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File: 1776004657795.png (2.48 MB, 2000x2000, 1:1, 1771860234852.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.307023[Reply]

This is the classic "Suicide General", where we discuss methods and say farewell to our fellow wizards.

Previous:
>>296511
16 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307167

drowning is my best option. here's my plan:

i am going to steal a boat, numb myself with benzos and then i am going to drill a small hole in my boat.

 No.307170

if you arent in pain, why rush to death?
You have an eternity to be dead later, why the hurry?

 No.307171

>>307170
nothingness seems better than this

 No.307173

>>307170
because pain is always around the corner. it's even worse when you know a specific humiliation is lined up and you can't even concentrate on anything else while the days count down.

 No.307189

nothing will happen. i've tried for a decade to make something happen, nothing has ever held up or happened. i will never escape my exhauation, never escape internal friction with trying to do the most basic things. will this really be a permanent lifelong reality? will i never build a consistent structure where both surface thoughts and deep emotions are equally valid? will i never make progress? will i never see things worth remembering, a legacy, a vision, a game, a memorable achievement? all my life, as far back as I can remember, I've always felt like nothing will ever happen, and it doesnt help that everything in my life has only validated that feeling by failing or slipping away. Nothing will happen, I have nothing to look forward to, my life will always be stuck here in oblivion. I will always look to the future, but nothing will be made of the present because I will always be tired. I will never escape my exhauation. I am doomed, I will die alone, I am incapable of ever connecting with anyone, without ever having achieved the things I wanted to. And even if I do achieve them, whats the point? I'm too old. I'm disgusting. I hate myself and I find it disgusting to achieve youthful things at my age. Nothing will happen in my 20s, nothing has happened before and nothing will happen now. Absolutely nothing in my life will ever move fast enough, not that moving fast will be productive, it wont. My life is an endless pointless slog with no escape that fulfills the soul, no meaning, and nothing of value will ever be achieved.


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 No.303736[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

You will still be stuck browsing this thread in 2026 edition

previous>>296811
151 posts and 30 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307180

>>307177
>What do you spend it on?
Insurance, "rent" to friend for staying here, debt and food. Literally breaking even. The rent policies are insane

 No.307183

>>307180
Buy a bag of rice and beans. Lay off the delivery slop and you'll be fine.

 No.307184

>>307180
>debt
Financial debt doesn't need to be repayed. Just sop paying.

 No.307186

>>307174
Nice blogpost.

 No.307188

>>307186
>Nooo you can only make posts about being trapped in the bucket forever, and posts trying to keep others in the bucket


[Last 50 Posts]

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 No.306437[Reply]

Does anyone else voluntarily exile themselves from society?

I'm tired of socializing, drama, human interests, social demands, social everything.

I wish I was a machine instead of a talking ape. I actually hate being an animal.
I don't even hate people, I just don't want to be in any contact with them. I even hate my own body for forcing me to eat and wash in order to not completely dysfunction.
21 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307135

I have done so

 No.307179

>>307089
>Wish I had the courage to do that.

i like going to cities i have never been to and sleep in my van. it does take some courage and at times it is unsettling and feels dangerous but in rural areas nobody cares and few people are a bother.

 No.307181

File: 1776634648474.mp4 (1.32 MB, 1280x720, 16:9, dragon ball e59 greed rots….mp4) ImgOps iqdb

>>307179

one more thing i thought of: when i first did it and it felt very scary to me, i would watch dragon ball from the beginning and it would give me courage. seeing son goku never giving up, working on himself, always getting better while remaining pure of heart helped me fall asleep at night.

it sounds ridiculous but it did work.

 No.307182

It's a sign of depression or just bad mental health. Cutting people off is easy, but just makes things worse. It's hard to find people to connect with though

 No.307187

>>306442
>being an animal is annoying
I hate this view of reality, human beings are very different from animals.
>>306462
>people getting worked up about literally nothing and expecting, demanding you to care
I hate this so much, if you show you don't care, they get worked up even harder.
>>306498
>medieval history
Sounds very interesting. Last time I read history was the life of Augustus in Suetonius' 12 Emperors.
>>306875
I wish I could hang myself in the woods, but i'll have to do it at home.


