/dep/ - Depression★

>>294160
how do you escape the material world in your philosophy?
dying a virgin?

if normalfags call you a schizo nutcase you know you're on the right track

>>290289 (OP)
it's satan the accursed who whispers constantly and attacking us wanting to divert us from GOD read the quran learn about GOD pray to him he will shower you with mercy and blessings

>>298868
there's only one straight path read the quran

>>299363
>>299364

Read the Quran, you say? Well I have read the Quran in Arabic about five times from cover to cover. When I say read, I mean that I have studied it and contemplated the meanings of each verse, not that I have merely read the text. Throughout my studies I used the interpretations/commentary provided by well-known and respected early Muslim scholars like Ibn Katheer and Al-Qurtubi. I read all of this in Arabic, the language in which it was orignally written. What follows are my thoughts on the Quran.

About the text itself, the Quran is, generally speaking, a confusing mess of verses with little order to them. To be completely fair, a few Surah's (chapters) are pretty cohesive, extremely poetic and overall enjoyable to read, at least untranslated. A lot of the beauty of the style of some of the Surah's is lost in translation. Anyways, I think the reason that the Quran as a whole is extremely incohesive relates to the manner in which the text was compiled. The verses of the Quran was only compiled into a single book in the time of the first caliph Abu-Bakr, several years after the prophet's death. In the early years of Islam the Quran was primarily memorised by people and kept only in that manner; before the first compilation that I am about to elaborate upon shortly no full written copies of the Quran existed. When it was feared that parts of the Quran would be lost due to the large number of
people who memorised its verses dying in the wars that followed the prohpet's death, Abu-Bakr decided that a complete written copy should be produced after that was suggested by Omar Bin-Al-Khattab, a close companion of the prophet and the caliph that would come after Abu-Bakr. When compiling the Quran, two men were required to testify that each verse being added was uttered by the prophet. Some verses did not meet that criterion and were thus never added. It should be noted that one particular man's testimony was considered equivalent to that of two men because the prophet said that about him when he was alive. I have added this for thoroughness only and it is not particulary important. So that was the first copy of the Quran. Other copies were made but some companions of the prophet had their own private copies that did not match the rest. This pePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>299379
>She upped my meds
>she
Oh dear
>so hopefully that will help.
It won't! You'll only become dependent on more and more drugs until you can't wipe your own ass without your daily $35 worth of brain-rotting pills pumping through your blood.

>>299381
Psychology/Therapy is mostly female dominated in my state and I've been on meds for well over a decade, so I'm already to far gone.

>>299390
I was actually going to do therapy (even though i know it wont be helpful) but in my european country there are literally no male therapists available that are proficient enough in my native language. Completely dominated by succubi. Sickening and absurd. No way i am doing that

I have no money for pizza. I have to buy certain foods because i am so poor

>>299413
search for ediable common plants and weeds nearby you if you ever reach the bottom level of poverty.

Who convinced you that you have autism? Judging by your low-res TKMZU weirdcore dreamcore age-regression sad succubus cry image, I'm assuming it was one of you Discord "friends"?
>meaning I will never have the connections and social skills needed to get and hold a job
Go to the job agency, temp agency, or look at local cvlassified ads.
>I feel as if this world existed to make things worse for me.
All 16 year olds feel this way. Give it time.

>>299384
I.D.K mate, i know this stuff is totally over-blown, but i really can't communicate or interact with others, except for my own mother, and even then i often times speak way too fast, with other people including my own father i struggle with small talk even.

>All 16 year olds feel this way. Give it time.

I will be 24 y.o in around a week, i just feel too weird and alien amongst and in front of everyone, i never had a friend I.R.L, my relationship with my parents is fragile too, barely ever having any in depth conversations or talk about anything.

Just ignore the post by the retard who claims autism doesn't even exist.

You have autism but you can still live a good life if you get on neetbucks or disability.

After the financial side is settled you can full-on concentrate on hobbies and all sorts of interesting projects to pass time with.

>>299404
I am not clinically diagnosed, i just have zero connections to any other human being, I cannot imagine what it's like to have any sort of relationship with another person, to have someone who wants to talk to you or be around you. What it's like to enjoy being around another person.

>>299408 (OP)
isnt that basically just being lazy and procrastinating?

