No.297969
I'm quitting porn and the flatline is killing me. I've never felt this pain, it's like a blackhole sucking you dry. I'm trying to better myself but my mind keeps thinking "what for"? It's hell out there, maybe the dopa high/crash is all i have. God help me.
No.297970
>>297969what's the point of nofap? better yourself in concrete ways, not by denying yourself simple pleasures like masturbation. get rich, get strong, get smart. everything else is a humiliation ritual.
No.297971
>>297970Kicking porn and healing the brain. The high dopamine rush ruins the receptors and causes alot of mood disorders. I will fap after the 90 days reboot or longer but with no porn. Porn is the evil here, atleast with me.
No.297974
>>297968The presence of this comic makes me embarrassed to even be on the internet
No.297978
>>297968This drawing is sad.
I truly do believe this world is a demiurgic suffering matrix that explicitly targets the softest (best) souls.
People really are being born so that they can be tortured by "god".
No.297996
>>297978all I see is some kid having the christcuck mindvirus, instead fixing his own shit life and punishing the people who need to be punished he begs some imaginary entity to do it for him.
if you get bullied by people the only true response is violence but of course these slave religions like christianity dont want violence, they want meek, obedient people that take it up the ass and never resist.
No.297998
>>297996while what you said about christianitiy is true, you cannot expect a child to understand any of that. he is merely a child. a kind, trusting child that through no fault of his own finds himself unexpectedly overtaken by an extremely difficult and painful situation. that he believes something that is false is not evident to him. he's only praying to whom he was taught to pray, ultimately doing what seems right and familiar to him, what seems to hold the greatest promise of help. that "god" brutally implicates young sensitive unknowing souls into a world that is likely creative of situations like these is a count against the judgement of god and not the weakness of the child for lacking the higher intelligence to find a way out. our world is something's burning theater of suffering and deception, and the placing of well-meaning yet nescient young souls into this theater cannot be reckoned the action of a good creator.
No.297999
>>297998I dont blame the kid for it tho, for him it was impossible to know better and all he did was follow what his environment teached him so hes just doing what he learned. and thats kinda the crazy thing about this, people you trust teach you to be a weak cuck, teach you that some imaginary entity will help you if you whine hard enough into the void but of course that help never comes and while you wait your shit just keeps getting worse.
No.298000
I've recently tried snorting heroin. It was a very light and cheap batch from the darkweb, although it had some pleasant effects.
I bought stronger one and will try intraveinous injection.
No.298001
>>298000Don't do that brother, heroin destroys your liver.
No.298003
>>298001are you a bot or just an indian? That's not true
No.298005
>>298000Try fatally overdosing
No.298006
>>298000enjoy your brain damage
No.298040
>>298024at least you have a job.
No.298042
>>298024bad parents you had I forgive you
No.298045
how nice it would be to reject society and go live in alaska or whatever… Hunt your own food and sell the pelts or whatever. It is also a job but at least you are a free man. Or be a farmer but then you also have to pay for you land. And I dont own land nor have any money
No.298046
>>298040Not that much of an achievement. Like yay i get bills and to do taxes and spend my money on mediocre media. Woo
No.298056
why am i suddenly jealous of my brother having a gf
No.298057
>>298056Because your brain is running with a ratio of chemicals and connections that allow you to desire the positive aspects of a relationship, while the neural functions necessary for considering the downsides and troubles with companionship are being subdued.
Desired the good is fine but don't let it blind you to the bad. These feelings will pass.
No.298061
Went for a 3 hour walk. It was good. At some point I was lost in the woods where there was no way for walking.
No.298063
I swear normies are either stupid or stupid assholes. All I want to do is drive home from work in one fucking piece in this shit weather without some dumbfuck up my ass.
No.298076
The most absolutely infuriating thing is when my mom tries to gaslight everyone into just pretending like I'm not a mentally ill cripple. She will just start asking me if I can help pay the bills and what job am I gonna get as if I'm not a fucking cripple. It is so god damn fucking infuriating. She then acts liKe I'm some sort of monster for getting angry at her and reminding her that I'm not just living here with her without a job of my own volition. I'm doing it because I'm mentally ill to the point of being crippled and you nagging me to get a job is not going to magically fix my mental illness and make me a normalfag.
No.298109
>>297968nothing ashames me more than being a virgin over 30 and experiencing thunderous loneliness. I am unworthy of being called a wizard and in need of finding a new place
No.298122
>>298121what kind of degree is it? instead of wasting time and money, focus on building marketable skills. if you're on the computer, then learn coding, video editing, graphics design, system administration etc. you could become decent in 6-12 months if you put in the effort. that's one edge you can have against zoomers, they apparently suck at using computers and struggle to understand how folders work.
No.298123
>>298122Accounting degree. The job market here is lousy, every job is asking for a Bachelor's degree. Doesn't matter if you have the experience, you need that paper to even apply. Fucksake. I'm not that good with coding or video editing , i mean i could be but i won't have my degree so i can't apply to these kind of jobs. Atleast death is certain.
No.298124
>>298123the advantage of computer skills is that you can apply to jobs anywhere and work remotely. you also don't need a degree, just a portfolio or easy way to demonstrate your skills.
No.298125
>>298124Maybe 1% of programmers are skilled enough to have a viable portfolio that acts as a CV.
Let's not kid ourselves and pretend everyone with some "IT skills" can just pick up jobs at will, let alone work remotely.
No.298127
>>298125The wage tax slave mindset that every skill revolves around acquiring a McJob is very limiting
No.298128
>>298125not really. most jobs won't require a degree unless it's a very specialized position or some kind of government contract. a technical interview and some personal projects are much better at demonstrating that you actually know how to code.
No.298134
>>298128I didn't say they need a degree. Most *really* good highly paid programmers are self taught.
I said 99% of people aren't good enough at programming to be hired at any company solely by showcasing a portfolio of their programming achievements.
The very top of the top don't even need that, they just link the employer to their GitHub repository or Linux DriverProject contributions.
The vast, vast majority of programmers are school-taught code monkeys with zero creativity from India and a few western countries. They will need to compete with a thousand applicants to get a low tier entry job.
Programming positions in 2025 aren't as ubiquitous as you think. Especially if you want something that pays the mortgage instead of unpaid interning.
No.298136
>>298134Haha. He'll just go for another 'not really' 'something or other' nonsense despite what you say being something so perfectly self-evident to anyone in the real world.
It's pointless explaining anything to these type of people. Carry on with your day anon.
