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 No.219552[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Just talk a bit about yourself. I would recommend talking about specifics and unique tastes or goals, so you may have a better chance of finding someone similar to you. Maybe some quick life story summary. It's up to you.

>The only rule is, please, take the time to read the other posts before replying. The goal is to have the most connections possible.
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yet here i am posting on wiz of all fucking places while i need to study. i am studying medicine and i have never had that real drive i see the other people in my studies have. being able to study for hours straight and getting big grades while i struggle to study just enough to pass. i only had to retake one thing this whole year but when i see the grades these people get it hurts


>i am studying medicine
same here, previous semesters I used to study a bit, but this semester we have all online classes and I'm really screwing up. I haven't studied one bit, I cheat on every single test, I just look everything up on google as I go through the tests/work, if I can't find the answer on google I don't even bother opening the book, I just guess. Worse thing is I have a learning disability, impaired memory, it takes me a hard time to actually remember stuff, but I'm squandering everything so that I can sit around and do nothing after getting all my work over with in 1 or 2 hours. It doesn't make sense but I'd rather do nothing than work on this crap, I just don't care, I'm at school so that my parents don't turn the internet off during the day, that's it.


a learning disability will catch up to you either way, so this approach makes sense. sucks your parents expect you to compete with actual smart people anyway. It was similar for me except they've given up but the problem is, the financial situation is untenable.


I mean tbh, employers could usually figure out I was an asocial wizard so just the fact that I am not a normal person nor a savant is the nail in the coffin. The people who are just covert schizoids rather than actually asocial I imagine are the ones who should be worried.


i'm the one you're responding to, and yea me too. i barely study and i just cheat all the exams. i'm a first year anyway and the current courses are useless for my future career so i don't really have a bad conscious over it. don't worry people i will be the wizard doc that CAN help you.

[Last 50 Posts]


>be me, 25
>dropped out of high school age 17
>went to community college for 2 years, A in every class but no degree
>start working at place near campus
>quit college a week after starting
>work there 2 years
>get drivers license at 23 after 1.5 years working there
>quit job
>go neet for year
>mom gets me tickets to a seminar on infographics
>take bus to city to go
>whole thing cost her like 250 dollars
>while I'm there I see all these successful normies
>start to realize what a failure I am
>go home and feel guilt that I will never utilize what I learned
>few months later I get a wagecuck factory job
>been working there 6 months as of today
>boring as hell and I am only getting older
>I was supposed to be successful but my life is just pointless now
>I just want to find a way to NEET it up until I die
>autistic work ethic is keeping me from quitting my job even though it would be smarter to quit and go back to college
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Yeah I mean, I only wanted successs so I could feel like I was doing something important or access to bigger distractions like travelling. When I'm somewhere different, there's stuff to explore even if I'm still anxious. In foreign countries, tourists are expected to be awkward, so makes it easier for me.


Sounds like a failed normalfag in stage 1. See, with time you'll realize that all those things don't matter in the end


I guess that's true. I don't really have any aspirations. Jsut guilt because my mother buys me things and I appreciate them but they remind me I was supposed to be more. But in reality I know it doesn't matter and I don't care about acquiring material possessions. I just want to make 30k a year in the laziest way possible so I can work on my hobbies. Guilt drives me to feel guilty but not enough to do anything about it. Because I don't want to. But I feel like I should want to. All guilt can do is maintain inertia so I don't quit my job. I'm desperately trying to find a NEET tier field to go into so I can work from home but besides programming / IT there doesn't seem to be much.


>don't care about acquiring material possessions. I just want to make 30k a year


I have to eat and have internet. To get food I'll probably need a car. Or rent in an expensive area.

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This is a general thread about addiction (including behavioural addictions), escapism, substance abuse, sobriety, change and acceptance.

In this thread say anything about your daily struggle. Have you been able to maintain your sobriety? do you even want to quit? are you acceptable life as it is?

>We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them - Epictetus

>You don’t develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity - Epicurus

>You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life - Camus

>To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others - Camus
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I am addicted to FF14 myself. Its pretty comfy but with my real life being hell its come to the point where I am only alive in the game world and real life just seems like an unnecessary chore. I still play some single player games as well but I am never away for very long. Couple days at most but mostly I just play FF14 then switch to whatever other game I am working on for a few hours later in the day.

