[–] No.299006
>>299003textbooks are even better than lectures for learning that stuff unless you're at stanford or something; also, those topics are extremely popular and have massive amounts of resources. There are subjects where uni is actually basically necessary (where info is more obscure/research-tier or you need lab equipment) but those topics you listed are absolutely not in that category
[–] No.299008
It's one of those nights where you fall asleep too early and wake up after only five hours of sleep in the middle of the night. I have had too many such nights. Time for some nocturnal programming.
[–] No.299009
>>299001Im also 22yo and Im studying cs in uni but have 0 friends and am not motivated enough tbh. Im fucking it up and if I dont take additional semesters I cant finish, already at the 6th semester now, Im fucked too.
I guess the only reason why Im not that lonely is because of my parents that love me and work hard at their jobs. I wish I had a job. I wish I could study 100% of my time instead of wasting 90%.
>breaking down under pressure of warehouse job60 hours a week is like 12hours a day. thats kind of too much. You could just search for a job where they dont force you to work for that much. Maybe even one where you only have to work on some days of the week?
[–] No.299010>>299012
>>299003You don't have to learn all of that. You can drop out right now and go learn a trade, and you'll be much better off.
[–] No.299012
>>299010Trades are for strong people. If you want ANY comfort which I assume most people want, you'd want to get anything but trades. Why do you think parents want their kids to go to college instead of committing to being a carpenter or some shit? Because working under a conditioner in a cozy office is million times better than working your ass off.
[–] No.299013>>299035
>>299001I might not know the answer, but you can take solace and consolation in knowing everyone around your age doesn't really know what to do these days, so they're increasingly being absorbed into communities scattered across the net, hungering for purpose, increasingly becoming frenetic and agitated, increasingly adopting views they don't really understand, increasingly getting pissed off with no way to really pour that anger anywhere, increasingly going insane, and increasingly drowning in madness programmed into them in ways they're increasingly unable to discern by mistaken friends and communities who they increasingly think are the best of allies which encumbers an increasingly deranged psyche full of sub-conscious paranoia.
Long story short, there's a lot of dissonance, people don't really accomplish anything anymore, and everything they're sure of is a lie. Things just happen.
I was one such person sailing a boat I didn't know I was made the captain of, across an ocean whose name I didn't know, at a period neither dusk nor dawn.
It took me to a Math and CS degree, which I flunked out off after repeated failures, which taught me I'm low IQ, which led to being a NEET, which led to here and on and on these chain of events went until it wound up (halfway) into something I'm not quite sure of myself. I think it's an aspiration toward IT, or something. I don't know.
[–] No.299020
I am a NEET and the government in my country just announced they will cut unemployment benefits for 100k long term unemployed people including me. Maybe it is time to rope.
[–] No.299035
>>299013I liked the way you wrote that wizzie.
[–] No.299037>>299041
Are any other wizzies the "Audience" for their family? By that I mean the person that everyone monologues to because you sit there and listen and don't say anything.
[–] No.299041>>299056
>>299037in our family gatherings I always get asked "Anon, what are you thinking about?" sometimes multiple times in the same gathering, people notice my brain is not there, since i am never a part of the conversation, just sitting there like a doll.
[–] No.299056>>299058>>299132
>>299041this is why I am bad at conversations and I am a bad listener. Eventually my mind starts to wander I just start having my own internal conversation. Then someone suddenly address me like I was paying attention to everything they said and suddenly I have to start using my mouth to speak.
[–] No.299058
>>299056does not help that normgroids mostly talk about gossips and such, a very intorverted wizard would have no idea about a lot of the people his family members gossip about, let alone being able to engage with them and talk about these people.
[–] No.299132
>>299056No sir. Your body is reacting naturally towards useless rabble. Let them be more concise, rather.
[–] No.299151>>299188>>299231
Bro why do I feel like I'm broken. Seriously, I see people in my gen doing the same thing over and over and enjoy that. The same work, same hangout routine, same shit daily. It satisfies them. While I want to just keep in my room, get deep into rabbit holes to distract myself. Becoming successful is not a goal anymore. Like become rich so what? Then I don't even need to think about rent or any other thing anymore. Just gets darker.
[–] No.299178>>299188
It feels like all the good posters have vanished they probably saw that this place is not what it used to be long time ago and that the internet in its whole is better to be avoided. This is not a place to feel save anymore. It's corrupted.
[–] No.299188
>>299151What do you mean by getting deep into rabbit holes? Just watching iceberg videos on jewtube, or actually seriously searching for answers?
>>299178I feel the same. I already left a number of other imageboards and communities, because they were infiltrated and subverted by outsiders. Original gangsters who built those communities were mocked for staying the same and true to themselves. They were forced to either adapt to the new normal, or leave.
[–] No.299190>>299193
I bought this 7kg bag of protein powder a few days ago & I barely even used it but it's smelling like absolute shit now. Tastes super nasty too even though it tasted nice before. I didn't even do anything weird with it
Maybe I should just blow my brains out instead of trying to get better because the universe obviously does not want me to succeed
[–] No.299193
>>299190It was "over" long before you first loaded this website. A ton of our life is determined genetically. The universe allows us very little slack or cheating nature.
[–] No.299200
>>299199>I believe there is a God in control of this place. I hate him. Me when I was 14 and dropped my Pizza Pops under the couch
[–] No.299201
>>299199Reddit gets a lot of hate, but I think r/Misotheism is an example of a good sub.
