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It can and it will always get worse.
No matter how the future plays out I can be sure that im gonna suffer in worse ways then I have so far, it can always always get that much worse the ride never ends untill you die, and from all of the bullshit that happens not even that is sure, its possible that this torment will continue forever damn it all
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that's way too much
ideally it should be more like this, from behind>>278594


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I recall reading a story about a man who built a special hat for himself that had a device in it that would trigger multiple shotguns to shoot at once so he could commit a painless suicide.


you are correct. She is going to shoot off her face and survive; disturbing image


Some examples go against that. Plenty of athletes who started quite late and yet made it at a top level. Francis Ngannou started in his mid 20s, before that he had "experience" being a boxer, but it wasn't anything serious, just and and off sparing. Sandra Sánchez started at 33 and within a few years she started winning gold medals and beating opponents way younger than her. Mira Potkonen won a bronze medal in boxing , she started at 28, had no history in any sport before that, she was just a housewife, had to stop because she was getting too old, could have done more probably but there's an age limit. It'd be a pain in the ass to name other people, but there's a few guys who started in their late 20s and still achieved success in sport at international level. It's often short lived because of the age limit, but they do it.

For the "top tier cerebral scientist" part, you're also wrong. Joan Birman started in her mid 40s, was one of the top researchers in knot theory. Preda Mihailescu got his PhD at the age of 42, years later he proved the Catalan conjecture. Albrecht Fröhlich left school very early and only joined university back at 30 after fleeing from Germany, he's considered to be a very important mathematician from the 20th century. Same as athletes, other examples but it's a pain in the ass to name them all. And those fields are rather narrow, in other domains plenty of late starters succeeded (acting, movie making, music, art, business, etc…). Your limitations aren't reality, your body doesn't know what "age" is, if you've given up that's one thing but don't try to poison the minds of others, there's probably no better feeling than chasing a dream and hoping for redemption.


Should it? Ricardo Lopez, the Bjork stalker who filmed his suicide, used a .38, aimed in an even more inclined angle and managed to die.

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I know that majority of Indians will probably never leave India. But I grew up watching American movies as a kid, I was frequently bullied by my parents and people around me which made me seek un-Indian media, an escapism of sorts. And some of the happiest memories of my shitty childhood involve watching movies like 'Dr. Dolittle', 'Home Alone', and 'Baby's Day Out', I have always dreamt of how cool life could be in America, with sexy highways, unbelievably beautiful nature, big houses, pick-up trucks, polite people, less pollution, and incredibly minuscule population density compared to the shithole where I live.

Are there any turd worlders here who understand my pain? How do you cope? I have tried cutting media and shows from the first world, as they make me feel miserable afterwards, but watching them is just too addicting.
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might as well let the self-fulfilling prophesy be fulfilled, and pursue a life of crime as the man with no prints


Saw something similar some time ago on youtube, with some retarded colored hair white bimbo in Japan filming some old Japanese guy staring at her acting stupid in front of a camera. Young westernized succubi are the worst thing in existence.


There isn't, at least not in India.
Kek they'll just use DNA.


>i think you should just imagine walking down the street of a suburban neighborhood and seeing your fellow indians and asiatics walking out of the house and tending to their lawns. kinda ruins the idea of living here
It's insane how your ego makes you think that third worlders like OP want to be around white people no matter what. Nobody gives a shit about that, they don't come here for the people lol. The part about watching american media is even more retarded, everybody watched american media because it exported itself massively, a ton of third worlders wtached South Park, The Simpsons, Spongebob, Star wars, or even 2 and a half man. It's about the quality of life. They'd be fine among themselves, and newsflash, vast majority of the time when they get there they stay among themselves, even as they rise to success. It's because you have life on easy mode if you're not retarded. A nice big house, a really good salary, low population density, plenty of great small cities to retire to… and you can send like a tenth of your income to your family back home, it will be enough for them to live very comfortably instead of suffering. But no, you have to complain about that, even though the diaspora in the US are extremely well integrated, successful and don't ruin the quality of life in the US, quite the contrary. A good example is the Nigerian community:

"In the US, Nigerians are the most highly educated of all groups, with 61 per cent holding at least a bachelors degree compared with 31 per cent of the total foreign-born population and 32 per cent of the US-born population, according to 2017 data from the Migration Policy Institute.