No.298137
>>298134you seem out of touch. programming work is in ever higher demand and not everyone needs a top 1% programmer for their projects. web development for example is really accessible to get into and they even hire bootcamp monkeys. unless you're applying to google or other meme corporations that have 7 rounds of interviews, it's really not that hard to find a decent job. one technical interview is enough to gauge whether you know what you're talking about or not. a simple fizzbuzz-tier problem can filter the majority of non-coders that really can't deal with algorithmic thinking. you don't need some groundbreaking cutting-edge open-source project to get hired, the purpose is mostly to show that you can build something and the interviewer will ask you a bunch of questions on how you solved particular problems. if they need you to be competent in specific tools and paradigms, then having a shipped project or some kind of previous experience helps.
the landscape has changed quite a lot. there's so much online content that being a self-taught programmer isn't rare or impressive anymore, it's expected because what they teach you at university is how to do computer science, not how to be a programmer.
No.298138
>>298137Why are you writing this stupid bullshit man? are you a bot? Fucking everyone knows the market is utterly fucked for junior developers and "bootcamp monkeys" because there are millions of them being churned out every month, you're not fooling anyone
No.298139
>>298138i'm literally in the industry tho. sorry you're having a hard time getting hired, but believing that only 1% of programmers have the talent to get a decent job is retarded. you're profoundly out of touch, my guy.
No.298140
>>298137web dev isnt programming
No.298142
>>298140if you say so, jonathan blow. we can't all be system programmers.
No.298148
>>298139i'm not even trying to get hired. i've simply looked at the data on unemployment levels and seen what other people are sayimg. People with masters and PhDs are delivering food and working at grocery store checkouts because there are no tech jobs and nobody wants to train juniors. If you are really in the industry i dont know what bubble you're in
No.298150
>>298148>People with masters and PhDs are delivering food and working at grocery store checkouts because there are no tech jobsbecause they're idiots that spent 10 years in school thinking that it matters. no one is training juniors because all you need is to open up youtube and search for one of the billion tutorials available for free. i'm not even talking about web dev, but literally any computer topic in existence.
you even have sites like this that give you a roadmap to follow:
https://roadmap.sh/ No.298152
>>298150idiots that learned from a youtube tutorial are even worse than the university graduates and there are millions of them. Hiring is a nightmare now too because of these people, you cant trust any of them.
No.298153
>>298152Python is like the ebonics of programming languages, every idiot learns it and they're all easily replaceable
No.298154
>>298142web deving is web deving. making a blog or maintaining a site is not programming.
otherwise, on that note, every single html "webmaster" in the 2000s was a 'programmer' as well.
No.298157
>>298156Explains why youtube is a slow clunky piece of shit, microservices
No.298171
>>298157It's because of the jews.
No.298174
>>298171The jeets get the blame on this one with their goblin tech
No.298175
>>298157engineers have to continue looking busy, even though the site was already perfected 20 years ago and theres nothing else to do.
No.298176
>>298175This is the problem of modern technology. Instead of just allowing something to be finished, they always have to change shit just for the sake of changing shit to make investors think they're growing.
No.298180
straight white men get owned in this world
No.298205
>>298180You mean Trump or Putin?
No.298233
Sleep apnea ruined my life
No.298257
How can you forgive your parents for bringing you into existence? There's no excuse for this. Continuing the slavery that is being alive, having to endure the shit show that is being around other people, experiencing the horrors that come with being conscious, witnessing the injustice that is pushed by nature itself, having to deal with deception by ideas that don't even exist just so you are forced to behave and exist like others want you to, getting to know that there's absolutely no remorse or good will but only envy, greed, selfishness, hatred and contempt which you then gradually and increasingly all adopt for yourself just to survive in a life that you genuinely despise.
No.298294
>>298257Then just kill yourself, it's not that hard or uncomfy with a bed, a tank of nitrogen gas, a bag/cpap mask or even a small acrylic "showcase" to put your head in if you want to be really fancy and not have a plastic bag directly on your face
I'd let the gas flow, get into bed and then breathe out calmly after the bag/space has been saturated
I'll fall unconcious in a few dozen seconds without hypercapnic response like many welders/shipbuilders/industrial workers and then be braindead after 10 minutes and well beyond any saving after 20
Or pentobarbital, that's the most elegant, if I understand correctly it's literally a glass of water/chem to drink and then sleep/brain death by chem bypassing blood/brain barrier and deactivating the stem
That stuff is extremely hard to get though
Chances are though, that you have some people, things and feelings that attach you to life and this world just like me
So I am currently trying to change my outlook on life and just make it bearable like I try to make my ideal suicide method bearable and at least put the kind of effort into that that I did into seeking death
No.298297
>>298257I don't forgive them, I make them cry
No.298305
>>298257They didn't know what they were doing, nobody on this earth does. It's all ape instinct stuff.
No.298313
>>298257I can't speak for my father, but my mother had good intentions and tried to be a good mother to me. Even if my life is shit now, I have happy memories from my childhood and from when she was alive. I won't deny there have been times that I've resented that I was born, but ultimately I don't think it's worth being angry at someone else over it. Will that make me feel better? No, I'll just feel worse and it will taint some of the good that I was able to experience in the past. I'd probably feel differently if she was abusive or something, though, so this is just speaking from my personal experience.
No.298394
My pc started crashing and freezing and shit and for a while it was happening infrequently enough that I just ignored it, but then it became so bad I couldn't even load into windows no matter what I did, so I had to reset windows and lost all my passwords and stuff. Such a pain in the ass. Most of them I can just reset through my email but still it's annoying. I really should get better about doing some sort of backup or something or trying to save my passwords somewhere else other than in my browser.
No.298443
I hate being a mentally ill cripple whose only option is to live with my parents, constantly bowing and scraping to keep them happy so they don't cut off support. I hate being crippled and reliant on others. I just wish I could function in the world like a normal person.
No.298444
I think I'm starting to lose it. I'm considering chopping off a finger in front of my mother just so that she understands that I am not mentally well. I fantasize about telling her that every time she forgets that I am a mentally ill cripple and starts treating me like I'm just lazy or something, I'm going to go and cut off another finger. I didn't choose this.
No.298446
>>298444What the fuck? Have you cut a finger off before? Why aren’t you taking care of yourself? What is the self-harm about?
No.298447
I wish life were like The Man in the High Castle and you could imagine yourself into another better version of reality. Maybe I am just not imagining hard enough. I have only ever imagined myself into a worse version of reality that made me believe I was actually trapped in Hell and being tortured so at least I am not experiencing that anymore.
No.298457
>>298444might be a smart way to get neetbux
No.298460
Ive realized im alone because im a "bad" person. Im not actually an ill meaning person, I just couldnt give the slightest fuck about others even if you pointed a gun at my head. Is that really so bad? So it seems, because both normalniggers and outcasts take great offense to that. Man, if only they knew how little I care about even myself.
also not really related but my testicles hurt, the kind of blueball hurt except I havent even edged for weeks…
No.298519
>>298466>schizotypical?No. Undiagnosed as far as I know. Why? Is that a common schizotypical problem or situation?
No.298522
>>298460To not mask and not talking to someone they way they like is a thing.
