Cultural AlienationI feel so alienated by modern mainstream media. I really, REALLY have to search to find similar opinions to mine. Every mainstream voice says EXACTLY the same thing. Games that I'm interested in aren't covered by someplace like IGN, but instead some weird website like "Accursed Farms" or something similar. Same with books, movies, shows, music, anime, etc. (even politics).
Suicide GeneralThe last suicide general has hit the bump limit.
Weird MentalityI was born with weird mentality. I give you few examples of it.
Mandatory military serviceI joined forced military service in january , now im literally losing my mind
Continual FailureScrewed up out of a good uni twice. Went to another uni and scraped a decent degree. Proceed to eff up a masters due to shitty insomnia. I was ok at school but post 18 I feel like I got hit on the head and became a certified fucking retard. I am very fucking dense and I make the worst decisions.
Stuck with family at homeAnyone else had their peace completely ruined by having their family be home all day because of the quarantine? I'm seriously on the verge of going insane. My father is too loud, he's always coughing and making disgusting noises, and he does them all day long. I just can't bear it. I can't even think or focus on anything in peace anymore, I'm always interrupted by his noises, and it's been that way for months now. I'm getting my earbuds blasting extremely loud music at my ears all day and I can still hear him. I've told him he needs to get medical help, but he doesn't want to get better. It probably sounds stupid, but I'm seriously contemplating suicide at this point because my life is fucking pointless and I don't know how long I can bear with this shit anymore. I just miss having my silence.
Has anyone sold plasma before?As a depressed neet soon-to-be wiz I'm broke as fuck, I never tried selling plasma since it's usually ghetto as fuck and I thought I wouldn't pass the tests, but I'm desperate now. Have bills to pay. In retrospect, I should have just started when I began neeting.
Dakimakuras, body pillows, teddy bearsAlright, I’m proably on the edge of rules but I’ll take the risk. Do any of you have dakimakuras (or other non-anime body pillows) that you hug when you sleep? How does it feel like? Does it relieve the stress or the sadness?
I'm desperate, got a request
Getting Bullied at WorkI don't know how to start this. I don't post very often and I'm not good at writing.
ITT: Plans of action/Attempting Living with SadnessThere is something, even if it's vague, do you like to do?
Politics=Loser in denial hobby?Not just politics but anything intellectual or truth related
The Puppy StoryTwo weeks ago my mother, without telling me, decided to get a puppy. "Quarantine puppy". That's the kind of stupidity I always expect from her. So during the first few days whenever the puppy cried she went and played with it, let it sleep in her bed, and stuff. Now as she started to get bored of it the puppy wont stop crying all day long when left alone. I don't care about the puppy, and I didn't say anything about it, or its noise. Though I did warn her to just let the puppy cry and not do anything about it that eventually it would stop, of course she ignored it.
Sense of uselessnessAnyone else feels like not made to function?
When should you go?I know there’s already a suicide thread, but this is more of a philosophical thread. I don’t want to ask, “How should you kill yourself?” or “Should you kill yourself?” but rather, “When should one kill oneself?” or really more of a “Shouldn’t EVERYONE consider eventually committing suicide?” And I also wanted to bounce these thoughts around because it’s not exactly like you can have a straightforward conversation with your mom about suicide.
dep reaction imagesPost your most relatable depression reaction pictures. I have a folder of these and looking at them, recognizing myself in them makes me feel better. As if someone out there shares my thoughts and feelings, even though the pictures are mostly cartoons and animals. It's an illusion, but somehow it helps.
Short attention span? regarding consuming mediaI'm not sure if it's due to Anhedonia or ADHD
Inventory is emptyReading the end of the wizards thread I wondered:
how to be a good human pleaseHi Team,
dying aloneany fellow wizards seriously thought about their life and found out that their Destiny is to die alone, too?
Wiz childhoodHow was your childhood like? How was your birth? How was the health of your parents? At what point you "realized" you were no longer a kid and society had expectations of you?
I've never been able to enjoy the internetI've been using the internet for close to 2 decades now and for me there's never been a moment where I've actually enjoyed and felt comfortable online. I've never made any friends, never been apart of any communities, (unless you count this one, but it hardly amounts to much for me), and I've never had any good times using it whatsoever. Even from a non-social angle, the internet has never been anything special to me. I have to say that I honestly feel like I'm a complete universe apart from anyone who can actually recall times of enjoying the internet or those who can even just regularly speak their minds online without fear or hesitation. For me, I've never known or been capable of either of those things. It's a combination of being too incapable of handling hostility, being too reluctant to feel at home anywhere, and being too out of touch and tired to know what to say people. For the last couple years now it's gotten really frustrating not having anything I can enjoy or find solace in online. No welcoming chatrooms, no internet buddies, and no stomach or desire for just shitposting at random either.