Ive always played video games but they were mostly just a hobby. Now after my life really took a nosedive with no real way out Ive all but given up on it and games have become like a crutch or a lifeline. Without them I would of likely killed myself back in 2017 and the reality is that would of probably been better for me.


I remember similar feelings from playing competitive games, I try to stay away from anything that involves competition, it only ever remembers me how much I suck compared to others. But my life got better altogether since I stopped playing competitive games, it's so stupid to make your self worth depending on such ephemeral triviality. Read a book, that's where I feel at home now, nobody bothers me there, you cannot be better or worse than anyone at reading a story, or watch anime or whatever, you can't lose watching anime. What is there to gain? Except you are the best player in the world it's for nothing. It's like chasing money for the sake of chasing money. Except that money has actual use to it, at least to a certain amount.


It helps if you're able to measure your "worth" (as it relates to vidya) by your own personal self-improvement, not by your rank. Even if you start a Bronze, but progress to Gold during a competitive season, you've achieved by your own markers.


Anyone else struggling recently? Trying to stay off alcohol for s while for reasons, got anxious two days ago, wanted to drink but decided I'd buy a pack of cigs instead, chainsmoked until I felt like I was dying with a massive headache and wanting to scream from the anxiety, bought alcohol the next day.


>Anyone else struggling recently?
Yes, I created the thread almost 60 days ago. Through the thread I can see how I peaked being sober for a couple of days then quickly relapsed to binging for weeks. Just got out of a two week binge.

Had some delirium tremens I think. I was having this vivid dream which was more like a delusion, I think I was black-out awake the whole team. After "waking up" I was tired but I couldn't go back to sleep.

I noticed I had gotten a fever and I was sweating hard and my torso kinda hurts. Been clean for more than 2 days, less than 4. Can't even tell the fucking date.

Anyways, keep on going wizbro.

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 No.217352[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

>Alcoholic uncle staying with us at Dads place
>He starts drinking
>Dad confiscates his booze
>Uncle takes off
>I spend the next day trying to convince my dad we basically have to get him back here and accommodate his drinking so he doesn’t end up at a shelter in contact with a lot of people.
>I have to promise I will take care of all his needs and keep him away from my dad
>send a bunch of messages and texts to his phone
>call police. They send out a dispatch
>he comes back the next day on his own
>it turns out he did go to the shelter the previous night
>note to self: wash hands obsessively
>tell him he needs to stay between the guest bedroom and bathroom because he could have got the virus at the shelter
>he keeps fucking around. At one point he pees in a bag
>yells at me all day to cook shit for him and give him booze
>losing my fucking mind. Never felt more stressed in my life

>inb4 caring about family is normie
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>Managed to get a nice paying job
>More thn enough to go live on my own
>about to finish my training
>HR calls me and tells me that theyre going to send me home cause i have asma
>When theres no more virus ill be aible to go back they still paying me something
>Currently still at parents home
>Cant do shit cause all the familly is here
>Have to eat with them 3 times a day
>dont have much money
>Have to listen to them all day
>Is pretty fucking hot
>Cant open the windows cause granpa thinks the virus will enter the house despite he sweating horribly
>I smell, the house smell, is hot
>cant even jerk off cause they start screaming that ive been in the bathroom too long
>Im stuck here
<Thinkng about getting the chink flu just to run away from this


hello muhammad


He is not wrong though
Wizlam is but one part toward the universal truth


More Zhongguo ChiComs will use my country as a stepping stone country or a transit point to legally or illegally immigrate to their own real preferred better countries. More Zhongguo ChiComs will persuade/request my country's geriatric """president""" to give more gratis tourist visas, working visas, & immigrant visas to more Zhongguo ChiComs who want to hide in my country, to stop the travel ban on Zhongguo airplanes/flights to land in my country, & or donate gratis all the natural resources, all the medicines, all the medical supplies in/of my country to the Zhongguo ChiCom gov't.


I thought I was getting throttled recently but it turned out that the connection to the wire outside had corrosion.

[Last 50 Posts]

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Alright party people, it looks like I've come to the end of the road, and therefore I'd be honored if you could help me escape this life.

I don't have a lot to work with due to the fact that I live in Europe, in a country without mountains and no tall buildings around me in this dead farmland city.

What methods of suicide can I do? My first idea was trains, but due to the corona virus they arent running. Roping seems to be a solid way, I've heard about people being able to do it with just a belt, although I don't know how that would work considering I don't have something in the ceilling I can use. What are your thoughts on how I can kill myself painlessly?
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CO poisoning?


