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File: 1761848985721.png (1.81 MB, 2500x1415, 500:283, Still Michael English 2.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.303825[Reply]

Would they? I've been thinking.

My mom is already LDAR'ing due to the debt and she's already lost one child, so I think either by suicide or stress she would die. My dad? He didn't seem to care that much when my stepbro died, but I am his firstborn. I don't know really. My little brother would probably just turn into me. That's my only concern. Everyone else, would cry for a day maybe.
33 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308237

>>308236
k

 No.308285

>>303825
I have a friend who would care I think.
Though not in a devastating way I believe since he has other friends too. I'm fine with that if it ever comes to that.
Mom might care too I guess, but likely in a relief kinda way.

 No.308300

>>307075
That is the thing nigga. You don't have to do anything. And that is exactly why people want you to die.

 No.308736

File: 1782513197091.png (762.26 KB, 976x1056, 61:66, 17798107060300003572.png) ImgOps iqdb

Well…


My immediate family would have been at each other throats screaming "how come you didn't see he was going to do this". Some people I know would get sad and get drunk thinking how come *this world* isn't built to recognize and nurture talented people's talents as if the country has evolved backwards to the 1800s. Maybe some of my relatives would get a silent trauma thinking they could have prevented this…



…OR MAYBE the case would have been classified as an accident and the relatives would shit on me for being careless. I can imagine some yobs' litter (beer bottles, vodka bottle, snack wraps) would have been linked to my rotten body, resulting in the "case of death: drunk like a skunk" final lie in my tragic story of being forced to live in the world woven of lies, damn lies.

 No.308869

>>303825

No.

But I do wonder, if the Western world is so concerned about crabs and the acts of violence they're associated with…

Why isn't the topic of providing assisted suicide for crabs discussed? If crabs are inherently worthless people, a detriment or even hazard towards society; why not help thin their numbers?


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 No.308855[Reply]

Does anyone else envy those people who say "I have 12\6\4 (etc) month to live"?
Imagine KNOWING for sure -more or less- how many time you have left; all the impunity, courage, quickness and nimbleness, resolution and firmness, with which you would do anything and everything.
I envy such people!
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308858

>>308857
You can splurge right now and die if that's any comfort.

 No.308859

>>308858
It's not the same, there's something about being cursed by wasting diseases that makes even killers afraid

 No.308860

>>308858
I literally can't convince my monkey brain to off my own self.

 No.308861

sometimes i envy people when i hear they died.
>he died suddenly in his sleep
i wish that were me ffs. i don't have it in me to actually kill myself and natural death is unlikely for several decades…

 No.308868

I'd like to off myself in the distant future for multiple reasons but I'm afraid that when the time comes I bitch out or it has become harder to find resources for painless methods. Because of that, if a doctor told me right now that I will die in about a year or so, it would lift a huge burden off me. I don't think I would do much though, no hedonism because that always feels like a waste so instead maybe writing a book or something to leave behind. At last I'd go to Japan and off myself before my time comes in whatever beautiful and relatively isolated landscape I can find, and humbly ask in my suicide note to be buried in that country, not because I'm a weeb but because it's the only fair country left on Earth.


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 No.308862[Reply]

I wasted years of my life working and started college late. Last year, I began a degree program in psychology education to see if later I could handle a degree in psychology or become a therapist, and in short it was a disaster. I felt like a damn alien next to my classmates, and I didn’t feel comfortable in class, not with them, not with anything.
This year, I decided to start studying another major focused on the hobbies i love, music related things as hobby. I decided to try music education, and so far everything’s going well, and I even feel comfortable with my classmates, but the social aspect is still killing me.

>What's you cant handle?
>Vocal education
I can't handle vocal training classes I usually freeze up and can't even sing a scale. The strange thing is, I don't know if the teacher plays favorites, but she treats the succubi better, from what I've seen, they've been singing for a while, sing in church choirs around religious things etc, or already have experience with singing and high notes. I don't notice her treating the men the same way or giving them the same attention, and most of the guys haven't practiced singing before. Last time, she told me I don’t sing because I strive too much for perfection i dont believe this is true but this didnt help in anything. I don’t know if she misunderstood me or if she hates me, but I’m not sure if she understands that I can’t control my nerves and i actually told she about this. one day she just told me something in the lines of go to a psychologist bla bla Obviously, I failed her exams. maybe i the problem or she even tried to help much. maybe i will try to change to another teacher next year i dont know.