Treatment Resistant DepressionAny wizards getting ECT, TMS, or Spravato?
Copes your parents gave you growing up"you're so young"
Meme suggestions for neets>learn data science(involves math/professional bs)
Everyone else looks like some kind of super human to meDoes anyone feels like you're a massive retard while everyone else issome kind of genius super human? I always felt like the slowest guy around,while everyone else seems to master anything they want extremely fast for me it takes some herculean effort just to keep it at the beginner state,I'm trying to learn Java programming using some online course and while for me it takes a lot of effort to make a shitty program that uses very basic classes and objects others brag about doing very complex and polished software in what seems to be 4 key presses that take half an hour,same with learning japanese,I've been learning this shit for 4 months and I can barely read anything while for others it takes 2 weeks and some anki flashcards to read entire books.
Junk foodIs anyone else in love with fast/junk food? I don't overeat as in I limit calorie consumption on the days I have it, but I'm always craving it and wanting more. In-N-Out, Chik Fil A, and some local places are my favorite. I never tried the Popeye's Chicken sandwich since it's not really in walking distance.
Daydreaming and dreamingWhat do you daydream or dream about? After years of introspection, I've only recently realized dreams, daydreaming and delusions are a reflection of what I consciously and unconsciously desire.
I have a massive inferiority complexEverywhere I go I feel like the most sad and pathetic guy around,it's been like that for my whole life,when I was a kid I saw my classmates and family achieving things and having success,but I didn't achieved anything,they were having fun and enjoying life while I couldn't,then at school everyone was richer,more handsome and much more mentally sane than me,I was always the poor one,the ugly one,the autist,all my life filled with envy and anxiety,desiring what others have but I can't,even in places that are supposedly designed for people like me like wizchan I feel inferior to everyone else,other wizards seem to have hobbies,money (from NEETbux or stocks or whatever) good things going in their lives,while I have nothing of that,everywhere I go I see people who are far more fortunate than I will ever be,this is hell,I was born in a christian family and people were always trying to convince me that hell was a horrible place full of suffering but you know what? This life is far worse than any christian hell,A life where you are denied of everything that you enjoy,everything that makes you human while you see literally everyone around you having the time of their lives,if this isn't the most fucked up torture ever designed then I don't know what this is.
Doom and despairBeen feeling bad lately. I've been feeling great like never before for more than 20 days straight. And I had a nightmare, and I can't snap out of it and here I am back to normal. Dreams are important to me, I have vivid dreams every night, they're a big source of introspection. Last night I dreamed I was back in school, drugged and wasted out of my mind. And I left my classroom to look for some liquor, and someone approached me telling me I was kicked and that I was betraying myself for relapsing. And I got mad and screamed "you don't know me, you have no right to tell me anything, you don't know how it feels". I got so mad that shit woke me up.
I hate my countryI fucking hate my country. I hate myself. I am born in a third world country like India, it's an absolute shithole. I am from a poor family too which makes it harder for opportunities. My NEETdom has been killing me and all my interviews went in vain. I fucking can't take it anymore, Covid 19 has made it even worse.
i will have to spend an hour a day commutingjust end me. signed up for classes next semester at the local uni and didnt wanna room with groidnorms. will waste away my prime years sitting in a hot car to get a piece of paper. well its not much better than wasting away on the boards but still
MisomaniaI am a sick man.I am a spiteful,unattractive man.I tried frens,heaven knows i fucking tried;struggled to escape this suffocating void,this zoo,this so called reality.I can't.
A misguided wizardTo start off, I am a 21yo apprentice wizard living in a third world country.
coping with wasted life, information overloadEvery time I turn on my computer a deep sense of emptiness and depression overcomes me.
If you could be guaranteed death, what would you do?Let's say you could arrange a deal that on 1st Jan 2021 you would cease to exist, what would you spend the rest of the year doing?
Dystheism threadI both believe in and thoroughly hate God. Now a lot of you atheists will think “LOL WhY hATe GuD InSteAD thInK HiM not ReaL?” But disbelief is not an option for me due to intense personal revelation. That’s right, I was in the thick of it, fasting for numbers of days at a time, getting tested by demons and I have fuck all to show for it aside from some psychotic diagnoses I was finally able to milk for neetbux. I’m going to hell and let me tell you God is an importunate douche.
family reactions to rotter lifeIf anyone else is LDARing, how do relatives react? Basically, I failed at everything I tried and my windows of opportunity are non-existent. I have significant learning disabilities, but they were usually trivialized because I could memorize enough to do well until University. Most of my relatives don't give a fuck about me, but I get a lot of resentment for "giving up" even though I am totally out of money to do anything at this point. I can't work a shitty job because I always end up messing up things up due to my slow processing speed and poor motor skills. everyone in my immediate family is shit in some way and the successful uncles/cousins/etc. just expect things to magically work out.
