/dep/ - Depression

>>306108
here's your token of my wizardly external validation

what the fjck is that

>>306108
Not fitting into society brings a lot of practical problems with it which can be intolerable. If you can NEET it up and somewhat insolate yourself from other people, you can be fine, but you will be reminded every time you go outside that you have a target on your back and you will be surprised to see that literal strangers will go out of their way to bully you for no reason. Getting a job or moving up is impossible because your apparent Otherness is so obvious to other people that they will either consciously or subconsciously aim to put you down in your place and not allow you to exist in peace.

Make no mistake, alienation can be quite intolerable. It's not an abstraction, it's very much real. The hivemind can detect you and you will have problems having any kind of life at all.

Dead internet theory.

>>306120
Have you noticed how many new nonsensical threads are being made, then readily abandoned by the OP? It's a simple, yet insidious tactic, they've been using it on 4chan for decades. It worked amazingly well as you can tell.

>>306044
Why react to "wait wait wait" in welcoming tone?
Assumption. Throwing a thought-preventing pattern to that "wait wait wait" gives higher social credit

>>306004
That picture of the little succubus praying to an arranged set of crosses made of soda boxes always gets me thinking. It's such an uncanny combination of cultural artifacts, having this child mentally calling for the image of a dead Iron Age religious leader while kneeling in front of canned high fructose corn syrup. The soul-sucking fluorescent lights in the background and the commentary of the mother, who no doubt brainwashed the child to this behavior, talking as if somehow praying to Jesus was the succubus's own idea, create a jarring image that makes my head spin. And of course, every single vertical surface is covered in ads.

Then I start thinking this is all happening due to the gravitational collapse of enormous clouds of dust, molecular hydrogen, and helium into stars. Balls of ionized gas ongoing nuclear fusion, burning light elements into heavier ones. And here we have a small terrestrial pile of galactic debri orbiting around a big pile of burning hydrogen, with this child calling for a man long dead. Not the greatest minds in the world could invent a tragicomedy of such monumental, bizarre proportions. What is all this fucking stuff? It doesn't matter how much you study chemistry, physics, mathematics, biology. It doesn't matter how much you think you know. When you look at the world seriously and completely focused, everything is so fucking strange.

>>305596
Self employment would be ideal but it's harder to effectuate in practice than it sounds in theory. You need to do quarterly taxes, submit a business plan, register trademarks (if applicable), figure out how to sell your stuff and how to do stuff like withold sales tax for people. Most of that stuff can be handled by paying people for a service but then you need to have income. Depending on what you do you may also have other regulatory requirements like insurance/bonds that also cost money and therefore require you to be making money effectively. The last and most unfortunate part is that no matter what you do, you cannot get money from people without interacting with those people somehow. Even if you just do an email customer service with internet shop you will still have to answer their questions and deal with all the bullshit that the broken people will try to pull on you.

>>305982
You probably can say no though unless the labor market in your country is really fucked up. Just make up some excuse that you already have plans.

>>305835
In most places, dust is all that's left in the rivers, but you can still harvest the dust. You spend all day panning stuff until you get black sand mixed with gold dust then you spend another day picking the tiny bits of gold out of the black sand manually. It's shit work but I think I have figured out how to get my living expenses to practically zero by living in my car on public land. I bought an EV with this in mind so that I can charge at free chargers and spend zero dollars on fuel. My only expenses will be phone/internet and food. I calculate I should need to find approximately three quarters of a gram of gold per week (3g a month) to sustain this lifestyle. Also, despite being shit work, it sounds to me to be infinitely preferable to slaving for normalfags.

In my opinion you absolutely need to suppress the physical pain before anything else, because I know it makes life unbearable

Second, I would suggest to find a way to disappear from your family

welp i guess there's no running away from the baseline. anxiety is the only constant in my life.

>>306111
can't with this extreme tinnitus
can't enjoy my miserable NEET life anymore
can't read manga, watch anime
doctors said it'd go away
6 fucking goddamn months in

FUCK SCIENCE

>>306115
>What do you think happens when we die? I think you have to choose to make yourself subject to him when you exit your body, by entering the tunnel of light.
I really can't say what happens when we die. I try to prepare myself mentally and spiritually for that transition, but of course it's exceptionally difficult to do so when I don't know for certain what specific experience to prepare for. As far as the 'tunnel of light' goes, I don't put much stock in it as there has been countless near-death experiences documented throughout the years, and while there is some similarity and overlap with people, it mostly just varies. Everything from 'tunnel of light' to 'pure darkness' to 'greeted by loved ones' to 'it's all a simulation', it seems each experience is unique to each individual.

