/dep/ - Depression

I was using synthetic drugs and hoping to get through these bad days with them, but I still hated my bad past and wanted to forget it with drugs. I also hated all my bad friends, both past and present. Living alone and using drugs, I knew our bodies were fragile, and so was mine, so I cut back a bit synthetic drugs dose, you know, to avoid being hospitalized again. I hated everything and just wanted to forget all the bad things. I don't like bullshit like most people, so I hated it and set boundaries for interactions, both socially and personally.

Would they? I've been thinking.

My mom is already LDAR'ing due to the debt and she's already lost one child, so I think either by suicide or stress she would die. My dad? He didn't seem to care that much when my stepbro died, but I am his firstborn. I don't know really. My little brother would probably just turn into me. That's my only concern. Everyone else, would cry for a day maybe.

It's Saturday night and I started taking a new antidepressant called Mirtazapine (15mg) on Thursday night.

This is my 10th or so attempt at a psychiatric medication. I've tried lots of therapy too.

Wish me luck anonymages. I was about to quit my job but watched some motivational videos on autoplay on Youtube for hours and as cheesy as it was, they convinced me to give this a go.

I didn't even get these prescribed recently. It was way back last year and then I just didn't take them because this particular medicine has a reputation for making people really fatigued.

It does put me to sleep. But, maybe that's ok. If it means I can find some happening apart from fapping and dreaming while I sleep.

Maybe it'll even help me turnaround my fortunes at work where it looks like I'm sliding towards a firing or just being unable to come in. Barely stopped myself raging at my boss the other day and took 2 weeks sick leave from stress afterwards. I need to swallow some humble pie come Monday and hopefully these pills help. Being off work for 2 weeks showed me I'm just as miserable and actually more so depressed, anxious and stressed not working despite all the antiwork slogans I collect.

Reminder to take your vitamins, especially "fish oil" one " Vitamin D3



they say Vitamin D3, because "Vitamin D" sounds like an euphemism, kekeke

Another Evil under the Sun Edition. You of many.

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How do you deal with extreme public humiliation and a destroyed reputation? Shits suicide fuel

If you are hopelessly depressed and lonesome, you simply need a mu-opioid agonist to rectify this state of affairs and make you feel connected and whole.

Opioids are literally the chemical of social attachment, and this becomes evident shortly after you take one.

Obviously do not abuse them and take them at the lowest effective dose, and you can be like me and treat your depression for years without trouble.

Has anybody else here had experience with them?

Starting a new anti-suicide general as the original has been bump-locked.

Helping wizards to understand that persuasive feelings of suicide can be bested.

Further the discursive spirit of this thread will remain the same as the first: to counter the general luring tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads through sharing positive practical advice purposed to reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.

(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care (many have already done this, to no worthwhile avail)
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain. Delimiting ingestion of both is wise.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open whichever windows punctuate your room and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.

I've done my part. Anyone else?

I just played a dating sim for the first time. In hindsight the story was nothing special at all, but the innocent nature of the love story between the MC self insert and female lead left me afterwards feeling even worse than I usually do

It's been a few days since I finished the game and holy shit do I feel empty. I keep thinking; it's over, it's over. It's almost as though my cold dead heart became that much heavier and now i'm irritated

I suspected I would feel this way but ignored my better judgement. I've played similar games but they were more lustful which didn't hurt at all.

TLDR: Romantic dating sims are a cognitohazard

i keep wondering if all fiction could be unhealthy for the brain. human life is so short, a day has so few hours. how can you take one or more of these hours and flee to a place that doesn't exist and disconnect from your own reality.

places that don't exist have begun to repell me. my own reality has so many projects i would like to attend to that i feel gridlocked by not knowing what to do first. desire for fiction might be nothing but pure idleness.

i assume i understand the impulse, though i could be mistaken. when i was a child and were forced to attend child prison (school), the idea of no longer being able to explore the world at my own pace and instead had to spend time with the violent conformist was completely depressing. have them judge my intelligence based on how hard i could force myself to care what they thought was important in their desperate attempt to turn me into a mindless soldier and stomp all my dreams and interests in the process.

i'd flee into video games and at least videogames are interactive. in a video game i can make decisions, in school i was but an inmate without agency. but in a movie about a super hero, there is no interaction, the poor fool who watches this is but the passive recipient of centralized propaganda. i don't see how someone would accept this premise and spend time on this.