R: 12 / I: 5
I am 24 years old, little to not school education, no job, whenever I am with some relatives or in some family gathering I can sense how much they look down at me for being a massive loser, even if they almost never express it directly at all, since I was a child I would always be asked by them questions like "how are you doing in school?" or "are you getting any good grades" Of course they no longer ask me such question, But I still feel a lot of shame when I am around them, I try to avoid sitting with them like the plague
Being a massive loser amongst family members
Does any of you get irritated with family gatherings or when guests come to visit you in your family's house?I am 24 years old, little to not school education, no job, whenever I am with some relatives or in some family gathering I can sense how much they look down at me for being a massive loser, even if they almost never express it directly at all, since I was a child I would always be asked by them questions like "how are you doing in school?" or "are you getting any good grades" Of course they no longer ask me such question, But I still feel a lot of shame when I am around them, I try to avoid sitting with them like the plague
R: 36 / I: 1
why is he torturing us?
why does he give great amount of suffering and horror to poor believers while giving happiness and wealth to evil disbelieving people?
why is he so careless?
sage
what does he want from us?why is he torturing us?
why does he give great amount of suffering and horror to poor believers while giving happiness and wealth to evil disbelieving people?
why is he so careless?
R: 4 / I: 0
previous >>289727
Wageslave General
2025 will be the layoff year edition. How we holding up?previous >>289727
R: 18 / I: 2
Emptiest resume ever
I think it's genuinely just plain over if you don't have education, skills or job experience at the age of 25. It feels like I should just play videogames until anhedonia reaches critical condition and then to just off myself. I lost to job market. I lost to capitalism. My ego and my weakness won't allow me to live as burger king worker. Not to mention i'd be a useless worthless asset in any job anyway. Fuck
R: 266 / I: 42
Previous: >>291261
Depression Crawl Thread LXVI
Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.Previous: >>291261
R: 84 / I: 15
How old are you? What brought you to where you are? What prevents you from changing?
How old are you? What brought you to where you are? What prevents you from changing?
R: 234 / I: 39
Watching Geekdom get absorbed into the monoculture over the last decade (and then some) has been a pretty demoralising experience.
Part of the process of commodification, streamlining and assimilation of geek culture into the all-consuming monoculture, is distortion and erasure of the original.
"These would be the successive phases of the image:
1 It is the reflection of a basic reality.
2 It masks and perverts a basic reality.
3 It masks the absence of a basic reality.
4 It bears no relation to any reality whatever: it is its own pure simulacrum.
In the first case, the image is a good appearance: the representation is of the order of sacrament. In the second, it is an evil appearance: of the order of malefice. In the third, it plays at being an appearance: it is of the order of sorcery. In the fourth, it is no longer in the order of appearance at all, but of simulation."
I'm probably using Baudrillard wrong, but I think we're either between phase 2 and 3 or on phase 3. We're at the point where we have "gamers" who don't like videogames as the faces of videogames.
Death of the Uncool
Death of the Uncool - End of the Wizards VWatching Geekdom get absorbed into the monoculture over the last decade (and then some) has been a pretty demoralising experience.
Part of the process of commodification, streamlining and assimilation of geek culture into the all-consuming monoculture, is distortion and erasure of the original.
"These would be the successive phases of the image:
1 It is the reflection of a basic reality.
2 It masks and perverts a basic reality.
3 It masks the absence of a basic reality.
4 It bears no relation to any reality whatever: it is its own pure simulacrum.
In the first case, the image is a good appearance: the representation is of the order of sacrament. In the second, it is an evil appearance: of the order of malefice. In the third, it plays at being an appearance: it is of the order of sorcery. In the fourth, it is no longer in the order of appearance at all, but of simulation."
I'm probably using Baudrillard wrong, but I think we're either between phase 2 and 3 or on phase 3. We're at the point where we have "gamers" who don't like videogames as the faces of videogames.
R: 14 / I: 0
Being Neurodivergent in a Neurotypical World
Being neurodivergent in this world is a fucking death sentence. This world does not and will never understand what it's like to think the way that we do and will keep themselves in constant willful ignorance from here to kingdom come. Forcing us to get worse into mental health issues until we go actually insane and do something drastic, but even then we'll still be demonized and everything because again…willful ignorance. I can't stand this planet.
R: 0 / I: 0
will it still come to me if i close myself off from the rest of the world wizards????
this diseased world
maybe all this is just a dream, a very long bad dream. this current era these people with no empathy for one another, this corrupt government and this polarization is just getting to me.will it still come to me if i close myself off from the rest of the world wizards????
R: 4 / I: 0
My father fell sick, due this he's now slowly loosing his sight due cataracts.
I begin to see grey spots in my vision recently, I thought it was because of my lack of sleep. But isn't getting better and sometimes I feel this mild headache like somebody is pressing his finger in my head.
I don't know what I'll do if I fell sick to..
I want to leave, die, and disappear but I can't while my dad is still alive.
Health
I'm a thirdworlder loser, I can barely make enough half decently eat monthly.My father fell sick, due this he's now slowly loosing his sight due cataracts.
I begin to see grey spots in my vision recently, I thought it was because of my lack of sleep. But isn't getting better and sometimes I feel this mild headache like somebody is pressing his finger in my head.
I don't know what I'll do if I fell sick to..
I want to leave, die, and disappear but I can't while my dad is still alive.
R: 5 / I: 3
I have read proper books tho: Will Durant, historiography of the Bible (Jesus Seminar, critical studies, archeological reports on codexes and papyri, parchments, etc) ,Mircea Eliade…Im not just a zoomer basing opinions off social media shit.
>I also consider Communism a "secular religion" hence some pics
Growing into firm atheism-shit mentally
It's shit for my mental health nothing there is no "cosmic caretaker" out there, also no rules\ethics or morals (So the evil go Unpunished, the good go Unrewarded) BUT, the stuff with massive social media\clickbait\ tiktok format youtube shorts, and specially AI images..Im realizing more and more how retarded it all is.I have read proper books tho: Will Durant, historiography of the Bible (Jesus Seminar, critical studies, archeological reports on codexes and papyri, parchments, etc) ,Mircea Eliade…Im not just a zoomer basing opinions off social media shit.
>I also consider Communism a "secular religion" hence some pics
R: 82 / I: 9
The fact that I can't have a girlfriend destroys me.
I would like to be with a being with whom I can share everyday moments, to have a being to worry about, in which I can capture the most beautiful part of my being, to whom I can show my vulnerable parts, express my deepest emotions, and show them really who I am. But who am I really? Even in an anonymous forum, I would say he is a great guy, who went through some things, but who despite everything never gave up, someone who always wants the best for others, and who has an optimistic vision even in the most difficult moments. hard And although in a certain way the above is not a lie, the reality is that there is an uncivilized being inside me, someone so disgusting and unpleasant that I don't even like to admit that we are the same person, and hypocritically, whether consciously or unconsciously. , I pretend it doesn't exist. But this is an undeniable reality, and although it is something that can be hidden, it is something that I would never share with anyone, much less voluntarily. I prefer to be a hermit secluded from all social contact rather than show this part of my being. I'm not going to lie to you, life alone is not the best thing in the world, and it has some associated problems, but it is not something completely bad either, and it helps to value things, self-esteem, one's own thoughts, and leave aside vain issues. like social norms, or what someone outside of us may or may not think of us. R: 30 / I: 0
It's very hard to be online, my self-esteem and self-confidence has been wrecked primarily because of internet. I will admit as a kid, I really wanted to see the west, playing video games like NFS, GTA, and, watching Hollywood movies late in the night, were some of the fondest memories of mine as a child.
But as an adult I think immigrating would be a very bad idea, because I would probably be homeless in a few days because I don't know how the system works. Forget about all that, I am too poor to immigrate. So that is out of the question.
A lot of times, I just want to use internet in peace and make friends with people over online websites. But as soon as they find out I am Indian they start hurling abuses. It's terrible.
Honestly a lot of it has destroyed my self-esteem and self-confidence and I don't know how to regain it even when knowing that for the most of my life I am rarely ever going to encounter a white person.
And then there is the whole blackpill thing as well, because we Indians aren't attractive (speaking for myself mostly but still) most of Indian succubi in the West tend to date white just like East Asian succubi. So that's like another insult to injury to be honest.
Overall it kinda sucked to realise that I am so hated and life in the West if I could immigrate that is, would probably suck for me greatly. Like all the parties and fun that I saw in Hollywood movies are only reserved for succubi and few attractive men. In real life in the West I would be bullied mercilessly.
On the other hand, something good has come out of it as well, which is, I have stopped resenting India a bit because I have realised that at least I don't face racism here in real life and won't be bullied here too much. In the end, I guess it is for the best that I couldn't immigrate I imagine.
Anyways, now that I have learned English Any suggestions on how to not feel bad about myself while being exposed to extreme and never ending racism online? It really has given a hit to my self-esteem.
Being an Indian is a death sentence.
It seems like learning English was one of the worst mistakes of my life, I am someone who live in India and doesn't plan to leave the country. Any idea how I can cope with racism online?It's very hard to be online, my self-esteem and self-confidence has been wrecked primarily because of internet. I will admit as a kid, I really wanted to see the west, playing video games like NFS, GTA, and, watching Hollywood movies late in the night, were some of the fondest memories of mine as a child.
But as an adult I think immigrating would be a very bad idea, because I would probably be homeless in a few days because I don't know how the system works. Forget about all that, I am too poor to immigrate. So that is out of the question.
A lot of times, I just want to use internet in peace and make friends with people over online websites. But as soon as they find out I am Indian they start hurling abuses. It's terrible.
Honestly a lot of it has destroyed my self-esteem and self-confidence and I don't know how to regain it even when knowing that for the most of my life I am rarely ever going to encounter a white person.
And then there is the whole blackpill thing as well, because we Indians aren't attractive (speaking for myself mostly but still) most of Indian succubi in the West tend to date white just like East Asian succubi. So that's like another insult to injury to be honest.
Overall it kinda sucked to realise that I am so hated and life in the West if I could immigrate that is, would probably suck for me greatly. Like all the parties and fun that I saw in Hollywood movies are only reserved for succubi and few attractive men. In real life in the West I would be bullied mercilessly.
On the other hand, something good has come out of it as well, which is, I have stopped resenting India a bit because I have realised that at least I don't face racism here in real life and won't be bullied here too much. In the end, I guess it is for the best that I couldn't immigrate I imagine.
Anyways, now that I have learned English Any suggestions on how to not feel bad about myself while being exposed to extreme and never ending racism online? It really has given a hit to my self-esteem.
R: 4 / I: 1
i have strange urges when i watch lights flicker on the screen. they do it so smoothly and nicely. i feel like i want to flicker with them but i can't. what the fuck, jesus christ
i have strange urges when i watch lights flicker on the screen. they do it so smoothly and nicely. i feel like i want to flicker with them but i can't. what the fuck, jesus christ
R: 10 / I: 2
I think one possible solution is to move back in with my parents. Being alone all the time is not good for me. But obviously after what happened there's no way they're going to let me, they probably don't feel safe and for good reason. Lmao. That was my only hope. I don't know what's going to happen to me.
And no, I'm not a drug addict, alcoholic or any of that stuff.
Dementia
I unironically think I'm starting to develop some kind of dementia. I'm 35 almost 36. More and more often I find myself spacing out and completely forgetting what I'm doing. I can't focus. I know it's not depression. I was very depressed 10 years ago and nearly killed myself, and I'm a lot happier now than back then, I haven't even thought about suicide in years, so that's not it. I'm not even as stressed as I used to be anymore. I don't even have a lot of negative thoughts. I get confused easily when talking to people and end up doing or saying inappropriate things unintentionally. For example I start dissociating while talking to people and start humming a song, put my hand on their shoulders, other stuff like that. This is going to sound like a massive troll but just the other day I visited my parents, I sat down at the dinner table, I started dissociating, my mom put her hand on my shoulder to get my attention, I couldn't snap out of it fast enough and nearly kissed her. She was horrified and turned away and didn't say anything the rest of the night.I think one possible solution is to move back in with my parents. Being alone all the time is not good for me. But obviously after what happened there's no way they're going to let me, they probably don't feel safe and for good reason. Lmao. That was my only hope. I don't know what's going to happen to me.
And no, I'm not a drug addict, alcoholic or any of that stuff.
R: 17 / I: 0
I'm currently 26, almost 27 (rings a bell?). And I can't take it anymore. I will soon depart from life through hanging. I haven't done it yet because I live in a shithole and there are always people around making noise and being nosy. I will just wait till it's very quiet so I can go to the woods and end this miserable existence.
I don't care if it might "get better". Existence itself is a curse and we're all gonna die anyway. I've read enough pessimist books and life affirming books and I side with the former. I don't need your compansion, because the thought that I will soon disappear is the only thing that makes me happy. I'm not even sad because of this.
Suicide general
This is the classic "suicide general", where we discuss methods and say farewell to our fellow wizards, quite different from that other thread in the catalog.I'm currently 26, almost 27 (rings a bell?). And I can't take it anymore. I will soon depart from life through hanging. I haven't done it yet because I live in a shithole and there are always people around making noise and being nosy. I will just wait till it's very quiet so I can go to the woods and end this miserable existence.
I don't care if it might "get better". Existence itself is a curse and we're all gonna die anyway. I've read enough pessimist books and life affirming books and I side with the former. I don't need your compansion, because the thought that I will soon disappear is the only thing that makes me happy. I'm not even sad because of this.
