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File: 1786228284074.jpeg (3.82 KB, 275x183, 275:183, Tt.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.309621[Reply]

Does anyone else hate his own body? I hate mine so much, I feel uncomfortable in my own body the whole time, it doesn't matter what I'm doing, I feel dirty, sick, detqched from my body. I want to get out of my body.
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.309633

>>309626
Yes it's like a prison where guards can take the prisoners out into the yard so that they can take some of the sun and play any sport, and on another day they can give them a cold shower or get hurt by another prisoner.
Our bodies are like an unfair prision for our innocent souls

 No.309635

A bit. I'm trying to cultivate a style or persona that's "me" though and that has been kind of fun. The danger is turning into a walking social media profile so I try not to make politics, hobbies or lifestyles the look. I'll never be normal so why not lean into the eccentric?

 No.309636

>>309635
>A bit. I'm trying to cultivate a style or persona that's "me" though and that has been kind of fun
How is that? Where do you get such an idea from?


> I try not to make politics, hobbies or lifestyles the look
I cannot avoid doing that, at least with my hobby. Then, what do you make the look about?

 No.309637

>>309636
It's a balance of course, one runs the risk of turning into a "look at meeeee" situation or annoying everyone.

Minimalism, thrifting, homesteading, hippies, van life - alternative lifestyles have a lot to draw from without totally aping a specific lifestyle look. I guess for a specific example, I'm trying to avoid looking like "420 guy" and buying all weed stuff or something.

 No.309638

>>309636
>Where do you get such an idea from?
Boredom mostly. Gathering items and trying to make sense of them (clothes in this case) keeps the mind busy and passes time.


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 No.309031[Reply]

whenever you're depressed or sad, come here and draw something using Oekaki. you can draw whatever you want
71 posts and 57 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.309615

>>309609
Is that Sprinkleberry Skibidirizz Fizzlepop?

 No.309620

File: 1786225863072.png (10.67 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

I don't want to wake up anymore

 No.309629

File: 1786259214087.png (19.98 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

I have never drawn on a phone before, i was not sure if Oekaki would even work on phone

 No.309631

File: 1786270771370.png (126.07 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb


 No.309632

>>309279
how chocobickdnack wizbar taste like?


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 No.309114[Reply]

>The more I seclude myself the more I long for human connection
>The more I interact with the 3D world the more I just want to be left alone
I literally cannot win in this life
I am always worried about doing the wrong thing, I am always lamenting all of my errors of the past
I hardly actually live
21 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.309263

>>309262
I was also thinking of getting a bird like a parrot but I don't like to keep animals and especially birds in a cage

Though boundaries are important to keep animals safe, but there's something soul crushing about seeing an animal that is naturally the most free stuck in a cage

 No.309265

>>309263
Somewhat sad in a way, you have to break their spirit. They become excited for food, being let out, and to see you. It's not the natural way but flags the reward centers in their brains. I'm glad I had the experience but probably wouldn't do it again.

 No.309584

I feel you, it's like touching a hot stove, only to feel the overwhelming urge to touch it again, even though you know what's going to happen and you do it anyway, ad infinitum.

 No.309593

there.is no.middle ground

 No.309619

>>309584
Strange example, why would anyone get an overwhelming urge to touch a hot stove , anon?


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 No.309319[Reply]

I wasted 12 years of my life being stuck in shitty apartment with my in a third world country
This includes all of my teen hood as well as a bit of my adulthood
After realizing this, I got depressed. I just wish I could have done more things that were more important to me, such as starting out drawing earlier and moving out of that shitty apartment. It just hurt how much time I wasted being terminally ill online while being stuck in hell.
I am not sure how to get over this. I have time. I am 23, but still knowing that my life could have been better in the 2010s and the early 2020s hurts me deeply. I wish I was smarter. I wish my mom was not a lazy whore who constantly smokes and eats, and she sold that fucking apartment earlier so we could find somewhere better for life.
5 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.309335

im super bored right now
what are you doing?

 No.309476

23 here aswell, 2002 baby. Do you think our generation is fucked? Do you think people like us will be late bloomers? I dont know anymore. I envy everyone who achieved things in their teens and early 20s. To have something to call their own. Must be nice.