To let a rotting man dwelling within his own ignorance while he despairs for a way out is something none of us should ever forgive. We are like this, because normies have manipulated and toyed the researches and ideas and politics of so many wizards before us in history.
A legacy that is often whispered amongst conspirationist circles while the masses fall for the deceits of institutions. I feel it personal, like "my thing, my war, my inheritance".
Yet some people around here has not much wizardry leveling beyond being a virgin without ideas to socialize and then assuming their fate.
No.298542
went to court and as i lied and humilated myself i still think im fucked
No.298546
>>298394Sorry to hear that wiz. Lately I've been having a weird problem with my PC were it takes like 3-4 minutes to boot up completely, but once it's done it runs perfectly fine. It's been like this for about a month and I'm not really sure what's causing it, so right now I'm sort of ignoring it but I do still worry about it a bit.
>>298460In my case it isn't that I don't care about others, and in fact I'm usually fairly kind to others, rather I realized that no one will care for or respect another person in any way unless that person capitulates to the expectations placed upon them by society. So even in my case, my kindness only goes so far before I'm ultimately rejected for not being 'normal enough.' That's why even if people like us never hurt anyone else we are still outcast and seen as 'bad' simply because we don't bend over backwards to assimilate to the majority and 'fit in.'
>my testicles hurt, the kind of blueball hurt except I havent even edged for weeks…How much of your day is spent sitting down? How good is your posture?
No.298549
I love living with my abusive parents in my 30s. Every day I have to wake up and interact with the people who neglected and manipulated me my entire life.
I feel so much buried rage but there's practically nothing I can do about it. I can scream, throw my shit around, accuse them, cry, go catatonic, sleep for 14 hours.whatever, it makes no difference. It's set in stone, carved in marble, etched into the bedrock of the fucking planet - I can't do anything.
No.298581
I'm in hell.
No.298592
>>298522Have you ever truly asked yourself why things are the way they are? How could you make a meaningful difference towards others in the world? I kinda have an answer for the second question, what I do not have is time to act it out. The whole "a person cannot change the world but it can change the world of another person". Friendship basically. Yeah, its true. And yet I just dont care anymore, because for that to have any effect you have to stick around your hypothetical friend for a long time. I dont have that time.
Any answer other than that is just doing a half-ass job. Id rather not lie to myself, nor to you, my friend.
>>298546>that no one will care for or respect another person in any way unless that person capitulates to the expectations placed upon them by society.This is generally true unless youre some sort of savant that has something to back up his non-conforming attitude.
>because we don't bend over backwards to assimilate to the majority and 'fit in.'Yeah, but I dont even care about my family or really any living being to be honest. My "care" only goes as far as it becomes a mutually beneficial action. Since most people tend to already have a group or tribe as we become older, or are so unfit that they cannot find one, this attitude becomes moot for me too. Its like I dont have the neuronal paths to do that.
>How much of your day is spent sitting down? How good is your posture?Most of it, but its been like that since I became a neet long ago, I also walk a lot and can tell when im sitting too long because my tailbone and lower back hurt too, but right now they dont. Imagine dying of ball cancer, nofap cultists will hear from me.
No.298598
Since starting semen retention, i've started crying out of nowhere. Like my body reacts to all the shit i numbed with porn for like 16 years. It's ok to feel bad, it's ok to feel uncomfortable, it's ok to want, it's ok to regret but you need to feel it through. Thank you to the wizards who posted about SR and more importantly about porn being the main source of suffering in my life. I'm gonna keep walking because there is nothing else to do.
No.298611
>>298598You mean nofap? This post is the only thing that ever convinced me. If emotions do come back with nofap then it's worth a try. Does it really? Will nofap make me cry? Its all I ever wanted. How long do I need to do it?
No.298617
>>298611I did for 2 months and didn't cry once. No more emotions felt, although it wasn't bad, it has some advantages. I'm not sure what that wiz is up to.
No.298618
at this point we should ask is there anything semen retention can't do? seriously, we have wizzas having religious experiences and healing past trauma because they didn't touch their dick for a week. doctors should start prescribing cock cages to cure cancer patients.
No.298619
Hanlon's Razor, thy name is Amazon…
No.298621
>>298598Trust me bro it's worth it in the long run. Some of the best moments of my life in the last 10 years were during long persionds of SR.
No.298625
SR does nothing and SR spam should be banned.
No.298628
>>298625It is getting out of hand the last few weeks. I would agree that it's more of a cult and that fapping for most wizzes does not play a big role. You just do it to get it over with. The worst kind of cultists are the religious ones though. Here's something to think about for the religious fags:
you have no idea how full and intense it feels to live like this without doing much at all. ohhhh christ save me, and then you jerk off on disgusting anime succubi, sometimes you're trying to pray and you feel lust so you're like oh no please stop the sinful thoughts, but then you're like, I can't keep praying while I feel horny, so I'll jerk off, and then you write the filthiest smut and jerk off to it, and say wicked shit on 4chan while you're at it, calling people niggers and telling them to kill themselves, then you clutch your cross and go ohhhh I am such a sinner and you whip yourself, I'm a stupid pig, ohh I'm such a filthy pig, and then you see someone asking for charity and go euughh fuck off nigger but then you're like oh ohhhh the world is so corrupt and hateful, and I'm the most hateful swine, shameful and unclean, SAVE ME LORD, and you whip yourself again, but it's sort of a turn-on, then you drink and shitpost, and then you despise yourself because you are a slave to vice, ohhh christ have mercy while I have another glass.
You know how Gollum has constant conversations with Smeagol? It's like that, you never get bored. Truly a high IQ way to live.
No.298630
you know wizchan is meant to get burned entirely when mods allow shitstorms like this cuckoldery
>>298628 No.298631
>>298630Are you offended?
No.298632
I went for a 3 hours walk and figured I have 3 goals in life I remotely care about.
1) I need money to build a new pc. I'm nothing without PC, so I need it. I want to play new games, be safe that it won't randomly die or crash some day, I want to to be able to run software, lots of tabs, etc etc.
2) I want to feel feelings again. I haven't felt anything good (or even sadness) in 7-8 years. I want to restore emotions, to cry at sad stuff, to be excited for new stuff I seem to like, I want to feel shades of human existence.
3) I want to feel strength in the body. I want to feel like I can do… something with my body at all. I want to feel my arms being strong, my body being durable.
Currently I'm a NEET who wants to kill myself with no job and no money. What's the best way to work toward these 3 goals?
No.298633
Executive Dysfunction ruined my life. If I try to do anything productive I fall asleep(called Intrusive Sleep). I will nearly pass out at my desk if I try to do anything my brain thinks is "boring"
I've tried meds. They don't work. Tried talking to doctors. They don't care. For the love of God what the fuck is wrong with me.
No.298635
>>298631I am a bit sad. We all can sense who's offended.
>>298632>>298633Learn your Human Design, n00bs. "Strategy and authority". It's almost surreal that I am not stressing anymore after giving up job search, but the body seems to knows better.
