/dep/ - Depression

You have a pretty well elaborated written discourse, so your smartness is ok.

Maybe you should listen your body and stop letting others decide where you must go and when.

>>303068
Oh no no, we won't until you do something utlitarian yourself. For instance, 0.1% concentration CO2 in your room is enough to give some a headache (the natural concentration is 0.04%).

>>302257
bump because some of this stuff in OPpost feels relatable in a sense

>>305113
penguin classic for a reason. for anyone who hasnt read it, it is definitely worth looking at

>dehumanization due to lack of truly human connection

I dunno, for me, "real human connection" was the very *not nice* thing that scarred me

Randomly felt the urge to look up my old high school friend's youtube account. The last uploads were from right around 16 years ago, right around the time we graduated. The videos were our shitty attempts at a cooperative "let's play". We had around 18 episodes before we stopped. I can't remember if we just got bored or if it's because after graduating we just lost touch and never talked to each other again.

In middle through high school he was my only friend. It's weird to hear his voice again on those old videos. Also weird to hear my own voice, because those videos were the only time in my entire life in which I was brave enough to use my voice on the internet. Before and after that I never used a mic for any reason, and have obviously never put pictures or videos of myself online.

I think we usually would do the recordings in-person at my PC, but I think we also did a few remotely while I screenshared with him through Skype or something. I remember one time we were at my house and we were going to record, but my brother came over to visit my mother, and I was too self-conscious to let us start until my brother left, and so I forced us to sit around quietly for two or three hours.

On one of my old USB drives from high school I actually still have a backup of the emulator, rom, and savefiles from when we were doing that LP. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I suddenly contacted him and, after reminiscing, brought up the silly idea of suddenly starting the LP back up again. Like, what if there was suddenly "PART19" uploaded 16 years later, and we'd just make some joke about coming back from a bathroom break and just resumed playing as if nothing happened.
But, even if I wanted to go through with that, I don't know how to contact him or anyone really, as I have no social media. I'm pretty sure, however, that he still lives in his home from our high school days, like I do. I'm pretty sure he's unemployed, like myself. I guess I could just drive 10 minutes to his house and knock, but I don't have the social guts to do something like that.

I guess I could write a letter. Imagine doing THAT!

Troonery has left such a deep wound on the nerd psyche that I don't think it will ever heal. So many things coincided for it to happen….what's opposite of serendipity?

>>305236
>So many things coincided for it to happen
Cohencided*. It was by design.

>>305236
Never trust a jew. Troonery is saint in comparison to the evils they are yet to unleash.

>>305236
>Troonery
Troonery is the logical endgame of female worship which permeates 95% of present-day media. There is no escaping it unless you're fine reading old books or listening obscure music genres. Everything else is either straight up gynocentric bullshit or social related crap, succubi dominate social games and society as a whole so of course they'd be at the spotlight of this. Introversion and spirituality are male dominated topics, but obviously they are greatly lacking these days. It cannot be any other way tho, I mean, in a ehhh I'm sorry for using this word because it often carries negative connotations but yeah, in a capitalistic society.

>>305254
>You really need to tell your doctor if a medication is not working well for you or if it is causing side effects that feel wrong or overwhelming.

AFAIK, it is the matter of trial and error to patch a person's "miseranle little pile" of secretory function, even. So yes, I agree

>Treatment is not supposed to make your life worse

also true, IIRC. I am positive that's the standard procedure now to switch your medicaments to a more interesting cocktail if your current set of meds only hurts you atop of the heartache you already have.

>>305253

>And yes, considering the bullying I have been through, I am a victim. That is not an exaggeration or a manipulation of language, it is a statement rooted in real experiences that have had lasting effects on my mental health.

1. Your victimhood is fake to me and doesn't mean shit to me.
2. How you were 'changed' by bullying is fake and gay. Instead of choosing to change, you chose to be a fat pussy drug addict for a cheap way to get more victim points. Fuck off. You didnt choose to be bullied, but you chose to be a drug addicted pussy. You chose to allow those experiences to override your autonomy. You're a pretentious faggot.

>Being bullied can fundamentally change how a person sees themselves and the world, and dismissing that reality only adds another layer of harm.
>Please do not gaslight me by minimizing or reframing my experiences as something trivial or imagined. You do not get to decide the weight of what I went through, and asking for that to be respected is not unreasonable, it is basic empathy.

Nigger what is this? What the fuck is this? You are such a pussy that my observations threaten your sense of ego. That kind of language validates how absolutely fake and full of shit you are. What layer of harm am I inflicting on you with a bunch of words? I am exposing you. I am confronting you for being a victimhood pearl clutching faker. I infer that's 'harmful' because it threatens your fakery. Its another way to give yourself more victimhood points.