>I wonder how this trap works on people who don't love anyone. Maybe the buddhists are right and being attached to anything in any way is a trap
I guess I'll find out. I learned to be exceptionally suspicious and distrusting at a very young age, and as such I have never cultivated a deep meaningful bond with anyone in this life. Moreover, I have spent my adult life learning about the many lies and schemes that created modern civilization, and each day I become more capable of seeing through those lies. If the god of this world truly is a master of deceit, than I hope to be a formidable adversary to him and his devious tricks.

>>306104
As obvious as it is to say, normalfags are retarded. Whenever I hear normalfags talk about their views on life or the world, there's always this willful ignorance about the state of things, their so happy to bury their heads in the sand and act like things aren't that bad. So when you express your discontentment with life, it's like grabbing the back of their neck and trying to pull their head out of the sand. They will resist you and any negative sentiment you give, sticking religiously to their ignorance because it's comfortable, and the more you express your discontentment and continue to expose them to uncomfortable truths, the more they will hate and shun you for it. Seeing this shitty world as shit is simply logical, but most people are not particularly logical sPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>306115
I stopped believing in life after death after I realized that the self doesn't exist as an eternal holistic thing. There can't be an afterlife because nothing can get transferred to an afterlife.

Many victims end up feeling deeply discouraged from reporting crimes because they believe the effort will ultimately lead nowhere. The process can seem intimidating, exhausting, and emotionally draining, especially when they expect skepticism, long delays, or a lack of meaningful follow-up. Instead of imagining support and resolution, they picture paperwork, retelling painful experiences, and possibly being ignored, so remaining silent begins to feel easier than reopening the wound.

Over time, this perception grows into a powerful barrier that keeps incidents hidden. When people think reporting will not produce justice, protection, or accountability, they convince themselves there is no practical benefit in coming forward. As a result, fear, resignation, and a sense of futility replace the motivation to seek help, leaving many victims to cope alone rather than entering a system they believe cannot or will not change the outcome.

>>306007
>how to react to insults
Actually, I don't even know how to react even in a normal conversation when I'm talking to someone I'm not close, kek. My social skills have only improved slightly because I've accumulated experience and observed how others react to everyday situations.
>best of luck anon
Thanks, brother.
>>306009
I don't think that just by seeing me recording they would take me seriously but I need to at least try. Fortunately, I still have the contact of some people who witnessed the harassment in HS, this can be of some help.
>>306010
What discourages me the most is having to learn to deal with something complex on my own. I'm not used to doing difficult things alone.

move the hell away for the love of magic. you've nothing to lose anyway. one city or another is all the same for somebody like you. there'll be your peace, or as much as a modern day wizard can have

>>305928
>not even worth thinking about
t. never been called names in his entire life

i can't believe some people have such low self awareness as you do. not bothering about shit is a decades long process of internalizing complex self knowledge and even then it's only a conscious construct that has to continuously keep the unconscious in check.

>>305927
yes bully memories still haunts me after more than a decade.

>Being me
>got a job
>everything is ok for the first time in my entire life
>speak to coworkers
>after some months coworkers begin to act WAY too familiar. like, a lot

>begin to throw shit at each other, me included

>one of them point out a delicate situation about me not going to work past week

it hurts
he laughs
everyone laughs
i fucking wish him to shut the fuck off
got so much shit inside me so I cant figure a way of resolving this withouth violence

my instincts are telling me to throw a punch as revange for all those years being bullied in highschool
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>306076
Just found out hydrogen sulfide can be manufactured through drain cleaners and garden sulpher powder.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/1f4hbxf/slashs_tragic_stepdaughters_cause_of_death_at_25/

Seems to be a reliable and common suicide method.

I just need a reliable delivery mechanism now. A way to hit myself with a 1000 ppm dose for instant unconsciousness and death, in a way that doesn't get anyone else killed from the poisonous gas accidentally.

>>306072
Just drink a whole bottle of vodka in one go.
I know a guy that did that at a party as a challenge, then he went to bed and never woke up.

Please guys don't kill yourselves. You are capable of more than you imagine. Please at least give Jesus a chance in your lives.

>>306082
we don't serve false gods

Amerilards are so fucking lucky, imagine being able to just dome yourself whenever you feel like with a glock you got for free with your happy meal and chicken nuggies from McD's.

reverse it once and for all! NO HALF MEASURES AGGHGHRHRHRHRH

>>306039
R U sure it's not lithium?
(While lithium is toxic, they use lithium to treat anxiety… I think.)

>>306039
i like :3

Eat lead

Moved to >>>/b/1033227.

>>305758
>wizard doesnt know these are also carb heavy

Not really. You can make pasta using pork rinds, bake them gently and cut them up.