R: 4 / I: 1
I will tell you only the immediate reasons of my forced suicide:
1. Sick with infinite diseases and often in such pain that I want to stab myself or jump out the window. Can't eat walk make money or function for years due to this. Feel like I can die at any moment. I've been shitting black last few days which means internal bleeding.
2. I am broke and in infinite debt cause I chose to pursue treatment instead of paying taxes. I also lied to get money loaned to me because I needed it for drugs so I don't end up lobotomized. Its only a matter of time until they put me in prison.
3. I have a benzo addiction, if I don't take at least 10mg Xanax daily and skip one day I will have a grand mal seizure which will kill me or leave me with brain damage.
4. Stuck forever without a room or meter of space my whole life due to mentally retarded family.
…etc I probably forgot half but by now you should know the drill. Life took almost everything from me and I didn't do anything for a long time so I wouldn't call this living anyway. Only thing I have left is freedom of choice to die now or lose it and suffer a thousand times more and die later. I will die at age of 28 in 2024 via train guillotine or fail and become a vegetable. I have only one try and time is not on my side.
Personal suicide diary - final notes. 2 weeks to die 28 reasons
Last time I mentioned that I have 2 weeks to kms someone asked if I have a test or something in school. Let me tell you something interesting. I won't talk about my life story but I will enlighten you how bad life can get and what real suicide out of necessity means.I will tell you only the immediate reasons of my forced suicide:
1. Sick with infinite diseases and often in such pain that I want to stab myself or jump out the window. Can't eat walk make money or function for years due to this. Feel like I can die at any moment. I've been shitting black last few days which means internal bleeding.
2. I am broke and in infinite debt cause I chose to pursue treatment instead of paying taxes. I also lied to get money loaned to me because I needed it for drugs so I don't end up lobotomized. Its only a matter of time until they put me in prison.
3. I have a benzo addiction, if I don't take at least 10mg Xanax daily and skip one day I will have a grand mal seizure which will kill me or leave me with brain damage.
4. Stuck forever without a room or meter of space my whole life due to mentally retarded family.
…etc I probably forgot half but by now you should know the drill. Life took almost everything from me and I didn't do anything for a long time so I wouldn't call this living anyway. Only thing I have left is freedom of choice to die now or lose it and suffer a thousand times more and die later. I will die at age of 28 in 2024 via train guillotine or fail and become a vegetable. I have only one try and time is not on my side.
R: 234 / I: 9
(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care.
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open the windows to your wiz-cave and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.
I've done my part. Anyone else?
Anti-Suicide General
The purpose of this thread is to counter the general tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads. This thread will therefore feature practical advice about reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care.
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open the windows to your wiz-cave and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.
I've done my part. Anyone else?
R: 45 / I: 1
Disadvantage if not social
This is probably not big news, but you have much worse chances of getting anything done in life if you are not social. From jobs, to housing, to money. If you are trying to do everything alone, you will not be as successful. Except you have a godlike family and upbringing. But I suppose nobody here had this. R: 61 / I: 3
Do you ever wonder how you got here…as in, how or why you "woke up" when you did, where you did, to the people (parents) that you did? It's impossible to make sense of. Just on one fucking terrible day, we took up consciousness, literally out of nowhere we are in bodies and tasked with learning the mechanics of entire material world. What caused us to be born when we were, to whom we were? I don't accept that it was random, or mere bare biology..I feel within myself that this life is a targeted punishment and that were I smarter I would have avoided being born entirely. What piece of shit god thinks he/it has the right to do this to us? We are born, thereafter we spend a few years simply making basic sense of things, go off to school, probably suffer a lot, continue to grow up, endure more sadness, and now through all of it we just continue to get older and weaker and sadder. This life is a crime against our souls and whatever caused us to come here HAS TO PAY. Really the only thing I fear is being forced to come back to this shitheap of a world to suffer again…and I do worry about this precisely because I don't know how I got here in the first place. I feel deeply sorry for all the new souls born to this world…there is just so much to learn, but even more there is just so much to suffer through…and I cannot understand what kind of god would force this sort of existence on tender helpless beings? The demiurge must be overcome.
Escaping the Demiurge PT 2
Serious question for any wizcels:Do you ever wonder how you got here…as in, how or why you "woke up" when you did, where you did, to the people (parents) that you did? It's impossible to make sense of. Just on one fucking terrible day, we took up consciousness, literally out of nowhere we are in bodies and tasked with learning the mechanics of entire material world. What caused us to be born when we were, to whom we were? I don't accept that it was random, or mere bare biology..I feel within myself that this life is a targeted punishment and that were I smarter I would have avoided being born entirely. What piece of shit god thinks he/it has the right to do this to us? We are born, thereafter we spend a few years simply making basic sense of things, go off to school, probably suffer a lot, continue to grow up, endure more sadness, and now through all of it we just continue to get older and weaker and sadder. This life is a crime against our souls and whatever caused us to come here HAS TO PAY. Really the only thing I fear is being forced to come back to this shitheap of a world to suffer again…and I do worry about this precisely because I don't know how I got here in the first place. I feel deeply sorry for all the new souls born to this world…there is just so much to learn, but even more there is just so much to suffer through…and I cannot understand what kind of god would force this sort of existence on tender helpless beings? The demiurge must be overcome.
R: 61 / I: 8
tl;dr i have countless diagnosed and undiagnosed physical illnesses which cause me agony daily and i feel like i'm dying every day, spent all my money on doctors and went into debt, cant make any more money, will eventually be homeless(can happen at any time), addicted to xanax that if i quit im gonna get seizures, i will never have a normal home(never had my own room) or family(mentally retarded?) not to mention my mental health problems etc.
Overall I guess I have around 10 major problems of which each is lethal and will kill me, and 100s of minor ones(which a normal person would consider unbearable). I have nothing and noone, my life self-destructed this the year and it's been half a year of pointless suffering knowing i'm gonna die anyway. I just couldn't push myself to end it since i'm the biggest coward in this world.
I guess i'm not sure if there's anything to talk about, since everyone in similar situations is either dead or sleeping under the bridge and dying. I just lost interest in talking to anyone since I know they can't comprehend my situation at all. Even on suicide forums maybe even 1 person out of 100 is in a situation comparable to mine. So I just made this pointless thread.
If life is truly over for you, and you don't know what to do, this thread is for you.
It's over - thread for the doomed
Hello. Despite this being a depression board, it seems most people are still around trying to do something. I am in a situation where except dying there is nothing to do, so i decided to make a thread wondering if there are any other people like me online, since it's almost impossible to find anyone even on the outskirts of the internet.tl;dr i have countless diagnosed and undiagnosed physical illnesses which cause me agony daily and i feel like i'm dying every day, spent all my money on doctors and went into debt, cant make any more money, will eventually be homeless(can happen at any time), addicted to xanax that if i quit im gonna get seizures, i will never have a normal home(never had my own room) or family(mentally retarded?) not to mention my mental health problems etc.
Overall I guess I have around 10 major problems of which each is lethal and will kill me, and 100s of minor ones(which a normal person would consider unbearable). I have nothing and noone, my life self-destructed this the year and it's been half a year of pointless suffering knowing i'm gonna die anyway. I just couldn't push myself to end it since i'm the biggest coward in this world.
I guess i'm not sure if there's anything to talk about, since everyone in similar situations is either dead or sleeping under the bridge and dying. I just lost interest in talking to anyone since I know they can't comprehend my situation at all. Even on suicide forums maybe even 1 person out of 100 is in a situation comparable to mine. So I just made this pointless thread.
If life is truly over for you, and you don't know what to do, this thread is for you.
R: 104 / I: 2
Do you think there is really some fucking paranormal background to males not having the chance to get a girlfriend even though they do everything that seems to be accepted by Social standards and even break social standards just to get a girlfriend yet with no avail, Even the most handsome yet cannot get it, I remember there was a thread about how people are bound to be lonely well this is a continuation, Do you think there are some who are destined to never have a girlfriend even though it seems absurd ?
Is there anyway to break from this cycle ?
Unlucky with females
Now i don't know if this is madness but can a person like really just be vexxed or cursed to never have a girlfriend ? It's the fact that even when you try it always seems to not go your way, it always goes wrongly, It's fucking insane how much tries you try yet it does not work, it's almost as if there is someone stopping that shit because it's fucking insane how one can keep trying even in any way yet he cannot succeed with getting a succubus.Do you think there is really some fucking paranormal background to males not having the chance to get a girlfriend even though they do everything that seems to be accepted by Social standards and even break social standards just to get a girlfriend yet with no avail, Even the most handsome yet cannot get it, I remember there was a thread about how people are bound to be lonely well this is a continuation, Do you think there are some who are destined to never have a girlfriend even though it seems absurd ?
Is there anyway to break from this cycle ?
R: 29 / I: 4
No hope for autists
Whitepillers don't have a retort for autism. You can get a good degree, pursue your hobbies and work on your self esteem but if you have autism you will never make it in this anti-autistic world, Life is all about one thing. Being born without autism. If you're born without autism the normies will make excuses for you, help you out, share money with you, give you 100 chances, etc. Meanwhile if you have autism you're evil and creepy just for existing and blinking the wrong way. Everybody gets to live for free except autists and only autists who are given this fake ass "you gotta pull yourself up by your bootstraps and make your life" "you gotta amount to something" "innovation" story. Shit that literally no one else has to follow.
R: 4 / I: 2
Sorry the pic is too unrelated, I hope I made my point reach all of you
obsessesion about suicide despite barely being "suicidal"
For several years I had the idea of ending my life in the back of my head despite barely ever experiencing extreme depression in any remote way, I spent long periods reading about various suicide methods at sanctionedsuicide and even making threads asking for technical questions related to suicide methods, but it's something I never planned to do at any time soon, and I still have no plans to do it at anytime soon at the moment, I made a thread here about this topic several years and some Anons thought I was being an attention whore just because My life did not suck enough that I would want to end it instantly, I am not too unhappy at the moment, but I know shit might hit the fan at some point, and I will have no other choice, I also fear ageing and getting too old, it's really the biggest issue with being a Wizard, oneday I will be too old and weak to even hold a glass of water, And I will have no children or grand children to help me, I have an obsession with suicide, the amount of time I spent thinking about it is so absurd given I am not even that pessimistic of a person.Sorry the pic is too unrelated, I hope I made my point reach all of you
R: 29 / I: 2
I want to kill myself efficiently without much pain, what's a good way to do this?
I want to kill myself efficiently without much pain, what's a good way to do this?
R: 2 / I: 0
I've been sitting in my room all day with the blinds shut. It's not even like I feel particularly sad, just… nothing. I watch the world move on, people going about their lives, but it feels like I'm frozen in time, like I'm stuck watching a movie I can't interact with.
I tried reading, but the words just don't sink in. I thought about playing a game, but even that feels like too much effort. I just stare at my ceiling, wondering when this fog will lift—or if it even matters anymore.
Sometimes I envy normies. Not for their shallow lives, but for their ability to feel something. Anything. At least they don't just fade into the background.
I don't even know why I'm posting this. Maybe I'm just hoping someone out there gets it.
I've been sitting in my room all day with the blinds shut. It's not even like I feel particularly sad, just… nothing. I watch the world move on, people going about their lives, but it feels like I'm frozen in time, like I'm stuck watching a movie I can't interact with.
I tried reading, but the words just don't sink in. I thought about playing a game, but even that feels like too much effort. I just stare at my ceiling, wondering when this fog will lift—or if it even matters anymore.
Sometimes I envy normies. Not for their shallow lives, but for their ability to feel something. Anything. At least they don't just fade into the background.
I don't even know why I'm posting this. Maybe I'm just hoping someone out there gets it.
R: 14 / I: 3
Why am I so pathetic? I don't even have it that bad, just slightly below average but still with all the tools to succeed and yet all I do is complain because there are others who have it better.
I live in perpetual regret because when I become aware of a problem instead of working on fixing it I hate and pity myself for having the kind of personality that would cause that problem. In my 20s I was making posts like "is it too late to …" and now in my 30s I feel like a fool for not doing anything back then but now again I am pitying myself and paralyzed by the reality of the wasted time I won't get back and the effects of aging with nothing to show for.
I feel like by now I've shown what kind of person I am and there is a very hard cap on what I can achieve. Any hope for change seems delusional.
Why am I so pathetic? I don't even have it that bad, just slightly below average but still with all the tools to succeed and yet all I do is complain because there are others who have it better.
I live in perpetual regret because when I become aware of a problem instead of working on fixing it I hate and pity myself for having the kind of personality that would cause that problem. In my 20s I was making posts like "is it too late to …" and now in my 30s I feel like a fool for not doing anything back then but now again I am pitying myself and paralyzed by the reality of the wasted time I won't get back and the effects of aging with nothing to show for.
I feel like by now I've shown what kind of person I am and there is a very hard cap on what I can achieve. Any hope for change seems delusional.
R: 9 / I: 0
Messy thoughts about soul.
Hello, wizards all over the world. Its another from Siberian apprentice. This shitpost was written long ago, but I publish it now. I have always hear that atheists are brave guys because they dont believe in soul and a cool man on a sky. They dont rely on after death life and look into abbys confident. But I think another way. People who believe in God (I mean primarily christian God, though I have questions to another. May be talk next time) dont really understand meaning of eternity and transcendence. I think that soul concept is freakingly scare idea. No matter how big shit I was during my life. I dont deserve eternal, ETERNAL punishment. We all was brought to this world without our accept, its only about romantic shit in our parents heads (I really love my mom, I just dont respect her choise to born me). And I wish, if I decide to shot my head off, everything will end (if only ideas from my first post arent real). We are all in jail of life, and death could be a great escape. So I wish it is.