'Weight of what I went through' I can decide it and I will, and I have. Its real because you allowed it to be. You got bullied as a kid, so? You think you're special because of that? Grow the fuck up, get the fuck over it. Let the experiences shape you into a better person instead of this self-pitying individual who employs manipulative therapy-speak.

I dont owe you shit. The world doesnt owe you shit. Nobody owes you shit. You should be ashamed of destroying your body with drugs just to get that orgasmic victimhood validation high. This kind of language is so fucking manipulative and annoying to listen to, I am rotten sick of listening to your kind.

>>305261
I am a victim, and I am asking you not to gaslight me. You could not truly understand what I have been through, because you have never lived my experiences, and everyone’s life is shaped by different struggles and circumstances. Without empathy, it is easy to dismiss someone else’s pain, even when that pain is very real and deeply rooted. This is not reckless behavior or substance abuse. Sertraline is a legitimate medical treatment that helps manage my PTSD, a condition that affected me for years. If I had the ability to let you see or feel even a fraction of what I endured, I would, because then you might understand why empathy matters so much in conversations like this.

I suffered with PTSD for a long time before I finally found something that allowed me to heal and move forward. Sertraline gave me the space and stability I needed to stop being trapped in the past, and I deserve that chance to move on with my life. It has helped me regain control and find peace where there was once constant distress. What comes across in your words feels hostile and dismissive, and that kind of rage is not productive or fair to project onto others. Just as medication has helped me manage my condition, perhaps reflection or support could help you manage that anger. Everyone deserves understanding, compassion, and the opportunity to heal in their own way.

>>305261
The world can be an unkind and overwhelming place at times, full of noise, conflict, and moments that feel deeply unfair. It is easy to become hardened by those experiences, especially when life repeatedly shows its harsher side. Yet unkindness is not the only truth of the world, and it does not have to define every moment or every future. Even within chaos, there are still paths toward calm, understanding, and healing, though they are often difficult to find when pain has taken root for a long time.

Through sertraline, I have been able to discover a sense of kindness and peace within myself, even while the world around me remains unpredictable. It has helped quiet the constant inner turmoil and allowed me to approach life with more patience, clarity, and emotional balance. Instead of being consumed by fear or past trauma, I can now experience moments of hope and stability that once felt impossible. In a chaotic world that does not always offer compassion, finding that peace within has been life changing, and it has given me the strength to keep moving forward with resilience and self understanding.

>>305261
You seem to be approaching this with a sense of fear and suspicion that I do not think is warranted. No one is out to get you, and no one is trying to secretly harm you by prescribing medication. For me, sertraline is not some sinister substance or hidden danger, but a legitimate treatment that has genuinely improved my quality of life. It has helped calm my mind, reduce my symptoms, and bring a sense of stability that I struggled to find on my own. The idea that all psychiatric medication is poison ignores the real experiences of people like me who have found relief, clarity, and even hope through the proper use of prescribed medicine under medical supervision.

If you have taken prescription pills before and they caused you more suffering than relief, that does not mean all medication is inherently bad or malicious. More often than not, it simply means that your body was not compatible with that specific drug. Human biology is complex, and mental health treatment is not a one size fits all situation. In those circumstances, the responsible and recommended course of action is to work with a doctor and switch to a medication that suits your body and brain chemistry better. There are many different antidepressants available, each working in different ways, and finding the right one can take time and adjustments. Dismissing all medication because of one bad experience only closes the door to treatments that could genuinely help.

That's the normal state of humanity. Also did you imply that you are on
>multiple drugs and getting therapy?
Because if so good luck waiting until your life improves.

If you've been keeping up with normies the last 10 years have culled them. let's say if 80% of people were normies in 2005, now it's barely 50%. The rest are now failed-normies or whatever term you want to use. Most people are isolated or turned crazy

>>305190
2020 have done A LOT to keep normies … well, not so normalcy-oriented, if we remember it right

Stop chasing normalretards and embrace the void. Friends are found, not made, what you see in them as "building" relationships is merely the display of already preset compatability between them. You must embrace the solitude and make it your home. Give no excuses, be weird and avoid whatever situation of stress you might fall into, do not try to keep up with them.

Do not chase. Go there, cause some havoc and get away with it. See them for what they are, a poison to you.

Or is it that you might take pleasure by what they say? Of course not, you just have this shithole "need" for fitting in. But that is not the way, no matter what logic says.

Rather get inside the server and judge the retarded words of some of them. Being critic boosted my mood highly better than any approval received by normies. Imagining such conversations as sand castles to be destroyed.

Or rather reject the whole situation. When something is meant for you, no effort is felt, no struggle nor anxiety for fulfulling roles you are not made to fulfill. Learn where you really belong and avoid everything else.

Stop selling yourself around like a retard. No excuses.

