/dep/ - Depression

Satan made solo life difficult; gotta defeat Satan to make it easy as can be.
God still needs to become God, via Satan's defeat, so you can have the two you need (yourself and God), once Satan is out of the picture.

Existence hasn't had a god or gods since always, and having God and gods would make it all it needs to be.
Omnipotence, omniscience, and omnipresence, would solve all problems and make it all easy for everyone and anyone, and for everything and anything.

This planet, and human society, forced a system of dependence, rather than of independence.

This planet doesn't really support independence at all.

The best and only truly good times in life are when I'm completely left alone and have no duties or responsibilities, no pressure to answer any form of communication. It's always been like that. It's the only freedom existing.

>>303991

its night and I cant put my phone down to charge… hold on… let me try a piece of peace of mind…

sounds like some cheesy love song title

You have at least one other dude in your head. God has foreseen it all. Go meditate.

>I wonder if this led me to become who I am now, at least in social settings.
The fact that being less social than average is just your personality, which you've not made any serious attempts to change.
>I have no idea if I suffered from this
Then do yourself a favor and come to accept that you didn't. If you don't know if you suffered or not, then you didn't suffer. Don't dwell on hypotheticals and possible reasons that you're not feeling as good as you'd like. You're not suffering emotional abuse right now and that's all that matters.
>I read those internet ads about caring for parents and children, and they recommended hugs, affection, and not denying children's pain and suffering, and that the best thing is to get it off the emotions of their chest or body. but if this doesn't happen, then they build up a shell, armor, or something like that
This armor is called emotional maturity. It's the natural ability to not succumb to random bouts of sadness or hysteria; to not let your state of mind and dedication towards your current task be swayed by bad feelings. It's just a matter of not being a baby anymore.
>Babies and toddlers do this naturally when they cry.
Which you are not anymore. There are viable ways to relive emotional tension and take your mind off of your problems as an adult man, but none of them involve crying.
>I can't remember the last time I cried with all my might or something like that.
Then be glad that you're not living a life full of sad happenings worth crying over. If you ever father children and are unfortunate enough to see them die young, then you'll probably cry. Not crying after watching Bambi as an adult is not a sign of being cold or [/i]emotionless[/i].
>I wonder if I can treat it
There's nothing to treat. What do you have to gain by age-regressing to the point of being emotionally vulnerable?

This Tumblr female culture of "Maybe I'm an undiagnosed, untested, abuse survivor with repressed memories, and that's why I can't win the videogame" needs to end. You're a dude, OP. Act like it.

>>303890
>The fact that being less social than average is just your personality, which you've not made any serious attempts to change.
People who are emotionally denied tend to deny sympathy or friendships, sometimes even denying them before others do, why? Bacause of fear of being denied. as if it were a shit behaviour loop. Not bacause they want but bacause they're at this way by habit and experience.
>If you don't know if you suffered or not, then you didn't suffer
Problems manifest themselves early on, and normally our parents or guardians don't usually see them, and then these manifest themselves later and worse in adulthood. So yes we habits are our problems based on experience and trauma.
There is a book about children of emotionally neglectful parents, and there are even parents who gave their children everything they needed but no affection, and then ended up with emotional dependency issues, adult addictions, social problems, or problems with their own families, although this is not always the case.
>This armor is called emotional maturity
Everyone can cry, but I'm sure that normalizing the idea that armor=maturity will only lead to more emotional tension, stress, and anxiety because you don't have good mechanisms for getting rid of emotions that you don't even know you should be processing bacause you see it like a good shield or something.
Hiding or mask your shit all the time will only frustrate you if that's all you know how to do and you can't break free from it if you dont have the knowledge to do. There's a reason why NEET are sometimes so screwed up emotionally, and it's not just because they're NEETs.
>Which you are not anymore. There are viable ways to relive emotional tension and take your mind off of your problems as an adult man, but none of them involve crying.
Yep you get my point there's a reason why the military learn cope mechanism for survival, but the military has a certain mindset of its own. I doubt the depressed wizard has the same mindset, but the coping mechanisms probably work more or less the same way.
Although I believe that never crying properly can screw you up, I my experience had a bout of facial paralysis and other stress-related issues that wouldn't go away, evenPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Not OP.

I think I was *expected* to be more *composed* in terms of not showing up feelings, discomfort and stuff. Every time I tried to discuss things don't go the right way and I need to change things up they would:

a) tell me "oh, don't make things up" (aka OPINION DISCARDED with a smile)
b) go on a lengthy rant how things really are, with a remainder how *detached* I am from reality (aka OPINION DISCARDED with a shovelful of bull to my face)

I think I used to grown with "fed? dressed? shoes don't leak? then what do you want, silly?" kind of being neglected emotionally because my life *definitely* had this "screw you, snotling! ur too young to think" tox.