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 No.302164[Reply]

Does anyone here struggle with alcohol, or have managed to quit?

It used to be a good coping mechanism for me, but it seems the older I've gotten the worse it feels, and it's become detrimental to my health and the way I behave around people. Easily annoyed, constantly starting shit, tired all the time, strange pains. And I was still getting worse, fast.

This has been a wake-up call and I'm realizing I need to quit before it's too late. Though that's easy for me to say now when I'm still feeling bad, and I fear the cravings will come back strong, but I know I've got to try.

Curious to hear others experience with this.
48 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307069

I drink more or less everyday. Red wine, cant stop. I tell myself this was last one, even in the morning. Then later in the evening I am out buying more. Drinking right now

 No.307070

>>307069
More to it, I always wondered why people just dont stop. But now I am there myself. You really need to be there I guess. For example I look at gambling addicts and I dont understand it, but they probably look at me and dont understand it.

 No.307102

Got sober for 4 months now. On NYE had a bottle of sake, the next day near 1/2 a bottle of whiskey, the next I drank all night - wine, beer, whiskey. Horrible withdrawal the next 4 days. Bought some strong zyns to keep me sedated. In my psychosis I realized all this shit is never enough for me. Trashed all of them. 15 years wasted.

 No.307133

Dopa mucuna supplements helped me tremendously to quit alcohol.

I was drinking because of dopamine-seeking and dopa mucuna gives me that dopamine boost and I was able to quit drinking.

I started using a SAD lamp + dopa mucuna and the lift in dopamine made me not feel craving for alcohol.

 No.307185

If I could be 4/10 buzzed for the rest of my life I would be. But I'm sick of hangovers and paranoia.


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 No.306545[Reply]

I am not even that horny, a lot of the days I force my self to do it while not even being in the mood for it, it's just the most effective way for me to cope, masturbation is free, gives you instant pleasure and can burn for you many hours at the time, there are times when i find my self touching myself just so I can use it as a way to distract my self for my anxieties and negative thought loops, as soon as i start touching myself all my anxiety and negative emotions start to dissolve as much as i hate and it hate how much i overdo it, i can't deny it makes getting through my days easier when i can just touch my self for many hours instead of just sitting there being miserable feeling hollow bored to tears and empty or anxious and overthinking at worse, my point here is that I believe the addiction for me is a mere sympotom, something I use to escape my negative feelings and the emptiness of my daily life, thanks for reading my blogpost
43 posts and 6 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306885

>>306545
i have been banned!

 No.307001

>>306545
It's a fucking addiction and I hate it. It destroyed everything in my life and takes me many hours of my days only to after masturbated 3 times one after other, I feel destroyed and without energy. Many times I wish to suicide myself in that state after masturbate for the low level of energy that I had. Wish the best of luck to everyone trying to left this evilness.

 No.307002

>>307001
Just stop fapping.

 No.307090

File: 1776204705500.gif (489.44 KB, 225x350, 9:14, 1612541820799.gif) ImgOps iqdb

I used to be a pretty hardcore junkie, now cigarettes and fapping are my only vices
truth be told, i was mostly jerking off on stimulants, apart from getting high on weed
Stopped because it was destroying my body fast
Cant beat the libido, gotta live with it
>>306880
its hard, but its always something
for me its anime and vidya again now
some people are just easy to get addicted
>>306548
if i can offer you some kind of relief, I was fapping sometimes for days at a time on drugs till my member was red and hurt and i did that often
Everything still works
If you are just jerking off, I think it is highly unlikely you are doing any permanent harm
likely the fear of consequences is damaging you more then the actual fapping
good look anon, im sure youll be able to moderate yourself

 No.307168

i got into trading & finance and it pretty much replaced my addiction
also my taste defaulted back to vanilla


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 No.305809[Reply]

"Hey wizanon… did you go through a similar thing?"

I will never forgive this world, my ancestors, my genes, my family, those people. I will especially, never forgive myself. My adolesence was robbed from me. I could've eaten better, I could've been stronger, I could've said no to all the evil people who abused me, humiliated me, bullied me, took advantage of me. I can pretend to be happy in moments of fantasy, but my baseline is always depression because I have been robbed so completely.