>Language and music theory problem
The language and music theory classes started a little late, but I love them (with piano classes), and the fun part comes in the later semesters. My only problem is that, because of some university policy, they make us record ourselves and… oh my god, I hate my fucking face. I’ve never liked recording myself, and they even make us record ourselves singing, which is even worse, because I can’t even stand in front of a camera for two seconds without go full into a panic attack of nervers and sadness. i hate mirrors and watching myself in recordings.

I’m seriously thinking about dropping out of this program because I knoPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.308865

>drop out of university bacause of self-steem

When I was in university/college, I knew enough (both male and female) who had these thoughts. Some did drop out. Others remained. Of course I can't speak to what you must be particularly feeling inside yourself personally, but I can say that from my own experiences with classmates/peers who had varying self-esteem issues of all types (eg, convinced they were unattractive, convinced others were mocking them, looking down on them, excluding them, etc.) that 99% of the time these individual issues whereon they had laid so much anxiety and stress appeared to me (as an outside observer) to be completely socially insignificant and things of a sort I would not even have had a consciousness of if they had not confided their worry of them in me.

>The language and music theory classes started a little late, but I love them (with piano classes), and the fun part comes in the later semesters. My only problem is that, because of some university policy, they make us record ourselves and… oh my god, I hate my fucking face.

That's excellent. You've found something you truly enjoy. And I'm sure it'll only get better as you advance higher and higher. To quit something you like this much owing only to insecurity around appearance seems like an unwise choice. I highly doubt you look as bad as you imagine yourself to.

>I can't handle vocal training classes I usually freeze up and can't even sing a scale. The strange thing is, I don't know if the teacher plays favorites, but she treats the succubi better,

All teachers play favorites. Whether music teachers, philosophy teachers, math teachers, english teachers. They all have their favorites. Partiality towards others is human nature and is found everywhere. I dealt with professors who strongly disliked me and oftentimes for reasons I never even understood. If the favoritism shown by this specific instructor however is so great, is there any chance you could find another related instructor who would take you on and through whom you could fulfill your required credit load?

>I just want to disappear,

Again, I knew at least 4-5 students in my own time in university who voiced those exact words "I want to disappear". I remember a few of them stayed within their dorms forasmuch as they could (avoiding in-Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.308866

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>>308862
I drop out of uni after one year of history studies because I couldn't handle all the presentation to give in front of the whole class. it was too much for me; it was like a humiliation ritual (speaking in front of everyone)

 No.308867

well, I can relate to a lot of what you said here, even the acne scars part. You did well in dropping out of psychology, unless that degree actually has a high employment rate in your country. You won't find jobs with a music degree unless you're lucky or quite talented, but at least it may fulfill you, although you could also learn that by yourself which is what I decided to do in my creative hobby. The only benefit of going to college for such a degree in the age of the internet is guidance and discipline, and you don't necessarily need college to get those. There's also making contacts with other people but that relies on what people are available to interact with in your class, if it's only normaloids you may have a hard time making any friends at all. I also think like so many others that modern college is a huge scam, not only of your money but most importantly of your time and youth, but I can only speak from personal experience in my country. I was going to click post, but I also read that you don't want to go back to NEETing, it's certainly not for everybody so I suggest you stay there for a little while and calmly consider what to do in the future, no self-help books or anon wizards have the right answer to that, since we don't know you personally enough to know what's best for your specific case.


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 No.308343[Reply]

The Time God does not forget nor forgive edition. You will do this again.

Previous: >>307210
80 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308826

at 34, i have accepted that there is nothing left for me but to rot and pray my psych meds keep me sane enough to not go on a psychotic rampage. i will regret every opportunity i fumbled, every relationship i sabotaged for the rest of my miserable existence.

