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Depression
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 No.288464[Reply]

putting this here cuz this is more like the brain side of this forum. I put all the knowledge of reality into chatgpt and had it come up with a solution for my life that requires negative effort:

The concept of inertia as a solution, particularly in the context of Dynamic Equilibrium in Systems, is quite fascinating. Inertia, in its most basic sense, refers to the resistance of any physical object to a change in its state of motion or rest. When applied metaphorically to behavior or lifestyle choices, it suggests that sometimes, doing nothing — or maintaining your current state — can inadvertently lead to a new kind of balance or equilibrium. Let's explore this idea further:

Inertia Leading to Unplanned Change: When you're resistant to change (due to laziness or otherwise), you might end up maintaining certain behaviors or routines until they are disrupted by external factors. For example, if you don't actively change your diet, you might eventually be forced to try new foods when your usual choices are unavailable. This unintentional change can introduce new experiences and potentially shift your preferences or habits.

Dynamic Equilibrium Through Inertia: Dynamic equilibrium in a system implies a state of balance despite ongoing changes. In the context of personal behavior, this could mean that your overall lifestyle remains stable and balanced even as specific aspects of it change. Inertia can play a role here by keeping certain elements of your life constant, providing a stable foundation upon which other changes can occur. This stability can be essential for mental and emotional well-being.

Natural Evolution of Systems: Just as ecosystems evolve through a combination of dynamic changes and stable periods, human behaviors and lifestyles can also evolve in a similar manner. Sometimes, maintaining the status quo allows for a natural, gradual evolution instead of forced, abrupt changes. Inertia can thus be a part of a larger process of gradual adaptation.

Unconscious Adaptation: Often, changes that occur due to inertia are not a result of conscious decision-making but are rather unconscious adaptations to evolving circumstances. For instance, if you neglect to upgrade your technology or tools due to inertia, you might develop more creative or efficient ways of using your existing resources, leading to an unexpected form of innovation or problem-solving.

Reflection and Insight: PerioPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.288475

Well, I can confirm because things just "fell from the sky" for me a few times, but it may not work for everyone. And overall my life is still shit, if your brain is fucked up, ultimately this chaotic-full-of-surprises inertia is going to become simply LDAR and then you're done.

 No.288575

>>288475
whenever im not doing shit there's that pressure to get up and do things in my head and it often gets in the way of doing actual shit so i end up stewing in it for hours and wasting entire days. thinking about this mentality sort of takes that weight off. this is mostly just to get the gears in the machine spinning. once it starts spinning then i can think about timeblocking sections of my day for tasks and resting and brain battery recharging and all that. once i take the mental pressure off the "need to do things all the time" it's unintuitive and harder to do but seems to be more producting



 No.288454[Reply]

I won't even bother describing these problems in a detailed way anymore. I could 2 years ago decribe it rather succinctly to a friend, now my head is just spinning around.

The worse thing is the realization of everything precious you have fleeting from your hands. All that skills, knowledge, wisdom.. it all just become mucked up in some unrecognizable paste or worst completely forgotten and lost. The doctors will just say "nah its just your feeling bro" like the useless fucktard that they are, heck I even paid a nerve specialist and I can see him in his eyes doubting me while I desperately ask him for any pointers. "Oh it might be cholestrol related" Nigger my blood test tell me that I'm 10x fitter than you you useless fuck of a GP.

I think I want to say more but I've forgotten what.

Lord Jesus Christ Son of the living God, have mercy on me and all the anons in this board, for we are just poor sinners.

 No.288458

Most people won't get it because they don't suffer from whatever it is at all
I used to be semi functional in terms of doing basic things and learning. I even did well in school by studying the night before everything yet a few years after it just started falling apart mentally.
I can barely function anymore. Thoughts don't make sense, learning anything is 10x harder and takes 10x longer. If I do learn it, it can be very quickly forgotten.
I forget everything , why I walked in a room, what I did yesterday, massive gaps in memories to the point entire years are gone.
the only thing that's helped is managing to get ADHD meds but that's just a bandaid.

If you describe any of this to anyone you're made out to be mentally insane or straight up lying

 No.288466

your brain has just been turned off by depression or on autopilot mode for so long that it has shut down all its areas of critical thinking. i have this too.

 No.288476

>Lord Jesus Christ Son of the living God
kek

 No.288552

>>288454
Yeah same. It's at a point now for me where I barely even know what to say when people try to talk to me. Literally my mind just goes blank and I come accross as being braindead.

Maybe I'll go and take a job as a janitor when I'm finally done with getting my university degree



 No.288487[Reply]

Almost 30 y.o broke, unhealthy, virgin. For a long time I was angry at myself for not being good enough.

