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/dep/ - Depression

Depression
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 No.296358

it makes me sad I can't create things I like. I always procrastinate and I always did d
my whole life so far. It happened at very young age; I didn't want to go to school nor learn at home or do my homework. I was always playing flash games on the computer or play ps2 or nintendo DS and after that ps3. I didn't lile myself for that and itt continues nowdays. I don't know why I proscratinate. I hate doing things, in fact I was never used to that. I've never learn doing things by myself, always mom or dad did things for me, my mom did the cooking and my dad told me to do sport. I never listened, I just stayed at home in front of my tv. oh yeah the TV…watching programs in my bedroom all night long…it was comfy, at night you weren't bothered by others because I was kind of alone (my brother was sleeping) in front of the tv with no remorse of doing so because it was comfy and calm.
I think it's because of tv, video games and internet (smartphone addiction came way late).
when I discovered 4chan, I knew there will be no turning back: I totally "internetized" now. I'm am completly focuses on internet everyday. now it's not 4chan but wizchan I use and for a good reason: no succubi wanted me, maybe because I was too poor…all these factors made me a procrastinate person. when you're poor there'snt so much to do besode doing your home work and going to sport. no music lesson, or traveling during vacancy (just stay at home).
I know it's my fault and I know why it's because I didn't had MY things. I wish I had a computer just for me.
Anyway, in few years, I'll be 30 with no-skill wizard because it will be too late.
I wanted to know how to draw (but when I tried my drawings were so unmatch I gave up)
I wanted to create a video game (I tried some with rpg maker but I didn't made shit, just few maps and some events)
I wanted to do a lot of sport
(I wish I wasn't shy, which killed the social part of my life; so no sport because fear of others)
music playing (piano guitar drums, all I wanted to do was those but no money, family too poor)
science
(I really like science but am a brainlet)
technology and computers and coding
(I tried python, all I did was the hello world)
in fact I'm waiting a miracle to happen to me so I can do things and not procrastinating but I know it will not come: I don't leave my house, so no miracle for me.
Nowdays all I do is posting in wizchan and watch youtube video all day (no kidding). I've been doing it for 3-4 years now.
this is so unfair what I became but must be deserved.
How am I supposed to create things?! I'm a brainlet! (I can't play Yu-Gi-Oh! because you need to memorize card interactions and combo to play the game or I can't learn about philosophy because I lack good understanding).
At this point I just want to work at a factory and earn some money…I have like 0,001% of hope for my life to become better

 No.296360

>>296358
You're making too much of what you were when you were younger, not understanding that you are completely free to act differently now that you are older. A past habit of procrastinating does not need to remain a defining precedent for present work. Truly identify what you find interesting and do that thing with a renewed concentration wholly separate from the character of your past self. Also, your constant insistence that you are a "brainlet" is more certain evidence that you lack self-respect than it is of any imagined mental deficiency. If you can reform your mental self-image into a positive shape, you will have much greater chances of not only succeeding in whatever thing you choose, but also of having a much healthier internal psychology, which must be esteemed as invaluable as anything else.

Finally I will say that if you are:

-physically healthy/normal
-don't have any chronic pain problems
-domiciled in a safe house
-fed and clothed

…you really should take a step back to understand that your situation is quite far from hopeless and rather susceptible of whatever improvement you can prevail to make.

 No.296361

File: 1732920729071.gif (278.84 KB, 498x280, 249:140, 1652353789488.gif) ImgOps iqdb

>>296360
thank you kind wizzie but the problem is what will happen to me in the future! it haunts me

 No.296362

Learn 2 code

 No.296457

File: 1733324965418.jpg (158.65 KB, 749x499, 749:499, BN-GP883_LAB_il_P_20150126….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

I'm tired I always get mocked or put down by others. sucks to be treated as a punching-ball

 No.296465

>>296360
>Finally I will say that if you are:
Not him. But let's try to instead consider a realistic American.
>-physically healthy/normal
You should instead assume he is prediabetic, has at least one autoimmune disorder that will either cause cancer or cause organ damage before he turns 50, and has significant tendon atrophy that will prevent vigorous full body exercise within 4 to 8 years. That's only if we treat him as a normal American, and without reference to lifestyle disorders that are likely to be more common in longterm social abjects or NEETs.
>-don't have any chronic pain problems
It would be more fair to assume he has mild chronic pain in one of the following locations:
-Feet
-Elbows
-Knees
However, I have found that there is a significant number of posters on this site who have chronic pain in the following other locations:
-Neck
-Shoulder
-God save you if this is your case, but jaw and tooth.
>-domiciled in a safe house
This is in practice never the case and I have no idea why you would make that as an assumption. Do you mean "a housing standards act compliant apartment with no visible black mold" instead?
>-fed and clothed
Food prices and food stamp program restrictions usually mean major compromises on the more important of these two. Even the most well known nutritional disorder on Earth, scurvy, is currently making a major comeback. It was already on the rise from 2016 through 2020, mostly in individuals with Autism Spectrum disorders:
https://www.news-medical.net/news/20240719/Scurvy-on-the-rise-in-the-United-States-Pediatric-cases-triple-in-five-years.aspx
–but, man, in 2020-22 grocery stores were selling oranges with mold on their skin and lifestyle/spending adjustments met with prices to make increases in scurvy cases a fact-of-life for commoners.

 No.296503

>>296361
mostly death just like everyone else anon, you're running out of time, just make sure you love and take care of yourself

 No.296504

>>296503
But loving myself is gay, since that means loving a man as a man.

 No.296693

>>296465
Basically all of this describes me, including the tooth pain. (not OP)



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