merely a motionless awareness pretending to be alive?

>>305877
This, trying to grasp the mannerisms and thoughts of a god using human intelligence is inherently paradoxical since humans will always be weighed down by their biological burdens and mortal limitations. If you were a good you wouldn't care about pleasure and suffering or any human notion for that matter.

>>305894
otoh think about how bad op feels. here he brought something he thought was enlightening thoughts and now he has to face my cynical responses.

ironically such responses were what killed me inside so i guess i'm just returning to the world what i received from it or whatever.

now i kinda feel like a bad person, guess i'll go ruminate or something

>>305874
You're essentially describing a gnostic position – that we are by origin gods wrongly bound into material shells by some lesser deceiving demiurgic deity. "ει θεος: you are a god" is one of the original pythagorean dicta cluing the young learner into the knowledge that he is a mortal god entrapped inside an aesthetic counter of true reality, or what we in modern language call a "simulation".

>So perhaps I would deliberately choose limitation and pain, not out of cruelty toward myself but out of a search for novelty and significance

You're attempting to form reason for the suffering of our human lives. I applaud that, as it is not easy nor in any way logically intuitive. For my own part I have no strong answer. Even the traditional four-way theological parting of – good god (theism), idle god (deism), no god (atheism), evil god (gnosticism) – seems explanatorily incomplete to me.

>would be to abandon omniscience, to step inside a fragile and limited perspective.

This is thematically similar to plato's dialogue "Meno" where knowledge is said to be latent (that is, "hiding") in our transmigrating souls but still susceptible of being teased out to its original fullness by a competent teacher. The pythagorean concept of metempsychosis also qualifies this notion of our lives being broken up intervals between which we are bound to make connective sense.

>In that state, eternity would blur into stillness. Without risk, loss, or change, pleasure would lose its meaning and collapse into a constant background noise. You would exist, but never move forward, never discover, never grow.

This reminds me of some character's answer in morrowind (a computer game about gnosticism fitted to a narrative stage of knights and medieval times) touching on the question of why Lorkhan (the elder scrolls' version of the demiurge) created material reality (tamriel) and his answer was something like “because he found the peacefulness of the aedric realm to be unexciting and dull”. This then graduates into the familiar problem of whether the demiurge himself is evil or not…and I think in original platonism the demiurge was never assigned a clear moral color of good or evil (which accounts for why plotinus attacked Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>305874
>If I were living inside a virtual simulation as a kind of player inhabiting this world, I would start wondering whether the point of the simulation might actually be to experience suffering


The Great Filter Theory: there is something that kills life on every other planet save for ours, but not the universe.
We're *put* here into this uncozy simulation to see if The Great Filter lies somewhere in our lifetime.

So far, Stanislav Petrov is the only just-a-human hero credited as the literal saviour of the world

>>305897
>i'm actually a very cute person
damn i feel like i've read/written this shit a long time ago already. hopefully i'm just hallucinating

>>305898
Déjà vu is associated with temporal lobe epilepsy.[17][18] This experience is a neurological anomaly related to epileptic electrical discharge in the brain…


Experiencing déjà vu has been correlated with higher socioeconomic status, better educational attainment, and lower ages.[12][13][9][10] People who travel often, frequently watch films, or frequently remember their dreams are also more likely to report experiencing déjà vu than others.[12][14][13]

Delved deep tonight and found myself really seeing no point to living.
Suicide becomes reasonable.
Everything is utterly shallow and meaningless.
No relationship holds any value.
Looks are 99% and the last 1% "personality" is just a bit of noise that isn't all that different person to person.
Personality is worthless, every person is essentially the same on the inside. Maybe 20 different personalities max per gender.

>>305921
So you see no point in living n account of the fact that you're too ugly to get sex for free?

>>305923
I don't even think relationships would do anything.
We're all ending up like South Korea.
Everyone is going to chase having the same face and body, endless plastic surgery.
And it's all going to be the same couple of dozen "personalities".
People aren't any more unique than animals.

