R: 262 / I: 43
Previous: >>308343
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Depression Crawl Thread LXXVI
Another Evil under the Sun Edition. You of many.Previous: >>308343
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R: 10 / I: 1
Everybody stop whining, be men! Everything's going to be okay, you don't have it that bad, I say this as a hohol from the east (Kharkov region) who has way more problems than you
Everybody stop whining, be men! Everything's going to be okay, you don't have it that bad, I say this as a hohol from the east (Kharkov region) who has way more problems than you
R: 232 / I: 182
Sad Oekaki
whenever you're depressed or sad, come here and draw something using Oekaki. you can draw whatever you want
R: 42 / I: 5
Previous >>309794
Depression Crawl Thread LXXVII
Hesitation is defeat edition. There is no running away.Previous >>309794
R: 35 / I: 2
>Programming no longer makes sense
>But programming is the only thing I know to work
>not like i was ever good
>im actually bad
>I try to go back to leran programming the way I used to
>Spent an hour writing and debugging code only to give up in the end, only to have an AI do it better in 5 minutes with fewer than 50 words
>I struggle to have a reason to live
>But every now and then I go to sleep with the faint hope that I'll wake up in another reality, in a better moment of my life where I have no debts, where my career isn't going down the drain, where I still got some hope. But when I wake up, my despair grows deeper with each passing month each passing day, as I get older, poorer, and more useless.
I'm tired of everything. I don't talk to anyone. Not even to myself lately, to hear my own ideas is tiresome as i know nothing will come out of that. i struggle to even speak myself out.
Jobless no reincarnation
>AI has already replaced programmers>Programming no longer makes sense
>But programming is the only thing I know to work
>not like i was ever good
>im actually bad
>I try to go back to leran programming the way I used to
>Spent an hour writing and debugging code only to give up in the end, only to have an AI do it better in 5 minutes with fewer than 50 words
>I struggle to have a reason to live
>But every now and then I go to sleep with the faint hope that I'll wake up in another reality, in a better moment of my life where I have no debts, where my career isn't going down the drain, where I still got some hope. But when I wake up, my despair grows deeper with each passing month each passing day, as I get older, poorer, and more useless.
I'm tired of everything. I don't talk to anyone. Not even to myself lately, to hear my own ideas is tiresome as i know nothing will come out of that. i struggle to even speak myself out.
R: 4 / I: 0
Although he eventually had to pay for the wall that was broken—and I later humiliated him in front of the other students—it seems he will now face consequences because I reported him for watching pornography in class. I also managed to recover the cost of the course by taking back several expensive materials. Still, the whole situation feels unfair; I only wanted to learn—I never missed a class, I was always on time, and I was genuinely committed to my education.
I did everything correctly.
I want to improve my life and start my studies, but my classmates show me no respect. I try to avoid violence so that I can finish the course, and when the instructor shows me no respect, I try to stay quiet for the same reason. He tried to take advantage of me regarding an item I had for sale; when I refused, he forced me to do masonry work and told me to "keep my head down." The instructor spends all his time drinking coffee, playing on his computer, or watching pornography.Although he eventually had to pay for the wall that was broken—and I later humiliated him in front of the other students—it seems he will now face consequences because I reported him for watching pornography in class. I also managed to recover the cost of the course by taking back several expensive materials. Still, the whole situation feels unfair; I only wanted to learn—I never missed a class, I was always on time, and I was genuinely committed to my education.
R: 16 / I: 1
My penis feels completely disconnected from my body and I can feel things from it only barely.
I can feel ejaculating when it is about to happen when I used to masturbate and some sensitivity from it, but all of it pales compared to how my penis felt before.
And my penis feels floppy and rubbery like when my penis is erect, it falls on the other side.
I don't get morning woods and if I have nocturnal emissions it beacuse slept near a objects and, in general, my penis feels stiff.
I should also mention that I used to masturbate a lot that time ago and that I suffer from Klienfelter syndrome.
In general, I think I suffer from some kinda hard flaccid syndrome, and I am not sure how to fix it. I am afraid that it will never be fixed no matter what
Is there any solution to this?
My penis stopped working normally ever since 2019
In short, here are my symptoms.My penis feels completely disconnected from my body and I can feel things from it only barely.
I can feel ejaculating when it is about to happen when I used to masturbate and some sensitivity from it, but all of it pales compared to how my penis felt before.
And my penis feels floppy and rubbery like when my penis is erect, it falls on the other side.
I don't get morning woods and if I have nocturnal emissions it beacuse slept near a objects and, in general, my penis feels stiff.
I should also mention that I used to masturbate a lot that time ago and that I suffer from Klienfelter syndrome.
In general, I think I suffer from some kinda hard flaccid syndrome, and I am not sure how to fix it. I am afraid that it will never be fixed no matter what
Is there any solution to this?
R: 11 / I: 0
Despite all that however, I simply don't have any will to improve the parts of my life I'm unhappy with. I feel like it'd be so easy for me to learn to drive again, to join some kind of social club or just be more proactive in talking to people online, but I just will not do it. And it's not like I'm generally miserable or have a problem getting up in the morning or getting things done. I can get up and go to work, I can act like I'm perfectly fine to my family, I can still enjoy video games or jerking off, but it's like there's a block in my brain about this specifically.
Am I afraid? Afraid of saying something wrong again and turning everyone off? Afraid that, even though I'm usually very self-deprecating, it's all just a defense mechanism and if I found out that everyone hates me for real real it would hurt more?
Or is it some kind of autism to actually practice what I preach in my head? Because I feel like asking for help in a real way wouldn't be something that someone who truly hates themselves and thinks they don't deserve to live would do.
Or deep inside, do I believe that this is actually just me, and if I changed these parts I would be fake and not myself anymore?
Either way it feels so ingrained in me, it might as well be my actual personally. I've been bouncing these thoughts in my head for a while and I don't really know where to go from here.
Why don't I want to change?
I'm gonna try and be objective for a change, and say that despite being a 33 year old loser, I'm probably still better off than most people on paper. I'm able bodied, I'm (probably) not mentally deficient, I'm (probably) not hideous, I still have family that support me, I don't have trauma, and I'm not in some kind of terrible situation that I can't get out of.Despite all that however, I simply don't have any will to improve the parts of my life I'm unhappy with. I feel like it'd be so easy for me to learn to drive again, to join some kind of social club or just be more proactive in talking to people online, but I just will not do it. And it's not like I'm generally miserable or have a problem getting up in the morning or getting things done. I can get up and go to work, I can act like I'm perfectly fine to my family, I can still enjoy video games or jerking off, but it's like there's a block in my brain about this specifically.
Am I afraid? Afraid of saying something wrong again and turning everyone off? Afraid that, even though I'm usually very self-deprecating, it's all just a defense mechanism and if I found out that everyone hates me for real real it would hurt more?
Or is it some kind of autism to actually practice what I preach in my head? Because I feel like asking for help in a real way wouldn't be something that someone who truly hates themselves and thinks they don't deserve to live would do.
Or deep inside, do I believe that this is actually just me, and if I changed these parts I would be fake and not myself anymore?
Either way it feels so ingrained in me, it might as well be my actual personally. I've been bouncing these thoughts in my head for a while and I don't really know where to go from here.
R: 25 / I: 0
Opioids are literally the chemical of social attachment, and this becomes evident shortly after you take one.
Obviously do not abuse them and take them at the lowest effective dose, and you can be like me and treat your depression for years without trouble.
Has anybody else here had experience with them?
Opioid agonists for depression
If you are hopelessly depressed and lonesome, you simply need a mu-opioid agonist to rectify this state of affairs and make you feel connected and whole.Opioids are literally the chemical of social attachment, and this becomes evident shortly after you take one.
Obviously do not abuse them and take them at the lowest effective dose, and you can be like me and treat your depression for years without trouble.
Has anybody else here had experience with them?
R: 120 / I: 17
Helping wizards to understand that persuasive feelings of suicide can be bested.
Further the discursive spirit of this thread will remain the same as the first: to counter the general luring tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads through sharing positive practical advice purposed to reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.
(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care (many have already done this, to no worthwhile avail)
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain. Delimiting ingestion of both is wise.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open whichever windows punctuate your room and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.
I've done my part. Anyone else?
Anti-Suicide General 2
Starting a new anti-suicide general as the original has been bump-locked.Helping wizards to understand that persuasive feelings of suicide can be bested.
Further the discursive spirit of this thread will remain the same as the first: to counter the general luring tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads through sharing positive practical advice purposed to reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.
(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care (many have already done this, to no worthwhile avail)
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain. Delimiting ingestion of both is wise.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open whichever windows punctuate your room and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.
I've done my part. Anyone else?
R: 195 / I: 25
>I form the light, and create darkness. I make peace, and create evil. I YHWH do all these things - Isaiah 45:7
People act like religion is the answer to their problems, it just makes me more depressed
What is the average wizard's relationship with religion like? No religious person has ever been able to give me a good argument for why God, if he is out there, is not the most maximally evil being in the universe simply by the virtue of creating suffering when he could have chosen not to. Saying "suffering builds character" and derivatives of is just a manifestation of their stockholm syndrome for this vile entity>I form the light, and create darkness. I make peace, and create evil. I YHWH do all these things - Isaiah 45:7
R: 160 / I: 17
Previous:
>>296511
Suicide General
This is the classic "Suicide General", where we discuss methods and say farewell to our fellow wizards.Previous:
>>296511
R: 14 / I: 1
Cant seem to enjoy anything, I tried to get into hobbies but I cant enjoy them. Everything feels like a task that must be taken care of. I cant sit down and enjoy a good game or a meal. I feel jealous of the average human capable of creation and enjoyment. Everything feels fleeting and cloudy. I want to appreciate life more.
Cant seem to enjoy anything, I tried to get into hobbies but I cant enjoy them. Everything feels like a task that must be taken care of. I cant sit down and enjoy a good game or a meal. I feel jealous of the average human capable of creation and enjoyment. Everything feels fleeting and cloudy. I want to appreciate life more.
R: 26 / I: 1
erowid.org
psychonautwiki.org
/drugfeel/
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompsonerowid.org
psychonautwiki.org
R: 14 / I: 2
The more you interact with people irl the more chances they have to ruin your day
Avoiding contact is the best option for staying happy as a wizard based on my experience
The more you interact with people irl the more chances they have to ruin your day
Avoiding contact is the best option for staying happy as a wizard based on my experience
R: 54 / I: 3
My mom is already LDAR'ing due to the debt and she's already lost one child, so I think either by suicide or stress she would die. My dad? He didn't seem to care that much when my stepbro died, but I am his firstborn. I don't know really. My little brother would probably just turn into me. That's my only concern. Everyone else, would cry for a day maybe.
would anyone really care if you killed yourself?
Would they? I've been thinking.My mom is already LDAR'ing due to the debt and she's already lost one child, so I think either by suicide or stress she would die. My dad? He didn't seem to care that much when my stepbro died, but I am his firstborn. I don't know really. My little brother would probably just turn into me. That's my only concern. Everyone else, would cry for a day maybe.
R: 14 / I: 0
...
I feel like I just want to die, I've already prepared a rope for tomorrow, I hate this life, I really want to die, i can suicide tommorow, Goodbye.
