/dep/ - Depression

Practice with truck simulator. I'm not kidding, practice, even using a controller and relax.

Learned how to drive in a manual and got stuck with an cheap automatic. Now I've forgotten how to use gears and the clutch so I guess I'll stick with auto. Definitely relieves some of the anxiety but not completely. Try and avoid driving wherever possible; the whole thing feels suicidal and dangerous. Didn't help that my instructor was ex-military and stressed me out even more. Nothing but bad memories of being on the road.

>>205985
This. I'm not so sure what I have is "anxiety" towards driving, but just knowing that there is a very high chance that I won't be able to maneuver a several-thousand pound machine around a corner.

>>201696
Driving seems extremely arrogant to me.
>you want me to control more weight than I can lift at speeds that I've not evolved to handle? Yeah I can do it.
The death toll proves me right, it's pure stupid arrogance.

i think that driving is too stresful and happens too fast for me

>>207012
Wordy*

>>203763
I don't know where you would get the idea that any of that is possible.
> You need to learn how to love yourself.
Impossible unless there is something about yourself that you could love

>>207012
Except it is incoherent in the chain of messages

>>207046
If you label a state as an "improvement", it is an assertion by your ego's belief system that you currently do not possess the state in question. By thinking of contentment as an "improvement" you are perpetuating the state of non-contentment.

>>207047
If the state of non-contentment is in some way less desirable or the result of flawed thinking than the state of contentment is an improvement.
If it is not less desirable then there is no reason to advocate for the other.

>>206808
Both times it took about a month for them to go away completely.

My brain zaps were mostly a distraction. They just made me feel weird every time I had to look at something different, i.e. move my eyes or head.

I don't drive, but I don't think it would've been that big of a problem. It's not a seizure, after all.

But that's my experience. As I mentioned, SSRI withdrawal symptoms vary greatly between people. Even brain zaps aren't uniform—they can be a little discomforting like mine, or a disorienting, vomit-inducing mess, or be absent completely.

>>206798
was on 150mg fluvox for many years. Saved my life but killed sexuality (mind you, this might actually be very useful side-effect! But my pernis also got dry and the scarce masturbation sessions became painful. Tried to stop several times unsuccesful, I became very impatient and awful to be around for other people. Also i think they call it here ' 'brainzaps'. A sort of feels like your lef or arm is asleep but then in your brain, bur more high energy and only for couple of seconds, but may times a day. Didn't bother me, it just was there. Anyway after several times tryinh to stop , I was succesfull. But now the anxiety is creeping back in. I was off them for two years and intend to stay off them, but I feel the demons inside of me coming for me again.

>>206913
I also was off meds for a while, started to feel horribly depressed again so I'm back on them.

OP I recommend that you don't stop but just switch medications to something else.

arent you supposed to take SSRI for 3 months max?

>>206928
lol nope

>>206827
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v79lVNKthCw

more like this.

>>206827
Thanks. I’m also for a hope that there is a God but I’m sure he hasn’t shown himself to us.

>>206827
>14:03
This hit me like a truck holy shit.

>>196239
same here, also on the ssri for may years and then slowly stopped. Also had the same only side-effect of a-sexuality. Now I am off meds for two years or so but the anxiety is creeping back-in. I will try to resist and fight it this time. based on my experience. Talk radio and watching Seindfeld and a absurd radio show in my country is what i watch / listen too when I have anxiety. I need to distract myself from my thought loops. You could say George Constanza is a life saver for me. Whatever works man.

>>204573
Actually fluoxetine is the real name retard,prozac is the brand.

>>204929
Yeah but isn’t it harder to throw away a high lifestyle for Buddhism then doing it when you’re poor?
Like is it better to be truly Good or to be evil and turn Good because of ones struggles and journey?

So I like playing chess. I can't help myself but getting angry about myself when I blunder games that should have been won. How would I ever get better without this triggered reaction? If I wouldn't care there would be no reason to learn. Then again there would be no reason to keep playing chess. Or for that matter to do anything. Isn't full detachment to its fullest degree just death?

>>206802
you will never be a 'deep blue' https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep_Blue_(chess_computer) so letting yourself get angry over a game is self defeating.
i understand what you feel, i've been there too many times myself.
you will live another day maybe you will see that its just a game and laugh so hard at the absurdity of being upset that you end up peeing yourself.
then you will have something to be upset about.
enjoy.

>>206802
How magnanimity is consistent with care
From Epictetus's Discourses

Things themselves are indifferent; but the use of them is not indifferent. How then shall a man preserve firmness and tranquillity, and at the same time be careful and neither rash nor negligent? If he imitates those who play at dice. The counters are indifferent; the dice are indifferent. How do I know what the cast will be? But to use carefully and dexterously the cast of the dice, this is my business. Thus in life also the chief business is this: distinguish and separate things, and say, "Externals are not in my power: will is in my power. Where shall I seek the good and the bad? Within, in the things which are my own." But in what does not belong to you call nothing either good or bad, or profit or damage or anything of the kind.

