/dep/ - Depression

It’s over for me, I’m 18 and I have the social skills of a goldfish, I’m 5’5, autistic and not particularly good looking

Now at the moment my cope is the gym, I’m fairly lean and have visible abs but I’ve been tempted to start drinking daily or at the very least several days a week

This is because:
1) it feels nice
2) it’s not too expensive
3) it makes me more social
4) it may make life interesting again

But at the same time I have my doubts

These are:
1) I am genetically predisposed to alcoholism, several members of my family are fond of a drink or have been, with my late father being an alcoholic before meeting my mother
2) I am quite proud of what I have done to my body over the past year or so, I used to be quite fat as a child/teen so to throw it all away would be quite upsetting

What should I do wizards? Besides vidya and the gym, nothing brings me any joy, I’ve tried dating apps and got 0 matches and I’ve never been approached by a succubus irl so I know it is for a fact over

I live in a hot region of the world. I was born in a place I didn't even ask to be born. Right now, I'm getting bothered by the heat, and I no longer want to touch the sunlight. It makes me itch and I can't stand it. I never wanted to live, but if I were forced to, let it at least be somewhere cold, a calm and serene place. I don't think this will get better. I'm not going to say that I feel this way irl or anywhere else on the internet. I'll just say it here.

I think that's all I have to say. If you're like me, I hope your pain will lessen too.

The imposition edition. How many times have you done this? Previous https://wizchan.org/dep/res/303254+50.html

Isolation has carved me in its image and likeness. The presence of another person- of any person whatsoever - instantly slows down my thinking, and while for a normal man contact with others is a stimulus to spoken expression and wit, for me it is a counterstimulus, if this compound word be linguistically permissible. When all by myself, I can think of all kinds of clever remarks, quick comebacks to what no one said, and flashes of witty sociability with nobody. But all of this vanishes when I face someone in the flesh: I lose my intelligence, I can no longer speak, and after half an hour I just feel tired. Yes, talking to people makes me feel like sleeping. Only my ghostly and imaginary friends, only the conversations I have in my dreams, are genuinely real and substantial, and in them intelligence gleams like an image in a mirror.

The mere thought of having to enter into contact with someone else makes me nervous. A simple invitation to have dinner with a friend produces an anguish in me that's hard to define. The idea of any social obligation whatsoever attending a funeral, dealing with someone about an office matter, going to the station to wait for someone I know or don't know - the very idea disturbs my thoughts for an entire day, and sometimes I even start worrying the night before, so that I sleep badly. When it takes place, the dreaded encounter is utterly insignific ant, justifying none of my anxiety, but the next time is no different: I never learn to learn.

'My habits are of solitude, not of men.' I don't know if it was Rousseau or Senancour who said this. But it was some mind of my species, it being perhaps too much to say of my race.”

Text 49, The Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa

todai I learned Helicobacter Pylori bacteria reduces your B12 vitamin levels as well as iron levels.


My diet is weird also

I need to pass a breath Helicobacter Pilori test (or vomit into a cup a little, I suppose)

maybe that's where my ruined mood comes from

Reminder to take your vitamins, especially "fish oil" one " Vitamin D3



they say Vitamin D3, because "Vitamin D" sounds like an euphemism, kekeke

You will still be stuck browsing this thread in 2026 edition

previous>>296811

This is the classic "suicide general", where we discuss methods and say farewell to our fellow wizards, quite different from that other thread in the catalog.

I'm currently 26, almost 27 (rings a bell?). And I can't take it anymore. I will soon depart from life through hanging. I haven't done it yet because I live in a shithole and there are always people around making noise and being nosy. I will just wait till it's very quiet so I can go to the woods and end this miserable existence.

I don't care if it might "get better". Existence itself is a curse and we're all gonna die anyway. I've read enough pessimist books and life affirming books and I side with the former. I don't need your compansion, because the thought that I will soon disappear is the only thing that makes me happy. I'm not even sad because of this.

Banned from everything. Rejected by everybody. And then they'll say I'm to blame that I'm schizophrenic. Shine light into darkness.(you're allowed to stay, but don't post frogs)

My rooster that I've had for ten years, who I consider my best friend and love more than anyone else, died Wednesday night. He was my only friend. He lived in the house with me and was the only thing that would make me feel better when the rest of my life would weigh down on me. I would go hold him and the rest of life would disappear and that would be all that would matter. I keep forgetting now for a few moments, that I can't go see him and hold him anymore.

I have had depression for my whole life adolescence onward, and I was afraid even 5-6 years ago of this day and thought it would be unsurvivable, and now it's here, and I do want to die. I dont want to live in a world where he isn't here with me. The initial shock has worn off and it's sinking in that my best friend is gone, and I'm not going to see him again. My mother is the only other positive presence in my life, because she knew how much I love him. She has stage 4 cancer and it's still unclear if she's going to survive it or not. She's essentially the only reason why I have not shot myself already. She was never abusive or cruel to me, so I couldn't do that to her even though I don't want to live anymore.

Did you ever have an animal that meant this much to you? People are cruel and petty and small. If an animal loves you it's genuine, they dont have ulterior motives or social performance.