>>299408 (OP)
I relate OP, it feels like you could have done all the things you want to do at younger age and now you feel like it is a waste of time because your not young anymore, why even try I'll die soon? your brain is saying, and you agree with your brain, then you procrastinate. its a unhealthy habit brcause at the end of the day you do nothing and you wasted your day doing nothing.
the only thing is to start NOW and tomorrow and then the day after, etc…its like bycicle, if you stop treadle you fall.

>>299408 (OP)
>"it's too late for me to get back into this"
We (and by that I mean you) can dissect these thoughts for their origin and why they hold so much sway on you. It's a good mental exercise.

It usually goes like this for me.
>Want to play 'jong?
Y/N. If you want to, what stops you?
>Its too late
Late for what?
>Im XX old KHV I should be doing whateverwhatever
What this had to do with wanting to play 'jong?

This sounds a like straight up clinical depression.

If you've incidentally trained yourself not to enjoy things in general, then the sense of post enjoyment comedown might have further conditioned you to avoid things you specifically liked in the past.

I've experienced this once or twice with anime - specifically ones that I really enjoyed, the idea of experiencing them again and having them retroactively ruined or devalued means I don't watch them.

If what you enjoyed has little in the way of intrinsic value (i.e. enjoying it has extra benefits like exercising the mind or producing artefacts you take pride in) then if you're in full depression mode you'll need extra motivation to attempt it.

In some cases, getting back into the habit is just a case of perseverance, but it's not guaranteed.

>>296325
do not attribute partners to GOD by associating the messiah as he is a messenger of GOD the Almighty all praise to him!

>>299367
I doubt someone capable of creating entire universes gives a shit about obscure posts on obscure imageboards.

>>299403
he is witness to everything why not pray to him and ask him for anything?

>>299403
read the quran the only book uncorrupted

>>299406
Only a dumb western convert would use that language. Normal muslims call him with the arabic name Allah.
Also they don't say "all praise to him", they say peace be upon him and only refer to his messenger.

Man, I'm not even religious and I know the Qur'an and Bible better than those thumpers.

>>299189
I feel you, the worst part is never completely emptying the bowel. The shit is really sticky too, so it takes far too long to wipe, to the point where I'm scuffing blood, and my ass is still not clean. I try to only shit at home now, where I can wash my ass, and I take loperamide before leaving off to work.

Pinched my back and stomach nerves by drought. Not toothache like in previous years. Second time this year, way stronger, impossible to sit, stand, and lie. Third day, menthol cream and painkillers don't do shit. Barely got sleep today, at 9 am the power went off, so I went to sleep instead of watching TV. No reason why on the energy supplier site. Lying on the back is hard due to snoring waking me up plus normalfags would use it as ad hominem with their noise violence. (Even though they would sleep even when the drill is on). Temperature was 37.3 °C once.

My joints are making these awful crackling noises, i think i am dying

Inexplicably developed dysphagia and it has slowly gotten worse over a year. No insight or helpful medication despite all the tests, but there's still a couple more to do. Past couple weeks have been shit. I'm scared, and I get too stressed to get stuff done sometimes. Thankfully stuff like Huel exists, but I just want to have some pizza and beer again one day.

>>299398
I had this too and I couldn't eat anything solid for almost a year. I went to a doctor and I kept gagging when she put the instrument in and she acted so bitchy about it that I just gave up and didn't want to deal with any kind of uncomfortable invasive tests so I just ate slop for a year hoping it's cancer and that it fucking kills me. But eventually I just trained myself to eat normally, little by little, now I'm back to normal but I still sometimes catch myself mid swallow and spit it out. I don't know if it was purely psychosomatic or if it was some weird medical problem that went away on its own. It got me super depressed because food was one of my last copes and all I could eat was fucking yoghurts, soups, mashed potatoes, shakes, which got old pretty fast.

>>299388
same
if i didnt have to work, if my backwards country had neetbux, id happily rot for the rest of my life

i tried it for some 50 minutes and i got to the point where i could see colored blobs rythmically expanding and contracting, but i stopped due to impatience and boredom
will keep trying

>>299395
>colored blobs rythmically expanding and contracting
black and purplish / dark red ?

>>299399
yeah, was that close?

