I know this will sound fun to a lot of you. My thread might also be deleted since it has no other purpose than talking about me. You can talk about yourself on that thread as well.
So here's the thing: i'm way too naive. I swallow anything a person tells me. The logical thing would be to just back off from society. That's what i did for years, and not for that reason. Rather for bullying and health reasons that ruined my life. But that's not the subject here. The problem is that i still have internet and therefore have access to people who can potentially still keep using my weakness against me. So basically i was talking with someone whom i thought of a friend on internet. Stupid of me right? Anyway he asked me 500$ for a project he talked to me for like a week. Stupid right? Well again, i am stupid. He said that he would pay me back double after his project is done, i believed him and paid him. Guess what? He just disappeared after that.
So now the very little money i had accumulated after many years, gone. I don't even know what to say, i'm too emotionally weird to actually cry or do anything. I will just keep living like always. Meaning: doing absolutely nothing and wait for the next day. Should i post this here? I'm sure not. But i've learned something over the years about me. Whatever choice i do, it's always the wrong one. Always. All my live has been bad choices, alongside with the fact that it was pretty much screwed since the beginning.
As for myself, my health sucks, i can't work, can't study. I don't have any friends or anyone to talk to except my mom and dad who are starting to get gradually tired of the fact that i'm doing nothing. My health issues are laughed of, or just denied, so i don't have any sort of financially help or anything. Those 500$ where somehow my pride. I was happy to have them, i told myself one day i will have a good pc, not the overused thrash i have here.
I can't eat properly, shit properly, i can't sleep more than 5 hours in a row at best. I suffer a lot. But i guess it's not enough. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've tried suicide, but it didn't work. Nothing worked in my life. I have tried a lot of things. A lot. I mean it. But nothing ever worked in my life. Absolutely nothing. And everything sucks in my life. Every aspect you could think of. I'm just so tired of suffering what's the fucking point?
I was so low before that, and objectively i'm as low as i was before. Post too long. Click here to view the full text.