/dep/ - Depression

>>306236
Anime is mainstream now, and so are video games. Those hobbies are pretty normie coded now, since nobody gatekept enough.

>>306238
thank you for informing me. last anime I watched was ElfenLied, an early 2000s anime. Had to hunt down an uncensored version. I can hardly imagine normies being into this kind of stuff. I bet they watch only the most "top of the iceberg" stuff like Attack on Titan and those shitty westernised "animes" on Netflix.

>>306251
https://www.netflix.com/tudum/articles/anime-on-netflix

l m a o

>I hope that mutts, slavs, jeets, chinks, kikes, crackers, niggers, faggots, all start launching their nuclear weapons and put an end to this bull shittery that's been going on. Put an end to this faggotified planet. There's literally no place left for me to go.
I feel this to my core. Been waiting for the nukes to drop since forever. Yet I'm still here. Starting to think they never will. Clown world continues unabated while I grow older and more miserable. Sigh.

>>305763
the point is that these options are not prepared pasta types continent of wheat or arsenic-laden rice. carbohydrate-dense repasts set together from non-wheaten non-rice sources are fine but not always easy to identify or make…and in any case the eating of pig or the skin of a pig is never healthy.

binge drinking recently broke me out of a pretty bad depressive episode.

>>305763
AFAIK, "carb heavy" foods differ in terms of digestion speed though.

>>305795
don't over-do.

>>304793
Do you follow this diet?

>How are you supposed to know if you just have mental illness or if you are disabled by that mental illness?
If you're cognizant enough to ask this, then you're very likely not mentally ill. The entire prospect of 'mental illness' is not being able to introspect and be concerned with ideas related to your own capability or the consequences of being placed in an uncomfortable situation. You can try to claim some sort of social disorder such as social anxiety, but that's a learned disorder not inherent to some sort of physical ailment of the brain, so the government might not care. Don't fall for the "I'm forever helplessly mentally ill because I don't particularly enjoy being in crowded places" ruse. By all means fake it to get out of jury duty, but don't willingly lower your own expectations of yourself because some memelords online have convinced you that you're braindead in spite of you proving yourself able to communicate functionally.

>>306061
Never go to the psych ward or be blatantly honest with a therapist. These people are quick to deem you mentally adjudicated (incompetent) and will fuck you over for life.

Just because society socially ostracizes you doesn't mean you're mentally ill necessarily; it's a negative feedback loop.

All they'll do is gaslight you and project onto you. If you do need to seek out help from them, attempt to be as relatively neurotypical and politically correct in a nuanced way as possible, and pretend that their shit advice is somehow a groundbreaking revelation of self-awareness.

I think this is obvious unless you are truly delusional, or too retarded to realise you are retarded. I would avoid this jury stuff anyway, even when you interact with the court system in a good way these things somehow always bring bad stuff in your life

I know I must be developing schizophrenia. I am seeing plenty of visual hallucinations such as animals like cats and dogs that don't belong to me playing in my house, seeing massive spills of juice on the floor then it fades away after a minute. However the thing that gets me are the little things that aren't interesting enough to be noted as fake, such as hearing a knock on the door or a phonecall which really irritates me. At least I'm not seeing demons and believe the government is trying to kill me like my mother gets

>>306193
I’m schizoaffective and also suffer with hallucinations. I have subtle hallucinations such as the ceiling fan sound can merge with voices, it gives off the feeling of being in the interrogation room from COD: Black Ops.
I have hallucinations where I can telepathically hear people’s inner monologue. There’s plenty other stuff but what makes it worse is that I lost my inner monologue after using copious amounts of psychedelics, so I’m stuck with these voices and intrusive thoughts without any room for my own.

It’s fucking over

In my opinion you absolutely need to suppress the physical pain before anything else, because I know it makes life unbearable

Second, I would suggest to find a way to disappear from your family

these kind of purgatories where you are neither dead or alive are the worst
no stranger to it myself but i will be killing myself for real soon

No peace for us

Remember what truly matters. If you have something left to do in this world, do it wiz. Death also awaits me soon.

>>306148
>Tsk-tsk-tsk. Sounds too crabby for wizardchan.
Creep

>>305405
>>305756
Hey anon, me again. Not sure how long I will manage to live with this illness… I am very close to suicide. It worsened recently and I am unable to feel sleepy, hungry, thirsty… My body and my mind are deteriorating. I lost my identity. I lost the ability for deep abstract thought, analysis, ability to recall facts or learn new skills… I don't even have the strenght to try anymore. Stopped working out and eating healthy, I am slowly rotting and have no more will because my situation doesn't seem like it will ever get better. If it improves, that will be in many years. Completely ruined life. Apparently David Foster Wallace died because of ssris withdrawal I'm afraid it's my fate too.

