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I can't, I just can't stop with this porn addiction, I don't even enjoy it anymore, I just do it because I have the hope of feeling something but in the end is always the same, I've tried everything to stop, my longest streak was 32 days but, the boredom I experienced was horrible, everyday I cut my internet access but since I have no job or go to school I was all the day bored, I could not enjoy my anime because of the flatline I think I may have neet anhedonia, I haven't go to school since 1 year ago when I dropped out of high school, I cannot get a job because I am a high school drop out, I cannot go back to to school because of corona virus, my brain is fried, I cannot stand this anymore.
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no way do you know it's not a joke…


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nice 3d


Just listen the audio.


After I started taking kratom in fairly high doses I pretty much lost the urge to fap. Of course I'm probably addicted to it

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 No.232813[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

The last suicide general has hit the bump limit.
Previous thread here >>229281
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She posted this picture one year ago on her Instagram.
>Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Trust yourself, trust your allies, and trust your intuitions. #bebrave #behonest #bebold


poor baby. could've gone with an easier method to not spook the kid. or just don't have one in the first place


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Why not just use a chainsaw or a circular saw to saw open your throat?


My OCD does this for me it is exhausting the self loathing script rus all day I cannot handle not listening to music or posting to distract myself but still I am a coward as all are here.

Cab we have a discussion if it was truly morally wwrong for her to jump with her baby or not from a philosophical perspective?
The child was spared the pain of existing any longer than it needed but its personal freedom was infringed but does a infant have freedom and would respecting its freedom andn ot forcing it to do anything also mean not forcing the child to exist by feeding it?


>Why not just use a chainsaw or a circular saw to saw open your throat?

Can you go back to edgychan and shitpost there instead of shitting up the thread with your retarded methods.


>My OCD does this for me it is exhausting the self loathing script rus all day
I hate this! The other big OCD thing I have right now is compulsively checking my e-mails and wizchan posts. I have to keep re-reading them to ensure nothing's "wrong" with them.

[Last 50 Posts]

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 No.231132[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

getting annoyed by stupid coworkers edition

previous >>228423
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When I started this job,there was a hardcore communist. Whatever, he's entitled to his opinion, and I don't care enough about politics to talk about it with anyone.

He's still there. However, he started investing a week or two ago and now he's turning into a hardcore neoliberal, which was who he was complaining about the most. It's weird seeing him transform overnight.


>getting annoyed by stupid coworkers edition

Yes, this has been my situation as of late. I've taken to calling them illiterate, retards, insult the fact that it seems like they have no ability to think or rationalize, and criticize their inability to do monkey tier warehouse work. I am absolutely fed up with them, they are idiots beyond my comprehension and proudly admitting that they failed basic education. It's like babysitting, this must be how public school teachers feel. Explaining and reiterating an extremely basic concept for weeks(circling and writing numbers on a page, the directions of north and south, how to sign your name on a piece of paper) to no avail. I understand the fact that adjusting to intense physical labor is a difficult process, but any adult that can fill out an application and pass an interview should be able to accomplish the aforementioned tasks.

All of this makes me feel like doing my job to the standard I am held just makes me the ultimate idiot. In the end, I'm the one losing by doing what I'm supposed to. I feel like I'm being played by these people, by this company. In the end I am and I should have known better when volunteering to work overnight "for a couple of weeks". I'm stuck here until they can find enough people competent to replace me. Should I attempt to file for unemployment to compensate for my reduced hours? I'm trying to get off benzos and kick my nicotine habit and this is absolutely not helping the situation.


>The problem is that this project is on its final stages before release so I don't know how to gracefully quit
There really isn't a way to gracefully quit when you are in the middle of a project. Personally I would take two weeks off, blame it on covid and don't answer my phone. Then when I start working say I am still feeling sick. Don't work more than 8 hours after you return no matter what.

I used to get so stressed at my last job. I was the only one developing the front end of our application basically coding and designing it and working some parts of the back end with no help (it was my first year of working a real job and i was beyond clueless). They had a timeline to finish the project in like 8 weeks. I worked there for 6 months before this project began. Worked on the project for a month then quit without giving two weeks. I will remember that day until I day. I was so happy going into the office. Nervous when I talked to my owner and they tried to get me to stay but I stuck to my decision.

Literally 10 months later I get an email from my now previous owner telling me that the project I was working on is finally complete and he thanked me for the work I did on it.
I nearly killed myself for this job. The deadline was complete bullshit. The amount of pressure that I felt to learn more and be a productive slave was all bullshit.

I understand the fear of confrontation and there isn't an easy way to do it. You can either turn in your laptop to security after sending an email to your boss letting them know that today will be your last day (if you do this dont forget to change your tax and address info if needed). Then don't answer your phone for anybody except family. If it's important they will leave a message. You won't be able to use this job as a reference but thats fine.