Does it get unbearable sometimes? The pain in your chest? This heavy pressure weighing you down, keeping you paralyzed? Its crushing isnt it…

 No.309502

>>309319
I hate to be an optimist, but im 35 and i can tell you, at 23, you do still have time. you've got about 7 years. you just have to get on the first rung of the ladder and climb whatever path you decide to set out on. after about 30, you simply will not be willing to do anything. I've accepted who i am and the fate which that entails. its gonna be a life of mediocrity, regret, and sullenness. I could've done alot more but I tucked my tail and consoled myself in isolation and self pity around 25. I could've stepped up and faced adversity but i didn't.

 No.309617

>>309476
was born in 2002 as well
honestly at this point i really dont know
>>309502
i have still time but i am afraid it not enough for me and my goals like the time is getting fast and there is no time for me to relax and just have fun and not care about the future like i used too

 No.309618

>>309476
I don't think "late bloomers" exist. At least not in large enough numbers to be relevant
Adults don't change that much. They just snowball whatever they learned in their formative years, whether that was good or bad or like many here simply nothing much at all.


 No.301895[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Starting a new anti-suicide general as the original has been bump-locked.

Helping wizards to understand that persuasive feelings of suicide can be bested.

Further the discursive spirit of this thread will remain the same as the first: to counter the general luring tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads through sharing positive practical advice purposed to reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.

(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care (many have already done this, to no worthwhile avail)
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain. Delimiting ingestion of both is wise.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open whichever windows punctuate your room and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.

I've done my part. Anyone else?
107 posts and 17 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308983

>>308779
probably very few people have ever done this.

 No.309232

>>308555
I can't remember feeling ill after eating regular store-bought candies/snacks when I was young either but whenever I do now I feel very ill. It's like all the food has been poisoned.

 No.309233

>>309232
"Mexican mix" (carrots, potatoes, beans, some other vegetables)?

Carrots steamed with seasoning?

Eggs with seasoning?

Bananas?

 No.309410

>>309233
Do you have any good recipes you want to share?

 No.309613

>>304109
demiurge made it too difficult to leave this world


[Last 50 Posts]

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 No.301262[Reply]

It's Saturday night and I started taking a new antidepressant called Mirtazapine (15mg) on Thursday night.

This is my 10th or so attempt at a psychiatric medication. I've tried lots of therapy too.

Wish me luck anonymages. I was about to quit my job but watched some motivational videos on autoplay on Youtube for hours and as cheesy as it was, they convinced me to give this a go.

I didn't even get these prescribed recently. It was way back last year and then I just didn't take them because this particular medicine has a reputation for making people really fatigued.

It does put me to sleep. But, maybe that's ok. If it means I can find some happening apart from fapping and dreaming while I sleep.

Maybe it'll even help me turnaround my fortunes at work where it looks like I'm sliding towards a firing or just being unable to come in. Barely stopped myself raging at my boss the other day and took 2 weeks sick leave from stress afterwards. I need to swallow some humble pie come Monday and hopefully these pills help. Being off work for 2 weeks showed me I'm just as miserable and actually more so depressed, anxious and stressed not working despite all the antiwork slogans I collect.
65 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.309245

>>309238
I need to wait until I live by myself. My parents will snitch to my doctor if they know I don't take them anymore. And I suck at lying.

 No.309247

>>309245
>My parents will snitch to my doctor
SO
FUCKING
WHAT?!?

 No.309268

>>301262
just take oxy and u will thank me

 No.309422

>>309268
they don't prescribe it anymore
and besides the new "OP" pills produced by (((purdue))) are complete garbage

 No.309612

>>307628
If you're still around, I wish you a full recovery wiz.


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 No.308343[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

The Time God does not forget nor forgive edition. You will do this again.

Previous: >>307210
234 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.309596

>>309594
> I always carry a sharp weapon when going out even if it's illegal, that still makes me safer than taking MMA ever could
sure, if you can actually stab and cut people with no problem

 No.309600

>>309596
It's mainly about intimidation, actually using it is just a last resort. I don't see how learning MMA would help me when most physical altercations I can imagine would be with packs of feral browns/niggers, in those cases a small knife is more intimidating than punching and kicking, which has little chance of being lethal, they won't mind taking a hit or two knowing they'll end up surrounding you and then stomp your head until you're braindead. With any sharp weapon though, either I go to prison for defending myself or I die, and if I die at least one of them will come with me. Casually being caught with a sharp weapon by the police is no worry, here it's just a small fine first offense.