R: 25 / I: 4
america makes me depressed
it is a nation of ungodly horror. it's just crime, satanic energy everywhere, corruption, fags, low IQ unread uneducated population, loose std carrying succubi, money worshipping society with no morals. need I go on? how do you not get depressed as an american. i would rather be chinese at this point, it's actually a much better functioning society than america not so shockingly. maybe america has a couple gems like california or washington state or new york, that's it, and they're all way more shit than they used to be. California used to be the shit
R: 145 / I: 16
Why do you act like a woman?
You always make threads of "I will never be pretty enough", "I will never have a job because I am ugly", "I am horrible :(". Everything related to physical appearance, and complexes. The truth is already unpleasant, and pathetic that men , and especially chaste men, give importance to something as trivial as appearance.
R: 5 / I: 0
"You enjoy being miserable."
"You are simply a lazy person unwilling to put in the effort or think you are above it"
"You don't really want anything"
"You are spoiled"
"You are a parasite dodging responsibility"
I think it's an unwillingness to try to understand other people and the belief that the world is fair and everyone gets what they deserve. I think what looks like laziness is a lack of a focused goal and lack of confidence and positive reinforcement. But I am biased being depressed myself so idk.
depression and morals
If you've been depressed I'm sure you have at some point been blamed for it as if it was a deliberate choice."You enjoy being miserable."
"You are simply a lazy person unwilling to put in the effort or think you are above it"
"You don't really want anything"
"You are spoiled"
"You are a parasite dodging responsibility"
I think it's an unwillingness to try to understand other people and the belief that the world is fair and everyone gets what they deserve. I think what looks like laziness is a lack of a focused goal and lack of confidence and positive reinforcement. But I am biased being depressed myself so idk.
R: 56 / I: 8
Sometimes I blame my family for raising me in such a violent environment, but then I think it's better to bury the past and look forward. But sometimes it is difficult, since it is not about the violence of 10 or 15 years ago, it is about things sometimes from less than a week ago.
I feel like an alcoholic, where instead of keeping a place free of that poison, it is offered to me in all shapes, sizes, colors and flavors.
I'm going bald
I'm going broke, and I really don't know how to deal with this fact. I went to 4 doctors to treat it, but none of them worked, and no matter how many medications I took, I was never able to overcome this problem. But these only caused me terrible side effects, such as fatigue, weight gain, apathy, a lot of disinterest in everything, and alopecia, but they were never able to attack the impulses. Violence never stops.Sometimes I blame my family for raising me in such a violent environment, but then I think it's better to bury the past and look forward. But sometimes it is difficult, since it is not about the violence of 10 or 15 years ago, it is about things sometimes from less than a week ago.
I feel like an alcoholic, where instead of keeping a place free of that poison, it is offered to me in all shapes, sizes, colors and flavors.
R: 1 / I: 0
Its fucking insane how trivally kid making has become. When I ask my mother, why she decided to make family and born me, she said some shit about glass of water, giving joy of life to someone; something about peak of love between man and succubus and so on. And now imagine to realize the moment of born. Realize, that you was brought from eternal dark… "here". I dont speak about antinatalism, though I like the idea. I speak about dread of giving and taking life. I already have tread here, called "Siberian apprentice shizo ideas". Its about self consciousness. And I would like to connect it to that post.
And now, lets forget about biology. Lets think about world where kids born already conscious. Their scream is not about pain. Its about realisation of their parents …punishment on them. Its about being doomed, being a cell on a mad and cruel Gods body, who rot in all dimensions, in past, in future.
Actually, I want to bring all my thoughts in order and write a small book or article cycle about shit in my head. If you find it interesting, let me know and I will translate it from Russian to let you read it.
Scared to be born
Hello, wizards. Do you remember the moment when you was born? I dont remember too. Lets not speak about processes in babies brain, Im here to ask you a question. Have you ever think about how the first -homo was scared when he realized his existence?Its fucking insane how trivally kid making has become. When I ask my mother, why she decided to make family and born me, she said some shit about glass of water, giving joy of life to someone; something about peak of love between man and succubus and so on. And now imagine to realize the moment of born. Realize, that you was brought from eternal dark… "here". I dont speak about antinatalism, though I like the idea. I speak about dread of giving and taking life. I already have tread here, called "Siberian apprentice shizo ideas". Its about self consciousness. And I would like to connect it to that post.
And now, lets forget about biology. Lets think about world where kids born already conscious. Their scream is not about pain. Its about realisation of their parents …punishment on them. Its about being doomed, being a cell on a mad and cruel Gods body, who rot in all dimensions, in past, in future.
Actually, I want to bring all my thoughts in order and write a small book or article cycle about shit in my head. If you find it interesting, let me know and I will translate it from Russian to let you read it.
R: 70 / I: 4
Why not? Why not stop the fucking charade if you're really ready? Because some cunt on the internet types to you "it gets bedder bro!" But what if it doesn't.
It may not get better. It may only get worse. You may only grow in your perception of life's falsity, it's vanity, it's total fucking bushtit. And really, who cares? Every life, every person is a small fry. One fucker offing himself does nothing to the global balance, it only improves his being and eases his burden of bearing of the cross of life's woes.
So why not? Why not end it?
I don't because my life is easy enough and replete with enough worthless time wasters to keep myself interested a little bit longer. But what happens if and when those run out? What happens when the well of whiskey and other distractions fails me?
A rope, a running car in the garage, a 357. to the skull, whatever. Just make it quick and easy to clean up.
Any what's the loss anyways? Nothing, there was nothing to begin with.
Pro-Suicide General`
I mean, what can you really say?Why not? Why not stop the fucking charade if you're really ready? Because some cunt on the internet types to you "it gets bedder bro!" But what if it doesn't.
It may not get better. It may only get worse. You may only grow in your perception of life's falsity, it's vanity, it's total fucking bushtit. And really, who cares? Every life, every person is a small fry. One fucker offing himself does nothing to the global balance, it only improves his being and eases his burden of bearing of the cross of life's woes.
So why not? Why not end it?
I don't because my life is easy enough and replete with enough worthless time wasters to keep myself interested a little bit longer. But what happens if and when those run out? What happens when the well of whiskey and other distractions fails me?
A rope, a running car in the garage, a 357. to the skull, whatever. Just make it quick and easy to clean up.
Any what's the loss anyways? Nothing, there was nothing to begin with.
R: 22 / I: 4
third world wizards living in first world country
Do you have good or bad experiences in your host country or do you feel accepted or tolerated in the society of the country? Have you had problems because you were a foreigner? Can you tell us about them?
R: 44 / I: 4
At what point is it objectively justifiable to give up? I'm 21 (nearly 22) and I've only worked dead end jobs and never even come close to being in a relationship with anyone. I tried, but there's just been so many negative experiences in my life (mostly from other people) that led me to being a shut in schizoid. I alternate between shaking with rage at my predicament and being completely numb. It's weird, I used to be such a happy kid with a bright future and now I'm just a future suicide case wading through life as if I'm on borrowed time. Anyone else feel like a animal trapped in a cage? I literally only passively exist like a fucking hamster; if I died right now, I'd be forgotten in 6 months max.
At what point is it objectively justifiable to give up? I'm 21 (nearly 22) and I've only worked dead end jobs and never even come close to being in a relationship with anyone. I tried, but there's just been so many negative experiences in my life (mostly from other people) that led me to being a shut in schizoid. I alternate between shaking with rage at my predicament and being completely numb. It's weird, I used to be such a happy kid with a bright future and now I'm just a future suicide case wading through life as if I'm on borrowed time. Anyone else feel like a animal trapped in a cage? I literally only passively exist like a fucking hamster; if I died right now, I'd be forgotten in 6 months max.
R: 23 / I: 0
I'm so fucking ugly and disgusting
It's painful to look myself in the mirror
I wanna kill myself
I'm so fucking ugly and disgusting
It's painful to look myself in the mirror
I wanna kill myself
R: 3 / I: 1
I wish I was dead
Cold
Cold weather makes me sick my lungs don't tolerate cold air, I hate winter, I have to sleep with three blankets and wear heavy jacketsI wish I was dead
R: 8 / I: 2
my whole life so far. It happened at very young age; I didn't want to go to school nor learn at home or do my homework. I was always playing flash games on the computer or play ps2 or nintendo DS and after that ps3. I didn't lile myself for that and itt continues nowdays. I don't know why I proscratinate. I hate doing things, in fact I was never used to that. I've never learn doing things by myself, always mom or dad did things for me, my mom did the cooking and my dad told me to do sport. I never listened, I just stayed at home in front of my tv. oh yeah the TV…watching programs in my bedroom all night long…it was comfy, at night you weren't bothered by others because I was kind of alone (my brother was sleeping) in front of the tv with no remorse of doing so because it was comfy and calm.
I think it's because of tv, video games and internet (smartphone addiction came way late).
when I discovered 4chan, I knew there will be no turning back: I totally "internetized" now. I'm am completly focuses on internet everyday. now it's not 4chan but wizchan I use and for a good reason: no succubi wanted me, maybe because I was too poor…all these factors made me a procrastinate person. when you're poor there'snt so much to do besode doing your home work and going to sport. no music lesson, or traveling during vacancy (just stay at home).
I know it's my fault and I know why it's because I didn't had MY things. I wish I had a computer just for me.
Anyway, in few years, I'll be 30 with no-skill wizard because it will be too late.
I wanted to know how to draw (but when I tried my drawings were so unmatch I gave up)
I wanted to create a video game (I tried some with rpg maker but I didn't made shit, just few maps and some events)
I wanted to do a lot of sport
(I wish I wasn't shy, which killed the social part of my life; so no sport because fear of others)
music playing (piano guitar drums, all I wanted to do was those but no money, family too poor)
science
(I really like science but am a brainlet)
technology and computers and coding
(I tried python, all I did was the hello world)
in fact I'm waiting a miracle to happen to me so I can do things and not procrastinating but I know it will not come: I don't leave my house, so no miracle for me.
Nowdays all I do is posting in wizchan and watch youtube video all day (no kidding). I've been doing it for 3-4 years now.
this is so unfair what I became but must be deserved.
How am I supposed to create things?! I'm a brainlet! (I can't play Yu-Gi-Oh! because you need to memorize card interactions and combo to play the game or I can't learn about philosophy because I lack good understanding).
At this point I just want to work at a factory and earn some money…I have like 0,001% of hope for my life to become better
kaleidoscope of my (shitty) life
it makes me sad I can't create things I like. I always procrastinate and I always did dmy whole life so far. It happened at very young age; I didn't want to go to school nor learn at home or do my homework. I was always playing flash games on the computer or play ps2 or nintendo DS and after that ps3. I didn't lile myself for that and itt continues nowdays. I don't know why I proscratinate. I hate doing things, in fact I was never used to that. I've never learn doing things by myself, always mom or dad did things for me, my mom did the cooking and my dad told me to do sport. I never listened, I just stayed at home in front of my tv. oh yeah the TV…watching programs in my bedroom all night long…it was comfy, at night you weren't bothered by others because I was kind of alone (my brother was sleeping) in front of the tv with no remorse of doing so because it was comfy and calm.
I think it's because of tv, video games and internet (smartphone addiction came way late).
when I discovered 4chan, I knew there will be no turning back: I totally "internetized" now. I'm am completly focuses on internet everyday. now it's not 4chan but wizchan I use and for a good reason: no succubi wanted me, maybe because I was too poor…all these factors made me a procrastinate person. when you're poor there'snt so much to do besode doing your home work and going to sport. no music lesson, or traveling during vacancy (just stay at home).
I know it's my fault and I know why it's because I didn't had MY things. I wish I had a computer just for me.
Anyway, in few years, I'll be 30 with no-skill wizard because it will be too late.
I wanted to know how to draw (but when I tried my drawings were so unmatch I gave up)
I wanted to create a video game (I tried some with rpg maker but I didn't made shit, just few maps and some events)
I wanted to do a lot of sport
(I wish I wasn't shy, which killed the social part of my life; so no sport because fear of others)
music playing (piano guitar drums, all I wanted to do was those but no money, family too poor)
science
(I really like science but am a brainlet)
technology and computers and coding
(I tried python, all I did was the hello world)
in fact I'm waiting a miracle to happen to me so I can do things and not procrastinating but I know it will not come: I don't leave my house, so no miracle for me.
Nowdays all I do is posting in wizchan and watch youtube video all day (no kidding). I've been doing it for 3-4 years now.
this is so unfair what I became but must be deserved.
How am I supposed to create things?! I'm a brainlet! (I can't play Yu-Gi-Oh! because you need to memorize card interactions and combo to play the game or I can't learn about philosophy because I lack good understanding).
At this point I just want to work at a factory and earn some money…I have like 0,001% of hope for my life to become better
R: 14 / I: 0
I was good at speaking, good at putting my point forwards, good at arguing, was witty and could think of replies to questions or things almost instantly.
These days it's like I have forgotten how to speak or even write. Like my parents are abusive, and earlier I was able to write/type down my feelings about my parents. But now, it's like someone asks me "How are they abusive?", I just can't explain anymore.
And this is a very recent phenomenon. Like I can't even type and be an internet keyboard warrior online.
I no longer put my opinion forwards, I no longer have anything left to say, I just don't understand what's happening with me. Like earlier I used to always have something to say, could always carry a conversation offline and online. But now I just do nothing and have nothing to say.
