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/dep/ - Depression

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R: 11 / I: 0
I'm so fucking ugly and disgusting
It's painful to look myself in the mirror
I wanna kill myself
R: 36 / I: 6

I'm going bald

I'm going broke, and I really don't know how to deal with this fact. I went to 4 doctors to treat it, but none of them worked, and no matter how many medications I took, I was never able to overcome this problem. But these only caused me terrible side effects, such as fatigue, weight gain, apathy, a lot of disinterest in everything, and alopecia, but they were never able to attack the impulses. Violence never stops.
Sometimes I blame my family for raising me in such a violent environment, but then I think it's better to bury the past and look forward. But sometimes it is difficult, since it is not about the violence of 10 or 15 years ago, it is about things sometimes from less than a week ago.

I feel like an alcoholic, where instead of keeping a place free of that poison, it is offered to me in all shapes, sizes, colors and flavors.
R: 42 / I: 4
How old are you? What brought you to where you are? What prevents you from changing?
R: 9 / I: 1

Videogame brain?

Do you think growing up with video games ruined me?

I can't help but get angry at how life is a roguelike game with a randomly generated starter character you only get to play once. Fucked up your health permanently through bad decisions? Too bad you have to live with it even if you now have a healthy lifetyle. Found a new passion in life? Too bad you are now too old to pursue it. Want to study math? Well too bad you were born with a low IQ…

I just hate how you can get locked out of certain routes in life as time goes on or they were locked from the start. I hate how you have no control over what thoughts you get so you can waste your youth doing dumb shit only to realize it once you are an adult and the damage has been done.

I should just focus on what I can change and on the future but I can't help but feel frustrated over this. I can't help but feel envy towards those who managed to be in the right place and make the right decisions to end up with an amazing life and be frustarted at my past self for being so careless.
R: 102 / I: 2

Unlucky with females

Now i don't know if this is madness but can a person like really just be vexxed or cursed to never have a girlfriend ? It's the fact that even when you try it always seems to not go your way, it always goes wrongly, It's fucking insane how much tries you try yet it does not work, it's almost as if there is someone stopping that shit because it's fucking insane how one can keep trying even in any way yet he cannot succeed with getting a succubus.

Do you think there is really some fucking paranormal background to males not having the chance to get a girlfriend even though they do everything that seems to be accepted by Social standards and even break social standards just to get a girlfriend yet with no avail, Even the most handsome yet cannot get it, I remember there was a thread about how people are bound to be lonely well this is a continuation, Do you think there are some who are destined to never have a girlfriend even though it seems absurd ?

Is there anyway to break from this cycle ?
R: 55 / I: 7

It's over - thread for the doomed

Hello. Despite this being a depression board, it seems most people are still around trying to do something. I am in a situation where except dying there is nothing to do, so i decided to make a thread wondering if there are any other people like me online, since it's almost impossible to find anyone even on the outskirts of the internet.

tl;dr i have countless diagnosed and undiagnosed physical illnesses which cause me agony daily and i feel like i'm dying every day, spent all my money on doctors and went into debt, cant make any more money, will eventually be homeless(can happen at any time), addicted to xanax that if i quit im gonna get seizures, i will never have a normal home(never had my own room) or family(mentally retarded?) not to mention my mental health problems etc.
Overall I guess I have around 10 major problems of which each is lethal and will kill me, and 100s of minor ones(which a normal person would consider unbearable). I have nothing and noone, my life self-destructed this the year and it's been half a year of pointless suffering knowing i'm gonna die anyway. I just couldn't push myself to end it since i'm the biggest coward in this world.
I guess i'm not sure if there's anything to talk about, since everyone in similar situations is either dead or sleeping under the bridge and dying. I just lost interest in talking to anyone since I know they can't comprehend my situation at all. Even on suicide forums maybe even 1 person out of 100 is in a situation comparable to mine. So I just made this pointless thread.
If life is truly over for you, and you don't know what to do, this thread is for you.
R: 22 / I: 4
You know, I've been thinking a lot about life and I finally realized something. I finally realized something after so many years of living. When I was 14 or 15, I believed that I would succeed in life, that I would soon become an adult and be able to do something in life. When I was young, I tried to find a job and learn something, but I just hit a wall. By the way, everyone humiliated me at school. Now I'm 26 and I don't want anything from life anymore. I'm literally not interested in succubi or money. I realized that because I couldn't succeed, as I got older, I lost all desire to have or do anything. I finally realized that if everything comes easy to you, you have goals and a desire to do something, and if nothing works out, you just give up. For example, I don't want anything from life anymore, I don't like people, and they don't like me either. Yesterday I overheard my mom and a relative talking on the phone and they said they hate me. You know, no one has ever considered me a person and I'm not a person, in fact I'm a nobody a loser with shitty health no job no goals in life no money and friends I'm a degenerate bastard.
R: 76 / I: 6

There's nothing more brutal than being unemployed in India and seeing roasties and chads get jobs.

I don't even know how to elaborate the sheer brutalness of life, I am so tired of being poor and be dependent upon my parents like a cuck. The state has no concept of neetbuxx. I have completed my degree, and I am sick of getting rejected from interviews, dancing all day long on LinkedIn out of the all fucking websites in the world, begging recruiter here and there. Changing my CV again and again, I do this all day, only to get an offer of a job that pays nothing, that wouldn't even qualify as stipend for internships.

Meanwhile, succubi in my college, particularly good looking succubi have no problem in life, they get paid so much, and get hired at an instant cause they look cool. They are truly untouchable. The new caste system is based upon looks and gender. With gender being the varna, and looks being your jaati. I don't usually get upset at things in life, as I have decided to not kill myself (maybe because of cowardice or simply it's rather unnatural), so the only logical conclusion is to improve the quality of my life that I am gonna live.

But today is one of those days, where you truly feel defeated and raped. It's quite remarkable how different my life is from an average bitch, who starts having sex at 15, travels the world, sleeps with whoever she wants, looks pretty, gets a job just for existing, good at socialising, sports, academics, etc. due to being in an extreme positive feedback loop. And most importantly despite of the cope that goes around in the online spaces, they are happier than the most.

Meanwhile, I have nothing, I don't care for relationships anymore cause damage is already done, but I can't even live a decent life alone and can't get a fucking job. A cunt who studied with me, got a job today for 11LPA INR (13K USD/YR) which is extremely good for India. Meanwhile, I can only get job a few job offers for (2K USD/YR), I mean what the fuck is this? Am I supposed to work 12 hours a day and six days a week for this, all while she goes around pilpuling her bosses and working for just 6 hours a day, 4 days a week?

This can't go on man, I can't live my like this, I don't know but this can't go on, this is wrong. I have legitimately not felt angry for like 3 years but today I really fucking am pissed of, my head hurts, I am just so fucking upset that I can't even cry, like what the fuck did I ever do to anyone to deserve this retarded fate.

I hate the fact that I have to put so much effort into things that fefails and normiescum get so easily, I hate it. Why is the entire world trying to come and kill me? Why is it so tough to just lead a normal fucking life for once? This can't go on. I will legitimately beat the shit out of someone today. Fucking normies have handed entire lives on golden platter to fefails who won't ever spit on them. A true hardworking guy like me gets left behind. Death to attractive roasties. Death to LinkedIn faggot recruiters.
R: 73 / I: 9

The fact that I can't have a girlfriend destroys me.