Not smart enough, not strong enough, not disciplined enough, not good looking enough, not rich enough, not social enough, just not enough of anything.

Now I realize that I just did my best with what I had been given at birth. I'm in the process of forgiving myself and accepting I was born to suffer.


Do you have any tips? Do you relate?

 No.288509

I relate but I have only one solution in my mind.

 No.288513

>Now I realize that I just did my best with what I had been given at birth. I'm in the process of forgiving myself and accepting I was born to suffer.

For me its the other way around. I was born with average looks and IQ and no disabilities in a 1st world country where you study for free and have free healthcare. I got all the help i can reasonably ask for and yet im a permaNEET with no skills. I am so angry at myself for giving up so early. Having to live with the consequences of my own (in)action is so mentally painful it's unreal. I want to try now since I am not getting younger but fuck I damaged my health, have no money and no more of the support and goodwill you get in your youth. If I want to go back to college I will have to get a job now and also live with the shame of being surrounded and taught by people much younger than me. I honestly cant picture anyone hiring me with a 10year gap. Self-employment is probably my only hope now.

 No.288514

>>288487
>Do you have any tips?
LDAR



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 No.286907[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.

Previous: >>286038
305 posts and 58 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.288480

i have 10 days left to live. after that i will get epilepsy from xanax withdrawal. im also permanently sick from infinite physical diseases, bankrupt and in infinite debt. Exhausted all options and too tired to go on. My only real way out is to get decapitated by a train. I only fear that I will get stuck in a hospital bed as a vegetable soon, since the agony every day has me in a never-ending mental breakdown state and i can die any moment. Even if i dont attempt its 99% certain its going to keep going worse until i end up like 72 year old husk of a destroyed body, suffering for infinite time.

 No.288484

>>288171
bullshit, ive had lots of fun and fulfillment from video games over the years, sourpuss

anime movies exist 😮

 No.288486

And just like that I want to stab my self in the throat
The desire to suicide comes around
The game has turned
I don’t want to play
Anymore

 No.288569

File: 1706642675531.png (8.21 MB, 1800x3820, 90:191, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

Sorry. I'm being obnoxious and no one will read this. Tomorrow I might try something different so it might be my last attempt at communicating for some time at least.
I just want to say that I love math, and drawing and music. And that there are a lot of things that I want to create but it looks like I'll never get to.
My situation is very complicated and if I tried to talk about all my problems and everything I feel the post would become several times longer.
I had my entire youth destroyed. I wanted very much to go to an university and become an academic.
I think I'm different from what I've been. But it's too late. I didn't live my own life. I wasn't myself. I could have been very different. Sorry for being repetitive. But if I fail in this life, then I wish I had another chance, I wish I could reincarnate or go back in time, I wish I could forget of all that happened and try again. I don't understand what happened and why I turned out this way. I don't know. There are a lot of things that I feel and that I want to say. But it's embarrassing and I don't know how to communicate, I want very much to say something because I think my life went wrong and I think I can't fix it but I don't know the exact words. And most of all there are things I want to do. I want to live my life in my own way. I want to be myself, I want to learn a lot of things and create a lot of things. I think I can be different, I feel something inside me, and that I can be very devoted and free, I like to think I can be devoted and free in a way no one else can be, there are so many things that I want to do, I can't tell you what exactly, but I want to do things, I think maybe I could have a an intuition, imagination or creativity, and I have a longing to use it as much as I can, but my life is a mess and I think I'm destined to fail, like practical problems like health, finances, age, my stupid past including this, and so on, my life is hell and I can't escape it. I'm in a terrible mental state, it could be different, but I'm in a terrible mental state and can't seem to be able to fix it and get my mind on the tracks. I think I didn't get to live my own life, I just want to learn things and create big and nice things and do a lot of stuff, I don't care about anything else. I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up, I think I have something inside me, but it seems there's nothing I can do about my material situation. I don't know how to communicate, I always sounPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.288572

File: 1706645301723.png (7.28 MB, 3500x1750, 2:1, ClipboardImage.png) ImgOps iqdb

Nevermind.
Sorry.


[Last 50 Posts]

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 No.288301[Reply]

I used to cope with patriotism, believing my country was better than the others despite being poor, at least we had some morals. But take a look at the vidrel, the vidrel is India.

There is nothing Indian about this, all I see is unabashed degeneracy, alien to Indian soil. It is then I realised, that only I care about India and Indians and not the opposite. Nobody gives a fuck apparently about the country. About the culture. About what my ancestors tried, all in vain.