 No.308827

If they remade It's a Wonderful Life for modern times, it would just be George Bailey's job getting replaced by some indian guy from Blackrock. His wife would have met some other guy on tindr and the town would still go to shit anyway.

 No.308828

>>308810
Is your back okay?

 No.308850

never been so hopelessly depressed. its one thing to feel shit and at least hope for something, to have a potential route out. its another to get there only to lose it. like the train arrived at the platform but broke down 1/8th the way there. sometimes i think im the most miserable person in the entire world.

 No.308863

>>308343

I made it to 34 boys, I couldn't feel more left behind. I bought a bottle of whiskey but I hardly even get drunk anymore, often I'll just fall asleep before feeling anything. It's over, isn't it?


 No.308831[Reply]

There is nothing worse than being dumb, yet smart enough to know the fact that you are dumb. I am constantly forced to live with knowing that i am too stupid to handle even the simplest of tasks, everytime somebody corrects me on something obvious that i should have known i feel so fucking worthless.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308838

>>308836
What, so you can make fun of him?

 No.308839

can relate. advice: suffer better

 No.308851

>>308838
I am not like that. I want to understand well, i think he might be exaggerating

 No.308853

>>308851
Well havent checked into this site in a while but let me give you some examples
>i messed up some cookies at the local cafeteria i work at by cutting some of them too small,an then repeated that some mistake
>i didnt know how a coffee machine worked since i never drink coffee
>my room and my daily routines are incredibly disorganized

 No.308854

>>308853
just as I expected, you're exaggerating. those are things that you will learn to do well over time. Obviously, you don't know how to do something without previous experience. If people expect to you know things that you don't know, it isn't your problem


 No.308772[Reply]

I’m starting to question who I really am; I feel like I’m losing my mind as memories of my painful past come flooding back. I don’t know who to talk to—who I can actually trust. It feels like no one understands what I’m going through. They tell me I’ll be fine, but I don’t feel fine at all. Every day, every moment—it feels like an endless, vicious cycle. I’m exhausted by all of this, yet I try to appear strong so no one sees me as weak. I know it’s frustrating; I hate everything—the past, the future, everything. It’s all the same; nothing ever changes.

 No.308773

>>308772
sorry you're in the depths right now and it's hard (or impossible) to see a light at the end of the tunnel where you have relief.

Do you have fluctuations in this feeling are there days that somehow you feel back to normal, even if it's fleeting?

Do you want more questions, advice, or something in particular? I can say i relate to the vague yet pervasive existential dread you're experiencing, but i also know being in the thick of it is hard to listen to advice or anything.

Like the fact that there's a grain of truth in what people have said: "you'll be fine" - cus in a sense you got through yesterday's battle - you were technically fine. So what's really going on?

 No.308782

no one will help you
you can trust no one
normies are semi-retarded
the body is a parasyte feeding off the real you
isolation, distrust, paranoia and suicide are good things

 No.308786

It's as if you're crawling in your skin, yes? And the wounds… They will not heal, yes? Maybe go outside. Find something to hate that actually needs to be hated instead of hating yourself.

 No.308791

it'll go away in a few years. the torment never stays the same. something else will give you pain instead

 No.308852

>>308772
I wonder if your food, while tasty, lacks *wellness* which may do some shenanigans to your body, bullshitting you into stress response over some weird deficiency of some bullshit vitamin or microelement.


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 No.308814[Reply]

How do you deal with extreme public humiliation and a destroyed reputation? Shits suicide fuel
10 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308844

>>308843
I don't really deny any of this. And genes do play a significant role, including in the development of temperament and reactions to traumatic social experiences, as in the OP. But how accurately can you predict something like this? Even if you're neurotic, you can certainly learn to cope with this. And you're unlikely to predict the success of the learning until you try.
Genetic testing can reveal a lot, but we still can't predict someone's fate 100%. Moreover, genes reveal more about predispositions.

 No.308846

Has anything really bad happened to any of you? Can you tell?
Because it happened to me. Probably the worst one possible.

 No.308847

>>308846
You first.