I would like to be with a being with whom I can share everyday moments, to have a being to worry about, in which I can capture the most beautiful part of my being, to whom I can show my vulnerable parts, express my deepest emotions, and show them really who I am. But who am I really? Even in an anonymous forum, I would say he is a great guy, who went through some things, but who despite everything never gave up, someone who always wants the best for others, and who has an optimistic vision even in the most difficult moments. hard And although in a certain way the above is not a lie, the reality is that there is an uncivilized being inside me, someone so disgusting and unpleasant that I don't even like to admit that we are the same person, and hypocritically, whether consciously or unconsciously. , I pretend it doesn't exist. But this is an undeniable reality, and although it is something that can be hidden, it is something that I would never share with anyone, much less voluntarily. I prefer to be a hermit secluded from all social contact rather than show this part of my being. I'm not going to lie to you, life alone is not the best thing in the world, and it has some associated problems, but it is not something completely bad either, and it helps to value things, self-esteem, one's own thoughts, and leave aside vain issues. like social norms, or what someone outside of us may or may not think of us.
R: 53 / I: 3

Escaping the Demiurge PT 2

Serious question for any wizcels:

Do you ever wonder how you got here…as in, how or why you "woke up" when you did, where you did, to the people (parents) that you did? It's impossible to make sense of. Just on one fucking terrible day, we took up consciousness, literally out of nowhere we are in bodies and tasked with learning the mechanics of entire material world. What caused us to be born when we were, to whom we were? I don't accept that it was random, or mere bare biology..I feel within myself that this life is a targeted punishment and that were I smarter I would have avoided being born entirely. What piece of shit god thinks he/it has the right to do this to us? We are born, thereafter we spend a few years simply making basic sense of things, go off to school, probably suffer a lot, continue to grow up, endure more sadness, and now through all of it we just continue to get older and weaker and sadder. This life is a crime against our souls and whatever caused us to come here HAS TO PAY. Really the only thing I fear is being forced to come back to this shitheap of a world to suffer again…and I do worry about this precisely because I don't know how I got here in the first place. I feel deeply sorry for all the new souls born to this world…there is just so much to learn, but even more there is just so much to suffer through…and I cannot understand what kind of god would force this sort of existence on tender helpless beings? The demiurge must be overcome.
R: 261 / I: 33

Wageslave General

getting angry, getting frustrated edition

previous >>285492
R: 30 / I: 3

fantasies

anyone else pretend in their heads to be in the same or similar position as a nation's dictator, such as putin?

everyone around you must treat you with respect, you have total command over much of the world that surrounds you, only have to keep up high power public appearances - but beyond that you can retreat into social solitude, can experience unmatched luxury without thinking of costs

i sometimes walk around my house handshaking the air

i dont talk to anyone irl or online
R: 38 / I: 1

I'm tired of being bad

I want to change and improve, to be able to get ahead, and achieve great things, but I don't know how.
R: 191 / I: 9

Anti-Suicide General

The purpose of this thread is to counter the general tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads. This thread will therefore feature practical advice about reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.

(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care.
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open the windows to your wiz-cave and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.

I've done my part. Anyone else?
R: 5 / I: 0

Insomnia

Any other Wizards deal with this borderline life ruining condition? I'm so sick of having this incurable disease that totally fucks my life; it's been 6 years now and the longest I've been able to maintain a decent sleep schedule (before midnight) is about a week. I know this is a total shot in the dark, but if anyone knows a way to combat this that isn't some meme-tier sleep hygiene advice it'd be much appreciated. Otherwise, please discuss your mental illness(s) and how they impact you in your day-to-day life.
R: 14 / I: 3

how THE FUCK is the world so chill

We're not sure where we came from and even less sure to whence we go to.We are in 24\7 uncertainty about WHEN we will go there, or just suffer a tremendous tragedy (I am aware of the Hedonic Treadmill ,but you could die before it kicks in)–or the opposite, you wait forever till you die (horribly) waiting for an impossibly lucky event to occur and solve your life.
I'm not complaining people are chill: I am ASKING why people are chill.For example I saw a short ad pop-up about medical students still doing their exams in the middle of bombings in Gaza–that isn't praiseworthy, that's lame and stupid shit.They have super high chances of dying within 1, 2 years…they will never get to be doctors no matter how much they ace the exams.
How do normies react around these topics? How do atheist-marxist plebbitors cope with daily soul-crushing jobs for years on end, reeeing at God or Jezz Bezos or whoever, but never ever coming close to offing themselves after offing their boss\es?
R: 11 / I: 0
Have you ever dealt with crazy family members trying to destroy your life? My aunt is a sadistic psychopath and together with her fiance she enjoys harassing me and my parents. After a quarrel almost a year ago she claimed she will destroy us. Unfortunately we live next to each other so it's impossible to avoid her. She already has a history of odd behaviour, she is unemployed and has a lot of free time on her hands. Every week or so she tries to initiate some kind of conflict. Sometimes she just shows middle finger, sometimes she talks crap so everyone can hear her, sometimes it's other things like snooping on us, stealing mail or bringing random junk close to our border. Yesterday when I told her to shut up her fiance rushed at me, grabbed me by my shirt and I punched him in the face. I already tried contacting police when he threatened to kill me and my parents but they didn't care.
R: 3 / I: 2
Working in dementia wards and retirement homes, I've come to wonder if an increased life expectancy is not necessarily a good thing and we're just prolonging human suffering.

It seems like for most of history, if you had something wrong with you, you were quickly filtered off and didn't suffer too long. The congenitally sickly and disabled typically died early on as children, and if you got unwell in your 40s, 50s or 60s you typically died. Even things like Schizophrenia had a much shorter suffering period as you inevitably hurt yourself and got an infection, now schizos are kept alive until they die in their 50s or 60s.

Could it be that modern society has it wrong and having a leaner, meaner filter keeps the population fit and healthy? It seems like the burden of wah wah existentialism comes from living too long as well, as the whole literary movement is correlated with life expectancy starting to rise in Europe.
R: 7 / I: 2
There's nothing to do. Nobody to talk to. Nothing to experience in my prison-neighbourhood. I live in a multi dimensional prison and I'm slowly going insane. This thread will die while some faggot self improvement/coomer thread will hit bump limit.

Just share personal stories and feels in this thread I guess.
R: 127 / I: 23
You see, I am what people call a waifufag, a genuine one. I fell in love with a loli from a very obscure edgy manga made in 2012 and finished in 2015.

I discovered her in 2022, and the few months we were together were genuine, the happiest in life, not even kidding, but then I made a fatal mistake, you see, because I was an insecure purityfag and wanted to know if she was a virgin because a lot of succubi in her manga have been either raped or sexually abused, but she is an exception. She gets stabbed, whipped, and beaten by her boss, who is like Stepbrother. 

I asked the author if she was a virgin, and he said no, and then I asked why she was not a virgin, and he simply said yes.

This comment, single-handed, destroyed me and made me fall into despair through the entire half of 2022 and the entire 2023, and now 2024, I really can't let go of it.
R: 142 / I: 16

Why do you act like a woman?

You always make threads of "I will never be pretty enough", "I will never have a job because I am ugly", "I am horrible :(". Everything related to physical appearance, and complexes. The truth is already unpleasant, and pathetic that men , and especially chaste men, give importance to something as trivial as appearance.
R: 17 / I: 2
I'm a deformed freak with this condition, I never even got braces. And now, because I didn't look after my teeth, my entire right side is sitting on two teeth.

I have no money and a few years I'll have my jaw entirely sink in, and be struggling to breathe. I may as well kill myself for being such a deformed freak.

I don't even care about the looks, I just want to feel healthy in my face. I'm a fucking living pug dog but in human form.

I tell people I'm deformed, I'm fucked up, it's not worth it. And they just tell me people deal with worse, that I have to learn to cope with it. But I genuinely don't want to, I'm at the point where I'd rather not exist than exist like this.

