Depression Crawl Thread LPost here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
How do Normies manage it??Recently i've been playing a lot of dating sims and it showed me how apathetic i am about human relations, i'm so distant and incompatible with other people worldview (especially succubis), how do others Sub 8 at my age have so many friends and already had engaged in multiple relationships?
Depressed wizards, how's your average day like this early 2023?What's your average day like?
What are we supposed to do in life?Lately I've been lying in bed for hours with my eyes closed after waking up. I just don't know what to do. Nothing excites me anymore. I just don't have the energy to live anymore. I asked my psychiatrist for Ritalin but she wouldn't prescribe it to me. I simply don't enjoy anything anymore.
Innately UselessI’ve always been bad at everything. I always worked the slowest and still managed to make it shitty. When I’m given the simplest assignment conceivable I draw a blank and have to ask for help. I’m astonishingly error prone. I make an obvious mistake and then immediately understand what I did wrong, but that never prevents the next one.
Boredom/tedium/anhedoniaI made this thread before and I'm making it again.
Drug abuse & Alcoholism General #1A good portion of us are drug addicts and alcoholics. But no one talks about that. We know our habit is a big portion of our life, but we never talk about that here.
SuicideYes, another suicide thread.
I want to die but don't know howI'm too scared. Just the thought of it makes me feel fear. I'm scared of dying AND death. I'm afraid of dying painfully. And I'm also afraid of death itself. The thought of non-existence and not being able to think is incomprehensible and scary to me.
Euthanasia from oppressors - strugglingMy mum announced that she wants to euthanize after my 30th before Christmas. It was unthinkable and toxic. I suspect she does want to rape. I have an uncle out of prison that is on meth. I have never been anything but a suicidal threat to myself until recently when I had a leucotomy and got clean for me from the stuff. Now, she cannot stop with the genocide of my cortex and children. Ever. The royals euthanasia scandal on NBC was perpetrated by us and is neatly swept under a rug, though aggression, rape and unwanted marriage continues with a suspension on repeat sections. CMH is trying to euthanize too, at 32. They're genocidal, the lot. I lament her continued vestment in aggressive action in harmful interests. I lament continued media coverage. She used to 5150 and have me raped by her in psychiatric hold. Now she fosters no sexual interest - and they want me dead instead. I need help that only the president can offer. To think that I was married thrice unjustly and tortured by the euthanist in Kalamazoo rectifies my means to freedom and life. I sit and frown at the unwanted discourse. I feel - it is them driving me to my alcoholism. A bunch of dastardly addicts that inhibit continuation of my constitutionally protected rights for personal ease. I hate people and need to shut them out, I get so sick and vomit at refusal of decency that I'll charge. Fuck normalfags.
Started caring about money with age?I feel like I trolled myself.
In this thread we are going to look for the cure for depressionI have no proof or medical studies to show that this is the case, but I also have no doubts. I believe that to get out of depression, tiredness, fatigue and all that shit, you first have to work your body, since a healthy body is a healthy mind, for that it is good to do sports, whatever it is. it is as long as it keeps our body busy. Another important factor is studying, it doesn't really matter what, it doesn't matter if it's for university, school or for yourself, you have to do it to keep your mind occupied with something productive. I would also say that looking for a job, or generating income with a startup, as this will keep our mind and body busy, while giving us money, in itself gives us a reason to keep going, especially when you are working on something of your own.
Regrets over wasting life on useless Ch*mistry degree or any useless degree for that matterI wish I studied STEM or IT instead, There's simply no jobs anymore for chemists out there. Take a look around, most people that call themselves 'chemists' haven't been able to hold on to a job for longer than 5-8 years. In fact, I bet most of the people I run into in the chemical industry have had 3, 4, or more jobs within the past decade. How can one ever expect to buy a house or be able to save for health insurance with that kind of job insecurity? The only thing this worthless degree in chemistry has gotten me are permatemp jobs with no benefits for $18/hr. I regret every single day of my life wasting time and money on this worthless chemistry degree. At this rate, it'll only take me the next 25 years between temp job after temp job to payoff all these student loans. I've done job search after job search and the only jobs out there are for A.)temps and B.) terribly mundane, boring, and low paying QC or method development work. There's a reason why there are so many listings for quality control/analysis/method development work–it's because people hate doing it and quit not long after starting which forces companies to constantly rehire.
Natural born passivness and lack of assertivness?I turned 28 years old this year. And feels hit me.
Any Canadians going to MAID themselves next march?Im thinking about it, dont have much to look forward too in this life. I work for no future, no friends, will never be in a relationship because im fucked in the head and look like a bridge troll. Whats there to stop me from maiding myself honestly?