What do you think of TRT, reinstatement… or something else? I have been told to do keto diet. I really feel like the best thing would be to microdose shrooms, lsd, ket or meth but I'm a retard that cant find them online asides from lsd but my card wont work on the damn site right now. I don't want to die like this. I don't know what I did to deserve this.

Picrel is the doctor that got me on ssris telling me I'm a liar, hope it makes some lurkers realize how its all so devilish. You dont wanna end up like me, I took the poison for a month and now more than a year after I stopped taking it I have severe anhedonia, numb penis, no libido, no feelings from ejaculation, worse cognitive function, hard time imagining things in my head, and what I wrote above… I think about ending my ridiculous existence every day. People used to tell me I was good in a field, people praised me as a kid and I even skipped a grade, I was the kid constantly in existential crisis. I met fascinating people. but now it's all over.

I wanted to trust the world, doctors, my parents and look how miserable I am now. If you see a miserable fuck whine about this condition on 4/x/ its me.
Never be too kind or you will be eaten alive by this cruel and devilish world.

>>306219
You should never immediately trust someone because of their status or credentials.

They might have status or credentials but they are still human and as such you can never trust their intentions until you've proven them.

>>306223
I know. I even knew it was poison. But I was in a dark place, very young, and didn't have enough life experience to realize how much this stuff could destroy me. And most of all, I wanted to make my mother happy.
>They might have status or credentials but they are still human and as such you can never trust their intentions until you've proven them.
You are very correct.

>>306148
Didn't mean to sound so dramatic. I hate crabs and their brain dead ideas. The truth is that I could never kill a human being.

>>305097
Thank you for being with me.
See, I used to hear on how the lack of vitamin D ruins the mood for the Finnish people. I understand when a Saint-Petersburg guy lacks the money to buy some cod liver, but the Finns??? Thank you for explaining the need for proper meds-like vitamins D

Regards, OP




>>305097
>The downside of this is that I cannot blame fatigue for my lack of interest in developing my skills…

ugh? uh? Your job, mate? Your title?
Coulda help you a li'l bit at that I guess

If you work at some gov't job, you will feel empty a bit from the very nature of strict gov't jobs, "by the book" and stuff… If not, please tell so I could some looking up.

>that's a psychological issue no ammount of money will solve.
Ah, sometimes you just need some *edutaiment* videos that explain your things in fun manner rather than bold manner. Coulda ask a chatty for some fun channels to larn something *adjacent* to the skills you already have

>>305093
>to steel my nuts, lol?
:D

>anyway what does iron do?
hmmmmm… blood cells use Fe+ ion to contain, to "grab"/"hold" oxygen.

Less ferrum in your body means less Fe+ atoms are ready to parttake in your fresh blood generation.

Thing is, one's blood cells can only be used for mere weeks and then it gets recycled by your own body. The efficency is around 40%, if I remember it right.

Therefore, your body needs iron to make new blood as your body keeps destroying old blood cells with Fe atoms going down the drain.


>will it help me not feel like somebody's trying to crush my neck when anxiety hits? i'm fucked up enough that anxiety feels like a very physical thing

Hmmmmmm… Iron deficency and anxiety can be interlinked.

Some random words on top of that:
"inflatable neck collar", the thing's under 5$
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My family wants me to go full-on vegan for, roughly, a month. This has been happening, well, around every season.

I reckon going full vegan will turn me into a soywiz. I can't stand going vegan then going un-vegan then going vegan back and forth.

1) What do? Sneaky approach or clash with my family?

2) Can I claim such a diet - and the stress from the fact I've been *shunned into* taking it - has been ruining my mental health in case I request help and get some "how come a dude like you have problems? You're just faaaat".

>>305097
I'd suggest it's an issue where you are either aware of, or have been conditioned to, see said skills as useless. Perhaps not in the immediate sense in that maybe you could weld a beam or something, but having the skill of welding a beam is pointless without a suitably "nutritional" context to apply it.

This one is something i've encountered recently; I could get all the raises I wanted, get promotions and take on more work at work - it didn't actually change anything in my day to day life for the better. When I found tax efficient investment, a working context where each day was tangibly better than the last as a consequence of the work done, and so on, life got better.

Don't ignore your environmental nutrion - in the sense of what you are exposed to every day in the work place psychologically. "I put in 14 hours a day for months on end and I got not fired" is a strong signal to your body not to bother. If what you're doing doesn't actually make life better, why do anything more than the bare minimum is a perfectly rational strategy if your life is devoid of opportunity for significant change and positive feedback.

>>305097
I sure hope this will solve my problem of inaction as well.
I'm getting a blood test for vitamin D because I was like might as well see if it was really low before I supplement if that makes sense.
I hope I'm low on some nutrients or something so I can at least hope for salvation.
>that's a psychological issue no ammount of money will solve.
Unfortunately an outcome I also dread. Maybe I'm too old for this shit. New tricks old dogs or whatever.

>>305927
yes bully memories still haunts me after more than a decade.

