I need to ventI'm almost 24 but can only like succubi 8 to 13 . I correctly see this as a problem and I thus asked for help:my doctor will give me bupropion
Depression Crawl Thread XXPost here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
Suicide GeneralThe last suicide general has hit the bump limit.
Anhedonia. What has been your experience with it?Another shitty anhedonic riddled day to get through. Great. One of my most sincere wishes, and perhaps, hilariously enough, I'm alone in feeling this way even on Wizchan, but I really fucking wish I could just enjoy getting lost in modern entertainment again, specifically video games.
suicide mission mentalityHas anyone started planning or actually did,any activity,hobby,or plan which requires loss of the fear of death,or stopping care about long-term ?
The End of the WizardsThis is kind of a follow up to the previous thread "The end of the wizards?", I thought about making a direct continuation but there's not much left to be said is there? (Plus teen LARP'ers plague these type of threads).
I hate Eeryone and wish i was deadDo you feel the same? I want to kill myself everyday, but because I don't have the means to do so in a relatively painless peaceful way, i'm stuck in this nightmare for the long run I guess.
How do you enjoy something?I was riding in the train the other day and there was a very nice view of the city. I thought about how fortunate I am to experience this but then I wondered how exactly can I appreciate it. I tried to sense this feeling of contentment but I couldn't quite locate it. It makes me wonder if pleasure is something we chase for itself or if it's just an instinct. Or maybe I have Anhedonia? For me pleasure feels more like not-suffering. Like the pleasure of eating is not being hungry or craving anymore or the pleasure of entertainment is not being bored. I feel like because of this I can't motivate myself to do anything with delayed gratification since there isn't really a feeling of pleasure to look forward to and the avoidance of suffering is more short term.
InsanityDo you ever wonder if spending a significant amount of time alone is driving you slowly insane? Like finding it harder to separate daydreaming from reality, not being aware of things happening around you, changing the ways in which you react to situations and external stimuli etc?
Parental ResentmentEven though I'm almost 30, I can't let go of the resentment toward my mom. I tried to read many online posts on forgiveness, but it's difficult. My mom was old and poor (40+, welfare) when she had me with a 40+ year old, short (5'1"), ugly (100% Jew), poor (homeless living in a tent), sociopath (killed small animals for fun, abusive etc). Not only was I screwed genetically, but I grew up poor and isolated in a dysfunctional "home" in the countryside (Would have been nice if not for my mom). My mom became a single mom due to her terrible choice in partner. I wasn't fed proper meals or even taught to brush my hair. I became isolated from peers from a young age. There was no public transportation, I relied on my mom. There was no extended family (they are also crazy though), nobody. I became isolated from my peers early on because I couldn't even discuss tv shows (we didn't have tv) and had holes in my clothing.
Fellow Wizards, you are my last hope, somebody please be out thereFirst of all my stats:
Difference between schizoid and BPDHow can you tell whether you're a schizoid or BPD? I go to this state sponsored psychiatrist and he has to write down all my diagnosis in a sheet to feed nationwide statistics, even if I don't ask for a diagnosis. I saw him writing down BPD once.
Beauty, Vanity and unreachable Beauty StandardsUgly anons, tell me about the impossible beauty standards you wish you could fulfill, how you wish you could look like and why, what you would do with your life if you managed to look like your ideal selves.
Neets/Hikikimoris are lucky, whether you admit or notPeople that are neets/hikis and live with others with no backlash for their lifestyle are really in a comfortable spot. Compare that to me who is living with my parents I'm always scared of leaving my room due to the fear that i'm just gonna get scolded for my "laziness", parents have been on my back for college while I just want a wagie job that pays minimum and live in an apartment, all I need is a bed, some food and internet, my happiness is not fulfilled by consumerism or needless thing because it never makes me happy. I wish that I could be as comfortable to just not have so much pressure on my back, it's so hard living with someone that barely understand you. Anyone with similar experiences? I feel like living a low life is what I deserve, I don't feel grateful for what I have, I feel as this is some deserving punishment, who else owns their own apartment/house, what is it like?
