/dep/ - Depression

Reminder to take your vitamins, especially "fish oil" one " Vitamin D3



they say Vitamin D3, because "Vitamin D" sounds like an euphemism, kekeke

Is it even possible to break this cycle?

>me 10 years ago
>I'm so behind everyone I'm such a loser
>it will take years for me to see any progress
>I will be old by the time my efforts may pay off
>depressed end up doing nothing

>me 5 years ago
>fuck I'm 30 soon and haven't achieved anything this is so embarassing
>start drinking to cope

>me now
>god I was such an idiot back then why didn't I start doing something years ago I was still young
>now I am pushing 40 and it's over for real
>bedrotting every day 0 motivation to do anything cant even distract myself with anything anymore

Post here if you don't have enough to say for a new thread, but it's too depressing for the crawl thread.
/wiz/ tier room setups edition.

The past really wasn't that bad for the people that survived.

Looking into it, famines basically just killed off people under 4, the elderly, and people aged 20-40 almost universally survived. Like even the potato famine has only 2% of the 20-40 year old cohort die, 1/50 is pretty good survival odds for your core productive and breeding population. That's like 1 person out of two classrooms, and it probably hit the really poor and lower classes. It looks bad with 18% of the population dying on paper, but considering people over 50 don't have kids and kids under 4-10 can be replaced instantly with a post war baby boom, it's demographically not that impactful. It's why Ethiopia's population doubled so rapidly after their famine, and India bounced back from the Bengal famine like it was nothing.

In World war 1, 16% of the French male population aged 18-45 died, making it significantly more demographically impactful than the Irish potato famine, because they were at the age where they were supposed to be having families and providing.

Famines weren't even people really starving to death that often. They mostly got killed off by an infection due to having a weakened immune system, or ate some risky food and got a disease that way. Famines seemed to displace people who then go into crowded cities, drink shitty water, and then get an infection. Famines seemed to hit once every 15 years or so, so typically you'd experience two really shit years in your adult life and then finally get dealt to in the third one as an old person. It more fucked up your family planning than anything else.

It seemed to have an economically positive effect for the actually healthy and productive part of the population in that it cleared away dependents. Immediately after the famine there'd be more available land per person and the available resources for a baby boom.

I fucking loathe being autistic, I fucking hate how I can have articulate thoughts in my head yet can only muster and spew out the same few fucking phrases irl because I’m caught off guard and don’t know what to say

I hate how pathetic I am, I’m so fucking clumsy, my hand coordination is awful. Im always dropping shit which only makes me look like more of a retard

Most of all I hate the way other people look at me, there two “looks” I get from people. The first is the pitiful one. They see how pathetic I am, how socially inept, awkward and harmless I am and take pity on me like they would with a dementia patient. The other “look” is the hateful/judgmental one. They assume due to my awkwardness, my uncanny demeanour, ugly face and lack of height that I’m some kind of freak/someone to be suspicious of. They look at me like I’m some kind of sex pest/serial killer when all I’m doing is just existing

I put in the effort, I workout every day, I eat well, I keep good hygiene, I try, lord knows I fucking try, but I have to ask what’s the point? It won’t change anything. I can’t cure this awful plague of the mind I was born with, I’ll never be accepted or even tolerated by normies so why make an effort? Why try in life and work hard when I don’t even get the slightest bit of respect from the people around me? Part of me wants to just stay in my room stuffing my face with junk food and playing vidya all day but if I did that I’d only be more miserable.

Any other wizards have this condition? If so how do you cope with it?

I thought I was a hobby guy who like to spend time on his hobby alone but thats not true, all I care is to talk to people, thats why I come here everyday because I want to talk to someone. I am not an autist asperger with countless of niche hobby and a high IQ, I'm just a low temperture IQ monkey who thought he could fool himself and tricks his brain to think he is a genius but Im not. I wish I was made to do something but Im just a lazy parasyte, it sucks

I've seen studies where they have said that testosterone is at a historical low for many males, testosterone gives you resilience to emotional problems, makes you more competitive, more risk-taking Etc.
I've always been fat and always been highly stressed for most of my life so I'm pretty sure my testosterone has been in the toilet. When I was going through puberty I was extremely fucking horny like any other kid but that didn't really change my behavior or make me better with succubi. I was fucked up back then but I remember my feelings not taking all my attention.

Has anyone gotten testosterone replacement treatments or taken steroids how did it make you feel?

have you ever been told you had no personality? I was told that when I was a kid. it hurts. one day, I asked the psychologist I was told that and if it was true, she said that's not true because some people do that just to put you down, she said. I believed her but now I'm thinking I don't have a personality and people without personality exist and she was wrong (she maybe just said that to make me happier about myself).
I noticed I was a contrarian and thats my whole personality:being contrarian. but everybody can be contrarian therefore it's not a real personality, and so I have no personality. damn it suck being a NPC (I hate that buzzword).
I'm not telling you how to get a personality because it would be fake and it will show, I don't know maybe I just want to know your reactions over this. maybe you too was told you had no personality and can relate to this post and feel like a NPC too.

Any other wizards here that have trouble with speaking "normally" or pronouncing certain letters? This kind of thing occurs naturally to normalfags and it really is just something that should come inherent to everyone. I've had times when I think I'm talking normally but people tell me to stop yelling, or other times when I think I'm talking in above average volume and people tell me I'm being silent. I also struggle to pronounce the letter "s" properly and sound like a spazz which has made me actively avoid certain words. It's just another one of those things that has made me realize how we and normalfags live in an entirely different state of existence. I remember how Chris Chan used to get bullied for his voice among other things, I'm not sure if it is an autistic trait or a consequence of my reclusive life but it has made my anxiety in public worse, and has also totally ruined my dreams of starting a music project one day

had a schizophrenic crisis 6 years ago. because of that I lost 6 years of my life and also the second part of my youth. this will never come back and it just ruined my life. there's nothing I can do but be sad about that and cope.
I lost my ability to enjoy things and starting new things. I also lost good years of maybe school or training I could have done and get a job, but now all I can wish now is to have a bad job because it is all what I deserve.
in two years I'll be a wizard and all my dreams have been crushed by the schizophrenic happening.
all these years, wasted and will never comeback. of course some of you may have it worse but to me this happening crushed my soul and made me more depressed than before.