Just came back to wizchan after a few yearsThe difference Ive noticed is that there are a ton of moralfags trying to push people into therapy or convince people not to go through with it. it gives me a fake feeling like they have an ulterior evil motive. you really cant even talk on wizchan without the demons crawling around lurking and watching and waiting to attack
Feeling tired all the timeI feel tired at all times, my limbs feel like lead weights, and just walking 10 feet to the bathroom causes tachycardia. I am not fat and eat quite healthy, I've also tried avoid caffeine and stuff like that but it doesn't even matter. Am I the only person suffering from this? This condition makes me depressed, I want to do things but I physically can't enjoy doing anything that requires me to stand or even just sit up, so I just lay in bed all day
Does anyone else suffer from this?Its like whenever I begin to enjoy something it just instantly goes away, like I can enjoy a book or a movie but as soon as I become conscious of it my brain zaps it away, it has started becoming worse…
It just won't stopThis thread probably had been made over a million times on the internet and I suppose now is my turn. It'll be very long so if you don't want to read I'd understand. I will probably try another board if I don't get any answer so don't be surprised if you see my story somewhere else in the following months. I've lurked around here for about 3 years now and I feel like there's a chance I could get an answer here. Still I doubt I will find a definitive answer here, or at all. I guess I'm desperate.
Depression from trauma?Anyone else get this? I'm depressed because of traumatic things happening to me in the past; I'm still the same scared little boy inside despite my attempts to prove to myself otherwise. I've heard of depression being described as "aggression turned inward" and I identify with that. I just wish I wasn't so angry at myself for getting bullied that I refuse to do anything to help myself because "what's the point?" I already got bullied anyway and I'm a husk of who I used to be much less, who I could be".
THINGS HIT HARDSo, it's second of January 2023, and I'm 28 years old, soon to be 29, and I'm starting to wonder why, I don't know if it's the closing of my 20s that finally start to sinking in, a lot of dumb decision, wrong ideas and overall stupid behavior in my part since I was a little kid. I'm a NEET right now, but thing are coming to a close to me, parents are pushing me to do something about it, but I don't want to spent my years as wageslave, I truly don't know, and I'm full of regrets about things, I'm starting planning to rope myself at my 29th birthday, it wasn't a bad life, but not great either, wish I was born different like the normal guys that I saw when I grow up and in college, they seems to work through thing with such effortless, and I struggle a lot of emotional things, my mother is bipolar and I have a uncle that suffer from mental illness too, maybe I do have a mental illness, don't know, just want peace of mind and spirit, life is struggle mentally and emotionally for me, even though I have a comfortable life, and I do acknowledge that a lot of dumb shit that happen to me was my fault. I truly don't know, I wish to finally have a understand of why I have that life I have and why I'm the way that I'm.
SuicideI live with my parents and they are npcs, the only good part is that in a box they have plenty of meds, like nolotil. I am planning write a suicide note and then swallow all the meds and hang myself, if hanging doesnt does it, the meds will. Also, before of the idea of the hanging i had the idea to burn myself, put the lighter in my chest and wait to reach the heart and burn it. Who is the best idea? I heared that with hanging you can stay 45 min waiting to death
Doing literally nothing all dayI spent the last years doing practically nothing all day. Usually when people say they are unproductive they mean watching tv shows, playing video games or partying. But in my case I am literally just wasting the most precious resource, time. I can't even remember what I was doing years ago. I think I was mostly browsing imageboards reading about topics I didn't even know nothing about like cars. I would read about cars when I have no license, a fear of driving and no money for one anyways. I kept reading surface level information about a topic that lead me nowhere. Like why am I watching a buyers guide video for a car when I can't even afford one? Or I read and watched reviews of retro games but never played any when that was something in reach thanks to emulation. Then I also played the same online trading card game while browsing imageboards or watching random youtube videos or rewatching a tv show for the nth time. Once I got a decent computer I also spent most of the time playing the same online fps but very badly since I only played it to pass the time so I never put in the effort to improve and I also played alone with no mic so I never improved on the strategy aspect either. Two years ago I also discovered twitch streams which makes it easy to have always something to watch without having to constantly look for new youtube videos or tv shows.
prepping for no healtcareHealthcare is in a global collapse. and more to the point;in a national collapse for me in here. Private one is a rich thing,I CAN afford it,but why should I HAVE to make such a significant sacrifice for it?
getting my shit togetherIm literally mentally handicapped so Im stuck living with parents for a while(pls fuck paying rent)
sleep dep. for 72 hours every 2 weeksI decided I will pull off a "fast from sleep" of 72 hours,every 2 weeks. Every 2 weeks, I wont sleep for 3- days,then probably take 2 days of 10-hour sleep, and then resume my 4 hour a day sleep schedule.
Depression Crawl Thread XLIXPost here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.
