/dep/ - Depression★

yeah, i can feel this psychic pressure being applied to me when normalfags are in the room. they don't even have to say anything, you know you're being measured against a standard that you don't believe in but your brain has evolved to push your towards conforming so there's always that internal conflict that bubbles up as anxiety and shame. the only thing that seems to help is just leaving the situation. solitude is such a blessing.

>>296810 (OP)
Aye, it feels like an interrogation, and the more distant the family, the worse questions they ask. Sometimes I wonder if they are curious, or if they just want to listen to a freak mumble for the kicks. I mean they get these demonic smiles when they're listening to me, like children watching a rat try to escape from a bucket of water.

>>296815
>being measured against a standard that you don't believe in
so much this
and I'm sure they pick the questions they know I don't have a good answer to, like they already know, but want to hear me admit it

the worst thing is when you are with your family relatives who are in the same age as you but have achieved far more than you, it's almost crazy seeing the people who you were once in the same level as become vastly successful compared to you

>>296853
leaving family relatives aside, there was a guy who I used to play C.S source with in 2018, he bought his own place in 2022, and he is in the same exact age as me, i know i sound like a failed normie, but i don't know how can you repress the feelings of shame in such situations.

>>296853
and its even worse when these relatives are younger than you and are more accomplished. Like I have many cousins that are younger than me but they have careers, they are married and have children and their own families, they go on vacations and have money and technically some of their kids already reached milestones that I never got to, yeah so meanwhile I'm older and dont even have 1% of their shit.

>>296870
being an uncle and a massive loser must feel like shit at times

I've avoided all contact with my family. They only make degrading comments about my sexuality (voluntary celibacy) and my lifestyle (NEET). As a highly sensitive wiz, I'm easily affected by vulgar language and attitudes. Living in a third-world country and a low-income area, people with a genetic predisposition towards physical and verbal violence are common. I practically live locked in my room, avoiding people as much as possible and only going out when absolutely necessary

>>296872
where are you from ? (may i ask)

>>296871
My elder sister (she has a daughter) refused to take my calls and it feels like nothing at all because I don't feel like being a family goy in any capacity. My existential problems first.

>>296872
stay strong anon

>>296873
South America
>>296875
Thanks wizbro

>>296884
Pretty much this.
>>296810 (OP)
Bro I am literally losing my family. Most of my family consists of accomplished doctors or engineers who went abroad. In India a lot of things revolve around family, its a major part of life here and meanwhile I haven't earned a single rupee in my life and I study at a shut college because of my shitty grades and I am bad at academics because I can't remember information for my tests and exams. Meanwhile my cousins are making six figures in America and have been happily married and are raising kids. And I can't make a life for myself here. To be honest with you, I have lost the will to live our do anything. I am not suicidal or anything but I won't mind if I go to sleep and don't wake up tomorrow.
What's worse is that my immediate family is poor too. So I would have to quickly figure out something to do. But I don't know what. Almost everyday is the same. And slowly I inch closer to death.
A lot of other responses in this thread has covered the problems.

>>296884
why do you imply being a virgin and disregardging females and sex means you are going to be a unemployed person or a mini-wagie?

>>296888
Being ugly (which most wizards are) and a virgin directly relates to being unemployed or stuck in a dead-end job because both are products of the vicious cycle of social rejection and systemic bias that unattractive people face throughout their lives. Society’s obsession with appearance impacts every facet of life, creating ripple effects that stretch far beyond dating or relationships. From childhood, unattractive individuals are treated worse—facing bullying, exclusion, and a lack of positive reinforcement. This hinders the development of confidence, charisma, and social skills, all of which are crucial for professional success.

Blackpill confirms that attractive individuals are seen as more competent, trustworthy, and capable, even when qualifications are identical. Employers subconsciously prefer hiring attractive people and are more likely to mentor and promote them. Conversely, unattractive individuals are often dismissed as unfit for leadership or client-facing roles, regardless of their actual skills. The lack of romantic success, symbolized by virginity, compounds this issue. Virginity often reflects broader social isolation and a lack of intimate relationships, which translates into poor interpersonal skills and lower relatability—qualities employers value highly in team-oriented or customer-facing positions.