I'm going to talk about surgeries and treatments for this.
R: 313 / I: 32

Suicide General - Long Cold Sleep

Suicide general, - Discuss everything suicide related here.
R: 34 / I: 2

title

I wasted my youth locked up, and with the screen as the only company. it's not something I wanted or chose, but that's how things were. I knew I could never make up for lost time, and I thought that by sorting out my financial life and earning a lifetime income at an early age, I could achieve freedom and live once and for all.
I started this when I was 16, it was supposed to be a 5 year plan, investing, and saving everything. Now that time has passed and I have 3 months to go before turning 22, I was unable to achieve my goals. I only got a third of the way to achieve them due to my indiscipline. I have the ability and the means to be a great businessman, but the determination and discipline of a child.

The sad part is that you realize that the most important capital is not in the land, money or a vehicle, a man's most important capital is his knowledge, something I don't have, living in agonizing ignorance. There really is no better feeling than coming home with a wad of cash, and seeing your entire house slowly fill up with boxes and more boxes. When you see what you have built, And even though in reality everything remains the same, there is a really nice feeling of growth.
R: 59 / I: 5

it's better to stay at home in your room

Back in High School I tried to cope with doing hobbies outside, to participate in normalfag activities because I wanted to at least give the bluepilled advice a go, I knew in the back of my mind it would not work and to nobody's surprise, the expectations are exactly what occurred, it resulted in nothing but utter humiliation. I played for a football academy back in High School and whilst I was decent at it I was treated poorly by my teammates, did not make a single friend there even though I contributed a lot to the stats of the team, we even made it very far into the tournament, after that incident I was discouraged to make friends because no matter how much meritocratic value is under your hands you are worthless to everyone, unless you're a prodigy your efforts are worthless.

Going outside has not improved my health but only worsen it, it has done the opposite effect, it makes me feel more worthless, more worse overall, a complete abomination, it reminds me of what I look like which is the opposite of what I'm trying to achieve. If you're an ugly midget subhuman like me then don't go outside and if you have to then try to limit it as much as possible because other people will remind you of your own flaws.

For ugly midgets like me, I think it's better to stay home and play video games. Don't go outside unless you have to. Make sure all of your hobbies are in solitude, experience surreal dimensions through novels, animes and video games. Outdoor hobbies can be selectively chosen, ones that don't include many people, walk through national parks in those isolating tracks because not much people are there, it's a great cope to view nature as a wiz. If you have the privilege, then work remote or at least hybrid, if you can't do this then get into a field of work that requires a limited interaction of others, if you are even more privileged then NEET but I would not suggest this as its damaging to your health in the long run.

There's no point going to malls, restaurants or visiting popular tourist sites like the Eiffel tower, it is super damaging to your brain being in places surrounded by normalfags. Just watch the YouTube video of it or visit the Minecraft version.
R: 17 / I: 1

Family feels entitled to respect without giving it

Those in the older, successful and beloved part of the family seems to demand respect from those "beneath" them.
Yet they feel no need to respect anyone and blatantly disrespect and violate boundaries.
However, if you dare to return this behavior in kind, they will act like you are the one in the wrong.

Your sibling keeps pranking and annoy you, tell them you had enough, everyone just dismiss you telling you to learn to take a joke. Eventually when you snap and beat your sibling. Your parents will lecture you how this is not an acceptable response to someone merely pranking you, completely dismissing that this response was provoked. Then force you to apologize to the one provoking you!

Your parents berate you for failing the first year of uni, they even suggest that maybe you just too dumb and should dropout. You retort with that you don't care about the opinions of some high school dropouts and they can shove their opinions up their asses. You get told you have a horrible attitude, if you keep this up no one will bother to criticize and steer you in the right direction in the future.

I don't care what they think, if they won't respect me, I won't respect them. Who needs their dumb advice anyway? I can figure things out on my own. If they can berate and call you names, you can do the same thing to them.
R: 15 / I: 14

oekaki therapy

If you're feeling unhappy or down or depressed, come to this thread and draw an oekaki
some will remember the last oekaki threads 2-3 years ago made by me, here's a new one haha
R: 3 / I: 0

Pattern Recognition Central

What do you think is their plan with recents studies and articles showcasing the way men are starting to approach succubi less? Besides obviously adding fuel to the fire to the gender war between normalniggers, how far does it go? Is monkeypox involved in all of this? Creating awareness of single men at the same time a sexually transmited disease appears? Set things up to re-establish a lesser version of homophobia to keep an eye on non-compliant normies? What are its intended purposes, and, how long will it take them to finally mention in mainstream media sexual demoralization being the cause of degeneracy altogether? I personally believe they have a long way to go, two years or so before they start to quote current statistics and connect the dots.
R: 13 / I: 1

How do you deal with the meaninglessness?

If you have absolutely nothing to strive for, no goal to work towards, no future you can imagine yourself in. If you know that you will never get anything you desire and that you will never be happy or fulfilled.
How is anyone expected to function like this? I can't kill myself because I don't have the balls. So I still have to work and go through life. But how?

Some people have different ways to cope with their situation, but I don't have any. One of the most powerful copes seems to be religion, but I simply can't believe. I know it's all made up and can't convince myself otherwise.
R: 23 / I: 2

Sucide with no revenge

I'm genuinely asking to understand the mindset of a person who solely seek death
R: 7 / I: 2
These gentile doctors take your wisdom teeth so you can't support your jaw properly and will be unable to connect your tongue to the roof of your mouth and nasally breathe. I'm walking around with a spoon in my mouth cause of these fucking rats. Didn't even know until I started practicing Hatha yoga. Roundhouse kick your local oral surgeon. This is why you're depressed because you're always looking down and are unable to lift your body upwards properly. Humans aren't designed to breathe orally. These fucking rats man. The things I've had to do to survive. Shocked.
R: 11 / I: 0

Depressing surroundings

I'm too poor to get a bigger apartment or home and nice furniture, so I'm stuck in a very small apartment that only has a tiny room and a bathroom.

Is anyone else getting depressed by their lame surroundings?
Before anyone tells me to get a job, I already work minimum wage.
R: 8 / I: 0
Since 2 weeks I feel small discomfort while swallowing, like there is something in there. At first I ignored it it doesn't go away. I made an appointment with doctor and now I scared shitless it's a throat cancer. I am mostly worried about my parents, they don't have anyone else beside me. I really hope it's nothing and I am just panicking.
R: 17 / I: 2

abortion\contraception and euthanasia cults

Is it true that there are -and they prey on "pro suicide" websites, etc- cults devoted to culling the human population, or promoting promortalism ,efilism, and anti-natalism? Cults that disseminate materials on infanticide (abortion) , peaceful pill, anti-life "ethical solutions" etc? I didn't read about this anywhere, I just had a kind of telepathic info about it.
Do you wizzos who frequent pro-unaliving spaces know anything about this?
R: 211 / I: 35

Death of the Uncool

Death of the Uncool - End of the Wizards V

Watching Geekdom get absorbed into the monoculture over the last decade (and then some) has been a pretty demoralising experience.

Part of the process of commodification, streamlining and assimilation of geek culture into the all-consuming monoculture, is distortion and erasure of the original.

"These would be the successive phases of the image:

1 It is the reflection of a basic reality.

2 It masks and perverts a basic reality.

3 It masks the absence of a basic reality.

4 It bears no relation to any reality whatever: it is its own pure simulacrum.

In the first case, the image is a good appearance: the representation is of the order of sacrament. In the second, it is an evil appearance: of the order of malefice. In the third, it plays at being an appearance: it is of the order of sorcery. In the fourth, it is no longer in the order of appearance at all, but of simulation."