No.298640
A common theme amongst 'loser' and 'outcast' individuals is that they think that the succesful people get rewarded for being bad, while they get punished for being good. While theres some truth to that I think that a more accurate view of it is that succesful people dont really give their actions much thought, they just do stuff. While the 'loser' feels wronged because he gets taken advantage of because he is good while really its just him hesitating and taking life too seriously.
>>298625SR is good if you have genuine nutritional deficiencies, which is the case for a lot of the type of people that post here.
>>298628Good point.
>>298633>Executive DysfunctionSame, it took me getting seriously and possibly permanently ill to recognize it and do something about it. But, BUT!!!!!!!!!!! I think I finally regained enough attention span to be able to watch a 3 hour movie or play videogames. 3 years ago thatd be literally impossible for me. There is a lot going on with your brain, your health and your actual thought patterns. I think im getting the hang of it when it comes to my particular health and situation. My advice wouldnt be of use to others I just want you guys to know its possible to get better (although the absolute state of my life seriously makes me wonder if there is any point in trying this late in the game..)
No.298641
I guess im just a fucking bad person then.
No.298644
The TV channel I used to watch with Frazier, Becker, Friends, The Big Bang Theory, etc. got cancelled due to being unpopular. It got substituted by another travel channel. I used to watch those sitcoms (no support to their ideology obviously) while going thru my wresting screenshots on my tablet. Now it's gone.
RAW Talk and The SmackDown LowDown post-shows were cancelled. RAW Recap video podcast became a substitute. Hosts constantly used backstage terms, breaking immersion while having an interview with a wrestler in kayfabe on the same show. Shit.
No.298648
>>298628There's some serious crossover with disaffected /pol/tards and wizards. They spend so long in the rightoid tradtard brainrot they think porn is a tool used by da Jews to keep da white man down or something. Now that's a slightly extreme example but I've seen it used unironically. Ultimately the cause is the same, guilt and self-loathing, status anxiety, men at a young age are taught to view masturbating as loser behaviour, like they should feel ashamed for enjoying themselves, and any talk of muh degeneracy is an extension of that - rebranding masturbating as "gooning" works to the same end. Did you know touching your wand is actually damaging your brain wiring? Look at all these gimped, self-reported studies! Never mind the other particular idiosyncrasies of your life, such as your job (i hate my job), your social connections (or lack thereof), your hobbies (watching tv), your thoughts (i hate myself), no, it's all because you ejaculate.
Or as seen above, it's pure placebo snake oil. You can convince yourself of anything, and when you have entire communities of grifters pouncing on insecure young men telling them if they stop ejaculating they'll turn into uberhumans because look at all these personal anecdotes trust us guys; they don't stand a chance. It's actually very nasty, crab in a bucket bullshit, losers (and I mean real losers who hate themselves) projecting their anxiety and mental illness and wrapping it up in cute dudebro theory. The irony of the mongoloid calling your post "cuckoldry" meanwhile he's denying himself any sexual pleasure in a pointless self-flagellation ritual while normalfags are out enjoying themselves is laughable. The sad but funny part is these guys actually think they're being counter-culture by not fapping which in effect functions the same as male circumcision; to deny men pleasure, because they're repulsed by the idea of men (even themselves) getting off.
Fapping is like playing vidya, you do it because there's nothing better to do. If you can't delay the instant gratification of either of these to work on something, then that thing isn't very important to you anyway, or it's a personal issue. You aren't "addicted", you're just bored. I feel you, but keep your tradcel rhetoric and self-hatred to yourself, thanks.
The best day I've had in a while was yesterday and this was in no relation to me ejaculating the night before. It's because I did stuff that made me feel good. Crazy.
No.298649
>>298121>Why didn't anyone say something?? Everyone tried to tell me but very subtly. I wish my folks or sister just gave me some tough love and told me how it is.
No.298650
My blood oxygen saturation is 89-91%. I feel bad but not really short of breath. Just tired, anxious and non functional. I probably have COPD but I can't bring myself to care. I hope I just keel over soon.
No.298651
>>298121>Why didn't anyone say something?? Say what? That without bachelors degree things will be bad? People said that to me repeatedly but I still failed. There was no way I could graduate when I was in uni for the first time. I was too mentally ill / weak / tired.
No.298652
>>298628>and then you jerk off on disgusting anime succubiplease bitch leave my anime succubi alone
No.298655
>>298640>Same, it took me getting seriously and possibly permanently ill to recognize it and do something about it.I've tried all fucking day for years. But to be absolutely fair this illness is a catch 22 in terms of treatment. if I want to treat myself I need to be able to plan, set things in motion and adjust around the future, the exact things that are impaired by executive dysfunction.
I wish someone would help me but no one cares. if I try to explain it I get blank stares and "well, sometimes you just have to do things you don't want to do :)". I wish I could shove my fucking disease in their skull and watch them fucking suffer.
No.298665
>>297968Once again I find myself trying for higher education since trades don't pay shit where I live. I just really want to get out of the call center/customer service treadmill.
No.298667
>>298665Same, what are your plans? I've been telling myself to aim for getting IT and Network certs, I know pay would be shit but it surely beats minimum wage don't you think?
No.298671
>>298665Finally a person online who gets it, I cringe everytime I see some westerner shilling for the tradie meme, trade jobs are only well paid in the first world.
No.298672
>>298671In Australia it pays well but the masculine bro culture of everyone in trades is unbearable. A wizard or apprentice would be bullied very harshly. I have no idea if it's like that in other countries
No.298676
>>29866633 to 34 this year
>>298667IT/Cybersecurity. I'll probably end up working in call centers still but at least wont be in taking calls.
No.298677
144 hours to jump in front of a train or a grand mal seizure from lack of xanax
No.298679
>>298676Oh I'm 33 too. I think you know as well as I do that while it's not too late yet, we're rapidly approaching the actually and unironically too late age to improve things a bit.
Other than getting the certs, do you have a plan or idea? I'm going to assume you've suffered from some or all of these:
>neglectul parenting>undersocialization>ADHD-like behaviours, generally having a hard time with learning new things and developing "good" habits>some sort of addiction or addictive personalityI've had most of those. The hardest (and possibly impossible) thing to fix will be building some sort of social capital. What do you think? Are you scared? I've been trying to distance myself mentally from imageboards, all this online stuff and cutting my losses to try rejoining the real world. It's pretty sad when you think about it. I've also cut drinking and smoking, the only two constants in my life, and I've been taking care of my health so much more than before in hopes of helping my brain actually learn things this time around.
No.298682
>>298677I thought you were memeing Anon, I went through benzo + opiate withdrawals last month and holy fuck that was probably the worst experience of my life and I only did oxycodone and valium every day and some poppy seed tea and it was a 0/10 experience.