I forgot to mention that B is formic acid and D is sulfuric acid. The formic acid is supposed to drip into the sulfuric acid and react to form carbon monoxide.


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i'm going for the detergent death wizbro, dunno how painful is, hope not much…


Play stupid games win stupid prizes


what are the things u put it in called? is that a straw that goes through the thing? can you explain more how this contraption works/how to build it????


I've just realized a common trait along wizards, despite many years being here. Extreme attachment; or extreme attachment and detachment at the same time if there was sort of phyisical or other abuse.

Which indirectnly narrows down the more "negative" wizard behavior being either schizoid or BPD in nature. Like, are you a passive wizzard? More than likely you're schizoid and that's fine. Are you an active wizzard? You're more likely to be active aggressive and impulsive, by nature, it's fine too.

I'm just having a drunk rant, I' won't be able to type coherently in a while. But I do see a never ending path of constantly seekling harm. Now in the form of alcohol and drugs, and it's been a fucking decade or more. Pls respond, getting shitfaced. Don't leave, I will come back with more pain and lessons and wizdoms. Right now my belly stings and by chest burns from so much drinking and smoking. Been binging for a week. Haven't eaten anything edible in 3 days which I remember. Today alcohol was my dinner if you keep in mind I woke up today 2 AM. Or early breakfast. However the fuck you wanna call it. No there was no fucking dinner or breakfast the day before.


oh danny boy…


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I meant

>Extreme attachment TO CHILDHOOD/UPBRINGING; or extreme attachment and detachment at the same CHILDHOOD/UPBRINGING at the same time if there was sort of phyisical or other abuse.

Still can fucking type and write drunk, why the fuck should I live like this? The day I decide to quit opiates there's such major setback. Hell, who would have guessed people addicted to downers are addicted to downers. We got whole families of downers out there.


I don't know, it seems like many wizards don't remember much about their upbringing or it's mostly a mix of being left alone and abuse.


I'm drunk as well, after binging for months. Starting to feel good

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Who else is incapable of handling conflict, even online? I've never gotten any better at it. If anything, I've gotten worse.

>when I realize that somebody is antagonizing me or picking a fight with me, I freeze up, my mind goes blank, I say nothing, I get tunnel vision, and my body starts trembling continously up until some time after the threat is gone, and it ruins the entire rest of my day with shame for my own impotency and indignation and disappointment towards people

>can only ever think of what to feasibly say or do in response to the threat hours or days or weeks after the fact, if ever
>innate cautiousness, aversion to risk, and low self-confidence mean that I have a sort of learned helplessness where I feel that it is pointless to fight back because my retaliations will be ineffectual and will just be met with more force and pain anyway
>capacity for self-control/low impulsiveness, objectivity, introspection, and empathy completely gimp my ability to defend myself
>I don't like hurting or upsetting people, and I am conscious that I'm no more inherently valuable than anyone else, and no one is inherently any more deserving of hurt or suffering than anyone else; this mixed with low self-esteem means that I always hesitate to fight back and end up letting them get many punches in before I finally register them as an unthinking vicious animal deserving of retaliation and I manage to throw even a single faltering punch back, but more often than not I just do nothing at all and let them keep going until they stop hurting me or one of us walks away
>my reflexive adherence to objectivity means that in an argument I'm always considering the other person's point of view and negotiating and playing devil's advocate against myself, where the other person will often narcissistically delude themselves into any justification that allows them to think they are entirely correct and they deserve to win, and will go straight for my throat without any regard for what is true or fair
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It gets a bad rap as being the number one circlejerking platform. Functionally there's not much bad about it except the obvious selling your data thing. It's notorious for things like blackmail, raiding, trannies, etc.


It's owned by China and the privacy policy admits it's mining all your data. It's used for low IQ normie clique circlejerks and voice chat. Better to use facebook


Honestly, I'm just beyond caring for the most part at this point, at least in terms of online communities, as I don't actually interact in real life. If an online community bothers me and not most other people, I'm out, which I can easily do with no strings attached. If someone does something that bothers me and the well-being of the group as a whole, I generally wait for someone else to call them out, or do it myself if no one else does. You'd be surprised at how most people actually just deal with these situations passively, it's really not as specific to us as you'd think. Most people just want to fit in, and they're scared they'll get excluded from the group if they say anything bad.

