Inventory is emptyReading the end of the wizards thread I wondered:
Returning foreverI've seen this image posted around here many times and I think it warrants its own thread for discussion. It really gives a good visual summary of Schopenhauer's philosophically grounded idea of reincarnation:
Cope with simulationThe games I play to pretend I’m succcessful. I’ll never be a real normie. Nobody knows that I play these games to feel better and that I have this folder but it really fills my life to know that every day I can wake up and attend my virtual job while the wage attends his real job I wish I had a real job but I can’t have a real job because I’m unable to have a real job
RantI am a guy from a country with a stupid education system. I am currently doing an undergrad degree in a major I hate(don't ask why, the system here is fscked) and have tons of academic failures. I am somehow trying to pass slowly and clear my stuff. However my mental health problems and the fact that society treats us here worse than criminals makes it worse. Not to mention my seriously bad luck which has given me great pain in past and present. It's not that I hate studying. I love some stuff but not what I am being forced too. And especially with my mental issues, it is a torture. I almost feel like a sub human on most days.
Suicide GeneralThe last suicide general has hit the bump limit.
Insomnia threadI decided to start this thread to post about our experiences with insomnia and maybe to log during our insomniac episodes. I had thought about making a thread like this several times while scrolling wizchan at dawn. But I figured since it happened again now is right.
Missing Out.Bitcoin. How many other Wizards, other than myself, missed out on their chance to eternal NEETdom? Personally, I've been aware of Bitcoin since 2009. I even mined it for a time before giving up. To rub salt in the wound further, I was even friends with many people who invested in it, yet never followed their example myself. While this is mostly due to the fact I was rather young at the time, even a small change of heart would have made me a millionaire right now.
too apathetic to dieDoes anyone else feel too apathetic to kill themselves?
Irreversible Personality DamageCan we have irreversible personality damage ?
Effects of loneliness on mental healthHow does being completely alone affect ur mental health?
What makes you passionate about things?I saw this video recently (I know it's a JBP video but please don't turn this thread into a political shitshow debate, this thread is not about politics), and it really made me wonder, what the fuck determines what you are passionate about? I mean here I am, a lazy high school drop out NEET with zero passions or motivation to do anything but jerk off and browse forums and YouTube all day, meanwhile my peers from school have all went on to get amazing careers and are super passionate about things. I knew this kid in high school, quite introverted like me, yet unlike me he was incredibly passionate about one thing, and that was computer science, he spent hours programming anything and everything, he taught himself calculus and linear algebra at 17, he made tons of program on github that I cannot even begin to comprehend, naturally he is now a senior developer for Microsoft too. What sparked that interest in him in the first place? What made him enjoy computers so much to learn all that? I've tried to learn programming many times and I get bored to tears, anything else would be interesting to me. I can list countless examples of people like this, I know people who are obsessed with music, or neuroscience, or engineering. They spend hours and hours researching and they enjoy it, and best of all, they remember it!
Tortured a cat, feel like garbageStreet cat who has the habit of sneaking in our kitchen. So I cornered her there and went on squeezing her hard against the ground with a broom stick for 30 minutes.
how do you cope with the limitations of life?i daydream for hours every day and get wrapped up in outlandish fantasies that could never possibly occur in real life. like sometimes i imagine i win the lottery twice in a row and become some rich bigshot or sometimes i imagine i find a genie that grants me 3 wishes, or sometimes i imagine i get weird powers and can just fuck around and have fun like life is a video game. and i can spend hours in these fantasies. i am seriously half expecting to just wake up one day and have one of them come true and then everything can just pop off.
Why is it so hard to be happy as a wizard?Over the years I've posted many posts on various social media and imageboards describing my problems and I have never gotten any advice that helped, most of it boils down to "just start small!". This doesn't help me at all, I can't maintain focus for long, nor do I feel particularly enthusiastic or passionate about the long term goals I have for myself (i.e read more books, exercise more, study something online like programming). I'm going to post an outline of issues for the sake of further context but I want the focus of this thread NOT to be about helping ME, but rather examining why the typical wizard afflictions are so hard to cure in the first place, why we are like this and if there really is anything we can do to fix it, or if we are just doomed to suffer.
Starting another depression blog?I've had various depression blogs since 2009, before that I used to mope in the misc sections of various forums. A few of them had a decent readership, relatively speaking. One because I somewhat self-promoted it commenting on other blogs. The other because it touched on issues besides my personal life.
dep reaction imagesPost your most relatable depression reaction pictures. I have a folder of these and looking at them, recognizing myself in them makes me feel better. As if someone out there shares my thoughts and feelings, even though the pictures are mostly cartoons and animals. It's an illusion, but somehow it helps.
Severe JealousyI don't have any skills or talents and I've never had any friends.
What is your point,purposeEvery action seems irrational and meaningless to me.I can't do anything.I don't have any drive motivation to do smt. Do you do all the things without purpose and still live satisfied lives?
Stuck between poor choicesAnyone else feel they have a pretty shitty family but also feel like they have no other means of surviving?
