New hereHi /dep/
Depression Crawl Thread LIVPost here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
How do you stop self-pitying?Found this image when searching for "self-pity" and thought it was fitting.
Gamer rage?Anyone else made the mistake of getting into online games with depression?
Chronic Pain/illness threadThis is a thread dedicated to those poor souls among us who battle with chronic pain or illness alongside mental illness.
Drugs & alcohol general #2It's not a secret that lots of wizards abuse alcohol and/or drugs for any reason (i.e. to cope), some might even consider themselves alcoholics and/or drug addicts. Using is a big part of our lives and we should have a space to express our daily experience.
Fat wizardsHow many amongst you has ever tried any special diet to solve his weight issues? How many succeeded? How many did fail? I found this man: https://youtube.com/@metabolismotv-officialchan1134 whose fans constantly claim great results by merely changing what they eat and adding some particular tips from his videos. He is quite weird to hear since he also criticises typical weight loss diets like keto and atkins. I also found many other topics apart from that in his channel, thought you'd find him useful
craving social interactionWhy do I crave social interaction when I know that I am best to be left alone? Why do I feel envious when I see normies walking and laughing in groups? Is this my social human instincts rebelling against my destiny of seclusion? How can I get rid of these urges?
BrainfogAfter many years we need to have another brainfog fix thread. Please only post things that have actually worked for you and no schizo stuff.
Hope GeneralI didn't subscribe to the wizardly ideals just to end up with the same depression like failed normalfags. We can do better.
Depression and selfHonestly as time goes on and I get older the more I find validation in my own missery. I have been depressed for so long that it became a part of me. I can't imagine myself as a happy or just conformist guy. It's part of my character to always be grumpy. I'm also pretty edgy and don't feel shame on it. We live in a post-ironic world where it's always wrong to experience negative thoughts. But honestly I feel even more rebellious, grim and depressed than when I was a teen. I take pride in being a depressed loser. That's who I am and nothing will change that. Depression is part of who I am.
Are there wizards here who share a room with somebody?I'm a 25yo loser who share a room with my brother and let me tell you, he's the most annoying faggot on earth.
Psych WardAnyone here went to a psych ward before? How was your experience there? I went 2 years ago because I was abusing alcohol and prescribed pills but realized I was almost dead from overdosing, so I told my psychiatrist and the very same day I was at the hospital. Stayed there for like a week and was a good experience overall. I felt like I had a purpose. I meditate, read, wrote in my notebook… It was overall an edifying experience. I'm even thinking on going back because I'm feeling like shit lately, plus started doing self harm some weeks ago. What about you, wizzies?
31 and no skillsHow do I stop thinking about my lost years?
utter self hatredI don't think I have a happy memory that involves leaving my room. Most of my life has been spent in front of a glowing box. I didn't even particularly like it. I don't have anything worth talking to anyone about. And now I'm so depressed I don't even want to play games. I could have had a good life, or I could have had a shitty life. But instead I had no life. I threw away my chance before I even had it. At least most meth addicts had lives before they started smoking meth. At least most meth addicts had a reason to start smoking meth. I didn't have abusive parents. I didn't grow up poor. I didn't get shoved into lockers and given swirlies and pantsed. I didn't get beat up. But I almost wish I did. I almost wish I knew why I was so miserable today. Such a shell of a person. Instead, I have to wonder what it was that made me so "weird." What made me prefer spending all my time in my room playing video games and browsing imageboards? What lead to me being here, in front of my computer, high as shit, typing this faggy message to a bunch of other losers on an imageboard?
C-PTSD, Third World, Poverty, Studying, and wanting to be Saved.I live in a country [India] where the only real upwards mobility, or hell just not starving is a pretty big achievement in and of itself is only possible by having good grades. It is extremely uncommon to kick your children out here, not because of love but because of the "standing" of a family in the society, to leave your house is to be disrespectful to your parents for not being their slaves for the rest of your life.
ProcrastinationIt ruined my life. Why do I tell myself that I learned my lesson only to repeat the same mistake again and make my life harder for no reason? I can't even enjoy the "free" time I spend not doing the task because the task is in the back of my mind. Procrastinating doing the task just makes it harder and may come with monetary, opportunity or health loss. It makes no logical sense. I feel like an idiot because I don't learn.
I dont hate myselfI don't hate myself. I hate the modern world. I hate the superficial relations people form. I hate that you're expected to be insincere and inauthentic as a normal mode of operation.
How do you get over body dysphoriaReligion, working out, self-care, etc. Every step I took I could not take myself seriously or I'd over obsess perfection and progress.