R: 3 / I: 0
I don't know what can i do now
This is my life, I can't take it anymore. Being unemployed for too long has made me depressed and crazy, just busy blaming others, spending time in front of my phone and computer screen. Bro, I'm going to die at home with my crazy parents who keep blaming me. I can't even die, it's so hard to find a job. I don't know what else to do. I want to die but I don't want to kill myself, I'm too scared to do it. In junior high, I thought the bullying and demands for school fees were the worst things I've ever experienced until I went crazy and thought about killing myself. But it turns out, being unemployed now is much worse than I thought, especially with crazy parents who keep blaming me every day until I want to die. Maybe financially I'm still supported by my parents, but mentally I'm a mess. I want to go crazy but I can't. The world seems to be holding me back, right? If I apply for a job and act crazy at work, the world will definitely hold me back, just like when I was in high school, I acted crazy as if someone was holding me back from acting crazy. I can't stand it anymore, I'm going to be wild and crazy hahahaha damn damn damn this world, I want to scream HUAAAHH… When I was in high school I was treated special by my friends at school but because of that I was also hated because they were ENVY of me who was liked by all my friends, unlike when I was in junior high where I was bullied and demands for school fees and in high school I deliberately gave a speech about covid 19 so that I would be evil, when I was in kindergarten I gave a monster speech so it seemed like there was something that fit with it and sure enough in high school those who thought I was evil and those who were jealous saw me get opportunities and I was pushed aside and now I've graduated from school and am unemployed with crazy parents and I'm going crazy, if this world thinks I'm evil and everyone thinks I'm evil why not, if I'm considered stupid and weird why don't I accept it all I'm evil, stupid, weird, and i deserved it. I watched a gore documentary and it turns out there are people who are more evil than me because I am evil because of Covid 19, and I am afraid of killers, but strangely, when I was in high school, there was a murder case and the trial never ended, 8 month case and strangely, the trial was over the next day when I gave a speech in class when I was in high school and now I have graduated and am unemployed.
R: 8 / I: 0
People with suicidal ideation tend to put blame on themselves, whereas people who don't tend to blame others. Where do you redirect your pain?
I'm not sure if people who are suicidal are fearful of life or hateful of it. I think hating it has an element of arrogance like 'only if x didn't happen,' only if y didn't do it to me.' It's as if they're indirectly saying that they could be better if certain circumstances didn't happen. Doesn't that point to the idea that the person is inherently competent but those external circumstances made them fail? I believe I don't fall into this line of reasoning. I believe I'd fail if I were put in another person's shoes. I'd still fail if all the opportunities in the world were present to me. There's a birth defect in me. I can't stay committed to anything, not my friends, not my job, not anything. I treat others like shit because I am one myself. I put the guilt on myself. Suicidal and depressed people who put the blame on others seem like a walking paradox. I decided to make this post after observing some of what the anons here have said. Everyone seems to have an infirectly positive outlook on themselves
People with suicidal ideation tend to put blame on themselves, whereas people who don't tend to blame others. Where do you redirect your pain?
I'm not sure if people who are suicidal are fearful of life or hateful of it. I think hating it has an element of arrogance like 'only if x didn't happen,' only if y didn't do it to me.' It's as if they're indirectly saying that they could be better if certain circumstances didn't happen. Doesn't that point to the idea that the person is inherently competent but those external circumstances made them fail? I believe I don't fall into this line of reasoning. I believe I'd fail if I were put in another person's shoes. I'd still fail if all the opportunities in the world were present to me. There's a birth defect in me. I can't stay committed to anything, not my friends, not my job, not anything. I treat others like shit because I am one myself. I put the guilt on myself. Suicidal and depressed people who put the blame on others seem like a walking paradox. I decided to make this post after observing some of what the anons here have said. Everyone seems to have an infirectly positive outlook on themselves
R: 51 / I: 6
dead internet
new internet of over 10 yrs now… is it me or there is nothing left to talk about?
R: 8 / I: 0
pray for suicide
if only killing yourself would be easy. If only no one cared for me, if only I cared for no one. If only I didn't make nobody sad if I killed myself. I wish suicide did not arm anyone who cares for me, if only killing myself was releasing of the soul. The chains tied to this earth are linked to the people I don't want them to be sad because of my death. if it was this easy…I'd do it anytime soon, but halas, it's a painful and selfish act R: 27 / I: 0
My father: Total naive nimrod. He could be in the middle of a South American prison yard with everyone giving him death stares and sharpening their blades. He'd be smiling like an idiot and ask "Do you mexican fellas like tacos?" "I have a lot of money back at home, I like to buy nachos!". He leaves his car RUNNING and unlocked as he spends hours in the shopping centre. His car has been stolen atleast 10+ times. He's no longer able to be insured, yet he still does this. He's dropped an easy 150k+ in stolen cars that could have been idk, not wasted? I swear his awareness IQ is easily like 10~25. He gives everyone money but his own family.
MY mother: She's even worse, she has all the same qualities as my dad but she's also mumbling to herself non stop. She talks 24/7 and that isn't a joke. She will have an hour long rannt at me about checking the mail box "I checked the mail, or did i? I didn/t wait no i did but i dont remember or did i did i? there was no mail or was there? there is mail? when is mail?" Literally just that on repeat, if she isn't talking she is grumbling to herself NON FUCKING STOP!!!!!!!!! why cant she shut the fuck up
Mentally Ill parents will destroy you
I'm already in a bad position. I'm a 29 year old Zoomer. My parents are mid range boomers. Even if they were somewhat normal there would be so much of a divide that it would make any common ground unreasonable to expect. However they are mentally ill. That was the excecution shout after I was already on the ground cowering and blown to pieces.My father: Total naive nimrod. He could be in the middle of a South American prison yard with everyone giving him death stares and sharpening their blades. He'd be smiling like an idiot and ask "Do you mexican fellas like tacos?" "I have a lot of money back at home, I like to buy nachos!". He leaves his car RUNNING and unlocked as he spends hours in the shopping centre. His car has been stolen atleast 10+ times. He's no longer able to be insured, yet he still does this. He's dropped an easy 150k+ in stolen cars that could have been idk, not wasted? I swear his awareness IQ is easily like 10~25. He gives everyone money but his own family.
MY mother: She's even worse, she has all the same qualities as my dad but she's also mumbling to herself non stop. She talks 24/7 and that isn't a joke. She will have an hour long rannt at me about checking the mail box "I checked the mail, or did i? I didn/t wait no i did but i dont remember or did i did i? there was no mail or was there? there is mail? when is mail?" Literally just that on repeat, if she isn't talking she is grumbling to herself NON FUCKING STOP!!!!!!!!! why cant she shut the fuck up
R: 10 / I: 0
I just want to vent my frustration here. Why is it that when I’m hated and constantly treated like trash and a loser by everyone they suddenly act sweet toward me? If I’m truly loathed and viewed as nothing more than garbage and a failure, why do those hypocrites act so nice? I don’t mind being seen that way, but when they suddenly soften their attitude, it feels incredibly hypocritical. Why do they suddenly act kindly? If you hate me, then hate me don't hold back, just hate me fully. Its infuriating. Don't try to soften a heart that has already been wounded by a million pains it only adds to my suffering.
I just want to vent my frustration here. Why is it that when I’m hated and constantly treated like trash and a loser by everyone they suddenly act sweet toward me? If I’m truly loathed and viewed as nothing more than garbage and a failure, why do those hypocrites act so nice? I don’t mind being seen that way, but when they suddenly soften their attitude, it feels incredibly hypocritical. Why do they suddenly act kindly? If you hate me, then hate me don't hold back, just hate me fully. Its infuriating. Don't try to soften a heart that has already been wounded by a million pains it only adds to my suffering.
R: 11 / I: 0
I love wizchan because it is the only place where you can be pro-suicide without getting banned or exposed or criminalized, I feel like the whole internet has been psychiatrized
I love wizchan because it is the only place where you can be pro-suicide without getting banned or exposed or criminalized, I feel like the whole internet has been psychiatrized
R: 26 / I: 1
Do you think suicide hotlines are helpful? I have been calling them almost everyday without anything improving.
Is there a better alternative?
Do you think suicide hotlines are helpful? I have been calling them almost everyday without anything improving.
Is there a better alternative?
R: 12 / I: 0
Does this work?
Looking for some feedback on if the process in this picture would work, and what gas would be needed. R: 31 / I: 1
I fucking hate school
Fuck school. Its shit and it makes me wanna kms. It drains the life out of me. There is zero point in working for like 40 years anyway
R: 11 / I: 0
I'm very depressed and I will also develop chaos in my mind so I don't care about everyone anymore and I will destroy everything why should I be a fool who can only blame myself while others can be happy without being able to feel how crazy this world is I will destroy everything and if this world ends and everything is destroyed then I will be a living witness that I am the one who knows how cruel this world is and how unfair all of this is everyone everything everything must have an end if it doesn't end then I will always be in hell or at least be locked up as rotting flesh
I'm very depressed and I will also develop chaos in my mind so I don't care about everyone anymore and I will destroy everything why should I be a fool who can only blame myself while others can be happy without being able to feel how crazy this world is I will destroy everything and if this world ends and everything is destroyed then I will be a living witness that I am the one who knows how cruel this world is and how unfair all of this is everyone everything everything must have an end if it doesn't end then I will always be in hell or at least be locked up as rotting flesh
R: 6 / I: 1
It's been a few days since I finished the game and holy shit do I feel empty. I keep thinking; it's over, it's over. It's almost as though my cold dead heart became that much heavier and now i'm irritated
I suspected I would feel this way but ignored my better judgement. I've played similar games but they were more lustful which didn't hurt at all.
TLDR: Romantic dating sims are a cognitohazard
Wiz's first dating sim
I just played a dating sim for the first time. In hindsight the story was nothing special at all, but the innocent nature of the love story between the MC self insert and female lead left me afterwards feeling even worse than I usually doIt's been a few days since I finished the game and holy shit do I feel empty. I keep thinking; it's over, it's over. It's almost as though my cold dead heart became that much heavier and now i'm irritated
I suspected I would feel this way but ignored my better judgement. I've played similar games but they were more lustful which didn't hurt at all.
TLDR: Romantic dating sims are a cognitohazard
R: 12 / I: 0
Also self-pity
we're the worst type of person someone can meet. it's on paar with manipulative personalities
I am weak,
self-victimization
I fucking hate being like that but that's my only defensive mechanism against others. I'm sure I don't even have a real personality because self-victimization is the only way how I react and act.Also self-pity
we're the worst type of person someone can meet. it's on paar with manipulative personalities
I am weak,
R: 21 / I: 17
Evil Oekaki
Whenever you feel depressed, crazy, angry, and stressful, come here and draw something using Evil Oekaki. You can draw anything here before chaos. do not draw pornography is prohibited!!.
R: 1 / I: 0
Hi..
I feel like the last few years have passed so quickly, every day I spend alone, isolated, but it's okay, every problem I face, fatigue, failure, sadness, and so on, I've been through every day, but hey, I'm still here until now and it seems like I've made peace with my mental problems, maybe I'm used to facing it alone without the help of others, I feel like depression is part of my routine and part of my personality, but I'm happy
R: 20 / I: 4
Drug & Alcohol General
Discuss your substance related coping mechanisms and how it pertains to your depression here.
R: 3 / I: 0
got tired of liking furries so much… so i drew then hanging in the gallows
got tired of liking furries so much… so i drew then hanging in the gallows
R: 49 / I: 12
>be me
>bored
>decide to go for a walk
>the group that used to harass me in high school sees me
>they start shouting embarrassing nicknames they gave me loudly, just like they did in HS
I thought I wouldn't need to deal with that anymore, but it seems like I was wrong. Has anyone here ever experienced something similar? I just want to have some peace.
>be me
>bored
>decide to go for a walk
>the group that used to harass me in high school sees me
>they start shouting embarrassing nicknames they gave me loudly, just like they did in HS
I thought I wouldn't need to deal with that anymore, but it seems like I was wrong. Has anyone here ever experienced something similar? I just want to have some peace.
R: 45 / I: 1
Being a genetic dead end ugly loser myself I suffer for it even as a now "middle aged" man.