Suicide Note: For or Against It?If you lost a loved one to suicide, would you want to know why they did it?
The Abuse From NormalsFirst off, I entirely disagree with what is considered culturally acceptable by society: clothing style, lingo, overt sexual posturing, drug-use… I can go on. But simply by the merit of preferring things that are sophisticated: information(obviously), science, orchestral music(actual music), philosophical conversation… I am ostracized by the normaltrons. Like another user said, they make ME seem like an idiot with their high-school, name-calling bullshit! 'How ridiculous,' I think. 'Me, an idiot?! But isn't it they who speak such nonsensical, animal terminology?!' These creatures… They fight with derogatory terms instead of logic.. Why must I live amongst these animals? Understand, I wasn't conditioned by the swine of society to desire this, "fitting in." My objective was less intentive on seeking the subjection of my fellows, but by simply not being bothered by them. But now, as an adult.. I am forced to participate in their 'competition.' I have been to jail, and I have been homeless… And it is not my happiness to be surrounded by opportunistic parasites! Nay, I will compete with these pretentious bullies and hopefully overcome these monsters. My fellow wizards, graduate with me on this quest in defeating the normalswine.. they deserve no peace.
I don't think I belong in this worldEvery time I try to do something in the real world or even in normie places on the internet I get scolded,laughed at,ridiculed,bullied etc I just can't comprehend how humans work,how they manage to live day by day buying stupid shit all the time,working,having relationships etc.
Stimulants for productivityWhat is your experience with using stimulants for productivity? I mean proper stims like amphetamine, methylphenidate, other ADHD meds, etc. While I can't get these drugs easily I can order research chemical stimulants that are chemically similar to these drugs, for example the image is a picture of 2-FMA, which reddit says is better than Adderall for productivity. I've never used RCs though, I only used Adderall in high school briefly but my psychiatrist stopped prescribing it after I overdosed on heroin (long story, clean now). Last year I managed to get Vyvanse prescribed for a month, but it didn't help nearly as much as Adderall, I was still unfocused and unproductivive, I even took 5x more than I was prescribed, 20mg to 100mg, and it still didn't motivate me to do anything, it just made me feel more awake. Sometimes I think my brain is literally damaged and I will never do anything meaningful or enjoy living. Anyways, what are your experiences with stimulants for productivity and focus?
Weird MentalityI was born with weird mentality. I give you few examples of it.
MiserySorry for the new thread wizzies I looked for the former one but couldn't find it.
Shielding the mindWhat tactics do you have for blocking the world out and protecting your mind? Protecting from hostile people, a hostile environment, your own emotions, and so on?
Do i have depression or is it some existential crisis or some middle age crisis?So basically i rarely wanna get up from bed in the morning, only because of annoying chores, like i wish i'd just sleep till the next anime episode, then go back to sleep, that's how i feel. but i can't because no matter how high i get my body just won't let me sleep longer than 12 to 13 hours, and then during the day and especially toward evening i'm impatient to take a bunch of sleeping pills and peacefully dose of into oblivion. it's pretty sad but is it depression? anyone experienced this before?
At what age can you not turn your life around?>29
fasting,ice showers?hacking the brainHow can I hack my brain out of depression?
Anxiety ThreadI've been suffering from terrible anxiety for the past seven years now. Initially I was anxious about particular things, now it's just about everything, a constant feeling, the only solutions I can think of for myself are being almost permanently intoxicated or suicide. I'm just trying to push through it and still do the things I need to do rather than get paralysed by it because that won't help.
Repeatability of lifeI think about my life and I realized something.
I tried it allAnd none of it works.
Mother hateMy mother is such a stupid oblivious incompetent cunt, i fuckin hate her
Anti-DepressantsAnyone here tried those? What did they do.
Brain DamageIs there a more hellish existence than having any sort of brain damage? Every time I watch or read something on memory loss or other brain related illnesses I am horrified beyond belief. Imagine being born every 7-10 seconds like in this documentary, knowing absolutely nothing about where you are, who you are speaking with, what age you are, seeing a human being for the first time all over again. "No dreams, no difference between night or day, it's like being dead".
Increase your chances to have CancerCancer seems to be the most painful chronic disease that someone can have. Its pain may last for enough long time, and its treatment, if it ever works, is even more painful. So how to increase your chances to have Cancer, given the fact that the radioactive solution is not available, technically I am far away from any Radioactivity zone.
edgy degenerateHow i do stop being a complete edgelord? most conversations i have devolves into goth tier loathing and in the few voice chats i tried forcing myself to join i could only say slurs and make everyone mad at me. at least part of it is due to the fact that one of my only dopamine sources is unironically watching gore videos and sometimes masturbating to dead succubi. i have practically no social skills and im a dead end autistic schizo loser who is quite possibly the ugliest scariest most boring man alive. any ideas? thanks.
Covert AutomutilationI want to induce severe physical pain unto my flesh as to distract from my mental suffering. I dont want scars to attentionwhore with cause Im not a foid. Scarless automutiliation requires creativity and maybe you have good ideas.
