/dep/ - Depression

>>304105
>>304020
>How to meditation
There's a thread about this topic here with a lot of things >>303398
Just do it often.

no matter what you say, death is always an answer. i'm just too cowardly to go through with it.

>>303985
I think you mean Rosenfeld.
"Roosevelt" is an invented public title made in the facultative purpose of de-jewing a namesake; no different really to "Kennedy", which is an another invented surname standing in place of the older and original Venetian-Jewish (((Cavendish))).

>HAVE A SHOWER AND GO OUTSIDE!
I live in a shithole and i'm surrounded by people i hate. I'm a foreigner in my own country. I hate everyone. No matter how many jobs i get or people i talk to i will still be a complete outsider. The normalfag can't comprehend this. I haven't had a conversation in around 6 years that was even small talk everyone i've ever liked killed themselves or is in jail.

>>304106
thanks

>>304439
You're right on everything. It's experiments, you should never ever trust these "people". I don't know why they kill your dick but it's truly devilish. They make you numb. You don't feel anything. For me, this started after I stopped taking them and it's been like that since a year, no libido, no orgasm. Once a week I'll go insane over this issue. right now I am tearing up, just can't think of something else. I don't want to be part of this world anymore. Nothing brings me true happiness lately. Avoid them like the plague wizs.

>>304440
Wow, that sounds horrible, my case was only temporary, I only took the pills for a few weeks and when I went impotent I stopped immediately and after a couple of days everything went back to normal…Your case actually sounds like something you could take legal steps to get some money out of it for compensation, if you have the time and money for a lawyer…That's fucking ruining your life-tier bullshit. If you live in the 1st world and have the means, sue them in court.

>>304454
Sue the doctors or the brand? I live in the 1st world, but what makes me think I shouldn't is that one of the two doctors is a friend of my mother's… I told her one night how much her actions had ruined my life, but she continued to deny that my side effects were real, claiming that they should have stopped by now. She never warned me about side effects or anything, and I wasn't even depressed to the point I would need medication. I agree that it's a life ruining problem. I'm even still kind of young compared to wizards here (19), I think it's fair to say that this is lawsuit material. It's not even like I took them much longer than you did, just a month or two (Honestly, I didn't know what I was doing, just took a pill here and there). Honestly I don't know if I even want money. I don't need it, it's dirty… I just want my life back.

mirtazipine was the only drug I ever took that made me gain weight.

>>304440
>I don't know why they kill your dick but it's truly devilish. They make you numb. You don't feel anything.

It was learned in the early 1950s through experimentation that an over-abundance of 5-HT (serotonin) in the brain completely suppresses lordosis response in female mice (the inward curving of the spine instinctively shown by all female animals prior to intromission). In males, excess serotonin collected in neuronal synapses causes impotence and genital anesthesia. In both sexes, serotonin excess produced apathy and artificial tranquility (like the sort you would see in psychiatric wards with half-catatonic patients wandering about).

There is an entire conspiracy surrounding this topic (the promotion of the false theory of serotonin deficiency being the commonest cause of depression/sadness, and all the panel of related drugs marketed by popular response to this theory.). Psychiatry (arguably) has always had the sterilization of the mentally ill as a principal aim (reaching all the way back to the "ship of fools" model when doctors would just burden whole ships with groups of mad men and launch them upon the sea). I do believe that most psychiatrists (who are jews usually) are conscious of the dangers of these drugs and prescribe them nevertheless. The companies that manufacture these drugs are obviously jewish (as "big pharma" is one central arm of jewish mafia). Even the main youtube "medical personality" dealing with this subject is a kike:

https://www.youtube.com/@taperclinic/videos

Jews are behind feminism, pornography, abortionism, lgbt, psychiatry, modern psychology, contraceptives, vaccines, etc. All of these social projects tend to one common end – reduction in the number of living goyim.

>Once a week I'll go insane over this issue. right now I am tearing up, just can't think of something else.

You need to calm down…and I say this with all respect and care. Rationality is your greatest weapon in defeating this.

>but she continued to deny that my side effects were real, claiming that they should have stopped by now.

