R: 30 / I: 4
Depression Crawl Thread LXVIII
That Uncle who was always different edition (you,your future) Previous >>297968
R: 40 / I: 4
Is it even possible to break this cycle?
>me 10 years ago
>I'm so behind everyone I'm such a loser
>it will take years for me to see any progress
>I will be old by the time my efforts may pay off
>depressed end up doing nothing
>me 5 years ago
>fuck I'm 30 soon and haven't achieved anything this is so embarassing
>start drinking to cope
>me now
>god I was such an idiot back then why didn't I start doing something years ago I was still young
>now I am pushing 40 and it's over for real
>bedrotting every day 0 motivation to do anything cant even distract myself with anything anymore
Is it even possible to break this cycle?
>me 10 years ago
>I'm so behind everyone I'm such a loser
>it will take years for me to see any progress
>I will be old by the time my efforts may pay off
>depressed end up doing nothing
>me 5 years ago
>fuck I'm 30 soon and haven't achieved anything this is so embarassing
>start drinking to cope
>me now
>god I was such an idiot back then why didn't I start doing something years ago I was still young
>now I am pushing 40 and it's over for real
>bedrotting every day 0 motivation to do anything cant even distract myself with anything anymore
R: 278 / I: 42
Watching Geekdom get absorbed into the monoculture over the last decade (and then some) has been a pretty demoralising experience.
Part of the process of commodification, streamlining and assimilation of geek culture into the all-consuming monoculture, is distortion and erasure of the original.
"These would be the successive phases of the image:
1 It is the reflection of a basic reality.
2 It masks and perverts a basic reality.
3 It masks the absence of a basic reality.
4 It bears no relation to any reality whatever: it is its own pure simulacrum.
In the first case, the image is a good appearance: the representation is of the order of sacrament. In the second, it is an evil appearance: of the order of malefice. In the third, it plays at being an appearance: it is of the order of sorcery. In the fourth, it is no longer in the order of appearance at all, but of simulation."
I'm probably using Baudrillard wrong, but I think we're either between phase 2 and 3 or on phase 3. We're at the point where we have "gamers" who don't like videogames as the faces of videogames.
Death of the Uncool
Death of the Uncool - End of the Wizards VWatching Geekdom get absorbed into the monoculture over the last decade (and then some) has been a pretty demoralising experience.
Part of the process of commodification, streamlining and assimilation of geek culture into the all-consuming monoculture, is distortion and erasure of the original.
"These would be the successive phases of the image:
1 It is the reflection of a basic reality.
2 It masks and perverts a basic reality.
3 It masks the absence of a basic reality.
4 It bears no relation to any reality whatever: it is its own pure simulacrum.
In the first case, the image is a good appearance: the representation is of the order of sacrament. In the second, it is an evil appearance: of the order of malefice. In the third, it plays at being an appearance: it is of the order of sorcery. In the fourth, it is no longer in the order of appearance at all, but of simulation."
I'm probably using Baudrillard wrong, but I think we're either between phase 2 and 3 or on phase 3. We're at the point where we have "gamers" who don't like videogames as the faces of videogames.
R: 89 / I: 6
I'm currently 26, almost 27 (rings a bell?). And I can't take it anymore. I will soon depart from life through hanging. I haven't done it yet because I live in a shithole and there are always people around making noise and being nosy. I will just wait till it's very quiet so I can go to the woods and end this miserable existence.
I don't care if it might "get better". Existence itself is a curse and we're all gonna die anyway. I've read enough pessimist books and life affirming books and I side with the former. I don't need your compansion, because the thought that I will soon disappear is the only thing that makes me happy. I'm not even sad because of this.
Suicide general
This is the classic "suicide general", where we discuss methods and say farewell to our fellow wizards, quite different from that other thread in the catalog.I'm currently 26, almost 27 (rings a bell?). And I can't take it anymore. I will soon depart from life through hanging. I haven't done it yet because I live in a shithole and there are always people around making noise and being nosy. I will just wait till it's very quiet so I can go to the woods and end this miserable existence.
I don't care if it might "get better". Existence itself is a curse and we're all gonna die anyway. I've read enough pessimist books and life affirming books and I side with the former. I don't need your compansion, because the thought that I will soon disappear is the only thing that makes me happy. I'm not even sad because of this.
R: 85 / I: 14
I am 24 years old, little to not school education, no job, whenever I am with some relatives or in some family gathering I can sense how much they look down at me for being a massive loser, even if they almost never express it directly at all, since I was a child I would always be asked by them questions like "how are you doing in school?" or "are you getting any good grades" Of course they no longer ask me such question, But I still feel a lot of shame when I am around them, I try to avoid sitting with them like the plague
Being a massive loser amongst family members
Does any of you get irritated with family gatherings or when guests come to visit you in your family's house?I am 24 years old, little to not school education, no job, whenever I am with some relatives or in some family gathering I can sense how much they look down at me for being a massive loser, even if they almost never express it directly at all, since I was a child I would always be asked by them questions like "how are you doing in school?" or "are you getting any good grades" Of course they no longer ask me such question, But I still feel a lot of shame when I am around them, I try to avoid sitting with them like the plague
R: 76 / I: 11
Healthy people are NPCs. They don't really exist. With disease comes the awareness of your body that your private hell and your true existence begins and hear the scream of everything. Pain teach you what it means to really exist. Disease's manifesto: to live is to suffer like a ragdoll while fate prisons you in the eternal hours pregnant with pain to cure of you from the sin of life.
Disease Thread
This thread is for the discussion of the greatest misfortune in existence that is disease.Healthy people are NPCs. They don't really exist. With disease comes the awareness of your body that your private hell and your true existence begins and hear the scream of everything. Pain teach you what it means to really exist. Disease's manifesto: to live is to suffer like a ragdoll while fate prisons you in the eternal hours pregnant with pain to cure of you from the sin of life.
R: 17 / I: 1
Is there any compassion for failed people like us in the world?
Do you think normies could ever accept us or even tolerate us for real? It's obvious that absolute majority people is repulsed by a NEET lifestyle, failed dating/life/work experience, motivational or existential problems. Do you think there's a space for us to exist at all? Is it acceptable, is it planned for? Or we are truly just the trash of the world that should be cut out from society the sooner the better? R: 79 / I: 5
No hope for autists
Whitepillers don't have a retort for autism. You can get a good degree, pursue your hobbies and work on your self esteem but if you have autism you will never make it in this anti-autistic world, Life is all about one thing. Being born without autism. If you're born without autism the normies will make excuses for you, help you out, share money with you, give you 100 chances, etc. Meanwhile if you have autism you're evil and creepy just for existing and blinking the wrong way. Everybody gets to live for free except autists and only autists who are given this fake ass "you gotta pull yourself up by your bootstraps and make your life" "you gotta amount to something" "innovation" story. Shit that literally no one else has to follow.
R: 168 / I: 18
previous >>289727
Wageslave General
2025 will be the layoff year edition. How we holding up?previous >>289727
R: 14 / I: 1
Any other wizzies have substance addiction problems? This falls under general addiction problems, but I suspect being trapped inside all day like a caged animal and the existence of DNM has made enough people here quasi drug addicts. My personal weaknesses are opiates, benzos and cigarettes; I wouldn't say I'm addicted, but even thinking about never again feeling the warm embrace of opiates or the soothing release of benzos makes me feel ill.
Any other wizzies have substance addiction problems? This falls under general addiction problems, but I suspect being trapped inside all day like a caged animal and the existence of DNM has made enough people here quasi drug addicts. My personal weaknesses are opiates, benzos and cigarettes; I wouldn't say I'm addicted, but even thinking about never again feeling the warm embrace of opiates or the soothing release of benzos makes me feel ill.
R: 32 / I: 3
I'm not even "patriotic" nor anything, I just want to leave my parents house and survive, also no, my country is thankfully not at war. Do we have any other wizards who are also considering joining the army?
Joining the Army
It seems I have no other choice, unfortunately. Because of the lack of jobs where I live and my family now turning my life into hell because they openly despise me, I can't see any other way but to join the army and do at least one year of military service, given that it's the only job that practically always is open for literally anyone, and to get in you just have to want it.I'm not even "patriotic" nor anything, I just want to leave my parents house and survive, also no, my country is thankfully not at war. Do we have any other wizards who are also considering joining the army?
R: 259 / I: 9
(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care.
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open the windows to your wiz-cave and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.
I've done my part. Anyone else?
Anti-Suicide General
The purpose of this thread is to counter the general tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads. This thread will therefore feature practical advice about reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care.
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open the windows to your wiz-cave and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.
I've done my part. Anyone else?
R: 80 / I: 3
Do you ever wonder how you got here…as in, how or why you "woke up" when you did, where you did, to the people (parents) that you did? It's impossible to make sense of. Just on one fucking terrible day, we took up consciousness, literally out of nowhere we are in bodies and tasked with learning the mechanics of entire material world. What caused us to be born when we were, to whom we were? I don't accept that it was random, or mere bare biology..I feel within myself that this life is a targeted punishment and that were I smarter I would have avoided being born entirely. What piece of shit god thinks he/it has the right to do this to us? We are born, thereafter we spend a few years simply making basic sense of things, go off to school, probably suffer a lot, continue to grow up, endure more sadness, and now through all of it we just continue to get older and weaker and sadder. This life is a crime against our souls and whatever caused us to come here HAS TO PAY. Really the only thing I fear is being forced to come back to this shitheap of a world to suffer again…and I do worry about this precisely because I don't know how I got here in the first place. I feel deeply sorry for all the new souls born to this world…there is just so much to learn, but even more there is just so much to suffer through…and I cannot understand what kind of god would force this sort of existence on tender helpless beings? The demiurge must be overcome.
Escaping the Demiurge PT 2
Serious question for any wizcels:Do you ever wonder how you got here…as in, how or why you "woke up" when you did, where you did, to the people (parents) that you did? It's impossible to make sense of. Just on one fucking terrible day, we took up consciousness, literally out of nowhere we are in bodies and tasked with learning the mechanics of entire material world. What caused us to be born when we were, to whom we were? I don't accept that it was random, or mere bare biology..I feel within myself that this life is a targeted punishment and that were I smarter I would have avoided being born entirely. What piece of shit god thinks he/it has the right to do this to us? We are born, thereafter we spend a few years simply making basic sense of things, go off to school, probably suffer a lot, continue to grow up, endure more sadness, and now through all of it we just continue to get older and weaker and sadder. This life is a crime against our souls and whatever caused us to come here HAS TO PAY. Really the only thing I fear is being forced to come back to this shitheap of a world to suffer again…and I do worry about this precisely because I don't know how I got here in the first place. I feel deeply sorry for all the new souls born to this world…there is just so much to learn, but even more there is just so much to suffer through…and I cannot understand what kind of god would force this sort of existence on tender helpless beings? The demiurge must be overcome.
R: 21 / I: 1
There are succubi who were born in 2007 who have became pornstars now, succubi born in 2008-2011 have regular sex and you all know how middle school was. I guess what I am trying to say is how do you cope with this?
In my eyes, the act of having sex is the highest expression of love and yet not a lot of us will ever receive that pleasure of finally being accepted, there are people here who can't get laid because of how they were raised, there are people here who can't get laid cause of their looks, and the thing is people do wanna talk about it here. There was also a post by disgusting shitskinned pajeet over how he can't have sex cause his dick is up his ass or something and a post on wiz where a guy was sex obsessed and couldn't stop seeing even his family and relatives through a sexual lens.
Because let's face it, most of us aren't happy with our current predicament. Most people here aren't happy with being wizards, our lives are completely unnatural and incompatible with happiness. Posts here are about how to commit suicides and how miserable the lives of people here are. The fact of the matter is that most of us are miserable.
And there is nothing much we can do to escape our predicament. I want to know genuinely if there are any real wizards who have moved beyond this. How did you really do it? How do you get used to a life so lonely? How did you made peace with that? Do none of you ever had the desire of having a kid who looks up to you. Or a wife who will actually be on your side till your deathbed. Or are we just gonna die in some apartment lonely or homeless on a street only for our corpse to be unattended and no respect paid.
I feel very weird when I come to this website, I feel like people here are like me, virgin, loveless, and lonely. But there is something different, I can't contain my innate desire to be wanted. And it seems like people here pretend that they have contained it but deep down inside they wanna escape this.
I am writing this in the state of real post-nut clarity, I just coomed to a pornstar who was born in 2007 and it made me feel how old I really am getting, and how I haven't achieved any thing and I am a worthless basement dweller. It is truly remarkable how different lives the lives of different humans can be.
There are succubi who were born in 2007 who have became pornstars now, succubi born in 2008-2011 have regular sex and you all know how middle school was. I guess what I am trying to say is how do you cope with this?
In my eyes, the act of having sex is the highest expression of love and yet not a lot of us will ever receive that pleasure of finally being accepted, there are people here who can't get laid because of how they were raised, there are people here who can't get laid cause of their looks, and the thing is people do wanna talk about it here. There was also a post by disgusting shitskinned pajeet over how he can't have sex cause his dick is up his ass or something and a post on wiz where a guy was sex obsessed and couldn't stop seeing even his family and relatives through a sexual lens.
