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/dep/ - Depression

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“The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn. Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn.”
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i consider that education. I doubt people here are diligent enough for that. Thed rather masturbate and make the same shitpost trying to be unfunny. I know those people will call you anti neet for suggesting them to learn something.


Lmao lay off the crack


the two are not mutually exclusive
grab a dictionary is my advice for you


Someone who has sex isnt really celibate now are they? Or are we going by the feminist definition which includes any man who disagrees with them?


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Were any of you ever spanked as children? Do you think it influenced you becoming depressed?
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It is natural to have a damaging experience rather than growth when forced to do things against your will. Exposure therapy needs to occur at a pace that the person willingly chooses


Whoa, I'm really sorry you had to endure that


I was more than spanked. Like some other anon said there was a lot being beaten with objects, scratching, and punching fits. One time in the most demented incident trying to bite me, at that point it was more like being attacked by an alien screeching in tongues. Often for no reason in particular or something trivial blown out of proportion. The times when I did do something wrong like accidentally broke something is when the real horror shows began. When something triggers the anger like I see it even lightly in public and it reminds me it's like a virus, human language can't describe anger like this. Feeling kinda paralyzed and I tend to need to separate myself take a breather. When it passes I can't even believe it's a part of me because I can't reach a mental state like that normally. I try to let it open my eyes to how diverse the human experience can be in a more positive light.


My parents forced me to eat my fibers and I still turned out fine.


>Were any of you ever spanked as children?
spanked or hurt with other stuff like twigs on ass
whenever I did something wrong I got beaten for it

>Do you think it influenced you becoming depressed?

I think it did lead to me adopting a liar attitude. For example whenever I do something wrong in life, I just deny it or blame someone else since so I would escape the beatings.

And the other thing, I just adopted the "do the bare minimum to avoid trouble" attitude.

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What's the thing you watch / play / listen to when you have the flu? The thing that feels the most comfortable? When you just want to forget about reality?
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Where do you read short stories from?


If you have access to clean water and you're not over 80 or have AIDS it's pretty uncommon. Old people either die from cancer or the flu most of the time.


Tales from a country/region and reddit also you can search for books with the "short stories" tag.


Stop being silly, flus ARR escapism to reality. Feels really good and hazy.


The Cure - disintegration

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 No.195881[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Who else drinking tonight by himself?

Drinking this fucker straight. 47% ABV. Toss in benzos and a weak opiate.
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OP here again. Anhedonia exists but it's impossible for a rational human being to not find transient happiness on anything at all; and all wizard are rational beings.

I enjoy art, music, literature, lifting, composing music, playing instruments, philosophy, vidya, even talking to another wizard. I might be unhappy most of the time, but I still make an effort to pursuit these small things I enjoy.

I am mentally ill, but I've learned not to cling to my diagnoses, but to the small things I enjoy which make it worth living another minute.


Getting real sick of this. Eight 440ml cans at 5.3% each in one sitting isn't enough to even get me dizzy anymore. This time last year I was throwing one-man parties off of half the amount and getting a good 14 hour sleep in with the dakimakura, but now I can't drink enough of this or even hard liquor to get near that level. It's costing upwards of $40 to get drunkish for an hour. Maybe it's time to switch to cough medicine, that'd be cool.


I have the same issue. I used to be able to get fucked up from drinking about 70% of the amount I now need to reach the same state. My biggest concern is how much weight I'm putting on. I'm properly fat for the first time in my life, and no wonder, every night I drink it's another 1000kcal+ solely from alcohol.

The worst part is the hangover doesn't seem to have scaled with it. If I drink as much as I used to, I barely get drunk but I get the same hangover as I used to. If I drink as much as I need to get properly drunk now, the hangover is TERRIBLE. Wish there was some alternative to alcohol that was as easy to get.


Thanks for the tip, whizzie. I bought WT Straight Rye and was not disappointed. I drank the whole thing neat over two weeks. I might go ahead and try bourbon next. Costs about as much as two six packs I would drink in that time span, so I guess I can say it'd save me a trip to the store by buying a bottle of whiskey instead.


Is someone with mental illness(es) really a rational being? You make an effort to pursue those things since you enjoy them. Adehonia stops you from seeking/feeling this pleasure or greatly numbs its effects. There's no reason to make an effort…

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 No.201553[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

The last suicide thread has hit the bump limit.
Previous thread:
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Resources are limited


I wish I was never sired/conceived. I wish my kakistocrat kleptocrat idiocrat public-transport-accident-prone underage-baby-factory country never existed. Consider yourselves luckier you never received concussions, & never need to buy/use insulin, & never need to buy/drink psychiatric medicines.
t. concussed obese insomniac type-1-diabetic mentally-ill person


So the first part of my plan went as planned. I got the SSRI, now to wait for them to come into effect, this to make suicide a lot easier.


