/dep/ - Depression★

Will probably delete this but had a terrible week (not that I'm not used to it by now) but I was asked to take care of a cat for someone down the street and the first week everything went fine. I fed it emptied the litter box but one night I accidentally left the garage door it used to get in and out too high and noticed something else got in. Since then I haven't seen the cat but last night (almost 2 weeks after) I found the poor things body underneath where he sleeps. I had only gone over twice in about a week and a half due to a cop giving me a speeding ticket for going 7 over the speed limit and my boss at work saying I had to meet for disciplinary action but refusing to say why other than my "behavior". I feel so bad that I killed someones pet and don't know what to do. I had also just planned my first vacation ever after over a decade of wage slaving but I can't take it now because I would be staying with the persons pet I killed for 2 weeks. I was honestly having a hard time not wanting to kill myself as it is and now I just don't know what to do. Cats have been one of the few things that have ever been nice to me and I killed one being irresponsible and preoccupied with my own problems, I feel so bad having killed someones pet kitty.