"More than half of Nigerian immigrants (54 per cent) were most likely to occupy management positions, compared with 32 per cent of the total foreign-born population and 39 per cent of the US-born population."


Sorry, but I do wish I could live only around whites and East Asians. The "keeping among themselves" is true and is a hopelessness-type curse.

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 No.274257[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

How do I stop thinking about my lost years?

I spent the last years on imageboards, video games, tv, random youtube videos and got 0 skills or life experience.

With 31 people my age who either have a job or skills already got 10+ years of experience in the said thing. So I feel hopelessly behind and every time I want to learn something I start kicking myself for not doing it sooner when I had better conditions. My life was pretty comfy compared to now 10 years ago and I feel terrible wasting it. Now I can't say I'm ~finding myself~ anymore, I get less financial support and my health is getting worse and past 30+ the odds of random health issues increase on top of the constant regret over wasted time.

I know the robotic answer is that I can't change the past so it's pointless to think about but how can I really make peace with it mentally instead of trying to suppress these negative emotions with logic?
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I feel like this is a worlds first that someone wasted as much time as me just doing nothing on imageboards. It was essentially a self-induced coma.

Others at least got their jobs or if they were NEETs they had online friends and played a lot of video games, watched movies or even read books and practiced some skill.

At this point I fear daily imageboard use altered my brain in ways that it would be noticeable in brain scans.


The vast majority of people and I mean like 99+% of them don't lead conscious lives. They get a job and lose themselves in it. Barely any of them ever reach mastery. They learn the necessary and just carry on with said basics. They do learn over the years, but it's barely anything, and it's quite slow. Most of the knowledge they posess took decades to amass and it stops very early. You can start at any age, but if you do it consciously and make a direct effort towards learning/excellence you can surpass them in no time, because they're not trying. I'm not trying to make you feel good, I'm just telling you how life is. It's sadly this boring. It's not a video game in which people just level up overtime and they don't stop leveling up. A guy learns a few things in his first year of working and he just rolls with that then stop focusing on work. Not only that, but also, the way people learn is grossly uneffective. Taking months to learn something that can be learned in a week.Absolutely garbage methodology. I've seen guys reach the same skill level in programming in only 6 months it took others nearly a decade. You're completely overestimating the average person. I mean that completely when I say that you could pick any hobby/skill/trade and become better than 95% of the people on earth in just a few months by completely dedicating yourself to it and using the right methodologies. In a sense, it's a blessing, it means it's never really over for us NEETs, because everyone is so fucking dumb and lazy.


>The vast majority of people and I mean like 99+% of them don't lead conscious lives
completely false. Also the rest of your post confuses consciousness with efficiency in learning, intelligence, and aptitude.
> it's never really over for us NEETs, because everyone is so fucking dumb and lazy.
You're still immature and have a chip on your shoulder. When you finally let go and stop comparing yourself to normies your thinking will be more coherent.


Yep, it's projecting time.


If anything, you cope with your own failings by projecting them onto the rest of the world. The whole post is nothing but that, see:
>Well I didn't do anything with my life, didn't learn anything new, and didn't move forward but normies are no better and I could surpass them if I dedicated myself
That's the reasoning behind your post. A weak cope. Do something instead of criticizing the rest. It certainly gets you nowhere or you wouldn't be posting something so pathetic.

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I live with my parents and NEET and keep my mind occupied with the internet and entertainment but occasionally something will happen to remind me of my situation and I get baffled and stunned over how I got myself into this mess. Like my parents mostly let me be but once in a while they will ask me what I am doing and when I will get a job and I sadly have no answer or they will have obnoxious guests over that make me wish I had my own place. Or I get reminded of something and it makes me realize how much time has passed with me making 0 progress.

Then since these things have no easy, fast solutions I retreat back into distractions.

Anyone else experiencing this?
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You'd be doing me and my victims a favour!


I'm still a wizkid in their early 20s, but all this neet thing already makes me too uncomfortable, any of the possible outcomes feels like a disaster to avoid, there is no gain, i only can choose looses.