What did I do to deserve this fate? Who was I in my past life to deserve being in such a position? If I had eaten better, I could've grown to my true height. If I had said no and held steadfast, I could've fought back against them. If I had shown some semblance of courage, I could've made happy memories in my youth.

I am 23 years old. You might say that is young. But I have lost the most important years of my growth and development. I have wasted them by suffering emotionally and physically with no fault of my own. I have wasted them by letting others rob me of what I had, my dignity, my reputation, my identity, my resources. I dropped out of school with so much hope, I was truly so happy, only to suffer far more than I ever have at the hands of forces beyond my control.

No matter what I do now, as much as I would love to believe otherwise, there is absolutely nothing I could do to compensate for what I have lost. Nothing I could do replace those days. Nothing I could do to get back what I lost forever. What's been robbed was meant to be robbed permanently. I can only mourn and ache for the rest of my life, aching for the things I was supposed to have but will never get back.
10 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307156

If you're ever able to stand on your own two feet, you'll come to realize that at least the fact that nobody cares about you is freeing, sad but freeing.

 No.307158

>>307156
In his case how is this thought going to help him?

 No.307159

>>305809
>>307152
I have nothing to say to you brother but I feel the same. I relate to this on a deeper level.

 No.307160

hey iam 1.83m and i will get height surgery to make it 1.95m you should KYS now it's over for you

 No.307166

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>>305809
>I am 23 years old. You might say that is young. But I have lost the most important years of my growth and development.
yes, but don't worry, that is all still too little compared to the future


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 No.306157[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Post here if you don't have enough to say for a new thread, but it's too depressing for the crawl thread.
ice cold edition
288 posts and 31 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307130

>>307128
>I have near perfect symmetry that makes me look like an uncanny valley analog horror monster
When i was a child i would dream of a body like this, not in asthetic but in fiction. A body where symmetry is so fine tuned, every muscle fibre and even every vein and artery for most part are nearly symmetrical. I actually envy this a little bit. If you have such a high spatial awareness, i am a little curious on why won't you take a hobby like break dance or something like combat sports, you might have gift even you never knew.

 No.307131

>>307130
near perfect symmetry looks good theoretically or in fiction, but in real life, its extremely creepy. I actually want to play soccer but I feel so awkward being around normies. So I'll just run at 3am.

 No.307132

>>307109
> i am mortally afraid of making a phone call
I've had similar problems. Living alone while neeting for some time didn't help. Looks like it's only the rope for me.

 No.307137

honestly this is a dead end. i knew it'd be like this in the end but, well, knowing and actually experiencing are always quite different aren't they? this feels so fucking bad idk what i can even do

 No.307165

I didn't see any mice or rats in winter and I didn't even hear them scratching in the walls so I thought I was good but
>One old house in our neighborhood burned down recently
>Another was demolished because the owner died
>Threw away some stuff and de-cluttered, maybe it was hiding out?
And now I just saw one in my room. How am I gonna sleep tonight? I guess I have been slacking a little and leaving laundry in the hampers and eating (I don't think I dropped any fucking crumbs!!) but this scenario has reminded me of A.) Why I despise living in the country and B.) Why poverty sucks so bad. You little rat bastard, you could go fucking anywhere you wanted but you choose my goddamn house. I've bought traps and mint and alcohol, I'm getting rid of it, I'm terrified of these fuckers. I have to piss and I'm just sitting here terrified, terrified, God! Show me some mercy. I checked the sex offender registry and there's some pedo a few blocks away. Scarily enough there's a thief too…anyway, Send it there!


[Last 50 Posts]

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 No.305362[Reply]

I miss being a proper neet so much and im jealous of people who can be
I miss just being able to play some stupid game 12 hours a day and watch videos on the side
i still dont have friends or a gf so what am I doing
everything is worse
my body
my mind
my freedom
11 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306685

I am the opposite of you, i have too much free time that i don't know what to do with it

 No.306718

>>305362
OP, had a neetbucks and be happy

 No.306724

I was a neet then a wagie now half and half. The only good thing is money. I wanted to move to SEA after grinding but nope. Just find small joys.