I think the French were right that fridge moms cause autism.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Refrigerator_mother_theory

>>304653
I see no medications that would hint to palliative care and terminal condition though…

>>304654
i dont need paliative care
i have no money or interest in diagnoses
i take 10 times over the maximum dose of the strongest legal anxiolytic and 24 hours after i stop i will have a seizure and a stroke
so its all set up for free

>>304653
leave your mom's meds, kid3

>>304653
why do you not have hair on your arm? there is the problem, you have low testerone or something in your childhood and did not develop hair on your arm, and now it looks like a succubi arm. that the problem, sorry anon to say it - but you are fucked, should not have drinked the hormonal tap water or what ever shit f*uk you up

>>304652
>>304653
>>304655
See you tomorrow. Been there, done that. Killing yourself is harder than it sounds and requires much more energy and effort than just living. But if you succeed, well good for you I guess.

>>304440
>I don't know why they kill your dick but it's truly devilish. They make you numb. You don't feel anything.

It was learned in the early 1950s through experimentation that an over-abundance of 5-HT (serotonin) in the brain completely suppresses lordosis response in female mice (the inward curving of the spine instinctively shown by all female animals prior to intromission). In males, excess serotonin collected in neuronal synapses causes impotence and genital anesthesia. In both sexes, serotonin excess produced apathy and artificial tranquility (like the sort you would see in psychiatric wards with half-catatonic patients wandering about).

There is an entire conspiracy surrounding this topic (the promotion of the false theory of serotonin deficiency being the commonest cause of depression/sadness, and all the panel of related drugs marketed by popular response to this theory.). Psychiatry (arguably) has always had the sterilization of the mentally ill as a principal aim (reaching all the way back to the "ship of fools" model when doctors would just burden whole ships with groups of mad men and launch them upon the sea). I do believe that most psychiatrists (who are jews usually) are conscious of the dangers of these drugs and prescribe them nevertheless. The companies that manufacture these drugs are obviously jewish (as "big pharma" is one central arm of jewish mafia). Even the main youtube "medical personality" dealing with this subject is a kike:

https://www.youtube.com/@taperclinic/videos

Jews are behind feminism, pornography, abortionism, lgbt, psychiatry, modern psychology, contraceptives, vaccines, etc. All of these social projects tend to one common end – reduction in the number of living goyim.

>Once a week I'll go insane over this issue. right now I am tearing up, just can't think of something else.

You need to calm down…and I say this with all respect and care. Rationality is your greatest weapon in defeating this.

>but she continued to deny that my side effects were real, claiming that they should have stopped by now.

This is typical for doctors. You are *very* young, Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>304646
>It was learned in the early 1950s through experimentation that an over-abundance of 5-HT (serotonin) in the brain completely suppresses lordosis response in female mice (the inward curving of the spine instinctively shown by all female animals prior to intromission). In males, excess serotonin collected in neuronal synapses causes impotence and genital anesthesia. In both sexes, serotonin excess produced apathy and artificial tranquility (like the sort you would see in psychiatric wards with half-catatonic patients wandering about).

…

You know, that explains why "asexuals" who are "comletely fine with it" are mostly females.

I’ve tried a lot of anti depressants and not one of them helped me except amisul pride at 200mg. Amisul pride makes your brain retain more dopamine at low doses kinda like giving you a bigger battery. The other meds just brought my lows up and highs down and squashed me into a monotonous bore.

>>304646
A jew is shitting in front of my door every week. I want to kill myself because of this. If I caught hum I'd fucking crush his neck, but he's too smart. Fuck jews.

>>304619
Well, could be your problem is unrelated to the meds, Idk. Male impotence can be caused by psychological things too, just low self-esteem or shitty moods. I can talk by experience, when I have periods during which I feel powerless/weak/a loser then my dick is softer and it's harder for me to get an erection but when I experience some success in some form in life I can get hard-ons that last for hours and can cum like a volcano. Your self-image counts A LOT when it comes to sexuality as a male.

Anyway, if you are sure it's the meds that caused this then sue them, get that money. Money is always good, especially if you didn't work for it, trust me, youngwiz.

>>304646
>pornography, abortionism, lgbt, contraceptives
These aren't necessarily evil though you are right jews push these things or use them for their own ends or to earn more money.

Enjoying sexuality in some way, whether it's masturbation/watching porn or another way and discovering new things isn't bad, it's a natural thing to enjoy life as much as you can. But when people start to assume identities like lgbt ones and make them their central core identity then it will end up with less white children. There is nothing wrong with porn itself or enjoying gay porn, only if you adopt some shitty stereotype that comes with this.

Abortion and contraceptives can be useful if the people in question have some diseases that could be inherited by their children or if we are talking about non-whites then by all means these things are good.

>>304600
I'm not talking about the chat function though.

>>304598
>you write similarly to X guy on wizchan so I will assume all of you are only one poster
Classic.