This is typical for doctors. You are *very* young, Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>304608
Metaphorical distance. (I was trying to be clever.) Actually, it was about three
metres. It was striking how much it sounded like a job interview, with a lot of
bragging and self-importance. It felt cold and pointless, as my intuition told
me the whole thing was a blanket they threw over a premise of "let's exchange
money for sex," but they were carrying on and laughing, so I suppose they may
have been enjoying it. I don't know. Then there was my feeling of distance. It's
strange that you can be so close to other people that you can hear them, yet
feel like you're a world apart.

>>304600
I'm not talking about the chat function though.

>>304598
>you write similarly to X guy on wizchan so I will assume all of you are only one poster
Classic.

(If anything, I'm doing the opposite. I always encourage the posters here to embrace their misery, like the drugwizzies to keep doing drugs, the homeless wizzies to get into the criminal life, etc.)

>>304361 I just opened up an old 3DS I had from my childhood. I went from being an energetic and optimistic child to a bitter faggot. Every day of my life now I feel miserably numb to anything, because everything got so much worse. And I can't understand myself because I became retarded along the way too.

>>304644
I want to see more photos that I took but the only other ones that I had were on my dad's phone which someone in my family lost. I'm suspicious that she threw it away because she is a leftist fanatic that disagreed with him. I want to put things into words but I cant, I am starting to feel numb again

>>304577
I not tired of assholes and their behaviour
I tired of my response, emotions and my behaviour response to that assholes behaviour.
Revenge and hate doesn't give anything useful, just more hate, revenge, and suffering in the process of life.
>Also
This is a way to illumination.

>>304626
I had to cut my coffee to react less to

1) actual asso-s
2) people who aren't as as-le as myself haha

The game is to get as far away from normies as possible as quickly as you can.

>>304632
Normies are so close that some of them are you. Beware.

>>304626
true

>>303427
>Don't psychopaths have cognitive empathy?

Cognitive… empathy? Sounds like a name for an empathy substitute (in the same sense as "soy milk" is "milk")

>They understand what's going on - they just don't care. What they're missing is affective empathy.

Smart mathy person (and a 6'3" absolute unit of a bloke), yeah, but when it comes to *feelings*, he's a massive "I don't care" meathead. He's blind to the *vibe* of relief or such. So every time I sigh in relief he reall has to ask me "WHY are you SIGHING?!?!"

He has the life experience to process regular, normal" emotions, but he is completely blind to serious dramatic moments of a small fella's life. Therefore, every time I have a strong emotion - and don't have the COMPOSURE to mask it… one more SNAFU moment happens.



>What they're missing is affective empathy.
Every time he said something important and I was all like "phew! Thanks!" he would only start asking WHY I just made this funny noise of gasp/sigh in relief.

>>303430
You have to remember 10% of the population has alexithymia or is mind blind in other words they have no theory of mind and cannot comprehend other people have thoughts and feelings as well.

>>303431
>You have to remember 10% of the population has alexithymia

Ah. Thanks. Truly, I needed that information.

>>303431
the severity of this alexi-something varies though

>>303408
>>303431
Bump

Apparently, my father decded to *go for cigarettes* after my mother tried to rant with him over… a can of sardines. Or some other canned fish.


Dad was tired, after carrying stuff (elevator was turned off).
Mom was stupid, thinking its appropriate to strip hard-working dads off their food.
Me - heard everything and now have to live with it.

Screw it all. Artificial wombs and cloned people ftw. "Mother bears" are horrible troublemakers in terms of producing "n00rmal ppl".

>>302957
You really did make an entire thread to reply to my post.
Quite insane.
Also took a while for me to even check the catalog.

>>302973
Yeah the change isn't only noticed by people my age, it really depends on what age you gained internet access and what parts you got exposed to initially.
I still had an atari for example, but not because I was into retro anything, or because I'm old enough to be one of its users, it's just that rural poverty meant we got everything much later than the rest of the world.
Then when I got exposed to the internet I was lead by my "elders" as well.

I'm sure even zoomers notice, you mention minecraft, a lot of those early creators, though I didn't consume much, but some were big enough that reached me too, they used to be much different.
They were… creative and authentic. Nowadays all of it feels way too intentionally crafted to be a brand, something to sell, something to make money from.