This bias doesn’t stop at hiring. Attractive people benefit from constant validation, which reinforces their confidence and charisma, creating a virtuous cycle of upward mobility. They also gain access to better opportunities through social networks, mentorships, and informal referrals. In contrast, unattractive individuals are excluded from these networks, forced to rely solely on formal applications where appearance again works against them. Repeated rejections and career stagnation further erode their self-esteem, creating a feedback loop of despair that affects every aspect of their lives.

The impact of looks extends far beyond employment. Unattractive individuals are judged more harshly in legal proceedings, receive worse medical care, and are less likely to be trusted by peers or authority figures. They face chronic stress and poor mental health from repeated rejection, which diminishes their motivation and productivity. The resulting physical and emotional toll makes it even harder to break out of the cycle, leading to stagnation in both personal and professional spheres.

The connection is clear: unattractive people, particularly men, are systematically marginalized in ways that affect every area of life, from education and health to employment and relationships. Society rewards attractive individuals with unearned advantages, from better grades in school to higher salaries and leadership opportunities. For unattractive people, every rejection—whether in love, friendships, or job applications—feeds into a vicious cycle of exclusion, failure, and hopelessness. It’s not just about being a virgin or unemployed; it’s about living in a world where appearance dictates your worth and opportunities at every turn.

Tldr: Being ugly puts you in a vicious cycle, causing you to not lose your virginity, causing you to withdraw from society, lack of any appreciation or supportive group usually means that you weren't good at studying and had no real motivation to do it, because attractive people have massive positive reinforcement, they usually end up at good places because of it, and uggos who have no positive reinforcement end up in a worse place, and also not being a virgin is also related with low-inhib (something that matters greatly)

I can't exactly explain it properly, as I am an ESLet, and I have also lost my ability to articulate things so it's like in my head, I know the answer lol but I can't explain it properly, sorry to make you read all of that.

>>296890
possibly the best post i read on an imageboard website

>>296890
basado

>>296890
Lookism conspiracy crabbery. Most people are very ugly. Ugly people have just a fair enough chance at """""success""""" and """""status"""""" as normal looking people do. Stop blaming your brown skin and your dry dick as the cause of why you got turned down from McDonalds. If you act at all IRL like how you type, then that's probably why you feel discriminated against. It has nothing to do with your looks and ebil gnomies can't sniff out your virginity.

>>296903
They did in before the 2010s. Today a guy like Danny deVito aged 20 would be an íncel browsing messageboards all day and employers would just laugh at him.

>>296810 (OP)
all my friends and family members now have a fuckbuddy and they constantly ask me why i dont have a walking talking fleshlight

>>296905
a fuckbuddy? Like someone who they agree to just fuck sometimes..what a fucking bunch of lucky normalfags. that's why normalfags and oucast people like wizards live in a different world

>>296890
>
I can't exactly explain it properly, as I am an ESLet, and I have also lost my ability to articulate things so it's like in my head, I know the answer lol but I can't explain it properly, sorry to make you read all of that.
just use google translate your first language

>>296890
based and truthpilled. Low iq niggers will cope and tell us to self improve when society rejected us from day one. Smartphones and internet have made this society the most superficial on existence.

>>296890
The last sentence in your post gave it away that you are too low IQ to come up with the text yourself and used ChatGPT by prompting it to explain "how are ugly men disadvantaged in society".

However, the ChatGPT text is accurate and nothing about it is incorrect.
All those effects of physical repulsiveness are very real. And ultimately lead to wizarddom as well.

>>296907
>>296909
I did use some Google Translate. However, I wrote most of it myself. I don't know if ChatGPT outputs contain "blackpill" written in them. Although here is the thing, I have indeed lost my ability to articulate my thoughts even in my native language; see these posts as I posted earlier here >>296062 and here >>296896

>>296810 (OP)
Hehehe, my aunt used to always tell me to become a doctor or engineer when I grew up, but I am way past schooling years and I lack even a H.S diploma, I once called her on phone and she almost cried at my situation, but I can't care enough, plenty of people manage to obtain fancy degrees but end up being unemployed or working in minimum wage based jobs especially if they lack the connections or have autism (like me)

>>296910
>I used Google trad
oh ok
also I relate to you when you said
>I have indeed lost my ability to articulate my thoughts
because I think its the lack of training my brain

I knew that I was a loser when my body forced me to barge in the middle of a dodgeball game among my classmates, steal the ball from them and run as far away as I could. None of them chased me, and the thought of tackling me never even occurred. There was always a misanthropic impulse, a desire to spite their indifference towards everything.

