Unable to communicateI don't really have much to say. That's somewhat the problem. I'd rather not say anything, but the feeling of wanting to vent so as to relieve the pressure of my thoughts/emotions is still there, despite the fact that I can't find anything to say about them.
Unjustified depression becomes justified?People talk about depression as if it was a cleary defined illness like a cold. But people experience it differently and the causes for it are unclear. A frequent advice is to try Psychotherapy. And from what I've seen psychotherapy assumes that your depression is mostly caused by bad thought patterns and habits.
Suicide GeneralThe last suicide general has hit the bump limit.
UK Engand meetup for suicide?I'm looking for others who will like to end their life. I would have liked a painless drug induced death however i'm too dumb for the dark web and don't know where to get Any strong opiods in real life. However, I'm going to start starving myself. Ensuring that if i don't recieve the death i would much prefer. I will be dead in 2 months. Uk anons. We could work together since Many brains is better than one. Please reply if your interested. I want to get this over with.
CO Poisingin relation to the fellow anon who heroed using this method to produce Carbon monoxide. Here is the archive: https://archive.li/tT1Qs#selection-1271.18-1271.29
Wizardry and personality disordersI am curious,from a research point of view, it seems more wizards either have Borderline or Schizoid Personality disorder.
depressing imagesPost nothing but depressing pictures. You can add depressing text, personal anecdotes, et cetera to your post, but each one must contain a depressing image. preferably grayscale and "artsy" but any "blackpill" pictures suffice. I am in the mood to expand my collection.
Imaginary friend threadHey. I posted this thread on lounge, but I think this board would be a better place to discuss it. I have had an imaginary friend now for about 5 years. I created her when I was in a dark place, and since then she has helped me get my life together and improve myself tremendously. I am quite honestly sure she saved my life.
Things to watch while depressedWhat do you guys watch when you're absolutely fucked, stuck in bed, but still bored as hell and need shit to consume? Most anime, movies, any form of media just makes me feel more like shit since it's all fantasy worlds that I will never be able to live in, or it's nonfictional about people with better lives than me. I can't watch anime without wishing I lived in it's world. If you guys have any good things to watch while depressed, go ahead and post. I'll leave the few I like below, so you get a better idea of what I'm asking for.
Fucking hate my momI hate my mom, i never stood a chance because of her, she's mentally ill and emasculated and feminized me, ive suffered so much because of her. i fuckin hate my sister and my mother. anything I've done she shuns me,
Eternal oblivion after deathI despise life to an upmost extreme and I want to know that the certainty of eternal void after death is a sure thing ?
Sharing wizard knowledgeI've acquired wizard knowledge through the years, I want to share it for wizards that still suffer, it might help you. Feel free to rebute what I say.
Mental health threadThread to discuss mental health issues.
How do you copeI have to re-learn how to manage mentall ilness without using alcohol or drugs everyday.
screaming into voidI am a year from wizhood, but my brain has been deteriorating for the past couple of years. I was told by a professor that the cogitative capacity of the brain peaks around 25 years of age. I guess clarity until 28 was a blessing. The ability to articulate a coherent idea in any language is all but gone for me. I marvel at your longposts. The ability to dive into a topic at length and with great nuance and beauty is like a superpower from my point of view. Far out of reach now. Various streams of destructive thought have developed and lingered in my mind, beginning as verbal statements and evolving into emotions. Now they have coagulated into something like a constant wail in the deep folds of my mind, one that words can hardly describe. One that drowns out rationality, a feeling that generates melancholy like a factory. An apocalyptic doom pervades my psyche. Regret on regret in the great wail, brick on brick in a great wall. Something that cannot be dealt with rationally: the true cause of terror. Slowly I become paralyzed, and looking at this world I can't even weep, because I can no longer feel enough as the wail burns out my capacity to.
Living with disgusting peopleWould you like to share some disgusting things people you live with do? I live with my mother and father, here's some things that really disgust me
the truthI hate I can't forgive my parents. I still remember how more than half of my life has been physical, psychological abuse, humilliation, denigration thanks to them.
Inventory is emptyReading the end of the wizards thread I wondered:
MediocrityHas anyone here experienced the pain of being completely untalented? I dream of being something, of being a genius, but I'm a fucking nobody. In my post, I'll not even write about any success. I'm ready to be an ugly, pimply, fat guy with no social life, but an amazing brain. My mother is a stupid optimistic cunt who adores children. Typical succubus. Disgustingly. I didn't inherit anything good from her. My father is not very bright either. He's running a decaying business that's about to fall apart. The businessman from it is extremely shitty. A talented person was my reserved grandfather, who was interested in space and was so autistic that he made crosswords for scientific newspapers. I'm proud of him. He read a lot of science fiction, including the Strugatsky brothers. Worked as an engineer. I would like to be very similar to him, but I am a loser who got terrible grades in school and did not understand a damn thing about physics and mathematics, which I find interesting but incomprehensible to me, and this is very unpleasant for me. Most people are comfortable with the fact that they are just stupid meat, protoplasm, and brainless consumers. I want to reach unwritten heights, to be a gloomy mysterious scientist. I'm most attracted to high technology and what's happening in Silicon Valley. I am a big fan of the USA and I dream of moving there (this dream will never come true). Nothing happens in the country I live in. Despondency, devastation and corruption. If I had talent and a high IQ, I would have escaped from this hell long ago. Even when I try to watch interviews with Elon Musk or other prominent people, I don't understand a damn thing, because I'm stupid. I always find it difficult to go deep enough into something, because I don't have enough patience and perseverance, I immediately start getting angry and desperate. Hell, I hate what's in my skull. There's nothing there, just a vacuum! Funnier than ever. For some reason, something gives me confidence that there are talented people here. Maybe someone is engaged in music, art, programming? Tell us about your life. Are you happy with it? Being a wizard doesn't mean being untalanted. This means that you are over 30 and that you are a virgin. That's all. Why was I unlucky? I hate this fucking world.