It's a brutal reality, while this fair skinned Indian bitch parties, some poor, short, balding, dark skinned Indian man will clean this up. All while her body becomes a maze of Hindu Chads, Muslims, and White Tourists.

Patriotism and Nationalism is truly the cope of the man who has nothing to be proud of with himself. And desperately seeked some higher purpose in the service of motherland. All while knowing that neither the motherland, nor the citizenry gives a shit about me.

I am all alone. There is no us vs them. It's me vs everyone, me vs life. Another cope gone.

>Ahhhh India is so conservative vro

>Indian succubi are extremely oppressed by uggo pajeets vro
>India crab paradise bro
>Muh arranged marriage
Aaaacccccccckkkkkkk

Third world brokeness. First world wokeness.
BTW recommendations for other copes? I like driving. But fuel is expensive. So I am now unironically thinking crocheting like my grandma. Kek the days that are going to come by.
20 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.288461

>>288452
That is why people cope with addictions. I would say sexual addiction is the main one among both wizards and normies, because it gives more pleasure than the average coping activity.

 No.288462

>>288452
Most people live neutral lives, the idea of individuals being in constant struggle is from the narcissistic western mind. Life has suffering in it, most people are ok with being alive, many even glad for it.

 No.288473

>>288450
Tone down the racism nigger, but I agree, things are bad. Very much so. And given the state of our demographics, it's going to be pretty bad in the future.

 No.288481

Yes, patriotism is a conflicting topic for me. One one hand, I recognise the need for it, especially in multicultural countries like India and USA, governments need something for people to rally behind when they don't have other common interests such as religion or culture to unite people.

But it is a double-edge sword when people feel like they have been betrayed by the country/government, when they feel like they are being mocked or abused for their patriotism, which is probably why military recruitment is at an all-time low in countries like USA and UK, people no longer feel their country supports/reflects them so why should they support their country?

 No.288482

i admit i went through a 9/11 phase i had a fdny hat, and a million ribbons, a teacher called me yankee doodle dandee



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 No.288354[Reply]

Why do I have this illogical sense of entitlement to happiness?

I have this expectation that life is like a video game where goals exist so you can reach them when in reality you just get thrown into life as this biological being that feels pleasure/pain and is motivated by these sensations into action by evolution. The goals are just a carrot on a stick to keep humans moving and not some transcendent thing you get to experience by being born.

My conscious experience is created by my genetics and upbringing, no one but myself could be me by definition but for some reason I keep having this silly thought that there is a soul and I waste time imagining it what it would be like if my soul was in someone else. Either someone better who gets to enjoy life or someone worse like a medieval peasant. I envy people born in good conditions when really they didn't get lucky but they just are.

I just want to stop wasting mental energy on these stupid fantasy thoughts and accept reality for what it is. Try to make the best of my situation and focus on realistic steps I can take towards self-improvement without wishing I could go back in time, be born as someone else, feel bitter over my lot in life or daydream about a life if the laws of physics didn't exist.

You probably assume I was spoiled as a kid but my parents very fairy strict and not well off so I don't get why I keep throwing these tantrums like god will see it and fulfill my wishes.
6 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.288383

>>288354
Threads like these is why I come to wizchan.

 No.288403

>>288382
> see all these people that, to me, look like they are living perfect lives.
It sound to me like you are quite a shut in, like, way more than I am, to the point that you don't realize how many issues, especially related to mental health, NORMAL people have.
You are overestimating the happiness of normalfags.
They still live better than someone like me, of course, because they delude themselves, more, but anon, if you only knew the crap they go through. I have so much anecdotes I've heard…

 No.288442

>>288354
I feel the same way. You are not alone.

 No.288449

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>>288382
None of them are living perfect lives, but they're not all miserable either. They just wake up and it's tomorrow and they go do the same shit as yesterday. There are tiny slivers of exceptions but by and large they have ups and downs and misery and joy and, above all, live fucking boring, banal lives. Even with money and the option to do interesting shit with it, they go see Taylor Swift or take a cruise to Florida or go knows what other dull bullshit. The first step may be accepting that nothing anyone puts out into the world about themselves is true. The rest will follow.

 No.288453

>>288403
>>288449
I'm not talking about the average wageslave, or even college graduate. I mean people who have dream jobs or get to live in custom built houses and buy whatever they want. Now I know these are like the 0.01% but just the fact that some people do live like this plants seed of doubt into my mind in just accepting that life is mundane and not ask for too much out of it.