Real life conversationTo have a ,,normal" conversation in real life you have to think quickly and reply in quickly way.
body languageI think my body language makes sometimes fake signs.
Battling your own mindDoes anyone else have a defeatist self-pitying attitude?
How I Finally Became ContentMight not work for all, but thought I'd share in case it can help even one wizzie out. After years of suffering from depression, I finally went on antidepressants. Although they helped with no longer feeling suicidal, the feeling of discontent deep down within me remained. When I watched tv, movies, or anime I'd compare myself to the main characters. In real life I'd compare myself to the geniuses, wealthy, and gifted. A story about a 13 year-old who got rich after programming a game (example) would drive me to resent my upbringing and what I could have been.
what's your wizard insight on this?Serious post, don't delete. Am I wrong for thinking this way? I need the input of other wizards.
Huge mistake at workHi guys. I fucked up at work. I had a good idea how to make good service for our customers and I told some colleagues. It seemed they really liked it, and now I am called to explain (defend) my idea in a huge meeting with higher management. I know I can't do this. I am too nervous and anxious. I am thinking of quitting my job. What do I do? Help me please!
Depression Crawl Thread XIXPost here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
Health AnxietyIs anyone else suffering from it? Any time I read about someone getting ill from doing something mundane I start reading about diseases and worrying. Even if the experts say that the illness is rare it stays on my mind for a long time. Also any time I experience some pain or strange sensations I assume the worst.
My grandma is dyingShe's the one who raised me. Obviously I've thought about suicide before but now that this nightmare is happening I feel like there's not a single reason to keep breathing after she dies. Hasn't even happened yet but this dread I feel is enough to make life intolerable, can't even think about anything else or have any hopes for the future. Can barely even talk to her without crying.
End of internet as we know itSince the internet is as it was, a place for mistifts is in the great process of dying.. where have the actual misfits gone now?
Successful and failed organismsHave you ever considered by what process we become what we are, that is to say, failed organisms? A successful organism from a purely biological perspective, is one which reproduces itself many times. That's not to say there's any real value in that, there isn't; but there is evolutionary utility. How does a 90 iq street thug produce many offspring between prison incarcerations, and a 120 iq wizard produces none with all of his free time. Whether by choice or by chance, by mistake or fortune, it is interesting to think about.
Just about ready to dieAt the ripe age of 20 I feel that I am soon ready to entirely and completely give up on life. I've suffered from BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) my entire life due to losing my father when I was younger and being abused by my mom + her boyfriend and grandparents when I was young as well as a few near death experiences and a lifetime of bullying. I've only recently gotten a diagnosis for it and its all starting to make sense. I was doomed from the start. I turn 21 this December, its going to be my judgement day. I've become recently extremely hostile to just about anyone who isn't my mom as she is the only one who takes care of me now. I still don't really like her even though she has seemingly turned things around. I hate everyone, how most people can live these easy and nice lives by stepping on the people around them. I've never willingly thrown someone completely under the buss like I have been many many times. These people will never know consequences, they will never know suffering. They will only know what its like to treat a loser like a loser. And what happens when these very people become losers themselves? They get help. Because people will help them, even though they may be shit bags. Even though they have stepped on people they deserve help somehow. Because they can change. I can never change. I will never change. I need to die to end my suffering. And that I will do. Silently. No one will know when or where I die. I will go into the woods to die so nature can consume my miserable remains.
The end of the wizards?Posted it in another thread but I feel it deserves it's own thread because of the subject matter.
LonelinessDo you know what true loneliness is, anon? Somehow i dont think you do. Because even here i am not accepted, which would have been something.
Locked in lifeFor the last few years I want to move out of my parent's house.
Bullying.In primary school I was bullied by 50% of the students in my class.
Depression Crawl Thread XVIIIPost here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
Addiction generalAre you addicted to something?
Lots of Cops Appear to be Offing Themselves NowThere are two explanations for this – someone is offing these cops, or these cops are, in actual fact, offing themselves.