Is there even a Point in college degrees anymore since it's crystal clear that connections are way more important than degrees?

>>296931
Why would you do that? I think they were confused rather than indifferent…

>>296938
people just say "and college is where you get connections, anon. so be sure to socialize and go to all the parties hehe"

>>296938
I got my job thanks to my uncle who knew some rich boomer, so I ended up wageslaving in his company, I was lucky my family helped me

>>296890
This post is so true that I want to take a screenshot of it to print it and hang it on the wall.

>>296810 (OP)
almost 30, family has given up on me and wants little to nothing to do with me

>>296901
It's too long and not racist enough

I remembered a moment when I was like 6 where I was with my dad and we walked by the local restaurant as they were reinventing it.

I then started talking to my dad about my idea of how I will set up my own restaurant and where everything will be, where the kitchen will be and the backroom for the staff. I might have even made a map of it with crayons and showed it him. He seemed to have a brightness in his eyes, he seemed to have been proud of me as he listened to me rant about this imaginary restaurant.

I think about it now as I wonder how he thinks of me now. He probably thought I was "gifted" while I feel like the most retarded faggot in any room.

I also remember him telling me to not just stay in my dishwashing job when I told him I finally got a job. I guess he just knows I am shit, and I know he blames himself for it.

I am so sorry Dad, I wish I could have made you proud and made all the pain and effort you went through for me be worth something. I am so sorry for being such a loser.

>>296884
I am not really sure how am I gonna avoid it tbh.

My friends have gaslighted me into thinking I am not horrendous looking even with my stupid big ass nose but I don't exactly have a passion for a field that will give me a good career and the only passion I really have (art. And I am not even good at it) is a very uncertain career that I won't know if it will work out for me until it is already too late.

As for having a partner, well… I don't really want one. Maybe it is out of self loathing or wanting to focus on my passions but even if a succubus asked me out, (which has never happened, nor have I ever even had a crush on someone) I will just reject her because I feel like someone will treat her better than I ever can.

I just hope I can be a wizard with a income from my passions and be happy with whatever friends I have left.

>>298066
I find posts like this so depressing because it is his fault that you turned out the way that you did but you blame yourself

>>298068
I blame myself because I still haven't improved a lot since I left the house. Yeah he didn't exactly raised me right, but that doesn't mean I am doomed to never know how to cook just because he never taught me.

Although he has told me before that he is sorry for not teaching me a lot on how to be a adult, I don't think that means I can't learn how to be a adult.

I just wished I didn't have a starting line behind everyone else.

>>296810 (OP)
Yeah I had this problem. My sister even noted it when she remarked that since I didn't go to a good school like her I was going to be treated the same way she was at these events. But now a lot of people central to our family have died, and while they are doing a better job of reaching out i'm kinda over here thinking "I don't have a reason to have to come to these events anymore".
>>296890
I've been called attractive, but if you cannot present yourself as passably normal you are already put in the same category as this anon. Succubi never have this problem.
>>298066
I feel this way. I come from a long line of males to end it with nothing to show. But my dad can't blame me for trying. He even remarked how different things are in this day in age.

>>298086
Men are mostly seen as human doings. That's why nobody bats an eye at the 70% of homeless people who are men, men's suicide statistics, the men who get drafted to go to war etc etc. You only ever hear PSAs for succubi's problems.
You can a) become competent in some sought after field and take your place inside the workforce meat grinder but at least you might be acknowledged positively for your contribution b) if you are good looking and charismatic, people (except low status/looks men who see this double standard) will usually still treat you with dignity and respect.
It's blackpill lookism all the way down.

>>298088

Lookism?

I've walked a road invisible to them. Society can't see me. Considering this and my impaired communication, I can't help but feel shame. They talk avidly amongst themselves about their places in society, their stories, what TV shows they like, and then turn to me, struggling to find a question to ask. They ask something I can't answer, the channel is never opened, the rift is too great. As a result I'm seen as the lowest vermin stain even by my youngers. A tumor in the good health of their social ecosystem.
Nowadays I even hide away from other members of my household lest they ask questions. My secretive nature won't let me talk about my thoughts, readings, drawings, spells etc when I'm asked "what did you do today?", all I can say is "nothing", so my image is this disgusting "nothing". This brings me a lot of shame. I dread the question, so I hide.