 No.306762

>>306667
if you want ultra intense like the other wiz said, DMT. but personally i think controlled doses of LSD and working up to high doses where you can handle the intensity is what i'd recommend. I only had borderline overwhelming experiences when i got up to 4-5 hits which i think made them more profound since i worked up to that intensity, because i was able to be present and not just tripping out of my gourd

 No.307163

>>306762
LSD sucks, there are many other Phenethylamines that are better. LSD lasts for a long time so if you get a shitty trip it will make you want to commit for a long time. And whilst its true that nndmt is very intensive, it only lasts for like 10 mins


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 No.306970[Reply]

I've seen this discussed in many threads so I made a thread for it. Many wizzies had had their life destroyed by psychiatric medication be it SSRI's, antipsychotics, benzodiazepines or others. A psych ward stay tends to leave you worse off. Some people get abused in psychiatric institutions. Mentioning you are sad and thinking about suicide to a doctor or nurse can get you forcefully restrained and tranquilised.
I'm suicidal but I avoid any medical help precisely for this reason.
13 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307012

>>307009
>I dont care about i will became a lobotomized
Looks like you are lobotomised already.

 No.307018

>>307012
that makes you brothers doesn't it?

 No.307076

>>307018
I'm schizophrenic not lobotomised

 No.307161

>>306971
>It's hit or miss. It can be extremely terrible or whitepilling.
From your description it seems like I hit the nail on your head. I am not American, I am also based in the European Union. I sometimes buy this fancy Dutch milk at the grocery store, freaking delicious.
>>306973
>If you see navigating the process as some arduous thing and are constantly fretting about psychiatry and meds, you probably are genuinely mentally ill
I think I am being reasonable, they simply replaced the restraints with tranquilisers and keep the worst of the abuse limited to the involuntary committed. It seems absurd to me to voluntarily look for medical help when you are having serious suicidal thoughts.

 No.307162

after being in and out of the hospital for years they set me up with outpatient treatment 5 days a week. i dont really like the group therapy


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 No.306888[Reply]

Hey mages, wizards, posting this here so some may see it instead of just throwing it in a doc somewhere.

I love life. For a period of about two to three years I was empty and melancholic with constant suicidal thoughts. But now I can't hate the world, the struggle of life moves my soul; the clouds, the sea, the stars, flowers, the wind, it all is so amazing to witness. Most of all I love people, for what they can be, seeing the rare phenomenon of a genuine person, be it in person, through their words, or through something they made, tugs at me like nothing else. And it's not like my life has materially gotten much better, I got out of my nagging bitch aunts house but otherwise not much has changed.
But this transformation has only made everything hurt more, going out amongst the normgroids deeply upsets me because they squander themselves for nothing. But even then I cant bring myself to hate how much it hurts.
If you're reading this mage it'd mean a lot to see you chase your dreams, I don't believe in that crap about humans only being able to care about a certain number of people.
35 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307146

>>307060
Like I said its their potential, what they can be; what they are is disgusting but what they can be is better than anything. You get small glimpses of what is deep inside of people but they are so focused on avoiding discomfort and wallowing in their pleasure they never even try to move towards that.

 No.307147

>>306892
Because I am better than them.

 No.307148

>>306906
You're a fat retard

 No.307149

>>306906
And the reason you're a fat retard is because you're living like an animal. Only animals mindlessly avoid unpleasant sensations, humans go beyond them because we can choose, of our own will, not by conditioning, to not avoid them and even impose them on ourselves. What growth isnt unpleasant? If you're a fatass starving will objectively improve your life yet its unpleasant while continuing to stuff your face is pleasant.

Being a low iq nigger that only thinks about how to feel good isnt smart.

 No.307153

>>307149
>humans go beyond them because we can choose, of our own will, not by conditioning, to not avoid them and even impose them on ourselves
What are you even talking about you dead ass mongoloid, you can choose to impose pain on yourself? Wow of course you can, but this has nothing to do with my argument.
I argued life is terrible because we must endure unpleasant sensations AGAINST OUR WILL, like who the fuck chooses to get cancer? Yet you can be diagnosed with it one day.
We are thrown into the world by our parents and then forced to endure torture or kill ourselves. This is the reality of our world.


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