Anti-Suicide GeneralThe purpose of this thread is to counter the general tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads. This thread will therefore feature practical advice about reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.
Getting irritated by sex stuffThis is something I never really understood about myself but ever since I can remember I've been getting extremely irritated by being involuntarily exposed to normie sex stuff to the point where I feel intense rage or severe discomfort, it's things such as sex scenes in movies, sexual memes, pornographic lyrics in music or people talking about sex in public and social media. It just instantly irritates me like nothing else. I've been feeling like this since I was like 8-10 years old and I wonder if anyone else knows what I mean.
HighschoolWhat was highschool like for you guys? I feel like highschool shaped me into who I am and not in a good way. Constantly getting the shit kicked out of me and being laughed at by my female peers is what set me on the path of wizardy to begin with, but I guess I can't complain, a friend of mine from Russia got cigarettes put out on him at school. The worst part is parents and teachers harping on about how those are the best years of your life. Maybe for the genetically gifted, I guess I didn't deserve to have the "best years of my life"
How to let go of ego?I realized that my ego is a big reason for my lack of progress. It sounds silly to have an ego when you have no talents or accomplishments but by just experiencing life from my first person perspective and having self-awareness gives me a certain feeling of self-importance. The thing is that I'm aware of it and yet can't let go.
Sickness, lack of heathI came to conclusion that we, human beings are weaklings, when we have some health's problems. Yesterday, I ate soup and within one minute I vomited it all and felt so fucking weak and tired, so I just laid on the floor and felt asleep and I slept for 4 hours. I slept on the floor, like some animal, like dog.
Asholes who speak with superiorityLot of people in my life said to me something, but in reality the sense of their words is like that:
How to regain confidence in yourself?Any time I am thinking about improving myself I look back on YEARS of non-existent discipline and passed opportunities. I think about learning something and then remember how every time I tried in the past I quickly stopped. At this point I feel like I am physically incapable of anything but lying in bed and sitting on my computer distracting myself to not have to exercise focus, thought or be confronted with hard bitter truths which just get more bitter the more years I spend doing nothing. It just feels like there is something fundamentally lacking in me. Like the discipline switch is defective and can't be turned on. Even when I hear from someone who suffers from severe health problems accomplishing something instead of feeling inspired I just feel even worse about myself not doing anything. I have 0 accomplishments that I can look at as proof "I can do something".
How do Normies manage it??Recently i've been playing a lot of dating sims and it showed me how apathetic i am about human relations, i'm so distant and incompatible with other people worldview (especially succubis), how do others Sub 8 at my age have so many friends and already had engaged in multiple relationships?
Joining a Church?Any of the wizkin here ever seriously considered joining a church? I have been thinking about it but do not know how I would go about it…not to mention being unsure if I actually believe in Christianity. At least a church offers some sense of community…it must be better than total isolation.
Entering NEETHello wizards,
Being depressed because I can't smoke weed anymoreI miss being a pothead so much. All day chilling and feeling good while listening to music… I miss that. I can't smoke weed anymore because I think I developed schizophrenia after a psychotic episode I had after sniffing some shitty cocaine (ended up in a mental hospital for 15 days). Every time I tried weed after that episode, I didn't get the usual effects, just felt really awful, confused and paranoid.
Last Time You Were HappyThe last time I actually felt happy was when I was 8 or 9. Everything I consider "good" is only good by virtue of being marginally less shitty than everything else out there. The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I'm scared of death and want to believe I can be "happy" again. Weed is probably the closest I will get to that childlike feeling, but it makes me even more miserable and retarded when I'm sober so I know I have to stop smoking it
Does anyone else here suffer from boredom/tedium as if it was a disease?I don't like games. I don't watch Youtube. I read once in a while, but most of the time books bore me. Movies bore me. Music bores me.