One would think such things are left behind in high school or something, but no.
You queue up for a service, government office for some paperwork, a cash register at a store, post office or hell even medical services.
You can tell the people before you were treated kindly. At worst processed in a neutral way.
Some even receive a cheerful response and the help they need, people go above and beyond for some.
Then it's your turn at the line.
A look of disdain follows immediately. Quiet. No "what can I help do for you" "what can I help you with" "what is the purpose of your visit".
Silence. Faces contort…
Sometimes a sigh, sometimes some snide remark. Clear hostility.
A shift in demeanor so noticeable, so obvious, so visceral… (yet to them likely natural) that even the thickest of autism wont help you stay oblivious to it.
You get mistreated, worse service, denied service you paid for, medical gaslighting, humiliation over and over again.
Networking is impossible for you, who by your mere acquaintance devalue their status.. and without connections, being treated like this, only having the "official route" as an option you soon realize you might not be able to get anything done.
After much pushing, repeated humiliations and humbling yourself, matching your demeanor to that expected of "your ilk" some old lady at the register might take pity and process your request, prescribe your medication, refer you to a proper doctor.
Sometimes the stars do align like that and you make a step towards a slightly less miserable state of being.
Yet that was all beyond you. At the mercy of the system, rather, those upholding it, those normies that decide your fate.
A simple nurse on a whim decides you deserve to suffer. A cashier decides to reject your (otherwise valid) coupon or something so you have no choice but to leave some items behind.
At the government office they refuse your paperwork for some minor thing they would ignore for any other. Back to the start with you.
A doctor refusing treatment, denying your pain even exists.
Pray they'll be merciful next time.
What choice does one have? At some point meekness becomes the default, helplessness not learned but enforced. It is not fair at all.
What freedom was there when the worlds rejection and adverse experiences due to external factors shaped your internal self as well?
Do share some thoughts or experiences on this matter if you have any.
Disclaimer: This isn't about the topic of "looksmaxing" or similar such things. But I'm not against advice or tactics related to navigating life as someone forced to be on the fringes.
Living hideously. What have you been denied for being ugly?
Lookism has become a public, popular topic lately on the internet and I believe that it affects wizards in very tangible ways.Being a genetic dead end ugly loser myself I suffer for it even as a now "middle aged" man.
One would think such things are left behind in high school or something, but no.
You queue up for a service, government office for some paperwork, a cash register at a store, post office or hell even medical services.
You can tell the people before you were treated kindly. At worst processed in a neutral way.
Some even receive a cheerful response and the help they need, people go above and beyond for some.
Then it's your turn at the line.
A look of disdain follows immediately. Quiet. No "what can I help do for you" "what can I help you with" "what is the purpose of your visit".
Silence. Faces contort…
Sometimes a sigh, sometimes some snide remark. Clear hostility.
A shift in demeanor so noticeable, so obvious, so visceral… (yet to them likely natural) that even the thickest of autism wont help you stay oblivious to it.
You get mistreated, worse service, denied service you paid for, medical gaslighting, humiliation over and over again.
Networking is impossible for you, who by your mere acquaintance devalue their status.. and without connections, being treated like this, only having the "official route" as an option you soon realize you might not be able to get anything done.
After much pushing, repeated humiliations and humbling yourself, matching your demeanor to that expected of "your ilk" some old lady at the register might take pity and process your request, prescribe your medication, refer you to a proper doctor.
Sometimes the stars do align like that and you make a step towards a slightly less miserable state of being.
Yet that was all beyond you. At the mercy of the system, rather, those upholding it, those normies that decide your fate.
A simple nurse on a whim decides you deserve to suffer. A cashier decides to reject your (otherwise valid) coupon or something so you have no choice but to leave some items behind.
At the government office they refuse your paperwork for some minor thing they would ignore for any other. Back to the start with you.
A doctor refusing treatment, denying your pain even exists.
Pray they'll be merciful next time.
What choice does one have? At some point meekness becomes the default, helplessness not learned but enforced. It is not fair at all.
What freedom was there when the worlds rejection and adverse experiences due to external factors shaped your internal self as well?
Do share some thoughts or experiences on this matter if you have any.
Disclaimer: This isn't about the topic of "looksmaxing" or similar such things. But I'm not against advice or tactics related to navigating life as someone forced to be on the fringes.
R: 80 / I: 2
It's Saturday night and I started taking a new antidepressant called Mirtazapine (15mg) on Thursday night.
This is my 10th or so attempt at a psychiatric medication. I've tried lots of therapy too.
Wish me luck anonymages. I was about to quit my job but watched some motivational videos on autoplay on Youtube for hours and as cheesy as it was, they convinced me to give this a go.
I didn't even get these prescribed recently. It was way back last year and then I just didn't take them because this particular medicine has a reputation for making people really fatigued.
It does put me to sleep. But, maybe that's ok. If it means I can find some happening apart from fapping and dreaming while I sleep.
Maybe it'll even help me turnaround my fortunes at work where it looks like I'm sliding towards a firing or just being unable to come in. Barely stopped myself raging at my boss the other day and took 2 weeks sick leave from stress afterwards. I need to swallow some humble pie come Monday and hopefully these pills help. Being off work for 2 weeks showed me I'm just as miserable and actually more so depressed, anxious and stressed not working despite all the antiwork slogans I collect.
It's Saturday night and I started taking a new antidepressant called Mirtazapine (15mg) on Thursday night.
This is my 10th or so attempt at a psychiatric medication. I've tried lots of therapy too.
Wish me luck anonymages. I was about to quit my job but watched some motivational videos on autoplay on Youtube for hours and as cheesy as it was, they convinced me to give this a go.
I didn't even get these prescribed recently. It was way back last year and then I just didn't take them because this particular medicine has a reputation for making people really fatigued.
It does put me to sleep. But, maybe that's ok. If it means I can find some happening apart from fapping and dreaming while I sleep.
Maybe it'll even help me turnaround my fortunes at work where it looks like I'm sliding towards a firing or just being unable to come in. Barely stopped myself raging at my boss the other day and took 2 weeks sick leave from stress afterwards. I need to swallow some humble pie come Monday and hopefully these pills help. Being off work for 2 weeks showed me I'm just as miserable and actually more so depressed, anxious and stressed not working despite all the antiwork slogans I collect.
R: 19 / I: 4
Welcome to my Cafe
If you want to stop by here, if you have any problems or want to share, I will reply to all of them quickly, and so I will reply to all of them one by one.
R: 16 / I: 2
25 years old haven't done anything
No girlfriend ever no sex not even a best friend just 25 years of existence with nothing to show for it. Watching younger people on social media doing everything I missed out on is excruciating. Life is hell when you're unattractive. Praying that I die tonight from internal bleeding in my sleep
R: 20 / I: 5
At what age did you become blackpilled about your life?
Around 12-14 I knew exactly where I would end up, and sadly was completely right even back then, nothing changed
Everything went about as poorly as expected
Being relatively intelligent as an autistic sperg is worst.
Not even having the bliss of ignorance
At what age did you become blackpilled about your life?
Around 12-14 I knew exactly where I would end up, and sadly was completely right even back then, nothing changed
Everything went about as poorly as expected
Being relatively intelligent as an autistic sperg is worst.
Not even having the bliss of ignorance
R: 3 / I: 0
How do I fix this?
Severe burnout
dont enjoy doing anything anymore and no desire to self rehabilitate either.How do I fix this?
R: 78 / I: 18
I have had depression for my whole life adolescence onward, and I was afraid even 5-6 years ago of this day and thought it would be unsurvivable, and now it's here, and I do want to die. I dont want to live in a world where he isn't here with me. The initial shock has worn off and it's sinking in that my best friend is gone, and I'm not going to see him again. My mother is the only other positive presence in my life, because she knew how much I love him. She has stage 4 cancer and it's still unclear if she's going to survive it or not. She's essentially the only reason why I have not shot myself already. She was never abusive or cruel to me, so I couldn't do that to her even though I don't want to live anymore.
Did you ever have an animal that meant this much to you? People are cruel and petty and small. If an animal loves you it's genuine, they dont have ulterior motives or social performance.
Companion animals
My rooster that I've had for ten years, who I consider my best friend and love more than anyone else, died Wednesday night. He was my only friend. He lived in the house with me and was the only thing that would make me feel better when the rest of my life would weigh down on me. I would go hold him and the rest of life would disappear and that would be all that would matter. I keep forgetting now for a few moments, that I can't go see him and hold him anymore.I have had depression for my whole life adolescence onward, and I was afraid even 5-6 years ago of this day and thought it would be unsurvivable, and now it's here, and I do want to die. I dont want to live in a world where he isn't here with me. The initial shock has worn off and it's sinking in that my best friend is gone, and I'm not going to see him again. My mother is the only other positive presence in my life, because she knew how much I love him. She has stage 4 cancer and it's still unclear if she's going to survive it or not. She's essentially the only reason why I have not shot myself already. She was never abusive or cruel to me, so I couldn't do that to her even though I don't want to live anymore.
Did you ever have an animal that meant this much to you? People are cruel and petty and small. If an animal loves you it's genuine, they dont have ulterior motives or social performance.
R: 1 / I: 0
I try to be better but I always fail and get underestimated I have tried but always get ignored and fail, bad luck has always followed me since the beginning since the beginning this world has never been fair to anyone except those who are lucky damn I don't understand
I try to be better but I always fail and get underestimated I have tried but always get ignored and fail, bad luck has always followed me since the beginning since the beginning this world has never been fair to anyone except those who are lucky damn I don't understand
R: 13 / I: 0
Does anyone else envy those people who say "I have 12\6\4 (etc) month to live"?
Imagine KNOWING for sure -more or less- how many time you have left; all the impunity, courage, quickness and nimbleness, resolution and firmness, with which you would do anything and everything.
I envy such people!
Does anyone else envy those people who say "I have 12\6\4 (etc) month to live"?
Imagine KNOWING for sure -more or less- how many time you have left; all the impunity, courage, quickness and nimbleness, resolution and firmness, with which you would do anything and everything.
I envy such people!
R: 8 / I: 1
Why can't I be like everyone else
I want to be like people on tiktok can have fun can be famous can be any character persona they want, but me, want to be anything on tiktok and want to be famous, I'm not allowed by my parents, this is annoying this is not fair, so I make tiktok videos as is and not as good as other people and the character is not as good as other people on tiktok, my persona character is cheap just a blue blanket as a cape and a yellow crown that I made from cardboard and maybe my tiktok and youtube videos are just for fun and archived so they don't get lost and to show my tiktok to my friends so they are cool and not inferior to their own tiktok and my friends also have tiktok and they always say where is your tiktok I have a cool tiktok where is your tiktok?, and I don't care about income I just want to be able to be a persona character as good as other people on tiktok and be free but my parents forbid me to make tiktok content like other people can be free and have good persona characters, I'm so jealous
R: 6 / I: 3
To succubus both is probably the same, but as a short man you always feel out of place, even in another group of men when they are all taller then you
Recently I was arguing with someone, and someone else went between us "leave the kid alone" despite me long being an adult
You feel weaker, are not taken seriously, basically a joke
I work out, mostly for myself, but in the back of my mind I think no matter how buff i get next to someone 2-3 heads taller then me i will always look like a joke
Most succubus are as tall or taller then me here
I hate it all so much
I could not even imagine if I was hideously ugly ontop of being short
brutal stuff
Being short is equivalent to being some kind of freak
Being short in a tall country
Is being short worse then being ugly?To succubus both is probably the same, but as a short man you always feel out of place, even in another group of men when they are all taller then you
Recently I was arguing with someone, and someone else went between us "leave the kid alone" despite me long being an adult
You feel weaker, are not taken seriously, basically a joke
I work out, mostly for myself, but in the back of my mind I think no matter how buff i get next to someone 2-3 heads taller then me i will always look like a joke
Most succubus are as tall or taller then me here
I hate it all so much
I could not even imagine if I was hideously ugly ontop of being short
brutal stuff
Being short is equivalent to being some kind of freak
R: 30 / I: 3
Am I a man?