Because let's face it, most of us aren't happy with our current predicament. Most people here aren't happy with being wizards, our lives are completely unnatural and incompatible with happiness. Posts here are about how to commit suicides and how miserable the lives of people here are. The fact of the matter is that most of us are miserable.
And there is nothing much we can do to escape our predicament. I want to know genuinely if there are any real wizards who have moved beyond this. How did you really do it? How do you get used to a life so lonely? How did you made peace with that? Do none of you ever had the desire of having a kid who looks up to you. Or a wife who will actually be on your side till your deathbed. Or are we just gonna die in some apartment lonely or homeless on a street only for our corpse to be unattended and no respect paid.
I feel very weird when I come to this website, I feel like people here are like me, virgin, loveless, and lonely. But there is something different, I can't contain my innate desire to be wanted. And it seems like people here pretend that they have contained it but deep down inside they wanna escape this.
I am writing this in the state of real post-nut clarity, I just coomed to a pornstar who was born in 2007 and it made me feel how old I really am getting, and how I haven't achieved any thing and I am a worthless basement dweller. It is truly remarkable how different lives the lives of different humans can be.
R: 12 / I: 3
>Dated anyone
>Had an actual friend
>Had a real conversation that went past surface level shit. Not with anybody, not even with my parents, they just say "Oh yeah anon me too…now I need to rant about my day,"
>Had a in-depth conversation about my hobbies and interests past "Yeah I like X"
>Been anywhere or done anything really, I mostly just sit in front of my PC.
I'm 25 now. I realize I have no framework for connecting with people – I don't have a lack of empathy or anything, in fact I'd say I feel for people too strongly sometimes. I just can't connect with them. I'm polite and quiet and that's it.
>What about online relationships
Outside of imageboards, I basically don't exist.
I feel like 25 is too late too. I know it's not "old" but most people my age have been to concerts, have had foundational experiences like heartbreak or just smoking weed after class with friends, etc. and then I'm a blob who's never even been to anyone's house or been invited anywhere. I feel like my soul hasn't been developed. I know I have a mind and moral systems and thoughts but I have no way of communicating them without a lot of deliberation. There's nothing there. I don't know. But can anyone else relate?
Being "human"
Is anyone else lacking formative, human experiences? I've never:>Dated anyone
>Had an actual friend
>Had a real conversation that went past surface level shit. Not with anybody, not even with my parents, they just say "Oh yeah anon me too…now I need to rant about my day,"
>Had a in-depth conversation about my hobbies and interests past "Yeah I like X"
>Been anywhere or done anything really, I mostly just sit in front of my PC.
I'm 25 now. I realize I have no framework for connecting with people – I don't have a lack of empathy or anything, in fact I'd say I feel for people too strongly sometimes. I just can't connect with them. I'm polite and quiet and that's it.
>What about online relationships
Outside of imageboards, I basically don't exist.
I feel like 25 is too late too. I know it's not "old" but most people my age have been to concerts, have had foundational experiences like heartbreak or just smoking weed after class with friends, etc. and then I'm a blob who's never even been to anyone's house or been invited anywhere. I feel like my soul hasn't been developed. I know I have a mind and moral systems and thoughts but I have no way of communicating them without a lot of deliberation. There's nothing there. I don't know. But can anyone else relate?
R: 71 / I: 8
Sometimes I blame my family for raising me in such a violent environment, but then I think it's better to bury the past and look forward. But sometimes it is difficult, since it is not about the violence of 10 or 15 years ago, it is about things sometimes from less than a week ago.
I feel like an alcoholic, where instead of keeping a place free of that poison, it is offered to me in all shapes, sizes, colors and flavors.
I'm going bald
I'm going broke, and I really don't know how to deal with this fact. I went to 4 doctors to treat it, but none of them worked, and no matter how many medications I took, I was never able to overcome this problem. But these only caused me terrible side effects, such as fatigue, weight gain, apathy, a lot of disinterest in everything, and alopecia, but they were never able to attack the impulses. Violence never stops.Sometimes I blame my family for raising me in such a violent environment, but then I think it's better to bury the past and look forward. But sometimes it is difficult, since it is not about the violence of 10 or 15 years ago, it is about things sometimes from less than a week ago.
I feel like an alcoholic, where instead of keeping a place free of that poison, it is offered to me in all shapes, sizes, colors and flavors.
R: 48 / I: 2
How do you deal with being one of the sexless?
I was at work and had to just fucking sit there and listen to this guy go on and on about how succubi constantly hit him up and fucked him. I normally don't react to this kind of stuff. But then he showed video after video after video and it eventually got to me. This fuck is the same age as me but his life just seemed so much easier. I legitimately didn't understand what it's like to have a fucking succubus text you. Want to see you. He even said "You're not ugly. How?" I just didn't have an answer. I just live with the cope that some people just have it easier and others like myself emit and anti succubus field. I am happier the further away from sex and relationship shit I hear. Normally I can just live around it and it doesn't bother me. This time was different some how. What the fuck. R: 47 / I: 1
Disadvantage if not social
This is probably not big news, but you have much worse chances of getting anything done in life if you are not social. From jobs, to housing, to money. If you are trying to do everything alone, you will not be as successful. Except you have a godlike family and upbringing. But I suppose nobody here had this.
R: 15 / I: 1
I didn't know what I was supposed to respond like good for you, I guess. But now I am thinking maybe he did it purposefully, like he knows that someone who looks like me can't get love and sex. And hypothetically if I ever get sex, I probably won't be able to get it hard, and even if I do get it hard, I won't be able to cum cause of my tight foreskin, frenulum breve, and OCD.
I wonder if he somehow guessed that I had an inability to get sex or do sex which is why he rubbed it in my face, other times some other "friends" of mine also talk about their girlfriends infront of me and how cool is this and that.
Are normies just like this or do they do it on purpose with me?
People that rub it in your face.
I went to the college today for some work regarding documentation and met a "friend", people in the college have nothing to talk about except bitches. The "friend" in question screamed my name from afar, later came running, and told me he has scored a bitch. Showed me a photo of a bitch and him cuddling. What is more shocking is that the guy is also kinda below average in looks but extremely out going to the point he just sleeps when he's at home.I didn't know what I was supposed to respond like good for you, I guess. But now I am thinking maybe he did it purposefully, like he knows that someone who looks like me can't get love and sex. And hypothetically if I ever get sex, I probably won't be able to get it hard, and even if I do get it hard, I won't be able to cum cause of my tight foreskin, frenulum breve, and OCD.
I wonder if he somehow guessed that I had an inability to get sex or do sex which is why he rubbed it in my face, other times some other "friends" of mine also talk about their girlfriends infront of me and how cool is this and that.
Are normies just like this or do they do it on purpose with me?
R: 120 / I: 11
The fact that I can't have a girlfriend destroys me.
I would like to be with a being with whom I can share everyday moments, to have a being to worry about, in which I can capture the most beautiful part of my being, to whom I can show my vulnerable parts, express my deepest emotions, and show them really who I am. But who am I really? Even in an anonymous forum, I would say he is a great guy, who went through some things, but who despite everything never gave up, someone who always wants the best for others, and who has an optimistic vision even in the most difficult moments. hard And although in a certain way the above is not a lie, the reality is that there is an uncivilized being inside me, someone so disgusting and unpleasant that I don't even like to admit that we are the same person, and hypocritically, whether consciously or unconsciously. , I pretend it doesn't exist. But this is an undeniable reality, and although it is something that can be hidden, it is something that I would never share with anyone, much less voluntarily. I prefer to be a hermit secluded from all social contact rather than show this part of my being. I'm not going to lie to you, life alone is not the best thing in the world, and it has some associated problems, but it is not something completely bad either, and it helps to value things, self-esteem, one's own thoughts, and leave aside vain issues. like social norms, or what someone outside of us may or may not think of us.
R: 15 / I: 3
We truly love to wallow in our shit and feces and believe that we’re different than the other person, That we’re different than the other insipid and superficial people, But that’s the same as the other barn of shit that others pile in too and believe they’re better than you, All in for the same ending, For the same pointless and meaningless argument to escape the feeling of being “normal”, of being “mid”, of not having any specialities in this World, We fear that we will be perceived as lower, But in reality the damage is already done, We literally diminish our principles in other to not be perceived as lower by others, That’s just wallowing in the shit of the other person. For what is the worth of a person who died right now as you’re reading this ? For what is the worth of a person living in extreme poverty ? A person living in harsh condition, or someone getting tortured by the mafia right now.. Etc, They have more value than people who consider themselves high and almighty, Hell even a garbage collector holds more value than anyone who has “Villas, Cars, money… etc” Because they’re exploring life in their own condition, And the garbage collector is doing something for society, We just give value to ourselves because we’re pitiful and rely so much on another person’s praise to not fall, But you will fall and the fall will be so hard that you will cease to exist in another person’s eyesight. You can easily trick others by giving them value and watch them as they spiral down into madness when you cease to give them any value, People are evil, They rely on others to give them a shoulder to be another’s shoulder and when that shoulder carrying them ceases to exist, they fall because they were used to standing on the other’s shoulder.
Worth of fake value
To value or not to value, To care or not to care, Do we truly care that much about our value that we defend it with any possible way, But to what extent ? What will we garner from showering with praises and value, A temporary feeling of having worth ? It all fades away after a period of time and you have to do that all again, Like anything in life, Everything fades away, That love that disillusioned you at that first sight fades away after 1 month if the other person doesn’t reciprocate, That’s the same as your value, If you don’t give more to your value then the other person will just get bored, Boredom is our nemesis in this world.We truly love to wallow in our shit and feces and believe that we’re different than the other person, That we’re different than the other insipid and superficial people, But that’s the same as the other barn of shit that others pile in too and believe they’re better than you, All in for the same ending, For the same pointless and meaningless argument to escape the feeling of being “normal”, of being “mid”, of not having any specialities in this World, We fear that we will be perceived as lower, But in reality the damage is already done, We literally diminish our principles in other to not be perceived as lower by others, That’s just wallowing in the shit of the other person. For what is the worth of a person who died right now as you’re reading this ? For what is the worth of a person living in extreme poverty ? A person living in harsh condition, or someone getting tortured by the mafia right now.. Etc, They have more value than people who consider themselves high and almighty, Hell even a garbage collector holds more value than anyone who has “Villas, Cars, money… etc” Because they’re exploring life in their own condition, And the garbage collector is doing something for society, We just give value to ourselves because we’re pitiful and rely so much on another person’s praise to not fall, But you will fall and the fall will be so hard that you will cease to exist in another person’s eyesight. You can easily trick others by giving them value and watch them as they spiral down into madness when you cease to give them any value, People are evil, They rely on others to give them a shoulder to be another’s shoulder and when that shoulder carrying them ceases to exist, they fall because they were used to standing on the other’s shoulder.
R: 14 / I: 0
I want to shoot myself in the head with a gun on a crowded street
I want to shoot myself in the head with a gun on a crowded street
R: 21 / I: 2
Normal people without depression know what they are good or at least decent at by the age of 17 when they graduate school.
My only "strength" was learning english by playing videogames and browsing english speaking internet since the age of 10. My weaknesses are everything else, I'm not good at anything and never was good at anything in a real way. I could "imitate" being good at history by cramming material before exams just to forget everything the next day. Anything that requires ANY brainpower at all makes me collapse. I literally always google everything like it's my first time, never learning any patterns or anything. I can imitate being normal (well not anymore I guess) by putting absurd amount of effort to keep the facade, communicating with people on daily basis makes me want to hide or kill myself.
Imagine if I had any strengths so I could go to college normally and graduate and then have a job?
Normal people without depression know what they are good or at least decent at by the age of 17 when they graduate school.
My only "strength" was learning english by playing videogames and browsing english speaking internet since the age of 10. My weaknesses are everything else, I'm not good at anything and never was good at anything in a real way. I could "imitate" being good at history by cramming material before exams just to forget everything the next day. Anything that requires ANY brainpower at all makes me collapse. I literally always google everything like it's my first time, never learning any patterns or anything. I can imitate being normal (well not anymore I guess) by putting absurd amount of effort to keep the facade, communicating with people on daily basis makes me want to hide or kill myself.
Imagine if I had any strengths so I could go to college normally and graduate and then have a job?
