/dep/ - Depression★

>>297839 (OP)
Driving to a job that barely makes any money doesn't make sense, you risk to destroy your car.

I don't know how to fix your life, maybe you can join some religious order.

You should wageslave for some x years, it's good for the soul. If you saw the other side you would know it's all pointless. Waging is misery. Neeting becomes misery. At least you worked, you need to be able to function outside. Doesn't matter. Really feel like we are in the endtimes. I hate how i might've died in my original timeline. This one sucks ass. So yeah if you attempt know you skip to the timeline where you survive. The ride never ends. Go to school maybe? Take the good route, the bad ending makes you replay it in the apocalypse timeline where i'm at.

>>297844
i dunno, i get so anxious in public that i feel like ill pass out and im 109 lbs because i barely eat because i dont go outside

Nope, not a clue. Life is basically input - output; if you don't try anything, you won't get anything. That's why rich parents expose their kids to all sorts of extracurricular activities and lessons, because the more you try, the more context you'll have when thinking about your future.

I got lucky(?) between NEETing and ended up doing web design/dev in a volunteering role. This was comfy but in hindsight probably a disservice as it was in effect a comfortable lie; "Eventually I'll get serious about these things, and my future will sort itself out." Yeah, doesn't work like that. I don't have a degree. And I don't even like it enough to commit to one especially considering these are extremely competitive, over-saturated fields soon to be replaced by AI. The point being though this only became a consideration for me after accidentally doing it in a semi-real fashion, I had no previous interest. I was given low risk hobby level projects for nice people which made me want to get better and suddenly I was interested. I don't think sitting in a room doing it by myself would've had the same effect.

This is also why I think "finding your passion" is retarded hamster-wheeling. You don't "find" a passion (unless you're lucky) you develop one by getting good at something. If you don't know how to code you'll find it insanely dumb and boring, but as you start to understand it more it should become more interesting and fun. It also might not. But as lame and cliche as it sounds, if you don't try you'll never know. Drawing is especially like this. It's absolutely horrible at first, even if you like art, but over many, many years, you can start having fun and drawing things you like.

This isn't to say people don't have preferences or things they naturally gravitate towards as individuals but there's more to it than these trite sayings like "find your life's quest (by buying my books and courses)" suggest. I don't think humans come out with preset occupations they're destined for like pegs fitting a hole. You obviously get your famous musicians who seem as if they were destined to play, but they were almost always introduced to the instrument at a young age by their musician father and positioned in the right environment. If Notch's dad didn't tech him to use the Commodore, he might never have learnt programming. I think most things are trial and error and most "passions" are developed like a Sim grinding out skillpoints. Once you reach a reasonable level of competency, you can start deciding if you like it or not. Some things might instantly click, other things you might have to push through a bunch of shit to get there.

However, what if you're someone who may have liked a subject but within the context of school and being forced to do exams, or even bullied, with a shit social life and no encouragement from parents, that thing now has a bunch of negative connotations and so you write it off? Or you're someone like me who enjoys doing page layouts and composition but missed the epoch when that was actually a valuable skill? Well, I don't know, things get tricky.

In hindsight my post is kind of contradictory, but the point is, just try things and see if you like them. Wracking your brain to discover things you might be good at, or what you might like doing, is a dead end when you have no actual experience or tangible data to work with. That's the unfortunate reality of being a shut-in NEET.

>>297844
That's why only being rich is a solution. Wageslaving to just meet monthly expenses and being NEET and poor is both equally hell.

>>298921
I have had similar experiences. I went to college for CS, fell hook line and sinker for that meme since I was a lonely teen who just wanted to "work with computers". I got to work a couple of decent jobs that way where bosses didn't expect too much of me and kind of just let me figure stuff out at my own pace, because what I was working on was essentially just a side project of no greater importance. In that setting, because I was forced to learn these things I did and I got better and it became less stressful, though I wouldn't call it fun. But it was something I think I wouldn't have hated doing every day for the next 40 years.
Previously I've tried motivating myself for various private coding projects, to no avail. It's fine if I have to do it for work but I have 0 internal drive to spend any amount of time on it in my free time. I think the problem is also that with these computer skills, it is almost expected that you pour a shit ton of your free time into projects and what not, simply because it is easily accessible.
At the end of the day, I think a lot of us end up in situations like these because of a lack of internal drive and no forced exposure to situations where we might have to try out new things.

>>297839 (OP)
Yeah but for me AI & robotics is the reason. Whats the point of even trying anything if I already know that humanity will be stripped of its freedoms & autonomy in 5+ years from now. My only marketable skill (gamedev) is gonna get devalued way before that too. The age of aquarius leaves me with no options

>>297839 (OP)
>because my dad stopped driving me
>>298926
>AI & robotics is the reason

I wish I could understand the mindset of people who believe none of their problems are their own fault. Do you just believe you're perfect in every way and you'd be a trillionaire if not for these outside factors? I honestly envy that level of self confidence.

>>297839 (OP)
I do not even care anymore. Splenic authority, you see.

>>298926
>>298927
>Yeah but for me AI & robotics is the reason
Not a single mention against taxes against land. Huh.
>Whats the point of even trying anything if I already know that humanity will be stripped of its freedoms & autonomy
It always was this way. At such point that you do not even want to live on your own in the countryside or apart from cities, but rather begging for slave place amongst so many other cattle.