CancerI have a skin disease called Vitiligo, I have white spots around 30% of my body at 25. I live in a very sunny and hot country and it's sunny all day long. The sun burns me easily.
bad neighboursmy neighbour suddenly started listening to music every day from 1am-3am, this happened the past 5 days already
Go back to drinking and using or notI am a level 25 apprentice wizard.
How do I deal with being inferior?I feel like there are very few people who consider themselves inferior untermenschen. Even the people who bitch about how oppressed they are. They don't think they are innately inferior, they think just society and various forces unjustly treat them as inferior, when they are not. Even crabs seem to think they are superior in many ways, and its just females primitive attraction to archaic features that holds them down.
what's your wizard insight on this?Serious post, don't delete. Am I wrong for thinking this way? I need the input of other wizards.
I am in Hell.I know that what is ahead of me is worse than where I am right now. But there is no way of stopping myself from going there. I have created Hell around me, for myself alone. There is no escaping it. And I fear that, in death, I will be forced to confront how pathetic and deserving of Hell I truly am.
Wizard volatilityI am not datamining, I am just a wizard interested in clinical psychology, given that I've soent time in a psych ward before. Would you kindly answer these questions?
Has anybody else unintentionally trained their own brains to tortuously gaslight itself?I can't even hang a few posters without hyperventilating & losing my mind like the high strung freak that I currently am and have always been. Even something as simple & trivial as that, leaves me absolutely demolished with stress. Even the smallest difficulties get amplified to ridiculous levels from my skewed & half-demented perspective. For instance, two of the posters I was just able to hang on pre-existing nails, easy as you please, but the third one needed a new nail of its own hammered in, so as to not have it appear as completely crooked. Simply hammering a nail had me sweating proverbial bullets. "What if I do it wrong? What if I put it in the wrong place and then need to remove it and take it out again? What if the banging causes everything to fall down?", and on and on in my head to the point of a migraine. Fortunately, I got the nail in & was able to hang the poster without much fuss, but the toll on my psyche, insofar as stressing over all the possible ways it could go wrong, was quite intense all the same. That wasn't the end of it though, since the fourth, and last, poster I had to hang, I somehow managed to slide in upside down in regards to its frame, which then required me to take apart said frame, in order to sort it the right way. Throughout all the this I'm swearing to myself, berating myself and practically losing my entire composure over what to most would be considered only a minor inconvenience.
Suicide GeneralThe last suicide general has hit the bump limit.
Can anyone relate?Do you ever see people do something, be it in real life, television, a documentary, youtube,you name it, and then you have that very strange feeling that you want to appreciate what the person is doing because you are not better yourself but you cannot stop yourself from thinking that this certain behaviour displays all what is wrong with life and generally shows the retardedness of our existence?
My thoughtsI' am a level 25 wizard. Obviously spending these holidays alone.
Stupid peopleNow I want to talk about really stupid people we know/live with. First of all I want to make it clear I know a lot of us consider ourselves dumb, and can't pick up studying or learning a hobby or any of that. That's not what I mean. I am talking about people who are normies, who do REALLY fucking dumb things.
I'm so emptyI don't have any knowledge about anything; I barely know how to tie my shoes. I still have no idea how I managed to finish high school, everybody there hated me for no reason and my grades were pretty mediocre. If I remember right I think I repeated 3 or 4 years. I know nothing of culture, politics, literature, movies, music, basically everything. I'm still trapped in my child stage of life and I haven't grown out of it. All I've done so far in my life is play old video games and randomly browse the internet. I never felt and put any effort into anything requiring responsibility, and I still have an apathetic and lazy attitude towards everything.
Anhedonia. What has been your experience with it?Another shitty anhedonic riddled day to get through. Great. One of my most sincere wishes, and perhaps, hilariously enough, I'm alone in feeling this way even on Wizchan, but I really fucking wish I could just enjoy getting lost in modern entertainment again, specifically video games.
The end of the wizards?Posted it in another thread but I feel it deserves it's own thread because of the subject matter.
28 y'old neet, soon to be wizardImma mostly luker; to be honest i only make thread on my some birthdays for sharing some feeling. why? idk.
Anxiety over losing my sanityI finally came back to wizchan after going on an image board detox because I'd
Text that will be ignoredThis time of the year is tough for me.