R: 22 / I: 0
How will my life change if I miraculously get a job as a dishwasher or idk burger flipper? Is it really a path forward, trading your soul and most of your day for minimum wage? I suppose I could buy a new PC this way after a while, but just living like that because you have no choice? Rope sounds better
How will my life change if I miraculously get a job as a dishwasher or idk burger flipper? Is it really a path forward, trading your soul and most of your day for minimum wage? I suppose I could buy a new PC this way after a while, but just living like that because you have no choice? Rope sounds better
R: 306 / I: 10
Depression Crawl Thread LXVII
2025 The Great Depression 2. Post your pain and suffering. Previous >>294941
R: 33 / I: 5
america makes me depressed
it is a nation of ungodly horror. it's just crime, satanic energy everywhere, corruption, fags, low IQ unread uneducated population, loose std carrying succubi, money worshipping society with no morals. need I go on? how do you not get depressed as an american. i would rather be chinese at this point, it's actually a much better functioning society than america not so shockingly. maybe america has a couple gems like california or washington state or new york, that's it, and they're all way more shit than they used to be. California used to be the shit
R: 39 / I: 4
Hopelessly rotting everyday
I do nothing besides doomscrolling, going outside for a while and maybe read for an hour a day (if i can find a book that interests me) or watch an episode of some anime but the rest of the day is spent doomscrolling on my computer, I am too insomniac and have bladder issues to spend half or most my days sleeping to pass my days with sleep like many NEETs can do with ease, there is just no way for me to get out of this cycle, at least not on my own, I need money and connections, most importantly MONEY.
R: 10 / I: 1
I wonder, if I kill myself, will they attend my funeral?
Nobody's there anymore
I can't move on. Everyone already did but I can't. Nobody remembers me. Trying to reach them is pointless, they avoid me like the plague. My parents told me lots of anecdotes from when they were young. They had friends and an extended family, they went on adventures, they cried and laughted, they grew up with lots of friends. They don't see them much nowdays but if they see each other on the street they cheerfully greet them. Their friends are happy to see them. Mines aren't. I dream about them everyday. Some of them, the original duo from my late childhood, I haven't talked to them in almost 15 years. The others, more "recent", haven't seen them in 10. Time keeps marching on. I stay the same.I wonder, if I kill myself, will they attend my funeral?
R: 54 / I: 2
my autism makes me want to K.M.S
I can't deal or interact with people, meaning I will never have the connections and social skills needed to get and hold a job, meaning i will never be able to survive, leaving me with no option other than offing my self, I feel as if this world existed to make things worse for me.
R: 12 / I: 0
Yet I have to work to live and try my best to finally finish my degree, hopefully before I'm 30 or my university kicks me out. On days like this it's like I've lost 50IQ points and I'm barely functional. I have to keep my living space in a state of acceptable cleanliness. Do any of you guys have any tips on how to make it more bearable?
The Fatigue
How do you guys deal with fatigue, if at all. Some days are better but just when you think you're beginning to get a grip again you just wake up and know exactly that you landed back at the bottom of the hole again. Everything is a herculean effort, even typing this out my eye lids are heavy despite being only late afternoon and me having slept for at least 8h last night. No matter what steps I take, sleeping properly, eating better, hell I even started doing some basic exercise every day to get the blood flowing a bit. None of it matters. All of this hard work and it's completely meaningless because I can't seem to get better in a consistent way that matters.Yet I have to work to live and try my best to finally finish my degree, hopefully before I'm 30 or my university kicks me out. On days like this it's like I've lost 50IQ points and I'm barely functional. I have to keep my living space in a state of acceptable cleanliness. Do any of you guys have any tips on how to make it more bearable?
R: 4 / I: 1
You're a dumbass that KNOWS about how bad your situation is, you know how miserable it is, but you aren't really smart enough to get out of it.
You work a wage slave job and that's really all you can do because my fucking god, coding and programming is essentially the equivalent of trying to box prime Mike Tyson for someone who's a malnourished bastard. Becoming a lawyer? You already know you'd cock up and would probably be a public lawyer that has to defend scum of the earth that are 100% guilty. Doctor? Med school is possibly the hardest thing you can do without trying to become a rocket scientist.
You can't even set yourself up financially. Investing into stocks or crypto? Forget it. You're gonna buy high and sell low. I can't even manage to save more than 1k dollars. I don't even really have savings at all. I live paycheck to paycheck because I can't manage my finances for shit.
It's all these things that add up. I can't be like Beavis and Butthead who live in bliss. I know I'm dumb. I can't get smarter though. A mental midget that knows it. It's like being a zombie that knows it's a zombie.
Being dumb but not too dumb is truly a fate worse than death
Imagine that you're a dumbass. But you're not the happy go lucky type of dumbass that is content with your situation.You're a dumbass that KNOWS about how bad your situation is, you know how miserable it is, but you aren't really smart enough to get out of it.
You work a wage slave job and that's really all you can do because my fucking god, coding and programming is essentially the equivalent of trying to box prime Mike Tyson for someone who's a malnourished bastard. Becoming a lawyer? You already know you'd cock up and would probably be a public lawyer that has to defend scum of the earth that are 100% guilty. Doctor? Med school is possibly the hardest thing you can do without trying to become a rocket scientist.
You can't even set yourself up financially. Investing into stocks or crypto? Forget it. You're gonna buy high and sell low. I can't even manage to save more than 1k dollars. I don't even really have savings at all. I live paycheck to paycheck because I can't manage my finances for shit.
It's all these things that add up. I can't be like Beavis and Butthead who live in bliss. I know I'm dumb. I can't get smarter though. A mental midget that knows it. It's like being a zombie that knows it's a zombie.
R: 5 / I: 1
For example: Many years ago I played internet mahjong a lot. But eventually I stopped playing for a few months. Now, any time I consider playing again, I get paralyzed by this irrational fear. I think things like "it's too late for me to get back into this". And, of course, the fact that this fear stops me from catching back up only makes this fear grow larger and larger.
I once had a small youtube channel but it has been so many years since I uploaded anything, I feel like "it's too late for this, I missed the boat, what's done is done".
I know this fear is irrational but I still am held back it.
Does anyone relate to this fear AT ALL?
I am bad at describing this so this might not make any sense at all.
fear of keeping up?
I've heard a lot about "fear of missing out"/"fomo". But I have a different kind of fear that doesn't really make sense in my mind: a fear of keeping up with things, or, a fear of catching up.For example: Many years ago I played internet mahjong a lot. But eventually I stopped playing for a few months. Now, any time I consider playing again, I get paralyzed by this irrational fear. I think things like "it's too late for me to get back into this". And, of course, the fact that this fear stops me from catching back up only makes this fear grow larger and larger.
I once had a small youtube channel but it has been so many years since I uploaded anything, I feel like "it's too late for this, I missed the boat, what's done is done".
I know this fear is irrational but I still am held back it.
Does anyone relate to this fear AT ALL?
I am bad at describing this so this might not make any sense at all.
R: 46 / I: 2
why is he torturing us?
why does he give great amount of suffering and horror to poor believers while giving happiness and wealth to evil disbelieving people?
why is he so careless?
sage
what does he want from us?why is he torturing us?
why does he give great amount of suffering and horror to poor believers while giving happiness and wealth to evil disbelieving people?
why is he so careless?
R: 11 / I: 0
And bed rotting is crazy addictive. Time flies so quickly it's unbelievable. I spend most of my day lying in the bed, and I have gotten so skinny fat it is simply unbelievable, I am a mere 160cm tall ethnicel but I weigh a massive 150 pounds. My body looks so ugly that even my mama doesn't love me.
Has anybody else experiences this where you're at a prolonged stage of not being asleep and not being awake but in a weird in-between because of the comfyness of bed?
I have discovered the worst kind of rotting.
Since last year's December, I have discovered that you can just keep lying on the bed and enter a weird stage where you're neither asleep nor awake. It's crazy as it feels like what substance abusing would feel like although I have never even touched alcohol, weed, or even cigs let alone hard drugsAnd bed rotting is crazy addictive. Time flies so quickly it's unbelievable. I spend most of my day lying in the bed, and I have gotten so skinny fat it is simply unbelievable, I am a mere 160cm tall ethnicel but I weigh a massive 150 pounds. My body looks so ugly that even my mama doesn't love me.
Has anybody else experiences this where you're at a prolonged stage of not being asleep and not being awake but in a weird in-between because of the comfyness of bed?
R: 57 / I: 6
third world wizards living in first world country
Do you have good or bad experiences in your host country or do you feel accepted or tolerated in the society of the country? Have you had problems because you were a foreigner? Can you tell us about them?
R: 23 / I: 3
even when some try to gaslight themselves that their loser-lifestyle can be comfy, we all deep down know that this isnt supposed to be *life*.
objectively, we're the bottom of the barrel, rock bottom essentially; we can only cope by escaping reality and isolating ourselves and anytime we encounter the real fucking world, we're deemed as fucking subhumans by others AND ourselves.
we're rotting, just wasting space, energy and oxygen while the only thing left for us is waiting to die, respectively.
i dont get how we all havent already committed suicide by now cuz our fucking trash genetics have been haunting us for our entire existence, yet we collectively and voluntarily decided to continue living. why the fuck are we so stupid???
why shouldnt we all just kill ourselves?
most of us are so fucking unattractive, retarded, uneducated, unlovable, lazy/unambitious etc… that there is no point in continuing this misery.even when some try to gaslight themselves that their loser-lifestyle can be comfy, we all deep down know that this isnt supposed to be *life*.
objectively, we're the bottom of the barrel, rock bottom essentially; we can only cope by escaping reality and isolating ourselves and anytime we encounter the real fucking world, we're deemed as fucking subhumans by others AND ourselves.
we're rotting, just wasting space, energy and oxygen while the only thing left for us is waiting to die, respectively.
i dont get how we all havent already committed suicide by now cuz our fucking trash genetics have been haunting us for our entire existence, yet we collectively and voluntarily decided to continue living. why the fuck are we so stupid???
R: 67 / I: 21
I'm fucking jaded by life because of people and normalfags. I really can't take it anymore. I have limits and today I got my tolerence limit to the macimum, I don't feel good at all. normalfags make life disgusting when you're around them. I can't anymore today, I don't know if I could live like this during all my life.
I'm in pain physically. my heart hurts kind of. I feel depressed.
I'm fucking jaded by life because of people and normalfags. I really can't take it anymore. I have limits and today I got my tolerence limit to the macimum, I don't feel good at all. normalfags make life disgusting when you're around them. I can't anymore today, I don't know if I could live like this during all my life.
I'm in pain physically. my heart hurts kind of. I feel depressed.
R: 12 / I: 0
Growing up I lived as an outcast, a homosexual freak, a retard and dealt with rejection especialy during school where I was excluded for being part of the special ed & also had so many embarassing moments due to being incomptent and socially inept. Right now at 21 I still live at home with a dead end job, having ideation of suicide pretty often
I always fanatsize how my life wouldve turned out if I wasnt born mentally sick.
anyone fantasize about what life is like as a non autist
Ive been diagnosed with ASD, my iq is tested to be 82. Ive also dealt with sexual disorders & depression.Growing up I lived as an outcast, a homosexual freak, a retard and dealt with rejection especialy during school where I was excluded for being part of the special ed & also had so many embarassing moments due to being incomptent and socially inept. Right now at 21 I still live at home with a dead end job, having ideation of suicide pretty often
I always fanatsize how my life wouldve turned out if I wasnt born mentally sick.
R: 14 / I: 1
Been browsing 4chads /pol/ all day for happenings and apparently Musk is gonna end NEETbux. I'm disabled and am unable to work, so I guess this is it for me. It was nice wizzies, but I guess this is the end.
Been browsing 4chads /pol/ all day for happenings and apparently Musk is gonna end NEETbux. I'm disabled and am unable to work, so I guess this is it for me. It was nice wizzies, but I guess this is the end.
R: 16 / I: 1
I know many young wizards will call me a failed normie for saying this, but it's only until you reach a certain age that the loneliness of the wiz life starts to creep in and you begin to wonder where did all go wrong.
Getting older as a wizard.
I'm older than people who have kids who're already graduating from high school. I know it shouldn't bother me, but I can't help it. I feel like my life hasn't progress at all. I already have grey hairs on my beard and I don't feel my age at all. life as a wizard is like living in a perpetual limbo where nothing ever happens until you grow old and die.I know many young wizards will call me a failed normie for saying this, but it's only until you reach a certain age that the loneliness of the wiz life starts to creep in and you begin to wonder where did all go wrong.
R: 11 / I: 0
But at least i didnt have to worry about money/Rent but i just wasted away my youth and did nothing and now its way too late at 27. I should have enjoyed that time and just not worry,gotten high everyday drop out of school and do what i actually enjoy ,Go out blah blah so on and so on
I Wish i Had a time machine
Wasted Youth
I regret not enjoying my youth more,when i was 14-16 if i think back i could have had so much fun, instead i had to be a fucking depressed loser even Back then and just barley coped as to not end myself.But at least i didnt have to worry about money/Rent but i just wasted away my youth and did nothing and now its way too late at 27. I should have enjoyed that time and just not worry,gotten high everyday drop out of school and do what i actually enjoy ,Go out blah blah so on and so on
I Wish i Had a time machine
R: 11 / I: 0
Im on the verge of complete mental breakdown , i need help.