>Being me
>got a job
>everything is ok for the first time in my entire life
>speak to coworkers
>after some months coworkers begin to act WAY too familiar. like, a lot

>begin to throw shit at each other, me included

>one of them point out a delicate situation about me not going to work past week

it hurts
he laughs
everyone laughs
i fucking wish him to shut the fuck off
got so much shit inside me so I cant figure a way of resolving this withouth violence

my instincts are telling me to throw a punch as revange for all those years being bullied in highschool
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>>306098
1. You probably should switch your current job to night shifts.
Your excuse: "traffic jams finally got me".

2. If fails, switch jobs, but only once your "night shifts" plan failed.

Your excuse: "past jobs was about night shifts. Unfortunately, the windows get too much sunlight in the morning and I just cannot sleep from all the light and heat."

>>305927
Not quite like this, but yeah, I get the general sentiment.
Abused kid, everyone knew about my situation, small village, was bullied as a result, like, major life changing stuff at multiple points in life.
Was a nervous wreck, never quite adapted. Never quite got a fresh start either.

I changed schools 3 times by the time I was 18 and always there was at least a few people who "followed me" as they also changed schools.
These people often weren't the bullies themselves, but soon enough they told my tale and presented me as a social offering to the new tribe if that makes any sense.
They used my past torment and my weakness as a gateway to fitting in themselves. So I never really had a chance on my own merit.

To this day I'm haunted, it happens at at work too if you are unlucky. Contrary to popular belief the "bad bully" wont be your subordinate and you the boss later like my mom used to say.
A loser stays a loser because of the learned behavior patterns and developed character. The bullies are socially apt, they usually rise up.
Ironically enough I had the misfortune of meeting some when I was forced out of neetdom. You can guess how that went.

>>305940
This here is probably the worst of it.
Life is just one eternal highschool. I'm glad to have read your post. Said well and concise.
My mother is the same as me and lived through much humiliation too.
When I was younger I didn't understand why she was so nervous about how we present ourselves, but yeah later on this happened to us too and now I get it.
In an apartment complex you can get screwed in so many ways if the others sense blood in the water, weakness or whatever.
If there is a pre-existing clique and you make one mistake at work as well, you'll suffer. Same everywhere.
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>>305927
God I fucking hate people from HS

>>305927
Just wanting to be left alone is my primary goal in life. Too much trauma.

I disagree only if dreamless sleep dreams are another form of torture designed by the filthy creator

>>305896
>idk about that. think about how we live in an industrial world. we're like cats locked in a flat. you know actually unless you sterilize your cat it'll go insane locked in the house. same with dogs for that matter. i think that's what's happening to people. you can't live like this unless you're castrated, but castration isn't an option is it. so yeah for us at least it's just suffering out there

I knew it.

>you can't live like this unless you're castrated, but castration isn't an option is it
It's not an option here because it's "untraditional".

i feel the same way. i hate who i have become. i am truly disgusting

>>306154
I think society is way more disgusting than any of us.

We owe nothing to the world.

>>306161
Fully agree. I may be a worthless jack of shit, but humans are spawns of the Devil. I don't regret not taking part in their grotesque play.

you're in pain, so your self preservation instincts are constantly on high alert. you definitely sleep ok, eat ok and don't overly exert yourself, so that's what keeps things running. i don't know what you're trying to cope with

>>306000
Oh! Nice round number!
Please tell more on St. Aquinas part of the question

>>306128
evil people just are like that and live for it
can you look at someone like Epstein and imagine there is even the tiniest amount of goodness or purity, anything but the ultimate depravity in him?
there is no good guy inside the high school bully, just someone seeking to do nothing but torment
so when they die they go to the ultimate evil and depravity, that is hell

I'm sorry took a while to gather the energy to reply to anything at all, wont reply to everyone, but thanks for contributing regardless.

>>305943
I'm no longer in a state prior to birth nor do I have any recollection of such.
Therefore it is reasonable to fear what comes after, at least in my eyes.

You might be spot on in some sense, I do suffer from quite a lot of ailments as described, but over all I'm sure I'm blessed compared to many.

Suffering is relative.

A strong person might think what I suffer from is nothing.
To me the suffering of a virgin normie is nothing as well, yet some just blow their brains out for not getting a female demon of their own.
Does any of that matter? Not to me. I'm sure it will get worse, I'm sure I'll suffer more as I age, I might even wish for death later.

Still I don't want to be shut down forever. I would prefer to persist, even if just a specter. I don't desire survival I desire to remain, for my awareness to continue for eternity.
For you maybe that counts as this survival instinct too, but I don't believe so.
Wanting pain to stop and wanting to not exist anymore is not the same for me.

>>305956
>you lack the fantasy to think about the unimaginable.
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>>305937
I'm in a similar boat. Life not worth living, but death is a taboo for me. The thought of not existing gives me have anxiety attacks; the thought of eternal existence, good or bad, fills me with dread. I'm a prisoner of my own flesh.