I know there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m perfect. I’m skinny, kind, and thoughtful. But the isolation from everyone around me has been getting to me. Nobody has ever put effort into me. I changed my style just to receive barely any compliments, then proceeded to get ignored by everyone. No whore has ever thought of me as a man. They’re gross creatures who look at me and think I’m homosexual. I’m not. Just because I look like a slut doesn’t mean I am one. Then I am being secluded for not being manly enough. other male seems to think of me as one of them either, shouldn’t I be given respect from my fellow peers and colleagues?
R: 29 / I: 7
free theraphy
ITT you humor me as i play psychologist and i try to give legit helpful good-faithed answers, preferably based on phenomenon you have a chance of have seen play out in reality already. in case of failure and the absence of anything helpful at least i skillfully disrespect you.
R: 52 / I: 5
In 9th or 10th grade, a random succubus who wasn't even in my class said, "There's something wrong your shirt. Everytime I see you there's something wrong with you." I don't know why she was in my classroom, and I never saw her again afterwards. Of course I said nothing like a pathetic slave. They echo in my mind almost 10 years after.
words that left an impression
Was reading "Look Me in The Eye" and was inspired by the phrase, "He'll remember this when he's 40." What are those things that people said to you that you never forgot? Can be positive or negative, recent or distant past.In 9th or 10th grade, a random succubus who wasn't even in my class said, "There's something wrong your shirt. Everytime I see you there's something wrong with you." I don't know why she was in my classroom, and I never saw her again afterwards. Of course I said nothing like a pathetic slave. They echo in my mind almost 10 years after.
R: 59 / I: 3
I'm tired of socializing, drama, human interests, social demands, social everything.
I wish I was a machine instead of a talking ape. I actually hate being an animal.
I don't even hate people, I just don't want to be in any contact with them. I even hate my own body for forcing me to eat and wash in order to not completely dysfunction.
Voluntarily cutting off ties
Does anyone else voluntarily exile themselves from society?I'm tired of socializing, drama, human interests, social demands, social everything.
I wish I was a machine instead of a talking ape. I actually hate being an animal.
I don't even hate people, I just don't want to be in any contact with them. I even hate my own body for forcing me to eat and wash in order to not completely dysfunction.
R: 6 / I: 1
Previous thread >>310743
update, so this is me, the drug user, there was just an incident in my neighborhood today at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, there was a suicide and that photo is the real photo of the suicide, people said he was still in the 2nd grade of junior high school, and I found out because everyone was excited in my neighborhood, so I was curious and went out of the house and there was a suicide
Previous thread >>310743
update, so this is me, the drug user, there was just an incident in my neighborhood today at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, there was a suicide and that photo is the real photo of the suicide, people said he was still in the 2nd grade of junior high school, and I found out because everyone was excited in my neighborhood, so I was curious and went out of the house and there was a suicide
R: 67 / I: 9
Reminder to take your vitamins, especially "fish oil" one " Vitamin D3
they say Vitamin D3, because "Vitamin D" sounds like an euphemism, kekeke
Reminder to take your vitamins, especially "fish oil" one " Vitamin D3
they say Vitamin D3, because "Vitamin D" sounds like an euphemism, kekeke
R: 29 / I: 1
How do you deal with extreme public humiliation and a destroyed reputation? Shits suicide fuel
How do you deal with extreme public humiliation and a destroyed reputation? Shits suicide fuel
R: 96 / I: 4
places that don't exist have begun to repell me. my own reality has so many projects i would like to attend to that i feel gridlocked by not knowing what to do first. desire for fiction might be nothing but pure idleness.
i assume i understand the impulse, though i could be mistaken. when i was a child and were forced to attend child prison (school), the idea of no longer being able to explore the world at my own pace and instead had to spend time with the violent conformist was completely depressing. have them judge my intelligence based on how hard i could force myself to care what they thought was important in their desperate attempt to turn me into a mindless soldier and stomp all my dreams and interests in the process.
i'd flee into video games and at least videogames are interactive. in a video game i can make decisions, in school i was but an inmate without agency. but in a movie about a super hero, there is no interaction, the poor fool who watches this is but the passive recipient of centralized propaganda. i don't see how someone would accept this premise and spend time on this.
fiction and mental health
i keep wondering if all fiction could be unhealthy for the brain. human life is so short, a day has so few hours. how can you take one or more of these hours and flee to a place that doesn't exist and disconnect from your own reality.places that don't exist have begun to repell me. my own reality has so many projects i would like to attend to that i feel gridlocked by not knowing what to do first. desire for fiction might be nothing but pure idleness.
i assume i understand the impulse, though i could be mistaken. when i was a child and were forced to attend child prison (school), the idea of no longer being able to explore the world at my own pace and instead had to spend time with the violent conformist was completely depressing. have them judge my intelligence based on how hard i could force myself to care what they thought was important in their desperate attempt to turn me into a mindless soldier and stomp all my dreams and interests in the process.
i'd flee into video games and at least videogames are interactive. in a video game i can make decisions, in school i was but an inmate without agency. but in a movie about a super hero, there is no interaction, the poor fool who watches this is but the passive recipient of centralized propaganda. i don't see how someone would accept this premise and spend time on this.
R: 30 / I: 2
why shouldn't i sign up for some kind of military service
Just got fired from my dead end job and i noticed i have nothing going for my life. No real skills or anything that could make me enough money to go retire early to some third world shithole and live the pseudo neet life. Would military service be a good idea? i have no delusions about striking gold or doing some call of duty shenanigans. it's a recognizeable organization and people often hire vets just cause theyre vets from my experience R: 18 / I: 1
Society
Why there no reason to exist but if you point to it and ask society(any people) why you shouldn't kill yourself, they just ignore you, make fun of you, and exclude you from society ? R: 44 / I: 6
How many of you are like this?
Very late 20s. Never been on a date, never been approached. Never had any friends, only acquaintances. Not even meme internet "friends". I always thought these things would naturally come to me at a later age, but they never did. With each passing year it gets worse. There is something profoundly wrong with me, it's like the part of my brain that's responsible for human contact was amputated at birth
R: 15 / I: 3
Cyberbullying
Is anyone else here being cyber-bullied? I have been cyberbullied by a colleague in my hobby for over 10 years; he has used his superior reputation to waylay, insult me and make me feel insignificant. It doesn't matter how many laps I would run around him, he only becomes more entrenched in his own sense of superiority. It used to be I just didn't have the catalog of works to "prove myself" to him. Now he is just being incalcitrant, dismissing that I have such works even now. The worst part is that my "envy" has moved from wanting a catalog like his, to having now, in my own estimation, attained that catalog to envying his pride and arrogance and self-assuredness. This is terrible to envy these things as a supposed Christian. And worse, I kind of just think "what if he died. Then I could enjoy my hobby in peace". As a Christian I shouldn't want the death of anyone. But I will say, I could be a lot more happy if he completely lost his access to the internet.
R: 62 / I: 7
Does anyone else hate his own body? I hate mine so much, I feel uncomfortable in my own body the whole time, it doesn't matter what I'm doing, I feel dirty, sick, detqched from my body. I want to get out of my body.
Does anyone else hate his own body? I hate mine so much, I feel uncomfortable in my own body the whole time, it doesn't matter what I'm doing, I feel dirty, sick, detqched from my body. I want to get out of my body.
R: 4 / I: 1
Cancer Test Trial
Is it worth it getting into altruistic-minded test trials? does it actually help anyone in the future? is the extra pain and suffering, altruistically (utilitarian calculus) worth it?
R: 18 / I: 1
Still live "at home" in a flat with my mom at 30, my room is 2.5m x 5m so 12.5 square meters. (134.549 ft²american)
With all the furniture I have a usable space of about 0.8m x 3m maybe, so less than 3sqm. (25.833 ft²)
Spend all day sitting at my desk anyways so whatever.
Been wondering if maybe this tiny space is part of the reason why I just don't do anything.
Do any of you have experience with living in a small space for a decade+?
Cabin fever - real or fake thoughts?
Might just be one of the myriad of things from health issues to shit life syndrome, but I've been thinking maybe my small living space is affecting me.Still live "at home" in a flat with my mom at 30, my room is 2.5m x 5m so 12.5 square meters. (134.549 ft²american)
With all the furniture I have a usable space of about 0.8m x 3m maybe, so less than 3sqm. (25.833 ft²)
Spend all day sitting at my desk anyways so whatever.
Been wondering if maybe this tiny space is part of the reason why I just don't do anything.
Do any of you have experience with living in a small space for a decade+?
R: 33 / I: 2
And that is the worst part about it, I simply don't get it, a friend of mine wanted to meet another friend and he wanted me to go to club with me, now why did I agree? Because I wanted a referral for a job. Apart from that clubs in my country are horrendous for sub-3 men like me because they don't let people like me enter because of "dress code" when in reality you look ugly, short, singly, and the whole nine yards.
I got a referral so that's a good thing if it materialises into a job. But what I saw in club is not something that I have not known but to see it happen it still caught me like a deer in the headlights, basically I knew that this friend of friend is going to be a piece of shit because he is a club-goer.
But when I saw him literally just go up to a bitch and started making out with her continuously then going to the toiled and then coming back, and then actually showing me his Instagram and Snapchat about fucking a succubus 5 times one day, and fucking 10 different succubi in 10 days and sharing nudes on Telegram by starting out with the message "New Pussy around my Dick.".
God bless him for giving me the referral which probably won't materialise into a job but for some reason I wish I never met him, I saw a weird kind of primal expression on the faces of succubi, the man was 6'4 and had a chiseled face. And when I came back home I swear to god, I couldn't drive the car straight. Like I was about to crash 3 times, not because I was driving fast, but I was so pissed and my mind was just thinking about like what the fuck? I had to struggle for every single ounce of thing in life, and there are guys like this who just do what? Fucking exist?
Honestly, at that point years of thinking "I am never going to think about cunts" and months of trying to be a fucking monk only to enter a state of ragebait, I swear to god, when I returned in the night I was awake for a total of 48 hours just raging like a mad man and screaming into the damn mattress. Like what the fuck? How in the blue hell is it so easy for these kind of people? And this guy has cheated on every single cunt who was his GF. And has fucked over 40 succubi literally showed me his nudes with other succubi. And somehow it felt like a return to crabery and valuing foids again.
I hate the fact that I had to go out in real world. I want to be a fucking shut-in. I hate that I have to go and study and to find a job and run errands and all that crap. I mean just how the fuck does this guy even. I don't know man.
Being ragebaited by life.
I try and try like I really do to be a wizard but unfortunately keep heading into becoming a crab. As someone who can't afford to NEET and will just die on the side of the street if I do so, I have to unfortunately go out into the real world and try to get a job and maintain a "social life".And that is the worst part about it, I simply don't get it, a friend of mine wanted to meet another friend and he wanted me to go to club with me, now why did I agree? Because I wanted a referral for a job. Apart from that clubs in my country are horrendous for sub-3 men like me because they don't let people like me enter because of "dress code" when in reality you look ugly, short, singly, and the whole nine yards.
I got a referral so that's a good thing if it materialises into a job. But what I saw in club is not something that I have not known but to see it happen it still caught me like a deer in the headlights, basically I knew that this friend of friend is going to be a piece of shit because he is a club-goer.