Almost died againDid something stupid. Overthinking death and suicide. End up in the middle of a near death experience. Not the first time it happens, but this is the second strongest. Had to keep myself breathing and awake until the situation had gone away, waited many hours motionless, eyes closed.
ObesityHow many of you wizzies are obese and/or struggling to drop the weight that is causing you severe health problems.
Anti-DepressantsAnyone here tried those? What did they do.
What makes you stay here?People who spend a lot of time here: what makes you stay here?
Stuff you did to avoid school as a kidPersonally, I would claim to be sick as often as possible which was easy since my nose is frequently stuffed up. My best thing was saying spring break started a week earlier and the teachers really got upset with me for that one. I also dodged classes by having to go the nurse's office a lot.
Mentally illIt's been hard for me to come to terms with being mentally ill. I'm basically a textbook example. BPD, major depression, anxiety, insomnia, suicidal ideation (attempted suicide before), attention deficit disorder. Prone to having psychotic episodes or seizures. Doctors always end up kicking me as a patient.
Connection Thread ExperimentJust talk a bit about yourself. I would recommend talking about specifics and unique tastes or goals, so you may have a better chance of finding someone similar to you. Maybe some quick life story summary. It's up to you.
Sobriety and Accepting Life General #1This is a general thread about addiction (including behavioural addictions), escapism, substance abuse, sobriety, change and acceptance.
How is Corona Virus/Covid 19 pandemic making your life worse?>Alcoholic uncle staying with us at Dads place
Suicide method in EUAlright party people, it looks like I've come to the end of the road, and therefore I'd be honored if you could help me escape this life.
important shit right hereI've just realized a common trait along wizards, despite many years being here. Extreme attachment; or extreme attachment and detachment at the same time if there was sort of phyisical or other abuse.
Learning DisabilitiesDoes anyone else have significant learning disabilities? Basically, I didn't really figure out I did since it's usually associated with dyslexia and I was always able to read and spell. When I noticed that the more effort I put into certain things had diminishing returns, it started to become visible that I was a lot slower than other people when it came to skill acquisition and sometimes just never improved past a certain level. Since I went to mostly easy schools until University, I hadn't really gotten my rude awakening until I had to compete with actually smart people. It used to be me just writing stuff off as me being bad at math like a lot of people, but I wasn't good with my hands or longer writing formats at all. I'd look at the feedback, try to improve yet it wasn't really happening. I'd just get some of the stuff down in a rote sense but I wasn't able to expand it beyond that.
Life is a jokeAs we speak, im typing this 4 hours and 16 minutes into my supposed first 5 hour shift as a Freight Associate at Home Depot. The supervisor told us to go to the computer room and do modules, and that he'd check on us in 20 minutes. He never came back, so I've just been sitting here getting paid to browse the internet and do nothing. I don't even need this job because i live at home with a soft ass dad and step-mom with no authority, but i wanted some money. I'm thinking about just clocking in and sitting far back in the the computer room from now on until they either notice me and fire me, or i just stop showing up. In the meantime ill just apply for other jobs.
Feeling more depressed and suicidalAlcoholism and drug dependence has gone way out of hands. I can't control it anymore.
third world sufferingknowing everything you do in third world will be worhtless makes like exhausting and makes wageslaving incredibly hard
Murder is a natural and constructive tool in society>If there is someone you really hate, that did something awful to you, I think that you should be able to legally kill them.
Child Abuse is GoodIt is my belief that child abuse is a positive thing that we wizards should encourage. Reasons are as follows:
Why do all my friends keep getting GFs and abandoning meSo I met this guy on a rizon irc chat three years ago. We both share niche hobbies, and we both have a passion in the preservation of retro Japanese video games. We used to frequently chat with each other every day. He went to college and I'm a NEET, but we still had a very good friendship. So, what happened? Well, he got a girlfriend a few weeks ago. Now before this, he has never, ever, had any interest in social media like instagram or twitter, but now he has both. Whenever I try to start a convo, he ghosts me or gives me vague replies. He makes me feel like a fucking monster that's did something so horrible. Like everyone, I have skeletons. I have fetishes that the majority of the human race would consider fucked up, and I hang out in circles that share art and videos of said fetishes. Whenever I get ghosted like this, I'm afraid someone may have gossiped about me or they can tell by my behavior that I'm a nut and they want nothing to do with me.
My Jaded LifeThis isn't an attention seeking thread. I'm hoping to learn from someone who relates to me and how he managed to feel a little better. If i can't achieve that, atleast i was able to externalize my worries so i can see them more clearly and vent a little. It's just random thoughts put together really.