ViolenceI've been violent for as long as I can remember, hitting, and breaking things every time I got angry. I grew up in a very violent environment, I'm not trying to justify myself, but it's ugly to know that over time one imitates that kind of behavior. Over time I became more authoritarian, and more violent, so I tried to make the arguments not affect me so much, so I went to a psychiatrist, in short, now I am taking an antiepileptic, and two antidepressant drugs.
Another new year of the same old shitJust seen the new year in but struggling to see much point in carrying on
My memory is getting bad. I’m blanking outAlmost gotten into car wrecks at least 3 times this past month, twice I was turning right and was positive there was no one coming.
im not gay but im becoming a chickenhackAnd he (may Allaah have mercy on him) also said:
Accelerationism / Ecosystem Collapse1.) Use https://www.websitecarbon.com/ to find some of the worst-designed websites on the internet with the highest carbon footprint per visitor.
Parental deathWizards whose parents have died: what happened? What do you do when they die? Any advice?
sage itI am starting to accept and consider I could have schizophrenia. I already have Clinical Depression (severe and recurrent, not the episodic one) and severe BPD.
dying from health problemsI'm 28, when I was 16 I got into amphetamines and I've pretty much completely fried my brain. I managed to quit everything but the damage still remains. My body and mind are totally ruined. I'm a shell of my former self. I can't even enjoy rotting in my room all day, nothing is pleasurable, everything tastes like cardboard. I'm losing my hair and my dick doesn't work anymore. I have diabetes, chronic fatigue, impotency, severe depression, anhedonia and chronic pain in my neck and lower back. I think In a year I'll probably be bed ridden.
"The problem is with you, anon"After being rejected overwhelmingly in several situation thru life, I cannot still understand the real motive, and thinking objectively cannot reach any other conclusion than it being due how stupid normals are. I usted to feel a shame that got vanished thru years yet I feel still that some of it remains in the deep zones of my mind… The toxic idea of "the problem being yours, anon" brought by peer pressure only gets you wrecked while normgroids are just being psychotically mean. Like pulling through my mind an idea like a stab, as if attempting to make me even more miserable while the numbers against me are an undeniable proof of me being… whatever I be, which they see and I don't. Blaming me for their malignity, for the sake of killing my already lowered spirit.
I still long for a friendI know it's something to be ashamed of, but I always held friendship in high regard. To have a true friend is to have a soulmate no succubus could ever compete with. And I had people I connected with, and thought of them as friends, but they always neglect and betray our friendship in the end. Forget the girlfriends, one could live a happy life without sex if only he'd have a true friend.
is my personal philosophy destroying my life?I have the philosophy that for an act to have moral merit,the opposite deed must be realistically attainable.
Vent ThreadIts kind of difficult these days, living is naturally a pain unless you are ignorant?
EnergyHow do most people manage to do so much in day, it would take me a week at best to do a fraction of what they can do.
How can you waste so much time?How is it possible to be so aware of your problems and still not do anything about it?
Is suicide the best answerWhat is holding me back is I am religious person.
My life is hell, I broke my hearing3 months a go I went to a loud festival and my ears got damaged. At first I didn't think much of it, some really loud sounds were uncomfortable, like alarms, but I was living my normal life.
Have you made plans for your suicide yet?I have always been certain that I am a future suicide statistic. If I reach the life expectancy I will have almost 60 years left, and I think that is way too much. I don't want to keep living in this world of unbearable suffering if I can find peace in death.
What do you find meaningful in life?Are the effort to being alive worth it - all the pain and suffering? Once in awhile there might be joy and happiness… In the end we live and we die without not much more to it. One could argue that learning, art, love, or money is the true purpose - ones meaning of life?
demiurgic trader/getting rid of Allto truly die,I must die IN the life.I will please myself all I want for a few months now;doramas,webnovels,animes and comics. I will marathon,vidya all night,days in a row etc. and THEN I will un-become. it will be incredibly painful,brutal, destruction of the Self.
Wizard mental health confessionsWhat's your most severe symptom? Sum it up without writing a big wall of text.
Fapped to oblivion - help?This situation causes me a lot of depression. Wonder if anyone here has experienced the same and can help.
shouting into the void wondering if anyone relatesTo start with, I hate everyone, and I hate everything excluding fictional characters and fictional settings.
Pessimism as a sign of high vitalityDo you think Nietzsche was right about this? I think there may be something to it. Normals are so fragile, especially succubi, they refuse to even consider bad scenarios and how horrible existence can be at times. It takes courage to contemplate negative thoughts and emotions. Pessimism is a sign of high vitality, of a brave spirit, of an ascetic soul who doesn't think feeling good all the time is necessarily desirable.
"theoretical" depression thread/cosmiic nihilismthread for discussing more Theory than Practice. terror management theory(TMT), Psycho-history(loyd demausse),cosmicism etc