I don't want to work, but I don't want to neet either, i never wanted to grow up and i never wanted to have to face anything in life, but all im'll gonna do is face things and endure things anyway.

The only winning move is not play.


Yes that is exactly how I have lived for years and years now. I think that is the basic NEET life and most of use live that. The lucky ones are left in peace by his parents and then the unlucky ones are constantly threatened to be kicked out or they are ven kicked out.


Save yourself now and this will be nothing but a bad memory. Redemption is the best feeling a man can ever feel. The difference between you and a normie isn't that huge in practice, at the end of the day you both have boring lives mostly filled with nothingness. It's huge in your head because you in our society titles hold way more weight than what they actually represent. Just fix it now and you'll feel at peace. The average normie isn't happy or fulfilled, they lead empty lives and numb themselves the same way you do. They don't make "progress" they just survive. They reach the milestones of having a car, house, stable job, and even family quite early maybe, but after that there's no going up, and in the 20th century that was a huge part of the crisis of the modern world. You'll reach that later, which is no big deal at all. Your past experience will make you realize how important all these things are and you'll appreciate them a lot more whereas the average person doesn't and ultimately never feel content. You'll look back at all this and it will all seem so distant, it won't even feel real. Wasting your time doing nothing isn't unique to NEETs, everybody does this. I know plenty of people who retired. Do you know what they do? They watch TV all day long. They walk around. They do nothing. They could still be physically active, but eh. Or some guys in their 30s/40s who started working very early and have a situation, even if not stable, most of their time is lost on nonsense when they're not working, such as sport, drinking, whatever the fuck really. There's a certain narcissism in all the overly dramatic nonsense you often see posted there. They think life is something grandiose and that NEETdom made you miss on that. No, that's not the case, it's boring, and boring is good. Average people don't do anything in particular, they work, go home and watch social media or TV or play video games.

You're right that there's no easy or fast solution, but it doesn't take as long as you may think, it doesn't take decades, you lose yourself completely in the missions and it takes a few years.

Why are you like this? I mean as a person. How can someone be like… this. I don't understand.



This is a great post

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 No.267760[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Share your various traumatic experiences that still haunts you to this very day.
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dealing with the white man and his owner was the main difficulty i faced in my life



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Shamelessly bumping my own thread on this lonely Tuesday night. Please accept this comfy apu as penance.


>This thread
This board*
This side of the internet**
This country***


Sorry but Apu is a Pepe and Pepe is banned as of 2016, mods might delete

[Last 50 Posts]


Wizards, I am discovering many reports of increased mental cloudiness in many unrelated parts of the internet. People generally to my judgement at least appear slower and more aggressive these days than in years past. The color of their minds has become grayer and far less sharp, if you will. Even the world itself feels "less real" and more muddled. Disassociation amongst normans is likewise being reported at higher rates today. What is going on exactly?

Perhaps Metal Gear Solid 2 has become reality: (((the patriots))) control information and as such they have created a world that is almost wholly built on deception, or similarly saturated in endless fake narratives. Is the absence of truth causing people to go mad??
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when did you first notice the change?


For the last 10 years or so there has been a global sickness growing and spreading


I'm finding more and more people running on autopilot than before
I don't know about other places but here I see less people doing less things
I don't mean people not leaving their house or something I just mean the variety of things, they just keep doing the same few things over and over when before there were different events, niche/specific places or things to do
not so much now.
Don't know if it's related


I think there are some deep systems of the mind breaking under the pressure, as we are reaching the turning point of overpopulation catastrophe. Our species is at a loss, with no coherent solution how to prevent the dramatic fall of the current civilisation. We are destroying the very air we breathe, building the most horrific automated killing machines. People can feel it that something is horribly wrong but we cant fix it. The future is a fog to us because for the first time, there are now no greener pastures to run toward, only deeper apocalyptic declines


It's not that deep, lay off the spiritual aspect of it, the reasons behind it are obvious. It's hormonal. Young men don't feel like young men and young succubi feel weird too. Everybody feels weird and unhealthy. Toxins, unhealthy diets, perma-online, always seeing stressy shit everywhere, masturbating all the time, etc… All of that is necessary, because the green pastures you mention were just a reaction to an incredibly bleak past. Man gets bored and self-sabotages, then fixes it all and beyond. When life gets too boring and peaceful, sickness appears. That's why you had all those serial killers pop out of nowhere in what was without a debt the best time to be alive in the US.