I'm probably using Baudrillard wrong, but I think we're either between phase 2 and 3 or on phase 3. We're at the point where we have "gamers" who don't like videogames as the faces of videogames.
R: 10 / I: 1

online memorials\obituaries depress me

Is anyone else hugely depressed by this stuff? Sometimes I'm googling for certain stuff, or info on a historical person or event…and very often I see obituary pages of people with the same name.Very old, young, middle-aged..died of diseases, accident or just old age, sometimes due to violence or crime.
I get similar feels when I see a specific documentary from a crisis (economic, social) of my county 20 years ago- where are the poor people featured in the docu, nowadays? and the rich old guys are probably dead or dying in some ICU room by now.What was the point of it all?..The other week I visited a public university because the cafeteria has cheap snacks and I reckon I passed by 2000 people-I cant fathom those are REAL persons, with dreams and sins and will die ,perhaps 20 or 50 will be dead within 3 years.
R: 12 / I: 1

Getting Off This Merry-Go-Round

26 is were I get off. sorry I couldn't make it to 30 and join you in the sun. Just to tiered of the pain. I should have done it sooner but I'm a coward. I would have done it last year but my nerves got in the way. Just need to write the rest of my will and donate the rest of my clothes to charity and I'll be good to go.

>end of blog post
R: 31 / I: 6

The process of Learning as a Lazy Bum

>why cant picrel be real?
I really fucking hate learning how computers work. I fucking hate it.
Ever since I started this fucking degree 3 years ago its been nothing but a perpetual torture. I think I say enough when I say shit like Calculus or Lineal Algebra was 100 times more enjoyable for me than anything related to computer science. I gotta be honest though: I m a lazy piece of shit, but I m the kind of lazy piece of shit who studies solely so I dont have to be at the end of the fucking semester doing a fucking "final exam", in order to prove that I m able to pass the course, because that means I gotta learn all the semester's subjects just so I can pass that stupid fucking piece of shit of an exam.

I hate studying. I hate learning. I hate the smugness, shit teaching and the attitude most teachers have and I hate the happiness and eagerness of the people surrounding me. I hate the idea of working and having to wake up every morning so I can keep my sorry ass alive.
I m aware that being a NEET is a dead-end road, specially when you are not on welfare, but I cant stop feeling like a sack of shit every god damn day of my life because of this. I know what has to be done and what I have to do if I dont do it.

I have nothing to look forward to in my life. The sole reason I havent killed myself is because I know my parents would probably die because of that (already have 1 deceased sibling, and the other one aint doing to well in life), and also because I cant bring myself to do it. It terrifies me. I have no access to guns, so the only way would be to jump off a building, but regardless of it, the idea of death, or the idea of "pain of death", is the thing that bugs me the most. I dont want to suffer the ultimate pain that may last minutes! Even if they are just a few seconds, I bet the pain will feel like an eternity, not to mention the fear I will experience during the fall.

Yet I m sick of this shit. I m stuck here. Why the fuck am I subject to all of this? Why the fuck was I brought to this world? Why cant I have the drive or ambition that those maggots sons of bitches of my peers have? Why must I be such an unhappy piece of shit?

Of course, I know many of the answers to those questions, but still. It doesnt deprive me from wanting to create a hole through my wall from the mere anger of having to deal with this bullshit. Why cant I just be left alone in my room? What place in the world exists, besides living under a bridge, for good-for-nothing lazy scum like me?
R: 123 / I: 11

How do we get used to it?

How are we supposed to get used to loneliness and the fact that our life is fucked up?
Here's my resume: never had any friends, bullied during school, uni dropout but basically never went to high school, very poor (no income), obviously never had any gf, the last time I talked someone my age was since high school basically. I can't get used to the loneliness… I also have a very poor health, and no one to help me with it.

What's your life status and how do you cope with it?

I personally try to cope with video games, anime and a bit of drug (alcohol and opioid mostly). But that hardly works… Sometimes I'm into my game or I'm high enough to be ok, but most of the time I'm depressed or suffering or both. I wish I were dead since I'm 12, I'm 25 now.
R: 336 / I: 31

Depression Crawl Thread LXV

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
Previous: >>290006
R: 15 / I: 1
why dont things ever seem to get any better? they only seem to spiral more out of control and worse.

if you were born to as fucked up as a family as i was, you never had a chance.
R: 1 / I: 0

Remember!

Remember wizzies: there are all sorts of impostors here promoting suicide for wizards. They give themselves out as wizards but are not. They continually lurk discussions on this board and others pertaining to self-murder in the strict interest of getting us to go through with our own elimination. Sometimes they start a whole new thread and stage an organic-looking pro-suicide conversation amongst themselves. It is known that this site is "/pol/ adjacent" so many of (((them))) are here as well with such objectives in mind. Be advised.
R: 158 / I: 6

I hate rich or wealthy wizards

I hate wizards who got substantial inheritances, or lucked out otherwise while being unable to work. 99,9% of the problems related to being a wizard are related to a lack of money and the fact normies hate even employing a non-neurotypical, making life an infinite paywall torture simulator where you can only look but not touch anything.

My life would completely transform if I even had 10k dollars to my name. Yet there are wizards who inherited an expensive big house and hundreds of thousands of euros or dollars.

They cannot sympathize with someone who is in a perpetual cycle of shit tier labor->pay absolute necessities->have maybe $20 extra at the end of the month-> repeat infinitely…

Because they play life on heaven mode where everything is unlocked and stress levels go down by 99%.
R: 4 / I: 1

Don't play with fire or you'll end up burned.

Don't play with fire or you'll burn yourself, don't get close to it or you'll burn yourself, if you shouldn't use it, don't even use it for cooking.
I am a crazy man who did and does terrible things, but that does not take away the great appreciation I have for myself. A long time ago I learned not only to accept the worst in myself, but to accept it as one of the few ways I have to feel alive again, But if I am honest with you, I have no alternative, no matter how despicable I may be, benevolence and forgiveness are present, Since there is no one else, there is only me, and although I constantly complain about the isolation to which I was subjected, the truth is that I think that without it I would never be able to have so much appreciation for this beautiful monster.
R: 29 / I: 3
>23
>deformed eyes since childhood
>indian
>dark brown acne ridden skin
>autistic
>only redeeming quality is being 192 cm in height(at least that made me safe from being seen as a punchable pathetic maggot by normies, I would haveprobably roped sooner if I was short.). (Not hating based shortcels, I cannot experience it but understand that there is suffering)

It's been 23 years in this earth without touching succubi bros. When do I get my wizard powers.
R: 113 / I: 1
I relate a lot with old inc_els because most of them don't even want relationships anymore, they've accepted that past a certain point there is no coming back, once you've spent your entire life bullied and ostracized and mocked for how you look or being introverted and entered adult age not knowing real friendships or love from parents, there is really no rainbow in the dark or light at the end of the tunnel.

Your personality is shaped, your memories are painful so you want to erase the past or pretend that it didn't happen, you are like an abused and neglected kid who starts to sweat and becoming increasingly anxious as the time to go back from work for his dad approaches.

Lot of pain and trauma. You are better off alone at that point, engaging in hobbies, distracted with work or in some fantasy world.

There is no cure.

You can't even relate or feel an attachment for this world and what it has to offer. You are almost prepared to leave and don't care. How can you care when you carry a broken soul within you.

There is no return because the place you left was doomed to be hell for you, from the very beginning and you know it's best once you accept that it wasn't your fault and stop blaming yourself. What can you do when you are born a wiz.

Society doesn't care. You've been left alone.
R: 60 / I: 6

The menace of the human female

Why are there female apologists here, on the only website dedicated to wizardly endeavors, the only place on the internet that defends and respects male celibacy of all places?

Females are the origin of all our suffering and all the suffering of the collective human race, proven by the irrefutable fact of their unique role as stinky fuck holes that shit out children for their personal selfish enjoyment, desire, status and primal urge.