Does anyone here have any experience buying a gun? I want to just get one tomorrow and end it. I've done a bit of research, I know shotguns are better, but I'd rather a handgun. I can get a 9mm Glock for ~$500. The issue is the normies who run the store, I tried to do this a number of years ago and was simply turned away because I didn't know much about guns. I figure I may just try multiple stores until I succeed. Things are just too terrible for me right now, I need to get out now. I'll end up driving my car into a ravine if I fail to get a gun.


You might be able to get one locally from somebody else online. Lots of states don't have any restrictions on private sales like that.

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 No.203409[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

What was the last good year of your life? 2012 is the last year I can say with 100% certainty that I was happy, everything ater it was only downhill.
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You might be right. Also I was too anxious to go to the doctor for years and I remember that a big part of relieve came from the fact that I now was able to ask for help. That in itself was a huge step for me. I know that for normal people it's the most mundane thing in the world to ask for help but for me it was literally a life changing experience.


I'm someone who also does depression sets in when I come back, nothing is vivid. I can barely eat because food is disgusting to me save for a small group of things I can't and wouldn't want to have all the time for my own money and health. I try to remain outside of it all, it teaches you things endlessly you can apply. My lowest point are actually where I'm typing this from. I feel heavy, my view is narrow, any positive lasting sensations feel worlds away, and there is also an absence of the terrible too outside of what feels like this ugly background nausea that comes and goes manifesting itself with times like this. I have that book downloaded but I have yet to read it. The most recent I dragged myself through was DMT: The Spirit Molecule which was a lot more psychologically difficult to get through than I thought it would be as it was so clinical and felt more like a study on death itself but I got a lot out of it for doing so.




2015. I can remember the exact moment, actually. It's not traumatic or even the least bit… anything. It's pointless and stupid, which make everything much worse.


2005. Everything turned to shit in 2006 and especially 2007. 2009 was when i realized it was over.
Just fucking end it.

[Last 50 Posts]


Do you feel the same? I want to kill myself everyday, but because I don't have the means to do so in a relatively painless peaceful way, i'm stuck in this nightmare for the long run I guess.

I've been an isolated neet since I dropped out of school in the 6th grade. im now 31 and have nothing left in me to continue.

I just wanted to say I hate humanity with a passion to other people who might have had the same life as me. I hope the normie Muggles get taken out by an asteroid soon.

good day, and let the tendies flow.
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Welcome brother wizard.


I've been thinking about this too. No matter how you look at it, chaos and entropy is the direction that every existence goes. Everyone is going to die one day. Humanity will most likely go extinct before the end of the 21st century because of climate change and pollution. It gives me great joy to know these 2 facts. I can't wait for our piece of shit worthless species to go extinct. FUCK humanity to hell and back.Bunch of disappointing superficial cunts.

There is no need to kys though, I think. You're going to die anyways, so why not just do whatever meanwhile and enjoy the ride towards non-existence while you're here, it doesn't matter anyways.


If you're telling the truth, wizpect(wizard respect). There's also a 3rd grader drop out here I think. I really admire you guys.


I think most of wizards have this feeling. Humanity is already doomed, so don't need to worry about death, it's already on its way. Until then, just endure yourself or kill time with some hobbies you may enjoy.


For some reasons no one apparently knows another thread that belongs to the suicide general thread but is posted outside of it

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I was riding in the train the other day and there was a very nice view of the city. I thought about how fortunate I am to experience this but then I wondered how exactly can I appreciate it. I tried to sense this feeling of contentment but I couldn't quite locate it. It makes me wonder if pleasure is something we chase for itself or if it's just an instinct. Or maybe I have Anhedonia? For me pleasure feels more like not-suffering. Like the pleasure of eating is not being hungry or craving anymore or the pleasure of entertainment is not being bored. I feel like because of this I can't motivate myself to do anything with delayed gratification since there isn't really a feeling of pleasure to look forward to and the avoidance of suffering is more short term.


jerk off all the time. Then, when you stop, you'll appreciate not jerking off constantly.

A neuronal mesh net will normalize an input and treat it as baseline. Try something new.

Let's do it right now: Press your fingers and thumbs together until they make a small diamond like opening. Now place it before your eye and jitter the opening around while looking at the bright source of light, such as this screen.or a lamp. You should see the blood vessels on top of your retina being revealed.

Those blood vessels are always there. They come up through a hole in your retina which you can also see as a hole in your vision if you desire to look up those exercises. You don't see the blood vessels because they have been normalized by your optic system's neurons. To appreciate them, you had to change the angle of light entering the eye and cast their shadows on new places in the eye.