Otherwise you can send an email to your owner to schedule a meeting. Then let them know that you are quitting.

There will always be more work to do. After you "finish" this dumpster fire of a project, you will have to do bug fixes and maintenance and then in the middle of that a new project will be assigned to you. Quitting is an inherently disruptive activity. Even if you give a multiple month notice.

Managements lack to plan is not your responsibility. Managements lack of hiring an aPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


I will try to gather the strength to write a letter this night and quit tomorrow. I will say to my boss that if he wants I can write code documentation during the next week. This is unbearable at this point, I'm not eating well, I'm throwing up, I have shortness of breath even during normal working hours. Random calls drive me insane, I need a previous notice before meetings, random calls make me lose my shit. My health is a mess, I have to quit. Well, the only problem is that have to go to the company office to return the laptop, that will be awkward.


Good luck.If you feel like they are going to overwork you during the next week I won't even bring that up.
Also you can drop the computer off at the security desk and be done with it. Just send your email to your boss a few minutes before and don't entertain a reply.
Stay strong wiz. They'll try to manipulate you and offer you some deal to stay (less hours, more pay, or even guilt trip you) but try to remember how you are being treated now. If they know you are leaving they may be nice for a few days or a week but they'll show their true colors once again.
Make it clear that this is your health at stake. Then turn off your phone and try your best to fix the damage that work has imparted on you.

[Last 50 Posts]

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I've seen this image posted around here many times and I think it warrants its own thread for discussion. It really gives a good visual summary of Schopenhauer's philosophically grounded idea of reincarnation:

>Only by a false illusion does the cool shade of Orcus allure him as a

haven of rest. The earth rolls on from day into night; the individual
dies; but the sun itself burns without intermission, an eternal noon.
Life is certain to the will-to-live; the form of life is the endless present; it matters not how individuals, the phenomena of the Idea, arise
and pass away in time, like fleeting dreams.

>When we die, we throw off our individuality like a worn-out garment

In short, according to this position, life is the permanent condition of this world. When you die, you may lose your self (your elevated perspective) but not selfhood in general. As long as there is a perceiving subject, it is (you) that is perceiving as transmuted consciousness. What is compelling about this idea is that it doesn't depend on the existence of an immortal soul or spirit in order to be true.

So my question is, do you find this position plausible? If yes, does it scare you?

Honestly I find it both plausible and nightmarish in its consequences, because it entails that there is no rest, no peace and no release from the torments of this world, not even for a minute. The moment you are gone, there is not even a pause before you are violently brought back to be tortured, gutted, and consumed once more in the cosmic slaughterhouse.
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>you die you lose consciousness forever and that's about it
I hope you're right


I can't prove a negative. You need to prove to me that consciousness continues after death.


Threads like these would be much shorter if more people knew what an unfalsifiable claim is.


Why should there being no afterlife be the "default" position? Even if an afterlife can't be proven, why do you believe in eternal oblivion in the first place?


why cant it be finite before and infinite after?

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The games I play to pretend I’m succcessful. I’ll never be a real normie. Nobody knows that I play these games to feel better and that I have this folder but it really fills my life to know that every day I can wake up and attend my virtual job while the wage attends his real job I wish I had a real job but I can’t have a real job because I’m unable to have a real job
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Thanks wizzie I will check it out if really curious :) I also tend to fill books up with thoughts and such things myself when not so depressed I cannot think properly.
I have met some interesting people in my time also but it does feel to me as if they are vanishing or isolating harder the true wizards and witches seem to be in a decline on any social platform or maybe so many normalfags have joined chans they just simply are near invisible.

I have to admit autists can be some of the worst people to interact with if they are severely autistic and lack any social skills to the point they can only talk about their niche interest I have met one that only talked about some armour from a specific period of time and nothing else lolz


I can't even imagine myself having a job. Been unemployed since 2013. I've applied to Walmart, McDonald's, grocery stores, other shithole places, can't find anything. Being autistic with a bad back doesn't help either. Hopefully I'll get rich from crypto someday.



imagine a game where you start constantly loosing health in a town where if you walk outside you get killed by huge-high level enemies. You don't have any combat options unless you have a sword, can't level up unless you actually win in combat, and you can't regenerate your health bar unless you have food. Everything in the town is overpriced. You can ask for a job and no one will offer you one (Shenmue II does this well). You can find random junk in the trash, but no one will buy it from you because it is junk. And there are no good dialogue options because your charisma is shit. That's a real life rpg.


ok anon but otherwise i can relate

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>Shunned by "friends" /any group I've ever tried to be apart of
When did you realize you were destined to be alone forever?