Please help im lost
Im 27 years old , i dont know anything , i graduated faculty of arts in 8 years failing once every year because i didnt study enough , i live in a place where there's compulsory recruitment and didnt apply because i am on antidepressants and don't want to waste a year of my life which is not very important but this city does not care if you die , normal citizens are not of much importance here anyway , i tried checking fiverr & freelancer because i didnt have an idea what to do if i want to work from home , it doesn't seem to be very promising , it felt impossible to get a place among all these beasts conquering every damn field in the category , i barely know anything about the world and autistic and i think im stupid too , but if i try to surpass my stupidity , what to learn to be able to work remotely and not eat shit for the rest of my life?Im on the verge of complete mental breakdown , i need help.
R: 23 / I: 1
I will tell you only the immediate reasons of my forced suicide:
1. Sick with infinite diseases and often in such pain that I want to stab myself or jump out the window. Can't eat walk make money or function for years due to this. Feel like I can die at any moment. I've been shitting black last few days which means internal bleeding.
2. I am broke and in infinite debt cause I chose to pursue treatment instead of paying taxes. I also lied to get money loaned to me because I needed it for drugs so I don't end up lobotomized. Its only a matter of time until they put me in prison.
3. I have a benzo addiction, if I don't take at least 10mg Xanax daily and skip one day I will have a grand mal seizure which will kill me or leave me with brain damage.
4. Stuck forever without a room or meter of space my whole life due to mentally retarded family.
…etc I probably forgot half but by now you should know the drill. Life took almost everything from me and I didn't do anything for a long time so I wouldn't call this living anyway. Only thing I have left is freedom of choice to die now or lose it and suffer a thousand times more and die later. I will die at age of 28 in 2024 via train guillotine or fail and become a vegetable. I have only one try and time is not on my side.
Personal suicide diary - final notes. 2 weeks to die 28 reasons
Last time I mentioned that I have 2 weeks to kms someone asked if I have a test or something in school. Let me tell you something interesting. I won't talk about my life story but I will enlighten you how bad life can get and what real suicide out of necessity means.I will tell you only the immediate reasons of my forced suicide:
1. Sick with infinite diseases and often in such pain that I want to stab myself or jump out the window. Can't eat walk make money or function for years due to this. Feel like I can die at any moment. I've been shitting black last few days which means internal bleeding.
2. I am broke and in infinite debt cause I chose to pursue treatment instead of paying taxes. I also lied to get money loaned to me because I needed it for drugs so I don't end up lobotomized. Its only a matter of time until they put me in prison.
3. I have a benzo addiction, if I don't take at least 10mg Xanax daily and skip one day I will have a grand mal seizure which will kill me or leave me with brain damage.
4. Stuck forever without a room or meter of space my whole life due to mentally retarded family.
…etc I probably forgot half but by now you should know the drill. Life took almost everything from me and I didn't do anything for a long time so I wouldn't call this living anyway. Only thing I have left is freedom of choice to die now or lose it and suffer a thousand times more and die later. I will die at age of 28 in 2024 via train guillotine or fail and become a vegetable. I have only one try and time is not on my side.
R: 5 / I: 0
I want to be a Med student in a couple of years, so–medical profession, lots of ethical issues I need to think for myself, without Religious teaching. euthanasia, stem cell research, contraception, IVF, Surrogate pregnancy without medical need (just voluntary commercial agreement), etc.
What to do? I have a psychiatrist, but haven't talked with him in like 4 months. im 29.
becoming atheist, lost about morality \suicide
The only ,or main, reason I totally suppressed my own ideation of erasing my own life, was not violating religious precepts..Also regarding morality, I genuinely dislike violence (im unable to deliberately kill an ant, for example, I make an effort to avoid stepping on them) ,but there are *so many* complex Ethical issues, with real impact on my life, which without religion, I have to start from scratch (deciding whether theyre good, or evil)I want to be a Med student in a couple of years, so–medical profession, lots of ethical issues I need to think for myself, without Religious teaching. euthanasia, stem cell research, contraception, IVF, Surrogate pregnancy without medical need (just voluntary commercial agreement), etc.
What to do? I have a psychiatrist, but haven't talked with him in like 4 months. im 29.
R: 12 / I: 1
I'm not assign nor believe in any belief or after life but I do believe in eugenics, Antinatalism, assisted suicide, the death penalty, abortion,and overall restricting human rights.
I met, heard so many lonely, depressed individuals who believe in a god yet have a heavy disdain for certain section of humanity be it racial or the opposite sex.
Is it because they trust a being that not human but higher? Yet that same being created the object they detest?
I don't have that dilemma since I don't adhere to any religious beliefs.
Do any of you do? If not do you believe being a misanthrope is silly or based?
Misanthropy and god
Are you a believer in a higher being and hate humanity?I'm not assign nor believe in any belief or after life but I do believe in eugenics, Antinatalism, assisted suicide, the death penalty, abortion,and overall restricting human rights.
I met, heard so many lonely, depressed individuals who believe in a god yet have a heavy disdain for certain section of humanity be it racial or the opposite sex.
Is it because they trust a being that not human but higher? Yet that same being created the object they detest?
I don't have that dilemma since I don't adhere to any religious beliefs.
Do any of you do? If not do you believe being a misanthrope is silly or based?
R: 12 / I: 0
Maybe the I'm viewing the past with rose tinted goggles now that I'm turning 30 soon, but I believe the internet as a whole has lost it's charm.
Back in my (relative) youth I could explore it endlessly find whatever to pass the time with.
It was a perfect escape from the real world, whether forums or online games at the time I could always find myself a group of people who shared some of my interests and interact with them.
It felt like I always was a part of a community, the web felt very tribal in a sense.
Now it all feels empty and hostile. It's almost the same experience as moving from a rural village to a big city just in the digital world.
It's all commercial, brands instead of people, everyone is hostile by default unless they try to sell you on something, nobody is there to have fun anymore. Nothing is authentic anymore.
Games are hyper-competitive.
Communities are fast and loose.
Maybe I'm just jaded, maybe I just don't have any real interest anymore, maybe I'm seeing the world in monochrome, but is that really true?
It feels like every corner of the internet has been shit on by a billion randoms constantly chiming in. Jumping into a space just to take a dump for a quick laugh resulting in very little long term traction for these spaces. Compared to old forums anyways.
People aren't invested in anything anymore, things are more permanent on this slow imageboard than they are on mainstream spaces.
Going back to the village analogy, it's like in a city, where you don't even know the next door neighbor in your concrete hives, so why not shit up the place?
Not sure if it's the age, brainrot, depression or anhedonia, but I just can't will myself to care about anything anymore. The only thing left to do on the internet for me seems to be chasing nostalgia. Other than that all that is available is an endless flood of slop that I can scroll while listening to some multi-hour video essay about some other slop.
Video games that used to be my primary way of passing time feel like such a chore nowadays. You get one, launch it, have to learn a couple dozen mechanics, random lingo for the same crap with dozens of numbers you can tune that often end up pointless or gimp you. Then a forced 1-2 hour handhold session with tutorials and cutscenes…
Games back then used to be launch and play. They were designed intuitively without all these frivolous systems like crafting and whatnot tacked on.
What do you do at your computer? I wish I could will myself to create things, pick up blender or something. My time spent in front of this screen feels more futile than ever.
What used to be an endless world of joy and wonder feels lost forever. It feels too much like real life.
I have never had a "real life" to begin with, but now I have nowhere to escape to.
Still recall that dead internet thread with the windows logo that had some real long posts in it, I wonder how long until we get flooded with WizGPT or something.
Lay down and rot seems to be the only thing left to do when everything else is taken.
Do you feel like there is nothing to do online anymore?
Do you feel like there is nothing to do online anymore?Maybe the I'm viewing the past with rose tinted goggles now that I'm turning 30 soon, but I believe the internet as a whole has lost it's charm.
Back in my (relative) youth I could explore it endlessly find whatever to pass the time with.
It was a perfect escape from the real world, whether forums or online games at the time I could always find myself a group of people who shared some of my interests and interact with them.
It felt like I always was a part of a community, the web felt very tribal in a sense.
Now it all feels empty and hostile. It's almost the same experience as moving from a rural village to a big city just in the digital world.
It's all commercial, brands instead of people, everyone is hostile by default unless they try to sell you on something, nobody is there to have fun anymore. Nothing is authentic anymore.
Games are hyper-competitive.
Communities are fast and loose.
Maybe I'm just jaded, maybe I just don't have any real interest anymore, maybe I'm seeing the world in monochrome, but is that really true?
It feels like every corner of the internet has been shit on by a billion randoms constantly chiming in. Jumping into a space just to take a dump for a quick laugh resulting in very little long term traction for these spaces. Compared to old forums anyways.
People aren't invested in anything anymore, things are more permanent on this slow imageboard than they are on mainstream spaces.
Going back to the village analogy, it's like in a city, where you don't even know the next door neighbor in your concrete hives, so why not shit up the place?
Not sure if it's the age, brainrot, depression or anhedonia, but I just can't will myself to care about anything anymore. The only thing left to do on the internet for me seems to be chasing nostalgia. Other than that all that is available is an endless flood of slop that I can scroll while listening to some multi-hour video essay about some other slop.
Video games that used to be my primary way of passing time feel like such a chore nowadays. You get one, launch it, have to learn a couple dozen mechanics, random lingo for the same crap with dozens of numbers you can tune that often end up pointless or gimp you. Then a forced 1-2 hour handhold session with tutorials and cutscenes…
Games back then used to be launch and play. They were designed intuitively without all these frivolous systems like crafting and whatnot tacked on.
What do you do at your computer? I wish I could will myself to create things, pick up blender or something. My time spent in front of this screen feels more futile than ever.
What used to be an endless world of joy and wonder feels lost forever. It feels too much like real life.
I have never had a "real life" to begin with, but now I have nowhere to escape to.
Still recall that dead internet thread with the windows logo that had some real long posts in it, I wonder how long until we get flooded with WizGPT or something.
Lay down and rot seems to be the only thing left to do when everything else is taken.
R: 15 / I: 0
Even if I try to improve it still won't get better
I feel like society has left me behind it is one of the most fastest moving things to ever exist, and I can never catch up to it because I've been quite stagnant my entire life. Even if I try to improve, I'm still leagues behind the average persons social progression. All I'm really left with is the mere remains of a career, wife, kids, etc.
R: 3 / I: 1
why the WIZCK do i fall into the depths of anguish whenever i ask for something i see as so dumb or stupid to some cowagie or anyone at all? i keep mumbling randomly how much i want to die, filled with regret for merely sending a message to a groid, thinking i have done something severely stupid. i dont want to die but i hate when this happens and it is very frequent
WIZCK normals, WIZCK EVERYTHING
why the WIZCK do i fall into the depths of anguish whenever i ask for something i see as so dumb or stupid to some cowagie or anyone at all? i keep mumbling randomly how much i want to die, filled with regret for merely sending a message to a groid, thinking i have done something severely stupid. i dont want to die but i hate when this happens and it is very frequent
WIZCK normals, WIZCK EVERYTHING
R: 29 / I: 2
I think one possible solution is to move back in with my parents. Being alone all the time is not good for me. But obviously after what happened there's no way they're going to let me, they probably don't feel safe and for good reason. Lmao. That was my only hope. I don't know what's going to happen to me.
And no, I'm not a drug addict, alcoholic or any of that stuff.
Dementia
I unironically think I'm starting to develop some kind of dementia. I'm 35 almost 36. More and more often I find myself spacing out and completely forgetting what I'm doing. I can't focus. I know it's not depression. I was very depressed 10 years ago and nearly killed myself, and I'm a lot happier now than back then, I haven't even thought about suicide in years, so that's not it. I'm not even as stressed as I used to be anymore. I don't even have a lot of negative thoughts. I get confused easily when talking to people and end up doing or saying inappropriate things unintentionally. For example I start dissociating while talking to people and start humming a song, put my hand on their shoulders, other stuff like that. This is going to sound like a massive troll but just the other day I visited my parents, I sat down at the dinner table, I started dissociating, my mom put her hand on my shoulder to get my attention, I couldn't snap out of it fast enough and nearly kissed her. She was horrified and turned away and didn't say anything the rest of the night.I think one possible solution is to move back in with my parents. Being alone all the time is not good for me. But obviously after what happened there's no way they're going to let me, they probably don't feel safe and for good reason. Lmao. That was my only hope. I don't know what's going to happen to me.
And no, I'm not a drug addict, alcoholic or any of that stuff.
R: 7 / I: 2
will it still come to me if i close myself off from the rest of the world wizards????
this diseased world
maybe all this is just a dream, a very long bad dream. this current era these people with no empathy for one another, this corrupt government and this polarization is just getting to me.will it still come to me if i close myself off from the rest of the world wizards????
R: 12 / I: 2
How badly will escitalopram fuck my libido? Is it permanent? They're also 9 months expired is it still safe to take? Will it lower my heart rate?
How badly will escitalopram fuck my libido? Is it permanent? They're also 9 months expired is it still safe to take? Will it lower my heart rate?
