/dep/ - Personal suicide diary - final notes. 2 weeks to die 28 reasons

Email	Spoiler Image
Comment
File
Embed
Password	(For file deletion.)

Personal suicide diary - final notes. 2 weeks to die 28 reasons Anonymage 12/17/24 (Tue) 23:04:13 No.296764

Last time I mentioned that I have 2 weeks to kms someone asked if I have a test or something in school. Let me tell you something interesting. I won't talk about my life story but I will enlighten you how bad life can get and what real suicide out of necessity means.
I will tell you only the immediate reasons of my forced suicide:
1. Sick with infinite diseases and often in such pain that I want to stab myself or jump out the window. Can't eat walk make money or function for years due to this. Feel like I can die at any moment. I've been shitting black last few days which means internal bleeding.
2. I am broke and in infinite debt cause I chose to pursue treatment instead of paying taxes. I also lied to get money loaned to me because I needed it for drugs so I don't end up lobotomized. Its only a matter of time until they put me in prison.
3. I have a benzo addiction, if I don't take at least 10mg Xanax daily and skip one day I will have a grand mal seizure which will kill me or leave me with brain damage.
4. Stuck forever without a room or meter of space my whole life due to mentally retarded family.
…etc I probably forgot half but by now you should know the drill. Life took almost everything from me and I didn't do anything for a long time so I wouldn't call this living anyway. Only thing I have left is freedom of choice to die now or lose it and suffer a thousand times more and die later. I will die at age of 28 in 2024 via train guillotine or fail and become a vegetable. I have only one try and time is not on my side.

Anonymage 12/17/24 (Tue) 23:15:26 No.296765

>>296764
Firstly, I really hope you get to rest as soon as possible, your post shows how nightmerish everything in your life is, living is not for everyone, it is a well established fact, why did you pick this method? literally just do full suspension hanging, its better in every way than that, especially if its done properly

Anonymage 12/17/24 (Tue) 23:43:41 No.296767

>2 weeks

lol. yeah, it ain't happening. if you can endure 2 more weeks, then you aren't really suffering that bad.

btw. i was the guy that asked if you had a test. that was a month ago. you were saying 2 weeks ago then too. doesn't sound like you're very motivated, just want attention like every other loser.

Anonymage 12/18/24 (Wed) 01:22:12 No.296770

where are you from, fellow human being?

Anonymage 12/18/24 (Wed) 17:39:05 No.296775

File: 1734543545677.pdf (4.59 MB, Peaceful Pill Handbook_ Ge….pdf)

Anonymage 12/23/24 (Mon) 17:21:41 No.296926

Update time
>>296770
Poland
>>296775
thanks, but i doubt it will have much info helping me, i just cant access the 'better methods' and train jumpers aren't even considered i think
of course >>296767 is right i am an attention whore, you will never meet a bigger coward and incompetent loser in your life, the facts still stand

What is it, 9, 8 days left? I don't want to live to 2025 as I said. The burning pain in my legs feels like someone has thrown me in the fire and keeps me there until i chop my own legs off. Then there's my completely broken stomach and teeth. And the fact my mental state has completely collapsed. I can't even think straight anymore, much less do or plan anything. Good thing this doesn't require anything like that. I will take even a 1% chance to die and end this hellish torture over a day of my existence at this point. You don't know how it feels. You can't imagine how bad things can get. I couldn't either. My time has long gone and i'm just here as a torture experiment for some alien deity making me endure undendurable agony for ages. I wish someone killed me. Maybe i should delibaretly go out at night and try to start shit with a knife, if someone beats me up theres always a chance of critical damage, my body is so weak it's barely holding together. But, nothing has changed, and if it did, then for the worse.

Anonymage 12/23/24 (Mon) 17:32:36 No.296927

>>296926
literally who don't you just go by full suspension hanging if you are that desperate?

Anonymage 12/23/24 (Mon) 17:48:01 No.296928

>>296927
what do you mean by 'full suspension hanging'? I already explained that it is not an easy method for someone who is retarded with his hands, has nowhere to do it, etc. I can't do anything at home, and there is no place without people, i'm not gonna go to a random forest try it without even being able to do test runs and hope nobody finds me hanging to end up with brain damage. Also if you mess up the knot even slightly it will be disastrous, though if you won't break out of it at least it will do the job. But like I said, it's far from ideal, i don't know why you like this method so much.

Anonymage 12/23/24 (Mon) 17:52:51 No.296929

>>296764
I'm sorry bro, i pray you get the relief and help you need.

Anonymage 12/24/24 (Tue) 03:18:04 No.296954

>>296764
keep us updated, hopefully you will find peace and rest

Anonymage 12/24/24 (Tue) 07:12:49 No.296958

>>296764
kinda random but by any chance you used to hang in neet/crab/hikikomori discord servers with the alias Johner / JohnOT in the past few years? cause i remember some pole guy that had quite the same problems as you described

Anonymage 12/25/24 (Wed) 00:06:41 No.296985

>>296958
Not me
I developed unbearable tooth pain. They are all broken and one finally gave up it seems. There's no public dentist healthcare so I can't do anything. I also had a quarrel with my parents and I'm going homeless to die within 7 days. Probably won't write more as I do not see the point. Bye.

Anonymage 12/25/24 (Wed) 00:19:11 No.296986

>>296985
Bye, may you perish ASAP.

Anonymage 12/25/24 (Wed) 06:34:46 No.296988

>>296764
Train guillotine sounds extremely risky and painful, I wish you luck, my life is unbearable as well because of many chronic illnesses

Anonymage 12/26/24 (Thu) 02:48:34 No.296999

>>296985
You can always find a dentist. You just have to search around and be patient enough to find one that is competent and willing to help. There are also resources in place to even help those without dental insurance. You have a right to medical care.

Apologize to your parents, or just do whatever you have to do to re-establish healthy relations with them.

You can overcome all of this, I have no doubt. Do not let yourself be overwhelmed by momentary difficulties. Stay rational.

Anonymage 12/26/24 (Thu) 07:42:10 No.297003

Isnt a diary supposed to be daily? come on, just one post/update per day. What did you do on the 25th?

Anonymage 12/26/24 (Thu) 12:15:56 No.297013

>>296999
no i cant. im not from america, nobody gives a fuck around here and they charge thousands per tooth, it takes a fortune to do anything with your teeth. I also told my parents to go fuck themselves and i'm leaving already, i don't need useless trash around me, better to die homeless.
>>297003
not much to report, my head hurt so much i went to sleep. I end up sleeping all the time if i just lie around, i prob already have a brain infection from all these issues. I slept through almost whole day and i can't even stay awake cause i don't see any point if i'm not going outside to kill myself.

Anonymage 12/27/24 (Fri) 19:36:32 No.297061

Rapper OG Maco just died after weeks in a coma after shooting himself in the head. Not sure about the quality of the shooting but it's a problematic method.

Anonymage 12/27/24 (Fri) 19:53:33 No.297062

>>297061
Thank God, another dead rapper.

Anonymage 01/17/25 (Fri) 21:09:51 No.297526

are you here OP?