/dep/ - Depression

taking forever for my two weeks to end
fuck this job
tempted to burn bridge

>>247728
>>247722

I literally work at a slave warehouse picking up boxes for 10 hours straight, sounds easy but no, it fucks up your body if your doing it for 40 or 60 hours straight and it's just awful shit pay. I feel like being a office cuck is better than manual labor or even trades. Trades require you to commute and be around such obnoxious big assholes who will probably bully 99% of wizards anyways. At least as a office cuck, my break won't be raped when I reach 50 or so.

>>247732
all things considered, office cucks are better positions than manual labor.
Anyone saying otherwise is just melodramatic and out-to-lunch on the harsh reality others go through.
The beauty of leaving office cuck jobs is that you just have mental things/stress to process, lost time.
But with manual labor, not only have you lost time, stress - depending on the people around you - but also degradation of body.
Some may claim that sitting around degrades your body too, but that is the fault of the office wagie to not exercise and move around frequently.
While as a laborer, you are already spent to ever bother doing more for your body

t. office cuck

>>247734
Speaking of, still waiting out the last of my two weeks.
Not even sure why I am going through this custom, but whatever.

>>247734
office work is not like the movies bruh
if you get shit on by low iq groids in manual labor you will get labeled a black sheep by chads/stacies in the office the moment you decline their invitation to go out drinking
>you will be the "new guy"
>you will always be the extra they don't need
>you will get unrelated tasks thrown on you and expected to do them
>your coworkers will make up lies and spread rumors about you just for sport
>you will be laying in bed dreading the next day every night for the rest of your life

at least manual labor you can just be quiet and listen to earphones and move your boxes around

>>247707
>the big happy ending was a dozen people winding up in new/renewed happy relationships, most of them including children
Sounds GREAT! What was it?

Every attempt at trying to anything other than refreshing websites or playing casual games never gets anywhere. I'd have a day or two where I make good progress learning programming or working out and then it'll be two or three weeks until I touch them again. I have no idea how to explain my condition other than I just feel like shit and has an excessive aversion to discomfort and lucid self awareness. It's a given that changing your personality is going to be painful but I just don't have the will to go through the pain. What I want and subconsciously fulfill with my behavior is just to forget I exist and simulate a state of unconsciousness while being awake. I don't want to kill myself, only to be unconscious forever, which I feel there is a difference between the two even if I can't articulate it. But I don't have a choice. The clock is ticking and my "self improvement" is not going anywhere, so suicide is really the only realistic solution.

>>247720
I too have this lack of willpower. I've seen that it is quite common nowadays. I wonder what are its possible causes. Maybe it's some form of learned helplessness?

>>247720
There's a book called Atomic Habits. I tried to put its teachings to work but I cannot manage to complete even the first, easiest steps. Maybe it's learned helplessness, maybe it's a self-defeating belief system , maybe it's just some predisposition to waste. I don't know. I think aboriginals aren't too far from the truth when they say that some people are just cursed.

All I care about is getting to the library and playing wow on max settings on their kick-ass pcs

>>247692
My English is very rusty and I don't know how to put it right. Maybe it's about the levels of complexity and the problem of global control. We think our level of complexity is high enough to make us autonomous agents, to imbue us with some kind of 'free will'. But we are wrong. Complexity is relative. We were relatively complex once, but now we are relatively simple.

'They' means 'They, who have tools for prediction and control'. Almost everything is just a tool for control now. Almost everyone too, even your relatives is a perfect backdoor through which 'they' can control your behavior. We have endlessly rising asymmetry of information, ubiquitous CCTV, neural nets, and predictive machines of all kinds. 'All unstable processes we shall control', Von Neumann would be delighted.

Total control implies the end of evolution, the end of randomness and chance. The chance is a very rare and useful resource, more useful than iron and oil. Throughout history we have thousands of poets, artists, and musicians, who worked as amplifiers of chaos, pumping the randomness from winds, sea storms, and hurricanes. Now we have none. All our chances and randomness now belong to 'them'.

When I was a child, I had only the low-resolution summer with 8-bit clouds, and it was enough to be happy - because I was free in my little Neverland. But now I feel free nowhere. Let's take wizchan, for example. For the last few years, I have been reading lots of generic posts about how evil the succubi are and how wageslavery sucks. Of course, they are evil. Of course, it sucks. Well, we all agreed. But what is the next step? What'll we be discussing tomorrow? The problem is there is no next step. Because tomorrow we will discuss the same topic and agree again. And again, and again. The discourse is predictable, its axes are fixed, and that means we are under total control, and have no free will at all.

But I ask myself, why are we bother about that trivial normal shit in the first place? Why did we forget our little Neverlands?

It's not the end of the wizards that come. It's the end of the fairies too. The end of the dragons, the end of the elves and the dwarves. The end of chance, the end of the miracle. Not in the literal sense, but the sense of strange and unpredictable ways of life.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>247700
How do you usually like to occupy your time?

>>247499
You know, I never thought about it, but yeah, they really ridiculed us for being juvenile and now people are comparing world events to Avengers.

>>247704
>they really ridiculed us for being juvenile and now people are comparing world events to Avengers.
There are funkopops of politicians.

>>247727
Guess I just have to accept life was always a parody of itself, if I was hurt or depressed by life it's because I didn't realize the genre.
[Insert Joker quote here unironically]. Guess the movie was interesting in the sense that it did the opposite. Took those cartoon heroes and tried to make it a message.

>>247227
It’s just super handwavy CBT.l, which in itself is just a shitty, victim-blaming version of “just don’t worry about it bro” which in the past was accomplished by having people take hallucinogens in their adolescence or every once in a while.