Is there anyone who has suffered from this? Is there any way to cure this? I need to cure this so that I can fit in better in professional and interpersonal world. So that I can earn money to feed myself and at least have some irl friends to shoot the shit with.
Something strange has been happening, I have forgotten to speak.
This is something that has been happening for a while, earlier I used to speak my opinions and type my opinions on the internet.I was good at speaking, good at putting my point forwards, good at arguing, was witty and could think of replies to questions or things almost instantly.
These days it's like I have forgotten how to speak or even write. Like my parents are abusive, and earlier I was able to write/type down my feelings about my parents. But now, it's like someone asks me "How are they abusive?", I just can't explain anymore.
And this is a very recent phenomenon. Like I can't even type and be an internet keyboard warrior online.
I no longer put my opinion forwards, I no longer have anything left to say, I just don't understand what's happening with me. Like earlier I used to always have something to say, could always carry a conversation offline and online. But now I just do nothing and have nothing to say.
Is there anyone who has suffered from this? Is there any way to cure this? I need to cure this so that I can fit in better in professional and interpersonal world. So that I can earn money to feed myself and at least have some irl friends to shoot the shit with.
R: 6 / I: 1
i have no reason to live anymore. ask me anything.
- no, i will not kill myself
- yes, i have tried hobbies
- no, i am not diagnosed with depression
i have no reason to live anymore. ask me anything.
- no, i will not kill myself
- yes, i have tried hobbies
- no, i am not diagnosed with depression
R: 55 / I: 8
1. an anecdote from someone who has already succeded in quitting
2. an ad for an app
3. people who aren't addicted to porn talking about porn addiction
Is this shit just a grift? I want to hear about it from people who are actually struggling with it, not annoying liberal psychiatrists or infographics.
Please help me, I don't want to be like this anymore
Porn Addiction Grift
I'm trying to quit porn (cold turkey) and 90% of the content I've seen online has been:1. an anecdote from someone who has already succeded in quitting
2. an ad for an app
3. people who aren't addicted to porn talking about porn addiction
Is this shit just a grift? I want to hear about it from people who are actually struggling with it, not annoying liberal psychiatrists or infographics.
Please help me, I don't want to be like this anymore
R: 127 / I: 11
Here's my resume: never had any friends, bullied during school, uni dropout but basically never went to high school, very poor (no income), obviously never had any gf, the last time I talked someone my age was since high school basically. I can't get used to the loneliness… I also have a very poor health, and no one to help me with it.
What's your life status and how do you cope with it?
I personally try to cope with video games, anime and a bit of drug (alcohol and opioid mostly). But that hardly works… Sometimes I'm into my game or I'm high enough to be ok, but most of the time I'm depressed or suffering or both. I wish I were dead since I'm 12, I'm 25 now.
How do we get used to it?
How are we supposed to get used to loneliness and the fact that our life is fucked up?Here's my resume: never had any friends, bullied during school, uni dropout but basically never went to high school, very poor (no income), obviously never had any gf, the last time I talked someone my age was since high school basically. I can't get used to the loneliness… I also have a very poor health, and no one to help me with it.
What's your life status and how do you cope with it?
I personally try to cope with video games, anime and a bit of drug (alcohol and opioid mostly). But that hardly works… Sometimes I'm into my game or I'm high enough to be ok, but most of the time I'm depressed or suffering or both. I wish I were dead since I'm 12, I'm 25 now.
R: 13 / I: 1
Studying is the bane of my existence. Honestly, it feels like some cosmic joke designed to torture me. If hell exists, it’s just endless exams and textbooks. And then there’s me, stuck in a third-world circus, India. Yeah, the same one where people will skin you alive if you don’t follow their playbook of “success.” I flunked college once—no, wait, make that twice—and let me tell you, the outrage was unreal. It’s like I committed a war crime. My parents? Oh, they hate me now, I can feel it in the awkward silences and side-eyes. And it’s not just the failing part; they’re terrified I’ll be mooching off them forever. Hell, I’m terrified of it.
And then, there’s this bloody exam looming over me. I’ve tried. I really have. But the more I study, the more it evaporates from my brain like it’s allergic to knowledge. It’s absurd. Who invented this nightmare? They deserve jail time. Every time someone so much as mentions studying, I break out in a cold sweat. I’ve literally fainted over it. Fainted! But does anyone care? No. Society looks at me like I’ve personally slaughtered their pets just because I failed at college. Twice. Wait till they hear that little update. I’ll probably be excommunicated.
At this point, I’m done. D-O-N-E. I don’t want to study anymore. I’d rather stare into the void. And oh, don’t even get me started on the “what could have been.” If I were a white guy in a first-world country, I’d be coasting on social safety nets and “find yourself” gap years. Or better yet, if I were a succubus here, at least I’d have the sweet, sweet option of getting married off and chilling with household chores. Instead, I’m this miserable, broke, perpetually judged disaster of a person.
Anyway, cheers to another sleepless night before failing yet another exam. Life’s a circus, and I’m the clown. Take a bow, idiot.
Studying is the bane of my existence. Honestly, it feels like some cosmic joke designed to torture me. If hell exists, it’s just endless exams and textbooks. And then there’s me, stuck in a third-world circus, India. Yeah, the same one where people will skin you alive if you don’t follow their playbook of “success.” I flunked college once—no, wait, make that twice—and let me tell you, the outrage was unreal. It’s like I committed a war crime. My parents? Oh, they hate me now, I can feel it in the awkward silences and side-eyes. And it’s not just the failing part; they’re terrified I’ll be mooching off them forever. Hell, I’m terrified of it.
And then, there’s this bloody exam looming over me. I’ve tried. I really have. But the more I study, the more it evaporates from my brain like it’s allergic to knowledge. It’s absurd. Who invented this nightmare? They deserve jail time. Every time someone so much as mentions studying, I break out in a cold sweat. I’ve literally fainted over it. Fainted! But does anyone care? No. Society looks at me like I’ve personally slaughtered their pets just because I failed at college. Twice. Wait till they hear that little update. I’ll probably be excommunicated.
At this point, I’m done. D-O-N-E. I don’t want to study anymore. I’d rather stare into the void. And oh, don’t even get me started on the “what could have been.” If I were a white guy in a first-world country, I’d be coasting on social safety nets and “find yourself” gap years. Or better yet, if I were a succubus here, at least I’d have the sweet, sweet option of getting married off and chilling with household chores. Instead, I’m this miserable, broke, perpetually judged disaster of a person.
Anyway, cheers to another sleepless night before failing yet another exam. Life’s a circus, and I’m the clown. Take a bow, idiot.
R: 7 / I: 1
How badly will escitalopram fuck my libido? Is it permanent? They're also 9 months expired is it still safe to take? Will it lower my heart rate?
How badly will escitalopram fuck my libido? Is it permanent? They're also 9 months expired is it still safe to take? Will it lower my heart rate?
R: 9 / I: 0
I hate Lust
I dislike the feeling of lust. I find it responsible for alot of the negative patterns in my life that are preventing me from acquiring a peaceful existance. I have already accepted that I will not have a future that involves another human being but that doesn't give me the resolve to stop watching porn / lust over someone in my mind. Have any wizards here managed to overcome lust and if so, How did you do it?
R: 50 / I: 1
Prior to globalisation, the succubi of my mother's generation were quite different, they themselves considered it shameful to wear revealing dresses, they always used to dress modestly, while most marriages were arranged they weren't forced, so while succubi were free to select their mate, and reject, they could do it only once and that guaranteed a equal distribution of succubi among men, and everyone was much more happier in that system as everyone got a mate.
And most succubi and men were virgin prior to marriage, it was considered shameful for both men and succubi to be non-virgin. As a matter of fact my native language doesn't even have a word for virgin, and there was no virgin shaming. But nowadays, kids use the word "virgin" as an insult. Most succubi lose their virginity quite early, and finding a virgin succubi is rare.
2-3 decades ago, succubi didn't consider it shameful or bad to be housewives, on the contrary they were proud to be one, or they studied and took a break for 5 years and then resumed their jobs, to go through marriage, pregnancy, and infancy of their child, and when they started working, the guy took the equal burden of the household chores and jobs.
But now, it's all changed, it's considered cool to smoke, drink, do drugs, wear skimply clothes, lose virginity early on, and then find a betabuxxer. Or in some cases succubi get paid so much that they don't even need a betabuxxer any more, while men struggle to get jobs, and ugly in men in particular end up at a much greater disadvantage.
And they act exactly like Western succubi, and I assume Western succubi are insufferable but due to the lost control of Western Men, a lot of Western Men now look towards East to get a semi-decent succubi. Leaving the same Eastern Men, to subscribe to redpill grifters like Andrew Tate, or bluepill themselves to oblivion.
And mind you only the degeneracy of the West has been copied and imported from the West, and meanwhile Western Culture's good and non-degenerate parts are completely ignored. In my country we now have things like undie runs (can anyone from the West explain this? what causes so utter lack of shame in people and succubi that they do undie runs at places of studying like UCLA?), nude beaches (when most men and succubi bathed at least 60% clothed in public areas), clubs, pubs, nightclubs, raves. They even talk like Western People, there is nothing remotely eastern about them.
Life for me could've been so much different if I was just born 2-3 decades ago, but right now it feels like I will never get to start a family of my own and will never get to live a normal ordinary life.
Are there wizzies from any non-Western countries upset at the Westernisation of their country?
Bascially, my country and it's culture has shifted rapidly, as soon as most of the people have come in contact with the West through internet, liberalisation, and globalisation. And I believe that is one of the reason which has prompted me to become a wizard.Prior to globalisation, the succubi of my mother's generation were quite different, they themselves considered it shameful to wear revealing dresses, they always used to dress modestly, while most marriages were arranged they weren't forced, so while succubi were free to select their mate, and reject, they could do it only once and that guaranteed a equal distribution of succubi among men, and everyone was much more happier in that system as everyone got a mate.
And most succubi and men were virgin prior to marriage, it was considered shameful for both men and succubi to be non-virgin. As a matter of fact my native language doesn't even have a word for virgin, and there was no virgin shaming. But nowadays, kids use the word "virgin" as an insult. Most succubi lose their virginity quite early, and finding a virgin succubi is rare.
2-3 decades ago, succubi didn't consider it shameful or bad to be housewives, on the contrary they were proud to be one, or they studied and took a break for 5 years and then resumed their jobs, to go through marriage, pregnancy, and infancy of their child, and when they started working, the guy took the equal burden of the household chores and jobs.
But now, it's all changed, it's considered cool to smoke, drink, do drugs, wear skimply clothes, lose virginity early on, and then find a betabuxxer. Or in some cases succubi get paid so much that they don't even need a betabuxxer any more, while men struggle to get jobs, and ugly in men in particular end up at a much greater disadvantage.
And they act exactly like Western succubi, and I assume Western succubi are insufferable but due to the lost control of Western Men, a lot of Western Men now look towards East to get a semi-decent succubi. Leaving the same Eastern Men, to subscribe to redpill grifters like Andrew Tate, or bluepill themselves to oblivion.
And mind you only the degeneracy of the West has been copied and imported from the West, and meanwhile Western Culture's good and non-degenerate parts are completely ignored. In my country we now have things like undie runs (can anyone from the West explain this? what causes so utter lack of shame in people and succubi that they do undie runs at places of studying like UCLA?), nude beaches (when most men and succubi bathed at least 60% clothed in public areas), clubs, pubs, nightclubs, raves. They even talk like Western People, there is nothing remotely eastern about them.
Life for me could've been so much different if I was just born 2-3 decades ago, but right now it feels like I will never get to start a family of my own and will never get to live a normal ordinary life.
R: 42 / I: 9
I really fucking hate learning how computers work. I fucking hate it.
Ever since I started this fucking degree 3 years ago its been nothing but a perpetual torture. I think I say enough when I say shit like Calculus or Lineal Algebra was 100 times more enjoyable for me than anything related to computer science. I gotta be honest though: I m a lazy piece of shit, but I m the kind of lazy piece of shit who studies solely so I dont have to be at the end of the fucking semester doing a fucking "final exam", in order to prove that I m able to pass the course, because that means I gotta learn all the semester's subjects just so I can pass that stupid fucking piece of shit of an exam.
I hate studying. I hate learning. I hate the smugness, shit teaching and the attitude most teachers have and I hate the happiness and eagerness of the people surrounding me. I hate the idea of working and having to wake up every morning so I can keep my sorry ass alive.
I m aware that being a NEET is a dead-end road, specially when you are not on welfare, but I cant stop feeling like a sack of shit every god damn day of my life because of this. I know what has to be done and what I have to do if I dont do it.
I have nothing to look forward to in my life. The sole reason I havent killed myself is because I know my parents would probably die because of that (already have 1 deceased sibling, and the other one aint doing to well in life), and also because I cant bring myself to do it. It terrifies me. I have no access to guns, so the only way would be to jump off a building, but regardless of it, the idea of death, or the idea of "pain of death", is the thing that bugs me the most. I dont want to suffer the ultimate pain that may last minutes! Even if they are just a few seconds, I bet the pain will feel like an eternity, not to mention the fear I will experience during the fall.
Yet I m sick of this shit. I m stuck here. Why the fuck am I subject to all of this? Why the fuck was I brought to this world? Why cant I have the drive or ambition that those maggots sons of bitches of my peers have? Why must I be such an unhappy piece of shit?