Every space online has been way too commercialized and normiefied and the issue is that there are more and more people who have only seen this version of the internet and they love it. So if you don't, there is no space for you and they will make it very clear.
It is sad.

>More like, people didnt exactly 'change', they began to show their true colors.
I disagree with this to an extent. Again, the people I used to be around moved on with their lives. They didn't start showing their true color, it's just that they matured and had different priorities.
So what I'm trying to say here is that there is a difference between the oldheads baring their teeth. You might be right about some of them, but most just moved on in my opinion and the ones that replaced them are simply a different breed accustomed to a different "normal".
You know, don't tell people your name, don't post anything about yourself type people were replaced with those that lived life online in public like it's normal.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Posted some relevant info in /games/

I wonder of cute Two-Bees will be a thing in 30 years or so

>>302958
Yeah, I feel that as well. When I was younger, I had this plan to "live online", basically to avoid the regular life of chasing things like money and succubi and just enjoy browsing the internet after I graduated.

The more time passed, the more I felt alienated from this digital hellscape, to the point where I tried to "escape" back into the real world to get away from it all. I feel spiritually homeless on the internet and never fit in with others in meatspace as well.

>>302983
God, I fucking hate zoomers and them chasing after certain "aesthetics".
t.zoomer

>>304457
>>304457
Looks so relateable it's almost like I persoally wrote this post; I, however, don't say "meatspace" so it's not like it my post

Conclusio: RELATEABLE!!! I wanted to be a similar kind of person. Sadly, CS/IT is full of "jocks", "bros" and other "all-emotional "intelligence" types who treat wizards of digital lands as haha funny wageslaves to toy with "do this… no, no, do THIS, not that… no-no-no, try GOOD VIBES to understand me", don't be a ****"

This isn't about me, but it's about my mother.

I have zero sympathy for her. She chooses to do wageslave out of greed, she has repeatedly made it clear that she loves money more than anything. She wants to earn earn earn. She has no care or concern for anything else.

Im more terrified of the fact that she gleefully chooses to destroy her health like this. Its unthinkable to me. Thats absolutely abnormal. Normies are a slave race, but nobody ever tells you the horror of that reality. Imagine happily getting up after 4 hours of sleep everyday for years, with heart disease, with diabetes, anemia, and persistent nutritional deficiencies, dependent on 6 different medications, eating such horrible foods and even abusing your kids for not eating the same garbage as you to show how superior your lifestyle is, while working 12 hours a day in hot crowded environments which you can easily trade for better if you tried. And being completely happy doing it.

Its a fucking nightmare. I live in a horrifying nightmate.

And the worst part is that I will be blamed if she collapses, because she violently hates me and gave birth me solely to satisfy her abuse fetishes. Thats literally why im here, for prolonged grooming and abuse.

No way I am walking down the same path as these fucks. Never.

Wizards feel terrible living like this and always try to find a way out, but normies… jesus fucking christ. I refuse to think about it. They deserve 100% of everything they get and I pray that wizards can escape this purgatory.

>>304611
It's better to work and have money than to not work and not have money. Only someone who is being supported by a family member who is working or wealthy can have the luxury of not working.

There's going to be a reckoning at my place, the crew has taken to chatting. A lot. The warehouse aisles keeps clotting up because people keep stopping to chat: two people will stop working then it peels people walking by until we have 6 or 7 midwits yakking about video games or whatever. Don't get me wrong, underachieving is my life, but socializing is not. I've got a few of them that keep coming to me for their social needs too and it's absolutely draining. Get some friends off the clock and quit using me as your wife/brother/bestie/whatever. I'm going to see if the boss wants the boss wants the off-site unit cleaned today, these people are driving me nuts.

>>304612
>it's better to be a wage slave than not
ugh dude

>>304622
If you don't have parents who will support you, then your options are either wage slavery or homelessness and destitution. You can pick which one you prefer. For me, I'd rather have a roof over my head.

>>304190
Stick with the reading list. It’s really good. Also I would recommend the book hatha yoga by the same author of the Hindu yogi science of breath, kybalion, arcane formula, etc (the author in question is William Walker Atkinson). The book hatha yoga delves into obscure methods of staying healthy that the elites don’t want you to know about. Highly recommended.