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 No.281123[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

The pursuit of happiness is a bunch of bullshit edition.

Previous edition
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Fucking insane, even at the bottom of the bottom when both guys have horrible lives, the guy will still be an asshole. There's no friend in this world, no friend at all.


The people on the edge of society banding together is a myth. The people on the edge of society are mentally unhinged, overwhelmed by their inability to deal with their emotions, and as such will cling to abusive values which allow them to attack people underneath them. Those who manage to step outside that mental experience and try to abandon all abuse of others because they were abused are exceedingly rare, especially on imageboards which are generally fully of emotionally retarded zoomers who manage their internal emotions with external concepts like politics.
Stop expecting anything meaningful from humans on the internet, this is just a sewer of retarded psychodrama.


Sometimes I see gems, a few weeks ago I saw a gem of a post from a guy who was a NEET until his late 20s but recovered and has a very fulfilling life (wife with 2 kids, own house, physically healthy, making nearly 6 figures a year) but I'll be honest, it wasn't posted here, I never see such stories here, I never saw a gem on this website. It's just depressing defeatism.


>I never saw a gem on this website
Probably because what you call a "gem" is prohibit by law here


Oh yeah you're right lol, I forgot how you can get banned for saying you've had sex on this board. Fucking hilarious, especially considering how the ones in charge are all non-wizards who often make fun of the guys on the board to feel superior.

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 No.249901[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

please post your experiences with anti depressants here

i'm starting on them (Citalopram) tomorrow and im scared that ill gain weight from it
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In my experience, they do not fix anything but they may help some people with their symptoms. Some people get worse with after taking them (suicidal thoughts can appear, for example). However, I feel a little a bit better with Remeron (mirtazapine). I have tried multiple drugs and I did some research and mirtazapine seems to have less side-effects than SSRI or SNRI drugs. The only side-effect I got was sedation at doses up to 15mg but doses over 15mg don't sedate me. Currently taking 22.5mg, will increase to 30mg soon.


I can't take life. I've been on zoloft before and it made me not care about anything which is scary now that im off it. Off it I had anxiety to want to achieve what I wanted, i guess? Though when i was on zoloft i immediately let that go, i dunno, it hurts right now.


So far I have been on Seroquel, Abilify, Lamotrigine, Latuda, Vraylar, and now I'm on Saphris. I fucking hated saphris starting out and now I am starting to hate it again. It really knocked me out to begin with which was nice, but I think it increased my anxiety tenfold so my benzo dose increased. After a couple of months it leveled out, but now I can't sleep for shit, combine that with trying to taper down my benzo dosage and honestly I am in pure hell. I want off this med and off meds altogether at this point, clearly nothing works since I am unable to fix the root problems in my life, it just feels like I am trying to stop a major hemorrhage with a tiny bandage, it just doesn't work. The only medication that worked pretty much straight off the bat was Vraylar, but it cased me to not be able to fucking pee properly so that was hell in of itself. Latuda was not too bad starting out either, but it's efficacy waned after a while and with the increased dosage I would get terrible akathisia in my legs when trying to sleep, and I never even took it properly with food. I had to go off it once I hit 60mg because it made me extremely suicidal.
My doctor suggested for me to look into lithium next if the Saphris didn't work out, but honestly at this point I just don't want to be on anythign else. I miss being unmedicated, being medicated I feel like I am just depressed with even more side effects and it just sucks. I have bipolar II, so the hypomania is not even a problem. I get severely depressed at least 6 months out of the year but after years of dealing with it I just don't care anymore, I have no desire to alleviate it. My anxiety and panic disorder are way more of a problem than my depression ever was, and I seem to only have panic disorder with agoraphobia for a couple months at a time at most and then it just fades away. I would be happy to be on benzos for that time and taper off, but the taper is HELL and my doctor won't listen to me about Valium being a renowned tool for tapering rather than the clonazepam I have been taking. I fuckin hate psychiatric medications.