>>247280
Back to 4chan

>>247338
I remembe reading something similar to this about assertiveness.

Napoleon Hill was a failed salesman and a dummy. His boss tasked him with coming up with a new way to scam money from people. He came up with self-improvement because the results can't be measured and most people are desperate.

>>247723
Ok, what about Alan Turing?

>>247674
what do you want people to say?

>>247675
Not these dumb, annoying, anti-wizardly comments, at least

>>247620
Conflict is a fundamental human need, words can only change so much. You must defeat your brother in open combat in order to assert yourself as the alpha of the family.


It's the only way, im sorry that's just how the demiurge made us.

>>247679
I'm starting to realize that's true. At 24 years of age. Realize or re-realize after being told otherwise.

My brother smokes drugs too and he and his girlfriend stay in the house when I wish I could be here alone. If I was, I could be here by myself for ten hours a day which I could do housework and make my parents more content with me staying here. They aren't happy with the lack of housework being done, so because I don't want to leave my room because of these two junkies, my parents' wrath falls on me too.

>>247449
Im in my late 20s

I'm 33 now and honestly, my.life is in a repeating cycle of work and distract.

I'm only delaying the inevitable but hey, you do what you have to do right?

>>247190
If it's any help wizzie I learnt to enjoy the emptiness at like 29.
I recommend reading the "Daily Stoic". It helped me a bit.

>>247190
It's a natural progression. Just as your body ages and declines the same happens to your brain. Mental health just gets worse with age.

I have no copes left. I stare at the ceiling a lot because everything is a chore.

Life ends at childhood.

>>247582
Don't worry about it.
Some of them are too afraid to have negative feelings they don't even know how to dislike. They banish those "bad" emotions into their shadow.
Other normans have the guts to tell you straight away if they like you or not.
Worst case, you're just forgettable and they don't have a strong opinion on you neither good nor bad.

>>247592
This, you have to have this very rigid type of "self-respect" which for people like us is often just dumb arrogance and pride.

>>247585
Because it comes off as weak, desperate, and insecure. Normals don't want to be associated with any of that because it drags their status down.

Asking people if they like you is awkward and you can't expect people to give you an honest answer since most people don't wanna be bothered with things like that.

>>247582
Well they are saying that they don't really like you, but just in such a way as to make it sort of unclear and avoid focusing on that fairly negative fact.
You probably don't mind seeing things like that, but if you take their statement and yours both are true and both describe this situation, one simply focuses on the fact of your relative exclusion (they don't like you as much as other people) and the other focuses on the fact of your relative inclusion (this doesn't mean they really dislike you, it's fairly minor and could be much worse were they a hateful personality).

>>247486
This is a good post.

It used to be, really bad, nearly holocaust level. I thought I'd never get out of there in one piece. I've had the gurney in my face, I get drugged for days at a time, black out half a week sometimes, prison-coma stays and every encounter with the police is hell. I swear to god one shot me and I needed full reconstructive to not be a retard. I'm not to mention that my booty is a pin cushion in the psych ward either, and it is.. they nearly killed me with Geodon in there and they used to love clapping me there. Anyway, in my psych ward days, shit was rough, I used to eat propofol tablets all the time to try to sleep and only wake up for meals. I'd also get really snowed on ativan and have a good cry a lot of days, lots of days of that, many weeks spent in a deep depression.
And you overestimate how long our lives will be. I assume you've not hit rock bottom yet, just wait. You need money to make it stop. On a day to day basis I'm not suffering though, it seems to coincide with wartime.

Yeah I feel like Zeus has a cursed thunder bolt over my head. That God or Nature is just so stingy with me, not begruding me any good at all IRL. Only solution to escape from IRL as much as possible

>>247486
>Maybe it's conformation bias but surely there's a reason these things happen in the first place.
There isn't. You already know the answer, you said it the previous sentence even. Sometimes life just shits on people and through a huge variety of random circumstances piled atop another throughout life, you end up with nothing but negative experiences which fuck you right up mentally. People aren't usually actively malicious, so just let go of the need to point fingers. It's not their fault and it's not yours. Life really does just suck shit.

>>247486
Good post, I feel for you and the schizoid lone wolf type is apt description of what I want to be in this world now that I gave up.

>>247573
>Maybe being stuck in loony asylum would make doctors actually give a fuck.
sounds like you dont want to die and just want some help so why not go to a mental hospital?

>>247573
There is a good point made by >>247587 that if you are going to overdose while imagining going to a loony asylum… you should just check yourself in.
However I don't know what you expect from such a place. You should be aware of the risk that you may be stuck there against your will, unable to die.
Overdosing effects: damage your body, perhaps get sympathy from family, perhaps strengthen claims for government bucks. But if it's just to make doctors take you seriously, that's not really logical generally.
If you actually want to die then you should take no chances and go to the extreme of snorting 10x the deadly dose of heroin or fentanyl in an isolated location that you won't be found.

>>247609
good advice OP should really just check themselves in but I disagree with it being hard to get out of the mental hospital. The danger is forced brain zapping to cure you but that only happens to people who are always trying and failing to kill themselves. They let you walk out if you give them no reason to keep you in.

Try to get a strong opioid

>>247611
>I disagree with it being hard to get out of the mental hospital
It depends on the country and the person I suppose. Some wizzes might be so fucked up that they cant even pretend to be normal enough

>>247643
Wow it's just like in Harry Potter

You know that makes them ultra-sad people right? Wizchan is nowhere near popular enough to make it a worthwhile investment of lulz.

What else would you expect out of failed normalfags but trying to cope with their own shitty lives by laughing at others' misfortune?

Moved to >>>/meta/60727.