/dep/ - Depression

>>304577
I not tired of assholes and their behaviour
I tired of my response, emotions and my behaviour response to that assholes behaviour.
Revenge and hate doesn't give anything useful, just more hate, revenge, and suffering in the process of life.
>Also
This is a way to illumination.

>>304626
I had to cut my coffee to react less to

1) actual asso-s
2) people who aren't as as-le as myself haha

The game is to get as far away from normies as possible as quickly as you can.

>>304632
Normies are so close that some of them are you. Beware.

>>304626
true

>>303427
>Don't psychopaths have cognitive empathy?

Cognitive… empathy? Sounds like a name for an empathy substitute (in the same sense as "soy milk" is "milk")

>They understand what's going on - they just don't care. What they're missing is affective empathy.

Smart mathy person (and a 6'3" absolute unit of a bloke), yeah, but when it comes to *feelings*, he's a massive "I don't care" meathead. He's blind to the *vibe* of relief or such. So every time I sigh in relief he reall has to ask me "WHY are you SIGHING?!?!"

He has the life experience to process regular, normal" emotions, but he is completely blind to serious dramatic moments of a small fella's life. Therefore, every time I have a strong emotion - and don't have the COMPOSURE to mask it… one more SNAFU moment happens.



>What they're missing is affective empathy.
Every time he said something important and I was all like "phew! Thanks!" he would only start asking WHY I just made this funny noise of gasp/sigh in relief.

>>303430
You have to remember 10% of the population has alexithymia or is mind blind in other words they have no theory of mind and cannot comprehend other people have thoughts and feelings as well.

>>303431
>You have to remember 10% of the population has alexithymia

Ah. Thanks. Truly, I needed that information.

>>303431
the severity of this alexi-something varies though

>>303408
>>303431
Bump

Apparently, my father decded to *go for cigarettes* after my mother tried to rant with him over… a can of sardines. Or some other canned fish.


Dad was tired, after carrying stuff (elevator was turned off).
Mom was stupid, thinking its appropriate to strip hard-working dads off their food.
Me - heard everything and now have to live with it.

Screw it all. Artificial wombs and cloned people ftw. "Mother bears" are horrible troublemakers in terms of producing "n00rmal ppl".

>>302957
You really did make an entire thread to reply to my post.
Quite insane.
Also took a while for me to even check the catalog.

>>302973
Yeah the change isn't only noticed by people my age, it really depends on what age you gained internet access and what parts you got exposed to initially.
I still had an atari for example, but not because I was into retro anything, or because I'm old enough to be one of its users, it's just that rural poverty meant we got everything much later than the rest of the world.
Then when I got exposed to the internet I was lead by my "elders" as well.

I'm sure even zoomers notice, you mention minecraft, a lot of those early creators, though I didn't consume much, but some were big enough that reached me too, they used to be much different.
They were… creative and authentic. Nowadays all of it feels way too intentionally crafted to be a brand, something to sell, something to make money from.

Every space online has been way too commercialized and normiefied and the issue is that there are more and more people who have only seen this version of the internet and they love it. So if you don't, there is no space for you and they will make it very clear.
It is sad.

>More like, people didnt exactly 'change', they began to show their true colors.
I disagree with this to an extent. Again, the people I used to be around moved on with their lives. They didn't start showing their true color, it's just that they matured and had different priorities.
So what I'm trying to say here is that there is a difference between the oldheads baring their teeth. You might be right about some of them, but most just moved on in my opinion and the ones that replaced them are simply a different breed accustomed to a different "normal".
You know, don't tell people your name, don't post anything about yourself type people were replaced with those that lived life online in public like it's normal.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Posted some relevant info in /games/

I wonder of cute Two-Bees will be a thing in 30 years or so

>>302958
Yeah, I feel that as well. When I was younger, I had this plan to "live online", basically to avoid the regular life of chasing things like money and succubi and just enjoy browsing the internet after I graduated.

The more time passed, the more I felt alienated from this digital hellscape, to the point where I tried to "escape" back into the real world to get away from it all. I feel spiritually homeless on the internet and never fit in with others in meatspace as well.

>>302983
God, I fucking hate zoomers and them chasing after certain "aesthetics".
t.zoomer

>>304457
>>304457
Looks so relateable it's almost like I persoally wrote this post; I, however, don't say "meatspace" so it's not like it my post

Conclusio: RELATEABLE!!! I wanted to be a similar kind of person. Sadly, CS/IT is full of "jocks", "bros" and other "all-emotional "intelligence" types who treat wizards of digital lands as haha funny wageslaves to toy with "do this… no, no, do THIS, not that… no-no-no, try GOOD VIBES to understand me", don't be a ****"

3AM thoughts would be just like an unmoderated depression crawl thread, so this thread is redundant. I am confident OP is a troll who isn't aware what self hatred is and how it manifests.