I kinda stopped altogether at some point, and (I think) unintentionally just avoid everything.
I'm sure some shrink will describe this as fear of rejection or some shit, but I don't care. Not a bad thing for me
The only "friend" I have is my brother


You are only free by yourself. You did everything right. People are cancer.


Hell yeah Armored Saint


When i was about 13 years old, i did something which i don't exactly remember, but the consquence of it was "You are banned from our friend group" said straigt to my face. It was over something silly. Back then compared to now, i feelt enormous anxity about being alone in school then, so this was horrible. Fuck them!


I decided to start this thread to post about our experiences with insomnia and maybe to log during our insomniac episodes. I had thought about making a thread like this several times while scrolling wizchan at dawn. But I figured since it happened again now is right.

I think I might be ultra-sensitive to caffeine, as it seems the rare times I drink coffee or even soda, even half a day earlier it seems to be correlated with these nights.

Sometimes I try to just lay in bed as it seems the worst thing I can do is get up and go to the PC. But other times I just roll for hours and it doesnt help. I also find myself binge eating trying to put myself to sleep. Other times I wake up in a manic bipolar high with big projects.

Cioran was plagued by insomnia his entire life and it seems like the perfect torture to shape his hatred of life.

Im just remembering an old comedy central show Insomniacs

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If I lived alone, and it werent for all the leafblowers, I might just go into opposite jet lag mode, sleep during the day, wake at night.


went to bed 2am last night. mom forced me to wake up early. was planning to sleep early today, but didnt get to bed tilll 12am. thought it be an easy sleep at least. but twisting n turning for ours. insomina really acting up. not sure what the cause is.

the worst thing to do is get up and browse the web, then hours melt away and i get 0 sleep last night. might as well try again, try to relax


My nightly binge-eating had been making it hard to sleep. I don't give a shit about health, expect to suicide young. But its gotten to the point where its physically painful laying in bed at night.

My mom hasn't bought any vegetables in a while, so I've been binging on more unhealthy shit. My brain just needs to chew, as I do my last browisng before bed. So green veggies are almost as good as snacks. As I just mindlessly crunch. Although don't get me wrong brocoli is terrible and bitter, so its not like I dont notice its yuckness at all. But its usually bearable at least.


I did experience something like that when you sort of nod off, but in the end I hadn't gotten sufficient amount of sleep


just take potassium and magnesium brahs

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Bitcoin. How many other Wizards, other than myself, missed out on their chance to eternal NEETdom? Personally, I've been aware of Bitcoin since 2009. I even mined it for a time before giving up. To rub salt in the wound further, I was even friends with many people who invested in it, yet never followed their example myself. While this is mostly due to the fact I was rather young at the time, even a small change of heart would have made me a millionaire right now.

For a long time, you were either born into riches or worked hard to get there. Now you'd be rich if you put spare change into internet funny money years ago. It's not fair, bros. And the regret will haunt me for the rest of my life.

If you have some crypto regret stories, share them in this thread so that this poor wizard might not feel alone in their mistake anymore. Wagecucking is so much more painful when you know you could have avoided it entirely.
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bitcoin this and bitcoin that, ok sure, we all missed our shot. But there's still alot of money to made in stock. Here's a good tip - buy QUALCOMM - they produce 5G chip and their snapdragon processor etc. Q4 i managed to earn 1500 USD. On their earning reports they said that Q1 2021 will be even better. Just today - the stock went up 5%. Ima hang onto this shit as it will go up the comming months.


who gives a fuck what you did in the past? not like you can change it. and the outcome doesnt necessarily determine whether the decision you made was good or bad. there is plenty of get rich quick schemes that are scams or never work.


>1500 USD
oh wow such big money i bet you could neet it up till retirement huh
this shit is a scam unless you got millions to invest. only the richfags born into wealthy families have it easy


I don't see much stories about people bragging about their newfound richness


The cryptocurrency scene is full of scammers and retards who are too high on their own farts to know left from right

There are a lot of fundamental issues with cryptocurrencies that prevent them from being actually useful for things other than money laundering, scamming people and illegal online trade. Especially BTC maximalists are a special breed of stupid and ignorant and don't have a grasp of even the most basic economic concepts

The crypto ecosystem of today exists due to lack of regulation and greed, not innovation, not technology, not anything new, not any good intentions, but the sheer possibility of scamming people in ways that were previously not possible, and the enormous greed of people who have no financial or technological knowledge

Given all this staying away from cryptocurrencies has always been the most rational choice, albeit not the most profitable one, and even if you went in a lot of things could've gone wrong, e.g. losing keys, getting scammed (not that hard, esp. considering how even the most trusted operators in the scene are actually incredibly shady by real world non-retarded finance standards), or being retarded with your money

Plus you are missing even bigger opportunities every day, you just don't realize them because you aren't looking. You could've invested in AAPL in 2009 and made a fortune today, with the added bonus of the safety of your capital not resting on what some weirdo whale operating from a non-extradition tax haven does, but I don't see people being sad about that as much as I see people complaining about missing the crypto train

In short dont beat yourself up over it

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Does anyone else feel too apathetic to kill themselves?