But when I saw him literally just go up to a bitch and started making out with her continuously then going to the toiled and then coming back, and then actually showing me his Instagram and Snapchat about fucking a succubus 5 times one day, and fucking 10 different succubi in 10 days and sharing nudes on Telegram by starting out with the message "New Pussy around my Dick.".
God bless him for giving me the referral which probably won't materialise into a job but for some reason I wish I never met him, I saw a weird kind of primal expression on the faces of succubi, the man was 6'4 and had a chiseled face. And when I came back home I swear to god, I couldn't drive the car straight. Like I was about to crash 3 times, not because I was driving fast, but I was so pissed and my mind was just thinking about like what the fuck? I had to struggle for every single ounce of thing in life, and there are guys like this who just do what? Fucking exist?
Honestly, at that point years of thinking "I am never going to think about cunts" and months of trying to be a fucking monk only to enter a state of ragebait, I swear to god, when I returned in the night I was awake for a total of 48 hours just raging like a mad man and screaming into the damn mattress. Like what the fuck? How in the blue hell is it so easy for these kind of people? And this guy has cheated on every single cunt who was his GF. And has fucked over 40 succubi literally showed me his nudes with other succubi. And somehow it felt like a return to crabery and valuing foids again.
I hate the fact that I had to go out in real world. I want to be a fucking shut-in. I hate that I have to go and study and to find a job and run errands and all that crap. I mean just how the fuck does this guy even. I don't know man.
R: 15 / I: 0
All those cute couples rollerblading. Young mothers pushing strollers and smiling. People laughing in the park. People playing soccer in the field. Everyone is so happy, so content with their lot in life. They are so well-adjusted to this life.
People talking in upbeat tones. Groups of people socializing, laughing, smiling.
Everywhere I went today it was like this.
Its amazing how easy life is when you are neurotypical. It's like everything falls into place without much struggle and effort. You are always pre-programmed to get the most out of life without having to do anything special to make it happen.
Those warm sunny weekend spring day are intolerable.
I thought that at 44 years old this stuff wouldn't get at me anymore but I was wrong.All those cute couples rollerblading. Young mothers pushing strollers and smiling. People laughing in the park. People playing soccer in the field. Everyone is so happy, so content with their lot in life. They are so well-adjusted to this life.
People talking in upbeat tones. Groups of people socializing, laughing, smiling.
Everywhere I went today it was like this.
Its amazing how easy life is when you are neurotypical. It's like everything falls into place without much struggle and effort. You are always pre-programmed to get the most out of life without having to do anything special to make it happen.
R: 15 / I: 0
I can really assume we live in a hell realm, people are so used to suffering that atrocious and disgusting news such as murder or car accidents are deemed normal.
We're born without knowing why in a world we did not create and we must obey rules we did not decide, there is really no point in counsciousness when existence is like this unless it was conceived by evil forces for evil purposes.
So my conclusion is that we live inside a reality of pure evil, no chaotic, no orderly, just pure evil without any sense, like hitting your head until you die.
Reality is conceived by pure evil
It comes to my mind very often how evilness surrounds everything, from your own body being rotten and painful to the average politician being cruel and unhinged.I can really assume we live in a hell realm, people are so used to suffering that atrocious and disgusting news such as murder or car accidents are deemed normal.
We're born without knowing why in a world we did not create and we must obey rules we did not decide, there is really no point in counsciousness when existence is like this unless it was conceived by evil forces for evil purposes.
So my conclusion is that we live inside a reality of pure evil, no chaotic, no orderly, just pure evil without any sense, like hitting your head until you die.
R: 12 / I: 1
Lets War
Wiz, I really hate the way things are these days. You know how "brainrot" and cringe culture affect people now—my friends, my parents, and just daily life in general are all so annoying. The interactions between Gen Z and Boomers are getting weirder, and people in general are becoming stranger, which makes everyday life incredibly frustrating. What if history could repeat itself—like World War II—so that those forgetful Gen Zers and Boomers, and all the annoying people today, could finally realize just how terrifying a world war really is
R: 17 / I: 0
I dont know if i have this but it fucked a lot of social interactions.
Selective mutism
Do you have this? Any tips?I dont know if i have this but it fucked a lot of social interactions.
R: 12 / I: 1
Is the feeling of alienation familiar to you? Does it hurt?
"All my life, I have lived with the feeling that I have been kept from my true place. If the expression "metaphysical exile" had no meaning, my existence alone would afford it one."
~ Emil Cioran ; The Trouble With Being Born
Is the feeling of alienation familiar to you? Does it hurt?
"All my life, I have lived with the feeling that I have been kept from my true place. If the expression "metaphysical exile" had no meaning, my existence alone would afford it one."
~ Emil Cioran ; The Trouble With Being Born
R: 26 / I: 12
>So
When I was a kid, I had some pretty OCD-like behavior—I’d touch things and check them over and over until I felt reassured that everything was okay. I also used to walk on my tiptoes, which is a bit autistic, but I eventually stopped doing that (I don’t know if I have autism at this point bacause never did a test, but whatever).
>So what’s up with you?
Well, in my case is limerence (some studies say is co-related to OCD)
>And what’s that like?
Well, imagine a succubi (for some people even can be the other sex you dont like) talks to you and treats you kindly once or twice, and then you start getting way more than just nervous around her because your body starts releasing dopamine, serotonin, and all that shit. And since you don’t know what’s going on, you think you like her or have fallen in love, but its NOT.
really it’s just fucking anxiety toward a “thing.” Because you’re constantly seeking validation in some way—whether for friendship, attention, or love but you have this anxiety that you know is inappropriate, and if you act on it, the feeling of danger gets worse, it’s almost like you’re having a heart attack. and as time pass the thing got worst and worst and you get more obsessive, nerveous and get a peak of anxiety, even start to rumiate or have that thing of limerence (LO) living rent free in your head bacause your brain cant stop thinking about your LO
>What was the worst experience you've ever had?
Even you will end starting to dream with the LO and have happy dreams or nightmares and waking up crying bacause you are getting the peak of anxiety and dopamine,etc sec before waking up. this shit can even ruin friendship.
>Why the hell does this happen?
I don’t know, genetics, anxiety, depression, emotional dependency, low self-steem, negligent parents, love hungry, maybe OCD etc and a whole lot of shit
>You're larping this nonsense
but in my case, it’s not like those internet memes of bitch tumblr succubi where it only happens once and they use like a joke for love or crush
>You're a retard and you fall in love go fuk yourself wizard
No, no it’s happened to me constantly over the years even as kid, and only last year did I realize that it’s unhealthy and that I have to control it. I don’t even genuinely like the succubi who end up being my objects of limerence (LO) its so fucked up like a addiction bacause its ruin my fucking life.
>So what are you doing now?
I'm trying to read up on this crap and stay away from certain types of people who might trigger that LO stuff in me again.
Limerence, OCD and Addictions
This thread is for talking about OCD, addictions, or those kinds of disorders that ruined our lives>So
When I was a kid, I had some pretty OCD-like behavior—I’d touch things and check them over and over until I felt reassured that everything was okay. I also used to walk on my tiptoes, which is a bit autistic, but I eventually stopped doing that (I don’t know if I have autism at this point bacause never did a test, but whatever).
>So what’s up with you?
Well, in my case is limerence (some studies say is co-related to OCD)
>And what’s that like?
Well, imagine a succubi (for some people even can be the other sex you dont like) talks to you and treats you kindly once or twice, and then you start getting way more than just nervous around her because your body starts releasing dopamine, serotonin, and all that shit. And since you don’t know what’s going on, you think you like her or have fallen in love, but its NOT.
really it’s just fucking anxiety toward a “thing.” Because you’re constantly seeking validation in some way—whether for friendship, attention, or love but you have this anxiety that you know is inappropriate, and if you act on it, the feeling of danger gets worse, it’s almost like you’re having a heart attack. and as time pass the thing got worst and worst and you get more obsessive, nerveous and get a peak of anxiety, even start to rumiate or have that thing of limerence (LO) living rent free in your head bacause your brain cant stop thinking about your LO
>What was the worst experience you've ever had?
Even you will end starting to dream with the LO and have happy dreams or nightmares and waking up crying bacause you are getting the peak of anxiety and dopamine,etc sec before waking up. this shit can even ruin friendship.
>Why the hell does this happen?
I don’t know, genetics, anxiety, depression, emotional dependency, low self-steem, negligent parents, love hungry, maybe OCD etc and a whole lot of shit
>You're larping this nonsense
but in my case, it’s not like those internet memes of bitch tumblr succubi where it only happens once and they use like a joke for love or crush
>You're a retard and you fall in love go fuk yourself wizard
No, no it’s happened to me constantly over the years even as kid, and only last year did I realize that it’s unhealthy and that I have to control it. I don’t even genuinely like the succubi who end up being my objects of limerence (LO) its so fucked up like a addiction bacause its ruin my fucking life.
>So what are you doing now?
I'm trying to read up on this crap and stay away from certain types of people who might trigger that LO stuff in me again.
R: 10 / I: 1
This year, I decided to start studying another major focused on the hobbies i love, music related things as hobby. I decided to try music education, and so far everything’s going well, and I even feel comfortable with my classmates, but the social aspect is still killing me.
>What's you cant handle?
>Vocal education
I can't handle vocal training classes I usually freeze up and can't even sing a scale. The strange thing is, I don't know if the teacher plays favorites, but she treats the succubi better, from what I've seen, they've been singing for a while, sing in church choirs around religious things etc, or already have experience with singing and high notes. I don't notice her treating the men the same way or giving them the same attention, and most of the guys haven't practiced singing before. Last time, she told me I don’t sing because I strive too much for perfection i dont believe this is true but this didnt help in anything. I don’t know if she misunderstood me or if she hates me, but I’m not sure if she understands that I can’t control my nerves and i actually told she about this. one day she just told me something in the lines of go to a psychologist bla bla Obviously, I failed her exams. maybe i the problem or she even tried to help much. maybe i will try to change to another teacher next year i dont know.
>Language and music theory problem
The language and music theory classes started a little late, but I love them (with piano classes), and the fun part comes in the later semesters. My only problem is that, because of some university policy, they make us record ourselves and… oh my god, I hate my fucking face. I’ve never liked recording myself, and they even make us record ourselves singing, which is even worse, because I can’t even stand in front of a camera for two seconds without go full into a panic attack of nervers and sadness. i hate mirrors and watching myself in recordings.
I’m seriously thinking about dropping out of this program because I know I won’t pass these classes unless I fix whatever’s going on in my head that’s causing my self-esteem to be so damaged. I feel ridiculous and disgusting. I’m 24 years old and I still haven’t gotten over the acne scars and other marks on my face, or the damage to my self-esteem from high school i feel just gatekeeped by the damn nerves and low self-steem and anxiety. I just want to disappear, but I think I could pass all my classes if they didn’t force me to expose myself so much or record myself on video.
>why you want to drop something you like?
Bacause i cant fucking imagine of the idea of a teacher with these problems, all the people i see here have no problems like this and looks healthy and normal to me and at this point in my life i feel like a shit. i dont want to go back to NEET i want to do something with my fucking empty life i tired of the feeling of loneliness or empty work.
I dont know what to do, i tried read some book around self steem cbt and etc but still i dont know how to help with this.
drop out of university bacause of self-steem
I wasted years of my life working and started college late. Last year, I began a degree program in psychology education to see if later I could handle a degree in psychology or become a therapist, and in short it was a disaster. I felt like a damn alien next to my classmates, and I didn’t feel comfortable in class, not with them, not with anything.This year, I decided to start studying another major focused on the hobbies i love, music related things as hobby. I decided to try music education, and so far everything’s going well, and I even feel comfortable with my classmates, but the social aspect is still killing me.
>What's you cant handle?
