/dep/ - Depression

The queues are always stupidly long too, i have sometimes had to wait hours just for some miserable lady to pick up and give me "motivational poster" ass advice

AFAIK, a door slam and a gunshot would be indistinguishable over the phone line.

They are designed for normies with normie problems "My succubus left me man!!" "Chad cheated on me !" or some other studpid reason. I texted one around 2013 in my country and gave them a very blackpilled reason for wanting to die, they couldn't even use the le happy responce they just said hope it gets better please call the police LOL

>>308735
whatever the reason is these hotlines exist, they basically 'do nothing' except call the cops on some callers

My country basically has shut them down. Mental health awareness fatigue has set in. Its an addictive habit ringing them up anyway.

>>301325
If you don't need money, then get friends is not a need. I've tried being friendly and nice with people but always think that being a good guy to them is being weak so they surprise when I don't tolerate their injustices over me and automatically they consider me a threat to their environment so unless that I need money or stuff like that, I don't have any interest to know new people. At least until I get a friend that don't want to use my kindness to mock me around or use me.

>>301325
It took me awhile to find friends on discord. If you play video games you gotta find them in the games you like. Popular games are easier to find people but not high quality, high quality meaning good match for you. I found a friend while i was living in a hotel playing dark souls remastered on switch like 5 years ago and still play with him to this day. He found more people and they became my friends too. I also found friends playing pubg. I think for men and especially autistic men which i was very autistic before, it’s better to have a shared goal or objectives and the small talk is just a ctach up or time occupier inbetween gameplay. This could also be applied to a mens shed or something where you go to build objects or whatever else. When you’re socially awkward it’s better to have something to focus on objectively until you gain enough levels to tolerate and then later enjoy small talk. It took me years but now i enjoy myself with random people from good discord groups. I count myself lucky. I could have easily never recovered.

I am alone because having connection to the Inter is not equal finding people like myself.

>>301325
Also, bump.

Yesterday, a simple question of what to eat for the next dinner / breakfast was turned into a heated negotiation with various rhetoric tricks. Old good tactic - put your terms as "suggestion" and proceed to manipulate your opponent of a family member into agreeing with you. If the opponent proposes something else - proceed to ask dumb questions, suggest new ideas, rephrase your opponent's idea in the wrong way and so on. I am stuck with this faux-retarded highly educated person and my only way out is to abandon my decent job. Ugh. And the worst thing is, I actually do care about them so just grabbing my laptop and HDDs, some bags of clothing, and going away from them to a small rented apartment on a taxi is not for me

Regards,
>>309202

>>309203
P.S.

No matter how I tried, instead of finding people like myself, I would be greeted with… well, enough negativity against my "attempts to look bigger than I am", as they used to put it.

I
Have
Given
Up

Just had a realization.
All the times I thought "well someday"…
Someday isn't even today.
That day of action, that one day where dreams come true was 10 years ago.
It just never happened.
It passed by like any other day.
A day of inaction. Then a month and year and a decade.
It should have been. Long ago. I should be reminiscing about those days today. I don't even have the fond memories to look back on.
Failure? Is it a failure if you never tried? I don't know.

Facing mortality like this feels impossible.

>Every time I think of death, the end of my self I can feel my brain fighting it, pretty much actively trying to shut down.

that's the little you who somehow got into the cockpit. there are deeper parts of you, how bout letting them into the cockpit and kick the little you out?

>I screwed myself, my health because
if you don't want to die then how come you aren't healthy. that'd be the number one thing you would make sure to handle because it is the only thing that can give you extra years.

pasta, pizza, soda and candy don't give you extra years, they shorten your life.

>How do you deal with the inevitability of death?
i'm healthy and i try to make the best out of the little time i have left. i'm not that good at using my time and i am way slower then i would like to be because of the constant molestation and hostility around me that i keep having to pick myself up from but what matters is that i am getting better. the reason i don't worry about death or getting old is because i trust in my abilities and in the preparation i am doing, also i was never tricked in this cultural delusion of all the idiots who prioritize in controlling everything and everyone and in the process never even felt the present moment. the worry you experience might be the result of the state of greed that you have accepted as normality. normal people are just fuel for corruption, they aren't alive the way i am or the other people who try to live a life of wisdom. they are just imposters who get so jealous that their circuits jam when they see someone alive. i'm sure you have never found the good stuff in life so you are like all the others who haven't. it's tragic but i don't think you can be helped. until you question the peer pressured life, your life will feel empty, shallow and distant. the real you is sitting passenger while the little you flies the plane. if you were sitting in the cockpit yourself, you could fly to where it is nice but passengers don't get to make decisions, or believe in free will.

just quit being a passenger and fly yourself.

>>305937

>>306014
Halts? 14 years old? Or maybe we're on a computer that a 14 years old got as a 9th grade gift.


>>305937
>>306172

Count me in!
I still have some issues with the "worth living" part despite having it objectively easy these days.

And the death is a "taboo" for me too, not the EL QUERO VIVRE burning desire to live, but rather… rather…

>>306169
Peter griffin manga edition ? pic

>>306722
regression for someday- by what is there

Creatine Monohydrate should be supplemented because to get a full working dose one would need to eat an entire chicken dinner's worth of beef. It's vital in the human body's functions that relate to not being unhealthy. I've been taking it for years and I'm very strong and smart and large.

>>307661
That seems like a lot to take in but many men's health support supplements cover much of that in two doses. Ideally much of this shouldn't be supplemented but rather acquired through an actual balanced diet, but that would probably give a caloric surplus for the average NEET.