I am conditioned to accept everything that happens to me including truly awful things which wold leave others in great distress.
I am not strong mentally but have become quite broken.
I do hate living I have the means and a plan to kill myself yet worry I will be too apathetic to go through with suicide.
I am hoping to drink alcohol to maybe get a emotional response that will push me over the edge.
I am constantly disassociated and this helps me as my reality is a nightmare.

I have survival instinct kick in when I am hanging myself but my plan involved SN and I do the hanging to try get myself ready to die.
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No, but I worry about losing my means of killing myself by waiting too long.


oh wowie the attention to detail in this shitpost.
You actually put the OP image within it !!
>No, but I worry about losing my means of killing myself by waiting too long.
explain what you mean by means??
What method have you chosen?

Ever tried to hang yourself? it is harder than it seems.


Me on the right


I've lost SN before by ending up in the ER with in my backpack whille drunk.


I don't care about either as I'm too apathetic to even try making an attempt


How does being completely alone affect ur mental health?

I think craving for social contact is a natural thing and even doctors found that people who are extremely lonely will most likely develop mental and physical health issues and on average their lifespan is shorter.

A lot of times through the day I find myself making up social interactions in my mind, I'm a massive social retard and the interactions in my imagination seem to be the ones I actually crave for.

Some time ago I started thinking loudly and talking to myself, it's something that is very hard to control and it just happens, sometimes I talk by myself for hours and I'm sure the reason for this is the lack of actual communication in my life since there is no one to actually say something to.

In my dreams I often experience abstract social interactions with other people that often feel so good that I'm sad and confused after waking up from them and that stuff fucks me up the whole day. I also noticed that I often dream about people from school and my childhood, most likely because that might have been the only time I was engaging with other people on a daily basis since I was also forced to and even back then I was always by myself and I really disliked school.

I think that my mental health will eventually degrade itself to the point where I lose my mind completely if things keep going that way and I don't think that this will ever change since this whole thing is a vicious cycle, I have mental problems that prevent me from communicating with other people and at the same time my mental health goes to down the drain even faster because of the loneliness.
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I’ve found that since 4 years ago, when I just ghosted my friends and stopped going out, I realized people are a nuisance and just a series of reciprocal obligations. I now actively avoid getting close to people and I guard my tranquility intensely. People are “unknown” quantities, unlike something like a glass of scotch, a cigarette, or a walk in the woods, reading a good book, playing a video game (inb4 blah blah). You know that by engaging in these things you will enjoy their quantity and there is no volatility or blowback. They can’t deceive you, or have emotional outbursts, ect. The cold burning of loneliness far exceeds tolerability compared to something like a loveless marriage or a broken family. I’d rather be alone and through the feeling is “odd” it feels more and more right as time goes on. I did struggle with it the first year or two, but now I don’t care. People are low on my list.


>The cold burning of loneliness
I think you meant the "the endless summer of loneliness", otherwise 10/10.


OP for me it is the opposite I cannot stand people I like to isolate and do not get lonely I can just post online to interact with others but I am meant to be schizoid+ another personality disorder.

I never felt lonely but I think it is possible even schizoids get illeeffects from being alone all the time.


Is it actually true that you are schizoid when you like to be alone? I have always since I can remember preferred to be alone though I sometimes want someone else around because it can get too much. But by heart I'm a loner. I always thought this is maybe a rare yet essentially normal human condition. It's part of human experience so why would it be wrong? Am I schizoid? And if so then what does that change? I don't like calling myself that way for some reason. I feel normal I just don't like having people around me all the time. Am I really mentally ill for that preference? That's kind of lame.


>Is it actually true that you are schizoid when you like to be alone?
Just being introverted and preferring own company is not enough for a "diagnosis" because schizoids will have other traits. I am sceptical I am even schizoid despite being told I am and clearly having traits. I hate being around people and have never felt lonely once and now I am able to stand being near a family member but still would prefer to be on my own the reason I dislike being near others is it is so tiring and draining I get a compulsion to escape I also spend a lot of time thinking about stuff and introspecting which is meant to be a trait.

Wizzie I would not worry about labels if I were you and there is no effective therapy for schizoid PD anyway. even if you were schizoid is it really mentally ill? we are just different.

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