 No.308848

>>308846
>Probably the worst one possible.
i doubt it, but tell me

 No.308849

>>308844
>we still can't predict someone's fate 100
you don't need 100%, 98% is enough. the other 2% account for some physics shenanigans that aren't predictable mathematically, such as a car starting to skid and hitting you to death (the good outcome).


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 No.303736[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

You will still be stuck browsing this thread in 2026 edition

previous>>296811
258 posts and 37 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308820

how does heat affect your wageing? it probably sounds inane, but i really have a very hard time moving when it's too hot and i absolutely can't think for the life of me. no matter how hard i try i just can't adjust. this affects my affairs in a very bad way.

 No.308829

File: 1782724962539.mp4 (3.68 MB, 1280x720, 16:9, I'm a hard worker.mp4) ImgOps iqdb

>>308764
>23
You are very young. Things can get so much worse.

>>308820
>it probably sounds inane
It only seems "inane" because the kikes have programmed you to think that way. They don't care if your body is destroyed as long as they get value from it.>I'm only 23

 No.308830

>>308829
damn kikes and their eugenics.

 No.308833

>>308820
Work has a habit of running the place at 74-79 degrees all year round for us (they have commercial AC, the bosses just never leave their 68 degree offices and don't care). That means I just work slow and always carry a small piece of equipment to 'look busy' in case they do wander out of their cushy towers.

 No.308845

I would recommend a technical sales gig. All my co workers detects the autism, and gave the natural reaction normies gave to autists, especially the wom*n and feminized "men". But fortunately I managed to held on to this gig. Overall a very comfy pseudo NEET job. You need to make rather frequent visits to customer, which paradoxically I can do really since without any lingering personal attachments, it appears I have internalized such interactions the way a gamer approach a conversation simulator.


I might even say I do be better in a sense than some of my co-workers in building relationships with customers, for some reason the opposite is happens when it comes to customers, I could shut my mouth most of the time, merely picking the correct conversation options, and they just seem to naturally like me for some reason.


The ultimate perk of this job is technical conversations blend with a bit of a personal touch increase that affinity bar as well if not more than casual conversation. Anyway, as long as you do reasonably ok to maintain your accounts and keep up appearances, you should be ok.

Anyway, you do need to accustomed yourself to replying to messages confidently, and drive to places. Which is comfy, I can listen orthodox saints/ schizotube/ crabtube/ history-geopolitictube/ 40k tube on the way. A lot of decision making responsibility fell to you, but this is still managable, as long as you're fine with management, they were the ultimate fell guy if things go wrong.

Since you are basically your own boss day to day, its more forgiving for neurodivergents. The chanllenges of a white collar job for adhd is still there, but you have more room to mitigate these.


[Last 50 Posts]

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 No.306449[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

What is the average wizard's relationship with religion like? No religious person has ever been able to give me a good argument for why God, if he is out there, is not the most maximally evil being in the universe simply by the virtue of creating suffering when he could have chosen not to. Saying "suffering builds character" and derivatives of is just a manifestation of their stockholm syndrome for this vile entity

>I form the light, and create darkness. I make peace, and create evil. I YHWH do all these things - Isaiah 45:7
135 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308341

Tried to convert to christianism 2 times after reading the Bible just to give some meaning to this life but after some internal strife my mind said nope, I just don't see what would be the point of so much suffering in the world being created just for muh testing, if another human killed your family and claimed that he's testing your soul would you take it kindly? Because that's exactly what happens in the book of Job after satan suggests it to god, the book was likely written by an atheist that hated religion because you can clearly see a change of style in the second half of it where Job just bends over and takes it, that was an addition by jewish priests. My point is if a god was responible (or allowed) for all the killing, raping, torturing, etc., in the world I'd rather go to hell

 No.308345

>>308340
Nah it means that anyone who insists my bad experience is actually somehow good is bullshitting

 No.308566

>>306451
>tempered administrator

Yeah, like one who would actually feed 5000 people with 3 huge bluefin tunas, ergo, with three fishes.