Never improving despite wanting toI kept wondering how come I have these frequent moments where I feel like I woke up from a slumber and wonder how I could have let myself go so badly. Then I get the motivation to improve myself but soon I go back to my routine until the next "wake up" moment in a few months. How come all this time in all these years I didn't manage to improve my life even a bit? It has been like 9 years by now. More than enough time to improve yourself. It's quite shocking.
Why is survival considered to be inspiring?Sometimes, I'll hear a normie use the following argument:
complaining/shouting parentsMy mom is constantly complaining under her breath about the mess of the house, yet most of it is made either by dogs she unilaterally decided to bring here, or her live-in boyfriend who she unilaterally decided to move in. Sometimes it comes to the point of shouting and it is very difficult to empathize as I know I would not have made these choices, and if I regretted their outcomes so much, would have gone back on them.
Stranded on EarthDo you feel like you simply are not meant to be here on Earth?
Average Length of Depressive Episdoeshttps://articles.mercola.com/depression/duration.aspx
Movie - The secretI remember years ago, when I was 16 years old. I had hard time in school. I felt bad, generally.
no point in postinganybody else fail to see the point in posting anything anymore?
Obesity life expectancyHello Wizards,
Discontinue AntidepressantsSo one week ago I have stopped taking Cipralex after taking it for about 5-6 months. The doctor recommended to taper off so it was already the lowest dose available (5 mg) yet it felt rather abrupt. In the past I went through Kratom withdrawals so I thought I was prepared for any negative side effects. Well the withdrawals itself were almost non-existent. The only thing that really stuck out were something that people call 'brain zaps'. Also for a few days I felt very restless and emotionally unstable but nothing too bad. I even managed to be more productive in some sense than before.
driving anxietyAnyone else having driving anxiety? Do you deal with it somehow? Any success stories? Any accidents? Scared of parking or of normie drivers judging you and telling you off?
Getting off SSRIs and psychiatric medication in generalWhat has your experience been tapering off anti depressants?
AnxietyJust a month ago I started getting anxiety attack where I keep feeling like I’m dying constantly but I never do. I don’t know why Mother Nature had to make a condition like this. I saw a doctor and got checked up and he said I’m fine but I haven’t seen a psychologist yet and I don’t know if I really want medication. It feels like it’s been a long time since I could just lie down and relax and I really wish I could go back to the days when I could just relax and not feel like I’m suffocating.
memory anchor /?/whenever I think about something I always imagine myself in therapy talking to people, doesnt matter theme I always go to that place in my daydreams and it makes me desperate that I cant let go and I only think about it
Normal resilienceDoes anyone else feel out of place with how resilient other people are? The lives of people in the majority of the past have been terrible. Hard work, shitty food, no modern medicine, few to no comforts. Common jobs like sailor sounded terrible with how they had to live on a small ship, eat crappy food and many died from scurvy which is a horrible painful disease. Watching war movies always blows my mind as well how so many people endured these hardships. I can't even imagine. And even now people in third world countries live in conditions similar to the past and many people in first world countries work exhausting jobs for just enough pay to subsist. I've read about people going to work with painful illnesses because they couldn't afford a doctor.
All paths are dead endsIt doesn't matter if I get a job or try to do freelancing, or game the welfare system. Why? Everything worth doing has a learning curve. Even as a NEET I can't do the hobbies I want because all of the fulfilling ones require a learning curve. An invisible wall I can't push past the discomfort. I learn whatever for a few months of fun then the moment things get hard I am just unable to continue.
Anxiety - getting birthday phone calls from relatives while being a NEET wizardEvery year I get worried for a whole month before my birthday because of this shit. I fucking hate these calls. I've turned off my phone a few times in previous years but I didn't really like doing it and they just ended up talking behind my back about how weird I am for doing that.
I ruined my faceI don't have much to confide in. Im skinny fat, borderlining manlet, awkward, poor and dont have much special talents or hobbies. but 1 thing that always cheered me up was my face. i wasnt chad or anything, but definitely like pretty boy or something along those lines
Incompatible with livingAnyone else here feel alright about being alive but then when it comes to the intricacies you would rather be dead?
RegretWhy is regret such a powerful negative emotion?