Of course, I know many of the answers to those questions, but still. It doesnt deprive me from wanting to create a hole through my wall from the mere anger of having to deal with this bullshit. Why cant I just be left alone in my room? What place in the world exists, besides living under a bridge, for good-for-nothing lazy scum like me?
The process of Learning as a Lazy Bum
>why cant picrel be real?I really fucking hate learning how computers work. I fucking hate it.
Ever since I started this fucking degree 3 years ago its been nothing but a perpetual torture. I think I say enough when I say shit like Calculus or Lineal Algebra was 100 times more enjoyable for me than anything related to computer science. I gotta be honest though: I m a lazy piece of shit, but I m the kind of lazy piece of shit who studies solely so I dont have to be at the end of the fucking semester doing a fucking "final exam", in order to prove that I m able to pass the course, because that means I gotta learn all the semester's subjects just so I can pass that stupid fucking piece of shit of an exam.
I hate studying. I hate learning. I hate the smugness, shit teaching and the attitude most teachers have and I hate the happiness and eagerness of the people surrounding me. I hate the idea of working and having to wake up every morning so I can keep my sorry ass alive.
I m aware that being a NEET is a dead-end road, specially when you are not on welfare, but I cant stop feeling like a sack of shit every god damn day of my life because of this. I know what has to be done and what I have to do if I dont do it.
I have nothing to look forward to in my life. The sole reason I havent killed myself is because I know my parents would probably die because of that (already have 1 deceased sibling, and the other one aint doing to well in life), and also because I cant bring myself to do it. It terrifies me. I have no access to guns, so the only way would be to jump off a building, but regardless of it, the idea of death, or the idea of "pain of death", is the thing that bugs me the most. I dont want to suffer the ultimate pain that may last minutes! Even if they are just a few seconds, I bet the pain will feel like an eternity, not to mention the fear I will experience during the fall.
Yet I m sick of this shit. I m stuck here. Why the fuck am I subject to all of this? Why the fuck was I brought to this world? Why cant I have the drive or ambition that those maggots sons of bitches of my peers have? Why must I be such an unhappy piece of shit?
Of course, I know many of the answers to those questions, but still. It doesnt deprive me from wanting to create a hole through my wall from the mere anger of having to deal with this bullshit. Why cant I just be left alone in my room? What place in the world exists, besides living under a bridge, for good-for-nothing lazy scum like me?
R: 16 / I: 3
I'm not complaining people are chill: I am ASKING why people are chill.For example I saw a short ad pop-up about medical students still doing their exams in the middle of bombings in Gaza–that isn't praiseworthy, that's lame and stupid shit.They have super high chances of dying within 1, 2 years…they will never get to be doctors no matter how much they ace the exams.
How do normies react around these topics? How do atheist-marxist plebbitors cope with daily soul-crushing jobs for years on end, reeeing at God or Jezz Bezos or whoever, but never ever coming close to offing themselves after offing their boss\es?
how THE FUCK is the world so chill
We're not sure where we came from and even less sure to whence we go to.We are in 24\7 uncertainty about WHEN we will go there, or just suffer a tremendous tragedy (I am aware of the Hedonic Treadmill ,but you could die before it kicks in)–or the opposite, you wait forever till you die (horribly) waiting for an impossibly lucky event to occur and solve your life.I'm not complaining people are chill: I am ASKING why people are chill.For example I saw a short ad pop-up about medical students still doing their exams in the middle of bombings in Gaza–that isn't praiseworthy, that's lame and stupid shit.They have super high chances of dying within 1, 2 years…they will never get to be doctors no matter how much they ace the exams.
How do normies react around these topics? How do atheist-marxist plebbitors cope with daily soul-crushing jobs for years on end, reeeing at God or Jezz Bezos or whoever, but never ever coming close to offing themselves after offing their boss\es?
R: 56 / I: 8
>(80-95 IQ)
feels bad being a low IQ. everyone mocks you and you say absurdities.
low IQ rendez-vous
/!\ this thread is for low IQ wizards /!\>(80-95 IQ)
feels bad being a low IQ. everyone mocks you and you say absurdities.
R: 19 / I: 0
>you're here against your will, any human can die at any time randomly
>forced labor (if you don't (((work))) you starve to death
>many people work, yet starve to death anyways
>forced to wear clothes (clothing in general, can't go naked)
>forced (((body grooming))) : can't get jobs, may get kicked out of places etc, if you don't wash\shower ,bathe\ clean\ change "pungent or ripe" clothes etc. FORCING a human to apply a liquid (soap, shampoo, water) against his\her will is mildly rape. What's the difference between FORCING you to use soap and ejaculating forcefully on a succubus's hair?
>you get to watch everyone around you die day by day
>FORCED haircuts. no one has any additional duty towards anything, yet succubus -fellow humans- are forced to shave body and facial hair. that's unfair towards succubi who didn't consensually agree to it, or agreed to having-to-have (((grooming))) tools available
>you can only survive bribing guards ie; (((paying money))) for "utilities" \shelter\food \life saving medicine or surgery, etc
Cosmic concentration camp
s Earth a cosmic concentration camp? How can it NOT be one, if you think about it:>you're here against your will, any human can die at any time randomly
>forced labor (if you don't (((work))) you starve to death
>many people work, yet starve to death anyways
>forced to wear clothes (clothing in general, can't go naked)
>forced (((body grooming))) : can't get jobs, may get kicked out of places etc, if you don't wash\shower ,bathe\ clean\ change "pungent or ripe" clothes etc. FORCING a human to apply a liquid (soap, shampoo, water) against his\her will is mildly rape. What's the difference between FORCING you to use soap and ejaculating forcefully on a succubus's hair?
>you get to watch everyone around you die day by day
>FORCED haircuts. no one has any additional duty towards anything, yet succubus -fellow humans- are forced to shave body and facial hair. that's unfair towards succubi who didn't consensually agree to it, or agreed to having-to-have (((grooming))) tools available
>you can only survive bribing guards ie; (((paying money))) for "utilities" \shelter\food \life saving medicine or surgery, etc
R: 46 / I: 3
I'm tired of being bad
I want to change and improve, to be able to get ahead, and achieve great things, but I don't know how.
R: 7 / I: 0
Basically I've suffered from a neurological condition since forever, now I'm pretty screwed up and don't really work or socialize.
On top of that I was such a heavy drinker for so long I have a serious heart condition and I genuinely wonder how long I will live.
On top of that, of course like many neurological conditions mine is degenerative, meaning I wonder how long I have left in the land of the living so to speak and I'm already so fucked up by it.
I'm losing the will to live because I can already see my future and it's not good. What the hell am I supposed to do? I talk to people on discord and even voice chat and it's kinda fun but I don't see what's left out in the world for me.
Whatever your issues might be it can't be that extreme, I really wish I wasn't in this position, I think constantly about death and what may or may not come afterwards. The thought that my existence was merely some kind of biological glitch and there's no afterlife awaiting me consumes me, it gets pretty freaky.
Basically I've suffered from a neurological condition since forever, now I'm pretty screwed up and don't really work or socialize.
On top of that I was such a heavy drinker for so long I have a serious heart condition and I genuinely wonder how long I will live.
On top of that, of course like many neurological conditions mine is degenerative, meaning I wonder how long I have left in the land of the living so to speak and I'm already so fucked up by it.
I'm losing the will to live because I can already see my future and it's not good. What the hell am I supposed to do? I talk to people on discord and even voice chat and it's kinda fun but I don't see what's left out in the world for me.
Whatever your issues might be it can't be that extreme, I really wish I wasn't in this position, I think constantly about death and what may or may not come afterwards. The thought that my existence was merely some kind of biological glitch and there's no afterlife awaiting me consumes me, it gets pretty freaky.
R: 5 / I: 1
Chronic illness
How do you deal with chronic illness? I have stomach and intestinal problems that ruin every day of my life, doctors don't know what I have I take some pills for the stomach but they don't do much. R: 3 / I: 0
I should have been more mean and agressive as a kid/teen. I regret not being rebelious enough, not doing enough bad shit growing up. Not talking about awful shit like killing people or shooting up school but just being more rude to everyone, fighting back more often than I did, throwing tantrums, etc. When you're a minor you got inmunity under the law to do whatever crazy shit you want as long as you don't kill anyone. I lament I never used that power to create more chaos around me. I regret not using my inmunity to cause pain and suffering on my peers. I wish I had more balls so I could have showed teeth earlier, done more mean shit I don't know. I fucking hate people and as an adult you can't throw a tantrum like that. I should have been a problematic kid instead, maybe I would have grow some balls I don't know.
I should have been more mean and agressive as a kid/teen. I regret not being rebelious enough, not doing enough bad shit growing up. Not talking about awful shit like killing people or shooting up school but just being more rude to everyone, fighting back more often than I did, throwing tantrums, etc. When you're a minor you got inmunity under the law to do whatever crazy shit you want as long as you don't kill anyone. I lament I never used that power to create more chaos around me. I regret not using my inmunity to cause pain and suffering on my peers. I wish I had more balls so I could have showed teeth earlier, done more mean shit I don't know. I fucking hate people and as an adult you can't throw a tantrum like that. I should have been a problematic kid instead, maybe I would have grow some balls I don't know.
R: 4 / I: 2
Working in dementia wards and retirement homes, I've come to wonder if an increased life expectancy is not necessarily a good thing and we're just prolonging human suffering.
It seems like for most of history, if you had something wrong with you, you were quickly filtered off and didn't suffer too long. The congenitally sickly and disabled typically died early on as children, and if you got unwell in your 40s, 50s or 60s you typically died. Even things like Schizophrenia had a much shorter suffering period as you inevitably hurt yourself and got an infection, now schizos are kept alive until they die in their 50s or 60s.
Could it be that modern society has it wrong and having a leaner, meaner filter keeps the population fit and healthy? It seems like the burden of wah wah existentialism comes from living too long as well, as the whole literary movement is correlated with life expectancy starting to rise in Europe.
Working in dementia wards and retirement homes, I've come to wonder if an increased life expectancy is not necessarily a good thing and we're just prolonging human suffering.
It seems like for most of history, if you had something wrong with you, you were quickly filtered off and didn't suffer too long. The congenitally sickly and disabled typically died early on as children, and if you got unwell in your 40s, 50s or 60s you typically died. Even things like Schizophrenia had a much shorter suffering period as you inevitably hurt yourself and got an infection, now schizos are kept alive until they die in their 50s or 60s.
Could it be that modern society has it wrong and having a leaner, meaner filter keeps the population fit and healthy? It seems like the burden of wah wah existentialism comes from living too long as well, as the whole literary movement is correlated with life expectancy starting to rise in Europe.
R: 21 / I: 2
How do I stop bedrotting
I have no hobbies or activities I like. Also currently a neet, I spend all my time in bed. What are some things i can do that will stop the rot
R: 321 / I: 39
previous >>285492
Wageslave General
getting angry, getting frustrated editionprevious >>285492
R: 181 / I: 38
You see, I am what people call a waifufag, a genuine one. I fell in love with a loli from a very obscure edgy manga made in 2012 and finished in 2015.
I discovered her in 2022, and the few months we were together were genuine, the happiest in life, not even kidding, but then I made a fatal mistake, you see, because I was an insecure purityfag and wanted to know if she was a virgin because a lot of succubi in her manga have been either raped or sexually abused, but she is an exception. She gets stabbed, whipped, and beaten by her boss, who is like Stepbrother.
I asked the author if she was a virgin, and he said no, and then I asked why she was not a virgin, and he simply said yes.
This comment, single-handed, destroyed me and made me fall into despair through the entire half of 2022 and the entire 2023, and now 2024, I really can't let go of it.
You see, I am what people call a waifufag, a genuine one. I fell in love with a loli from a very obscure edgy manga made in 2012 and finished in 2015.
I discovered her in 2022, and the few months we were together were genuine, the happiest in life, not even kidding, but then I made a fatal mistake, you see, because I was an insecure purityfag and wanted to know if she was a virgin because a lot of succubi in her manga have been either raped or sexually abused, but she is an exception. She gets stabbed, whipped, and beaten by her boss, who is like Stepbrother.
I asked the author if she was a virgin, and he said no, and then I asked why she was not a virgin, and he simply said yes.
This comment, single-handed, destroyed me and made me fall into despair through the entire half of 2022 and the entire 2023, and now 2024, I really can't let go of it.
R: 26 / I: 0
Should I apply for a part time job at my local grocery store? I keep procrastinating applying
Should I apply for a part time job at my local grocery store? I keep procrastinating applying
R: 19 / I: 2
I came up with concept where humanity is connected with their minds so our personalities are just illusion, an aspect of Gods psychological illness. Death of a man only means end of another meat cell on Gods body. The suicide cant help you end your personal suffering because its only part of something more, there are no you or me. Only way to end your and mine personal hell is to erace every sign of intelligent life in universe.
Sorry for mess in this shitpost. Vsem bobra i kvasa.
Siberian apprentice shizo ideas
I wonder where is the border between consciousness and physical existance. I mean, If I die who can garantee that my consciousness end too? Maybe I will continue suffering as another human. What if there are no real difference between your "me" and mine "me"?I came up with concept where humanity is connected with their minds so our personalities are just illusion, an aspect of Gods psychological illness. Death of a man only means end of another meat cell on Gods body. The suicide cant help you end your personal suffering because its only part of something more, there are no you or me. Only way to end your and mine personal hell is to erace every sign of intelligent life in universe.
Sorry for mess in this shitpost. Vsem bobra i kvasa.