To them in their self serving justification, children should be grateful, but in reality females have to carefully conceal their sadistic, uncaring and casual indifference in their role of throwing a baby into this evil society to be logs of worthless shit, helplessly abused, used up and treated like disposable trash to be thrown away once they no longer have value.

Females are the bane of all wizardly existence, the origin of all wizardly suffering, the origin and the beginning of unquenchable wizardly desires, the dawning existence of the humble unsuspecting wizkids with aspirations of deserving their fair share of basic wizlet happiness.

Wizkids are naturally pure, innocent, busy with wizardly endeavors, wand enjoyers who love to conjure magic in their rooms, some evolving into wizardly figures recognized as a lively house ornament with unending loyalty and as a silent background figure always providing company for the house occupants to stave off their feelings of loneliness, some wizzies composting and blossoming into wise loyal hermit oracles, some a cared for sheltered recluse that has invaluable wizardly virtues. Some having to partake in the dog eat dog normalfag world of cliqued up social hierarchies all orbiting around female gynocentric pussy worship. The wizkid is a rare treasure in the modern world and must be protected.

The wizkid serves as a naturally innocent benevolent force of objective moral good, the entire existence of the wizkid stands in complete contrast to the naturally wicked existence of the human female, creatures that are unashamed in their sadistic self serving primitive impulses, unashamed in their vile intentions to scheme, lie, cheat, manipulate and swindle, but are instinctually smart enough to keep it hidden deep within, but eventually the infectious bio-waste that fills their souls leaks out in subtle almost unnoticeable slip ups that stupefies you into disbelief witnessing their casual cruel intentions. Once you finally learn how to notice the almost unbelievable rotten nature of the female soul, you can feel it constantly radiating from them whenever you're in their presence and you can't help but feel disgusted all the time by their noticeable innate genetic impulses that define their whole repugnant being, a detestable shallow existence that is worshipped endlessly by every institution, worshipped endlessly by society despite being useless ungrateful demonic goblins.

Simps, get off my board!
R: 36 / I: 1

Disadvantage if not social

This is probably not big news, but you have much worse chances of getting anything done in life if you are not social. From jobs, to housing, to money. If you are trying to do everything alone, you will not be as successful. Except you have a godlike family and upbringing. But I suppose nobody here had this.
R: 142 / I: 6

being bald feels like a death sentence

I've been on finasteride for 2 years and I just lost my job and had to move back with my parents and I noticed that my hairline is receding it looks bad, my hair is thinning too, even the back and sides are thinning so I will never be able to get a hair transplant. I've always been anxious about going bald because I have a really bad head shape and I just don't look good without hair, or well, i look worse than with full head of hair.
Balding young is fucking brutal and I don't feel like wearing a fedora or beanies it will make it all more obvious, i feel a pain in my chest and all this stress is causing me to lose more and more hair im in my early 20s but i look now like my male relatives who are full in their 50s.
I can't hide it and I don't want to be that bald guy everyone mocks.
Why it had to be me, wizards? I'm short and now balding, fucking life sucks and did nothing to deserve this.
R: 22 / I: 0

How do you deal with being one of the sexless?

I was at work and had to just fucking sit there and listen to this guy go on and on about how succubi constantly hit him up and fucked him. I normally don't react to this kind of stuff. But then he showed video after video after video and it eventually got to me. This fuck is the same age as me but his life just seemed so much easier. I legitimately didn't understand what it's like to have a fucking succubus text you. Want to see you. He even said "You're not ugly. How?" I just didn't have an answer. I just live with the cope that some people just have it easier and others like myself emit and anti succubus field. I am happier the further away from sex and relationship shit I hear. Normally I can just live around it and it doesn't bother me. This time was different some how. What the fuck.
R: 7 / I: 1

Aquél

Imagine having abstinence from fap, from the screen, without social contact of any kind, just you and your thoughts. You can last an hour maybe a little more looking at the ceiling, you can bathe for another hour, read for a couple more hours, but what the hell do you do during the remaining hours, one can try to talk to a family member, but when they don't want to talk With you, there is not much that can be done, you can try to go for a walk, but when you realize that you have nowhere to go, what to do, or who to be with, when you realize that you have been wandering for 6 hours all over the city, without finding anything but desolation and hopelessness, there you realize the depth of the hole you are in, and how difficult it is to get out of it.

It's as if I had been blind for a long time, and suddenly I can see, at first there is unbearable pain, but as the days go by it stops, and there comes a moment when you realize how beautiful and terrifying it is. . what is life
R: 29 / I: 11

Sucidie tips

I went to a forest today to try to slice my veins but to my surprise it's harder than I expected, I'm looking for ways to and it in a relatively painless way. I'm afraid to do online research since everything is very monitored because of the AI craze and 8chan/hispachan have apparently closed. I didn't want to post on 4chan because AFAIK it's filled with garbage to the brim and has gone too mainstream. I don't know if talking about this on hackernews with a throwaway account would be a good idea

Anyways, I have considered inhaling nitrogen in some forest or trying to find cyanide. I think you can buy it but only in very high quantities, I don't want that much. Other ways of suicide like jumping off a bridge or taking a lot of paracetamol don't really fit with me, I don't really want to destroy my body, I'm accepting suggestions

Also, I haven't been going to therapy for the last months becaus eI feel like it's stupid and useless, does that happen to other people as well?
R: 4 / I: 0

reflection on normality.

I always hated the ordinary, a miserable and poorly paid job, cheap entertainment through a stupid screen. A life where fun and pleasure is in alcohol, pornography, where individuals cannot spend a minute without noise, whether it is music, a video, series or movie, where the fear of silence is scary. Where stupid things like height, the size of attributes, facial features are present, as if men were succubi. Where they put up with other people's shit just so they wouldn't be alone. Where individuals stop thinking and voluntarily attach themselves to other people's thoughts and ideas without having their own thoughts.

This cancer is visible, and it spreads everywhere.
R: 41 / I: 1
Life is wonderful, and although it is not always full of opportunities, nor the best people, we can create our own opportunities, and improve ourselves as human beings.
R: 32 / I: 1

Advice for younger men with autism

Older wizzie here, I spend a good decade on psych meds and constantly trying to work past my autism. It doesn't work, here's some advice for you high functioning spergs that are suffering.

1. Make dealings with the fact you'll never have a wife, girlfriend and children, and psychologically accept it. The crab blackpill stuff with autism is 100% correct, it is harder for us than someone with schizophrenia. I'm someone tall and good looking enough to be asked out by succubi in the past, but it doesn't work out as they ghost you the second they work out what you are.

2. If you have to socialize, socialize with old people. They're more forgiving than younger normalfags. Retirement homes advertise chatting and talking to the elderly, if you need to get your social fix in, you could easily sate the urge with that. They won't be mean to you and they'll be desperate for your company. If you're an extroverted aspie who needs socialization, have a grandma/grandpa or two you go and see every second day. You will absolutely make their day, and you'll be able to talk to someone in a safe environment.

3. Get offline. Computer addiction destroys aspies, and we're susceptible to porn addiction and absolutely depraved coomery. If you're NEETing you can easily spend 12+ hours a day doomscrolling. We're all trannying out at rapid rates because we're susceptible to that brainrot.

4. A part time job where you work alone is preferable to NEETdom. But make sure it is alone, you must always find work where you're alone. You will be victimized because of your condition in hyper-social normie workplaces, guaranteed. Even if you weren't at school, you will be at work. Autists are typically fine at school but suffer at work to the point where 85% of us live on NEETbux.

5. Understand that there's nothing in the normalfag life that will actually make you happy. I did it all, I pushed myself to the limits trying to suppress and overcome my autism. I lived a life that for a while could be considered normie. It will not satisfy you and it won't make you happy. Find a healthy routine and stick to it.