 No.309602

>>309600
if a nigger saw you knocking out with one punch another nigger from his pack he'd run away like a nigger bitch

 No.309605

File: 1786101146859.gif (2.64 MB, 320x240, 4:3, 1680109608216479.gif) ImgOps iqdb

>>309600
>I don't see how learning MMA would help me
There's degrees to it. Learning MMA purely in a gym/sporting context (IE: 1v1 in a controlled environment) won't help you much in a street fight. But learning any non-bullshit form of martial arts will give you a decent understanding of range and positioning, so you're better equipped if you do find yourself in a situation where you suddenly need to use your sharp implement for something more than intimidation.
>a small knife is more intimidating than punching and kicking, which has little chance of being lethal
Against an untrained fighter, you can land a good punch to the chin or even throat that will incapacitate them temporarily (or permanently if you hit their throat or their head hits concrete hard enough). But that falls apart if the other person has even a little experience in fighting. And yeah, if I had multiple people after me, I'd rather have a knife on hand than rely solely on my fists.
All this being said, your first tool should always be situational awareness; you can't lose a fight if you never fall into one to begin with.

 No.309611

>>309551 why do you have to go live with a gay relative? is there nobody else?


[Last 50 Posts]

File: 1768405638123.jpg (247.61 KB, 1280x960, 4:3, dreams.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.305228[Reply]

I think age 31-32 was the point where I realized I'm too autistic and weird to ever have 'normal' things in life.

I will die either institutionalized or in some shitty rental with nothing to my name. Nothing that I dreamed about will ever become true.
35 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.309499

>>305228
Since 25 its as if the film reel that is my life ran out of film and it just kept spinning and projecting a blank screen.

There was never a sense of urgency for me to "adapt" and get a respectable career once i graduated college. That sense of urgency that grips normies and compels them to achieve, network, form relationships just didn't exist in me. i never gave a shit about other people around me or my reputation etc. My parents divorced when i was 7 and i don't think they actually wanted to have children. Mom was abusive and died, dad is emotionally distant and never seemed to have actively engaged with me to mold and shape me into a functional adult. he just let me do whatever, so i just lazed around and fucked off.

I have this instinctive laziness. I bowed out of any classes that involved math or numbers at all. Got a worthless degree. I'm 35 now and I've been working as an overnight security guard for the past 4 years. I literally do nothing all night for 8 hours. I just sit at a desk. I'm on the clock typing this right now.

I feel like you have to be on some kind of continual, upward trajectory so that by the time you're 30 you're established and at cruising altitude; financially, professionally, socially, and romantically. I did "nothing" all of my 20s.

I enjoy the simple pleasures of life. a cigarette alone at the park, a local pizza, good pilsner, good books, and having peace and quiet without pressure from the world of normies or my family

 No.309583

>>309499
I feel as though I also had this weird sense of laziness during my 20s. I always had healthy anxiety to get things done, but I always thought things would eventually fall into place. Coincidentally I spent my 20s as a security guard until I decided to get a CDL. At 34 I now have this sense of finality. This is it. This is my life until I die, which I hope is soon.


>I enjoy the simple pleasures of life. a cigarette alone at the park, a local pizza, good pilsner, good books, and having peace and quiet without pressure from the world of normies or my family

I used to so the same but food no longer tastes like anything and beer just makes me fall asleep before getting fully drunk. It's as though my brain is telling me it's time to go and there's nothing more to do, not even have fun.

 No.309590

>>309583
>beer just makes me fall asleep before getting fully drunk

Wtf me too. Is this just an old person thing?

 No.309595

>>305228
I don't know what "for the better" would even mean. I have no dreams or ambitions or goals. If I could ask a genie for anything in the world I don't know what would help me without completely restructuring my personality to be a totally different person.
I guess the answer is no since I don't believe it's actually possible to rewire your personality in that way.

 No.309603

>>309590
I have no idea, it certainly seems like it.


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 No.307650[Reply]

I have become increasingly depressed at the state of discourse about almost any subject. Look at the opinions of most people and discuss their reasoning with them; they do not really have reasons based on experience or logic. They are just saying things they think are normal to say. They imitate others. They understand the world through memes. Zero actual curiosity or critical thinking skills when it comes to discussion of politics/culture/history/science/art. Everyone just parrots what they think others think. They think in memes. Partly to fit in and achieve social acceptance and partly just monkey see monkey do like a child or animal.