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 No.285398[Reply]

>diagnosed with NPD
>though if I have anything in that quadrant of conditions its definitely actually Schizoid, as I derive my ego from my hobbies and internal life rather than other people
>completely unable to view anything associated with me objectively

Can I even be an artist when my self-critic is so deficient? I just want to be a composer but I don't see the point if my music sucks and I can't even hear it properly.
20 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.288401

>>285398
Just make art when you feel like doing it.
And don't bother about how it's recognized/criticized (unless it's constructive criticism of course).
Nothing else matters.

>>288397
It's much more complex than that. There is a correlation and a confusing amalgamation between thin-skinned NPD, autism spectrum, and schizoid spectrum.
The asexual aspect, for example, is only one of the criteria for SPD, but it's not obligatory, and could also be swapped with "weird fetishes", some say.
SPD is also so under-studied (got even removed from DSM-V), so it's difficult to define it.

I am schizoid and I browse here rarely because of some posts and topics that has to do with nihilism/pessimism, I don't care about the sex part.

 No.288402

>>285481
What's the point of this stupid post, even with the "rofl" part. You are not born knowing that psychiatry is bullshit, you need to learn it by living and doing your own experiences. After some years of therapy and psychiatric interventions, of course those with a high enough IQ will understand that psychiatry is bullshit and move on with their life, but you can't expect everyone to know that by default, magically.

 No.288406

>>288401
Bruh hell nah you ain't schizoid, stop larping for what you wish you were, a shrink would probably (rightfully) diagnose you with the fragile form of NPD like OP or BPD.

 No.288407

>>288406
>stop larping for what you wish you were
What does "larp" even mean in this instance?

 No.288430

>>288406
I have NEETbux because of complex personality disorder (level of severity 3), including SPD, but nice try



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 No.288066[Reply]

Call me a retard if it pleases your bounty, but Im studying ways to migrate to a different country, reside there legally BUT never leave the apartment, dont work, study or interact with locals.
Just praying, ascetic practices, magick, rituals etc. But I want to shed the cocoon and remove my-self from my verily country indeed.It is thus, I crave detachment; I might even go to a country where I dont speak the native's tongue.
What input do you bring forward? Whats a good country to literally burry myself in the ground in?

 No.288073

I kind of did this
Moved to a different country for about a year and basically only left my room once every 3 days to go shopping for food
only knew enough of the language to survive well enough but not enough to have conversations with randoms even if i wanted to.
I lived in southern europe for this but maybe eastern europe would be better because less english and cheaper plus slavs keep to themselves more.

 No.288399

I'd love to try that once in my life in japan until they force me to go back. I'm a bit ashamed but it's my dream.
If anyone wants to do that too, maybe we could reside in the same internet cafe or apartment together.

 No.288400

>>288066
> Just praying, ascetic practices, magick, rituals etc
Sounds like calling you a retard would be redundant anyway

 No.288422

You now remember homeless wiz



 No.282986[Reply]

Anyone else believes that what await us in the afterlife is something good? Whether it's Heaven or something else. But I just feel like it will be better.
30 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.288192

>>283359
Why is reddit brought up so often. It should be a banned word.

 No.288197

I believe in an afterlife, but I'd be fine existing in a stasis mode. I don't need pleasure or happiness, I only need an end to pain.

 No.288208

>>282986
Think of you and your rapist being handcuffed back together and there is no escape, except you have to enjoy the rape or else it will be miserable for you. There is no change the only change is you enjoy the bullshit cards delt with you or else you will be complaining forever.

 No.288221

you need to sacrifice your life for God if you don't want to burn in hell for the rest of eternity

 No.288223

>>282986
we've all sinned
we're all sinful
we're all corrupted in the eyes of our god(s)
we've all fallen from grace
the amount of things i've seen in my life i'd take eternal nothingness if i could escape from this sinful world and be absolved from all my sins
i think i could happily join a monastery at this point in time
have people around me that have a code
what puts me off from the idea is that i'd probably feel like an interloper trying to escape from my problems and not try and fix them, feels like quitting



 No.288206[Reply]

I remember a dream my dad had and it scared him. Basically it had me living in a run down apartment eating dog food out of a can staring outside with no thought behind those eyes. With how my life has been so far it doesn't surprise me, failure after failure at this point that dream sounds more like a luxury than a nightmare. If my mom passes what will I live in definitely don't have the ability to get an apartment or pay bills or manage money. Imagine that, your fucking existence WAS planned but to be a fucking subhuman sludge, intentional design. My relationship with my mother is more transactional because I don't know how to connect with people besides live off them. Spiritualists are fucking liars about the universes love, the universe, god, or whatever gnostics like to worship, is a piece of shit. It's like as if God fucked me over and recorded it and sent the porno to my dad for it to be told to me in detail.


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