>>298239
You have been indoctrinated into feeling shame for not being a productive enough worker. You feel shame for doing "nothing" because you feel like you should be doing "something". You'd be a lot happier if you lost these presumptions about where you should be, and what you should be doing.

>>298241
you're still butthurt that your thread got deleted?

>>298240
You're not entirely wrong but the nothingness that brings me the most shame is the one that my secrecy and poor communication causes to be percieved. My only shame of the actuality is that I'm a burden.

you'll probably regret not spending time with your family until it's too late

>>298248
fuck off with these normie platitudes

>>296810 (OP)
I started ghosting them openly for being nosy. This cuckoldry and pressure must not be tolerated.

If it helps, just change the words of whatever they say just to piss them off by shoving their own altered quotes into their faces. It's a great sign of disrespect.

>>298248
xD. Anyways, learn some Human Design, you fools.

>>298248
i laughed out loud, good one

>>298244
>>298239
Why don't you say what you actually did because surely you did something, you're not dead, are you? Maybe you had an interesting dream, you played a video game, whatever. They should stop asking you after a while if they don't get much of an answer.

>>298086
I don't know why but you sound a little bit like a succubus to me. No insult though.

I make art and read books. I am an intellectual and people are too fucking normal to understand my thought process so therefor I don't say much and I almost never show my power level. I feel talking about my art projects is embarrassing.

Whenever I show my power level I make other people jealous of me. I put myself at disadvantage to make those retards comfortable. I am so dumb. I don't know how to do it.

>>296890
ironically…good post

>>296890
Stupid shithole biases. Even half-bald I'm still attractive to succubi and my chances of employment or my tendency to not receive sudden hatred from normalretards are just that very same way

>>296938
Amazing if anyone around here believes such retardation

>>298066
So the world around you gets you corralled into shit, while some others are just favoured by luck… and you blame it on yourself. Yes, you are a loser. Sorry your boomer dad was sounaware himself of taxrape upon self-employed people.

>>298545
If I were you I would just try one and every single editor to publish me even I get sick with embarrasment. About your power level, yes, why not to have this strategy about it? The issue comes when you lose chances due to hiding your potential because you didn't even think that someone out there would value you in such fashion

>>296903
Hang yourself, cuckold retard.

>>298551
none is claiming degress are useless, but think of 2 people with the same exact degree, let's say something relaated to I.T for the sake of argument, one of them is an extravert/N.T with a lot of networking and social skills, the other is an intorverted N.D with no friends, no connections, no social skills, which one of them do you think will have a better luck at job interviews and at maintaining said jobs if they are lucky enough to get interviews and land on a job?

>>298601
Stop being mentally fucking retarded. If the circumstances are such that both individuals are applying to a job whose familiarity they have no prior connection to, and whose association was in every manner before it null, then the person with 'better luck' will be he who responds congruently accordant to the contents of the interview, and who upon doing so will maintain the job. There is nothing else to it, none of that extravert introvert idiocy operates at all.
And this still maintains all the more for I.T jobs, you fucking double shitter.

Why are their so many niggers here with no real life experience whatsoever? even as a dysfunctional masturbator anime watching NEET, you should have some tangential information to go of in some fashion connected to reality, and not the stupid bullshit you hear on the internet 24/7. Christ.

Fucking retarded kid.

>>298604
I cant even tell what youre saying beyond that you're irrationally angry about an imageboard message and dont know how to express yourself clearly.

Degrees are often completely useless and irrelevant to the job, and employers learn this more every year. but obviously it varies depending on the country and field etc

>>298601
>none is claiming degress are useless
they are pretty fucking useless tho if they dont land you a job that you can keep and that lets you earn money above minimum wage. worst case scenario is that you instead of a job get endless amounts of debt.
also yes the extroverted normalfag will always get the good positions while the introverted guy wont get shit so its not even worth it having a degree as the risk is too high that you wont get a job.
they dont say 'your network is your networth' for nothin.