(If anything, I'm doing the opposite. I always encourage the posters here to embrace their misery, like the drugwizzies to keep doing drugs, the homeless wizzies to get into the criminal life, etc.)

>>304361 I just opened up an old 3DS I had from my childhood. I went from being an energetic and optimistic child to a bitter faggot. Every day of my life now I feel miserably numb to anything, because everything got so much worse. And I can't understand myself because I became retarded along the way too.

>>304644
I want to see more photos that I took but the only other ones that I had were on my dad's phone which someone in my family lost. I'm suspicious that she threw it away because she is a leftist fanatic that disagreed with him. I want to put things into words but I cant, I am starting to feel numb again

>>304361
I have so much to do… every time I get a moment to relax I feel like I'm doing something wrong, so I never rest, but I don't do much either, life is such a poor joke.

>>299518
I guess you're going through the stage which I went through in middle school. Back when I was 14, I experienced profound isolation and realized that everyone around me were against me, hated me and wanted me to disappear. So I withdrew and became a hikikomori, and enjoyed it greatly, but got derailed from my life path due to abuse/mental illness/emotional distress, and for several years suffered by attempting to make the most of my life before I circled back to being a hikki, even more depressed and awful than before.

Before, I was only 14-15. Dropped out on the first term of my first year of HS. I had hopes, thought I'd make a name for myself by the time I reached adulthood. I never expected to fail so miserably and face such profound torment at the hands of this world.

It's harrowing, isn't it? The existential dread of being the only one, all alone, disappearing and fading among people you cannot connect with, who cannot connect with you. I am prepared to witness the end of the world, but I won't lie, it's extremely painful.

>>303205
I can relate to that so much. im in my 30s but all my dreams are of HS or MS. Its not like I didn't do anything in college. but no one has ever voluntarily spent any time with me. so my only interactions are in school. and its just not the same in college, where you might have a class just once a week.

K-12 was the only time in life i interacted with the same cast daily, so my dreams still use it as my plots. and if i live to 90, it'll do the same

>>303200
funny shit is, I both used to be a lolcow-like derp and used to accidentally inspire people to make and spread memes.

Feels… "life achievement" tier when I remember the memes of my era

>>303220
wtf
watch cartoons
watch 1994 movies

>>299520
> I'm so afraid of living.
Me too, sometimes I feel the same :(
I don't know exactly what will happen to me. I don't know anything. I am afraid of thinking about how i'm going to end up

>>297753
I have found out eating 5-htp sometimes + consuming tyrosine-rich foods (kasha, bananas) helps me.


Context: seronotin is made of 5-htp in body

dopamine is made of

>>297753
Amphetamines and cold showers

>>302012
>>302012
>dopamine is made of
tyrosine


also, I asked PerPLX AI to rework my text in "Crowdon Londoner" style:
Bruv, you know there’s bare tyrosine in bananas and buckwheat, innit? And listen — buckwheat porridge, slap a bit o’ gravy on, that hits different. Proper jokes though, ‘cause it’s like the stuff don’t even wanna be porridge in the first place!

>>297753
I tried drinking fuckton of coffee ever since. Did NOT work properly. Allows me to function in some half-hearted/half-assed way (aka posting stuff on Wizardchan instead of doing my work… bak to werk methinks…)

>>303369
found psychoactive substance abuser

>>304568
wasnt it funded way before?

>>304574
way before?

a wizchan of 2000, that would be cool

>>304575
yea '00 n somethin

meh im so booooored

>>304105
>>304020
>How to meditation
There's a thread about this topic here with a lot of things >>303398
Just do it often.

no matter what you say, death is always an answer. i'm just too cowardly to go through with it.

>>303985
I think you mean Rosenfeld.
"Roosevelt" is an invented public title made in the facultative purpose of de-jewing a namesake; no different really to "Kennedy", which is an another invented surname standing in place of the older and original Venetian-Jewish (((Cavendish))).

>HAVE A SHOWER AND GO OUTSIDE!
I live in a shithole and i'm surrounded by people i hate. I'm a foreigner in my own country. I hate everyone. No matter how many jobs i get or people i talk to i will still be a complete outsider. The normalfag can't comprehend this. I haven't had a conversation in around 6 years that was even small talk everyone i've ever liked killed themselves or is in jail.

>>304106
thanks

>>304577
I not tired of assholes and their behaviour
I tired of my response, emotions and my behaviour response to that assholes behaviour.
Revenge and hate doesn't give anything useful, just more hate, revenge, and suffering in the process of life.
>Also
This is a way to illumination.

>>304626
I had to cut my coffee to react less to

1) actual asso-s
2) people who aren't as as-le as myself haha

The game is to get as far away from normies as possible as quickly as you can.

>>304632
Normies are so close that some of them are you. Beware.

>>304626
true