>I have a sort of learned helplessness where I feel that it is pointless to fight back because my retaliations will be ineffectual and will just be met with more force and pain anyway

Well, that's actually kind of realistic, but if something just bothers you that much, you're better off just not being with these people to begin with. It's easy to do online if you're not using your real name/info. You have nothing to lose by trying, you can always just leave.

>I don't like hurting or upsetting people, and I am conscious that I'm no more inherently valuable than anyone else, and no one is inherently any more deserving of hurt or suffering than anyone else

I don't either, which is why I just quit if I realize the sentiment is not shared by other people. But if there is reason to call out someone, for the sake of the wider group, it's usually not that bad to do so.

>my reflexive adherence to objectivity means that in an argument I'm always considering the other person's point of view and negotiating and playing devil's advocate against myself

I just avoid arguing in general, it's pointless and frustrating. No one actually wants to learn anything from it.



>I've never gotten any better at it. If anything, I've gotten worse.

I've found this to be the case as well. After all this time one would've expected the opposite to have happened, but somehow my skin is far more thin now than it was even just a couple years ago. Instead of hardening up or becoming indifferent to this sort of stuff, I feel like I've become only more fragile and incapable of handling even the most minimal of conflict. The last place someone like me belongs is in a place like this and if I had any sense at all I would've left this site behind a long time ago. I really don't understand why I keep coming back to a place I'm so ill suited for and that I've also never really been particularly fond of either. Knowing I'm this much of a hopeless fool in a lot ways hurts more than any insult I've ever received. Instead of moving past or overcoming these kinds of things I've only fallen further into darkness and somehow have become even more weak of mind and spirit than I was before.


There's no point in even engaging with conflict online. You cannot win an argument on the Internet, since Internet arguments are not discussions, but simply
>I write out my stale, rehearsed talking point and call you a faggot
>you completely ignore my post, copy out an unrelated talking point of yours and call me a nigger
>repeat until one of us gets bored
Waste of time to even try.

I'm terrible at it in real life though. I was raised by incredibly avoidant parents who handled life by refusing to ever acknowledge any problems and hoping they eventually went away, and that's the only way of handling problems I ever learned.
I can't really even have a real-life conflict, even if somebody is in my face or yelling at me or something like that. I just reflexively block out the fact that something bad is happening and I can't feel angry or sad or do anything other than try to leave or get them to go away.


Does anyone else have significant learning disabilities? Basically, I didn't really figure out I did since it's usually associated with dyslexia and I was always able to read and spell. When I noticed that the more effort I put into certain things had diminishing returns, it started to become visible that I was a lot slower than other people when it came to skill acquisition and sometimes just never improved past a certain level. Since I went to mostly easy schools until University, I hadn't really gotten my rude awakening until I had to compete with actually smart people. It used to be me just writing stuff off as me being bad at math like a lot of people, but I wasn't good with my hands or longer writing formats at all. I'd look at the feedback, try to improve yet it wasn't really happening. I'd just get some of the stuff down in a rote sense but I wasn't able to expand it beyond that.

I found out this was basically Non-Verbal Learning Disorder, so I was pretty fucked from the get-go and the only successful people with it seem to be succubi in social work.
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I have the same issue, but I also have add. I won't be paying attention and someone will ask me a question at work and I will start stuttering and freeze. My mind will just lock up and I won't even be able to read 4 digit numbers.


I'm not sure if i have a learning disability or not. I always tested way way above average on everything that wasn't mathematics. i still remember teachers yelling at me saying i am not trying at all when I was trying my hardest already. nobody believed me because i effortlessly passed everything else.
I learned to tie my shoes and ride a bike way after the normal age. when i was a kid id have to run to whatever spot the other neighbor-kids were biking to.
I cant even work as a cashier because i cant do that math at all.
ironically i went to college and graduated in STEM. i think most of that has to do with me being a decent actor and the fact that the professors i had were very coddling.
the biggest issue is i just dont seem to have a head for programming or computers at all. i feel like an idiot because computers are what i have been involved with since i can remember. not only that but it seems the only way to get hired somewhere is to have a grasp of technology that i cant get.
im early 20s and have always been a slow guy everywhere except my tongue. im incapable of learning new things. i dread getting older because my mental abilities only get worse from here on out


It sounds like you do.

What area of STEM? At uni, none of my professors were very coddling, but at k-12/community college most were.

I learned how to program, but I'm not good at it and have to spend hours bashing my head if I break a program, since I'm not good at the mental problem-solving aspect of it and I suck at making anything new. I just memorized syntax after having to see it for a long time hoping it'd be enough to get a low-level code monkey gig on an existing codebase.