No.298697
>>29867933 is just about on the cusp of potential change but time is rapidly running out.
Once you're more than 35, let alone being 40, it's going to be impossible to become a normie or even vaguely emulate one. After that it's permawizardry whether you want it or not.
No.298708
Life is just two things, you and everything else. When people say its wrong to be mad at everything including even people who've done nothing wrong to you i think they're retarded. They're apart of the world, of everything else. Why shouldn't they be a part of my anger?
No.298717
>>298677Why would you get addicted to that shit anyway, literally any other drug is better to get addicted to. heroin and meth withdrawals are hell but wont kill you. you need to find some doctor who understands the severity of your situation and gets you on a tapering program
No.298724
Why does everyone in these communities love to proclaim these ironclad ages when it's supposed to be impossible to change? Based on what? Shut the fuck up.
No.298737
>>298697You don't have to be this dramatic, I don't intent to become some full fledged normal, I just want a better paid job that doesn't deal with customer service directly.
>>298724I do believe you can always get better unless you are on your deathbed already but recruitment/HR WILL raise an eyebrow if they see a person in late 30s with barely a working history applying.
No.298742
>>298724If you're a 42 year old virgin with no money or work experience, it's literally impossible to start a family with a succubus of childbearing age.
Age isn't just a number. Being 22 in dire straits is very different from 32 which is very different from 42.
Society also starts treating you worse and worse the longer you exist as an outcast. "Becoming" a normie is only possible when you're relatively young.
No.298743
>>298742>If you're a 42 year old virgin with no money or work experience, it's literally impossible to start a family with a succubus of childbearing age.Source: your ass
Counterpoint: millions of men have
>Society also starts treating you worse and worse the longer you exist as an outcastNo they don't. You're paranoid.
No.298750
>millions of 42 year old virgin men have started a family with a succubus of childbearing age
and you have a source other than your ass for this?
No.298753
>>298750My ass is the ass of truth
No.298760
>>298743>Counterpoint: millions of men haveAnd look at the absolute state of humanity. You don't have to take my word for it, feel free to ask what age most wizards parents were when they were conceived.
That you can do it doesn't mean you should. I'm not that guy btw. Honestly fuck starting a family anyway, but you really want to at least kind of get your shit together at that age so you can rot in peace or do whatever the fuck you want. You want to at least have some skill to make money with.
>No they don't. You're paranoid.They absolutely do, nigger. There is a massive stigma against loners that is reinforced by social media, "he is hiding something", "he has nothing to lose" and similar retardation. Normalfaggots really believe that. They'd rather get fucked in the ass by HR and the government before you because… uh just because, ok?
No.298763
>>298760>"he is hiding something", "he has nothing to lose" and similar retardationAre memes that 14 year old succubi post, and you take to heart because you are paranoid and afraid that random succubi might exist in a state of not believing you are some well-adjusted pussy-slayer.
>They'd rather get fucked in the ass by HR and the government before you because…Because I have nothing to lose, and I would take it too far. I would afterwards have something to hide.
No.298776
I never want to listen to news ever fucking again. Like why the fuck I care about what's going on? I don't care. Fuck news. They all can go to hell for all that I care. My suffering is greater than everyone else because I have the first hand experience of it. My own suffering is enough. I don't need to wallow in more misery of this chaotic shithole of a failed universe.
No.298777
Acceptance retarded heart, accept all of the horror without the delusion that it was beautiful and coherent one time or it'll ever be. Just accept the evil senselessness of universe you stupid fucking cunt.
No.298781
>>298776knowing what is happening -> be able to better predict what will happen -> be able to make better decisions like investments or leaving the country -> improve your quality of life
No.298783
>>298781Death is same anywhere. My problem isn't this hellish planet but the terror of my own death.
No.298784
>>298776You can at least get some enjoyment from knowing there’s people suffering even more than you, or at least on the same level
No.298788
Whenever I try to do anything useful my brain throws a tantrum.
No.298789
>>298784I wish I could but I can't. I am a pussy with a sensitive and selfish heart.
No.298812
>>298784I can never understand how people can enjoy seeing others suffer, or worse yet, how they can intentionally make others suffer to draw enjoyment out of it. Guess I'm just not a psychopath.
I would enjoy seeing greedy people people like scammers get karma'd, or bullies get their their ass kicked. Justice and revenge kind of things. But they never happen, or at least media never show that. Instead, most of what of what I see in the media is forecasts of wars, catastrophes, poverty, more taxes, degeneration, everything bad. Fuck that, I'd rather stay out of touch.
No.298813
>>298812You just answered your own question, you do get enjoyment from other people’s suffering the difference is that you think in your tiny mind it’s justified. You might not be too bright
No.298827
When was the last time you took a shower? How many urine bottles are in your room right now? It's getting out of hand.
No.298832
>>298827I feel I'm not drinking enough water.
No.298833
it's great how every mental illness is treated as a joke now because of normalfags pretending they have depression, adhd, OCD, etcetera
No.298834
>>297968>nowWhen it wasn't? Before they would tell you to man up
No.298835
>>298834>>298833The entire first world spends upwards of $100,000,000,000 annually to research, combat, comfort, coddle, and create these made-up mental illnesses. You are playing the victim.
No.298836
>>298834Yes? Before it was easy as hell to get ADHD meds before but then every normalfag wanted adderall so the government shut it down and made them much harder to get.
No.298837
>>298836>then every normalfag wanted adderallNo, it's not the evil gnomies' fault you can't get feel-good pills. Adderal was found to provide a buffet of negative mental and physical side effects, so its usage was then narrowed to pacifying only true basket cases.
No.298838
>>298827I shower once a week. I dont use urine bottles, i find that disgusting
>>298832Be careful to get enough salts, i once ended up in the icu after passing out after drinking too much water on a sunny day
>>298836You can buy any drug you want if you know where to look
No.298839
>>298835the suffering is real regardless of the validity of the other language constructs
No.298843
>>298839Yeah, humanity got fucked once cognitive development happened, causing consciousness and experiencing anything above impulses. Fuck this shit.
No.298844
>>298833That's what fucked me. When i was 17 years old complaining about anxiety, the doctor thought i was just another whining kid without any real problems. A huge percentage of normies somehow get diagnosed with anxiety. In reality i was on verge of death and needed some sort of urgent intervention. Of course you cant even admit to suicidal thoughts or you get locked up like a prisoner.
>>298840They experience much weaker forms of depression and anxiety. Those "mental illnesses" are just part of normal life when they are not severe. They feel a bit sad or nervous and are unable to distinguish that mild discomfort from the severe symptoms/"illnesses" that actually ruin lives.
No.298845
>>298840>>298844It's (insert any kind of mental illness) just a fashion brand for ohhhh I am not perfect (perfectly integrated into any kind of normal faggot shit you can imagine).