My lvl is 32 btw.

>>302454
>>302834
>I can already see a world of rogue AIs roaming the Net

True, that would've been hilarious - people cannot bulli, but some random E.I.R.I.Neural can

I'm not sure how to break past this point really, if you don't know what to say you just sit there in dead air which is a painful negative feedback loop that's hard to break. I've been in a few discord game communities the past few years and it's been the same experience. I try integrating but things do not click, always have an empty mind so nothing to say. After a while of trying I end up drifting apart because the pain of vc outweighs the fun I get from playing together. Before discord you could comfortably have text-only internet friends but now everybody you meet will escalate to vc at some point. I haven't met anyone else online and have just been in isolation for a while.

So yes I am also stuck with this, I suspect its because I could be currently retarded and need to find ways to train myself linguistically

>>302838
There are some giga wizards using discord but none of them that I know of use any discord servers.

>>301325
Ask AI if

"can we make a little friendship for this dialogue so we could practice how to make friends via Discord messaging app later given my interests are of ones found on a surviving imageboard"

I don't have any hope of ever having a normal life, my fear of slowly drifting away from the people I know now will probably come true. But maybe I can still be financially successful.

We're not born to be happy.
This planet is not for us it is hostile.
Very few have a decent life without issues.

>>305241
Very well said. You need to have 0.01% tier luck to actually have a life worth living.

>>305228
*watches Serial Experiments Lain*
*mind = blown*
*hope = activated*

I *have an impression* no one gets exactly what they want in this modern caleidoscope of things and feelings.

However, sometimes, ideas to try and loosen the sharp clench of O Fortuna on my life work a little bit.

>>305245
>However, sometimes, ideas to try and loosen the sharp clench of O Fortuna on my life work a little bit.

edit:

However, sometimes, I DO GET ideas to try and loosen the sharp clench of O Fortuna on my life AND SOME work a little bit EVEN.

>>305234
try schizo pills kind of drugs kek

>>305246
it's useless to argue with a junkie

>>305247
Drugs dissolve anxiety, tension, and pain.

>>305203
I'm in a similar situation to you. I'm disabled and can't do much, the only thing I could do is programming or gamedev but those are worthless skills now thanks to AI and there's no point in me doing them. I wish I could just die in my sleep.

>>305250
also they dissolve your self and brain tissue. you've lost, been fucked over by jews.

Massively improved standard of living
The child mortality rate in Africa
Is now the same as it was in Europe in 1952
Which is a statistic
That I just regard as
Absolutely miraculous
The rate of poverty is diminishing
At an amazing rate, right
Between 2000 and 2012
We have poverty

Jordan Peterson is the epitome of dishonesty. Terrible thread

>>305199
I don't want my family to realize I've been a NEET so long I am turning to an old man. I want them to continue having the idea that I am just a young kid that need some time to rest before rejoining society.

>>305213
meds + meditation to fix it. if you're already interacting with people you're basically good to go for anything. you've only got real problems if you can't leave your room of your own volition.
>>305214
what will you do when they die/disown you?

>>305221
>what will you do when they die/disown you?
Try to get a shit job. Maybe I have matured emotionally to be able to handle them now but I could also be stressed out of my mind like the last time I worked. If I can't handle it by then and have no other better ideas, I'll just kill myself. It's the same story no matter which NEET you ask if they don't have bux or wealth.

>>305221
>you've only got real problems if you can't leave your room of your own volition.
well I'm very close to that.
Didn't speak to a single non essential person (doctor, cashier etc) for long time. I already was very socially anxious before but this really makes it worse. I have an appointment with a doctor about this hair thing soon so i hope i get some meds..

>>305229
get some social interaction instead. of any kind. idk think of a hobby or something. wiz != crab != loser. neets who preach they're happy are faking it. they all end up hollow shells.

>Your username as the thread name
What did you wish to achieve with this?
>TV watcher
TV is 40% awful commercials designed to piss you off, and 60% awful programs conceived to make you gay and stupid
>obese fingers
Hair is retained in the kitchen. You'd have more hair on your head if it didn't need to breakthrough a quarter inch of fat.
>Windows 11 netbook
Why?
>WhatsApp image
Even worse than a Discord filename
>Mexican Twitter
There are imageboards better suited for your demographic.
>"privacy browser"
You are incredibly propagandized. Normal for a TV watcher!
>"My poor mommy worries about me having sad feefees :("
Do her a favor and improve yourself or at least try to give the impression that you're not someone who she needs to worry about
>Gay faggot boykisser erotica of bad anime
No I'm happy that you're sad.

>without realizing it out of nowhere I start crying
Are you not a grown man? Why the fuck were you crying?

ITT Indian lashes out at a Mexican. Peak thread please continue.