I have been on the stuff for four years now, it's alright. Haven't really gained that much weight and my libido is getting better, although I expose myself to animated porn everyday.

Feeling better to a point life is bearable again.


I've been struggling from anxiety/depression related insomnia for fucking years now. What helps the most with least side effects is unisom. Aside from this I've also tried Amitriptyline but that stuff made me feel braindead for a good chunk next day.

So which psych med aside from benzos can help with sleep that doesn't make you also braindead?

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 No.278618[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

What is your biggest wish or dream that you long for with all your soul?

We both know it'll probably never come true
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The scary thing with worse case scenarios is that they can happen.

I tried to get into Stoicism and there they tell you to imagine the worst and try to accept it but it's impossible. Like you can't imagine a horrible illness and accept it. All it does is make me anxious for the future since certain bad things can happen at any time.


"That's not true Islam", says Stacy, as Ahmed forces himself inside of her. He is the third in sequence, and not the last one. Unfortunately he doesn't speak her language. "Not true Islam", she murmurs again, fifty years later, as her six-years-old great-granddaughter is given in forced marriage to be the third wife of a forty-five-years-old man.


abraham religions all they know is hot chip and lie


Oblivion. Nothingness. Honestly, everything pales before it. No matter what magicks i do, what adventures i have, what pocketdimensions i visit, it's never enough. The void is God, even the word God is beneath it. Could it be attained? Probably, i'm going through the elderscrolls to find out how.


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It's a ridiculous one but it gives me a purpose. I want to dabble in everything and reach relative but short success in many aspects of life despite having a horrible start. I want to give incredible hope to late starters, to NEETs to autists. The guy who started getting into all these hobbies and businesses at a late age and still succeeded. I want to make my own manga or comic, my own video game, my own music album, reach a short but successful career in a sport like boxing or MMA, go back to school and this time reach the top of the top making it to the most prestigious universities on earth. To completely turn it around and show people that life isn't just path and genes, that spirit can overcome anything if you're willing to sacrifice everything for it. Not the number 1 in those subjects, just success, just something. I know for a fact that some men who were like us also started early and managed to found huge success in something, but hide their past out of shame, out of how the public would react. I want that more than anything. More than eating. More than drinking. More than breathing. More than the certainty that I won't burn in hell eternally after death. I do not even want to personally known, me as an individual I don't matter, I want this archetype to exist, this hero, and I know that he'll never come. It's extremely unlikely, but when you really think about it, as hard as it is, it's not impossible. Some men managed to do it, in only one subject yes, but they did. Not just for others, but for myself as well. I want to prove god and nature wrong. To overcome my very biology or the laws of nature. To show it all that it can be done, that will reigns supreme. The counter-example. The anomaly. And then, to feel nothing, and finish with indifference knowing I'll eternally bring comfort to many lost men. Even if humanity were to end immediatly afterwards, I'd still see immense beauty in it. From nothing to everything back to nothing.

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 No.282200[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.

Previous: >>281041
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Mother wants to turn her soundbar on
>can’t find remote
>crash, bang, bang - everything being knocked off her side table as she looks for it
>”oh shit” she drops her keyboard and mouse
>has to walk over to manually turn it on
>knocks more stuff down, bang crash
>knocks crap over getting to soundbar
>turns it on, presses the wrong buttons
>wiz! how do I turn it to green
>tell her, she sits down again
>crash bang she dropped the keyboard again
Sitting here and the banging, shouting, noises all pierce in to my skull. Living with clumsy disabled relatives.


I just want tons of money so i can neet and not wageslave. I absolutely despise this world and its inhabitants.


File: 1695665722099.pdf (1.34 MB, watson1975.pdf)

Free Agency
Author(s): Gary Watson


Ever since I turned 30 my parents pestering has reached a whole new level. They just won't stop.


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Can't stop crying over all the time I've wasted. Haven't watched anime or movies, played games, learned a skill or read a book since 2015. My neetdom will soon come to an end, and it's over. But it never began??????

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