Moved to >>>/b/1030601.

>>304580
Yeah, it was to vent. I had witnessed something dismal and humiliating. Clearly you've succumbed to humanities label or "your own definiton of success" or whatever the fuck. Cope more pussy, I hope you find the same hatred as me and do something beautiful.

>>304581
Out of curiosity, what did you witness?

Hatred is only useful as long as it doesn't destroy you or inconvenience you greatly in the process.

>>304580
You can't know what OP's going through and what he will end up doing. Plenty of image board posters delivered with their edgy power fantasies and made them into reality. Most of us jut vent or fantasize about things but there is always a chance some guy will really go nuts. Not everyone is the same as you.
>Grow up and get a job for starters…
lol How would that improve his situation? (That's if he is unemployed to begin with…)

>>304580
FWIW it doesn't fit the definition of power fantasy, because breaking someone else's skull is far from impossible.
>We've all had that phase when we were writing epic posts with badass Greek statues
That's definitely a projection, but yeah most people have been through the whining on the internet phase. For some it never ended. Not sure if it's good or bad.

>>304573
> Ive tried to distract myself from the degradation of life using the breadcrumbs society calls "happiness" or "content" or some shit
That's the wicked game of the modern world: wageslave for scraps > spend scraps to consume recreational distractions > lie to yourself about one day "getting ahead" > continue to wageslave > repeat until dead. It's all pointless repetition and stagnation. I can fully understand why people are violently lashing out more frequently than ever before, they're desperate to escape the waking nightmare of modern life (or they get duped and radicalized by political propaganda). Personally, I've been studying spiritualism and theology, as well as practicing forms of meditation in an attempt to elevate my consciousness, transcend humanity, and forever leave this doomed planet behind when I die. That's my intention, anyway.

>>304580
>get a job for starters…
I see this kind of post made a little more frequently these days, I assume it's just a weak attempt at trolling. I personally have a full-time job and it barely improves my quality of life, not nearly enough to recommend it to anyone ever. Having a job these days does practically nothing positive for a person, let alone a wizard. Wageslavery is referred to as such for good reason, so fuck off.

>>304582
The life of a Wizard can end up being a life of solitude locked away in an ivory tower.
But honestly, I never liked this ivory tower.

nah, i have a tulpa and that satisfies all my love and affection needs.

I dont have any pets and never thought about getting any. I see this as animal cruelty to cage some animal and have it be depending on my worthless ass.
the animal wouldnt have a happy life so I never bothered.
also yes I have family members but hugs arent really a thing in my family and I never hug anyone, at most you can get a firm handshake out of me or a fistbump.
last time I was hugged by my mom must been like 20+ years ago.

also "to be desired" doesnt sound appealing to me at all, it sounds like another annoying chore and what I learned in life is that if you are on some other persons mind then it always means trouble one way or another.

>>304586
would you hug your mom and tell us what happened?

>>304376
men falling out of society and stopping breaking their backs for them is their worst nightmare

Not gonna lie to you
That site >>304356 and this >>304404 sound oddly like a feminist.

>>304407
we're all neets here, fuck off

>>304407
>feminism is when men stop supporting a broken system that discriminates them and which is built to benefit and give preference to females wants and needs
what a retard.

>>304407
Based witchGOD

>>304175
You don't know any autistic guys then, you know people that call themselves autistic to gain some sort of social special scores.

>>301831
Yes.

I am convinced that I have some kind of partial paralysis of my mouth muscles, or a nervous system issue. (The latter being likely because I suspect my hand coordination is very sub-normal too).

S and Th are both hard, neither can form really well. I struggle with long vowel sounds too, particularly with difficult consonants like L or P. Sometimes too when I try to initiate speech, things just don't move, like I have to actually fire that "go" signal several times before it takes. These problems persist no matter how carefully and intentionally I approach the speech. It's a physical issue.

Everyone thinks I'm some kind of downy by default. Never had an inability to control my volume though, unless you count naturally having a very soft speaking tone due to a lifetime of people literally visibly recoiling in disgust when I speak.

>>304177
>You don't know any autistic guys then, you know people that call themselves autistic to gain some sort of social special scores.
I know one guy who said he had Asperger's, although they don't use that definition anymore. If he hadn't told me, I wouldn't have noticed, and I know another guy who has all the traits of having something unusual that maybe sound like autism to me.
It's more because of his behavior than anything else. He wouldn't fit in with normies if you compare him to the first one, although the first one doesn't fit in with normies either, except for pretending or hiding certain behaviors.
>Also
And yes, this was before all that bullshit about inclusion, diversity, and neurodiversity became fashionable, as if it were an umbrella term, and even for everything weird, due to embarrassment or lack of interest in having to know or be overly specific and explain every damn personal problem on the part of normies or educational authorities or other idiots just to reduce the term to neurodiversity or wathever.

