/dep/ - Depression

anyone else pretend in their heads to be in the same or similar position as a nation's dictator, such as putin?

everyone around you must treat you with respect, you have total command over much of the world that surrounds you, only have to keep up high power public appearances - but beyond that you can retreat into social solitude, can experience unmatched luxury without thinking of costs

i sometimes walk around my house handshaking the air

i dont talk to anyone irl or online

Have you ever dealt with crazy family members trying to destroy your life? My aunt is a sadistic psychopath and together with her fiance she enjoys harassing me and my parents. After a quarrel almost a year ago she claimed she will destroy us. Unfortunately we live next to each other so it's impossible to avoid her. She already has a history of odd behaviour, she is unemployed and has a lot of free time on her hands. Every week or so she tries to initiate some kind of conflict. Sometimes she just shows middle finger, sometimes she talks crap so everyone can hear her, sometimes it's other things like snooping on us, stealing mail or bringing random junk close to our border. Yesterday when I told her to shut up her fiance rushed at me, grabbed me by my shirt and I punched him in the face. I already tried contacting police when he threatened to kill me and my parents but they didn't care.

I don't even know how to elaborate the sheer brutalness of life, I am so tired of being poor and be dependent upon my parents like a cuck. The state has no concept of neetbuxx. I have completed my degree, and I am sick of getting rejected from interviews, dancing all day long on LinkedIn out of the all fucking websites in the world, begging recruiter here and there. Changing my CV again and again, I do this all day, only to get an offer of a job that pays nothing, that wouldn't even qualify as stipend for internships.

Meanwhile, succubi in my college, particularly good looking succubi have no problem in life, they get paid so much, and get hired at an instant cause they look cool. They are truly untouchable. The new caste system is based upon looks and gender. With gender being the varna, and looks being your jaati. I don't usually get upset at things in life, as I have decided to not kill myself (maybe because of cowardice or simply it's rather unnatural), so the only logical conclusion is to improve the quality of my life that I am gonna live.

But today is one of those days, where you truly feel defeated and raped. It's quite remarkable how different my life is from an average bitch, who starts having sex at 15, travels the world, sleeps with whoever she wants, looks pretty, gets a job just for existing, good at socialising, sports, academics, etc. due to being in an extreme positive feedback loop. And most importantly despite of the cope that goes around in the online spaces, they are happier than the most.

Meanwhile, I have nothing, I don't care for relationships anymore cause damage is already done, but I can't even live a decent life alone and can't get a fucking job. A cunt who studied with me, got a job today for 11LPA INR (13K USD/YR) which is extremely good for India. Meanwhile, I can only get job a few job offers for (2K USD/YR), I mean what the fuck is this? Am I supposed to work 12 hours a day and six days a week for this, all while she goes around pilpuling her bosses and working for just 6 hours a day, 4 days a week?

This can't go on man, I can't live my like this, I don't know but this can't go on, this is wrong. I have legitimately not felt angry for like 3 years but today I really fucking am pissed of, my head hurts, I am just so fucking upset that I can't even cry, like what the fuck did I ever do to anyone to deserve this retarded fate.

I hate the fact that I have to put so much effort into tPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Do you think growing up with video games ruined me?

I can't help but get angry at how life is a roguelike game with a randomly generated starter character you only get to play once. Fucked up your health permanently through bad decisions? Too bad you have to live with it even if you now have a healthy lifetyle. Found a new passion in life? Too bad you are now too old to pursue it. Want to study math? Well too bad you were born with a low IQ…

I just hate how you can get locked out of certain routes in life as time goes on or they were locked from the start. I hate how you have no control over what thoughts you get so you can waste your youth doing dumb shit only to realize it once you are an adult and the damage has been done.

I should just focus on what I can change and on the future but I can't help but feel frustrated over this. I can't help but feel envy towards those who managed to be in the right place and make the right decisions to end up with an amazing life and be frustarted at my past self for being so careless.

Now i don't know if this is madness but can a person like really just be vexxed or cursed to never have a girlfriend ? It's the fact that even when you try it always seems to not go your way, it always goes wrongly, It's fucking insane how much tries you try yet it does not work, it's almost as if there is someone stopping that shit because it's fucking insane how one can keep trying even in any way yet he cannot succeed with getting a succubus.

Do you think there is really some fucking paranormal background to males not having the chance to get a girlfriend even though they do everything that seems to be accepted by Social standards and even break social standards just to get a girlfriend yet with no avail, Even the most handsome yet cannot get it, I remember there was a thread about how people are bound to be lonely well this is a continuation, Do you think there are some who are destined to never have a girlfriend even though it seems absurd ?

Is there anyway to break from this cycle ?

Any other Wizards deal with this borderline life ruining condition? I'm so sick of having this incurable disease that totally fucks my life; it's been 6 years now and the longest I've been able to maintain a decent sleep schedule (before midnight) is about a week. I know this is a total shot in the dark, but if anyone knows a way to combat this that isn't some meme-tier sleep hygiene advice it'd be much appreciated. Otherwise, please discuss your mental illness(s) and how they impact you in your day-to-day life.

There's nothing to do. Nobody to talk to. Nothing to experience in my prison-neighbourhood. I live in a multi dimensional prison and I'm slowly going insane. This thread will die while some faggot self improvement/coomer thread will hit bump limit.

Just share personal stories and feels in this thread I guess.

You always make threads of "I will never be pretty enough", "I will never have a job because I am ugly", "I am horrible :(". Everything related to physical appearance, and complexes. The truth is already unpleasant, and pathetic that men , and especially chaste men, give importance to something as trivial as appearance.

I'm a deformed freak with this condition, I never even got braces. And now, because I didn't look after my teeth, my entire right side is sitting on two teeth.

I have no money and a few years I'll have my jaw entirely sink in, and be struggling to breathe. I may as well kill myself for being such a deformed freak.

I don't even care about the looks, I just want to feel healthy in my face. I'm a fucking living pug dog but in human form.

I tell people I'm deformed, I'm fucked up, it's not worth it. And they just tell me people deal with worse, that I have to learn to cope with it. But I genuinely don't want to, I'm at the point where I'd rather not exist than exist like this.

I'm going to talk about surgeries and treatments for this.

Suicide general, - Discuss everything suicide related here.