6. Kacazynski-maxx if you can. If you can live in the countryside with a bit of land, do it. Having a small garden, going fishing, being in nature and having a dog will make you pretty happy by yourself. I was my happiest the less I used screens and the more outdoors I was.
R: 3 / I: 1
Your virginity is a tremendeous and powerful gift from God which keeps the heart pure. If you pray to God and ask him he will guide you to a succubus thats right for you if thats meant for you
R: 15 / I: 0

let me be sad

I had been sad and discouraged for 3 weeks, today I went out to the park and I feel very happy. It reminded me that not everything is lost, I can still write a better future, and change my life.
R: 10 / I: 0

Are some people better off dead

I don't like who I am genetically. I'm ugly, stupid, worthless, mentally ill and most people don't want anything to do with me. But are they right? Surely there's a reason behind that. It's probably because my reproduction would be really bad for the world. So I am viewed the way I'm viewed and treated the way I'm treated. So I can't even blame them. Right? I have no redeeming qualities. There is simply nothing good about me. I wish I ended everything in elementary school or even kindergarten. I wouldn't have experienced this life. When I die I hope nothing about me is remembered. I wish I left absolutely no trace in the world, but sadly I did
R: 44 / I: 12
I used to cut myself but my parents forced me to stop.

Now I make maps to keep myself from committing suicide.

What do you guys do
R: 8 / I: 1
What are your thoughts on the concept of missing out?

Because of depression and anxiety I spent most of my life in my room doing the same shit every day. I don't challenge myself with new experiences. I eat the same bland food every day. Sometimes I will see what's out there and I feel the pain of all the missed out experiences. But is it a real pain or imagined? After all no matter what you are always missing out on something as you can only be in one place at a time and even if you are busy 24/7 there is way more to life than you can experience in a lifetime. You could say that I can't regret the past because I did the best I was capable of at that time but I feel like a lot of the resistance to new things is more in my head and once I break the routine the pain is gone. Like starting a new video game instead of playing the same online game again takes willpower at first but once I am playing it I'm having fun and wondering why I didn't do it sooner.
R: 6 / I: 1

Dead man

Before I had dreams, hopes, and worked for a better future. Maybe not in the best way, nor in the most constant way possible, but I had it, it made me happy, it made me move, and be someone better. Now I don't have dreams, I'm a lost cannon, and it's really sad, knowing that you can't fight for your dreams, since there is nothing to fight for.
Although sometimes I would like to see how far I can go, without internet, without a computer, focusing on books, business, walks, and similar things, but I feel that I am not very strong, and that bad emotions will end up attacking.
R: 2 / I: 0

Empty World

even if I was an anhiliationist(someone who believes there is "nothing" after (??) death) ,I would still have as my most cherished desire and wish in life to live on an Empty World. no animals, no humans..no internet . just plant life, trees, maybe shells and minerals…fungi, algae, all sorts of roots and moss and so on. People might deride this an escapist fantasy, or a survival game LARP but I believe the empty world, a mirror planet, is real and exists.
If I go there, I will stay there till I die.
R: 1 / I: 1

Hikikomori in

I am not a god damn invalid. I am a bit of a potato. A latently suicidal potato with surgery to be frank. Not a serially violent person like their crush. I read between the lines with scientific process and lost myself and most of it all to the system. I know shit you only learn in university lectures that I inferred myself with the help of trade of goods and books. Invalid patient too, leucotomized to be a valid. My mind revolves around acquisition of self desire. I self harm of carnal needs like safety and excitement and food when threatened. I hate to be driven to the brink and ultimately wealth circumvents and is a primary goal, as a suicide patient. The bin is where you do 20 thorazine shots and possibly die by the way. They used to take me there. Obviously, avoidance of displeasure and dismay dominates my thought and motus now. I don't do sherm or anything anymore. I see a net loss of control each consecutive high. Lacking rationality towards societal attitude toward suicide is specifically what makes me avoid the system now. I also won't do drugs because I get "treatment" with an icepick and a home alone doctor that is so shady I beat my chest 5 times. And was told I would die. And received humiliation. No, I'm not retarded even. Retards get to rape. I get to live. I lack and am missing a component of idealistic life like simple normalcy often at home, there I am in danger. Society has alienated me completely for it all. The drunken outbursts drive me on the ropes. I know better than to drink but I can't stop. I am the world's biggest fuckin prisonbird wannabe genius idiot. I don't hate my lot in life still , but wards never brought me what I wanted, I found drugs and misery there with a dash of hope. I really hate it there more than anything. Not my kin, half of them are evil and mental monkeys. Needless to say, I hate numb mental ward doctors SO much. Get off drugs. Can anyone relate?
R: 5 / I: 1

against work

No job out there seems good enough for a wiz. I know there is security/janitor mentioned around but you still have to interact with people. WFH work from home requires you to pass video interviews and be ok with being videotaped in your home as you work. Seems like there is no way out of this situation besides a bullet to the head.
R: 9 / I: 0

Dear Diary

I have no one to talk to, I have no one to share anything with. I realized that the only company I have is myself. Even so, I think that the real problem with isolation is not so much the isolation itself, but thinking that there is more of it, you will find something better.
R: 5 / I: 2

f.a.m

Today in high school the same thing always happened to me, the idiots from 4th grade came to hurt me, why? Because I told one of them to go to hell because I didn't want to talk to them, they dragged me to the corner of the high school garden and threw a rock at my head, kicked me and left. , at least they only did that to me and didn't stab me I guess.

Why are people like this, then they ask themselves "AYYY WHY MY SON KILLED SUICIDE" SO WHAT? Did you think anyone can handle that? Then the typical "it's just that you're very quiet" comes. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THAT FOR SAYING THEY LEAVE ME ALONE, THEY LEAVE ME KNOCKED OUT, AND FOR MARCOS ORLAN AND COMPANY THEY ARE GOING TO LICK MY EGGS ONE OF THESE DAY, they are always treating me It's weird mmmmhhh why is it, nah it's not because they exclude me always and when I try to be myself they tell me "you're a fucking bitter person" ah I'm sorry for not being a fucking 15 year old teenager who looks like he's 8 years old. Hey look, he's crying, let's not do anything :D. Fuck everyone from my high school.
R: 13 / I: 0
Hey Wizards!

I would like to discuss my situation with you…. 3 weeks ago I lost my shitty job and now I am a NEET. I'm 22 years old but I'm not considering trying to get into University because I'm low income plus several of my friends just graduated . I would like to be a programmer but I don't have a computer to program.

I post here because I have nowhere else to go, it hurts me that outside of here I can't express myself, if I could just say what I think I would feel free but I will probably end up getting beaten up because I respond in a very aggressive way so I have no choice but to write in this internet memoir and no one will have any fucking idea who wrote it.
R: 15 / I: 6

/dep/-suited music

Searched in the board, didn't find a thread for /dep/-suited type of music unless I am terminally retarded.

So I figure out, let's make some thread about cool music you like to listen to when you feel like a human, like things are going like shit for you. Personally, I sometimes listen darkwave, sometimes russian post-punk, sometimes death or black metal, sometimes maidcore (ew, troons, good music though) also but not sure if it still fits the depression theme that much so i'll limit myself to darkwave unless given approval. Since I data-hoard a lot of shit on an usual basis, i'll post files directly, that way you won't have to use normietube either, i'll limit myself to one file per message for the sake of it being more convenient.

Hopefully it makes you feel better, to the Anon reading.