Videogame AddictionHow many of you get addicted to video games in an unhealthy way? I quit for a while, but lately I often end up playing League of Legends all day and I don't really enjoy it most of the time. It often upsets me and makes me feel angry or depressed due to the toxic community and losing games. The problem is that I don't currently have a job, and there isn't anything much entertaining on the internet anymore, so I just end up playing league all day and then getting mad if I don't win.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder[GAD]Does anyone else have a persistent fear/anxiety where the mind constantly worries about any and all things? In my case, it has come to a point where I am feeling very afraid today despite no reason. Being happy or in a relaxed state has become a dream now.
BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)Anyone else here living with BPD?
Do you think you’d be posting here if you were never bullied?When I look at my current worldview and personality (avoidant personality, social anxiety, worried about my looks, anti-natalist, depressed, tired, and angry), I can trace all of these to having been bullied. A couple of them have other origins other than bullying, but all of them were either created or hugely exacerbated by me having been bullied. And I think that I honestly wouldn’t post here or spend any time here if I wasn’t the way I am, because in all honesty I probably would’ve turned out a normie (I have a NVLD so I wouldn’t have been a complete normie, but still). And I wouldn’t be anywhere near the person I am today without the above-listed qualities, which largely stem from bullying. So, what about you? Is having been bullied affected who you are in such an extreme way that if you hadn’t endured it, you wouldn’t post here?
Escape!I always wanted to escape, but when I was a kid, I never knew where I should go. Now, I do…
on whether to continue this hikki neet lifeI was meditating upon the subject for a while and this is the conclusion I have to come to "to wish to live you must wish to die" wishing to live in the sense of "really living" you can't keep running and be safe in your castle, it's a rather colourless way to live one with no variations, very grey.
negative feedback loop
Thought experimentDeath knocks on your door. You're guaranteed a painless, concsiousless, peaceful death in 24 hours. You get to pick and do whatever you want no matter how unrealistic it is, while you wait for your death.
Suicide information resourcesLinks to the Peaceful Pill eHandbook (PDF) by euthanasia organization Exit International.
not enjoying things anymoreI haven't played video games in years
"YOU MUST HATE YOUR LIFE SINCE YOURE PLAYING THE GAME TOO!"I'm not interested in the rat race and I just want to be left alone. I can't stand when normies make fun of me for being ugly. They assume I'm a virgin(correct) but what they don't know is I don't try. I'm not at all interested in being in a relationship with a female. It's like someone laughing at you for losing a race you were never in. It happens all the time and it's frustrating as hell. I don't want the attention. I've been called *ncel before because I'm ugly and simply exist. When I do tell these people I'm not interested in relationships they say "Sour grapes". Some in my own family judge me for still being a virgin, they think I'm a creepy loser. I wish I was attractive so that people would leave me the hell alone and stop being so judgmental.
NEET option poll/advice.What would you choose:
workSo who is thinking about killing themselfes because they cant find work? I lost 3 jobs in the last 5 years because i am such an idiot and where manic. All 3 jobs were pretty good one i evend loved, but fuck it, i am searching now since september last year, so i had a testweek as a forklift driver last week the day before i was anxiety ridden and couldnt sleep, i had to wake up at 4:40 and didnt sleep even a minute so i drive there with the train and all i think is i will just faint there it was hell, they show me the place to work like a big firm and all i can say is just yeah ok and yes because i am tired as fuck, later they show me the forklift, i am still thinking about leaving, i get in and start pretty comfy i have to say, its like a forklift with sideforks to carry woodpacks, some other guy shows me some stuff it was pretty ok i have to say, i was there 1 week was pretty good, stress but still. Now they call me they found someone else, sitting here with my beers now back to where i am always in despair, in those 5 years i lost 3 jobs i was like 3 years neet i cant take it anymore i am getting older (am 28 right now) and nobody will ever want some sperg who has some many age gapes in his resume even when i just search for labour work, what should i do try to claim benefits for anxiety or just kill myself, work and money was always the thing in my life that gave me comfort, sitting at home rottting with little money i cant stand, i have like 4000 euros credit stuff too i have too pay, it feels like no way out i am in a anxiety ridden hell and only thing left is to kill myself, dont even get me started with shit like no friends and stuf i cant even think about shit like that right now. thanks for reading my rant
Wizard existential crisisI am having an existential crisis.
Dreaming of FireI've been dreaming lately. Of burning myself to death. Finally cleansed & full of bliss.
Internet is too cringeworthyAnyone else have trouble looking at the internet now? all this lame cancel culture, me: nobody:, ya'll,dont say the n word, am i a joke to you? templated phrases for the cattle to fall under and whites trying to talk like blacks. censorship is the worst i've ever seen it at. everything can get you banned and your chance at a future ruined, they can dig up you saying the word fag 8 years ago and unironically ruin your life with the help of mega corporations while posting the same 5 images of kpop and being passive aggressive/smug. it is like being in a daycare of retarded children hitting you and not being able to talk shit to them, or am i just losing my mind and/or jaded?