/dep/ - Depression

>>297248
I only stay briefly in Reality and just look for the next content to consume to distract myself with.
there are always more videogames, more movies, more tv shows, more books, more animes to experience.

But what really fucks with my Brain is none of the escapism stuff but the Dream world.
As in I go to Sleep and then I have often dreams that feel so realistic that when I wake up I need a moment to realize whats real and whats not. it takes me like a full minute to remember who and where I am.
and that shit is what really terrifies me, what if one day I wake up and cant figure out whats real?
maybe I have early stage dementia or alzheimers or something like that.

>>297250
Do you keep a dream diary? I would like to because dreams seem like the one form of entertainment that's always available. But the wagie life leaves me little time in the morning to write my dreams down. I remember reading about a method where you set the alarm 2 hours before actual wake up time to force the dream phase, and another alarm 15 minutes before the wake up to give myself time to write in the diary. Maybe I should try that.

And yeah I know those realistic dreams. One time I had a dream in which I somehow knew my dad was depressed and considering suicide. It was many years ago and to this day I'm worried about my dad because of it.

>>297250
Well, at least you *have* dreams. I see them VERY rarely, but I can't forget them. Last one I saw around this summer, it was about some war, like 7 military people took me with them on a helicopter somewhere. As we flew above the land I saw burnt forests, destroyed buildings and I had a feeling hopelessness.
Weirdly enough I haven't felt that hopeless about my life bc I know the way out if something bad happens. That feeling was just so strong for some reason.

>>297253
no I dont keep a dream diary, I have the time but I'm lazy and the shit I see and apparently live through in these dreams isnt something I want to remember and besides the realism to these dreams its mostly mundane stuff that happens in there.
its not like I have superpowers or whatever in these dreams, it feels like I'm an entirely different person, as if my mind somehow ended up looking through the eyes of someone else but its always a different person and this person is going through its day.

>>297254
>at least you *have* dreams
I wish I didnt, I'd be happy with lying down, closing my eyes and when I open them again I'm rested with nothing inbetween.
I dont want these dreams, fuck dreams. unfortunately the only way to not get them is to drink lots of alcohol.

>>297248
I wish escapism worked for me. No matter what I do to try to distract myself my real life worries still nag at the back of my head.

>>297248
I often took lots of weed to make literally everything in my life seem like a distant dream and to just live in my island. But i stopped bc it always made me stupid as shit and really unhappy once i got sober

Not necesarilly dreams but intrussive thoughts (basically OCD) about scenarios I would like to take part in. These fuckers keep me from actually engaging in "truly" escapist activities like everyone has such as watching some anime, a movie, series, reading a book, vidya, looking onto interesting stuff on Jewtube.
Sorry for avoiding the actual question, I just wanted to take it off my chest.

just wait till you get sick and start being in constant pain&dying, it will resolve itself and escapism will become impossible

>>297276
This, I am in my late 30s, I no longer enjoy gaming, anime or even masturbating, No job, no social life, no hobbies, no interests, just existing.