Also I got fucking attacked by a mosquito, fuck summer, lul.
R: 18 / I: 1

The main difference between third world and first world countries

Most parents in the west who aren't complete junkies or obese hillbillies, treat their kids like scions of their family who deserve all the best things in life, good education, good safe surroundings, high quality food, books, good parenting, vacations etc.

But in third world countries, there is an animalistic undertone to raising children. They are mostly just a nuisance and labour source. Nobody cares whether the kid is happy or not, or whether they receive a high quality upbringing or not. Everyone is just trying to survive.
5 out of 7 kids died due to disease or easily preventable mineral deficiencies?
Oh well. Not a much bigger deal than the adopted family stray dog dying out of malnutrition.

There is no higher thought involved, no planning for the future, no setting up a dynasty to last for centuries and ensure the family line goes on and does well in society.
No, there is just animalistic survival where nobody gives a shit how the kid is doing. They are just an annoying byproduct of sex, which the parents had unprotected because that's the only entertainment they can afford.

I hate being born into a third world country. All my peers are fuckups as well because not only are their parents dumb, they didn't raise them at all. They had to fend for themselves and figure stuff out alone. The parents are completely useless illiterate animals.
R: 43 / I: 5

racist makes you feel like shit

have you ever faced racism towards you or a relative you were with?
It hurts and you don't know how to respond and you feel weak.
how fo I be more confident and less vulnerable when someone says something racist or some contemptuous words they tell to you.
they make you feel like shit and be aware of responding to them they will sperg out like a down syndrome being
R: 3 / I: 0
Are you afraid of a situation where people assume that you are following them when you happen to walk in the same direction? I know I am.
R: 8 / I: 0
I don't get why God doesn't punish people who have defective kids or ruin their bloodline by reproducing with someone inferior. I don't mean in terms of money or status, but nobility, spiritual nobility and maybe a bit of beauty. How they ruin an innocent soul that didn't ask to be born, to be limited by subhuman blood and ugliness. How their children are cursed to be defective. I get no one is perfect, but there is a difference between abomination and imperfection. People who actively ruin bloodlines deserve eternal punishment in the worst way possible.
R: 3 / I: 1
Human design disgusts me, there is no beauty left outside of "being attractive" foids replicate this curse, soulless attraction that appeals to primitive desire. And I'm sick of it. I long for a meteorite to wipe out humanity for good. Humanity is ugly and is restricting ethereal divinity.
R: 14 / I: 0

The depressive is selfish by nature

The depressed person does not care about their family, they do not care about their friends, they do not care about the injustices of the world, or anything other than their problems, where they lock themselves up, and constantly victimize their problems. Depression is a disease of selfishness, and its cure does not lie in stupid things like medications, playing sports, having a job or studying. Of course, this helps the patient, but it does not attack the root problem, and it can never go away. his self-fixation towards his life and his problems. That's why the only way to really deal with this is by helping others, getting out of yourself, and focusing on others, so that within the happiness of others you can find your own happiness.
R: 10 / I: 1
I decided to end it… even how i want to do it but now when it's decided i feel fear and what will await me on the other side. Has someone advices?
R: 11 / I: 1

The suicide hotline is useless and can ruin your life

Called the hotline. Was in a bad way mentally but clear enough to call. I needed somebody to talk to. Instead they made me feel like an idiot and sent the cops and medics to my home.

They then kicked in my front door without knocking, dragged me out to the medics and put me in the ambulance. The entire ride the medics just sat there looking at me as though I was wasting their time (which I guess I was seeing how I just wanted to talk to somebody).

In the end I still felt like shit, had an SI label on myedical record (which raised my insurance rates) and a $3500 hospital bill. Fuck the suicide hotline.
To this day I can't even get life insurance because the premiums are so insane. That night I needed help. I did NOT get help. All I got was a harder life.

The world is a hell planet, there is no escape except legal euthanasia. Most homebrew methods of killing yourself often fail and just turn you into a vegetable who then has to passively watch life in tubes for 50+ years which is even worse.
R: 8 / I: 1

advice about depression

teenager here. im here because i wanted to ask how to forget someone and just move on with it. do you guys just pretend like it never happened or feel sad over it until it doesnt make you feel anything anymore. i came here because people here are almost the only people i relate. i appriciate every advice or personal stories.
R: 0 / I: 0

road to bottom of hell

(The theory behind my proyect is Tantric, to "find purity in the filthiest")
If I wanted to be as degenerate as possible, without being effeminate- so , no trooning out or becoming a gooner- what should I do? whom to associate with, where to go, what clubs or venues to join? I think of : going to a far-left fame public university, becoming a backpacker with a group of hippies, joining far-left political group of rich wiggers who LARP as victorian factory grunts, also joining punk ,black metal, hardcore and electronic music scenes…Going to slums and shanty towns with the leftist group or to buy drugs. Maybe even graffiti crew, or Vegan activism.
So: I will be extremely disciplined to be as degenerate as possible..Im willing to put quite the effort, time, resources and energy into it- as you may observe-
R: 13 / I: 2

Is it possible to live inside one's mind?

Is it possible for me to get rid of my ties to the physical world and live entirely in my own imagination? If I can do the bare minimum for survival (eating, drinking water, maintaining some weight) I think I should be able to do this. Has anyone here tried or done this before? I understand 100% that I'm a loser in life and I like my imagination much better than I like the physical world anyway. Not that I ever wanted to partake in society from a young age anyway. I'm not at all surprised I am where I am.

I want to imagine having a comfy PC setup in my apartment of solitude with boarded up windows where I can burn many CDs and DVDs and have fun on the internet. I already daydream a lot, but I would like to do this fulltime. I don't like that I can't do the things I can't and I don't like that I can't find a job because I am who I am. I already know where all the furniture are, I even know every part of the computer!

I think if my physical body could survive just enough for my brain to continue imagining without issues (for ex. too much grey matter buildup) I would be content with existence.
R: 12 / I: 2
atheist wizzies: what's stopping you from being as EVIL as possible for the sake of your own interests?
R: 3 / I: 1

Why is this world such a shithole?

First World Wizzes, get in here.
I just got off JewTube and other stupid news websites, only to find something about troubled teen industries.

I am a turdie, I generally look up to first world country and first world people for better life standards, but I've gotta ask you guys, seriously what the fuck is this? Like breaking into someone's house kidnapping a child. How in the fucking hell is this thing even legal?

How fucking common is this? This is repulsive even by normalfag standards. Like how come do people not straight up torch these places and burn them right to the ground? Are these things declining? Or have weird ChristCults only boosted them in the recent times.

Not gonna lie, this is worse than some of the shitholery that I have seen in my third world country, why does nobody do anything? Like all of you must have Child Protective Services and shiet, what the fuck do they do?
R: 21 / I: 0

Normies staring at you while you eat

Have you noticed this. I have, and I'm generally pretty mellow and don't really care if other people look at me.

Say I order takeout and decide to eat at the parking lot. People nearby will literally stare at me while I take every single bite instead of looking at their phone or nature.
It makes me uncomfortable and almost choke on food because it adds to my self-consciousness.

Or I go to a market that's open 24/7 to get some night snacks. When I walk home random people shout at me or call me a retard. I haven't looked at them or paid them any attention.
What is it about normies that they just have to make you feel uncomfortable foe no reason?

For this reason I try to avoid normies as much as possible but every now and then I step into one. I have even run into a scenario where I parked as far away from a McDonald's as possible, and some weirdo drove into the parking lot and parked right next to me. And they kept looking at me while I was eating.