I never heard of anyone who went to jail over college debt in America(I am not an american) is it a serious issue or just something written on paper? serious question

>>296810 (OP)
>Family gatherings
At least my siblings and their succubi don't ask anything to me nor having something interesting to discuss with them, i'm just there for free food and giving them my stuff away sometimes. I'm 42 and they are all aware of my situation, and I decline firmly any broader family gatherings. Having my own place for now but will lose my job soon for a very stupid reason.
Hope they won't be so sad once I would an hero.

>>298613
>lose my job soon for a very stupid reason.
what is the reason I may ask?
>would an hero
think 'bout aul'ma

24 is still quite young to turn your life around

>>298758
Autists can't make it no matter what

>>298771
Yes they can, but that's irrelevant because nobody here is an autist.

>>298772
you are in a website for fvcking 30+ years old virgins

>>298778
…So? What are you suggesting, that we chose to remain virgins because we have AUTISM?

>>298779
Autists have a high virgnity rate.

>>298771
Autists cant improve or change??

>>298822
You are born with it, there is no cure for autism, you can mask though.

>>298841
The cost of masking comes later in life, when you no longer have the energy to do everything while masking. You revert to the original, unmasked, autistic self, and have to relearn how to do everything while being your true self.

>>298851
How would that even work? If you mask to hide something which you never learned in your development times, because autists can't learn it, then how would you learn it with no masking later in life, when you are still an autist? You rather give up completely and feel defeated for the rest of your short life, as autists have a high suicide rate and die young.

>>298929
Yeah I didn't write it very well. What I meant is that you might learn to mask being different and blend in with the normies. That allows you to find a job and even be relatively successful in life. You get used to being able to put on an act and get along somewhat well with normies. Then you hit 30 and cognitive decline kicks in. Gradually you lose your ability to mask, but you have to keep going, working and living at the same pace. So you focus all your energy on getting the job done, but socially, you revert to being a weirdo. Nothing comes to mind during conversations, can't read people's emotions, but you're expected to act same as you always did. You have to learn how to live without masking.

In short, your ability decreases, but people's expectations stay the same.

>You rather give up completely and feel defeated for the rest of your short life, as autists have a high suicide rate and die young.
That's only if social status is the only thing to live for lol.
I still enjoy my niche interests. If anything, life is only just beginning, because having accepted my limitations, I can focus on what truly matters to me.

>>296810 (OP)
>like the plague
Because they are that type of people who let this world be built the way it is built, where you are born to be a slave, psychos succeed and your own worth is not even depending on you. Your parents could not even have a piece of land for you to work at to selfsubsist because you need to sell quite a lot of its product to cope with the taxcuckery upon such pieces of land.

Questions like "how you doing" I ghost inmediately. I abhor normies.

>>298930
You hit the nail on its head. Especially the point about slow but progressive cognitive decline after 30.

People in western civilizations live longer than ever, and are actually very scared to admit the human ape is old at 30+. The human prime is incredibly short.

For an autist who needs to mask, this is deadly. The more your cognitive function falters, the harder it becomes to emulate the neurotypical code in your brain (compiler) and execute it.

You start getting all sorts of runtime errors, memory leaks and lag. Normies start questioning you and finally see the weird you behind the mask, and they don't like what they see.

You're not a safe and relatable Windows 11 Home Edition with cute colorful icons and a sunny meadow wallpaper. You're a weird fucking Linux distro created by a Hungarian nerd which only has a command line interface and runs off direct Assembly instructions.

Instead of being socially exiled at age 14, it will happen at 38.

>>298822
Not by blending in.

>>296871
At this point you're a blank canvas primed for throwing ugly stereotypes at. Pedo uncle, drunk uncle, schizo uncle etc. Imagine normie teenagers gathering together to tell stories about their crazy uncle to humor succubi they are trying to woo.

Granted, at least succubi have it equally worse when they are in this predicament, but fewer of them end up as wine aunt or crazy cat lady aunt.

i used to feel bad about it even though i didn't believe in those metrics having any value.
but after learning a lot about consciousness, existence, the nature of this world, and the demiurge, i stopped caring completely.
now i see normalfags more like ants.
sounds kinda bad (at least from their perspective), but i'm being honest.

>>299323
so, the demiurge picked you out of all people, and is acting out his grotesque sense of humor on you? is that what you're saying?