>Vocal education
I can't handle vocal training classes I usually freeze up and can't even sing a scale. The strange thing is, I don't know if the teacher plays favorites, but she treats the succubi better, from what I've seen, they've been singing for a while, sing in church choirs around religious things etc, or already have experience with singing and high notes. I don't notice her treating the men the same way or giving them the same attention, and most of the guys haven't practiced singing before. Last time, she told me I don’t sing because I strive too much for perfection i dont believe this is true but this didnt help in anything. I don’t know if she misunderstood me or if she hates me, but I’m not sure if she understands that I can’t control my nerves and i actually told she about this. one day she just told me something in the lines of go to a psychologist bla bla Obviously, I failed her exams. maybe i the problem or she even tried to help much. maybe i will try to change to another teacher next year i dont know.
>Language and music theory problem
The language and music theory classes started a little late, but I love them (with piano classes), and the fun part comes in the later semesters. My only problem is that, because of some university policy, they make us record ourselves and… oh my god, I hate my fucking face. I’ve never liked recording myself, and they even make us record ourselves singing, which is even worse, because I can’t even stand in front of a camera for two seconds without go full into a panic attack of nervers and sadness. i hate mirrors and watching myself in recordings.
I’m seriously thinking about dropping out of this program because I know I won’t pass these classes unless I fix whatever’s going on in my head that’s causing my self-esteem to be so damaged. I feel ridiculous and disgusting. I’m 24 years old and I still haven’t gotten over the acne scars and other marks on my face, or the damage to my self-esteem from high school i feel just gatekeeped by the damn nerves and low self-steem and anxiety. I just want to disappear, but I think I could pass all my classes if they didn’t force me to expose myself so much or record myself on video.
>why you want to drop something you like?
Bacause i cant fucking imagine of the idea of a teacher with these problems, all the people i see here have no problems like this and looks healthy and normal to me and at this point in my life i feel like a shit. i dont want to go back to NEET i want to do something with my fucking empty life i tired of the feeling of loneliness or empty work.
I dont know what to do, i tried read some book around self steem cbt and etc but still i dont know how to help with this.
R: 124 / I: 8
It used to be a good coping mechanism for me, but it seems the older I've gotten the worse it feels, and it's become detrimental to my health and the way I behave around people. Easily annoyed, constantly starting shit, tired all the time, strange pains. And I was still getting worse, fast.
This has been a wake-up call and I'm realizing I need to quit before it's too late. Though that's easy for me to say now when I'm still feeling bad, and I fear the cravings will come back strong, but I know I've got to try.
Curious to hear others experience with this.
Alcoholism
Does anyone here struggle with alcohol, or have managed to quit?It used to be a good coping mechanism for me, but it seems the older I've gotten the worse it feels, and it's become detrimental to my health and the way I behave around people. Easily annoyed, constantly starting shit, tired all the time, strange pains. And I was still getting worse, fast.
This has been a wake-up call and I'm realizing I need to quit before it's too late. Though that's easy for me to say now when I'm still feeling bad, and I fear the cravings will come back strong, but I know I've got to try.
Curious to hear others experience with this.
R: 9 / I: 2
i dont get it. im always so close to killing myself .
i hate myself .
life
how do some people make it so long.i dont get it. im always so close to killing myself .
i hate myself .
R: 0 / I: 0
>leftist roons come at me in swarms to try and cancel my style
>the system won't help me, it helps them attack me
>truth be tol', if I wanted to 100% my speedrun I would have to KO the roon and then go Han Solo to Anakin skywalker in tattoonie.
>…
>shit, these fuckers get to win
Pretty soon I'll have to fight my out of this mad world to survive
>be me, living life>leftist roons come at me in swarms to try and cancel my style
>the system won't help me, it helps them attack me
>truth be tol', if I wanted to 100% my speedrun I would have to KO the roon and then go Han Solo to Anakin skywalker in tattoonie.
>…
>shit, these fuckers get to win
R: 6 / I: 0
I have always suffered in silence. I never speak to others about my suffering—whether it’s my family or anyone else. I have always bottled up my emotional pain. Besides, no one wants me, so there is no point in reaching out to others to build the kind of trusting bond where I could open up. The last time I cried was five years ago; before that, I hadn't cried for six or seven years—or maybe even longer, I can't remember. I am tired of living; I can't take it anymore. I am not strong enough to hold on to life. I just can't manage it. In any case, there are so many people who can't cope and who give up on life—and yet people want to save them? My heart is too heavy; it’s crushing me.
I have always suffered in silence. I never speak to others about my suffering—whether it’s my family or anyone else. I have always bottled up my emotional pain. Besides, no one wants me, so there is no point in reaching out to others to build the kind of trusting bond where I could open up. The last time I cried was five years ago; before that, I hadn't cried for six or seven years—or maybe even longer, I can't remember. I am tired of living; I can't take it anymore. I am not strong enough to hold on to life. I just can't manage it. In any case, there are so many people who can't cope and who give up on life—and yet people want to save them? My heart is too heavy; it’s crushing me.
R: 32 / I: 7
There is this old guy I listened to for the past decade now called Eli the Computer Guy and he often repeats this mantra that a tech professional should go out there pick themselves up by their bootstraps and solve problems for money.
Solve real world problems for money. Provide solutions using your skills. Over and over again while teaching people about making toy cars with a microcomputer or whatever.
Issue is there aren't any problems the average guy is capable of solving that people are able to pay enough for to make it worthwhile.
Maybe I'm low IQ and not creative enough, but that is the point I guess.
The average guy that got a CS or engineering degree and is now doing menial tasks at a big corporation isn't going to create groundbreaking solutions because everything worth doing, all the low hanging fruit and obvious problem/solution pairs have been done to death, patented to death or worse.
Big tech is so big that they offer a solution so refined, so solid, so cheap that no mom-and-pop shop will ever give you the time of day if those even exist.
The average normie is quite content with a phone which is basically a toy-ified computer gadget.
They don't need more.
Most even run their own little business from it using a handful of cheap/free big tech tools that if you were to offer a homebrew solution for it would cost an arm and leg to maintain without economies of scale.
What does a network tech that wants to "solve problems" do aside from running cable? You could lease a 10G fiber line from a big ISP and sublet it by wiring up a small village I guess?
Then the government gives a huge fucking grant to big ISP and they just wire up every small village themselves leaving you with nothing.
If you are lucky you can become a subcontractor doing menial tasks for the big ISP in a set region.
What does the average coder do now? Especially with the future of them limiting hardware/software access? Every app is made that a normie needs. Kinda like with websites.
Every normie uses less than a dozen of them, mostly through apps…
Again I'm sure some 200IQ autist savant coders and engineers will solve major problems like they did coming up with AI and utilizing it, but really your average guy will be lucky if they can make something calling APIs of software made by these savants.
This old guy I mentioned talks about IVR systems, reinstalling "tuning up" windows XP computers and the like and you know what? I could do that too. I've the mental faculties to do that too.
I did that for myself when I was a kid. I figured shit out because it was simple. A monkey could do it if they had an English dictionary.
Unfortunately those skills are worthless now or close to worthless.
Even if you were to set up a PBX system for a customer why would they bother buying the basically ready made solutions that you are reselling instead of going to a giant vendor that has economy of scale benefits meaning it's cheaper… also big name for normies = better service.
Back to the point of being able to do that too… reinstalling, tuneups, etc. a good current example would be that Rossmann guy that solders PCBs for macs. That is an order of magnitude higher in complexity than whatever else a "PC shop guy" did 10-20 years ago.
Could your average joe do that? Could I do that? Maybe, likely not.
Nobody would give this guy the time of day today.
Again I admit, I'm a fucking loser that wasted most of his life. I've been working now for quite a few years and looking for opportunities to somehow transition to a stable form of life that isn't tied to employment, but the opportunities just aren't there. Not any that are within reach.
This is amplified if you aren't in a big country…
My father for example is an electrician and has his own (inherited) fields and animals too. Recently he was forced to work as a subcontractor because work wasn't available in any other form anymore.
Basically wage or get bent. Legal/green bullshit also introduced during the pandemic forced him to cull or sell off his animals due to the price of doing everything by the book.
The small/medium players are being slowly made extinct and legally impossible to start without insane capital.
Am I completely wrong? Even the people in high places have been heralding the day of the culling of the useless eaters for decades now.
Most of the jobs today are being closed not because of AI but because a lot of it was just make-work adult daycare.
I'm worried and I just don't see a future for myself. I'm not really physically capable, hell maybe you can tell from this writing that I'm not a gigabrain guy either.
How do you guys feel about things?
I think there just isn't much of a place in the world for me.
If they don't drag my country into a war (eastern eu) I'll still likely end up homeless someday and starve to death.
I guess I got filtered. Many in the past got filtered too. It just feels a bit more unfair considering how fast things changed…
DISCLAIMER: I'm not advocating against the NEET lifestyle. I was basically a NEET for many years and I get most of you might be too. Unfortunately I couldn't stay one and have no means to become one again.
I'm sure many wizards are in similar position. Hell I'd be fine and eat the bugs if they gave me a comfy small room with a PC.
There isn't much left to do for the average, let alone those on the bottom.
I feel like a lot of people, especially older normies overestimate the abilities of the average guy and the problems that are out there to be solved in real life.There is this old guy I listened to for the past decade now called Eli the Computer Guy and he often repeats this mantra that a tech professional should go out there pick themselves up by their bootstraps and solve problems for money.
Solve real world problems for money. Provide solutions using your skills. Over and over again while teaching people about making toy cars with a microcomputer or whatever.
Issue is there aren't any problems the average guy is capable of solving that people are able to pay enough for to make it worthwhile.
Maybe I'm low IQ and not creative enough, but that is the point I guess.
The average guy that got a CS or engineering degree and is now doing menial tasks at a big corporation isn't going to create groundbreaking solutions because everything worth doing, all the low hanging fruit and obvious problem/solution pairs have been done to death, patented to death or worse.
Big tech is so big that they offer a solution so refined, so solid, so cheap that no mom-and-pop shop will ever give you the time of day if those even exist.
The average normie is quite content with a phone which is basically a toy-ified computer gadget.
They don't need more.
Most even run their own little business from it using a handful of cheap/free big tech tools that if you were to offer a homebrew solution for it would cost an arm and leg to maintain without economies of scale.
What does a network tech that wants to "solve problems" do aside from running cable? You could lease a 10G fiber line from a big ISP and sublet it by wiring up a small village I guess?
Then the government gives a huge fucking grant to big ISP and they just wire up every small village themselves leaving you with nothing.
If you are lucky you can become a subcontractor doing menial tasks for the big ISP in a set region.
What does the average coder do now? Especially with the future of them limiting hardware/software access? Every app is made that a normie needs. Kinda like with websites.
Every normie uses less than a dozen of them, mostly through apps…
Again I'm sure some 200IQ autist savant coders and engineers will solve major problems like they did coming up with AI and utilizing it, but really your average guy will be lucky if they can make something calling APIs of software made by these savants.
This old guy I mentioned talks about IVR systems, reinstalling "tuning up" windows XP computers and the like and you know what? I could do that too. I've the mental faculties to do that too.
I did that for myself when I was a kid. I figured shit out because it was simple. A monkey could do it if they had an English dictionary.
Unfortunately those skills are worthless now or close to worthless.
Even if you were to set up a PBX system for a customer why would they bother buying the basically ready made solutions that you are reselling instead of going to a giant vendor that has economy of scale benefits meaning it's cheaper… also big name for normies = better service.
Back to the point of being able to do that too… reinstalling, tuneups, etc. a good current example would be that Rossmann guy that solders PCBs for macs. That is an order of magnitude higher in complexity than whatever else a "PC shop guy" did 10-20 years ago.