I wish I was just paranoid, but it's really happening and I have no idea why.
R: 2 / I: 0
Are there any wizzies from El Cairo here? or any other "big name" Urban Hell? what's it like?
I think it's OCD paradise actually, specially being a taxi driver or UPS-style thing…
R: 36 / I: 6
sometimes, I feel like my heart is heavy and it make me very sad and feel uneasy. It also feels like a sharp object penetrating my heart. Or sometimes, I feel like I have a big hole in my chest (where the heart is located). and whenever I feel one of the three situations, my energy is drained and I feel awful and empty inside my upper body. anyone who feel the same way?
R: 1 / I: 0

Love is Insipid

Love must be deconstructed from its etymological meaning which if it stands in its original form we find out that it is merely only a means from other means in life that fuel our existance, Love is only a substitute mean that justifies our existance in life, Keeps us intact in life but still why is it a mean ? Because it justifies our desire for yearning, For desiring affection for "being loved is what it feels to be immortal", The melancholic hope of feeling that you exist which Love affirms to us in life, So it justifies the Endgoal which is also a means to defy the vast emptiness of life. A means of a means until our demise.

Love has been glamorized and romanticized into being an essential part of our lives, But the love we all talk about is "Relationship", and since many young adults seem to be illiterate and media stricken, They are mistakenly brainwashed into believing that a Relationship is the essential escape from their emptiness caused by Social media. Continuous unconditional Gratification from social media negates the ability to seek for better experiences in life, And the experience subjected to the younglings in our age as "relationship" seems to be the escape from the cycle.

The more days go by the more i realize Kant's absurd routine is justifiable but not all of it
R: 3 / I: 0

Why am I like this?

Ever since being a teenager I kept asking myself why am I me and wish to be someone else. I saw people who had rich parents, good looks, talent, intelligence… and I asked myself why is that not me? It broke me and made me unable to motivate myself to try achieve anything. It feels unfair having to compete against people who are just better than me genetically. Responsibility is crucial for growth but I can't fully accept responsibility because I feel like my personality is seperate from my being. Why do other people get to intuitively do the right thing and I have to use willpower to supervise myself? I often got into arguments with my parents and they were justified but instead of working on myself I would just cry "why am I like this?". Even now as I have to live the consequences of past mistakes like not taking care of my health, dropping out of college, not saving up money instead of learning the lesson and move forward I keep asking myself "what was I thinking?" and wish to go back in time.

For some reason I expect life to be a video game. I expect that I will naturally jump into action when it's the appropriate time and that everything will be waiting for me. But now as I get older I realize that if you are not proactive opportunities can pass by forever. There are no savepoints and nothing preventing you from getting "softlocked". I don't know why, as a non-religious person, I expect this emergent process called evolution to be tailor made for individual happiness. Maybe it's because I see others live seemingly ideal lives like from a movie. I also feel for others who are suffering and always feel bad for the losers in any competition.

Idk I just can't fully get immersed in life and think practically. I should think about getting a trade, eating healthy, going to the gym, get my health issues sorted out… but instead I keep wasting time daydreaming and with armchair philosophy.
R: 3 / I: 0

need some help pushing myself over the edge.

anyone close to the end who can give a little advice? i know i need to do this, i just can't bring myself to give up. I'm worried that i have some type of aimless hope to hang on to but i dont think it exists. how would you quickly flip the lightswitch?
R: 58 / I: 21

Death by chamber

I can not stand it anymore. I'm done. I don't know what to do. It's over for me. My whole will be shit and then I'd die and finally I'd be at peace.
When you think about your life, you must think the whole thing (your 40s, 50s, 60s, etc…). A thing that young people (29 and less) don't do.
secretly, your parents still believe in you. You just want to be cool. Are we posers?
R: 105 / I: 7

Coom defenders are wrong

This place is swarming lately with fools who still yearn about fapping being natural and good, probably demonic kwiifarmers who got bruised as hell by some random stuff here.

The userbase should really wake the F up, so these psychos rot even worse knowing we are not fall into ignorance about this.
R: 38 / I: 4
Do you think there are many Sadhu Ascetics in india whom are, actually, atheists? I don't mean famous godmen gurus whom are conning everyone and live rich, but the ones who are actually homeless beggars yet CHOSE that over normie modern life.
Be naked, sleep anywhere in the streets, explore the deepest wilderness, 0 work- beg for everything. No family attachments, you can learn martial arts or stand upright 24/7 for 10 years- extremely badass
Are there cases of this? if I was in India, I would drop out of all society and become a naked beggar, homeless ascetic.
R: 11 / I: 0

I feel sad for not being able to have a girlfriend

It's not because I don't have one, I'm someone attractive, empathetic, with good values, a great guy in general. But even so, I cannot and will not be able to have a partner, due to the fateful fact of the violence that I carry in my being, sometimes I don't know how it happens, or why, but it happens and there is no greater pain for me and above all for the other person when it happens. That's why I think that although a life in isolation is not the most pleasant, it really is not that bad, but possible acts must be avoided. But I would be lying to you if I told you that deep in my heart I have the gloomy hope that social norms and love would rise above these impulses.

I guess when a person can't fix their shit on their own they try to fantasize about having an outside entity do it for them. But this is my cross, and I'm going to have to carry it for the rest of my life, and although it would be great if there was some magic pill for this shit, sadly there isn't

Feel free to share your experience with anger and impulsivity.
R: 127 / I: 2
geniune question, why I can't enjoy video games anymore? do you have a theory or an answer on why one stop enjoying video games?
(I don't know if it's the good board to talk about it)
I believe it must be linked to my depression
R: 9 / I: 0
>ugly
>mom told me to get a hair cut because I'll look better
>Got it anyway to have an I told you so moment
>Hair cut finished
>She sees me
>She resisted the urge to laugh

Ahuh
R: 78 / I: 6

MittenSquad was a wizard all this time

Wiz was a mute all through school and made no friends because of his face

Wiz was depressed most of his life, never having the opportunity to live like the rest or be accepted by other humans

Wiz was bullied and rejected for his looks and developed depression

Wiz liked videogames because it did not involve other people who judged him and made him feel miserable

Wiz liked videogames so much that he created a youtube channel dedicated to it

Wiz youtube channel dedicated to videogames was a success(1 million subscribers)

but Wiz never showed his face

Wiz have no need to, Wiz was funny and people liked him

then one day

Wiz did a face reveal

Wiz thought the people who at one point rejected him for his face will now accept him for who he is with open arms, after all, they loved his personality…

Wiz was wrong and after the face reveal video the views decreased drastically and he became a meme

All this time, Wiz was drowning his sorrows and became an alcoholic to cope with his life

Wiz despite having success as a youtube guy still was depressed

so he developed pancreatitis as a result

and then

Wiz died

in his late 20s

like

a

True Wiz

He drank himself to death
R: 3 / I: 0
Are wizards my friends, or do I truly have nowhere to stay? Perhaps I'm not meant to be a wizard in a high tower in the lonely and calm mountains, but a hunched goblin in a damp and cold dungeon.
R: 8 / I: 1
Who or What causes your anger ?
When and where did it first originate?
Do you blame yourself for letting it happen?
R: 4 / I: 0

Why the fuck did I inherit my dad's need for attention.

I live for others expectations, for please others and I hate it. Times I think I change with the same dysgenic behavior to make people laugh, because that was my dad too. And no matter how many times I try to get rid of it, need for attention comes back. If I had the chance to remove my bloodline I would if it meant to wipe my identity from existence. It's god awful to have this shitty mind.
R: 15 / I: 2
Were some people just destined for an absolute shit life?
Having to listen to people who are optimistic regardless of the circumstances is maddening.
Would they say life is is a gift if one were locked in a basement being tortured from birth until adult hood?
R: 5 / I: 2
We don’t need normal fag approval we never did we will build thriving communities on our own achieve great things for the neurodivergent community we are the superior human but we don’t need to lord over Normal fags to be superior watch them Jill themselves and beg for solutions while we live in a utopia of our own making