ExerciseAny of you work out or exercise? Lets have a discussion about it
Definitive method of suicideI see that there are many people here who hate themselves, who want to stop suffering and end their existence once and for all. Well, I was reflecting a bit on what is the best method, and I came to the conclusion that among all the methods that exist, this is one of the best, if not the best, since it is free of all pain, since you lived a lifetime in pain doesn't have to mean a death in the same way. Returning to the topic of interest, these are medicines, pills that you can get anywhere, but mainly pharmacies, although there are many people who sell them without a prescription because it is something common. That yes, they can be expensive but a small cost for a great benefit. If you really want to stop suffering, allow yourself to feel some emotion, end your conscience, and everything you are as a person, then I highly recommend it. that you take "citalopram", it depends a lot on the person, but in general with 40mg you can end everything at once, but if you add an enhancer like oralzapine there if it is a lethal dose for your person, half the pill will suffice the lowest dose. Of course you're going to need a prescription from somewhere, and money, but it shouldn't be a problem in your situation, just go to any mental health doctor and tell him about your problem, he'll prescribe it like candy, or whatever. In any case, he will recommend other powerful drugs that fall into the SSRI category. With this method you make sure that you are not yourself, that you are dead in life, where you are "alive" on the outside, but what is your person, your being, and everything that makes you die, including your problems, fears. , anguish, low self-esteem, etc., but empathy, happiness, any aspiration you have will also disappear, it is in definition the death of the person. You will basically live like a carefree dog that just eats, shits and sleeps.
This made my day.https://archive.org/details/3085905aaa-3ccf-6b-14d
How do I stop living on autopilot?It keeps happening to me. I have a moment where I am in shock over how much time I wasted or I get into an argument with my parents . I keep asking myself: "how could I have let things get this bad?" and then I realize it's because I then go back to my routine and distractions without changing anything. Of course this will keep happening like this.
What do about high happiness threshold?This is the reason why I can't get anything done.
Not being interested in anythingDoes anyone else struggle with this?
Rambling my way out of depressionThe knot of my depression problem is doublefold, one is purely subjective, and the other is objective. Let me explain.
/dep/ discriminationI don't think some of the posters here recognize that you can be a proud wizard and still be depressed. I'm not depressed BECAUSE I am a wizard, I'm depressed AND I'm a wizard. Depression affects wizards, normalfags, and crabs alike. The word would be infinitely better if this disease were eradicated, the same way it would be better if cancer were eradicated. And yet every time I tell someone I am depressed, they try to "fix" my problem by saying "exercise" or "meditate" or "stop fapping" or any of the other unoriginal improvefag sayings. No shit, you will feel better if you exercise. But that doesn't mean you won't have depression. I really want to feel better. I really, really do. I try so hard every day to be happy. Nobody understands that. Nobody understands that some of us have a deep sadness that's always there. They prescribe chemical solutions to a spiritual problem, not understanding that it is exactly that. A spiritual problem.
King of missed opportunities?Has anyone missed more?
Innately UselessI’ve always been bad at everything. I always worked the slowest and still managed to make it shitty. When I’m given the simplest assignment conceivable I draw a blank and have to ask for help. I’m astonishingly error prone. I make an obvious mistake and then immediately understand what I did wrong, but that never prevents the next one.
sageToday is my birthday, I just turned 29. Worked from home. I expected nothing and I received nothing, I'm not even angry about it. I can't help but keep feeling depressed though.
Constantly defending myself from imaginary criticismToday I think I just had a minor epiphany. I was placing my dishes in the dishwasher after eating dinner like I always do, and like I always do I imagined someone criticizing my placement of the dishes in the dish washer. IDK who would be criticizing me, I guess in my mind it was my father because he would be loading the rest of the dishes, but I know he never would. I realized for a moment how utterly absurd it was for me to be like this. With each and every action that I make, no matter how trivial or mundane, I imagine myself defending my action to imagined criticizers. If I speed 5 mph over, I imagine myself getting pulled over and having to defend my action to the cop. In all sorts of mundane situations where I know I will never actually get criticized I reflexively imagine such criticism anyway and then imagine defending myself. Sometimes I can only admit to myself that I am performing suboptimally but it's the best I could muster in my current state.
going monkmodeI am thinking of going monkmode. I was thinking: if I am really so depressed that nothing in the world makes me happy, why not leave it all behind? If I play vidya and eat pizza and smoke weed and browse the internet and life still sucks? My depression is characterized by existential thoughts that never resolve. If I'm questing for happiness this way, and it isn't working, maybe I need to try something else. Maybe If I devote the effort I use on being miserable towards enlightenment I will actually stop being so sad.
Would non-being be preferable to being for you?Here's a quote from Philipp Mainländer, a pessimist German philosopher who killed himself:
Hope for escaping the demiurgeCan this be done? I know the ancients believed that in order to escape demiurgic recycling of the soul you had to project your soul (usually through drugs) out of the kenoma and so by frequent practice essentially imbue your soul with the readiness to best his dominion. There were platonists who believed the world was a torus of sorts, and that the artificer channeled a type of toroidal current into which our souls are sadly subsumed into an infinity loop of bodily life.