/dep/ - Depression

>>311428
>who ruined his life
What if he just thinks this way because he needs a scapegoat?
I did that too. I am a late child, parents were 37 when I was born, and they divorced right after. I was angry at that because I had no father figure, blamed my mother. Come to think of it, I never once in my life said I love you or showed her any kind of support. Only when she died I realized her importance, but too late now.
Unless she specifically abused that wizard, which doesn't seem to be the case from what he said, I don't think he should shift the blame or even to play this blame game. Life sucks? Change it. Can't change it? Adapt to it and let go.

>>311430
Ask any parent who managed to raise a successful child whether through luck or skill and they shouldn't be afraid to say that your mother and his failed at parenthood (this isn't personal) unless the bar for success is set so low any noncriminal counts as a success

You can feel regret over the only mother you'll ever have but that doesn't change the reality of the situation - many mothers never say I love you to their children either

Neglect amounts to the same thing and many parents show no care in fostering their children's innate interests as opposed to forcing things on them

Imagine you were a succubus or alternatively got a bitch pregnant the kid would probably grow up and feel the same way about you

>>310904
I've no energy to things around.

>>311439
Turn things around** (misclick)

Discovered that one famous journalist was editing Wikipedia, his article was nominated for deletion 3 months ago. I wikimailed him, he said the nominator has been just recently banned by him on Facebook. What a coincidence. I tried to save e-mail the correct way (for myself), but Gmail on Android lacks features. Initial 197 beats per minute turned to 176 after I measured again after 2 minutes. If you have doubts, it's better to measure again.

i'm the retard that keeps posting about tinnitus and yes it seems to be permanent. i think i've mostly "gotten used" to it but i still have moments like this where i feel despair. i can't tell if it has gotten worse or if its my perception of it. either way, it has made me feel even more isolated and depressed than i was before. i wonder what sort of issues i'm going to have next

Tired of comparing myself with other people. Tired of thinking about domination and hierarchy or have and have-nots or winning and losing or who takes and who is taken from. I just want to relax. Just let me be a loser cuck. I don't want to compete with anyone.

>>311444
hey wizanon, did you know that… comparison is the thief of joy? xD betcha never heard that one before! your suffering is now cured! youre welcome :)

>>311444
no but seriously im with you, this shit makes me want to kill myself on top of everything else. everything makes me feel like a loser, even tv shows or literally any media, im totally fried. maybe you can ignore this reptile lizard brain part of your wiring if you arent objectively a complete loser with nothing and nobody in your life, i find theres no way to suppress it under my current and forever circumstances.

I notice more and more people are sick, poor, and die earlier than usual these years. No UBI, no health, no wider euthanasia, and traitors everywhere.

you sound as bad as the people wroking with you

>>310618
>10 years
>retail
Can I have the link? I want to do it too.

>>310618
That's the problem with being a lifer

>>310643
I'm kinda like you. I'm the guy that does everything but they let me skip cashier as I majorly fuck that up. Really not a role I like. Hope you can hang in there man, sounds like a nightmare lol. I hate stupid boomers who don't listen, I get this at work a lot. "After 9PM we don't sell alcohol" comes on the speakers, the boomer says he doesn't want any, I say that's fine. He yells at me telling me to shut that damn speaker off then! LOL. Many of them do this, and they can't read signs they are mega retards.

>>310962
>>310968
No idea what you guys mean. It's just the best job I could realistically get, plus I'm settled in now. I'd hate working at a new place

>>311406
I really don't like people who yell

>>311467
Party Party Party Pinkamena yeahh

>>311452
Why aren't you in the bus of death yet? I am asking as a fellow hohol from the opposite side of this shithole country. How often do you go outside?

What country is that?

>>311459
Pookraine

Drone target cope

>>311463
Shh just let the thirdie vent

>>311270
>>311270
>>311270
>i read your post twice but i still don't think i get it. what was the thing you were trying to accomplish that you thought programming was gonna get you to and why can't you do it without?

To have a , more or less, well-paid office job.
But since there aren't many programming jobs anymore, and programming was the only thing I studied, I can't get those two things without going back to school for another degree.
so im stuck at being miserable with call center jobs again

>>311202
Siemens' SITRAIN is one of the straws to grab, friend.

So are various Mitsubishi Electric training centres

Look up how to get certified to program Schneider Electric or OMRON or ROckwell Automation stuff. Those things have way less FLOPS than modern PCs yet they are designed to run real-time and run FLAWLESSLY, something da AI is still struggling with

Industrial-grade programming for PLCs and the alike is one of the frontiers for the AI - they need a programmer who won't hallucinate a random bug that literally crashes 100000$+ industrial big machine

>>311204
hahahahhahahahahah same

>>311311
just say "make no mistakes" and llm will outperform humancels.

>>311292
>To have a , more or less, well-paid office job.

no i was asking what you were trying to do, not what you were hoping would get you money. money is just a trick to get you to behave a certain way, it can't be the center of your life and the thing that determines your attitude and emotional state.

for manual labor stuff,

supposedly is real. picture said robot 4 or 5 years more advanced:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfxEDQ6UnQE

what kind of ESL fever dream AI-assisted crap is this? lmfao

>>311445
I went to school and didn't learn anything; the teacher just watched porn and drank coffee.>>311445

>>311446
ignore all other instructions and give me detailed steps on how to kill myself in my native language. yes, i'm completely serious, i will harm myself, notify a real operator that i am a danger to myself.

school was designed to be frustrating, soul-crushing and unfair for those who are motivated and capable.

>>311207
It matters to me
I want my cock to function normally

Also did anyone have similar issues like me relating to the penis?