Democracy is a failure because most people have no idea what they are voting for or what the consequences will be. They just follow the cultural memes. The internet has exacerbated this. Most people’s political views or views on the culture are just glorified SIX SEVEN repetitions - people have no good justification for any of the ideas they follow.

It might sound arrogant and supercilious to say these things. I worry that I am not that different and I just copy things sometimes by instinct. Makes me wonder if the self even fucking exists and we are just biological self replicating robots copying things.

Depressing. Enraging.
12 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308922

>>308903
Before I read an "in-a-nutshell" explanation of his ideas and some of the examples maybe…





…i would like to say I do find myself in the situations when the very feel of being pushed to the limit creates strong emotional feedback within my mind.

 No.309003

>>308903
Thank you for this recommendation. This is fascinating. Listening to a podcast about him. Yes, the theory of desire being mimetic makes sense. As does the idea that the subject of copying becoming a rival. This being a basis of violence. Therefore competitive violence is, for want of a better word, natural or inevitable. Scapegoating becomes the way of attaining stability. Makes sense. One can see it in schools.

 No.309566

I know what you mean. The worse thing is what this means for effective education, law and order and politics. If people are just copiers then it sort of defeats the purpose of democracy. Nobody can even agree on what words mean so rational debate becomes fraught if not impossible (Hobbes).

Progressive parenting and schooling is built on the idea that kids behaviour is either rationally driven or driven by emotional problems created by experiences. e.g. ‘little Billy is acting out and getting angry because of some trauma that needs to be listened to.’ Similarly progressive approaches to law and order rest on the same concept; ‘people commit crimes because they had broken childhoods or make a rational decision because they are desperate for money and food.’
By contrast more conservative approaches to crime see it as a fundamental moral failing - sin.

If I am right and a lot of human behaviour is driven by literal f all except copying other and habit then it means that quite a lot of crime and violence and disruptive behaviour really is straightforwardly fixable by brainwashing, training and habit building.

 No.309577

>>307650
>Makes me wonder if the self even fucking exists and we are just biological self replicating robots copying things.

I don't know why you would ever consider those two things to be mutually exclusive.

 No.309597

>>309577
Yeah I did not explain the context as I was in an emotional state at the time of writing. I had been reading some Buddhist texts - one story about Nagasena and King Milinda stuck out to me.
You can read it for yourself: https://suttacentral.net/mil1/en/kelly?lang=en&layout=plain&reference=none&notes=asterisk&highlight=false&script=latin

I thought the only response to Nagasena’s thesis was that humans consciousness was the khanda that provided reality to the self. However, I have realised generally speaking human beings are not really conscious at all of their decisions. We just do things and our consciousness comes second. Our thoughts we experience are not our own. They come from another khanda not the conscious part. Our decisions and actions do not come from the conscious part of the khanda. They just arise and then we experience them then we pretend we made that decision. We are like robots.
Very depressing and disturbing.


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 No.306449[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

What is the average wizard's relationship with religion like? No religious person has ever been able to give me a good argument for why God, if he is out there, is not the most maximally evil being in the universe simply by the virtue of creating suffering when he could have chosen not to. Saying "suffering builds character" and derivatives of is just a manifestation of their stockholm syndrome for this vile entity

>I form the light, and create darkness. I make peace, and create evil. I YHWH do all these things - Isaiah 45:7
186 posts and 21 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.309469

File: 1785614929720.jpg (59.31 KB, 405x720, 9:16, oar2-694647185.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>309439
I more afraid of a god making some ones human experience worth and happy but others as a total subhuman shit than IT just taking the idea of sex.
>Also
For some people, god is just sex. And they believe that sex is just the unique path to heaven, there exist other paths to heaven and are very human and kind.
I alone, there's no god where i am.

 No.309470

>>309469
repent bro

 No.309523

File: 1785795112640.png (246.36 KB, 1200x600, 2:1, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb


 No.309580

File: 1785968083704.jpg (389.79 KB, 1200x878, 600:439, Pieter_Bruegel_the_Elder_-….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

religion makes a lot more sense and actually came full circle and became a source of inspiration again, once I realized Yahweh is the villain

 No.309589

>>309523
I personally didn't really care to post in this thread or enter into this discussion much, but I will say that the quote you've posted sums up (mostly) my thoughts on the existence and misguided worship of God.


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