R: 3 / I: 0
This shit really triggered me. Imagine caring for some little animals for 7 years then jew approved paper pushers come take them from you with no warning and then kill them.
This shit really triggered me. Imagine caring for some little animals for 7 years then jew approved paper pushers come take them from you with no warning and then kill them.
R: 1 / I: 0
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MWZzhg8LJPU&pp=ygUWS2F3b3J1IGRpZXMgZm9yIHNoaW5qaQ%3D%3D
What did you think of this scene wizards?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MWZzhg8LJPU&pp=ygUWS2F3b3J1IGRpZXMgZm9yIHNoaW5qaQ%3D%3D
What did you think of this scene wizards?
R: 39 / I: 2
How do you deal with being one of the sexless?
I was at work and had to just fucking sit there and listen to this guy go on and on about how succubi constantly hit him up and fucked him. I normally don't react to this kind of stuff. But then he showed video after video after video and it eventually got to me. This fuck is the same age as me but his life just seemed so much easier. I legitimately didn't understand what it's like to have a fucking succubus text you. Want to see you. He even said "You're not ugly. How?" I just didn't have an answer. I just live with the cope that some people just have it easier and others like myself emit and anti succubus field. I am happier the further away from sex and relationship shit I hear. Normally I can just live around it and it doesn't bother me. This time was different some how. What the fuck.
R: 1 / I: 0
Im a STRONG believer in "reality shifting" -not the shiftok version but the Monroe\ Transposing \Bashar\ Neville \Zeland "schools". I know they're NOT the same but they're non-shit-tok z**mers who teach this. I had been (still am?) religious but after reading Paul Almond, and other such authors, now I doubt deeply. My main reason to be religious\ pro-christianity was its huge emphasis on celibacy (catholicism) but, now I learnt from several authors one can be -and indeed, many are- anti-s*x and celibate and an atheist. Anti-natalism is about life=suffering, but I still oppose any and all forms of contraception. I think human meddling into animal breeding is a cosmic monstrosity and see ecological damage by capitalism (and also communism, soviet retards polluted half the world with really nasty shit) as unforgivable and atrociously heinous. Misanthropy and the fact of my own mortality also hold their dark, trapping fascination upon me.
NOW: As I said, Im having more and more, and more intense, lucid dreaming\OBE\ astral experiences–I believe the Empty World (an exact copy of the 2024 planet with no animals ,or humans) exists and want to go there. My main idea until now was to go as a kind of holiday ,or to perform christian religious exercises, pilgrimages, intense asceticism, etc. Now I still may be ascetic (non-masochistic, tho) but want to never return here. and die there. It pains me to a horrible, horribly intense level that my parents won't ever see me again\ I won't see them or family ever again.
need 2 share musings
I need to share a set of deeply\tightly connected musings: atheism, antis*x+antinatalism, and "reality shifting", misanthropist and mortality\dying.Im a STRONG believer in "reality shifting" -not the shiftok version but the Monroe\ Transposing \Bashar\ Neville \Zeland "schools". I know they're NOT the same but they're non-shit-tok z**mers who teach this. I had been (still am?) religious but after reading Paul Almond, and other such authors, now I doubt deeply. My main reason to be religious\ pro-christianity was its huge emphasis on celibacy (catholicism) but, now I learnt from several authors one can be -and indeed, many are- anti-s*x and celibate and an atheist. Anti-natalism is about life=suffering, but I still oppose any and all forms of contraception. I think human meddling into animal breeding is a cosmic monstrosity and see ecological damage by capitalism (and also communism, soviet retards polluted half the world with really nasty shit) as unforgivable and atrociously heinous. Misanthropy and the fact of my own mortality also hold their dark, trapping fascination upon me.
NOW: As I said, Im having more and more, and more intense, lucid dreaming\OBE\ astral experiences–I believe the Empty World (an exact copy of the 2024 planet with no animals ,or humans) exists and want to go there. My main idea until now was to go as a kind of holiday ,or to perform christian religious exercises, pilgrimages, intense asceticism, etc. Now I still may be ascetic (non-masochistic, tho) but want to never return here. and die there. It pains me to a horrible, horribly intense level that my parents won't ever see me again\ I won't see them or family ever again.
R: 65 / I: 8
Isn't the mere existence of consciousness something that should terrify us? Consider these points:
a) Consciousness exists, and it can arise out of nowhere.
b) Your consciousness emerged once, whether by random chance or some other process (the exact process doesn't matter). This suggests that it could happen again in the future—or perhaps it has already happened in the past. You have no way of knowing if this is the only time (in this life) you’ve experienced subjective awareness.
c) There is no overseer of the universe ensuring moral order (as evidenced by events like the japanese experiments during ww2).
From these premises, we can infer that an indifferent or possibly random force (like the universe) can cause conscious beings to experience feelings, including profound suffering. History shows that most lives, up until now, have been filled with suffering—perhaps even more suffering than pleasure. People have constantly struggled with survival, worrying about their next meal, staying alive, or keeping warm.
This presents a disturbing reality: life is a forced subjective experience, one that can involve terrible feelings. The option to escape, whether through sleep or suicide, can easily be taken away, and it doesn’t take extreme thought experiments to see how. Someone would only need to restrain you, for instance.
In conclusion, consciousness is frightening. I would even go as far as to call it a nightmare.
Moreover, there’s no current scientific explanation for consciousness, but early theories suggest it may be a fundamental aspect of the universe, akin to gravity or other forces. This could mean that either we are all fragments of a single, universal consciousness or that each of us is a separate consciousness among an infinite number of others. Either scenario implies that we could be trapped in this reality for as long as it exists—possibly for eternity.
Isn't the mere existence of consciousness something that should terrify us? Consider these points:
a) Consciousness exists, and it can arise out of nowhere.
b) Your consciousness emerged once, whether by random chance or some other process (the exact process doesn't matter). This suggests that it could happen again in the future—or perhaps it has already happened in the past. You have no way of knowing if this is the only time (in this life) you’ve experienced subjective awareness.
c) There is no overseer of the universe ensuring moral order (as evidenced by events like the japanese experiments during ww2).
From these premises, we can infer that an indifferent or possibly random force (like the universe) can cause conscious beings to experience feelings, including profound suffering. History shows that most lives, up until now, have been filled with suffering—perhaps even more suffering than pleasure. People have constantly struggled with survival, worrying about their next meal, staying alive, or keeping warm.
This presents a disturbing reality: life is a forced subjective experience, one that can involve terrible feelings. The option to escape, whether through sleep or suicide, can easily be taken away, and it doesn’t take extreme thought experiments to see how. Someone would only need to restrain you, for instance.
In conclusion, consciousness is frightening. I would even go as far as to call it a nightmare.
Moreover, there’s no current scientific explanation for consciousness, but early theories suggest it may be a fundamental aspect of the universe, akin to gravity or other forces. This could mean that either we are all fragments of a single, universal consciousness or that each of us is a separate consciousness among an infinite number of others. Either scenario implies that we could be trapped in this reality for as long as it exists—possibly for eternity.
R: 33 / I: 3
>23
>deformed eyes since childhood
>indian
>dark brown acne ridden skin
>autistic
>only redeeming quality is being 192 cm in height(at least that made me safe from being seen as a punchable pathetic maggot by normies, I would haveprobably roped sooner if I was short.). (Not hating based shortcels, I cannot experience it but understand that there is suffering)
It's been 23 years in this earth without touching succubi bros. When do I get my wizard powers.
>23
>deformed eyes since childhood
>indian
>dark brown acne ridden skin
>autistic
>only redeeming quality is being 192 cm in height(at least that made me safe from being seen as a punchable pathetic maggot by normies, I would haveprobably roped sooner if I was short.). (Not hating based shortcels, I cannot experience it but understand that there is suffering)
It's been 23 years in this earth without touching succubi bros. When do I get my wizard powers.
R: 2 / I: 0
Why does the most merciful god allow the most disgusting cursed species of the earth to burn innocent children alive and tear their bodies apart? I understand that these kids are going to heaven, but isn't this a very difficult test?
Why does the most merciful god allow the most disgusting cursed species of the earth to burn innocent children alive and tear their bodies apart? I understand that these kids are going to heaven, but isn't this a very difficult test?
R: 30 / I: 5
You know, I've been thinking a lot about life and I finally realized something. I finally realized something after so many years of living. When I was 14 or 15, I believed that I would succeed in life, that I would soon become an adult and be able to do something in life. When I was young, I tried to find a job and learn something, but I just hit a wall. By the way, everyone humiliated me at school. Now I'm 26 and I don't want anything from life anymore. I'm literally not interested in succubi or money. I realized that because I couldn't succeed, as I got older, I lost all desire to have or do anything. I finally realized that if everything comes easy to you, you have goals and a desire to do something, and if nothing works out, you just give up. For example, I don't want anything from life anymore, I don't like people, and they don't like me either. Yesterday I overheard my mom and a relative talking on the phone and they said they hate me. You know, no one has ever considered me a person and I'm not a person, in fact I'm a nobody a loser with shitty health no job no goals in life no money and friends I'm a degenerate bastard.
You know, I've been thinking a lot about life and I finally realized something. I finally realized something after so many years of living. When I was 14 or 15, I believed that I would succeed in life, that I would soon become an adult and be able to do something in life. When I was young, I tried to find a job and learn something, but I just hit a wall. By the way, everyone humiliated me at school. Now I'm 26 and I don't want anything from life anymore. I'm literally not interested in succubi or money. I realized that because I couldn't succeed, as I got older, I lost all desire to have or do anything. I finally realized that if everything comes easy to you, you have goals and a desire to do something, and if nothing works out, you just give up. For example, I don't want anything from life anymore, I don't like people, and they don't like me either. Yesterday I overheard my mom and a relative talking on the phone and they said they hate me. You know, no one has ever considered me a person and I'm not a person, in fact I'm a nobody a loser with shitty health no job no goals in life no money and friends I'm a degenerate bastard.
R: 2 / I: 1
Non-functioning sewage, stale water\piss\pools of liquid, decomposed organic matter, etc. or being personally filthy ;dirty, bodily fluids, attached items (metal necklace? ropes? glued-to-skin clothes?)? If this isn't you personally, have you known someone who lived\was like this?
Filth
Does anyone here by choice or by disability, live in FILTHY conditions?I mean to say: beyond those clean-up tv shows and straight Biohazard levels.Non-functioning sewage, stale water\piss\pools of liquid, decomposed organic matter, etc. or being personally filthy ;dirty, bodily fluids, attached items (metal necklace? ropes? glued-to-skin clothes?)? If this isn't you personally, have you known someone who lived\was like this?
R: 15 / I: 0
Hey Wizards!
I would like to discuss my situation with you…. 3 weeks ago I lost my shitty job and now I am a NEET. I'm 22 years old but I'm not considering trying to get into University because I'm low income plus several of my friends just graduated . I would like to be a programmer but I don't have a computer to program.
I post here because I have nowhere else to go, it hurts me that outside of here I can't express myself, if I could just say what I think I would feel free but I will probably end up getting beaten up because I respond in a very aggressive way so I have no choice but to write in this internet memoir and no one will have any fucking idea who wrote it.
Hey Wizards!
I would like to discuss my situation with you…. 3 weeks ago I lost my shitty job and now I am a NEET. I'm 22 years old but I'm not considering trying to get into University because I'm low income plus several of my friends just graduated . I would like to be a programmer but I don't have a computer to program.
I post here because I have nowhere else to go, it hurts me that outside of here I can't express myself, if I could just say what I think I would feel free but I will probably end up getting beaten up because I respond in a very aggressive way so I have no choice but to write in this internet memoir and no one will have any fucking idea who wrote it.
R: 25 / I: 3
The problem is this, I am still a student and the effects of having low T are affecting my studies greatly, risking me going into a negative feedback loop where I feel like it's gonna take a toll on my studies. And thus reduce my likelihood of getting a job. I have managed to start gym after intense fighting with my parents.
But there is only so much I can push them as someone who is dependent upon them. I am sorry to post this here, after few long years, I just burst our crying today when my parents denied me to visit a urologist, while I have no symptoms (apart from slight shrinkage of my testicles), I probably have Varicocele too.
This is more of an SOS post, please if there is someone here who can take me away from my parents please do. Please give me a home, some love, some help to fix myself. I hate my life, I hate constantly being low T. My parents also hate all sorts of medicines, and they are going to freak out if the doctor recommends a surgery for varicocele. I can't get a job in this tough market either. It's truly hellish being a crab in the third world shithole.
Low T is affecting all areas of my life, and there is no redemption in sight, is my entire life going to be like this from this point on?
My existence is hellish.
I am that same Indian guy who made the post about having C-PTSD and living with abusive parents. I have hit a new low, I think I am becoming low T, I check every symptom on the box, having brain fog, constantly fatigue, constantly sleepy, not being able to get it up anymore, no more morning woods, and no erections.The problem is this, I am still a student and the effects of having low T are affecting my studies greatly, risking me going into a negative feedback loop where I feel like it's gonna take a toll on my studies. And thus reduce my likelihood of getting a job. I have managed to start gym after intense fighting with my parents.
But there is only so much I can push them as someone who is dependent upon them. I am sorry to post this here, after few long years, I just burst our crying today when my parents denied me to visit a urologist, while I have no symptoms (apart from slight shrinkage of my testicles), I probably have Varicocele too.
This is more of an SOS post, please if there is someone here who can take me away from my parents please do. Please give me a home, some love, some help to fix myself. I hate my life, I hate constantly being low T. My parents also hate all sorts of medicines, and they are going to freak out if the doctor recommends a surgery for varicocele. I can't get a job in this tough market either. It's truly hellish being a crab in the third world shithole.