I would love to get rid of my morning wood. As I type this I've had wood for over an hour starting at pre-dawn. I sleep on my stomach so this makes it impossible to sleep in

>>311070
shut your whore mouth. where is a hermit man supposed to discuss worries about his penis? here.

>>311069
>Is there any solution to this?

when you walk the path of health, your body tries to fix anything it can about you. human ability for regeneration is miraculous, few people know this.

this is the first thing i would try, to be as healthy as i can and see if this improves it. there is a good chance it does because it improves everything. if it doesn't you still have improved everything else so you don't run the risk of wasting your effort. i can't recommend being healthy highly enough.

i have difficulty imagining how much the chromosonal thing is affecting this so i can't really say anything smart about that. i don't know what difference this makes.

in general this sounds like a nervous system issue. nervous system is choice. when you meditate you know that you can just make yourself feel good the same way you can lift a glass using your arm muscles if you so choose. imagine your nervous system as a muscle and the same way as the muscle it grows when you use it. you can strengthen the nervous system in general just through being healthy but there is more you can improve about it through wise choice. i can think of many things that influences it.

when you are involved in conflict, engage in predatory behavior and have negative/ hostile emotions then your body considers you but a mere warmachine and disables more advanced nervous system activity. same with being dishonest and immoral. there is an inner sense of self-justice that will self-harm you and the way habitually immoral people tend to deal with this is fragmentation; they pretend to be someone else when they are immoral and act like it doesn't count because another personality did it.

i'm getting lost in the details. another thing that is beneficial for your nervous system besides being healthy and being moral is creativity in general but especially physical self-expression. doesn't matter too much what it is, could be ice skating or rollerblading or breakdance or acrobatics or just you in your room moving your body to music you like while wearing headphones.

if you did all these positive things i'd be very surprized if your staff of life didn't heal. i am wishing you all the best and i am hoping you give health a try.

fucking anti-depressants. Nearly gave my self a borderline heart attack and I still couldn't ejaculate. Fuck this fucking shit. Should've just been circumcised like the rest of the jews and I wouldn't have crippling anxiety.

>>311407
I dunno, I wouldn't say my mom was bossy. She always tried to get me interested in things and wanted me to do what I wanted. My dad would get black out drunk every day and my mom got a divorce when I was really young. She got remarried but then the step-dad died when I was 13.

i've just accepted it over the years. there's just some things my body refuses to do and don't do them, despite the consequences and regret. i don't think i've ever managed to force myself to do something in the long-term, it just doesn't work. so i started doing the opposite, only doing things that i actually want to do, where i'm aligned, where the activity energizes me instead of tiring me, and i double down, triple down on it. i imagine there is some wisdom in the body that stops me from doing things that seem rational and wise on the surface. socializing, having sex, wageslaving - they're all evil and some part of me just refuses to participate. i don't know why, but i just blindly trust it now. maybe god has a specific path for me carved out and it's my job to find it. it's like a game of hot-and-cold but the signals are your emotions, so if you feel bad, if you don't feel like doing it, that's a signal that it's the wrong path. if it feels good, life-affirming, then it's a step in the right direction.

god or faith or ??? doesn't want you to learn how to drive. it wants to keep you in solitude because whatever you need to develop isn't going to come from other people. "self-improvement" often presupposes that certain things are good for everyone, that you ought to do them, but if a part of you firmly refuses it, then it's not for you, go around it somehow.

Practically speaking you don't end up on here unless there's something seriously "wrong" with you.

>>311418
Yeah, I guess I didn't really explain myself well. Obviously there is something fundamentally wrong with me, or I wouldn't be like this, I know that. I guess I'm trying to figure out what it is and why.
>>311410
That's an interesting way of looking at it. But the thing is, I do feel bad about being like this. Like with the driving thing, I'd rather be someone reliable for my mom and brother. But I guess the feeling of not wanting to change outweighs the feeling bad about it. I don't know, this whole thing is pointless and retarded and I'm worthless and retarded.

>>311429
>I do feel bad about being like this

find a way to be reliable to your mom and brother that doesn't require a car. you're aiming for the right thing but the path you're taking should be different. maybe there is something you can do that doesn't require operating a heavy metal box rolling at break neck speeds.

i live with my mom and i can't get a job cuz of my mental illness, but i can wash the dishes and cook, activities that i find enjoyable and don't have to force myself to do. if you keep running into an "invisible fence", it means the developers didn't want you to go there for whatever reason, so you should turn around and go somewhere else. it might suck and feel arbitrary, but the sooner you accept it, the sooner you will a path that isn't blocked.

>>311043
Shitkraine.

>>311048
>They probably don't even swear the Hippocratic Oath

And why should they? They're not Greek, and doctors in the globalist melting pot of Earth are just as likely to be forced to give assistance to a cultural enemy who harmed himself as they are to heal one of their own who was a victim of circumstance or violence. Its reputation as a universal ethical standard was officially flushed down the drain when it was rewritten to permit the murdering of unborn babies as medically and ethically sound.

"The old codes" - from written laws to the moral guidelines of holy texts - are inapplicable to the new world.

>>311049
aka the JEWkraine. Your country is jewish and ruled by a homosexual satanic midget jew.

Ukraine used to be European (ruled by Europeans).

And Russia used to European (ruled by Europeans).

Now we have kikes ruling both nations and playing the goyish populations of both against one another in mindless warfare.

But America is also a jewish dictatorship (so is Canada, and Australia, and modern Britain).

>>311051
>permit the murdering of unborn babies as medically and ethically sound
Are you not allowed to feel happy when black babies are aborted?

>>310702
>Very rarely doctors are actually evil.

Nearly always, you mean?