>>304493
yeah the Th sound is hard, I remember getting sent to speech class from K-5, never fixed it. its crazy u got to stick your tongue between your teeth everytime.

well these days i dont even use th when typing, its always about dis and dat

some have compared my weird flat voice to Walken, so he's my role-model, he makes it cool

The frightening part is everyone mistaking the rationalization of this irrationality for it "getting better". Because when you see it like that it becomes clear that as the organisms we are, we can and do come up with elaborate coping mechanisms to prolong life no matter how painful it becomes: see boomers for a perfect example of this.

Meanwhile young people take risks or kill themselves with relative nonchalance. My only answer for this is that we grow attached to life, again, no matter how bad it becomes. Really bad news for the wizard crowd, man.

I think I am in an interesting situation, a lot of outcasts and loser types have freely indulged for decades non-stop their hobbies, pleasures and interests. But I always refrained from these because I thought it would be wiser to save these things for bad times, this was before I realized this rationalization of irrationality action. Should I finally indulge in stuff I like or pull the trigger already?

>>304293
After Scott Adams said he would have to murder his son to prevent him from being a crab shooter

>>304297
Epictetus? He was a stoic, right? My favorite stoic idea is the "premeditatio malorum", that is, envisioning worst-case scenarios so as to be mentally prepared for them. However, worshipping "rationality" is inhumane. you have to acknowledge the influence "irrational" (that is, primitive, instinctual, emotional or even "unexplainable") drives have. Maybe it's something that's easier to understand if you are unrestrained or disinhibited, or at least know or knew someone like that.

>>304301
Indulge in stuff. I am not going to tell you to suicide. But in the end it's your choice. I sadly can't just cast a spell that makes it impossible for you to suicide no matter what.

Have you ever seen the Robert Crumb documentary? His brother Charles was a wizard. He still lived with his mother when the documentary was made. But he offed himself before the documentary was even released. He was 49 years old. That decision - suicide - it was just tragic, not "logical"..

His other brother Max, currently 80 years old, was in the same documentary literally speaking of raping succubi hahah. And he didn't off himself

>>304301
>The frightening part is everyone mistaking the rationalization of this irrationality for it "getting better". Because when you see it like that it becomes clear that as the organisms we are, we can and do come up with elaborate coping mechanisms to prolong life no matter how painful it becomes: see boomers for a perfect example of this.

>Meanwhile young people take risks or kill themselves with relative nonchalance.

I think it's the other way round: young yobs have no idea how to handle situations that aren't even that bad for an old chap.

>>304294
>>304294
it's the other way around, isn't it???

Being a murder victim could cause that disorder. Thanks for the info! Had issues with that for all of my life.

Fucking hate people who think they have the right to murder.
Fucking hate absurdity, always.

>>303912
oh, soma killa tried to whack me over a 35$ celly.

Good thing I had a knoife m8, they woulnt rob a elementary school boy, they would do some psycho stuff, good thing I had a knoife m8

>>303906
Oh and the road is equipped with a traffic light so had he whacked me, he would be responsible for a murder and not a manslaughter becaue he was driving at the red light and not an unregulated crossing

>>303053
>never had an autist-tier hobby to treat as own safe haven
Why autist with hobbies can have a own safe haven? I ignorant about autism, sorry.
I dont have hobbies bacause I poor and dont have money to do things, I just read or pirate things or try to learn something thanks to internet if i can.
>Also
The truth is, I'm not very successful socially, so I don't think I can do much about that.
Only an idiot who doesn't know how to use money would say that money doesn't bring happiness. That excuse about simple things and living simply for happiness is true, but it's also partly a lie. Money makes absolutely everything easier.
>"Adaptation disorder"
Sound like a term when they cant alienate you to a shit society of abnormal people fucked by hyper-socialization and other problems.

>>304208
>I dont have hobbies bacause I poor and dont have money to do things, I just read or pirate things or try to learn something thanks to internet if i can.

Digital hobbies are hobbies too

>The truth is, I'm not very successful socially, so I don't think I can do much about that.
Only an idiot who doesn't know how to use money would say that money doesn't bring happiness.

Oh I used to be such a person… Now I am kinda wiser with modey.


>"Adaptation disorder"
Sound like a term when they cant alienate you to a shit society of abnormal people fucked by hyper-socialization and other problems.

Or when they need to mark down your "not like them" is cause by outside stress - OUTSIDE e.g. not some inner split-o-phrenia