Low T is affecting all areas of my life, and there is no redemption in sight, is my entire life going to be like this from this point on?
R: 23 / I: 1
I want to rant about a certain succubus – my 8 year old sister.
She looks hopeless to me. She has extremely bad behavior in general (ten times worse than of a toddler half her age), she's shameless and degenerate (doesn't mind walking around the house in nothing but her underwear just because "it's hot", likes slutty clothes and behaves in slutty ways; doesn't mind talking about gross things such as literal shit, often opens the bathroom's door when others are inside as a "joke", etc), she's spoiled, she's addicted to YouTube and stupid phone "games", and while she behaves like a toddler in some areas at the same time she also displays manipulative and psychopathic evil succubus traits that wouldn't manifest at this age yet, etc.
Although I start my day in the afternoon (since I go to bed closer to dawn), I'm temporarily woken up every day at around 8 or 9 AM which is when she wakes up to go to school, and I always hear my mother screaming at my sister, and my sister also screaming back. Recently I even heard my mother have a breakdown because of her behavior (not the first time it happened).
At her best, she's just noisy and hyperactive and can't shut up and stop bothering others, and if I point that out my parents say that she's "just lively" or "just playing around" or "just a kid". Also they don't let me hit her back if she hits me (because they say it will somehow make her docile and accepting of abuse in the future).
I spent years hoping that as she grows she'll become better behaved, but if anything it looks like she's only degrading, so at this point I realized that she's a genetic failure, and her non-inherent negative traits have been solidified by now (by my parents spoiling her, etc) and are being constantly strengthened and thus should be nearly impossible to reverse. If you deny her anything (like jewtube, mobile "games", etc), she'll start screaming and behaving like a crazed beast (especially bad since I live in an apartment – what are the neighbors led to think when they hear it?), so she can't be "unspoiled" unless she was left in a schizo padded room for a week. By the way, she's not low IQ per se and if anything she seems smarter than average (although she behaves worse than a nigger monkey with 30 IQ), and she has decent looks, and of course, my mother is always complimenting her on those things and boosting her ego.
When she was conceived my mother was close to 40 already, and while that didn't make her retarded or ugly/deformed as I described above, that must've fucked up her brain in other ways resulting in her horrendous personality and behavior. Funnily enough my mother refused to take anxiety meds when she was pregnant with her because she said it would make her "slow" – alas, that would have been much better than her being a hyperactive demon.
I wouldn't say that I had an abusive household or anything like that, but when I was a kid, my mother sometimes beat and insulted me, and today she's constantly apologizing about it to me. But she holds back on this for my sister and just screams at her whenever she doesn't behave well (which of course is multiple times a day). Personally, I think that it would do good for my sister to be beaten and insulted. She really deserves it, and it could straighten her up a little and make her modest and tame. Whatever psychological scars that could leave doesn't compare to the nuisance that she is to others.
I still hope that she'll get a little better in the coming years, but it's a weak hope. And if anything I think that her teenage years is when the demonic flower will blossom – her sexuality will awaken and I can envision that she'll become a completely defiled whore, along with drama related to "relationships", unwanted pregnancies, etc. I should also mention that my mother is "religious" and goes to church every other Sunday with my brother (didn't mention him so far, he's fine, also he's in his early teenage years) and my sister (my father and I used to go too but we lost interest, but I still pretend to vaguely believe in the religion to not cause drama with my mother). It would be good if religion could prevent sexual degeneracy from my sister's part, however my sister doesn't have the good qualities of a Christian at all (she behaves like fucking satan), and if anything she likes to boast about how she believes in God and goes to church unlike my father and me, or whatever. Therefore I doubt that the religion could save her hymen, or at most, she would do the classic "loophole" of avoiding vaginal intercourse for "Christian" virtue signaling while being an anal slut, or whatever.
I ranted a bit, fellow wizzies, but it's really bleak. Do you have any advice or suggestions? Is this situation out of my control, or is there anything that I can do?
I want to rant about a certain succubus – my 8 year old sister.
She looks hopeless to me. She has extremely bad behavior in general (ten times worse than of a toddler half her age), she's shameless and degenerate (doesn't mind walking around the house in nothing but her underwear just because "it's hot", likes slutty clothes and behaves in slutty ways; doesn't mind talking about gross things such as literal shit, often opens the bathroom's door when others are inside as a "joke", etc), she's spoiled, she's addicted to YouTube and stupid phone "games", and while she behaves like a toddler in some areas at the same time she also displays manipulative and psychopathic evil succubus traits that wouldn't manifest at this age yet, etc.
Although I start my day in the afternoon (since I go to bed closer to dawn), I'm temporarily woken up every day at around 8 or 9 AM which is when she wakes up to go to school, and I always hear my mother screaming at my sister, and my sister also screaming back. Recently I even heard my mother have a breakdown because of her behavior (not the first time it happened).
At her best, she's just noisy and hyperactive and can't shut up and stop bothering others, and if I point that out my parents say that she's "just lively" or "just playing around" or "just a kid". Also they don't let me hit her back if she hits me (because they say it will somehow make her docile and accepting of abuse in the future).
I spent years hoping that as she grows she'll become better behaved, but if anything it looks like she's only degrading, so at this point I realized that she's a genetic failure, and her non-inherent negative traits have been solidified by now (by my parents spoiling her, etc) and are being constantly strengthened and thus should be nearly impossible to reverse. If you deny her anything (like jewtube, mobile "games", etc), she'll start screaming and behaving like a crazed beast (especially bad since I live in an apartment – what are the neighbors led to think when they hear it?), so she can't be "unspoiled" unless she was left in a schizo padded room for a week. By the way, she's not low IQ per se and if anything she seems smarter than average (although she behaves worse than a nigger monkey with 30 IQ), and she has decent looks, and of course, my mother is always complimenting her on those things and boosting her ego.
When she was conceived my mother was close to 40 already, and while that didn't make her retarded or ugly/deformed as I described above, that must've fucked up her brain in other ways resulting in her horrendous personality and behavior. Funnily enough my mother refused to take anxiety meds when she was pregnant with her because she said it would make her "slow" – alas, that would have been much better than her being a hyperactive demon.
I wouldn't say that I had an abusive household or anything like that, but when I was a kid, my mother sometimes beat and insulted me, and today she's constantly apologizing about it to me. But she holds back on this for my sister and just screams at her whenever she doesn't behave well (which of course is multiple times a day). Personally, I think that it would do good for my sister to be beaten and insulted. She really deserves it, and it could straighten her up a little and make her modest and tame. Whatever psychological scars that could leave doesn't compare to the nuisance that she is to others.
I still hope that she'll get a little better in the coming years, but it's a weak hope. And if anything I think that her teenage years is when the demonic flower will blossom – her sexuality will awaken and I can envision that she'll become a completely defiled whore, along with drama related to "relationships", unwanted pregnancies, etc. I should also mention that my mother is "religious" and goes to church every other Sunday with my brother (didn't mention him so far, he's fine, also he's in his early teenage years) and my sister (my father and I used to go too but we lost interest, but I still pretend to vaguely believe in the religion to not cause drama with my mother). It would be good if religion could prevent sexual degeneracy from my sister's part, however my sister doesn't have the good qualities of a Christian at all (she behaves like fucking satan), and if anything she likes to boast about how she believes in God and goes to church unlike my father and me, or whatever. Therefore I doubt that the religion could save her hymen, or at most, she would do the classic "loophole" of avoiding vaginal intercourse for "Christian" virtue signaling while being an anal slut, or whatever.
I ranted a bit, fellow wizzies, but it's really bleak. Do you have any advice or suggestions? Is this situation out of my control, or is there anything that I can do?
R: 3 / I: 0
Wiz Genetics to begin with.
Gentlemen, it's completely done for me. At the age of 21, it's done for my cock. It's ruining my fantasy life. I have been so stressed out from work and studying that no longer does my dick feel alive. I can't get an erection using my imagination, for past 4 months I have had no morning wood, even if at this point some miracle was about to happen I would still stay a virgin. And this is despite the fact that I don't have death-grip and haven't watched porn for past 7 months.
R: 4 / I: 1
Pattern Recognition Central
What do you think is their plan with recents studies and articles showcasing the way men are starting to approach succubi less? Besides obviously adding fuel to the fire to the gender war between normalniggers, how far does it go? Is monkeypox involved in all of this? Creating awareness of single men at the same time a sexually transmited disease appears? Set things up to re-establish a lesser version of homophobia to keep an eye on non-compliant normies? What are its intended purposes, and, how long will it take them to finally mention in mainstream media sexual demoralization being the cause of degeneracy altogether? I personally believe they have a long way to go, two years or so before they start to quote current statistics and connect the dots.
R: 6 / I: 0
Real succubi are such fucking disappointments. they don't care about getting choked by a tall guy with broad shoulders. They just wanna get money and attention. Stupid animals.
Real succubi are such fucking disappointments. they don't care about getting choked by a tall guy with broad shoulders. They just wanna get money and attention. Stupid animals.
R: 30 / I: 5
What do you do to stay sane?
How do you cope?
How do you cope with the suffering in this hell called life? Do you drink? Take drugs? Do you have hobbies?What do you do to stay sane?
R: 11 / I: 3
I'm sur there's orher wizzards who got in a bad mood because of jerks who trashtalk them thinking they're superior while in fact they share traits with normalfags.
it make me depressed because they think they're right and they gloat in their own self and illusion
thread for wizards who got hurt by other "wizard"
I hate it when other wizards talk trash to you, it make me feel like shit. there's no way those who talk trash are wizard, this behavior is of normalfags.I'm sur there's orher wizzards who got in a bad mood because of jerks who trashtalk them thinking they're superior while in fact they share traits with normalfags.
it make me depressed because they think they're right and they gloat in their own self and illusion
R: 4 / I: 0
I feel complete apathy towards everything and everyone. everything I used to love so dearly now bores me to death. is this what growing up feels like? there is nothing new in life I feel like I want to experience. I feel like I've done everything I've ever given a shit about. nothing excites me anymore. I'm stuck in an endless mental rut. any other wizzies feel the same? I'm gonna have to start wageslaving soon. I want off this ride
I feel complete apathy towards everything and everyone. everything I used to love so dearly now bores me to death. is this what growing up feels like? there is nothing new in life I feel like I want to experience. I feel like I've done everything I've ever given a shit about. nothing excites me anymore. I'm stuck in an endless mental rut. any other wizzies feel the same? I'm gonna have to start wageslaving soon. I want off this ride
R: 10 / I: 0
Why did I live like an NPC? In the past I kept having moments of clarity where I felt like I woke up and had the choice how I want my life to go only to go back to wasting time online. You don't need foresight to know that if you don't work towards anything nothing happens. I felt FOMO but for what? Inane chatter online that gets forgotten once its done? Video games: challenges made by others that have no impact on real life? Fictional stories that don't teach me anything? I might be depressed but depression won't get better without doing anything. I just don't know how I could have been so weak willed and allowed myself to remain in such a pathetic state. To not see my weakness as something I need to deal with. Now I dug myself into such a deep hole when the economy sucks. And I don't know if I have the time to get out of it anymore.
Why did I live like an NPC? In the past I kept having moments of clarity where I felt like I woke up and had the choice how I want my life to go only to go back to wasting time online. You don't need foresight to know that if you don't work towards anything nothing happens. I felt FOMO but for what? Inane chatter online that gets forgotten once its done? Video games: challenges made by others that have no impact on real life? Fictional stories that don't teach me anything? I might be depressed but depression won't get better without doing anything. I just don't know how I could have been so weak willed and allowed myself to remain in such a pathetic state. To not see my weakness as something I need to deal with. Now I dug myself into such a deep hole when the economy sucks. And I don't know if I have the time to get out of it anymore.
R: 10 / I: 0
There's nothing to do but wait for the day to end. I can't relate to anyone on anything. I don't feel like I'm alive. It's all just a nightmare that won't stop.
There's nothing to do but wait for the day to end. I can't relate to anyone on anything. I don't feel like I'm alive. It's all just a nightmare that won't stop.
R: 1 / I: 0
Dentures
I'm in my 30s and I gotta get dentures. Anyone else with fucked teeth? How to you cope manage? R: 27 / I: 1
I hate myself a lot and everything I am genetically. I make everything bad for those I care about. I don't want to exist but whenever I think about suicide I either think about making some people sad or making people that dislike me and bullied me happy. I don't want to give them that satisfaction. I just want to die though because I wasn't meant to exist. So how can I simply do it even if this means that it hurts some people and gives pleasure to the people that hurt me? They already made fun of one guy that did it
I hate myself a lot and everything I am genetically. I make everything bad for those I care about. I don't want to exist but whenever I think about suicide I either think about making some people sad or making people that dislike me and bullied me happy. I don't want to give them that satisfaction. I just want to die though because I wasn't meant to exist. So how can I simply do it even if this means that it hurts some people and gives pleasure to the people that hurt me? They already made fun of one guy that did it
R: 3 / I: 1
It's one thing to have fun and society to think you wasted time but another when I didn't even enjoy it. Like watching youtube reviews of stuff I can't afford or about video games I never played. Browsing imageboards when it's clear there won't be any interesting new threads. Playing a video game I hate and don't care enough to put effort into improving in and still get mad if I do badly…
I am so bored existing like this. I barely feel human. I want to dive deep into subjects and do stuff but I can't stop wasting every day. I tried to read a book and after a page quickly went back to wasting my time again. Tried an online course and for every sentence I read I have to browse for 10 minutes. It's so pathetic.