To appreciate the cityscape some folk would try a "mindfullness" exercise, just meditate on it and sense yourself and surroundings… blah. To appreciate the view you need to compare it to what it isn't. Contentment isn't something you can sense because you were bathing in it already.

Now, go out into the wilderness and survive with only your wits for about a month. Later, that same train ride will be so comforting and full of content, you'll appreciate the shit out of public transportation.


The aesthetic viewpoint ist an enjoyment of something without wanting to gain something from it. You switched to the skeptical viewpoint and asked about the nature of the sensation. You may have become wiser but lost the enjoyment. This is just kantian German philosophy, as far as I can understand it. Also don't be afraid that you're not enjoying the moment enough, it won't let you enjoy anything.


No porn helped me with that. It's not about the porn itself which I don't care about if anyone does it but about overcoming a bad habit in general. Getting rid of an addiction gives you a sense of self control and self worth and makes you appreciate simple things in life more. Instdead of porn you can any choose any bad habit you have and try to overcome it.


This reminds me of something I read out of Moby Dick. Here's the quote:

"Yes, we became very wakeful; so much so that our recumbent position began to grow wearisome, and by little and little we found ourselves sitting up; the clothes well tucked around us, leaning against the head-board with our four knees drawn up close together, and our two noses bending over them, as if our kneepans were warming-pans. We felt very nice and snug, the more so since it was so chilly out of doors; indeed out of bed-clothes too, seeing that there was no fire in the room. The more so, I say, because truly to enjoy bodily warmth, some small part of you must be cold, for there is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself. If you flatter yourself that you are all over comfortable, and have been so a long time, then you cannot be said to be comfortable any more. But if, like Queequeg and me in the bed, the tip of your nose or the crown of your head be slightly chilled, why then, indeed, in the general consciousness you feel most delightfully and unmistakably warm. For this reason a sleeping apartment should never be furnished with a fire, which is one of the luxurious discomforts of the rich. For the height of this sort of deliciousness is to have nothing but the blanket between you and your snugness and the cold of the outer air. Then there you lie like the one warm spark in the heart of an arctic crystal."

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So how do I learn to live with my body for the rest of my days on this Earth, I wake up every morning feeling utterly empty and lack the motivation to move on. I feel like a direct result of constant bullying, I am also the ugliest guy I know, I could pass as an elderly person if j actually tried to LARP.
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Not anymore, got over succubi at a younger age, truly saddening yet it's the reality I find myself in.


Maybe you should try and get one, the wizard life isn't for everybody.


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Sorry to hear that. Wizard life it is then.


Kek, that's how it truly feels. Sometimes I wonder if this is all really real. I can't believe, no, I'm SHOCKED that I was this unlucky in the genetic lottery, a true shame eh, I'm the American mutt…


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Good luck.


Hey /dep/. Has anyone here also have experience with psychotic disorders? I was diagnosed with psychotic depression when I was 13, and had to be set on antipsychotics. I kept hearing voices taunting me, numbers kept "repeating", and I heard numerous things. At night it'd get really bad, so my only escape was to play video games. Keep in mind this was before I got the diagnosis. I have had these voices my entire life.

I nearly murdered my mother because of what the voices told me (plus the fact I was manic at the time and felt like I can do anything), I grabbed a knife, and when I saw people walking by, I returned it. Dad had to take me to a mental institution.

I am constantly confused, my mind feels like it's in tangles, and I can't get myself together at all.


I am schizoid and have had psychotic breaks before but I am also addicted to drugs and alcohol so my episodes have been drug induced.

How can you really be psychotic if you are aware of being psychotic? I remember my breaks. Had visions, paranoia, delusions, and most importantly my brain of thought was gone and I was confused and scared. But I could tell something was going on. I could tell my hallucinations were not real after the episodes had ended.

I still get paranoid about other's intention and when I am too stressed I get confused and my train of thought goes away, but I am fully aware of it in the moment.

What are your thoughts fellow wizards? Been to the psych ward, I refuse to take any anti-psychs but I voluntarily take Mirtazapine and Rivotril because they help me eat and sleep.


i a manic depressive. they give me anti psychotics in the hospital to get me off my manic high so I usually take them voluntarily. but upon discharge i never stay on them longer for a year. many times I kick them within six months. they are nasty nasty horrible meds that make me feel horrible constantly. I've told my psychiatrist in so many words I'd rather be dead than take them and he retorted in so many words that he doesn't blame me for feeling that way.


I wish I was never sired/conceived. I wish my laughing-stock butt-of-jokes disgusting inferior country never existed. Consider yourselves luckier you never received concussions, & never need to buy/use insulin, & never need to buy/drink psychiatric medicines.
t. concussed obese insomniac type-1-diabetic mentally-ill person

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