 No.308573

>>308341
Hold on, so Job is a real name?
(Remins me of Paradise Cracked videogame)

 No.308835

>>308341
Now consider that you've been primed and taught that all your life subconciously and it's not actually you making that decision, it's something you've been subtly programmed to think, and to think it's your own idea.

Turtles all the way down.


[Last 50 Posts]

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 No.308091[Reply]

What is everyones thoughts on leaving a suicide note? Is it necessary for closure for others? A way to get everything off your chest before you ack? Or just a waste of time?

I have been staring at my .60 cent retirement plan, and am not sure if I would just like to go out and just have everyone guessing. Or if its right to leave a note. Most of my family thinks I am useless or lazy. However they have no introspection on that they are the ones who raised me.
19 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308744

>>308728
>>308730
I’ve written this before somewhere on the boards of other fora, but I’ll repeat it here as I think it has some worth in sufficing the truth:

Judaism “works”, that is — it is psychologically effectual — because the entire system is rooted in trauma conditioning. I would even go so far as to say that Jewishness or Yiddishkeit (yiddish for jewishness) is properly speaking a series of codified trauma reflexes affixed into the receiving mind at an age when the mind cannot make critical sense of what it is learning. Here’s an adumbrated list showing my thinking:

Circumcision: learned trauma reflex

Exodus (where evil goyim are persecuting you): learned trauma reflex

Holocaust (which we can agree here without any charge of anti-semitism was/is a dramatized historical event): learned trauma reflex

Contemptible goyim who hate you causelessly: learned trauma reflex

Yirat Ha’Shamim (hebrew for “fear of the skies/heaven”, the essential underpinning point of their “education” system, if you can call it that): obvious learned trauma reflex

Mesirah (the halachic precept that is the reflexive antitype of a mafia code enforcing punitive measures against jews who inform on jews to goyish authorities): learned trauma reflex

Kashrut (hebrew for propriety, meaning obviously properness in one’s dietary practices): learned trauma reflex that like circumcision binds the mind of the believing jew into a state of fear and self-chosen exclusion.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.308777

>>308744
interesting take

 No.308780

File: 1782612011829.jpg (340.73 KB, 1151x1600, 1151:1600, Moai-statue-Easter-Island-….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

>>308744
The problem of all religion and cultures is tribalism, bitch attention whore behaviour and absolute self importance with late victimism.
All of these things lead to shit nationalism or destruction of self identity or individual identity into the power of political power like "them" against "us"
There's no more "you" just Us.
This allow tribalism and identity identification without reasoning.
Thing like Jew or Nazi or gay or lesbian or Kekguy or Wiz or Crab lead to absolute total acceptante and reduction of Human condition to a artificial tag like these mask or identity or tribals structure, absolute destroying individuality and Human condition.
A mere simulation of ideal forms that never achieve a psychalystic form in the world of matter.
This is the pure manifestation of eucledian logic in modern world, an antinatural thing that lead of destruction of human condition if it got into power or even in the condition of democracy or totalitarian scheme. Its not about diversity, race, racism, inclussion or pride. Its not about nationalism, religion or political ideas. Its about power in the costume of identities.
There's no middle or "no" or "maybe" just the "this is this and its all".
Non-eucledian logic can turn you into a more human and healthy behaviour against this new artificial robot existence of retarded monkey trowing shit against each others based in stupid identities or "i that thing or" "i good and you bad".
When you achieve non-eucledian logic mindset, you achieve a shield against extreme stupid ideas and can get a big panorama of the real existence from matter world.
That the big "Maybe" in the power of human side, this maybe is the ego-death and dual mind in favor of human side against the robots of the future.
Bacause life and human is a process and not a rigid line of tribal and social machinery.

 No.308785

>>308678
why even care what happens with your stuff

 No.308824

File: 1782696761517.png (315.13 KB, 500x367, 500:367, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

I don't think it's absolutely necessary, it depends if you want them to know about something or not. It can be useful if you want them to do something specific after you die, like cremating your dead body, or not sharing the cause of your death to anyone. It's also a good way to say what you were afraid of telling others when you were alive, maybe telling everything you hate about someone or how your parents failed at raising you, etc.
>>308675
Based.


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