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Anybody else feels like this? I am alive but I'm dead. Life has no sense for me and every thing I dreamed of is completely impossible. No mattee what I do nothing will ever change, even if I manage to do better there are outside things that make everything impossible and worthless, even worse now with this coronameme thing. So I just have no hopes nor anything, life in the past was shit and there will be no justice ever. I live in automatic mode, my past 4 years just passed by, I even get confused about when did stuff from past years happened, for example a mail that I was sure I received it in 2019 turned out to be from 2018. I can't kill myself, I've tried but I simply can't. A part within me gets hyped when small sparks of hope appear but they get crushed instantly by reality. I'm almost resigned that this is the kind of life I'll have until I die. I used to escape from this with lame entertaining (anime, porn, exercise, learning stuff, etc) but that doesn't works anymore. I don't get why the fuck I had to be born
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If I said I cared about that I wouldn't be much different than a normalfaggot with their false sympathy.


This sounds like something a normalfag would say. eat shit and die faggot nigger


He is in prison though thats the thing his prison is his existence with a life sentence.


This to the nth degree. If someone feels like dogshit, it is the dogshittedness that they feel like that matters, not the condition of their shoes or what's in the fridge.


You should look up the definition of catharsis sometime.

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How do you get a job if you've never worked and you are over 30 years old? Anyone have any experience with this? I've come up with several plausible explanations to tell an employer if they question your huge gap in working:
>say something like "My grandmother had Alzheimer's and I had to take care of her during the last years of her life"
>lie on your resume and put down fake companies that are now defunct
>say that you had a medical condition that prevented you from working (do NOT specify what is was) and assure the employer that you can now work
What else can you say? To be more specific, I want to find an entry level office job but I also know having no prior employment is going to be an issue.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.


Apply to every single job listing on every jobsite that was posted in the past week. Make tweaks to your resume so that it meets whatever requirements they demand.
try workign on some personal projects and uploading it to github or whatever and putting that in your application. They love to see out-of-school applied knowledge.

Maybe apply for neetbux from being mentally disabled. If that doesn't work then move to a 1st world nation and apply for neetbux once you get citizenship.


Volunteering is the poorer man's internship.
If you want to get skills that gets you paid above minimum wage.


Rather than put down a fake company I would say that you worked for an independent contractor as a sub-contractor. Contractors that work solo and just hire sub contractors when they need help don't have to file paperwork to incorporate in my state and neither do sub-contractors that work "independently" as hired hands for contractors. It's only when they hire employees that they have to file paperwork to incorporate a company and hiring subcontractors helps them get around this and allows them to not give benefits and shit. You can say the guy you were working for died. This is my plan for when I need to wage slave.


OP here. Yeah, I was diagnosed with the 'tism. Maybe vocational rehab is my only hope at this point.


Entry level jobs usually don't verify credentials, and the less they pay the less likely they care to check

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How do I enjoy Videogames again? I used to enjoy them a lot but know they just don't make it for me anymore.
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Playing for achievements/gamerscore seems to keep me motivated than "playing for fun". I can't play a game anymore just to play it. I have to have something to show for it, and that's how I derive my fun.


I didn't play a video game for about eight years and when I first got back into it it was really fun but after a couple months I'm already burnt out on them.


It's called stagnation and it has nothing to do with maturity bornis it desirable.


What games did you use to play, OP?


You move onto other hobbies I think many of us went from enjoying games daily to not enjoying them and at worst shitposting all day instead.

I make it clear to people I do not play games does anyone else as people assume as a NEET you just play video games all day.

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>Shunned by "friends" /any group I've ever tried to be apart of
When did you realize you were destined to be alone forever?
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I'm that orangutan. I've been that orangutan my whole life


I didn't realize that I would be alone forever as much as realize that I would 'feel' alone forever. I can be around family, I can be around 'friends' it doesn't make me feel complete. I constantly feel like no source of conversation will ever feel sufficient or worthwhile. It's just pointless whenever I bother I feel unfulfilled, I compare I judge the topic, the amount. I'm getting fed up with trying. There's an emptiness in me that simply can not be filled, why feed it?


some time ago


I was extremely high strung as a kid which caused people to bully me because they thought it was amusing how pissed off I would get. While I did have a group of outcasts I would hang out with at school, I would have a 'limit' so to speak as to how long I could socialize with them. After a certain point I would become very irritable and want them to leave me alone, which naturally alienated me from them over time.

By the time I was a teen they would tolerate my presence at best since we had known each other for so long. I was then becoming very opinionated and rebellious as most teens do, on top of having a low emotional intelligence. By the end of high school I was just about done speaking to anyone and they had all begun flourshing into adults while I remained an irritable manchild who spent most of his money on old video games. By that point I realized that I'm never going to get to lead a normal life.

TL;DR I realized I was going to be alone forever because I have low emotional intelligence and naturally gravitate towards solitude.


When I realized I was too good for normie's friendship and too dumb to hold an intellectual conversation with a wizard.