This is why the elite is coping so hard with occultism.
It's all a cope for how meaningless everything is.

>>305522
How much opium do you need to overdose?

Bleach method sounds like that 4chad crap with crystal that would fuck your eyes and stomach but keep you alive in even more agony than already are my dream is sneaking into train tracks with headphones at max volume to avoid mutilation or failure at the last moment

Wild how on here 6 years ago during a depressive episode I tried to kill myself through freezing myself to death. I drove up the mountain with two bottles of vodka. This was during covid lockdowns.

I had a change of heart and was terrified and praying to god as I was driving back down. As the road was that slippery and I was sliding all over the ice.

It's wild to think that if I crashed and got stuck I probably would've died. I purposely went with no mobile phone and was only wearing a shirt and shorts.

I posted about it the whole time on here hysterically and got laughed at as a troll/attention seeker/whatever. I wanted to die at the time and was in pretty deep depression and terror.

I'm older now, I still feel suicidal but it's more in a "one day" sort of way. I've had a few cycles of getting close and then freaking out at the last minute.

>>305916
>I tried to kill myself through freezing myself to death
Your body would start shivering out of control, it is a terrible way to die.
>I drove up the mountain with two bottles of vodka
Alcoholic coma sounds much more comfy.
>I purposely went with no mobile phone and was only wearing a shirt and shorts.
Scary.

>>305022
Is "Gunshot of head" like a basic handgun to the head?

>>305044
If your only replies are "ur a faggot" and "ur a jew" you don't belong here, you look like automated shitposting bots and deserve to be ignored or even better banned

To all Wizbros, I implore you to start fixing your mental health by changing the food you eat to mainly meat, fish, animal fat, raw milk, butter, organs and the rest whatever you enjoy. Then try exercise, stretching, meditation. Get a pet. Channel your mana and try everything in your power to return to your natural healthy form. Do not for a second consider taking the neurotoxic globalist castration lobotomy poison that are psych drugs, does not matter what kind or brand.
Speaking from personal experience, I took SSRI medication for 6 months and still feel blunted emotionally and intelectually 10 years later, not to mention loss of proper feeling in the private areas, tinnitus in the ears, obesity and plenty more issues i did not have before.
CONSERVE YOUR SPIRIT AT ALL COST, NO MATTER HOW DARK AND NARROW THE PATH GETS. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK AT THE MOMENT.

Also, i recommend reading We Want To Live written by Aajonus Vonderplanitz

>>305358
mom my problem isn't food my problem is that i'm so crippled by anxiety and hatred my stomach feels like a knot. mom i know it's hard for you to understand but once you slip out of society there isn't a way to get back in, just why the fuck would i care about what i eat? anything that i can swallow is fine i've nothing to live for and magic is spiritual not bodily

>>305358
THANK YOU!!!
because I have been *shunned into* eating vegan

>>305880
Would you elaborate on that a little? The technique I mean.

>yet personally if I would reflect the times in my life where I was thinking nonstop there are aspects of it that I miss like simply having an extensive coherent thought process and coming to a conclusion that seemed like the truth.

I tried writing about how we might diverge here, but I seem to fail at making a point. I hope I manage to get it across somehow.

I personally am not stuck on philosophical things where a truth or a semblance of it can be reached through reason. I'm stuck in mental loops related to decisions that need to be made in life to progress.
Every decision, every step you take has an opportunity cost. If your life is not really all that nice and you aren't all that capable, making the wrong ones is too costly.
Making no decision is also costly, but not as terrifying as making the wrong one.

Unfortunately if you are "traumatized" enough by your own history of incompetence you'll end up paralyzed whenever a decision needs to be made.
I'm stuck in a very zero sum / permanence mindset where I need to be sure every step is optimal before I take it.
Paralyzed because there are no such steps to take in my situation unfortunately.
I try to get out of it by just committing to something the second a sufficient impulse presents, like buying new equipment because the old one has rotted or failed etc., but often still end up regretting it, because the thing bought sucks despite months of research.