Follow-up on this. I have been writing a fictionalized account of my life. It's pretty cringe. I'm planning to kill myself off in it as a wish fulfillment thing but it'll be like some freak accident.


I managed to get a job due to the covid-19 stuff in a grocery store. Fucked it up badly. Didn't sign up for another shift. It was the worst since I couldn't push the cart properly or properly seal any paper bags for delivery. Everyone was like incredulous about how badly I was fucking shit up. My life is like being Mr Bean but it's not a comedy. I was also constantly anxious around all the rich shoppers since it's an overpriced upscale thing.


Anyone have these how do normalshits react?

Usually they don't care because suffering is subjective and they think im a lunatic or something.
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Thats so messed up man


I hope they ignore me


Shit man. That actually sucks.


Any kind of (attentive) response. It's an expression of desperation and mental agony that cumulated over time thus leading to irrational overreaction. It tells other people that something is wrong with you and that you need help. It sometimes can't be avoided because the internal pain is invisible to other people. There has to be a way to communicate the pain. Sometimes mere words or subtil signals are not enough to make other people see how bad it really is. It shows that people have to drop normal expectations in regards to the person with the breakdown. They cannot expect him to act as he is ought to do in the realm of social norms. He's in such a bad position that he just can't do it anymore.


I can usually avoid it in public. It just usually comes full circle at home when the distractions don't work anymore. No one really cares about me outside of direct relatives who aren't exactly doing well themselves, so I'm always under a lot of stress since I was never capable of improving my situation as I simply don't have the intelligence level needed for it.

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As we speak, im typing this 4 hours and 16 minutes into my supposed first 5 hour shift as a Freight Associate at Home Depot. The supervisor told us to go to the computer room and do modules, and that he'd check on us in 20 minutes. He never came back, so I've just been sitting here getting paid to browse the internet and do nothing. I don't even need this job because i live at home with a soft ass dad and step-mom with no authority, but i wanted some money. I'm thinking about just clocking in and sitting far back in the the computer room from now on until they either notice me and fire me, or i just stop showing up. In the meantime ill just apply for other jobs.

I feel like im intelligent enough to do some kind of low-tier white collar/office job, but i absolutely cannot tolerate interacting with people in an open ended way. if its necessary to complete a task or job, sure, but im completely uninterested in other people or their lives. most people are unremarkable and just a nuisance. Id honestly rather use the internet to find like minded people and have complete control over how much "social" interaction i have with them. I'm 29 and i can feel the cusp of the inescapable psychological reality that im no longer a kid and there isn't anymore time. O well. Fuck it.
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I already notice a gap in the maturity among everyone online, and this will only grow wider. Everything will be less and less relevant..


Same here (early 30s), although I hardly even communicate with people online other than on here. As for what people my own age do it's all beyond me. Even people half my age are capable of so much more than me. Reading about others' lives is like reading about stuff that happens in a movie.


Actually while decent first world countries are not increasing their populations by large amounts third world trash countries unfortunately are breeding like rats.

Its honestly like when I moved back to the country due to being a failure and moving with my parents. It really astounds me how these mostly white redneck types have no future what so ever. They work dead end home depot jobs often part time and have zero education or skills or any sort of plan to get out of their soul crushing poverty. So what do they do? Go and have kids so those kids can grow up in poverty and repeat the process. Worst part is they typically have more than one kid. Do these fuckers not realize upward mobility in the USA is basically dead. Whatever class you are born into that is likely where you will stay and that statistic was before this Corona shit raped the world economy.

I realized after awhile its just humans bowing to instinct. As a species we typically die faster than we do these days and in the past it took a fuck ton of people to harvest a relatively small crop. My Grandma would talk about how when she was young dozens of people would gather just to harvest a few acres of corn. Now jobs like that are done by one person driving a machine to do it. Point is people are still acting like animals and breeding like rats thinking the people they are creating will have a use when the reality is most of them will not have a use especially if they are poor.


im happy to say that I'm now making 600/week for the next 9 weeks thanks to ameriacan socialism. i quit this job after a week of clocking in/out without doing any work. hope you guys can get neetbux too
procreation is a sin


The reason they're created isn't because they think they'll have a use in those circumstances; it's because someone doesn't want to wrap it up. It's just a few seconds of pleasure for a lifetime of shit for some kid.

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