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>everyone around you knows everything about you
>police tells everything you do to your parents
>your entire city is trolling you
>you're considered a faggot
>you have no job/income

This is the tragic situation I am in, so tell me I am looking for solutions
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People say that shit isn't real all the time.


He must think that god exists too


Just a tip. Try cutting out caffeine and see if the paranoia subsides.


Or weed. Or whatever other stimulants you might be using.



Wise advice, stimulants can really fuck you up in the long term. Speaking from experience

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What is the most depressing movie you've ever seen? Threads and Leaving Las Vegas for me.
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Where can I torrent/stream submarino wizzies?


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Seconding this. Poor Neil. Don't know if he's an actual Wizard but he comes close.

Some movies that moved me a fair bit were:
-Conversation Piece (1974), it's Italian but the primary audio is English and I believe it's available on rarbg. Very Wizardly-themed, though the main character isn't strictly a Wizard.
-Dark Horse (2011) by Todd Solondz. This is more NEET-themed but I think most Wizards would find it pretty relatable.
-Courier (1986), a Russian movie available on Youtube with English Subtitles. Very bleak ending that almost has a 'Welcome to the NHK' sort of feel to it.


I'm Thinking of Ending Things was a sad movie I watched recently. It's very poetic and beautiful, but also very sad. It's about an elderly man who works as a janitor (in the book the movie is based on we learn that he had some kind of mental breakdown in his twenties, dropped out of college, and became isolated and withdrawn) and his final visit through his memories.


Good recommendations. Lilja 4-Ever is actually broadcast to all highschool students in Moldova (and perhaps Ukraine) to discourage young succubi from being tricked into replying to fake advertisements abroad in search of a steady income. The scale of human trafficking, especially for sexual reasons, in Eastern Europe is absolutely depressing.


I dont ever feel bad while watching movies about bad things happening to succubi because i cant relate for example lilya 4 ever. It was her fault what happened to her and even if it wasnt. I dont think i would feel bad for her. I can only feel sad for characters that i can relate to for example that anime movie colorful he was like me 10 years ago.

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I want to take DRUGS

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Spoken like a true druggo


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Stay clueless while I mold my very reality to my image.
You cannot stop a man on drugs. We are above humans.




Drug addict logic

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Usually Wizards are solitary steering clear from socializing in any form so they may concentrate on uncovering the mysteries of the universe as is our nature however on a rare occasion when out foraging for medicinal herbs or traveling along the plains we come across another wizard and against all odds form a friendship.
Have you had a friend online Wizards? How did this friendship come about and do you still maintain contact? Have you lost a friend and have you been able to get over it?

This Wizard has had a friend and after much thought now considers relationships as poison of the soul for you may feel joyous sharing spells and discussing topics only a wizard could speak of amongst themselves but when your trusty owl is unable to deliver messages and you have to return to dwelling in the forest alone with no other soul alike yours again it only brings you pain.

You see the hedonic treadmill is real however one may adjust to their new normal but will never forget their previous state of spirits high sharing your wisdom with another wizard as you will forever remember what those brief moments felt like and no matter how good they were they taint your experience of life ever after and as wizards live such a long time it is all the more painful.
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>If that was the case then that would also mean the same for negative experiences
Except this is not the case we have all experienced abdominal pain or some illness yet we are not consciously aware that we are not experiencing pain it simply does not work that way and I dislike the simplification of Darwinian perspectives but on this front it makes sense and just from reflecting on your own experience this far it would be obvious.
The opposite is simply not true although we pain to think how good we once had it whatever that may be we do not to the inverse and if we happen to it is a conscious effort to remind ourselves to be thankful.

>Its really not that hard to make friends

In theory of course it is not that hard and baffling how so many are lonely as they are unable to make others enjoy their company but it can be a more complicated matter for some.

>it really is if you make an effort to learn social cues and communication

You are right if that is your problem but when it is on a deeper level the inability to make connections not due to people being unwilling die to poor social skills but to actually connect itself it does not matter and you can be on the level or well above the level of a normalfag when it concerns having the ability to follow social cues and being well liked by those around you and be unable to make a friend because you do not see anything in anyone on a level deeper than a casual acquaintance.


guess you never learned that beggars can't be choosers


>Except this [… ]own experience this far it would be obvious.
Could you expand on this section? I honestly don't understand what your trying to communicate.
>The opposite is simply not true
In my experience it is true, time washes away everything, and with it the feeling you once had. Normalization is probably one of the strongest components to human consciousness, and is very closely tied to things like habits and repetition. It is this ability that lets a man live as a slave being whipped, he normalizes even the worst experiences. "The more things change the more they stay the same". So too with trials and tribulations, melancholy and depression, or happiness and joy. Time and normalization will steal it all away.
>In theory of course
>on a deeper level the inability to make connections
Connections (and words similar in meaning) are a spook in my opinion, friendship is just two people mutually enjoying being around each other in a bond of self interest. Most of the "lonely" types don't realize that they must make an effort to entertain the other person, just as the other person does to them. There are many different situations of friendships, like pairing those who love to hear themselves talk with those who enjoy listening, but at the end of the day you dance with conversation and it takes two to play. It is actually this "deep connection" spook that makes people feel and become lonely, they continually wish for something that does not exist, and it inhibits their ability to make friends since they expect the other to just "accept" them the way they are. The reality is that you have to make concessions with your thoughts/actions, and have to lie/fake many things to maintain friendship. That is just the way it is.

