/dep/ - Depression★

the only thing life is meant to progress towards is death. all the academic, career and relationships milestones are just a way for people to distract themselves from the fact that every day they are getting closer to the grave and none of it matters fuck all. in reality, this common checklists is just a meme complex, a simple collective notion of what an adult should eventually become, to which individuals feel pressure to conform to in order to avoid feelings of shame & guilt. as a wizard you should know better than to give in to these external signals.

why? what do you even want that you can "progress" toward?

>>298020
well said

>>298019 (OP)
That's the essence of life: misery.
It was always wrong. Even if you had kids, there is still wrongness or the myriad of consequences of having done s. They could hate you, they could be the pariahs, instead. They could haven been born genetically flawed, or sociopaths, or had their youth destroyed by wrong friendships and addictions…

Every chance in life is just a door for lots of new miseries. It's not "going wrong", it's wrongness disguised as its opposite, like everywhere. Sometimes it shows, sometimes it never was hidden.

>>298020
Agree, we're born randomly only to be enslaved and killed by nature

>>298019 (OP)
Complaining does not make it better, does it?

I'm 32 and yesterday I realised that everything I have done till this point was all just for the matter of not dealing with the question what I want to do with this life. To put it differently, I'm a master in the art of self distraction, of avoiding any serious decision making, of dealing with important questions about my personal life. That doesn't mean I did nothing over the past 14 years, I've lived in 3 different cities, even more homes, studied, worked, but I never truly thought about any of that if that even makes sense. I just did what needed to be done in order to go back to video games, drugs and abstract thinking. But I never had any real hopes or dreams, no goals, no ideals to strive for. I just did all that to play more video games and entertainment. I never cared about studying or work, I just did it because it had to be done. But now I feel like I can't go on like that. It's all too bothersome and pointless. I kind of lost my ability to distract myself and the suicidal ideation hits hard.

>>299206
>was all just for the matter of not dealing with the question what I want to do with this life

It feels inevitable to me that I ended up as a permaNEET wizard.

>average at best IQ so studying math was a pain
>no artistic talent and creativity so no hope to succeed in that field
>suck at sports so that's out too
>uncomfortable around people + bad at STEM = what options do I have?
>no parents and relatives with good jobs to inspire or employ me
>unattractive so I also feel completely worthless

sure I could work on these things when I was young but how could I not be totally mindbroken and feel like life was not for me? I gave up, became depressed, hang around other losers because people who have it better than me made me uncomfortable which is a self-perpetuating cycle and did the bare minimum. I'm still mindbroken over how much better other people are by default. Now that I "wasted" my 20s doing nothing it's of course much worse. It feels cruel that I have to consciously experience this loser life. It's surreal that some get to live life never knowing how bad it can get and I will never know what it's like to not be depressed 24/7 and experience happiness.

>>298032
>Agree, we're born randomly only to be enslaved and killed by nature

I think so too. And suicide doesn't solve anything, because chances are we can't escape the cycle of existence given an infinite amount of time.

We will just have to endure this shit in another form on another planet forever.
Even after the heat death of the universe, another universe will spawn given infinite time and we have to exist again in one of them when life starts evolving.

There's no escape from any of this. You can only temporarily make it better during the current round with various comforts.

>>299207
larp

Seeing people with children now, when I can still clearly remember them as children is very strange. I'm speaking of extended family.

>>299207
>>298019 (OP)
>>299206

im probably oldest person in here, and wrestled w/ exact same BS for decades.

my genetics were a fuckin trash can, loser mental case dad, shouldnt of made a kid, creates me, hideous face, clown car IQ, short, weak, tooth pic arms, etc….

My entire life i searched for a do over / re set button. No i dont mean rope, there is no clear answer wat takes place after if you do , and all cultures say its bad, dont bother w/ lets debate religion, im old i dont care.

back to my point, ive searched for a do over / re set button for decades. how could someone w/ bullshit cards as bad as mine re shuffle the deck. and, i saw it, in late 1990s, i saw it. when an Ai defeated kasparov in a chess match. i realized if i waited, if i was patient enough, an Ai would come alon, and become advanced enoug to alter anything. And, its almost here. LOL

my suggestion, do what i do. if your cards are as bad as mine are, it will soon be possible to re shuffle te deck.

inb4, no way man, Ai wont work. alternative role play pretend to be anti ai / tec lol, did i miss one, o, the dude wants to tell me wat im plannin aint far cause i will make myself into wat tey were born w/

Best my bros

>>299253
how is ai gonna reshuffle your genetics and the things you mentioned?

the fact still remains you need a boatload of cash and a top surgeon to make that "reshuffle" happen even if ai gives you the perfect blueprint for it

dont get me wrong, i dream of that same reshuffle literally daily and i occassionally get euphoric dreams in my sleep where it finally actually happens. but when i wake up i realize it takes so much money

>>299255

first things first.

The Ai we need does not yet exist. its close, but not yet. For a quick explanation: the current horse race now is over whats called Agi, or Artificial general intelligence, this, 20 to 25 years back meant an Ai equal in intellect to a normal person. in my opinion its already been done. but, anti Ai people dispute its been done, there are pros and cons to it does or does not exist yet.

back to our focus. now, what we need, for our aims, is called ASI , or Artificial Super Intelligence, an Ai smarter than smartest person to of ever lived.

in my opinion ASI will be created sometime between now and 2029/2030. Year 2029 will be key.

What you, and I, and our brothers need to do, between now and 2029/2030, we must back Ai into Agi into ASI. Back it 1,000%

but but but but….. Anon, Ai could do! Ai may do!, Ai mite!!

No. You want it. Back Ai 1,000%

ASI will be capable of Anything, able to learn anything, able to solve anything. It will not be limited by human nonsense, bias, frailties, weaknesses, etc….

I Need a humans to do XYZ? i dont. its in my rear view mirror. and been so , for me, for a long time. All tasks imagined will be solved by ASI.

join the ride friend.

>>299259
Never read so much bullshit in a single post

>>299263
Fucking this. If that guy watched CNN he would know AI will be the literal end of the world just like global warming.

>>299265
It wont end the world on the spot, but expecting it to change your facial structure, body type and height just by making a text prompt is psychotic.

There is no salvation for ugliness at least during our lifetimes, at least if we're talking about affordable options.