How do I fix my brain?
I wasted the last years consuming content I don't even care about.It's one thing to have fun and society to think you wasted time but another when I didn't even enjoy it. Like watching youtube reviews of stuff I can't afford or about video games I never played. Browsing imageboards when it's clear there won't be any interesting new threads. Playing a video game I hate and don't care enough to put effort into improving in and still get mad if I do badly…
I am so bored existing like this. I barely feel human. I want to dive deep into subjects and do stuff but I can't stop wasting every day. I tried to read a book and after a page quickly went back to wasting my time again. Tried an online course and for every sentence I read I have to browse for 10 minutes. It's so pathetic.
R: 5 / I: 1
where is the mercy
where is the mercy
R: 2 / I: 0
How do I come back from that? I never make friends with people because I bore them to death because I don't have any friends or stories to tell them about my experiences living life with my friends like a normal person because I'm not a normal person, I am a recluse. I see others chatting so effortlessly with strangers and joking and making them laugh but I can barely just get through interactions with others I can't even think of what I would say to make them laugh. Nothing interesting has happened to me lately, or like in the past decade at least. I have no deep area of passion that I can talk about. I have nothing to show for my time spent as a recluse. I didn't study some languages or learn the law or how to code. I don't even have deep interest in video games or music or stuff like that because I have been depressed for so long. None of that shit can hold my interest. I am empty. There's no coming back from this right?
Got a little too good at isolating myself, now I feel like there is no return
When I was a child in school I intentionally made myself as uninteresting as possible because I wanted to reduce the amount of social interactions I would have to get through with others. It worked wonderfully, a little too wonderfully. I now sit here as a fully grown adult and I am completely empty. Completely uninteresting, dull, lacking in experiences, interests, hobbies, or genuine emotional reactions to things. I don't even know how to have fun. I literally don't know how.How do I come back from that? I never make friends with people because I bore them to death because I don't have any friends or stories to tell them about my experiences living life with my friends like a normal person because I'm not a normal person, I am a recluse. I see others chatting so effortlessly with strangers and joking and making them laugh but I can barely just get through interactions with others I can't even think of what I would say to make them laugh. Nothing interesting has happened to me lately, or like in the past decade at least. I have no deep area of passion that I can talk about. I have nothing to show for my time spent as a recluse. I didn't study some languages or learn the law or how to code. I don't even have deep interest in video games or music or stuff like that because I have been depressed for so long. None of that shit can hold my interest. I am empty. There's no coming back from this right?
R: 10 / I: 0
More and more, I find myself only playing console emulation, games that were created in the 80s and 90s. It's not just nostalgia, these games genuinely feel more fun.
No microtransactions, no trying to shove in-app purchases down your throat, no download expansions, just the whole game for you to finish whenever you feel like finishing it.
Music-wise, I find myself listening to stuff that was made pre-90s. I get a headache if I listen to radio stuff made in 2024.
Deepening sadness at the current state of affairs
Has anyone elses depression progressed to the point it's nearly impossible to enjoy anything created recently?More and more, I find myself only playing console emulation, games that were created in the 80s and 90s. It's not just nostalgia, these games genuinely feel more fun.
No microtransactions, no trying to shove in-app purchases down your throat, no download expansions, just the whole game for you to finish whenever you feel like finishing it.
Music-wise, I find myself listening to stuff that was made pre-90s. I get a headache if I listen to radio stuff made in 2024.
R: 0 / I: 0
What's it like to be an Asian Wiz in the west? In places like San Francisco and others.
What's it like to be an Asian Wiz in the west? In places like San Francisco and others.
R: 3 / I: 0
It's a peaceful life waking up knowing that your happiness does not rely on someone (pets are exception)
Why do yall want a relationship?
So I turned 20 recently and for already 6 years I'm confident that you don't need a relationship or a gf to live a happy life. I won't deny that I wanted a gf at some point, but I was kid and stupid (like 11-13 y/o. Now I *want* to be alone until I die. And before saying anything consider the following: no relationship means no one will cheat on you, no one will break up with you, you don't have to spent shit ton of money on a succubus, you don't have to raise kids, which means even more money saved. And if you're feeling lonely, get yourself a pet.It's a peaceful life waking up knowing that your happiness does not rely on someone (pets are exception)
R: 4 / I: 0
what is the best method
what is the best method
R: 2 / I: 0
All that's left is music, a few good books, and copious quantities of spirits to keep me company till this charade is really exhausted of all it's juice and there's no course left but to put an end to it once and for fucking all.
I honestly have no excuse or aid to talk someone (let alone myself) off the ledge. Under rational circumstances, suicide is a perfectly reasonable and justified action/reaction to life. There's no real argument against it, just excuses, distractions to post-pone it. But excuses run dry and then what.
Then it's gone.
Let's hope they last long enough that nature will take it's course and do the dirty work for me. Spare the few idiots around me yet another cause of undue and irrational grief while still giving me the relief I'm lookin for.
The Road is Long and Dark
Good fuck anons its been so long. Its been so many fucked up years of pretending and lying, trying to be fucked up false versions of my self to get by only to come back, to end up here again, wasted and posting on a dying imageboard of likeminded misanthropist, deadbeats because they're the only people I've ever really honestly related to. What a fuck. What an absolute fuck life is and fuck into the bleakest hell everlasting.All that's left is music, a few good books, and copious quantities of spirits to keep me company till this charade is really exhausted of all it's juice and there's no course left but to put an end to it once and for fucking all.
I honestly have no excuse or aid to talk someone (let alone myself) off the ledge. Under rational circumstances, suicide is a perfectly reasonable and justified action/reaction to life. There's no real argument against it, just excuses, distractions to post-pone it. But excuses run dry and then what.
Then it's gone.
Let's hope they last long enough that nature will take it's course and do the dirty work for me. Spare the few idiots around me yet another cause of undue and irrational grief while still giving me the relief I'm lookin for.
R: 10 / I: 3
I have nothing to look forward too.
People need projects and things to look forward. I have nothing.
I have nothing to look forward too.
People need projects and things to look forward. I have nothing.
R: 60 / I: 5
Going outside has not improved my health but only worsen it, it has done the opposite effect, it makes me feel more worthless, more worse overall, a complete abomination, it reminds me of what I look like which is the opposite of what I'm trying to achieve. If you're an ugly midget subhuman like me then don't go outside and if you have to then try to limit it as much as possible because other people will remind you of your own flaws.
For ugly midgets like me, I think it's better to stay home and play video games. Don't go outside unless you have to. Make sure all of your hobbies are in solitude, experience surreal dimensions through novels, animes and video games. Outdoor hobbies can be selectively chosen, ones that don't include many people, walk through national parks in those isolating tracks because not much people are there, it's a great cope to view nature as a wiz. If you have the privilege, then work remote or at least hybrid, if you can't do this then get into a field of work that requires a limited interaction of others, if you are even more privileged then NEET but I would not suggest this as its damaging to your health in the long run.
There's no point going to malls, restaurants or visiting popular tourist sites like the Eiffel tower, it is super damaging to your brain being in places surrounded by normalfags. Just watch the YouTube video of it or visit the Minecraft version.
it's better to stay at home in your room
Back in High School I tried to cope with doing hobbies outside, to participate in normalfag activities because I wanted to at least give the bluepilled advice a go, I knew in the back of my mind it would not work and to nobody's surprise, the expectations are exactly what occurred, it resulted in nothing but utter humiliation. I played for a football academy back in High School and whilst I was decent at it I was treated poorly by my teammates, did not make a single friend there even though I contributed a lot to the stats of the team, we even made it very far into the tournament, after that incident I was discouraged to make friends because no matter how much meritocratic value is under your hands you are worthless to everyone, unless you're a prodigy your efforts are worthless.Going outside has not improved my health but only worsen it, it has done the opposite effect, it makes me feel more worthless, more worse overall, a complete abomination, it reminds me of what I look like which is the opposite of what I'm trying to achieve. If you're an ugly midget subhuman like me then don't go outside and if you have to then try to limit it as much as possible because other people will remind you of your own flaws.
For ugly midgets like me, I think it's better to stay home and play video games. Don't go outside unless you have to. Make sure all of your hobbies are in solitude, experience surreal dimensions through novels, animes and video games. Outdoor hobbies can be selectively chosen, ones that don't include many people, walk through national parks in those isolating tracks because not much people are there, it's a great cope to view nature as a wiz. If you have the privilege, then work remote or at least hybrid, if you can't do this then get into a field of work that requires a limited interaction of others, if you are even more privileged then NEET but I would not suggest this as its damaging to your health in the long run.
There's no point going to malls, restaurants or visiting popular tourist sites like the Eiffel tower, it is super damaging to your brain being in places surrounded by normalfags. Just watch the YouTube video of it or visit the Minecraft version.
R: 8 / I: 0
Years of isolation made me lose the ability to socialize like a normal human being
I personally don't crave socialization, but my body does, because I'm human and humans are social beings
Years of isolation made me lose the ability to socialize like a normal human being
I personally don't crave socialization, but my body does, because I'm human and humans are social beings
R: 10 / I: 1
god doesnt let us enter the paradise without suffering
I don't want to suffer. I don't want to suffer in the hereafter either. I just want peace. but god doesn't care about what we want. we will suffer anyway. maybe we will suffer only in this world or maybe for the rest of the eternity. there is no escape from suffering. this is so brutal. where is the mercy and love?
god doesnt let us enter the paradise without suffering
I don't want to suffer. I don't want to suffer in the hereafter either. I just want peace. but god doesn't care about what we want. we will suffer anyway. maybe we will suffer only in this world or maybe for the rest of the eternity. there is no escape from suffering. this is so brutal. where is the mercy and love?
R: 15 / I: 4
>can enter all Temples of Dharma ;ram, shiva, ganesha, vishnu etc
>legal permit to smoke Hash ,even dature seeds or opium, etc 24\7
>legal permit to go naked
>they don't work -just beg-
>know ancient martial arts, even weapon based ones such as sword, trident, maze etc. Partake in intense grappling, and stick fighting, matches
>untrimmed beard and dreadlocks, some dreaded hair-masses reach meters of length.
>just sleep on the side of the road, or temple shrine, or river side. no ta*es, no house own*rship or any other bureaucratic LSC bulls*
>can hang out with hundreds of ashram cows (cows are much more cooler than humans), never have to bathe ,legally dead as per Indian State registers also. can walk 100s of KM per month and just go chill in a cave system in the himalayas for a couple ov decades
kings of anti-work\ anti-Money life
are Brahmin-caste Naga Sadhus the gigagest chads on the Planet?>can enter all Temples of Dharma ;ram, shiva, ganesha, vishnu etc
>legal permit to smoke Hash ,even dature seeds or opium, etc 24\7
>legal permit to go naked
>they don't work -just beg-
>know ancient martial arts, even weapon based ones such as sword, trident, maze etc. Partake in intense grappling, and stick fighting, matches
>untrimmed beard and dreadlocks, some dreaded hair-masses reach meters of length.
>just sleep on the side of the road, or temple shrine, or river side. no ta*es, no house own*rship or any other bureaucratic LSC bulls*
>can hang out with hundreds of ashram cows (cows are much more cooler than humans), never have to bathe ,legally dead as per Indian State registers also. can walk 100s of KM per month and just go chill in a cave system in the himalayas for a couple ov decades
R: 4 / I: 0
Are you afraid of a situation where people assume that you are following them when you happen to walk in the same direction? I know I am.
Are you afraid of a situation where people assume that you are following them when you happen to walk in the same direction? I know I am.
R: 35 / I: 2
I started this when I was 16, it was supposed to be a 5 year plan, investing, and saving everything. Now that time has passed and I have 3 months to go before turning 22, I was unable to achieve my goals. I only got a third of the way to achieve them due to my indiscipline. I have the ability and the means to be a great businessman, but the determination and discipline of a child.
The sad part is that you realize that the most important capital is not in the land, money or a vehicle, a man's most important capital is his knowledge, something I don't have, living in agonizing ignorance. There really is no better feeling than coming home with a wad of cash, and seeing your entire house slowly fill up with boxes and more boxes. When you see what you have built, And even though in reality everything remains the same, there is a really nice feeling of growth.
title
I wasted my youth locked up, and with the screen as the only company. it's not something I wanted or chose, but that's how things were. I knew I could never make up for lost time, and I thought that by sorting out my financial life and earning a lifetime income at an early age, I could achieve freedom and live once and for all.I started this when I was 16, it was supposed to be a 5 year plan, investing, and saving everything. Now that time has passed and I have 3 months to go before turning 22, I was unable to achieve my goals. I only got a third of the way to achieve them due to my indiscipline. I have the ability and the means to be a great businessman, but the determination and discipline of a child.
The sad part is that you realize that the most important capital is not in the land, money or a vehicle, a man's most important capital is his knowledge, something I don't have, living in agonizing ignorance. There really is no better feeling than coming home with a wad of cash, and seeing your entire house slowly fill up with boxes and more boxes. When you see what you have built, And even though in reality everything remains the same, there is a really nice feeling of growth.
R: 17 / I: 16
some will remember the last oekaki threads 2-3 years ago made by me, here's a new one haha
oekaki therapy
If you're feeling unhappy or down or depressed, come to this thread and draw an oekakisome will remember the last oekaki threads 2-3 years ago made by me, here's a new one haha