DisgustYou know what's fucked up in this life? Enduring constant physical and psychological abuse from parents. You're an always crying or very reserved wizkid. Other adults see and approve/ignore the abuse. No one says a thing. They get to you in a condescending tone. They still expect normie behaviour from you. You discover relief in alcohol and drug use. Violence and terror lives in your wizkid life. Life goes on. Stopped being hit at 15. "You're suppossed to act normal young fella, be a man about it".
Suicide prevention lifeline is fucking worthlessDo not call them. They will either not answer your phone call, hang up on you or have you committed if you tell them too much. Fuck counselors. They are worthless backstabbers. I was committed involuntarily four times. That means that my 2A is gone and even if I buy a ghost gunner if I’m caught with it I could face serious life in prison. That’s what you get when you speak to counselors. Your rights taken away. They haven’t helped me because I’m stuck in the same situation as before.
Effective AltruismSuicide will not end your suffering. You will reincarnate as a celestial 'brain', including instances of astronomical and unfathomable suffering beyond mortal comprehension, unless you work to dismantle misery from all existence, by supporting the Foundational Research Institute, which is tackling this problem.
How to deal with the fear of things getting worseI'm often afraid things will get bad, that my mental state will take a turn for the worse, and that the already significant difficulty I have getting through the day will get insurmountable. The idea of looking a year, two, three years into the future and planning out a cozy, hermitic life of introspection for myself seems absurd - how am I supposed to believe I won't get harder to live when this has been my experience (when I was in my 20s I used to wake up with a gusto to live out the day, now in my 30s I almost wish I could sleep life away) so far? I took SSRIs for a year until I recently got off them, and while for now I seem able to not suffer from clinical depression like I previously did, I'm constantly afraid it will return. How am I supposed to live life like this, when it seems to get harder (not to mention the physical and mental decay as you age) even though it was already too difficult to begin with. Seems like realistically planning out a withdrawn wiz life is a pipe dream with the amount of things that can go wrong, with your peace of mind teetering in a precarious balance over the void of intolerable, possibly protracted low mental states.
How often do you actually feel sadness/melancholy?I have come to realize I may have a bit of break contrasted to most wizards - I almost never feel sad. Haven't for years. It still get existential dread, boredom, all the mainstays of wiz life, but I no longer actually feel melancholy, nor that bitterness, that almost acidic feeling of deflating sadness in the body.
Apartment lifeAnyone else living in an apartment and hating it?
Courage and determine to end itAnyone have scientific data on how to stay determined and gather courage to suicide? I am going by jumping. Since I was demotivated , I stopped fapping recently to gather physical and mental energy to suicide.Is writing a suicide note and setting a date good for gathering courage and not pussy out ?
I cant understand other people who have depression and talk about it publiclyI understand depression in private but when people make it out publically especially on videos and streams I can't help but cringe. Like why would you bring your whole viewership to this? Does depression make people selfish? Especially big YouTubers and the such cause I can't help but cringe when I listen to them talk about their depression. Anybody else?
Circumcision and Rageso how did you cut wizzies react when you found out about circumcision and its effects on the human body. I personally was sent into a rage than dread for some time realizing what had been done to me and how I couldnt of done anything because it was done to me like many as a newborn. Later I did find out about foreskin restoration but I am too poor for any of that. Even though for the most part the foreskin can be replaced or healed, it is impossible to replace the frenulum and other parts. Plus the mental trauma on babies caused by circumcision on babies is significant.
I need to ventI'm almost 24 but can only like succubi 8 to 13 . I correctly see this as a problem and I thus asked for help:my doctor will give me bupropion
Wizard thoughtsI am feeling an intense feeling of depression and being dead right now. Things had gotten stable for a few months, I've just realized it's been two months since I started spiraling back to my recurrent state. Level 25.
HiJust wanted to say hi to fellow wizards. I always think and care about other wizards out there despite not knowing anyone.
Lost and depressedI haven't been here for months now. Quite a while, since I saw this site being demolished by various forms of the normie critters and mods just allowing this all to happen and censuring those who resist. I was like "fuck it, what's the point?"
Wizard Drinking SessionI am throwing a wizard drinking session in this thread. Just post whatever is in your head and drink.
I hate Eeryone and wish i was deadDo you feel the same? I want to kill myself everyday, but because I don't have the means to do so in a relatively painless peaceful way, i'm stuck in this nightmare for the long run I guess.
Bullying.In primary school I was bullied by 50% of the students in my class.
Learn to be uncomfortable?This might sound silly but really is fun something worth pursuing just for itself? Whenever I am faced with an uncomfortable day I keep thinking back on all the fun I had in the past but what was the point of that when I am faced with the inevitable discomfort? How can I enjoy the fun knowing that eventually I will be uncomfortable again? Having fun is basically like a fast forward to discomfort since the fun times go by so fast. The desire for having fun is innate in me so it feels intuitive to pursue it but I wonder if, especially as I am getting older and my health gets worse, it would make more sense to try to focus on learning how to endure and face discomfort. Is that even something you can learn realistically?
Locked in lifeFor the last few years I want to move out of my parent's house.