No.298849
>>298840They slap "Functional" on the front of their mental disorder and wham bam thank you ma'am they have a magical new disease perfect for collecting attention and prescriptions
"Functional" Depression, for example, is exactly like regular depression except you can do everything a normal person can do. Except on the inside you're still super duper sad I swear guys I'm suffering like hell on the inside!!
No.298850
Going for an autism dx hoping i can get into their group home later
No.298903
How do normalfags have the energy to do so many things in one day?
I take a nap every day because I get so tired, and doing things like laundry, dishes, making lunch all feel way too hard and exhausting. Like after doing two things I'm ready to take a nap for the rest of the day.
Even mentally thinking about things makes me tired. It's like my body outputs 1/100th the power of a normalfag body
No.298904
>>298903I think they push through despite the exhaustion. The question is what motivates them.
No.298905
>>298903Bro they cope with activity to keep voices in their heads at bay.
Activity is a great cope though.
No.298911
>>298903Semi bipolar. They cope with sbux/carls. The music pumps them. Then they drown in booze after work
No.298913
I finally got a great job and my mom like she has done all my life kept saying :"it's hard you might not keep it, they might fire you, blablabla". I said straight to her face that she has done this shit all my life. She's a loser and wants me to be one too. AND I WAS the one that took care of her financially when my dad bailed on us. She was shocked and denied it. Sometimes i regret not bailing on her too but i can't, i love her too much even if she's like this.
No.298914
>>298913my mother did that to all her children and sabotaged them because she wanted them to be dependent housecats that would never leave her
No.298919
>>298903I feel that way too. My lower energy is apparently caused by having an anxiety disorder. Autists have a similar issue, as do people with depression of course. It's normal that mental stress causes physical fatigue
No.298931
Prepare to be taxed for being a wizard
https://x.com/inevitablewest/status/1901302576382894234
>Hungary just passed the largest tax cut in Europe & the entire Western world.>One-child mothers are exempt from income tax until they turn 30.>succubi with two or more children will have no income tax for life.>Every European nation must do this. No.298935
>>298931You are not a victim for choosing to be a virgin because governments are mitigating the rising cost of living for parents.
No.298936
>>298903In addition to the constant exhaustion, I can't gain weight no matter what I do, have constant digestive issues, skin is so thin you can see all my little blood vessels through it and any little bump causes it to tear. I'm pretty sure there's something physically wrong with me but doctors don't know what it is. The blood tests and such come back as normal so they say I am healthy. I look at normalfags and each and every one of them has nice healthy opaque looking skin. Even the ones in old age until you start getting really really old. Most 80 year old have thicker looking skin under their eyes than me.
>>298913My parents do this too and then deny they do it. They literally just tell me all the ways I'm gonna fail and how things can go wrong any time I try to do or even talk about doing anything. I need to get the fuck out of this house and then not answer their calls.
No.298937
>>298935why the fuck are you even here?
No.298949
This is probably not the place to lament about this but but I guess reddit was correct about one thing that is that watching succubi online is self torture and cuck behavior. I’m not talking about porn but succubi in regular media like film, social media and so on. You see these succubi and let’s be honest if you ever fapped to them you want to be the one to spend intimate time with them at least in the moment but you know you will never do it. So give me your wisdom how to avoid this. Is not watching at all the only solution. But that seems pointless as well. It’s really sad. I’m well above 30 but I can’t ever stop being attracted to succubi on display even though in 3d I would never want anything to do with them. Is my mind just weak and perverted? The wizardry doesn’t seem to help and I feel like my life is running short.
No.298950
>>298949read enough stories about how succubi ruined men's lives, and you'll start avoiding them like they have repulsion fields
No.298953
>>298949> if you ever fapped to them you want to be the one to spend intimate time with themSex and intimacy are not always the same thing. And porn actresses and Insta-thots? No way man.
> Is my mind just weak and perverted?You are probably fixated on what is the ideal, ignoring that people can be really nasty and relationship are not straightforward as dramas and anime want you to think.
No.298957
>>298950>>298953I'm somewhat aware of all the evil and disguise succubi bring to the table, all the pain they inflict onto men through intrigues, lies and manipulation. I've read the red pills, the black pills, anything from random image board long and quality posts to Schopenhauer quotes. That's all beside the point of the immediate sexual attraction when having them in safe distance visible through a screen where they can't damage me actively. Yes, they succeed in making me give them attention, but that's just passive and impersonal. I don't know, despite looking through the trouble that's behind these bodies, there's still some sort of purely physical attraction that my mind cannot shake off even when knowing how dumb and superficial and evil it can be. But no need to ban me, I would never ever deal with the 3d version. It's just a neurological phenomenon which I can't simply turn off it seems, not through knowledge or enlightenment.
No.298964
My whore teacher who use to beat the shit of out of me died from blood cancer. I hope she suffered hard before death. Fucking witch whore. I want to piss on her grave.
Disgusting WHORE ruined my life.
There are whores and demons who slap 10 year old kids as hard as they can on the face. NEVER FORGET. THAT'S THE TRUE FACE OF HUMAN FUCKING BEAST. AND THEY CALL THEM TEACHERS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
No.298965
Every motherfucker open their dog mouth against war. But NO ONE, absolutely no motherfucker say anything about schools. Schools are no less then a war for the oppressed kids. These are mental and psychical torture chambers. Schools are the nests of demons and witches and an institution for demonic spirits to get initiated into this cult who feast on the blood of meek.
Schools are the buildings of corruption and decay. Every teacher is a murderer. He is responsible for the sin of killing innocence. The scum are recognized as "pillars" of community. Subhuman scum.
No.298966
Nothing hurts more than watching how much others have changed for the better in the same timeframe it took you to renew your drivers license. ADHD or depression, or simply being at disadvantage by having zero familial support or wellfare, it still hurts the same.
Goddamm man, another 3 years wasted on nothing I want to fucking cry.
No.298968
Nothing came out of my vast self education and effort. My study gave me no consolation. It all went down in the gutter while blockheads shine and have all of the power. All of the philosophical inquiry went down in the gutter. Following liberal arts was a mistake.
It's not fair. Tragic, tragic, tragic.
No.298969
>>298965Unfortunately, if school is describable 'an environment in which demons are initiated', then it's likewise an environment initiating ever other individual character into similarly particular models.
The limited environment selectively acclimatizes you to think in certain patterns, act in certain ways, festering you to a role which controls your life forever. Definitely, the time you spend there, a time with a susceptible too plastic brain, is an experience always underestimated and overlooked for some reason.
I reckon the guy complaining about lust up above was probably during the chamber test called school inflamed by its passion repeatedly, and so it's now stuck with him forever.
Likewise the notoriously bullied will probably never escape a misanthropic worldview. Why should he? he saw how the game works earlier than most.
And so on for the embarrassed, or the people who fail education, then on the opposite end the successful and well rewarded.