This applies to everything.
What career path to pick for a 30 year old exNEET with failing health? I can maybe finish one course in something if I put my all into it, but if I pick the wrong one and drop out for the 5th 6th or 7th time depending on how you count it I wont get another shot. I wont give myself another shot.

Decisions are hard and I envy people who can make one and stick to it because reality shows that most paths when walked long enough can bless you with success and satisfaction of some kind.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>305886
As a wiz from a country with free-but-red-tapey medical aid, I pretty much should start nagging for help NOW.

>>305907
Yeah better start now rather then when the pain becomes unbearable.
After all these years the only benefit I see in having socialized health care is that the private versions are well, not quite affordable, but not completely out of reach for those of meager means.
If you are in Eastern Europe you can just soft-bribe the doctors to get in faster and cheaper than going full private.

>>305911
Oh! I havee a spinal doctor here, who works both ways so… maybe…

>>305912
Yeah those are the ones that can "help" you most often.
Like you go to one of his private visits, pay with cash, no receipts or any papers for that and I got an MRI appointment for the public system in no time at 1/10 of the cost.
It's bullshit, but it's how the world works sadly.
I wish they didn't ban "gratitude money" or whatever you'd call it in English. Basically giving envelopes with cash to doctors to grease the wheels.
It used to be common public practice. Now you have to be a normie to navigate these situations properly. I struggle quite a bit with these unspoken things.

>>303766
thanks

>>299707
>Spend more time at the gym.
>Buy Bitcoin.

You do neither of those things.

This is another reason I want to die by train I hope at least one normie realises how evil they all fucking are but seeing gore for years i saw no empathy just them cheering for the triump of darwinism such is the filthy world

>>304170
Yes I do.

>>305869
No you don't (jk)

same. I was just the other day looking in the shop seeing one of those chocolate thingies "a hug for the most kind dad" and it made me incredibly sad I didn't have this kind of relationship with my parents where I would feel like I would want to show them little affections like that
I think about suicide everyday and I probably will do it soon

There is no happiness. No happy ending. No "making it". Even if I can have anything I want I don't know what to look forward to.

>>305891
idk about that. think about how we live in an industrial world. we're like cats locked in a flat. you know actually unless you sterilize your cat it'll go insane locked in the house. same with dogs for that matter. i think that's what's happening to people. you can't live like this unless you're castrated, but castration isn't an option is it. so yeah for us at least it's just suffering out there

I disagree only if dreamless sleep dreams are another form of torture designed by the filthy creator

>>305896
>idk about that. think about how we live in an industrial world. we're like cats locked in a flat. you know actually unless you sterilize your cat it'll go insane locked in the house. same with dogs for that matter. i think that's what's happening to people. you can't live like this unless you're castrated, but castration isn't an option is it. so yeah for us at least it's just suffering out there

I knew it.

>you can't live like this unless you're castrated, but castration isn't an option is it
It's not an option here because it's "untraditional".

>>305090
to steel my nuts, lol? anyway what does iron do? will it help me not feel like somebody's trying to crush my neck when anxiety hits? i'm fucked up enough that anxiety feels like a very physical thing

>>303176
Friendly reminder you body might not be able to absorb it from food or it might not be able to produce it by means of sunlight… both cases happened to me. After a study on vitamin D my doctor prescribed me pills of 5000 iu of vitamin D per day for four months. In the very first week those pills solved a problem that for almost two decades I thought it was normal: perpetual exhaustion. Nowadays I have more energy and don't even feel tired after working out. The downside of this is that I cannot blame fatigue for my lack of interest in developing my skills… that's a psychological issue no ammount of money will solve.

