Losing HopeI think this may be the end of the road for me.
Bad luckDoes anyone think they have bad luck?
Wageslave GeneralAnother day, another edition
Prison?Why do I want to go to prison? I'm an autistic neet with OCD. The idea of excessive structure really appeals to me. I also want to meet someone who will take me under their wing and teach me to be hard. I'm 5'7 and 255 pounds. I think I would do well in prison. Why do I want this? What mental illness do I have?
End of the Wizards: Outside Looking InThe gatekeepers are dead and we're staring down the barrel.
sleep deprivationHas anyone else gone long periods on inadequate sleep? I'd imagine this board is full of insomniac wizzes. My story:
delaying the inevitable>zoomer, turning 21 in a couple weeks
Facing the eternal voidHow do I cope with eternal non-existence? Can i learn to Embrace it? Will some kind of quantum immortality save me?
CatchMy mother caught me about to overdose last night. She cried and hugged me. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to upset her despite the shit she's put me through, but I can't take existence. Nothing is going right. The only thing keeping me sane is h, and I'm so deep in debt that I can't afford more. I want to close my eyes and have the world disappear. I want to surf through my own ideal, surrounded by joy. I've lost so much.
the non-depressed wizards on /lounge/ just havent been at it long enoughi saw this thread >>>/lounge/275733 and i used to be the same way and i thought every day was a blessing to be alive and i LOVED playing video games and eating food. i was happy pretty much every single day starting at age 16 when i dropped out of high school.
hopes and dreamsTaking a huge dose of oxycodone (real shit, not street). 20% of ODing and dying. I'm a fiend, in case you're assuming I magically got this shit in front of my hands randomly.
Love youWizard brothers, if I were to kill myself or accidentally overdose.
anti depressiondepressed people are shit. they are doing it to themselves without realizing. they keep making fun of "just stop doing it" mentality like it was bad advice. with this they perpetually reinforce their own powerlessness by reaffirming, that they have no control over how they feel.
Therapy threadAnything related to therapy cna go here >///<
post your hardest black pills>most people are parasites on society, most normies will never even pay society back for their schooling
SuicideMy 33rd birthday in a month, but im deciding to check out early.
afraid to go outsideIs anyone else actually afraid to go outside? It seems like most wizards here are just depressed, or too depressed to do things. Is there anyone else here that isn't depressed but is just too afraid/paranoid to go outside? More than shy or socially anxious, literally afraid to step out your door. I've had so many public breakdowns now in my life that my parents don't even bother forcing me outside anymore.
I am too naive, I lost all of my savingsI know this will sound fun to a lot of you. My thread might also be deleted since it has no other purpose than talking about me. You can talk about yourself on that thread as well.
Stuck living like a permanent childI've been living as a shut in neet since I was a preteen. I'm now in my late 30's and I still basically live like a kid. I'm not on disability and live with no income or allowance, no healthcare, I can't drive, I've never had a job before, never had any kind of relationship before real or egirl, kissless virgin, no friends. I can't go anywhere without being driven there by my parent and he doesn't take me anywhere except the grocery store. I've been trying to get him to take me to the library for about 7 years now but he won't do it.
Law of AttractionHave you guys read about the law of attraction and auto-suggestion? Authors like Napoleon Hill, Joseph Murphy, Bob Proctor and others. Many sages and gurus have stated that we are what we usually think. The law of attraction says that we attract what suits our state of vibration. Autosuggestion is the process that we can reprogram our subconscious mind with positive or negative affirmations and thoughts, if they are felt to be true in our imagination, they will eventually happen in the course of life. In short, we are co-creators of our reality. Do you believe it? Based on this we can leave the wizard state in the positive sense or at least live as a comfy wizard without depression. On the negative side, if someone falls into the utter emptiness of life, he can nourish suicidal thoughts in his mind at a point where that becomes his inevitable fate.
legit retarded relativesAnyone else have a legit retard in their family? I don't mean as an insult like "haha he's dumb", but for real.
should i get back on ssris?i was on them a couple years ago because i had ocd. i also was depressed, but i thought it was weak and cuck shit to take meds for depression. so i stopped when i got over my ocd. but now after a couple years things arent looking so good. i am anxious and stressed all the time, but too depressed to do anything about it. i am in college and failing all my classes. i moved out after i stopped taking ssris and now i am isolated from my parents who are the only ones who love me and care about me in the cruel and unforgiving world of normalcattle. i have always been a loner so i thought i would be able to handle it. but it has just been so brutal and ruthless for me and has left me bereft of any drive to do anything but ldar. my head has turned to mush and it is just impossible for me to care about stem shit when you know that the only thing that awaits you is the rat race.