Could your average joe do that? Could I do that? Maybe, likely not.
Nobody would give this guy the time of day today.
Again I admit, I'm a fucking loser that wasted most of his life. I've been working now for quite a few years and looking for opportunities to somehow transition to a stable form of life that isn't tied to employment, but the opportunities just aren't there. Not any that are within reach.
This is amplified if you aren't in a big country…
My father for example is an electrician and has his own (inherited) fields and animals too. Recently he was forced to work as a subcontractor because work wasn't available in any other form anymore.
Basically wage or get bent. Legal/green bullshit also introduced during the pandemic forced him to cull or sell off his animals due to the price of doing everything by the book.
The small/medium players are being slowly made extinct and legally impossible to start without insane capital.
Am I completely wrong? Even the people in high places have been heralding the day of the culling of the useless eaters for decades now.
Most of the jobs today are being closed not because of AI but because a lot of it was just make-work adult daycare.
I'm worried and I just don't see a future for myself. I'm not really physically capable, hell maybe you can tell from this writing that I'm not a gigabrain guy either.
How do you guys feel about things?
I think there just isn't much of a place in the world for me.
If they don't drag my country into a war (eastern eu) I'll still likely end up homeless someday and starve to death.
I guess I got filtered. Many in the past got filtered too. It just feels a bit more unfair considering how fast things changed…
DISCLAIMER: I'm not advocating against the NEET lifestyle. I was basically a NEET for many years and I get most of you might be too. Unfortunately I couldn't stay one and have no means to become one again.
I'm sure many wizards are in similar position. Hell I'd be fine and eat the bugs if they gave me a comfy small room with a PC.
R: 39 / I: 1
>The more I interact with the 3D world the more I just want to be left alone
I literally cannot win in this life
I am always worried about doing the wrong thing, I am always lamenting all of my errors of the past
I hardly actually live
The grass is always greener
>The more I seclude myself the more I long for human connection>The more I interact with the 3D world the more I just want to be left alone
I literally cannot win in this life
I am always worried about doing the wrong thing, I am always lamenting all of my errors of the past
I hardly actually live
R: 7 / I: 0
to me this is amazing and ballsey. i image most other mental health practitioners would not give you a one word answer to the question of how to have a healthy mind. i image they'd say that this is impossible to answer and that it depends and that an expert is needed.
Carl Jung
anyone here into studying carl jung by any chance? there is a lot i find fascinating about him but what impressed me the most is that he condensed his mental health strategy into a single word: integtation. implied in this is that each person has unconscious parts and by making those unconscious parts conscious, they no longer sabotage.to me this is amazing and ballsey. i image most other mental health practitioners would not give you a one word answer to the question of how to have a healthy mind. i image they'd say that this is impossible to answer and that it depends and that an expert is needed.
R: 23 / I: 0
NEETing with abusive parents.
Are there people here who don't have a job or don't get NEETbux and have to live with parents who are abusive and stupid as fuck but you just can't beat the crap out of them because you're dependent upon them?
R: 23 / I: 5
we must accept it. we are losers and society mocks us no matter what we do. we're not cool. we think we're cool because we are in a website where only virgin males are in and we circle jerk together. That's why we think we're superior to normalfags while in fact we're seen has failed people. you may feel as much superior as you like on wizchan but once out of the internet, you'll be mocked for being 30+ virgin male behind your back.
It sucks; being mocked and being. alower human being. even non-white are more successful than you and being racist doesn't change that. I think racism is a kind of cope people are because they're frustrated.
You can be as much succesful as you can be (rich, good job, house, beautiful car,etc…) like every other normalfags but at the end of the day when they'll ask you if you have a wife or a gf, and after you said never, they'll think something's wrong with you or you're gay.
Some wizards donnt give a fuck because they feel above all of that but those are, according too me, a übermensch bit it is a very rare case. so don't think you're one to please you're ego. I think the wizard übermensch has everything a normalfag has in life but is morally superior to them. those who uses this power to trashtalk others isn't a übermensch according to me because he does the same shit normalfags do to others to feel better. There's a lot of wizards who mock normalfags to feel better but at the end of the day it makes them look like as bad as normalfags. the übermensch is a rare case and I am 100% sure there's no übermensch wizard on here (or maybe 0,1%).
Anyway, I'm not making a thread about the wizardmensch because it would fit most on /wiz/ than /dep/. I'm making this thread on /dep/ because I'm sad and depressed being a failure. even failednormalfags mock us.
We're ugly and dumb. feel free to delete the thread mods, I don't care I'm sad. I don't want to push my narratives unto others. I know many wouldn't agree because they live a good life and don't care about what other people think or say about him, but I know most of the wizards suffer and that's why there's a /dep/ board…if it wasn't the case, tbis board wouldn't exist. wizards are sad. in fact I don't know why they're sad because they just have to live life luke anybody else; it's just they don't have a wife and kids but live life like everyone else on this earth. so why wizards aren't happy? Most if the time is life struggle like money or shitty job.
feel free to tell us why you're sad and why I'm wrong and talk out of my ass, I don't know anymore anyway.
I know, "talk for yourself" you would say to me and " stop projecting your insecurities unto other wizards", but I believe some wizard feel the same and we can share about that. Maybe I want someone to agree with me at least…
we must accept it. we are losers and society mocks us no matter what we do. we're not cool. we think we're cool because we are in a website where only virgin males are in and we circle jerk together. That's why we think we're superior to normalfags while in fact we're seen has failed people. you may feel as much superior as you like on wizchan but once out of the internet, you'll be mocked for being 30+ virgin male behind your back.
It sucks; being mocked and being. alower human being. even non-white are more successful than you and being racist doesn't change that. I think racism is a kind of cope people are because they're frustrated.
You can be as much succesful as you can be (rich, good job, house, beautiful car,etc…) like every other normalfags but at the end of the day when they'll ask you if you have a wife or a gf, and after you said never, they'll think something's wrong with you or you're gay.
Some wizards donnt give a fuck because they feel above all of that but those are, according too me, a übermensch bit it is a very rare case. so don't think you're one to please you're ego. I think the wizard übermensch has everything a normalfag has in life but is morally superior to them. those who uses this power to trashtalk others isn't a übermensch according to me because he does the same shit normalfags do to others to feel better. There's a lot of wizards who mock normalfags to feel better but at the end of the day it makes them look like as bad as normalfags. the übermensch is a rare case and I am 100% sure there's no übermensch wizard on here (or maybe 0,1%).
Anyway, I'm not making a thread about the wizardmensch because it would fit most on /wiz/ than /dep/. I'm making this thread on /dep/ because I'm sad and depressed being a failure. even failednormalfags mock us.
We're ugly and dumb. feel free to delete the thread mods, I don't care I'm sad. I don't want to push my narratives unto others. I know many wouldn't agree because they live a good life and don't care about what other people think or say about him, but I know most of the wizards suffer and that's why there's a /dep/ board…if it wasn't the case, tbis board wouldn't exist. wizards are sad. in fact I don't know why they're sad because they just have to live life luke anybody else; it's just they don't have a wife and kids but live life like everyone else on this earth. so why wizards aren't happy? Most if the time is life struggle like money or shitty job.
feel free to tell us why you're sad and why I'm wrong and talk out of my ass, I don't know anymore anyway.
I know, "talk for yourself" you would say to me and " stop projecting your insecurities unto other wizards", but I believe some wizard feel the same and we can share about that. Maybe I want someone to agree with me at least…
R: 27 / I: 1
>even the extrovert normalfags with an excellent social and sexual life are on multiple drugs and getting therapy
I'm absolutely done for, dude. Even my life improves, I'll still just be a monkey to the rest of them. Fuck.
>even the extrovert normalfags with an excellent social and sexual life are on multiple drugs and getting therapy
I'm absolutely done for, dude. Even my life improves, I'll still just be a monkey to the rest of them. Fuck.
R: 28 / I: 3
Sometimes I wish went to the mental hospital. Maybe things would’ve turned out differently. Maybe.
Sometimes I wish went to the mental hospital. Maybe things would’ve turned out differently. Maybe.
R: 285 / I: 20
Previous: >>307210
Depression Crawl Thread LXXV
The Time God does not forget nor forgive edition. You will do this again.Previous: >>307210
R: 36 / I: 2
Any low iq cels around?
Anyone experienced getting fired from almost all jobs they ever had? I’ve failed at almost everything I ever had and got insulted before. Has anyone expirienced something similar
R: 12 / I: 1
I wasted 12 years of my life being stuck in shitty apartment with my in a third world country
This includes all of my teen hood as well as a bit of my adulthood
After realizing this, I got depressed. I just wish I could have done more things that were more important to me, such as starting out drawing earlier and moving out of that shitty apartment. It just hurt how much time I wasted being terminally ill online while being stuck in hell.
I am not sure how to get over this. I have time. I am 23, but still knowing that my life could have been better in the 2010s and the early 2020s hurts me deeply. I wish I was smarter. I wish my mom was not a lazy whore who constantly smokes and eats, and she sold that fucking apartment earlier so we could find somewhere better for life.
I wasted 12 years of my life being stuck in shitty apartment with my in a third world country
This includes all of my teen hood as well as a bit of my adulthood
After realizing this, I got depressed. I just wish I could have done more things that were more important to me, such as starting out drawing earlier and moving out of that shitty apartment. It just hurt how much time I wasted being terminally ill online while being stuck in hell.
I am not sure how to get over this. I have time. I am 23, but still knowing that my life could have been better in the 2010s and the early 2020s hurts me deeply. I wish I was smarter. I wish my mom was not a lazy whore who constantly smokes and eats, and she sold that fucking apartment earlier so we could find somewhere better for life.
R: 40 / I: 5
I will die either institutionalized or in some shitty rental with nothing to my name. Nothing that I dreamed about will ever become true.
Do you still hope things can turn for the better?
I think age 31-32 was the point where I realized I'm too autistic and weird to ever have 'normal' things in life.I will die either institutionalized or in some shitty rental with nothing to my name. Nothing that I dreamed about will ever become true.
R: 17 / I: 3
Democracy is a failure because most people have no idea what they are voting for or what the consequences will be. They just follow the cultural memes. The internet has exacerbated this. Most people’s political views or views on the culture are just glorified SIX SEVEN repetitions - people have no good justification for any of the ideas they follow.
It might sound arrogant and supercilious to say these things. I worry that I am not that different and I just copy things sometimes by instinct. Makes me wonder if the self even fucking exists and we are just biological self replicating robots copying things.
Depressing. Enraging.
Conformity and imitation drives human behaviour
I have become increasingly depressed at the state of discourse about almost any subject. Look at the opinions of most people and discuss their reasoning with them; they do not really have reasons based on experience or logic. They are just saying things they think are normal to say. They imitate others. They understand the world through memes. Zero actual curiosity or critical thinking skills when it comes to discussion of politics/culture/history/science/art. Everyone just parrots what they think others think. They think in memes. Partly to fit in and achieve social acceptance and partly just monkey see monkey do like a child or animal.Democracy is a failure because most people have no idea what they are voting for or what the consequences will be. They just follow the cultural memes. The internet has exacerbated this. Most people’s political views or views on the culture are just glorified SIX SEVEN repetitions - people have no good justification for any of the ideas they follow.
It might sound arrogant and supercilious to say these things. I worry that I am not that different and I just copy things sometimes by instinct. Makes me wonder if the self even fucking exists and we are just biological self replicating robots copying things.
Depressing. Enraging.
R: 47 / I: 3
I'm suicidal but I avoid any medical help precisely for this reason.