[–] No.299205>>299208>>299210>>299217
Somehow I became extremely sensitive and developed tons of triggers that make me want to stop any further interaction with a medium like a book, movie, video game. So I've been reading (this means 70 pages in 6 months, haha) this non-fiction book and in some paragraph it said that some anthropologists lived with this tribe of natives for a few years. Apparently these natives we're quite happy, laughing most of time, exchanging partners peacefully, healthy and just enjoying their time in a way. But they also had their ways of dealing with the sick, the old, and the unwanted children. They had hitman that hit old succubi that didn't contribute and were a burden for the tribe with an axe in the head from behind in a moment where they didn't see it coming. They killed children that came to earth with no hair. The hitmen also killed children that were unhappy, cried a lot or that were bullied by other children. This gave me to think that someone like me in that tribe would have been killed as a child. And that would be superior to enduring this existence where you simply are tolerated to exist because of some anonymous, impersonal societal agreements. At least it's honest.
[–] No.299208
>>299205THANKs for the insight
[–] No.299209
Normalfags would cannibalize their own tribe if it meant they could get a crumb of pussy
[–] No.299210
>>299205The hair thing is stupid because most people with tons of hair follicles (who end up never balding and have very thick hair) are bald until 1-2 years of age.
But who really understands the savage mind process. To them everything is done for a reason.
[–] No.299217>>299226
>>299205Which tribe were they? I'd like to learn about them too
[–] No.299219>>299221>>299223
Does anyone else feel rage? It's not a rage toward any particular person or institution it's just rage. Rage toward the universe or maybe just bad luck. All I feel is volcanic anger or indifferent nothing.
It feels so fucking unfair. Every bit of it.
[–] No.299221
>>299219This is pretty much how I exist these days as well. I go through nearly every day feeling either depression, dread, or rage, such to the point where times of numbness are a wonderful relief in comparison.
[–] No.299222
Submitted my disability review form last month. Every 7 years they ask me to reapply since I show no signs of improving. Everyone tells me it'll be fine and it's just normal procedure but man, when you're a paranoid schizo you can't stop thinking of the what ifs.
[–] No.299223
>>299219yes, the boredom makes me end up punching the walls sometimes
[–] No.299225
>>297968 (OP)I have been having very low energy and headaches while at work. I have committed to my shitty job for years, not attracting attention and allowing interactions to be one-sided as I just be a passive fuck that smiles and nods. I hate people, society, and this life. Every day I just wish to pass away in my sleep, because a human's life is too complicated, hard, and phony. Every time I think about improving my situation, I remember that it will not address the underlying issues of my misanthropy, chronic depression, and social anxiety. I will never get to a place to secluded peace unless I earn the big bucks or become an ascetic hermit. Fuck being human.
[–] No.299231>>299245
>>299151call me a failed normalfag if you want, but the difference is they probably feel like they belong in those contexts. they go to work and they like people and they feel respected. they have friends. if youre on this website, you've very likely be on the periphery of society/social groups/peers instead, i know i have, pretty much my whole life. i dont like referencing rote crap like muh maslows pyramid but its true because on the rare instance i get a little preview of belonging and intimacy my whole world changes for the better; without a fundamental sense of being a person who gets treated like a person, everything else can feel pretty meaningless.
[–] No.299240>>299260
I have stopped "reflecting" over my life. I don't give a fucking about evaluating my actions anymore. Fuck this world. If world doesn't give a shit about me then why I should care? End is death. It is same for everyone. At this moment millions of people are wallowing in pain in the hospitals and why should I think of life as coherent plan? It's a fucking mess. A rape before death. Nothing speaical. That's all. I don't give a shite anymore. I'll live like a beast. I won't give a shit…at least until next misfortune.
[–] No.299245
>>299231> they go to work and they like people and they feel respectedWhat they feel is they are surrounded of more neurtypical bottlicking aura, like theirs. Which they love to use as it disguises (in their minds) how much a failure their hierarchical societies are.
[–] No.299260
>>299240Ignoring your problems only makes them bigger, at least for me this was true.
[–] No.299290>>299291>>299298
I am fucked. My laptop is broken and now I am in so much from last year…NEET thing is really fucking with my head now. I don't even have 100$. I have zero job experience and zero qualifications.
Fuck!
[–] No.299291>>299296
>>299290Are you American? You can sign up to take surveys on Prolific to work towards that $100.
[–] No.299296>>299299
>>299291I am a turd world subhuman.
Even the kids make fun of me for not having a job.
[–] No.299298
>>299290go for a used thinkpad on facebook market if you are broke.
[–] No.299299
>>299296Sell the kids to organ harvesters
[–] No.299311>>299315>>299320>>299325
My psych said autists can improve?
[–] No.299317
>>299315improoove
what you have is never enough
you need MORE
always MORE
[–] No.299320
>>299311What else is he going to tell you?
[–] No.299325>>299327
>>299311This is true - in the capital accumulation sense.
It's possible to be buttressed by assets and techniques, online services and other assistance such that "Being Autistic" is less of a source of misery for the victim or a problem for the wider community.
The notion that "Dyslexics weren't a problem until reading became necessary" is accurate and transferable - Being Autistic is a problem because of what the subject is *obliged* to interact with; if those obligations can be minimised and mitigated, there's less of a problem. The modern world which doesn't need as many autistic shepherds that's caused the problem, is now modern enough to offer a lot of solutions. e.g. online shopping & remote work.
The question is if the subject has or is worth the resources to make that a reality.
[–] No.299327
>>299325Yes i feel that lv 1 autistics are not even disabled and just need acommodations, 2/3 are
[–] No.299335
I'm concerned with death more than with living. That's why all societal attempts at making pro life actions and perpetuating the flow of being seem inherently pointless to me with few exceptions. Probably I'm just fucked though.