Cognitive DeclineI feel like my memory and fluid intelligence is just going to shit. I can barely retain any new information. Literally just remembering a new word or something is so hard it takes so many repetitions to get it to stick and then I forget it the next day. Both my grandparents got Alzheimer's really bad so I know I likely have it in my genes.
i tried everythingi have tried everything with my life , nothing works out . in the end everything collapses on my head
Dead Parentslost my father when i was 21 , live whit bedridden grandmother for decade , and just now my mother died ,i have noone,have no inheritance ,norelatives because i do not have bio parents im just picked from the streets just great, feels like Guts i cant conecnt to noone, feel odd,maybe im FREE now
RuinSo we all know equality is a scam, and the economy is a pyramid scheme, so how do you cope trying to find security in an inherently unsafe world?
Anxiety and paranoia ruining my lifeI haven’t been able to consistently leave the house for the past 8 years, you know how people say “things get easier the more you do them”? Well it’s the complete opposite for me, the more I am involved in a public place such as trying to get an education the more the paranoia builds, until I can’t take going there any more. I am 26 years old an I have never had a job and I have no education beyond highschool and some random college classes I managed to get through with heavy medication.
Nearly never enjoyed vidyaAnyone here not play vidya? My parents were too poor to afford vidya for me when I was a kid so I never really got into it. The best I had was a gameboy and some freeware PC games. I know it's a huge facet of many wizards' lives, and I wish I could fit in in regards to this. I'm trying to get into gaming now, but I think it's too late, I don't really enjoy anything anymore despite being a wage slave but I have no time or energy for vidya. Does anyone else relate?
Finally doing itI am in pain, no need to describe it. I am your fellow wizard brother and I want you to help me get rid of this pain. I am calling YOU for help here.
HateEvery time I've asked someone if they dislike me the answer is always:
Is everything just LARP?So many things people say about personalities just seem so retarded and LARPy and just seem like they are masturbating over themselves because they’ve been on too much social media.
WhatWhat does it mean to succeed in life?Why do people keep shoving this in my face without even explaining what this means?I don't know why i care about it either and why i should succeed.My brain must be brainwashed because it makes me feel bad for something i don't know,something it thinks i have to do.I don't want to care about any of this,i just want to only be interested in my games,anime and work my comfy job.Why must my subconcious torment me daily and make me feel bad what am i supposed to do?How can i stop it from talking?How can i reach mental peace?I don't want to succeed or do anything i just want to do my own things until i am prepared to kill myself without being bothered or tortured by my own brain.Please help me how can i make this pain go away
How do I cope with the past?I am 22 years old and have literally spent on/off the last seven or so years trying to cope with the way I was insulted and mocked by nearly everyone in class,including literal succubus, whislt I just quietly sat there, taking the brunt of it. I would go into depth regarding my situation, but I don't want to be humiliated anyfurther.
Torture/reincarnationWhat do you guys think of reincarnation? Of the possibility that existence might be sadistic enough to force us back into the game endlessly? I honestly would not put it past reality to do such a thing. Imagine reincarnating as an infant that chokes to death on his umbilical cord at birth. Or perhaps a dog being skinned alive by gooks before being thrown into a pot of scalding liquid. Maybe you'll end up as an oblivious rich person who is so protected from the world that he has no idea that such things even happen. I often wonder about such things. The sheer amount of torture technology that's been devised from the human mind is astounding. Maybe I'm just focusing too much on the negative? Look at all of the beauty humanity has achieved through artistic masterpiece and technology! What other species has managed to escape the floor of earth? I think this would be a cool topic for the /dep/ board to discuss, I like disturbing feelings. I want to see this thread crawling with horror and madness and unhappiness; make it reek like a death pit, wizards! I want to hurt some people!
Self-medicating through foodDo you ever self-medicate depression through eating food?