R: 10 / I: 1
anyone else not know what theyre gonna do with their future? i had a job at 21 in an amazon facility for about a month, but i lost it because my dad stopped driving me and i had to much anxiety to get myself there. ive been a NEET ever since i dropped out of middle school other than that i have no idea what im gonna do. most days i dont eat because im to anxious to go outside and where i live doesnt help, my dad uses our house as a flophouse for his bum friends to play loud shitty guitar music. i think my future is fucked, it might be better if i spared myself the suffering and committed suicide but i dont have the will to do it, just like i dont have the will to do anything else which is why im in this situation.
anyone else not know what theyre gonna do with their future? i had a job at 21 in an amazon facility for about a month, but i lost it because my dad stopped driving me and i had to much anxiety to get myself there. ive been a NEET ever since i dropped out of middle school other than that i have no idea what im gonna do. most days i dont eat because im to anxious to go outside and where i live doesnt help, my dad uses our house as a flophouse for his bum friends to play loud shitty guitar music. i think my future is fucked, it might be better if i spared myself the suffering and committed suicide but i dont have the will to do it, just like i dont have the will to do anything else which is why im in this situation.
R: 3 / I: 0
If one were to shoot a gun point blank range at their face, which bullet would guarantee a quick incapacitation?
If one were to shoot a gun point blank range at their face, which bullet would guarantee a quick incapacitation?
R: 7 / I: 0
Semaglutide is destroying me. Have to take it for weight loss because I’m a fat slob. I’m also highly addicted to junk food and sugar. I’m not yet an alcoholic but I have been drinking once or twice every week for years now. Something like a 12 pack every week in a single night. So it’s not like my body is fully dependent on alcohol but I’m almost there. However, binge eating and beer are the only pleasures I have in my life. Semaglutide is slowing down the eating part but I still have food cravings and feel anxious over not having the dopamine kick out of food. I also miss those good times while drinking alone in my room listening to music and daydreaming while gulping down lots of beer. It feels like an intimate moment all for myself. The only time where my feelings are free to flourish because my sober state is neutral and numb. I take antidepressants and they do nothing. I got the feeling semaglutide won’t make me happy either. Yeah I will be thin but what’s the point of staying healthy if I’m a retard friendless loser NEET with no education, no money and no will to live. I hate sobriety. I’m going to starve myself to death just to be miserable yet thin.
Semaglutide is destroying me. Have to take it for weight loss because I’m a fat slob. I’m also highly addicted to junk food and sugar. I’m not yet an alcoholic but I have been drinking once or twice every week for years now. Something like a 12 pack every week in a single night. So it’s not like my body is fully dependent on alcohol but I’m almost there. However, binge eating and beer are the only pleasures I have in my life. Semaglutide is slowing down the eating part but I still have food cravings and feel anxious over not having the dopamine kick out of food. I also miss those good times while drinking alone in my room listening to music and daydreaming while gulping down lots of beer. It feels like an intimate moment all for myself. The only time where my feelings are free to flourish because my sober state is neutral and numb. I take antidepressants and they do nothing. I got the feeling semaglutide won’t make me happy either. Yeah I will be thin but what’s the point of staying healthy if I’m a retard friendless loser NEET with no education, no money and no will to live. I hate sobriety. I’m going to starve myself to death just to be miserable yet thin.
R: 47 / I: 3
It feels like I'm on some lower plane of existence and it fills me with a mixture of despair and anger.
Anyone else avoid the public due to shame or rage?
I can't go out as a KHHV 43-year old when there are 25-30 year old men with their kids and wives walking around and driving their SUV's.It feels like I'm on some lower plane of existence and it fills me with a mixture of despair and anger.
R: 24 / I: 3
There used to be some kind of voice in my head and feeling in my gut navigating me through life but now all thats gone completely silent and numb, the only thing that consistently goes on in my conscious brain is music loops that I cannot control
I am driven entirely by my subconscious and have basically 0 input on any of my decisions or even the things I say, no clue why this has gotten so bad and I dont see how it could get any worse
I have made drastic changes in my life and uprooted so much shit but I cant consciously do shit for long, every time I go to sleep its basically impossible for me to smuggle in my conscious thoughts and goals from the day before, everything I do in the long term must be kinda slipped into my subconscious routine and it SUCKS!!
What the FUCK do I do to get rid of this?? I am gonna need to do something absolutely drastic to get me out of this rut, whether it be weed, mushrooms, crack or even a lobotomy idc at this point I just want my consciousness back
Is there a way to break through numbness
I'm not depressed but I'm not happy either, at some point from 13-14 I stopped feeling excited about anything and around 17 is when I basically shut down and now I dont even really think anymoreThere used to be some kind of voice in my head and feeling in my gut navigating me through life but now all thats gone completely silent and numb, the only thing that consistently goes on in my conscious brain is music loops that I cannot control
I am driven entirely by my subconscious and have basically 0 input on any of my decisions or even the things I say, no clue why this has gotten so bad and I dont see how it could get any worse
I have made drastic changes in my life and uprooted so much shit but I cant consciously do shit for long, every time I go to sleep its basically impossible for me to smuggle in my conscious thoughts and goals from the day before, everything I do in the long term must be kinda slipped into my subconscious routine and it SUCKS!!
What the FUCK do I do to get rid of this?? I am gonna need to do something absolutely drastic to get me out of this rut, whether it be weed, mushrooms, crack or even a lobotomy idc at this point I just want my consciousness back
R: 4 / I: 3
And wail life's discords into careless ears?
…
If any cares for the weak words here written,
It must be someone desolate, fate-smitten,
Whose faith and hope are dead, and who would die."
https://archive.org/details/cityofdreadfulni00thomrich/page/1/mode/1up
The City of Dreadful Night
"Why break the seals of mute despair unbiddenAnd wail life's discords into careless ears?
…
If any cares for the weak words here written,
It must be someone desolate, fate-smitten,
Whose faith and hope are dead, and who would die."
https://archive.org/details/cityofdreadfulni00thomrich/page/1/mode/1up
R: 26 / I: 1
Additionally, I am 22, but pursuing a worthless degree in IT, I don't know if I'd be able to get a job, I feel like I need to do something immediately to avoid this impending catastrophe. But I don't know what, it's like I have seen the writing on the wall.
And of course I have no other reason to believe that I am better than people here on the contrary I might be inferior, hell, I can't even drive properly, you've probably read a thousand of my posts here lamenting that by now.
Fuck man, I need to do something, upskill or some sort of productivity or self-improooovement shit or something, in the odd case that it might works. But this path is scary as fuck, this is leading straight up towards suicide. I am not as gutsy as other users here, who are fine with the idea of dying, I kind of want to live properly for a minute first before contemplating dying and I don't think I am even capable of suicide.
I don't even get along very well with my parents, we have a weird hate-love relationship where I am dependent upon them because I have no option.
I don't understand how I can be so unlucky, there are millions and millions of people, literally 99% of them just living their lives normally, I don't understand why do I have to be in the bottom 1% of this planet's population.
I feel an urgent need to do something to prevent this ship to colliding with an iceberg but I am just sitting and watching, if things continue this way, this is not going to end well.
But man all the posts here just scare me to no end. Everyone is talking about the problem but no one is really offering any real and followable solutions, this is not going to end well for either of us.
I don't know why I decided to make this post I feel a sheer sense of urgency and helplessness yet all I do is bedrot.
This website is scary.
There are a whole hosts of posts here where we explain how we're dependent upon our parents and how when they die we will die with them, I am starting to think that the lack of money is a real problem.Additionally, I am 22, but pursuing a worthless degree in IT, I don't know if I'd be able to get a job, I feel like I need to do something immediately to avoid this impending catastrophe. But I don't know what, it's like I have seen the writing on the wall.
And of course I have no other reason to believe that I am better than people here on the contrary I might be inferior, hell, I can't even drive properly, you've probably read a thousand of my posts here lamenting that by now.
Fuck man, I need to do something, upskill or some sort of productivity or self-improooovement shit or something, in the odd case that it might works. But this path is scary as fuck, this is leading straight up towards suicide. I am not as gutsy as other users here, who are fine with the idea of dying, I kind of want to live properly for a minute first before contemplating dying and I don't think I am even capable of suicide.
I don't even get along very well with my parents, we have a weird hate-love relationship where I am dependent upon them because I have no option.
I don't understand how I can be so unlucky, there are millions and millions of people, literally 99% of them just living their lives normally, I don't understand why do I have to be in the bottom 1% of this planet's population.
I feel an urgent need to do something to prevent this ship to colliding with an iceberg but I am just sitting and watching, if things continue this way, this is not going to end well.
But man all the posts here just scare me to no end. Everyone is talking about the problem but no one is really offering any real and followable solutions, this is not going to end well for either of us.
I don't know why I decided to make this post I feel a sheer sense of urgency and helplessness yet all I do is bedrot.
R: 138 / I: 20
>(80-95 IQ)
feels bad being a low IQ. everyone mocks you and you say absurdities.
low IQ rendez-vous
/!\ this thread is for low IQ wizards /!\>(80-95 IQ)
feels bad being a low IQ. everyone mocks you and you say absurdities.
R: 15 / I: 2
When I see men and succubi drive i feel like a cuck. I feel so emasculated. I have not felt this bad since I got kicked in the balls by a teenager in 4th grade.
The only silver lining is I am not in a completely car dependent country. I wonder how do people in America who don't have driving license survive. Fuck it. I am so fucking charred from within. Fucking teenage sluts can drive and I can't. Fuck it. Fuck fuck fuck it. Please God kill me in my sleep tonight.
ahhhhhh I can't cope.
I can't pass the driving test in Germany while foids drive BMWs. I am a total genetic subhuman. Driving involves genetic based machinery like Spatial Awareness and good motor controls, my subhuman genetics have none of that I failed despite spending 2500 euros. I am truly an embarrassment.When I see men and succubi drive i feel like a cuck. I feel so emasculated. I have not felt this bad since I got kicked in the balls by a teenager in 4th grade.
The only silver lining is I am not in a completely car dependent country. I wonder how do people in America who don't have driving license survive. Fuck it. I am so fucking charred from within. Fucking teenage sluts can drive and I can't. Fuck it. Fuck fuck fuck it. Please God kill me in my sleep tonight.
R: 15 / I: 0
I'm not from first world and every time I read mental health and despaircore discourse I see how people "try multiple therapists". How the fuck do you afford them? Don't they charge literal hundreds of dollars per session? And people do these for months, years. How are NEETs and jobless useless wizards supposed to "just get therapy"? For a few years I fantasized about how this magic therapy is cure-all and could fix me, but after asking people "what do you actually do in therapy" people give incredibly vague answers and either show no progress or they never really had this kind of problems i'm having in the first place. More to that, there are places like therapyabuse forum or other spaces which blatantly say that these sessions with expensive psychologists don't do anything at all at best, and are actively resentful of you if you're a failed person at worst.
How come so much of this mental health "please get help" stuff hinges on therapy stuff? I still feel like I'm missing something.
I'm not from first world and every time I read mental health and despaircore discourse I see how people "try multiple therapists". How the fuck do you afford them? Don't they charge literal hundreds of dollars per session? And people do these for months, years. How are NEETs and jobless useless wizards supposed to "just get therapy"? For a few years I fantasized about how this magic therapy is cure-all and could fix me, but after asking people "what do you actually do in therapy" people give incredibly vague answers and either show no progress or they never really had this kind of problems i'm having in the first place. More to that, there are places like therapyabuse forum or other spaces which blatantly say that these sessions with expensive psychologists don't do anything at all at best, and are actively resentful of you if you're a failed person at worst.
How come so much of this mental health "please get help" stuff hinges on therapy stuff? I still feel like I'm missing something.
R: 104 / I: 17
Can you drive?
Can you parallel park?
Can you survive without parallel parking where you live?
If you don't drive then how do you get by in the country you live in?
Do you feel unmanly if you can't/don't drive?
How does one cope knowing that foids can drive while you don't?
Can you drive?
Can you parallel park?
Can you survive without parallel parking where you live?
If you don't drive then how do you get by in the country you live in?
Do you feel unmanly if you can't/don't drive?
How does one cope knowing that foids can drive while you don't?
R: 17 / I: 0
This is actively ruining my fantasy life. I can't daydream properly because of this. It's like a one handed man daydreaming of being two handed which simply can't happen so even in his daydreams he's one handed.
What can I do? There is no solution for OCD. And no money to fix tight foreskin and frenulum breve.
How to cope knowing I am physically incapable of sex?
We all are not having sex. But at least you guys possess the ability to have sex. I on the other hand know that I won't be able to cum during sex because I have OCD, tight foreskin and tight frenulum.This is actively ruining my fantasy life. I can't daydream properly because of this. It's like a one handed man daydreaming of being two handed which simply can't happen so even in his daydreams he's one handed.
What can I do? There is no solution for OCD. And no money to fix tight foreskin and frenulum breve.
R: 1 / I: 0
1)Do every effort to not breed any life. Do every effort to not kill any life.