>>305097
Thank you for being with me.
See, I used to hear on how the lack of vitamin D ruins the mood for the Finnish people. I understand when a Saint-Petersburg guy lacks the money to buy some cod liver, but the Finns??? Thank you for explaining the need for proper meds-like vitamins D

Regards, OP




>>305097
>The downside of this is that I cannot blame fatigue for my lack of interest in developing my skills…

ugh? uh? Your job, mate? Your title?
Coulda help you a li'l bit at that I guess

If you work at some gov't job, you will feel empty a bit from the very nature of strict gov't jobs, "by the book" and stuff… If not, please tell so I could some looking up.

>that's a psychological issue no ammount of money will solve.
Ah, sometimes you just need some *edutaiment* videos that explain your things in fun manner rather than bold manner. Coulda ask a chatty for some fun channels to larn something *adjacent* to the skills you already have

>>305093
>to steel my nuts, lol?
:D

>anyway what does iron do?
hmmmmm… blood cells use Fe+ ion to contain, to "grab"/"hold" oxygen.

Less ferrum in your body means less Fe+ atoms are ready to parttake in your fresh blood generation.

Thing is, one's blood cells can only be used for mere weeks and then it gets recycled by your own body. The efficency is around 40%, if I remember it right.

Therefore, your body needs iron to make new blood as your body keeps destroying old blood cells with Fe atoms going down the drain.


>will it help me not feel like somebody's trying to crush my neck when anxiety hits? i'm fucked up enough that anxiety feels like a very physical thing

Hmmmmmm… Iron deficency and anxiety can be interlinked.

Some random words on top of that:
"inflatable neck collar", the thing's under 5$
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My family wants me to go full-on vegan for, roughly, a month. This has been happening, well, around every season.

I reckon going full vegan will turn me into a soywiz. I can't stand going vegan then going un-vegan then going vegan back and forth.

1) What do? Sneaky approach or clash with my family?

2) Can I claim such a diet - and the stress from the fact I've been *shunned into* taking it - has been ruining my mental health in case I request help and get some "how come a dude like you have problems? You're just faaaat".

>>305576
not much curious about it. lainchan users really are fucked up in the head and sure as hell their approach to life is often unwizardly.

>>305314
"You are very smart for your age!"

I remember a teacher telling me this once when I was 15. I still sob whehn I think about it.

>>305590
kek wizbro same story. academically i was one of the most successful students in the history of my school. look where it got me. haven't even a job

>>305576
Lainchan.org has been down two times so maybe you'll get to laugh pretty soon.

>>305576
Guess you can start cackling tomorrow: lain's site has been… well, lain. Probably just a hibernation. Bear style.

<It's not just you! lainchan.org is down.
<Last updated: Feb 16, 2026, 8:46 AM



>>305554
Brace for impact!

>>305826
Yup! Grandpa Joe always could've brought a 3$ "tommy gun" toy to the party XD

>>305661
Yep. Just like faggot op and his obsession with lain, which is one of the many popular "aesthetics" among tiktok teenagers.

Funny tricks for OP to try.
From someone who tried to watch SEL when they aired it.

Try logging out a little bit by:

1)use some old smartphone as your offline device (Gutenberg Project books, old books, .pdf of Popular mechanics magazines off Archive.org)

AND

2)set your main smartphone, your online device into silent mode on schedule (Do Not Disturb mode on samsungs and alike allows scheduling auto-enable and auto-disable schedule in pairs, say 22:00-07:00)

3. Check your EMR levels in your room and test your EMR sensitivity. What if you are constantly being affected by your Wi-Fi router? Try putting it into another room…

4. Get a y3k-styled chromed mp3 player, maybe?

honestly, i never got phone addiction. the screen is small as fuck, it hurts my eyes trying to use it even for a few minutes. the general experience of "using" a phone is terrible. you cant type, your fingers fuck around with "apps" and half-baked gestures, and everything is constantly being deprecated to force you to buy a new phone.

>>305893
I think you may have far-sighted eyes. Which means you need reading glasses.

Regards, a near-sighted person who needs regular glasses.