I would only accept this if you were born autistic, and I don't mean the 4chan slang autistic, but literal medical diagnosis low functioning autism. Even "high functioning autists" can make friends, they are usually just too obsessed with trains or something to bother.


>Could you expand on this section? I honestly don't understand what your trying to communicate.
You said that if we do indeed create a reference after reaching a certain level of happiness which we reflect back upon constantly than the same must be true for when we reach our most miserable. I mentioned that whilst we may be aware of how bad we had once felt not feeling that bad currently does not make us feel better and we instead have to remind ourselves how good we have it on a conscious level.
The negative feelings we experience do not have the same properties as the positives when it comes to the way they affect our perception of ourselves let alone the world in entirety.
You do not wake up and feel great relief over not having the toothache when you were 13 a broken arm from childhood and the semi frequent stomach ache and so on but we are acutely aware of how not good we feel.
Although I may be aware I should be glad/thankful I am not experiencing numerous ills that I have before of various types emotional and physical this awareness is not does not shape my very experience of life itself below the conscious level if that makes sense as does not being as good as I once felt. If it was the case that we reacted the same to lows as we do highs past the event when we have returned to baseline than one would not have to strive forward with endless endeavors to chase a feeling of satisfaction and happiness but could break their arm and after healing be constantly satisfied by just not being in constant pain.

>Connections (and words similar in meaning) are a spook in my opinion,

What I mean by connection is the very ability to see someone more than an animated lump of flesh and your opinion that conenctions are somehow not real and people who cannot make connections just need to make an effort to entertain people is obviously garbage.
This is ONLY the case if t is people who are socially inept as mentioned before so once again not everyone is socially retarded and some are just NOT able to enjoy other people compared to what would be considered normal.

The Schizoid individual lacks for example the ability to connect to others do you think a schizoid who is unable to establish value in a relationship with another just needs to learn to make an efforPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


>does not make us feel better and we instead have to remind ourselves how good we have it on a conscious level.
Which is just nonsense, since that would also apply to the reverse. What you are really telling me is that you are depressed because you obsess over negative thoughts while not doing the same with good ones. I suggest normalfag advice: "think positively" but unironicaly. You have created a false delusion, the reality is that you are alive.
>the very ability to see someone more than an animated lump of flesh
So a spook, which means you fall directly into the category that I suggested earlier. The rest of your post just continues that connection mean anything beyond self interest, which is delusional.

The truth is that you are a gender dysphoric CC migrant trannycrab suffering from drug/porn addiction and delusional thoughts. My suggested therapy and cure is suicide as soon as possible.

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Will anyone cry when you die? Will you have a funeral?

No and no for me. I'm lonewolf since parents died. I have nobody, only people that would even know is coworkers.
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Trust me, no one would miss you.


you will regret saying that one day, wizzie.
Trust me


your work will just hire a new person within 3 days. colleagues may mention you one time during lunch; that silent guy who gives off a weird vibe.
"friends" won't give a flying fuck

your parents/siblings will care. that's all really.


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op on that fateful day


op, discord clique and moddess ^

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How i do stop being a complete edgelord? most conversations i have devolves into goth tier loathing and in the few voice chats i tried forcing myself to join i could only say slurs and make everyone mad at me. at least part of it is due to the fact that one of my only dopamine sources is unironically watching gore videos and sometimes masturbating to dead succubi. i have practically no social skills and im a dead end autistic schizo loser who is quite possibly the ugliest scariest most boring man alive. any ideas? thanks.
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are you vegeterian?


pretty on point


hoodsite died too, gore is becoming more taboo/harder to find i guess.


It's not, but if you read sysadmin sites, a whole bunch of LEA's, agencies and other governmental stalkers are going after the hosters.
They can make your life hell and brand you a threat to the country, it's not worth hosting these.

When your adversary is someone with access to NSA and can find out identity with man in the middle (MITM) attacks it's pointless.

Those sites were easier to host when the internet was more of a wild west. Post ~2018 everything is extremely regulated.

Early days of Wizchan if you told me LEAs read this place I would just have laughed you off. Today it's probably a reality.
There are no sanctuaries left.

Once you get branded as a threat and people can find your name in court documents your life is practically over and you will have massive social stigma.
Not to mention every time you travel you will be subject to extra checks and LEA people might "pay you a visit" randomly years after the fact.


live gore is quite nice I quite enjoy it

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