/dep/ - Depression★

Do you have a job?

>>299228
I am currently delivering newspapers
Its a okay job i have my Peace and i anyways Like to walk around
Minimum wage job tho but its enough

I could never have enjoyed youth. I was trapped in a shitty home with a fucked family and forced into a torture chamber 5 days a week (school).
Fuck that period of life. Infernal horror.

>>299227 (OP)
Life comes down to same thing. I have seen normalfaggots who are miserable now and they just keep repeating retarded shit about "when we were young and beautiful"

>>299227 (OP)
Spend my youth preparing myself for a good position in the workforce.
>uni
>part time jobs
in the end I just burned out and became depressed. worst part is that a gen-x co-worker actually warned me that I might regret my current decisions. He advice me not to be so frugal and actually spend my money enjoying life. I thought it sounded hedonistic and dismissed it. now that am in my 30s, i agree with that. Instead of saving every penny for the future, should had spent some having fun. my youth would had been much more colourful and I would had been a much happier person now.

>>299241
what would you even spend it on? It isnt that easy to convert money into happiness unless it can allow you to work less

I don't really get what you could do but you did not.

>>299243
>wanted to learn to play piano
>wanted to learn to draw
>friends playing together in games I didn't own
unfortunately the cost of the equipment and software scared me off. Also wasn't sure if I could commit myself to learning it due to both uni and part time job taking up a good chunk of my time. I had a decent gaming pc that I built during high school, but I pirated most of my games to save money. couldn't play together with my uni friends who had legit copies. some had 3ds and played Mario kart 7 together. Wanted to get one to play together, but refrained mostly thinking that my money was better spent on more life important stuff. One time my friends asked if I wanted to travel to the Netherlands together, I decline due to wanting to save money.
economically secured now, but my youth was bleak with a few rare moments of good memories. had I not been so stingy I could had more of those good memories. The friends I had in uni are gone now, too late to do anything about it now, guess things are just going to get bleaker.

>>299227 (OP)
>just wasted away my youth and did nothing
>I should have enjoyed that time and just not worry,gotten high everyday drop out of school and do what i actually enjoy ,Go out blah blah so on and so on
Your second statement hints that there were things that you liked to do but didn't? not sure what you meant with did nothing, was there something preventing you
and you distract yourself with doom scrolling or something?

>>299250
You can't know if paying for those things would have been worth it. I bought a game once just to play with someone when i was a late teen and it was awful. I went on a trip once with people and it was perhaps the worst week of my life. Maybe it is difficult to remember why you really made those decisions. Sometimes our past selves were smarter than we remember and our memories have discarded important context. To me it doesnt sound like those things were really all that important, anyway

>>299252
>To me it doesnt sound like those things were really all that important, anyway
Yeah I am still alive and kicking without those experiences. but the few times I hangout with my uni friends I generally enjoyed it. watched movies together in the cinema, visited a theme park and gather up to play games together at a cybercafe.
my friends did this sort of gathering much more frequent, I showed up on rare occasions, mostly because I realize how much of my money would be burning doing these things more frequently. Realize that my gen-x coworker was right that I was too stingy with my money. saving money now because you think it will get you more joy in the future but it's not a guarantee. bought myself a nice 2k screen for my pc for watching movies and gaming. Costed me €300 but feel less joy from it, then the €22 spent to watch guardians of the galaxy with my friends at the cinema. even when technically being a better choice than visiting the cinema regularly with friends.
>You can't know if paying for those things would have been worth it
true, possible I could had ended up with regret of having less money now to spend. knew that after uni, I wouldn't have much socialization anymore, which is why I saved my money to be more well off later in life. Since this choice didn't make me happier than in my uni days. I just wonder if I be a happier person today had I followed the advice of my gen-x coworker and socialized more, despite the expenses.