(so throwing scraps of organic food, or using a sewage system, breeds sort of micro-organisms, bacteria..it's haram. Using insecticides? it's haram, literally kills insects.
2)Do every effort to not contribute to economy of sectors who'd hate you(truckers hate wizzies. If you buy something bought to the store by truck, it's haram. Ditto for Farmers, etc), to not labor\work, to leech and mooch, as much as possible, from the State.
3)Master lucid dreaming, so your Qualia can experience anything without having to pay for it IRL. DO apply rules 1) and 2), even to your "scenarios" in the lucid dream. Ie; you don't buy a supercar, it's gifted to you.
4)Only do things which would make both your 5yo self, and your 80yo self, filled with admiration and fond rememberable.
5)remember constantly, your own mortality. have finishing your Bucket List as the daily, and long-term prioritised struggle
Wiz Ethical code
Im working on a wiz\neet inspired ethical code. Not a full philosophy, but a set of strict guidelines to morally abide by. thus far, they be:1)Do every effort to not breed any life. Do every effort to not kill any life.
(so throwing scraps of organic food, or using a sewage system, breeds sort of micro-organisms, bacteria..it's haram. Using insecticides? it's haram, literally kills insects.
2)Do every effort to not contribute to economy of sectors who'd hate you(truckers hate wizzies. If you buy something bought to the store by truck, it's haram. Ditto for Farmers, etc), to not labor\work, to leech and mooch, as much as possible, from the State.
3)Master lucid dreaming, so your Qualia can experience anything without having to pay for it IRL. DO apply rules 1) and 2), even to your "scenarios" in the lucid dream. Ie; you don't buy a supercar, it's gifted to you.
4)Only do things which would make both your 5yo self, and your 80yo self, filled with admiration and fond rememberable.
5)remember constantly, your own mortality. have finishing your Bucket List as the daily, and long-term prioritised struggle
R: 70 / I: 6
>go on indeed.com
>be qualified for literally 0 jobs
>all the shit manual labour jobs you ARE qualified for have thousands of applicants and are effectively blackvoids
>okay you realize now you need to go to college to get anywhere
>go to college
>figure out you need to make connections to get a job
>you have to be literally top 1% turbonormie with ZERO flaws ZERO mental illnesses ZERO doubt ALL confidence NEVER went through any major obstacle in life had a HEALTHY LOVING life to make the necessary connections for someone to like you and get you a job
>realize you're not that person
>you graduate
>you have tons of debt for a degree, doesn't matter if it's STEM, that isn't earning you money because you didn't make the right connections
>you still don't qualify for any jobs
>skilled trades are just as nepotistic if not more
>even if you DO miracolously get some shit job, it won't be enough to pay your bills or anything
>this is the reality of 80% of young westerners
>this is the reality of 100% of Wizards
So please tell me again is there even any point in getting a degree anymore if you lack connections?
Is it even worth it to get a college degree anymore since connections are clearly more important?
>graduate high school>go on indeed.com
>be qualified for literally 0 jobs
>all the shit manual labour jobs you ARE qualified for have thousands of applicants and are effectively blackvoids
>okay you realize now you need to go to college to get anywhere
>go to college
>figure out you need to make connections to get a job
>you have to be literally top 1% turbonormie with ZERO flaws ZERO mental illnesses ZERO doubt ALL confidence NEVER went through any major obstacle in life had a HEALTHY LOVING life to make the necessary connections for someone to like you and get you a job
>realize you're not that person
>you graduate
>you have tons of debt for a degree, doesn't matter if it's STEM, that isn't earning you money because you didn't make the right connections
>you still don't qualify for any jobs
>skilled trades are just as nepotistic if not more
>even if you DO miracolously get some shit job, it won't be enough to pay your bills or anything
>this is the reality of 80% of young westerners
>this is the reality of 100% of Wizards
So please tell me again is there even any point in getting a degree anymore if you lack connections?
R: 11 / I: 2
my whole life so far. It happened at very young age; I didn't want to go to school nor learn at home or do my homework. I was always playing flash games on the computer or play ps2 or nintendo DS and after that ps3. I didn't lile myself for that and itt continues nowdays. I don't know why I proscratinate. I hate doing things, in fact I was never used to that. I've never learn doing things by myself, always mom or dad did things for me, my mom did the cooking and my dad told me to do sport. I never listened, I just stayed at home in front of my tv. oh yeah the TV…watching programs in my bedroom all night long…it was comfy, at night you weren't bothered by others because I was kind of alone (my brother was sleeping) in front of the tv with no remorse of doing so because it was comfy and calm.
I think it's because of tv, video games and internet (smartphone addiction came way late).
when I discovered 4chan, I knew there will be no turning back: I totally "internetized" now. I'm am completly focuses on internet everyday. now it's not 4chan but wizchan I use and for a good reason: no succubi wanted me, maybe because I was too poor…all these factors made me a procrastinate person. when you're poor there'snt so much to do besode doing your home work and going to sport. no music lesson, or traveling during vacancy (just stay at home).
I know it's my fault and I know why it's because I didn't had MY things. I wish I had a computer just for me.
Anyway, in few years, I'll be 30 with no-skill wizard because it will be too late.
I wanted to know how to draw (but when I tried my drawings were so unmatch I gave up)
I wanted to create a video game (I tried some with rpg maker but I didn't made shit, just few maps and some events)
I wanted to do a lot of sport
(I wish I wasn't shy, which killed the social part of my life; so no sport because fear of others)
music playing (piano guitar drums, all I wanted to do was those but no money, family too poor)
science
(I really like science but am a brainlet)
technology and computers and coding
(I tried python, all I did was the hello world)
in fact I'm waiting a miracle to happen to me so I can do things and not procrastinating but I know it will not come: I don't leave my house, so no miracle for me.
Nowdays all I do is posting in wizchan and watch youtube video all day (no kidding). I've been doing it for 3-4 years now.
this is so unfair what I became but must be deserved.
How am I supposed to create things?! I'm a brainlet! (I can't play Yu-Gi-Oh! because you need to memorize card interactions and combo to play the game or I can't learn about philosophy because I lack good understanding).
At this point I just want to work at a factory and earn some money…I have like 0,001% of hope for my life to become better
kaleidoscope of my (shitty) life
it makes me sad I can't create things I like. I always procrastinate and I always did dmy whole life so far. It happened at very young age; I didn't want to go to school nor learn at home or do my homework. I was always playing flash games on the computer or play ps2 or nintendo DS and after that ps3. I didn't lile myself for that and itt continues nowdays. I don't know why I proscratinate. I hate doing things, in fact I was never used to that. I've never learn doing things by myself, always mom or dad did things for me, my mom did the cooking and my dad told me to do sport. I never listened, I just stayed at home in front of my tv. oh yeah the TV…watching programs in my bedroom all night long…it was comfy, at night you weren't bothered by others because I was kind of alone (my brother was sleeping) in front of the tv with no remorse of doing so because it was comfy and calm.
I think it's because of tv, video games and internet (smartphone addiction came way late).
when I discovered 4chan, I knew there will be no turning back: I totally "internetized" now. I'm am completly focuses on internet everyday. now it's not 4chan but wizchan I use and for a good reason: no succubi wanted me, maybe because I was too poor…all these factors made me a procrastinate person. when you're poor there'snt so much to do besode doing your home work and going to sport. no music lesson, or traveling during vacancy (just stay at home).
I know it's my fault and I know why it's because I didn't had MY things. I wish I had a computer just for me.
Anyway, in few years, I'll be 30 with no-skill wizard because it will be too late.
I wanted to know how to draw (but when I tried my drawings were so unmatch I gave up)
I wanted to create a video game (I tried some with rpg maker but I didn't made shit, just few maps and some events)
I wanted to do a lot of sport
(I wish I wasn't shy, which killed the social part of my life; so no sport because fear of others)
music playing (piano guitar drums, all I wanted to do was those but no money, family too poor)
science
(I really like science but am a brainlet)
technology and computers and coding
(I tried python, all I did was the hello world)
in fact I'm waiting a miracle to happen to me so I can do things and not procrastinating but I know it will not come: I don't leave my house, so no miracle for me.
Nowdays all I do is posting in wizchan and watch youtube video all day (no kidding). I've been doing it for 3-4 years now.
this is so unfair what I became but must be deserved.
How am I supposed to create things?! I'm a brainlet! (I can't play Yu-Gi-Oh! because you need to memorize card interactions and combo to play the game or I can't learn about philosophy because I lack good understanding).
At this point I just want to work at a factory and earn some money…I have like 0,001% of hope for my life to become better
R: 107 / I: 20
How old are you? What brought you to where you are? What prevents you from changing?
How old are you? What brought you to where you are? What prevents you from changing?
R: 4 / I: 0
Any other wizzes gay/bi? I don't mean to talk about wanting relationships, I mean do any wizzes ever get picked out by normies because of your weak/feminine nature? What do you think about that retarded lgbt movement?
Any other wizzes gay/bi? I don't mean to talk about wanting relationships, I mean do any wizzes ever get picked out by normies because of your weak/feminine nature? What do you think about that retarded lgbt movement?
R: 9 / I: 1
everytime I start to think of my bleak future I end up thinking about suicide to give my self a sense of hope that the bad things i worry about can be prevented or stopped when they happen, at this point I want to end it even if it's through painful means, because the collective suffering of me living a standard lifespan will most likely outweight the the amount of suffering I would feel by CTB'ng painfully.
everytime I start to think of my bleak future I end up thinking about suicide to give my self a sense of hope that the bad things i worry about can be prevented or stopped when they happen, at this point I want to end it even if it's through painful means, because the collective suffering of me living a standard lifespan will most likely outweight the the amount of suffering I would feel by CTB'ng painfully.
R: 30 / I: 3
I basically don't feel pleasure from anything except food, maybe. Stories, games, art don't really touch me at all and it sucks because I remember how much I loved escapism before and how it brought excitement, joy, sadness etc. Now it's all blank. I want to bring emotions back, want to bring excitement, joy, even sweet sadness would do honestly, I miss being profoundly sad.
Have any of you managed to revert to your older non-anhedonic self?
Anhedonia
How do you guys fight anhedonia? Do you have any experience with it?I basically don't feel pleasure from anything except food, maybe. Stories, games, art don't really touch me at all and it sucks because I remember how much I loved escapism before and how it brought excitement, joy, sadness etc. Now it's all blank. I want to bring emotions back, want to bring excitement, joy, even sweet sadness would do honestly, I miss being profoundly sad.
Have any of you managed to revert to your older non-anhedonic self?
R: 62 / I: 8
1. an anecdote from someone who has already succeded in quitting
2. an ad for an app
3. people who aren't addicted to porn talking about porn addiction
Is this shit just a grift? I want to hear about it from people who are actually struggling with it, not annoying liberal psychiatrists or infographics.
Please help me, I don't want to be like this anymore
Porn Addiction Grift
I'm trying to quit porn (cold turkey) and 90% of the content I've seen online has been:1. an anecdote from someone who has already succeded in quitting
2. an ad for an app
3. people who aren't addicted to porn talking about porn addiction
Is this shit just a grift? I want to hear about it from people who are actually struggling with it, not annoying liberal psychiatrists or infographics.
Please help me, I don't want to be like this anymore
R: 56 / I: 1
Prior to globalisation, the succubi of my mother's generation were quite different, they themselves considered it shameful to wear revealing dresses, they always used to dress modestly, while most marriages were arranged they weren't forced, so while succubi were free to select their mate, and reject, they could do it only once and that guaranteed a equal distribution of succubi among men, and everyone was much more happier in that system as everyone got a mate.
And most succubi and men were virgin prior to marriage, it was considered shameful for both men and succubi to be non-virgin. As a matter of fact my native language doesn't even have a word for virgin, and there was no virgin shaming. But nowadays, kids use the word "virgin" as an insult. Most succubi lose their virginity quite early, and finding a virgin succubi is rare.
2-3 decades ago, succubi didn't consider it shameful or bad to be housewives, on the contrary they were proud to be one, or they studied and took a break for 5 years and then resumed their jobs, to go through marriage, pregnancy, and infancy of their child, and when they started working, the guy took the equal burden of the household chores and jobs.
But now, it's all changed, it's considered cool to smoke, drink, do drugs, wear skimply clothes, lose virginity early on, and then find a betabuxxer. Or in some cases succubi get paid so much that they don't even need a betabuxxer any more, while men struggle to get jobs, and ugly in men in particular end up at a much greater disadvantage.
And they act exactly like Western succubi, and I assume Western succubi are insufferable but due to the lost control of Western Men, a lot of Western Men now look towards East to get a semi-decent succubi. Leaving the same Eastern Men, to subscribe to redpill grifters like Andrew Tate, or bluepill themselves to oblivion.
And mind you only the degeneracy of the West has been copied and imported from the West, and meanwhile Western Culture's good and non-degenerate parts are completely ignored. In my country we now have things like undie runs (can anyone from the West explain this? what causes so utter lack of shame in people and succubi that they do undie runs at places of studying like UCLA?), nude beaches (when most men and succubi bathed at least 60% clothed in public areas), clubs, pubs, nightclubs, raves. They even talk like Western People, there is nothing remotely eastern about them.