Just a general questionI mean I already know there’s a suicide thread but I needed quick answers/opinions from different wizards who may or may not obtain the necessary knowledge to guide me through my exiting plan involving the method of overdosing on a combination of prescription and non-prescription medications, DXM, and alcohol. I, know it’s the “pussiest” and least possible way of holding a chance of working-out but I’m in the third world, I do not have access to guns, fentanyl, heroin and most drugs that could actually make a legit effect with the aforementioned combination, but like I said I’m denied access to guns by country’s laws and I’m in a Muslim majority country where drugs are a strong taboo and require a huge freaking amount of connections with people who are already drug addicts and as you might have already guessed guys I’m a wizard or else I would’ve asked one of my connections to hook me up with a drug dealer right? However, I have access to trains and hanging, I’m too trained for hanging though it requires a vast amount of time to plan it in the right way at the right place&time and honestly I don’t want my parents and siblings to see my hanging corpse, a crooked out one on the ground would be far less of a horrible scene “imo”. And death by trains/cliffs/high-places causes a escalation of social media debate of religious people whether they’re Christians or Muslims that develops into a racial-debate about the copts being the natives of Egypt and islamic people being a bunch of colonizers (yeah I’m Egyptian) and of course the atheists take place and defend the suicidal person, saying it’s a human right and get into massive debates with the religious people. This happened with almost every person who died by heights and trains heres then his corpse was discovered later on and be dissected and classified as a suicide case, if you died by your hands here and you weren’t covered up and quickly buried by your parents/friends/relatives or whoever the fuck, your whole family’s members get fucked for life, especially in the neighborhood they live in. And for sure I want to avoid bringing any unnecessary additional burdens to my family, my death is of a big enough cause of remorse to them. So, as I’ve explained my options and situation, could you support me through this wizzies? I really cannot see no other place on the internet where I can find people who don’t think suicide is a taboo and is so shunned. All I have is, 120 pill of 0.5mg Xanax, 30 pill of 7.5 mg of a scheduled sleeping-medication it’s called zopiclone/hypnor the trade name in Egypt. A combination of antidepressants,antipsychotics, lithium, and paracetamol, around 400 pill or so. 20 bottles of 120mg DXM, 10mg DXM in each 5ml and a tablet of one hundred pill of a strong antiemetic combined with a injection/ampule of the same antiemetic, and lastly 4 liters of 10-15-20% alcohol bottles.
/drugs/Any of you use any drugs to cope with life and depression
TIPS AND TRICKSI wrote this a while back and never found the occassion to post it. Here it is. I guess…add your own tips and tricks, I guess.
What actually happens when we get old?To clarify by old I mean as old as boomers or older.
2brainlet4codingI haven't given up yet, but I know I'm not getting very far.
End of the Wizards III : Who comes after us?Looking back at the last two threads there seems to be somewhat of a general consensus that we've come to some kind of …impasse(?), that if we're not the last wizard, we will be the last wizards of our kind.
I can't even speak to the opposite sexFor about 4 years now I have spoken to a female zero times when ever I am approached by a female which I pretty rare I can't even say hi. I am basically a mute when females are around. The reason for me not being able to talk to females is extreme mental trauma from middle and high school from females that would harass me and bully me for years. All I can think about when a female approaches me are those bully's from high school. I really don't know what to do at this point.
Lack of Skills/Failed AmbitionsGetting older really sucks. It is not comfy. Feel like my mind and body are declining. Worst of all is the loss of potential. When you are 8 years old anything is possible. You could train football for 8 hours a day from the age of 10 and work on diet, get spotted a club, go to a special school and become a football player.
Paranoia/WorryDoes anyone else constantly worry?
At what age can you not turn your life around?>29
Sick and old>Be a wizard
Joining the armyAny wizards considered joining the military in some form?
Fat ManAny obese wizards here, how is society still treating you?
Despairing LaughAnyone else has the habit of laughing out of despair?
Soft exclusionThroughout my life I have never really experienced any traumatic events or bullying, so I was wondering why is it that I am so fucked up? I thought about it and have come to the conclusion that my basic lack of self confidence and avoidant tendencies stem from something I think of as "soft exclusion". Hard exclusion would be the traumatic experience where some bully insults you and teases you and explicitly excludes you from activities you try to participate in with them. Soft exclusion on the other hand is exclusion that happens behind the scenes simply by people not inviting you to participate in activities that go outside of what everyone is forced to participate in.
Overcoming mediocre resultsI can not be mediocre or worst at things, it makes me feel a lot of guilt and shame.
everything is a burdenfor the longest time, every time i have to leave my computer to go somewhere and do something, all im thinking about is how much it sucks and how much i want to go back to my room. like every time i have school work or go to my job, im just thinking about when i can come back and play vidya and masturbate to cartoons. and every time this is interrupted by something, like when i have to get ready to go to bed, i am extremely irritated. and its funny, because whenever i do have a ton of time on my hands, i usually just waste it all away and get really depressed that i still have to be awake for 12 more hours
Is anyone here a thinker?Just curious.
pls respondI considered myself a "veteran". Been through multiple suicide attempts, survived being by myself most of my adult life, survived being temporarily homess, survived mental institutions, survived almost going to jail, survived heavy drug abuse, survived countless overdoses.
Snapped in May 2020; now have chronic insomnia90% of the time I sleep, I wake up after 4 hours. Sometimes I can fall back asleep and get another 4 hours, but a lot of the time, like right now, I know it’s futile.