Of course, there's also things like sitting down and listening to a teacher instruct you on XYZ for years and years on end, having to follow his command and word, this normalizing not exactly 'listening to authority', but displacing the ability to internally self-direct oneself onto the position of another.
Or social consensus, with things like making sure you blend into the background of a class with 20-30 students, knowing that standing out in anyway will only welcome trouble.
Fear of failure, forcing routine into the day, having to have a schedule -timetable- of sort, concerning oneself with societal image, having to care for that which you do not, obstruction of historical veracity…
Yeah, put a person in a space like that, repeat it for 15 years or however long it takes to complete, and the end result creates traits identified as common sense… common to the policing of school, and so everyone becomes the same.
One of the biggest complaints about being a NEET is not knowing how to use free time, and quickly getting bored. The reason for this is simple. They're too used to a school-like system which, for reasons above, has denied them their ability to do as they please.
Sadly, you can't repair or walk back from 15+ years of this, especially because by the time you're out of it, it's baked into your brain.
No.298971
>>298965I dropped out of highschool because it was so painful to be there. Even now I have nightmares about that place. Demonic
No.298972
>>298971Literally the same here despite not having attended school since 2009
No.298973
>>298971>>298972I finished school in 2010 and also still have nightmares about it regularly
No.298974
>>298973I still have nightmares about school too
No.298975
I wish I had something to do. I think I could bare being old, ugly, stupid, poor and alone if I just had something to do.
No.298976
>>297968I have an exam tomorrow and I haven't studied anything, I might have to reappear for the exam in the future and it might tank my CGPA. I simply have no motivation to study, I spent all my time listening to songs, it's like my brain is like "Fuck it bruv who cares", I am going to sit and stare at the wall in my next exam. Fuck. What has my dumbass done. Better catch some sleep tomorrow before driving, gotta stay alive to give the test.
No.298977
>>298976You are describing the last 5 years of my life. I'm still over a year away of barely graduating with only a Bachelor's. Might not make it at this point. I have no advice. Best of luck wiz.
No.298982
>>298976>>298977I did okay with exams but didn't graduate because couldn't bring myself to finish the thesis (and had one exam left but i didn't even try, not that it was super hard).
I don't have a degree, and these 4 years of pure pain and despair were all for nothing. I don't even have a diploma to show for these years. I hated my major anyway, I was deteriorating physically and mentally, and now, 5 years after the fact, I'm even worse. The thought of living through all of this again (if I even get a chance because im 30 soon) makes me want to kill myself. I'm not sure if degree would help with getting a job considering how depressed and autistic I am, but at least people would consider me more normal I suppose. IDK at this point im researching suicide methods
No.298986
>>298965If that's what school is, and I'd agree, then working life is actual hell, demonic creatures dancing around the corpses of sucked out souls.
No.298988
>>298976Exam went terribly, what made it more terrible was that there was this guy behind me trying to cheat, and my sympathetic dumb ass let him cheat cause I felt bad when other people didn't let me cheat from them. Now, I am worried that the professor might disqualify me and him on the basis of cheating. What sucks even more is that I was too spineless to say 'No' to him. Wish I had a spine and could stop being a people pleaser.
>>298977Thank you wiz, I hope you make it, you've already invested 5 years, hopefully this year would be your last in college and you will finally graduate.
>>298982Is there a way that you could complete your degree? And can it get you a better paying job if you don't already have one?
No.298989
>>298988How can cheating even happen like that? When i did university exams that would be impossible because we were being watched closely
No.298990
>>298988Oh he was reprimanded by the invigilator who was watching the CCTV and got a few marks deducted, sadly the penalty isn't harsh enough. Well I have another exam a day after tomorrow, I will try not to be a people pleaser. Tells you a lot why universities in the third world are so incompetent.
No.298999
>>298988>Is there a way that you could complete your degree? And can it get you a better paying job if you don't already have one?For one I don't have a job. And no, I can't complete it, even if they let me in graciously i still couldn't have finished because now my brain is fried and I'd have to finish insane courses like latin and shit which were hard enough when I grinded them weekly.
No.299000
>>297968Nobody is willing to help me and i can't help my self, that's all
No.299001
what the fuck do i even do? i live with my dad who has had the house operating as a crackhouse my whole life. i had a job in a warehouse for a month but im a weak person so i cracked under the pressure when i was scheduled 60 hrs a week for the next 2 mknths. how do i get out of here? what do i do? im so lonely, im already a 22 yo virgin and well on my way to wizardry.
No.299003
>>298150I wanna see you try learning all the shit I have to learn without uni. Numerics, analysis, optimization, databases, computer architecture, logic, p=np
No.299005
>>299003https://teachyourselfcs.com/there's tons of open course lectures if you really need someone to present you the same information that's in the textbook already.
the good thing about the self study approach is that you can just learn what you really need. if you want to be programmer, you don't necessarily need to know how a CPU works from the ground up or theoretical computer science concepts.
No.299006
>>299003textbooks are even better than lectures for learning that stuff unless you're at stanford or something; also, those topics are extremely popular and have massive amounts of resources. There are subjects where uni is actually basically necessary (where info is more obscure/research-tier or you need lab equipment) but those topics you listed are absolutely not in that category
No.299008
It's one of those nights where you fall asleep too early and wake up after only five hours of sleep in the middle of the night. I have had too many such nights. Time for some nocturnal programming.
No.299009
>>299001Im also 22yo and Im studying cs in uni but have 0 friends and am not motivated enough tbh. Im fucking it up and if I dont take additional semesters I cant finish, already at the 6th semester now, Im fucked too.
I guess the only reason why Im not that lonely is because of my parents that love me and work hard at their jobs. I wish I had a job. I wish I could study 100% of my time instead of wasting 90%.
>breaking down under pressure of warehouse job60 hours a week is like 12hours a day. thats kind of too much. You could just search for a job where they dont force you to work for that much. Maybe even one where you only have to work on some days of the week?
No.299010
>>299003You don't have to learn all of that. You can drop out right now and go learn a trade, and you'll be much better off.
No.299012
>>299010Trades are for strong people. If you want ANY comfort which I assume most people want, you'd want to get anything but trades. Why do you think parents want their kids to go to college instead of committing to being a carpenter or some shit? Because working under a conditioner in a cozy office is million times better than working your ass off.
No.299013
>>299001I might not know the answer, but you can take solace and consolation in knowing everyone around your age doesn't really know what to do these days, so they're increasingly being absorbed into communities scattered across the net, hungering for purpose, increasingly becoming frenetic and agitated, increasingly adopting views they don't really understand, increasingly getting pissed off with no way to really pour that anger anywhere, increasingly going insane, and increasingly drowning in madness programmed into them in ways they're increasingly unable to discern by mistaken friends and communities who they increasingly think are the best of allies which encumbers an increasingly deranged psyche full of sub-conscious paranoia.
Long story short, there's a lot of dissonance, people don't really accomplish anything anymore, and everything they're sure of is a lie. Things just happen.