>>304190
>What do fellow wizzies here think of the /fringe/ reading list? petsonally ive only read the kybalion
They Kybalion is a re-made up of another book of Atkinson (arcane formulas? Or some tittle with mansonry in it i dont remember) with more hermetic aesthetic, i dont like it. I enjoyed it at my first entrance in supposed western esoterism (its not western esoterism but its kinda into modern religious esoterism pre-new age like teosophy) but now I know its kinda lame, its like a new age book.
>not to mention that it's getting a lot of bad rep lately in hermetic circles for not relating to hermeticism
It have a lot or new thought ideas, its not truly hermetic philosophy with greek-egyptian lore rituals and etc.
New thought its more like a offshot of Mesmerism-Hypnosis with Christian Science with some light indian beliefs or aesthetics with some universal metaphysics. If you enjoy it as a chaoist or it make thing for you work for the paradigm its ok, In ME personal case, dont work for me.
>and bardon's exercises that i want you anons opinion on.
Suppusoedly Bardon stealed some secret book and paper of a magic lodge or something (sound like crowley) but i dont know.
Bardon intro to hermetics its like a Raja Yoga with a lot of techniques focuses on breath, visualization and correspondences and etc. Its very technical at first not to focused on ritualism (he have other books focused on that topic)
I enjoy bardon and some techniques are from Indian Yogas techniques and maybe chinese and others from western ideas, I see it more focused on itself esoteric system than a Hypnosis or belief like new thoughts guys.
This book its more internal (like a qi gong as example) than external focused on rituals or invocations evocations, etc.
>Its true hermetism?
In bardon sense, yeah, but in a hermetic philosophy and practices of western greek-egyptian-alchemy OG lore, nope. Go read hermetic philosophy and religious books of hermetism for that.

>Fringe reading list
If you want some books of magick of personal, post-modern, maybe lodge tradition or new age fluffbunny and wicca there're some books here Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>304192
>if you don't have a middle ground between absolute belief, dogma and agnosticism you can become a asshole.
always stay humble in your beliefs. i really enjoyed the kybalion for what it was the first time ive read but i obviously was a bunch of snake oil bullshit from the get-go, empty promises with no real hermetic background. Hells he even failed to describe hermetic philosophy properly. that leddit jew was right in regards to him, because when i read the arcane teachings he also somehow created a new occult order out of the blue from supposedly ancient chaldea called the arcane council, with the same recycle "hermetic laws" and manifestation/unmanifestation phaes of creation. im kinda pissed off i wasted my time for nothing. thank you /fringe/. Might have better luck with other books tho.

>>303398
Read this book, very useful as a start for knowledge of anxiety and how to fix behaviour.

>>303398
>Place a pillow under your knees, and sleep without a pillow under your head.
I read somewhere that the first helps you sleep better and the second helps circulation in your back and neck. I sleep without a pillow under my head because I find it more comfortable for sleep.

>Hug a pillow (rest in bed or sit or stand)
Dont ask why, just do it, for more than 23-25 sec.
You can add visualization, acting like youre huggins someone or sing to the pillow.
>Bedsheet hug (for sleep etc)
Weight yourself down with the sheets (or make a sheets weight pillow) and try to achieve the effect of a hug. Add visualization or act like you're hugging someone etc.
Don't put too much weight on your chest or you'll have trouble breathing and you'll have nightmares, or you might cut off the blood circulation in your arm.
>Also
One day i dreamed with anime characters (three lolis) with this way, incredible wholesome dream and very comfy.
It felt like heaven.

>>304539
this looks like it was drawn around 2012, the year Wizchan was founded, this was the internet Wizchan was born into

>>304568
wasnt it funded way before?

>>304574
way before?

a wizchan of 2000, that would be cool

>>304575
yea '00 n somethin

meh im so booooored

3AM thoughts would be just like an unmoderated depression crawl thread, so this thread is redundant. I am confident OP is a troll who isn't aware what self hatred is and how it manifests.

Moved to >>>/b/1030601.