>>299400
idk but I never experienced what OP did, so I think it's just ordinary eye glitches or something

Recently, I turned 27 years old, I have many chronic diseases and other problems, I have no money or income, I live at the expense of my parents, I have no education and other things. I'm NEET! Recently I went to the doctor who said that I have every chance of becoming a 30 disabled person, rheumatoid arthritis, but I have no money for treatment to check this disease. An old sick mother who drags me. I am so tired of it that my life will always make me suffer. I want to do what I had to do for a long time. I’m not afraid or I'm not sad, I don’t care that I'm tired of all this, I'm going to do it on the handle of the house. Of course, I will delete all the information and burn my perspiration and other things .. We are wizards from birth in shit, and we must understand that many of us lost when we were born. I am going to draw up a small work plan that I want to do before leaving (although I have no money). I would very much like to do it to the music and just fall asleep on forever, but in my country I can’t get a medication. Although I will listen with pleasure how to do it more correctly on my door, I think to use a belt.

32 yr old wizzie looking to check out.

It gets worse for me every passing year now that I've crossed into my 30's.

>>296511 (OP)
what are the most efficient things to suspend the rope from when you're hanging yourself? I've been struggling to find anything and there aren't any forests near me. guns are illegal in my country and I don't know how to get drugs. I can't take it anymore I just want to die and never see my ugly self again

>>298449
>you might be counted among the crowd of world-weary croakers who suddenly regret their resignation in its finality.
They weren't suicidal in the first place. They were doing it as a cry for help.

>>298449
Why does it matter? It doesn't. Survival instincts mess with the brain in all kinds of ways, but it's just another evolutionary biological reaction

Getting treated like a bitch at burger king feels almost too tragic to post about. I really can't put it into words how much I hate my job and the retards I work with. I get abused and given the worst positions and I get paid like piss. They don't allow us to have our phones on us or use them either. (I do it anyway) I tried to look for other work but there's nothing and I fail a background check.

>>299352
> fail a background check.
How come?

>>299372
He referred to him not getting what he wants "being treated like a bitch" so he likely has a legal history of some sort of niggotry.

>>299372
I'm a scary retard so I got in alot of legal trouble and burnt alot of bridges.

>>299352
I was eating my burger at McDonalds recently and heard the jeet manager there giving a job interview to some teenage succubus and man it sounded insufferable. He sounded like he was high on some sort of upper, because he was just blabbering blabbering blabbering. I got a headache just listening to it from a few tables down, I couldn't imagine actually working there.

>>299371
I'm just coming off a 14 day no pmo streak myself. It didn't really do much of anything for me besides resensitizing myself to some more vanilla content again. Though I also immediately was in a total flatline, didn't even think about anything erotic. I haven't tried too many supplements, I remember trying Omega3s at some point to no effect. I'm sick and tired of grifters promising you solutions. At this point I'm almost resigned that it will be like this for however long I decide to stick around on this rock.

>>299373
I'm still in that flatline, the way i used degenerate porn it could take months before my libido returns. Yeah supplements are a scam. The problem with supplements is you deplete yourself if you take for example vitamine d, it depletes your magnesium. Oh you take zinc? You better supplement with copper! I did all this shit for nothing and spend like 1000$ over the course of 2 years. Omega3 can get rancid and do more bad than good. Hell a latest study says that it contributes to heart problems. Better eat real food or some magic diet (carnivore,glutenfree, i dunno). Could be low t, but i don't wanna test it. Being on trt feels like such a chore.

>>299374
Yeah same here, definitely need more time off porn to even halfway recover some normal libido. Then again though, what's the point. Some years ago I did actually have my T checked for similar reasons - lethargy, no libido etc but they were only on the lower end of the normal spectrum. Again, like you I don't care for taking some T supplement for the rest of my life, same reason why I am just gonna let the reaper take my hair instead of doing this elaborate song and dance with fin and min and whatever.

>>299368 (OP)
Did you ever go to the doctor to try & see if you have a condition?? I have sleep apnea + had vitamin D + B12 deficiency & I didn't even know about any of that shit for yrs (all wasted because too tired to do anything). This is important to know whether you have those or anything else or not

>>299377
My last full blood panel was a little less than a year ago and everything was fine. I don't think my exhaustion has gotten much worse since then either. Never been tested for sleep apnea but I've heard it can be a common explanation. I think I would have to try an get some specialist to check that and getting appointments with those when you're not actively dying is pretty difficult where I live.