I was one such person sailing a boat I didn't know I was made the captain of, across an ocean whose name I didn't know, at a period neither dusk nor dawn.
It took me to a Math and CS degree, which I flunked out off after repeated failures, which taught me I'm low IQ, which led to being a NEET, which led to here and on and on these chain of events went until it wound up (halfway) into something I'm not quite sure of myself. I think it's an aspiration toward IT, or something. I don't know.
No.299020
I am a NEET and the government in my country just announced they will cut unemployment benefits for 100k long term unemployed people including me. Maybe it is time to rope.
No.299035
>>299013I liked the way you wrote that wizzie.
No.299037
Are any other wizzies the "Audience" for their family? By that I mean the person that everyone monologues to because you sit there and listen and don't say anything.
No.299041
>>299037in our family gatherings I always get asked "Anon, what are you thinking about?" sometimes multiple times in the same gathering, people notice my brain is not there, since i am never a part of the conversation, just sitting there like a doll.
No.299056
>>299041this is why I am bad at conversations and I am a bad listener. Eventually my mind starts to wander I just start having my own internal conversation. Then someone suddenly address me like I was paying attention to everything they said and suddenly I have to start using my mouth to speak.
No.299058
>>299056does not help that normgroids mostly talk about gossips and such, a very intorverted wizard would have no idea about a lot of the people his family members gossip about, let alone being able to engage with them and talk about these people.
No.299132
>>299056No sir. Your body is reacting naturally towards useless rabble. Let them be more concise, rather.
No.299151
Bro why do I feel like I'm broken. Seriously, I see people in my gen doing the same thing over and over and enjoy that. The same work, same hangout routine, same shit daily. It satisfies them. While I want to just keep in my room, get deep into rabbit holes to distract myself. Becoming successful is not a goal anymore. Like become rich so what? Then I don't even need to think about rent or any other thing anymore. Just gets darker.
No.299178
It feels like all the good posters have vanished they probably saw that this place is not what it used to be long time ago and that the internet in its whole is better to be avoided. This is not a place to feel save anymore. It's corrupted.
No.299188
>>299151What do you mean by getting deep into rabbit holes? Just watching iceberg videos on jewtube, or actually seriously searching for answers?
>>299178I feel the same. I already left a number of other imageboards and communities, because they were infiltrated and subverted by outsiders. Original gangsters who built those communities were mocked for staying the same and true to themselves. They were forced to either adapt to the new normal, or leave.
No.299190
I bought this 7kg bag of protein powder a few days ago & I barely even used it but it's smelling like absolute shit now. Tastes super nasty too even though it tasted nice before. I didn't even do anything weird with it
Maybe I should just blow my brains out instead of trying to get better because the universe obviously does not want me to succeed
No.299193
>>299190It was "over" long before you first loaded this website. A ton of our life is determined genetically. The universe allows us very little slack or cheating nature.
No.299200
>>299199>I believe there is a God in control of this place. I hate him. Me when I was 14 and dropped my Pizza Pops under the couch
No.299201
>>299199Reddit gets a lot of hate, but I think r/Misotheism is an example of a good sub.
No.299205
Somehow I became extremely sensitive and developed tons of triggers that make me want to stop any further interaction with a medium like a book, movie, video game. So I've been reading (this means 70 pages in 6 months, haha) this non-fiction book and in some paragraph it said that some anthropologists lived with this tribe of natives for a few years. Apparently these natives we're quite happy, laughing most of time, exchanging partners peacefully, healthy and just enjoying their time in a way. But they also had their ways of dealing with the sick, the old, and the unwanted children. They had hitman that hit old succubi that didn't contribute and were a burden for the tribe with an axe in the head from behind in a moment where they didn't see it coming. They killed children that came to earth with no hair. The hitmen also killed children that were unhappy, cried a lot or that were bullied by other children. This gave me to think that someone like me in that tribe would have been killed as a child. And that would be superior to enduring this existence where you simply are tolerated to exist because of some anonymous, impersonal societal agreements. At least it's honest.
No.299208
>>299205THANKs for the insight
No.299209
Normalfags would cannibalize their own tribe if it meant they could get a crumb of pussy
No.299210
>>299205The hair thing is stupid because most people with tons of hair follicles (who end up never balding and have very thick hair) are bald until 1-2 years of age.
But who really understands the savage mind process. To them everything is done for a reason.
No.299217
>>299205Which tribe were they? I'd like to learn about them too
No.299219
Does anyone else feel rage? It's not a rage toward any particular person or institution it's just rage. Rage toward the universe or maybe just bad luck. All I feel is volcanic anger or indifferent nothing.
It feels so fucking unfair. Every bit of it.
No.299221
>>299219This is pretty much how I exist these days as well. I go through nearly every day feeling either depression, dread, or rage, such to the point where times of numbness are a wonderful relief in comparison.
No.299222
Submitted my disability review form last month. Every 7 years they ask me to reapply since I show no signs of improving. Everyone tells me it'll be fine and it's just normal procedure but man, when you're a paranoid schizo you can't stop thinking of the what ifs.
No.299223
>>299219yes, the boredom makes me end up punching the walls sometimes
No.299225
>>297968I have been having very low energy and headaches while at work. I have committed to my shitty job for years, not attracting attention and allowing interactions to be one-sided as I just be a passive fuck that smiles and nods. I hate people, society, and this life. Every day I just wish to pass away in my sleep, because a human's life is too complicated, hard, and phony. Every time I think about improving my situation, I remember that it will not address the underlying issues of my misanthropy, chronic depression, and social anxiety. I will never get to a place to secluded peace unless I earn the big bucks or become an ascetic hermit. Fuck being human.
No.299231
>>299151call me a failed normalfag if you want, but the difference is they probably feel like they belong in those contexts. they go to work and they like people and they feel respected. they have friends. if youre on this website, you've very likely be on the periphery of society/social groups/peers instead, i know i have, pretty much my whole life. i dont like referencing rote crap like muh maslows pyramid but its true because on the rare instance i get a little preview of belonging and intimacy my whole world changes for the better; without a fundamental sense of being a person who gets treated like a person, everything else can feel pretty meaningless.
No.299240
I have stopped "reflecting" over my life. I don't give a fucking about evaluating my actions anymore. Fuck this world. If world doesn't give a shit about me then why I should care? End is death. It is same for everyone. At this moment millions of people are wallowing in pain in the hospitals and why should I think of life as coherent plan? It's a fucking mess. A rape before death. Nothing speaical. That's all. I don't give a shite anymore. I'll live like a beast. I won't give a shit…at least until next misfortune.
No.299245
>>299231> they go to work and they like people and they feel respectedWhat they feel is they are surrounded of more neurtypical bottlicking aura, like theirs. Which they love to use as it disguises (in their minds) how much a failure their hierarchical societies are.