Life for me could've been so much different if I was just born 2-3 decades ago, but right now it feels like I will never get to start a family of my own and will never get to live a normal ordinary life.
Are there wizzies from any non-Western countries upset at the Westernisation of their country?
Bascially, my country and it's culture has shifted rapidly, as soon as most of the people have come in contact with the West through internet, liberalisation, and globalisation. And I believe that is one of the reason which has prompted me to become a wizard.Prior to globalisation, the succubi of my mother's generation were quite different, they themselves considered it shameful to wear revealing dresses, they always used to dress modestly, while most marriages were arranged they weren't forced, so while succubi were free to select their mate, and reject, they could do it only once and that guaranteed a equal distribution of succubi among men, and everyone was much more happier in that system as everyone got a mate.
And most succubi and men were virgin prior to marriage, it was considered shameful for both men and succubi to be non-virgin. As a matter of fact my native language doesn't even have a word for virgin, and there was no virgin shaming. But nowadays, kids use the word "virgin" as an insult. Most succubi lose their virginity quite early, and finding a virgin succubi is rare.
2-3 decades ago, succubi didn't consider it shameful or bad to be housewives, on the contrary they were proud to be one, or they studied and took a break for 5 years and then resumed their jobs, to go through marriage, pregnancy, and infancy of their child, and when they started working, the guy took the equal burden of the household chores and jobs.
But now, it's all changed, it's considered cool to smoke, drink, do drugs, wear skimply clothes, lose virginity early on, and then find a betabuxxer. Or in some cases succubi get paid so much that they don't even need a betabuxxer any more, while men struggle to get jobs, and ugly in men in particular end up at a much greater disadvantage.
And they act exactly like Western succubi, and I assume Western succubi are insufferable but due to the lost control of Western Men, a lot of Western Men now look towards East to get a semi-decent succubi. Leaving the same Eastern Men, to subscribe to redpill grifters like Andrew Tate, or bluepill themselves to oblivion.
And mind you only the degeneracy of the West has been copied and imported from the West, and meanwhile Western Culture's good and non-degenerate parts are completely ignored. In my country we now have things like undie runs (can anyone from the West explain this? what causes so utter lack of shame in people and succubi that they do undie runs at places of studying like UCLA?), nude beaches (when most men and succubi bathed at least 60% clothed in public areas), clubs, pubs, nightclubs, raves. They even talk like Western People, there is nothing remotely eastern about them.
Life for me could've been so much different if I was just born 2-3 decades ago, but right now it feels like I will never get to start a family of my own and will never get to live a normal ordinary life.
R: 18 / I: 0
Loungehoused, Domesticated, and overly-sheltered
i don't even know how to tie my own shoes, my mom always just did it for me whenever i got a new pair of shoes and it never fell apart. and before you post it yes i watched that spongebob episode, i watched so many tutorials in general but i just can't do the loop part at all. i think im just retarded or something, i have been sheltered my whole life, mom does EVERYTHING for me, even when I really want to do something, she prefers to do it her self instead of letting me learn, i know this sounds like a made-up problem, but being one your mid 20s and not knowing how do anything at all feels so ugh… R: 19 / I: 1
I hate Lust
I dislike the feeling of lust. I find it responsible for alot of the negative patterns in my life that are preventing me from acquiring a peaceful existance. I have already accepted that I will not have a future that involves another human being but that doesn't give me the resolve to stop watching porn / lust over someone in my mind. Have any wizards here managed to overcome lust and if so, How did you do it? R: 1 / I: 1
Sick by wagecucking
Did any of you had a soul crushing job until he couldnt put up with it anymore and fell sick? Share some experiences!
R: 2 / I: 0
Its fucking insane how trivally kid making has become. When I ask my mother, why she decided to make family and born me, she said some shit about glass of water, giving joy of life to someone; something about peak of love between man and succubus and so on. And now imagine to realize the moment of born. Realize, that you was brought from eternal dark… "here". I dont speak about antinatalism, though I like the idea. I speak about dread of giving and taking life. I already have tread here, called "Siberian apprentice shizo ideas". Its about self consciousness. And I would like to connect it to that post.
And now, lets forget about biology. Lets think about world where kids born already conscious. Their scream is not about pain. Its about realisation of their parents …punishment on them. Its about being doomed, being a cell on a mad and cruel Gods body, who rot in all dimensions, in past, in future.
Actually, I want to bring all my thoughts in order and write a small book or article cycle about shit in my head. If you find it interesting, let me know and I will translate it from Russian to let you read it.
Scared to be born
Hello, wizards. Do you remember the moment when you was born? I dont remember too. Lets not speak about processes in babies brain, Im here to ask you a question. Have you ever think about how the first -homo was scared when he realized his existence?Its fucking insane how trivally kid making has become. When I ask my mother, why she decided to make family and born me, she said some shit about glass of water, giving joy of life to someone; something about peak of love between man and succubus and so on. And now imagine to realize the moment of born. Realize, that you was brought from eternal dark… "here". I dont speak about antinatalism, though I like the idea. I speak about dread of giving and taking life. I already have tread here, called "Siberian apprentice shizo ideas". Its about self consciousness. And I would like to connect it to that post.
And now, lets forget about biology. Lets think about world where kids born already conscious. Their scream is not about pain. Its about realisation of their parents …punishment on them. Its about being doomed, being a cell on a mad and cruel Gods body, who rot in all dimensions, in past, in future.
Actually, I want to bring all my thoughts in order and write a small book or article cycle about shit in my head. If you find it interesting, let me know and I will translate it from Russian to let you read it.
R: 17 / I: 0
Being Neurodivergent in a Neurotypical World
Being neurodivergent in this world is a fucking death sentence. This world does not and will never understand what it's like to think the way that we do and will keep themselves in constant willful ignorance from here to kingdom come. Forcing us to get worse into mental health issues until we go actually insane and do something drastic, but even then we'll still be demonized and everything because again…willful ignorance. I can't stand this planet.
R: 7 / I: 0
It's a peaceful life waking up knowing that your happiness does not rely on someone (pets are exception)
Why do yall want a relationship?
So I turned 20 recently and for already 6 years I'm confident that you don't need a relationship or a gf to live a happy life. I won't deny that I wanted a gf at some point, but I was kid and stupid (like 11-13 y/o. Now I *want* to be alone until I die. And before saying anything consider the following: no relationship means no one will cheat on you, no one will break up with you, you don't have to spent shit ton of money on a succubus, you don't have to raise kids, which means even more money saved. And if you're feeling lonely, get yourself a pet.It's a peaceful life waking up knowing that your happiness does not rely on someone (pets are exception)
R: 23 / I: 2
Is being a male with bpd a fate worse than death? Do any of you know for certain you have BPD?
Is being a male with bpd a fate worse than death? Do any of you know for certain you have BPD?
R: 22 / I: 4
i have no reason to live anymore. ask me anything.
- no, i will not kill myself
- yes, i have tried hobbies
- no, i am not diagnosed with depression
i have no reason to live anymore. ask me anything.
- no, i will not kill myself
- yes, i have tried hobbies
- no, i am not diagnosed with depression
R: 7 / I: 1
i'm 27, i live with my parents, i don't have a job and to be honest i don't give a fuck anymore. i would have wanted to move out 5 years ago, when i had a ton of ambitions, but my fuckin overprotective mother didn't give me a hint of freedom. now they hate me just for being. like everyone else. i used to be good at history and wanted to move in that direction, and now i'm NEET who spends all my free time on the internet and goes to the store once a week. i hate them for not letting me realize myself in a life that i don't see any point in right now.
thank u mom
i'm 27, i live with my parents, i don't have a job and to be honest i don't give a fuck anymore. i would have wanted to move out 5 years ago, when i had a ton of ambitions, but my fuckin overprotective mother didn't give me a hint of freedom. now they hate me just for being. like everyone else. i used to be good at history and wanted to move in that direction, and now i'm NEET who spends all my free time on the internet and goes to the store once a week. i hate them for not letting me realize myself in a life that i don't see any point in right now.
thank u mom
R: 8 / I: 0
Does anyone else live like they will have another chance at life despite not being religious? I am so displeased with my starting point in life and how much better others have it without needing to put in any effort that I mentally checked out and have been a low-effort hedonist focusing on being comfortable with the least effort in the moment. Like refusing to play an unbalanced game. But there is no alternative, no one is going to balance life. I'm still in disbelief that this will be the only way I get to experience life. Born in times of great technological progress and opportunity but unable to enjoy it.
Does anyone else live like they will have another chance at life despite not being religious? I am so displeased with my starting point in life and how much better others have it without needing to put in any effort that I mentally checked out and have been a low-effort hedonist focusing on being comfortable with the least effort in the moment. Like refusing to play an unbalanced game. But there is no alternative, no one is going to balance life. I'm still in disbelief that this will be the only way I get to experience life. Born in times of great technological progress and opportunity but unable to enjoy it.
R: 31 / I: 4
Emptiest resume ever
I think it's genuinely just plain over if you don't have education, skills or job experience at the age of 25. It feels like I should just play videogames until anhedonia reaches critical condition and then to just off myself. I lost to job market. I lost to capitalism. My ego and my weakness won't allow me to live as burger king worker. Not to mention i'd be a useless worthless asset in any job anyway. Fuck
R: 9 / I: 0
Its the type of pain most people live with, a background pain. Ambient pain. The idea of dying alone. The idea of being a virgin. having so skills. No purpose. every day is exactly the same, you never leave the house, you cant, you cant drive a car, you are too tired to walk. and its going to be like this for the rest of your life.
You were born to die.
every second hurdling faster and faster towards death.
and no one cares, even if you told someone they would despise you.
you might as well be a corpse already, let the bugs and birds eat you, rot away till you are nothing but bones, let your bones turn to dust, let a gust of wind blow you away.
all that pain, and one day it was like you were never there.
Its the type of pain most people live with, a background pain. Ambient pain. The idea of dying alone. The idea of being a virgin. having so skills. No purpose. every day is exactly the same, you never leave the house, you cant, you cant drive a car, you are too tired to walk. and its going to be like this for the rest of your life.
You were born to die.
every second hurdling faster and faster towards death.
and no one cares, even if you told someone they would despise you.
you might as well be a corpse already, let the bugs and birds eat you, rot away till you are nothing but bones, let your bones turn to dust, let a gust of wind blow you away.
all that pain, and one day it was like you were never there.
R: 5 / I: 0
At what age have you last time felt content, happy, hopeful about your situation? At which age it ended, and you changed? For me it's probably 14 years old. I enjoyed the hell out of the internet and videogames. But looking back I think it was always leading to this neet wiz suicide-considering lifestyle.
At what age have you last time felt content, happy, hopeful about your situation? At which age it ended, and you changed? For me it's probably 14 years old. I enjoyed the hell out of the internet and videogames. But looking back I think it was always leading to this neet wiz suicide-considering lifestyle.
R: 5 / I: 0
Not sure if this fits here, but
I often make bets with myself; for example, I have not eaten for 2 weeks, and if I do something good, maybe, and if I fail, something bad will happen again. This maybe is just coping, but I remember failing some of these challenges and something bad happening that still haunts me to this day and makes me feel deeply sad about it.
Not sure if this fits here, but
I often make bets with myself; for example, I have not eaten for 2 weeks, and if I do something good, maybe, and if I fail, something bad will happen again. This maybe is just coping, but I remember failing some of these challenges and something bad happening that still haunts me to this day and makes me feel deeply sad about it.
R: 59 / I: 3
The problem is this, I am still a student and the effects of having low T are affecting my studies greatly, risking me going into a negative feedback loop where I feel like it's gonna take a toll on my studies. And thus reduce my likelihood of getting a job. I have managed to start gym after intense fighting with my parents.
But there is only so much I can push them as someone who is dependent upon them. I am sorry to post this here, after few long years, I just burst our crying today when my parents denied me to visit a urologist, while I have no symptoms (apart from slight shrinkage of my testicles), I probably have Varicocele too.
This is more of an SOS post, please if there is someone here who can take me away from my parents please do. Please give me a home, some love, some help to fix myself. I hate my life, I hate constantly being low T. My parents also hate all sorts of medicines, and they are going to freak out if the doctor recommends a surgery for varicocele. I can't get a job in this tough market either. It's truly hellish being a crab in the third world shithole.
Low T is affecting all areas of my life, and there is no redemption in sight, is my entire life going to be like this from this point on?
My existence is hellish.
I am that same Indian guy who made the post about having C-PTSD and living with abusive parents. I have hit a new low, I think I am becoming low T, I check every symptom on the box, having brain fog, constantly fatigue, constantly sleepy, not being able to get it up anymore, no more morning woods, and no erections.The problem is this, I am still a student and the effects of having low T are affecting my studies greatly, risking me going into a negative feedback loop where I feel like it's gonna take a toll on my studies. And thus reduce my likelihood of getting a job. I have managed to start gym after intense fighting with my parents.