Antipsychiatry General
I've seen this discussed in many threads so I made a thread for it. Many wizzies had had their life destroyed by psychiatric medication be it SSRI's, antipsychotics, benzodiazepines or others. A psych ward stay tends to leave you worse off. Some people get abused in psychiatric institutions. Mentioning you are sad and thinking about suicide to a doctor or nurse can get you forcefully restrained and tranquilised.I'm suicidal but I avoid any medical help precisely for this reason.
R: 14 / I: 0
Other people make my life unhappy and miserable
I just wanna be left alone
What is worse then having to fight with other people toget what you want every step of the way
Other people make my life unhappy and miserable
I just wanna be left alone
What is worse then having to fight with other people toget what you want every step of the way
R: 311 / I: 43
previous>>296811
Wageslave General
You will still be stuck browsing this thread in 2026 editionprevious>>296811
R: 19 / I: 0
it's been like 2 years since i started living with her , a pathetic evil 80 year old zombie who is despised by her own sons and daughters , no body spends above 5 minutes with her , she treated her sons and daughters like slaves and treated them horribly when they was young and still does
she tries to do the same with me but i have anger issues and i always make her regret fucking with me , but Its all so tiresome .
and to make matters worse she smells like piss , which makes me want to vomit , a disgusting pig rotting in her black room all day waiting for death , with everybody waiting , i always pray to god that she dies so i could live peacefully in this place and my room peacefully without having to deal with this hell , also leaving is not an option unfortunately .
living with a vile hag is the worst nightmare possible , i wish i lived with worms instead.
Overwhelming Rage
I live with a disgusting hag who is supposed to be my grandma , this bitch is the worst whore i have ever seen in my life ,it's been like 2 years since i started living with her , a pathetic evil 80 year old zombie who is despised by her own sons and daughters , no body spends above 5 minutes with her , she treated her sons and daughters like slaves and treated them horribly when they was young and still does
she tries to do the same with me but i have anger issues and i always make her regret fucking with me , but Its all so tiresome .
and to make matters worse she smells like piss , which makes me want to vomit , a disgusting pig rotting in her black room all day waiting for death , with everybody waiting , i always pray to god that she dies so i could live peacefully in this place and my room peacefully without having to deal with this hell , also leaving is not an option unfortunately .
living with a vile hag is the worst nightmare possible , i wish i lived with worms instead.
R: 2 / I: 0
I didn't realize why I was stressed, depressed, and weak from the beginning of junior high and high school until graduation. I missed four years of school because I had already graduated. I didn't realize that all of that stress, depression, and weakness from the start occurred because during that time I was suffering from a chronic infection in my wisdom tooth, which had already erupted. And yes, I recently went to the hospital for a checkup and learned that I had a chronic infection in my lower jaw, in the area where the wisdom tooth had erupted. I researched the risks on Google and Chatgpt, and it turns out that chronic infections in wisdom teeth that have erupted are indeed fatal and death.
Me and Grim Reaper
All this time, I was with the grim reaper without realizing it.I didn't realize why I was stressed, depressed, and weak from the beginning of junior high and high school until graduation. I missed four years of school because I had already graduated. I didn't realize that all of that stress, depression, and weakness from the start occurred because during that time I was suffering from a chronic infection in my wisdom tooth, which had already erupted. And yes, I recently went to the hospital for a checkup and learned that I had a chronic infection in my lower jaw, in the area where the wisdom tooth had erupted. I researched the risks on Google and Chatgpt, and it turns out that chronic infections in wisdom teeth that have erupted are indeed fatal and death.
R: 28 / I: 3
I have been staring at my .60 cent retirement plan, and am not sure if I would just like to go out and just have everyone guessing. Or if its right to leave a note. Most of my family thinks I am useless or lazy. However they have no introspection on that they are the ones who raised me.
Leave a note or not
What is everyones thoughts on leaving a suicide note? Is it necessary for closure for others? A way to get everything off your chest before you ack? Or just a waste of time?I have been staring at my .60 cent retirement plan, and am not sure if I would just like to go out and just have everyone guessing. Or if its right to leave a note. Most of my family thinks I am useless or lazy. However they have no introspection on that they are the ones who raised me.
R: 11 / I: 1
Does anybody have younger cousins that come and see your subhumanish existance and belittle you. They live ordinary simple lives and constantly lifemog you by just their existence. The only pluses with my cousins is that they live far away.
Does anybody have younger cousins that come and see your subhumanish existance and belittle you. They live ordinary simple lives and constantly lifemog you by just their existence. The only pluses with my cousins is that they live far away.
R: 3 / I: 0
My mistakes have ruined my life and i dont know how to live with it, i am hated by everyone and therefore i also hate everyone. The government doesnt have my best interests in mind, as a matter of fact it seems to be doing everything to make my already crappy life even worse, thats why i refuse to shake hands with police and government workers, they dont respect me so they dont deserve my respect.
I am still young but that doesnt make anything better, i know for a fact that every day that awaits me in the future will be pure torture so i lack motivation to do anything.
My mistakes have ruined my life and i dont know how to live with it, i am hated by everyone and therefore i also hate everyone. The government doesnt have my best interests in mind, as a matter of fact it seems to be doing everything to make my already crappy life even worse, thats why i refuse to shake hands with police and government workers, they dont respect me so they dont deserve my respect.
I am still young but that doesnt make anything better, i know for a fact that every day that awaits me in the future will be pure torture so i lack motivation to do anything.
R: 52 / I: 3
>Too nervous to talk to anyone and make friends
>Become a lurker and feel sad when I see others make connections and friends
>end up leaving the server
Any tips to help stop this dilemma?
Chronically online and chronically alone
>Join discord server>Too nervous to talk to anyone and make friends
>Become a lurker and feel sad when I see others make connections and friends
>end up leaving the server
Any tips to help stop this dilemma?
R: 21 / I: 3
It's a weird sinking feeling, thinking of the unimaginable.
People have died around me and I felt nothing, but then again I'm not an overly emotive or emotional person.
I still can't cope with death as a concept. I don't want to cease experiencing. I'd genuinely prefer hell to oblivion.
I screwed myself, my health because of a lack of attachments and care for things in general and I'm at the age where recovery is getting harder even if I try.
Mitigation is a more realistic goal if I don't already have something terminal, hopefully. (29)
How do you guys cope? I see so many people here talking about suicide and I just can't fathom it.
I suffer from many chronic ailments, pain, tinnitus (really severe) and much else. I had many absolutely horrid experiences during childhood and youth.
I have no real connection to my broken family, no connection to pretty much anyone or anything. Never loved or felt loved by anyone, not even family.
I don't pursue hobbies I'm a man of inaction. I can't even force myself to do things I supposedly enjoy.
I have one friend I talk to online exclusively in text and meaningless time wasting activities, consuming media, manga/manhua mostly.
It's a pointless life. Wasted.
Based on all of this I should probably be suicidal, but I'm the opposite. I'd be content being a specter just observing things too. I just want to persist.
I don't want this to end, I don't want to end.
I'm terrified. Sure I'm sick, in pain, constantly depressed or anxious, generally a failure, but I don't want to be gone.
How do you deal with the inevitability of death?
Honestly I'm not convinced about any kind of afterlife. The more I read about any religion the harder it becomes to put any stock into any of them.
I just don't get this "I'm exhausted… I'm in so much pain… I've suffered enough.. It won't get better… I just want it to end" kind of feelings many have.
Maybe everyone here is some enlightened Buddhist without an ego or something. I really can't fathom it. Or maybe some just want the comfort of being able to end it anytime?
Share your thoughts please.
I don't want to die
Every time I think of death, the end of my self I can feel my brain fighting it, pretty much actively trying to shut down.It's a weird sinking feeling, thinking of the unimaginable.
People have died around me and I felt nothing, but then again I'm not an overly emotive or emotional person.
I still can't cope with death as a concept. I don't want to cease experiencing. I'd genuinely prefer hell to oblivion.
I screwed myself, my health because of a lack of attachments and care for things in general and I'm at the age where recovery is getting harder even if I try.
Mitigation is a more realistic goal if I don't already have something terminal, hopefully. (29)
How do you guys cope? I see so many people here talking about suicide and I just can't fathom it.
I suffer from many chronic ailments, pain, tinnitus (really severe) and much else. I had many absolutely horrid experiences during childhood and youth.
I have no real connection to my broken family, no connection to pretty much anyone or anything. Never loved or felt loved by anyone, not even family.
I don't pursue hobbies I'm a man of inaction. I can't even force myself to do things I supposedly enjoy.
I have one friend I talk to online exclusively in text and meaningless time wasting activities, consuming media, manga/manhua mostly.
It's a pointless life. Wasted.
Based on all of this I should probably be suicidal, but I'm the opposite. I'd be content being a specter just observing things too. I just want to persist.
I don't want this to end, I don't want to end.
I'm terrified. Sure I'm sick, in pain, constantly depressed or anxious, generally a failure, but I don't want to be gone.
How do you deal with the inevitability of death?
Honestly I'm not convinced about any kind of afterlife. The more I read about any religion the harder it becomes to put any stock into any of them.
I just don't get this "I'm exhausted… I'm in so much pain… I've suffered enough.. It won't get better… I just want it to end" kind of feelings many have.
Maybe everyone here is some enlightened Buddhist without an ego or something. I really can't fathom it. Or maybe some just want the comfort of being able to end it anytime?
Share your thoughts please.
R: 13 / I: 1
146 KB JPG
shy but sometimes did things that made kids laugh. what i began to
notice was sometimes id cross the line.whether it was being repetitive with a joke or something kids would get mad. There was a kid, Cam who was new to the school.He had good looks was good at basketball and was probably fucking horrible grades (assuming he got help from others which i saw a lot). after awhile i didnt do that well at getting other kids attention so id start to do annoying things to get some type of reaction.i would get in trouble or get told off by peers when i did these things. when cameron did them he faced little to no pushback or accountability. he also was i guess really close with a female teacher we had and i saw her let him off the hook for things i would be sent off for thousands of fucking times. i cant stand this shit seeing it almost daily it makes me so fucking tired of these sheep retards who let him do things i cant just because im not as good looking or good at some silly sport.
A kind of put together rant i made about my school life
i also noticed this in other areas of life even family events people tend to target me for wrongdoings but others do similar things and they face no repercussions.A good example of this is in middle school. I was pretty146 KB JPG
shy but sometimes did things that made kids laugh. what i began to
notice was sometimes id cross the line.whether it was being repetitive with a joke or something kids would get mad. There was a kid, Cam who was new to the school.He had good looks was good at basketball and was probably fucking horrible grades (assuming he got help from others which i saw a lot). after awhile i didnt do that well at getting other kids attention so id start to do annoying things to get some type of reaction.i would get in trouble or get told off by peers when i did these things. when cameron did them he faced little to no pushback or accountability. he also was i guess really close with a female teacher we had and i saw her let him off the hook for things i would be sent off for thousands of fucking times. i cant stand this shit seeing it almost daily it makes me so fucking tired of these sheep retards who let him do things i cant just because im not as good looking or good at some silly sport.
R: 45 / I: 6
I basically don't feel pleasure from anything except food, maybe. Stories, games, art don't really touch me at all and it sucks because I remember how much I loved escapism before and how it brought excitement, joy, sadness etc. Now it's all blank. I want to bring emotions back, want to bring excitement, joy, even sweet sadness would do honestly, I miss being profoundly sad.
Have any of you managed to revert to your older non-anhedonic self?
Anhedonia
How do you guys fight anhedonia? Do you have any experience with it?I basically don't feel pleasure from anything except food, maybe. Stories, games, art don't really touch me at all and it sucks because I remember how much I loved escapism before and how it brought excitement, joy, sadness etc. Now it's all blank. I want to bring emotions back, want to bring excitement, joy, even sweet sadness would do honestly, I miss being profoundly sad.
Have any of you managed to revert to your older non-anhedonic self?