>>308003


I ask a chatbot (cheap DeepSeek, nothing fancy) to be a decent time-managing coach for me and tell DS some tasks off my head… get a timetable… tell DS some more… get a bigger timetable - bam! Now I have a three hour time-table for tomorrow :)

>>308402
Update: it's done and many more

>>303176
I have bought a vial of synthetic vitamind D, diluted in water, thanks to a hint from >>305097

I feel less anxious and not as doomed as before. I think half of my depression is gone.

As a soy/lentils eater, I decided to start eating B12 without even getting tested.

>>307661
Cool. Which brands I should ask my AI assistant? I am going to get something similar.

>>309176 that’s crazy 33 is nutz i’m 19.

I ate shit in the school parking lot and a group of succubi laughed at me, i still haven't recovered

>>309177
Pack it up unc, shouldn't you be at work

>>309178 i envy you

>>309178
Shit's fetish fuel for some.
Maybe you are the reason one of them weren't dating chads because your stunt has provided her enough fetish fuel to stick to finding a c&a fella to feed stinky fish at evening dinners

Sorry if that sounds un-wize. I just think it can be healing to think personal actions may turn a succubi into a … neutral "self-sufficient" witch-like entity

massive drinker of beer. When im binging I can do 20 5% bottles of 3xx ml a day. currently trying to lower it a lot as I am running into health issues, 50 beers a week is kinda my max now and ideally want to do 24 a week

>>309070
Have you ever thought of referring to kombucha as "the booch"? I have. In fact last time I was at the store I asked the f/emale in the aisle whether they have any "booch" and she told me that they did not. Joke's on her!

Video games

>>309098
boochi the rock

>>309089
Not a big deal if you eat a lot of food too, but then you get fat. I'm currently maintaining 10-12 a day by working out 5x a week and being a good long distance runner. I've only ever run into health problems from beer when I drank on an empty stomach.

I don't understand where this desire to be seen as a victim comes from.

>>309028
there is no desire. society judges your complaints as either valid or not. you are not a victim if you're a wizard. you are a victim if you're brown or female. that's all.

>>309028
it's a self-defense mechanism. by self-victimize yourself, you're telling someone you are weak and not worth being the targets of bad things they want to do to you. it also comes from fear

>>309015
It's "honest" (in brackets).
You can say to someone who doesn't mean to bully you it hurts already hoping civilized people to back off before some kind of a treatening to sue over moral damages arises. Soyboys are especially good at that.

Unfortunately, it does not *deter* bullies. If you are some kind of manipulator who collects evidence for possible lawsuits, you're golden, and so is your lawyer. If you're honestly asking to leave you alone with this victimization of yourself, you're in the wrong… spot.

>>309030
>>309029
self-victimisation is nonsense

>>308046
My ego is very fine, don't worry. You avoided my point though

yea everyone pretends to fit in, that's the God of the normie, social approval.

>Conformity and imitation drives human behaviour

Yeah, read René Girard

>>308903
Before I read an "in-a-nutshell" explanation of his ideas and some of the examples maybe…





…i would like to say I do find myself in the situations when the very feel of being pushed to the limit creates strong emotional feedback within my mind.

>>308903
Thank you for this recommendation. This is fascinating. Listening to a podcast about him. Yes, the theory of desire being mimetic makes sense. As does the idea that the subject of copying becoming a rival. This being a basis of violence. Therefore competitive violence is, for want of a better word, natural or inevitable. Scapegoating becomes the way of attaining stability. Makes sense. One can see it in schools.

>>297753
>How do you guys fight anhedonia?
Have you tried nicotine?

I fight anhedonia with high ABV beer. But I only get drunk on Friday evening. I'm sober the rest of the time.

When I'm drunk (not wasted), I enjoy playing videogames, I enjoy music.

>>301975
>Life with anhedonai feels pointless. No pleasure, no point? Like why do anything. I just end up doing nothing

This.

>>305617
I tried it. It kinda works, but the nicotine burnout was unpleasant and accidently overdosing on velo pouches is worse than any hangover i've ever had

>>297753
Intense exercise in the heat followed ice baths/having icy water thrown on you. It is hard and sometimes I just want to stop because stand up grappling can be temporary hell.

Muay Thai in the heat is fucking fixing me right now. I am not great but endorphins/dopamine/fat loss/muscle mass increase and self esteem from getting better is the only thing so far that has improved my brain so much. Feel myself enjoying music so much more. Just sparring to the beat they play in the gym. Makes me want to shadow box all the time because I just want to get back to the gym.
My biggest regret is not doing this like mad when I was a teenager. Instead I waited until 31.

>>308925
Darn I wish I had a gun to shoot myself with.

Are you sure it isn't just survival instinct? I tried to hang myself in january but backed out at the last moment.

>>308977
there are better methods than hanging so no reason to do it that way unless you're in a hurry, the risk of not doing it properly and suffering a slow and painful death or surviving with brain damage is too high

>>308979
still better than overdosing or jumping

I remember seeing that on family guy, the talking dog speaking about having a gun as last resort which gave him comfort. First time I've ever truly agreed with something that's a little taboo. If I had a sure and quick way to die if things ever got too much I'd live a little more carefree. A goodnight switch is how I like to call it. Sure I could just jump off a tall building, but that's really hard to overcome the instinct, and also the natural fear of heights. I've looked down a stairwell that was 18 floors high and I hated the visual and sensation it gave me.