>>305763
the point is that these options are not prepared pasta types continent of wheat or arsenic-laden rice. carbohydrate-dense repasts set together from non-wheaten non-rice sources are fine but not always easy to identify or make…and in any case the eating of pig or the skin of a pig is never healthy.

binge drinking recently broke me out of a pretty bad depressive episode.

>>305763
AFAIK, "carb heavy" foods differ in terms of digestion speed though.

>>305795
don't over-do.

>How are you supposed to know if you just have mental illness or if you are disabled by that mental illness?
If you're cognizant enough to ask this, then you're very likely not mentally ill. The entire prospect of 'mental illness' is not being able to introspect and be concerned with ideas related to your own capability or the consequences of being placed in an uncomfortable situation. You can try to claim some sort of social disorder such as social anxiety, but that's a learned disorder not inherent to some sort of physical ailment of the brain, so the government might not care. Don't fall for the "I'm forever helplessly mentally ill because I don't particularly enjoy being in crowded places" ruse. By all means fake it to get out of jury duty, but don't willingly lower your own expectations of yourself because some memelords online have convinced you that you're braindead in spite of you proving yourself able to communicate functionally.

>>305894
otoh think about how bad op feels. here he brought something he thought was enlightening thoughts and now he has to face my cynical responses.

ironically such responses were what killed me inside so i guess i'm just returning to the world what i received from it or whatever.

now i kinda feel like a bad person, guess i'll go ruminate or something

>>305874
You're essentially describing a gnostic position – that we are by origin gods wrongly bound into material shells by some lesser deceiving demiurgic deity. "ει θεος: you are a god" is one of the original pythagorean dicta cluing the young learner into the knowledge that he is a mortal god entrapped inside an aesthetic counter of true reality, or what we in modern language call a "simulation".

>So perhaps I would deliberately choose limitation and pain, not out of cruelty toward myself but out of a search for novelty and significance

You're attempting to form reason for the suffering of our human lives. I applaud that, as it is not easy nor in any way logically intuitive. For my own part I have no strong answer. Even the traditional four-way theological parting of – good god (theism), idle god (deism), no god (atheism), evil god (gnosticism) – seems explanatorily incomplete to me.

>would be to abandon omniscience, to step inside a fragile and limited perspective.

This is thematically similar to plato's dialogue "Meno" where knowledge is said to be latent (that is, "hiding") in our transmigrating souls but still susceptible of being teased out to its original fullness by a competent teacher. The pythagorean concept of metempsychosis also qualifies this notion of our lives being broken up intervals between which we are bound to make connective sense.

>In that state, eternity would blur into stillness. Without risk, loss, or change, pleasure would lose its meaning and collapse into a constant background noise. You would exist, but never move forward, never discover, never grow.

This reminds me of some character's answer in morrowind (a computer game about gnosticism fitted to a narrative stage of knights and medieval times) touching on the question of why Lorkhan (the elder scrolls' version of the demiurge) created material reality (tamriel) and his answer was something like “because he found the peacefulness of the aedric realm to be unexciting and dull”. This then graduates into the familiar problem of whether the demiurge himself is evil or not…and I think in original platonism the demiurge was never assigned a clear moral color of good or evil (which accounts for why plotinus attacked Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>305874
>If I were living inside a virtual simulation as a kind of player inhabiting this world, I would start wondering whether the point of the simulation might actually be to experience suffering


The Great Filter Theory: there is something that kills life on every other planet save for ours, but not the universe.
We're *put* here into this uncozy simulation to see if The Great Filter lies somewhere in our lifetime.

So far, Stanislav Petrov is the only just-a-human hero credited as the literal saviour of the world

there are a couple of "ideas" like aliens, new age, simulation and so on which is just fake religion in disguise. I believe Seraphim Rose wrote a book about this

If this world is a simulation, it's not because you're the player here.

See, a super-advanced civilazition that have made it would inevitably start running simulations of more primitive civilizations to see "something" out of curiosity. So maybe we're digital toys of some space era people?

See, there are some good reasons to try and run tests on virtual civilizations:

* The Great Filter (to see if we would whack each other back into Stone Age, really)
* The Matrix (don't ask WHY though. Maybe they're having fun harvesting our something)
** Loosh/"gavvakh" something something
*** Maybe loosh would be the energy of the desire to change the world, not just suffering as in pain. In layman terms: "butthurt" resentment, not just sorrow that makes you weep.
* probably some hardcore bootcamp to teach people feelings. Why? To make people grateful for living in space age and not XXI century of misunderstanding and "unfiltered Internet that saps you"
* Maybe a really long movie.