But there is only so much I can push them as someone who is dependent upon them. I am sorry to post this here, after few long years, I just burst our crying today when my parents denied me to visit a urologist, while I have no symptoms (apart from slight shrinkage of my testicles), I probably have Varicocele too.
This is more of an SOS post, please if there is someone here who can take me away from my parents please do. Please give me a home, some love, some help to fix myself. I hate my life, I hate constantly being low T. My parents also hate all sorts of medicines, and they are going to freak out if the doctor recommends a surgery for varicocele. I can't get a job in this tough market either. It's truly hellish being a crab in the third world shithole.
Low T is affecting all areas of my life, and there is no redemption in sight, is my entire life going to be like this from this point on?
R: 4 / I: 0
Trapped by Monotony
Is there anyone else who is trapped in routine and monotony and never notices the days going by, rotting alone in their room? I have lost the motivation to play games, watch anime, or even go on imageboards. I've experienced that since last year, well I don't even know anymore, I lost consciousness on how much time has passed and is passing by. I can't take the lack of genuine feelings anymore. I used to escape monotony with games but they don't bring me pleasure anymore. I used to have one or two online friends but time did it's thing and the interest vanished. My life consists of sleeping during the day, waking up to eat with my family and, at night, if my mind is not flooded by overthinking and negative/nonsensical obsessive thoughts, watching videos or listening to music. R: 4 / I: 0
Finally dying after a life that's been a nightmare
Somehow i went and fell back into the bathtub after i already got out, almost like i slipped on air. Hit myself on the head and spine. I'm 90% sure that I have a hematoma in my brain because my head hasn't stopped hurting after a week and i had some very interesting symptoms. I hope it bursts my brain and kills me. I'm an illness-ridden, debt-broke hardcore benzo addict with no home(live like a rat without my own room for 30 years) that has to eat a pack a day or will have a grand mal seizure anyway, so very soon I would be forced to suicide anyway. I just hope that it won't turn me into a vegetable instead, but i lose every gamble so I can't count on luck. Well, something will do me in eventually, one thing or the other. I can feel death is half a step away. Goodbye brothers. R: 6 / I: 0
The process of birth is an humilliation ritual.
The process of growing up is an humilliation ritual.
The process of death is an humilliation ritual.
Through all these process the individual is humilliated, his spirit shattered into pieces. At the end there's nothing but an empty shell. We're born alone and we die alone and the universe is constantly teasing and humilliating us. The human experience is that of pain and suffering. Births are painful, deaths are painful. Demoralized, disenfranchised, humilliated, broken. Our lives are misserable and only the sweet release of the endless void could save our soul from the torment of existence. I loath humanity just as much as I loath myself and my own existence. Afraid to live and afraid to die. Pathetic husk rotten inside.
The process of birth is an humilliation ritual.
The process of growing up is an humilliation ritual.
The process of death is an humilliation ritual.
Through all these process the individual is humilliated, his spirit shattered into pieces. At the end there's nothing but an empty shell. We're born alone and we die alone and the universe is constantly teasing and humilliating us. The human experience is that of pain and suffering. Births are painful, deaths are painful. Demoralized, disenfranchised, humilliated, broken. Our lives are misserable and only the sweet release of the endless void could save our soul from the torment of existence. I loath humanity just as much as I loath myself and my own existence. Afraid to live and afraid to die. Pathetic husk rotten inside.
R: 19 / I: 3
This thread is for high IQ wizards (multiple standard deviations) who still managed to fuck up life. Having a high IQ without being nurtured properly as a child can cause you to miss out on all sorts of lessons like how to focus, how to apply effort and how to relate to others, deficiencies which echo through the rest of our lives. Like any neurodivergence it also makes living in a world ran by people not like us difficult. You don't have to have taken an IQ test to post here, but it's best if you've had some external validation beyond self-identity or being correct about stuff.
Some rules to keep it peaceful and ego-free:
>Don't state your IQ unless asked.
>Don't accuse others of not belonging here.
>No politics or demographics talk.
High IQ cry thread
or: Born to think, taught to stink.This thread is for high IQ wizards (multiple standard deviations) who still managed to fuck up life. Having a high IQ without being nurtured properly as a child can cause you to miss out on all sorts of lessons like how to focus, how to apply effort and how to relate to others, deficiencies which echo through the rest of our lives. Like any neurodivergence it also makes living in a world ran by people not like us difficult. You don't have to have taken an IQ test to post here, but it's best if you've had some external validation beyond self-identity or being correct about stuff.
Some rules to keep it peaceful and ego-free:
>Don't state your IQ unless asked.
>Don't accuse others of not belonging here.
>No politics or demographics talk.
R: 69 / I: 7
Life post the age of 30
36 years old Wizard here with Schizophrenia living with mom (dad died a long time ago) I don't have any qualifications or income I am disabled and there is no NEETbux in my under developed country my hairline is receding due to how much I stress on my future in every single hour once my mom passes away I will be beyond doomed nobody in my family will support me they all live far away and they can barely support their own survival let alone to support another useless eater my mom already has health issues but nothing too severe (yet) is it possible to turn my life around in this late ago? people say "it's never too late" God I wish my parents never gave birth to me I heard stories og people who spent decades in prison and left by their 40s and still ended up starting a business and buying a house but I can tell it's an abnormal case once you enter your 30s without any skills qualifications or are capeable of work the chance of you being capeable of turning your life around becomes too small.
R: 20 / I: 4
I really hope this threat does not count as succubus worship also I am not sure if this board is right place for me to talk about this.
In short, I can no longer get attached to any popular female fictional character simply because some degenerate will draw porn of it. It sounds autistic, but I don't care. This oddly is not the case with male characters; I can get attached to them even if they are popular and some degenerate makes porn of it.
But the problem with obscure female fictional characters is they probably won't get fan art mostly unless you know how to draw.
But I found an third way or a anomaly? that breaks this dilemma, so to speak, and it made me both the happiest man on this rock and the saddest man on this rock….
I really hope this threat does not count as succubus worship also I am not sure if this board is right place for me to talk about this.
In short, I can no longer get attached to any popular female fictional character simply because some degenerate will draw porn of it. It sounds autistic, but I don't care. This oddly is not the case with male characters; I can get attached to them even if they are popular and some degenerate makes porn of it.
But the problem with obscure female fictional characters is they probably won't get fan art mostly unless you know how to draw.
But I found an third way or a anomaly? that breaks this dilemma, so to speak, and it made me both the happiest man on this rock and the saddest man on this rock….
R: 16 / I: 3
Why am I so pathetic? I don't even have it that bad, just slightly below average but still with all the tools to succeed and yet all I do is complain because there are others who have it better.
I live in perpetual regret because when I become aware of a problem instead of working on fixing it I hate and pity myself for having the kind of personality that would cause that problem. In my 20s I was making posts like "is it too late to …" and now in my 30s I feel like a fool for not doing anything back then but now again I am pitying myself and paralyzed by the reality of the wasted time I won't get back and the effects of aging with nothing to show for.
I feel like by now I've shown what kind of person I am and there is a very hard cap on what I can achieve. Any hope for change seems delusional.
Why am I so pathetic? I don't even have it that bad, just slightly below average but still with all the tools to succeed and yet all I do is complain because there are others who have it better.
I live in perpetual regret because when I become aware of a problem instead of working on fixing it I hate and pity myself for having the kind of personality that would cause that problem. In my 20s I was making posts like "is it too late to …" and now in my 30s I feel like a fool for not doing anything back then but now again I am pitying myself and paralyzed by the reality of the wasted time I won't get back and the effects of aging with nothing to show for.
I feel like by now I've shown what kind of person I am and there is a very hard cap on what I can achieve. Any hope for change seems delusional.
R: 26 / I: 0
I'm so fucking ugly and disgusting
It's painful to look myself in the mirror
I wanna kill myself
I'm so fucking ugly and disgusting
It's painful to look myself in the mirror
I wanna kill myself
R: 5 / I: 3
Sorry the pic is too unrelated, I hope I made my point reach all of you
obsessesion about suicide despite barely being "suicidal"
For several years I had the idea of ending my life in the back of my head despite barely ever experiencing extreme depression in any remote way, I spent long periods reading about various suicide methods at sanctionedsuicide and even making threads asking for technical questions related to suicide methods, but it's something I never planned to do at any time soon, and I still have no plans to do it at anytime soon at the moment, I made a thread here about this topic several years and some Anons thought I was being an attention whore just because My life did not suck enough that I would want to end it instantly, I am not too unhappy at the moment, but I know shit might hit the fan at some point, and I will have no other choice, I also fear ageing and getting too old, it's really the biggest issue with being a Wizard, oneday I will be too old and weak to even hold a glass of water, And I will have no children or grand children to help me, I have an obsession with suicide, the amount of time I spent thinking about it is so absurd given I am not even that pessimistic of a person.Sorry the pic is too unrelated, I hope I made my point reach all of you
R: 18 / I: 6
Chapters 1-3 of 10
I. Introduction
II. Servant and Widow
III. The Suicide Horror and the Savage
The blurb states:
"This book is the first comprehensive study to be written in English of the infinitely various attitudes towards suicide throughout the history of the human race. The causes of suicide in primitive, classical, mediæval and more modern times, and the points of view which have led philosophers to condemn or approve the custom, are expounded with a scholarly thoroughness in which pedantry plays no part, so that the volume is a gold-mine of out-of-the-way information on the subject."
From the book:
"A certain number of individuals have continuously found this act the most efficient and satisfactory response to circumstances they did not choose to put up with or to which they could find no other reply."
"The personal suicide is usually persecuted by society or only grudgingly recognised even in times of tolerance."
"Suicide is the price paid by many to view the unfamiliar new landscape. The transition to self-sufficiency has often lain for the weak, unfortunate and misplaced via self-destruction. Such deaths, which have been multiplying for a hundred years, are oddly distributed taxes levied against gigantic change."
"When the number of those who are giddy standing alone grows less, then time will reduce the number of suicides also."
Suicide: A Social and Historical Study 1938
https://archive.org/details/suicide-fedden-1938Chapters 1-3 of 10
I. Introduction
II. Servant and Widow
III. The Suicide Horror and the Savage
The blurb states:
"This book is the first comprehensive study to be written in English of the infinitely various attitudes towards suicide throughout the history of the human race. The causes of suicide in primitive, classical, mediæval and more modern times, and the points of view which have led philosophers to condemn or approve the custom, are expounded with a scholarly thoroughness in which pedantry plays no part, so that the volume is a gold-mine of out-of-the-way information on the subject."
From the book:
"A certain number of individuals have continuously found this act the most efficient and satisfactory response to circumstances they did not choose to put up with or to which they could find no other reply."
"The personal suicide is usually persecuted by society or only grudgingly recognised even in times of tolerance."
"Suicide is the price paid by many to view the unfamiliar new landscape. The transition to self-sufficiency has often lain for the weak, unfortunate and misplaced via self-destruction. Such deaths, which have been multiplying for a hundred years, are oddly distributed taxes levied against gigantic change."
"When the number of those who are giddy standing alone grows less, then time will reduce the number of suicides also."
R: 15 / I: 3
i've been daydreaming about living in a world where we stagnated on a 1990's level of technology.
today's internet, with its smartphone-social media, hyperpolitics and ultradopaminergic entertainment is such a mindrape that i'm starting to get really really tired of it…
i'm a millennial but i wish i was born in the 80s or even the 70s just so i could live and relatively normal adult life in the 90s and 00s.
i wanna go back to an analogic world.
i've been daydreaming about living in a world where we stagnated on a 1990's level of technology.
today's internet, with its smartphone-social media, hyperpolitics and ultradopaminergic entertainment is such a mindrape that i'm starting to get really really tired of it…
i'm a millennial but i wish i was born in the 80s or even the 70s just so i could live and relatively normal adult life in the 90s and 00s.
i wanna go back to an analogic world.
R: 2 / I: 0
Why am I such a worthless pos
Will probably delete this but had a terrible week (not that I'm not used to it by now) but I was asked to take care of a cat for someone down the street and the first week everything went fine. I fed it emptied the litter box but one night I accidentally left the garage door it used to get in and out too high and noticed something else got in. Since then I haven't seen the cat but last night (almost 2 weeks after) I found the poor things body underneath where he sleeps. I had only gone over twice in about a week and a half due to a cop giving me a speeding ticket for going 7 over the speed limit and my boss at work saying I had to meet for disciplinary action but refusing to say why other than my "behavior". I feel so bad that I killed someones pet and don't know what to do. I had also just planned my first vacation ever after over a decade of wage slaving but I can't take it now because I would be staying with the persons pet I killed for 2 weeks. I was honestly having a hard time not wanting to kill myself as it is and now I just don't know what to do. Cats have been one of the few things that have ever been nice to me and I killed one being irresponsible and preoccupied with my own problems, I feel so bad having killed someones pet kitty.