/dep/ - Depression

The imposition edition. How many times have you done this? Previous https://wizchan.org/dep/res/303254+50.html

Do you know how to drive?
You can't get a job in America unless you know how to drive

This is the classic "suicide general", where we discuss methods and say farewell to our fellow wizards, quite different from that other thread in the catalog.

I'm currently 26, almost 27 (rings a bell?). And I can't take it anymore. I will soon depart from life through hanging. I haven't done it yet because I live in a shithole and there are always people around making noise and being nosy. I will just wait till it's very quiet so I can go to the woods and end this miserable existence.

I don't care if it might "get better". Existence itself is a curse and we're all gonna die anyway. I've read enough pessimist books and life affirming books and I side with the former. I don't need your compansion, because the thought that I will soon disappear is the only thing that makes me happy. I'm not even sad because of this.

I just wanna share my story.


Whatdver I did to exit the /dep/ zone (for now, at least) and the endless sadness, it all was… random


Getting a job that has no colleagues, and only one boss? Random "warehouse worker needed" entry in a random find-a-job type app

Fixing my sleep? Accidentally discovered here and there what clothing helps me to sleep/what temp is comfortable/how to treat my AC/there is "background noise for sleep" technique/accidentally discovered this "despression may be caused by ruined sleep, studies suggest" theory…


…and so on.


(example: pajamas with a blanked in the summer = bad, empty bedsheet, a t-shirt and undies - okay)

any wizards choose to take psychiatric meds?
and also what's the deal with assisted/medically induced suicide these days?

i hate crawling back to antidepressants but when my thoughts start getting too dark that i can't metabolize them on my own with meditation, and i can't concentrate on anything, i just need something to take the edge off, and if i'm not abusing substances, it's really hard to think of anything that will work better than prozac. but i hate that i need them. my old doctors would say something like, "well what if you needed glasses would you hate them and refuse to wear them? Or just get glasses and live your life?"

Seems switzerland actually lets non-citizens have assisted suicide? my mental health is not really severe enough probably… i don't have a terminal illness or anything… just a tootheache and dysthimia that makes me want to escape dealing with it head on… i had a fleeting relief by researching it and seeing it exists, but the thought has since passed (for now)

Starting a new anti-suicide general as the original has been bump-locked.

Helping wizards to understand that persuasive feelings of suicide can be bested.

Further the discursive spirit of this thread will remain the same as the first: to counter the general luring tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads through sharing positive practical advice purposed to reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.

(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care (many have already done this, to no worthwhile avail)
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain. Delimiting ingestion of both is wise.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open whichever windows punctuate your room and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.

I've done my part. Anyone else?

Let's discuss strategies for getting rid of pessimistic thoughts. No negativity allowed in this thread.

I know this is a meme, but taking a shower can completely turn my mood around and make my worries go away, even if it's just for a couple of hours. Listening to uplifting and happy music is also very effective for me. Sometimes I have to force myself at first, but generally it changes my mood.

What are some things you wizs do to minimize depression?

ОК, i just dont get it


My mother keeps calling me at my workplace over the fact my pants look "horrible", "off-putting", and other stuff


I am busting me arse here to earn some money to cover her expenses yet she would start a fucking opera scene over wrong type of pants I am wearing.


Ugh.

For years, I was believing I am an autistic debile with asexuality-like condition, now I realise it was me mum all along, teaching me to be nervous over this or that irrelevant detail here or there - stuff people would normally give no friks about

Every morning I'm nauseous, really nauseous, sometime I puke and when I'm not nauseous I get random abdominal pain.
When I'm not nauseous or in pain I may have shortness of breath and tachycardia, often I'm also constipated.
Despite the vomit and constipation I try to eat and drink as much as I can, I'm losing weight and I fear to end up bedbound if I don't do so.
I've done some medical tests like blood tests, endoscopy, ecography, with no evidence of disease…still I'm really sick.
And my problem is I'm monitored by my parents, despite being an adult I have no freedom and they don't want to help me with suicide but I can't live like this.
I'm being tortured with no end in sight.

I'm going broke, and I really don't know how to deal with this fact. I went to 4 doctors to treat it, but none of them worked, and no matter how many medications I took, I was never able to overcome this problem. But these only caused me terrible side effects, such as fatigue, weight gain, apathy, a lot of disinterest in everything, and alopecia, but they were never able to attack the impulses. Violence never stops.
Sometimes I blame my family for raising me in such a violent environment, but then I think it's better to bury the past and look forward. But sometimes it is difficult, since it is not about the violence of 10 or 15 years ago, it is about things sometimes from less than a week ago.

I feel like an alcoholic, where instead of keeping a place free of that poison, it is offered to me in all shapes, sizes, colors and flavors.