"What then? Should we use such things carelessly?" In no way: for this on the other hand is bad for the faculty of the will, and consequently against nature; but we should act carefully because the use is not indifferent and we should also act with firmness and freedom from perturbations because the material is indifferent. For where the material is not indifferent, there no man can hinder me nor compel me. Where I can be hindered and compelled the obtaining of those things is not in my power, nor is it good or bad; but the use is either bad or good, and the use is in my power. But it is difficult to mingle and to bring together these two things, the carefulness of him who is affected by the matter and the firmness of him who has no regard for it; but it is not impossible; and if it is, happiness is impossible. But we should act as we do in the case of a voyage. What can I do? I can choose the master of the ship, the sailors, the day, the opportunity. Then comes a storm. What more have I to care for? for my part is done. The business belongs to another- the master. But the ship is sinking- what then have I to do? I do the only things that I can, not to be drowned full of fear, nor screaming, nor blaming God, but knowing that what has been produced must also perish: for I am not an immortal being, but a man, a part of the whole, as an hour is a part of the day: I must be present like the hour, and past like the hour. What difference, then, does it make to me how I pass away, whether by being suffocated or by a fever, for I must paPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Spend more time at the gym.

damn, nothing?

i dont remember most things by default and i try to block the rest of it out so that i forget it too

Looks like you got an intrusive thought to deal with. Try this:

Label these thoughts as "intrusive."
Remind yourself that these thoughts are automatic, unimportant, and not up to you.
Accept and allow the thoughts into your mind. Do not try to push them away.
Expect the thoughts to come back again.
Continue whatever you were doing prior to the intrusive thought.

Try not to:

Engage with the thoughts in any way.
Push the thoughts out of your mind.
Try to figure out what the thoughts "mean."
Check to see if this is “working.'

>>206768
I agree with this. It takes a lot of patience but can work eventually. It is like meditation and meditation helps to exercise the mental muscle of mental control - focus on your breath for a strict schedule of 20 mins a day and try to quieten your mind by not feeding your thoughts.

>>206768
I have something very similar, it's never caused much bother but I'll still give this a go. Thanks.

Well, first of all, you're too young for this site. Secondly, everything you wrote is right, your life has no meaning, common people only care about money and status, you can't see "life in life" because you've left your delusional happy mind bubble for one damn second and now you can't go back, that's called getting old, you're starting to see reality as it really is.

Although you don't seem to have had a bad life, it looks like you're in the wizardly path but unfortunately you're about experience the full power of your teenie's hormones, so only one little impulsive decision can throw you back to a new delusional bubble. Anyways, do what you want, but keep in mind that reality awareness is another word for unhappiness.

Academia is cancer. It exists to indoctrinate, not to grow your prospects or intellect. I think that every person who's not a good little extroverted normalfag gets suicidal from high school these days. I know I did, it took me 4 years to recover. This is why there's so many school shooters in the news. People aren't meant to live in conditions like that, it's devolved to something resembling systematic psychological torture.

isnt one of the mods like 15 too?

different environment different mindset

I also something similar like this when reading about how massacre and rape was something that was expected for thousands of years. It's also more incredible to imagine billions of humans and all other lifeforms suffering and dying in pain throughout the eons.

It's not that hard. The problem is your mindset.

>>206707
You're more resilient than you think. I was a neet for 3 years and barely left the house, now I work in a dirty job. I'm having a 2 week break now, this is my last day. I can't even imagine going back to that place, but I know that I will adjust back to that lifestlye fairly quickly.

What really sucks is to suffer from a disease or being seriosly injured, which is the case with me now. I will kill myself if it doesen't get better. I don't understand how people who are paralyzed, disfigured, or suffer from other horrors, are able to continue living and in some cases even enjoy life.

They are resilient because they are optimists. They have things they kinda enjoy or look forward or want to do, so they have to endure discomfort for that purpose. My mindset seem to be changing into this type recently as I've recently picked up a new hobby. It's probably just a beginner's enthusiasm though so I could be wrong.

I can relate to all of this except the blaming society part.

I thought I had ADD but nope meds didn't help me despite normals taking them to help them study.

>>206665
I never tried ADD meds but various so-called nootropics that normals rave about elsewhere never did anything for me (at best, some of them gave me side effects).

>>206659
> Pushing past discomfort that I am unable to do.
I don't think there's even anything on the other side, other people benefit but for us it's nothing but discomfort forever. Everything has to go perfectly and then it doesn't matter anyway because you don't benefit or improve unless you are predisposed toward it.

I had this same problem, except it dealt with returning to my enraged temper rather than video games and anime.

I learned to stop trying to push past that wall and rather instead see it as a limit. It's ok to poke at it once in a while in terms of surpassing it, but trying to eradicate it altogether is basically trying to build Rome in a day.

>>206665
This. Society may have been a factor in shaping my shitty personality, but others have been through worse and came out normal.

It sucks when I'm to blame for my laziness, but it is what it is.

I try to carry myself through but in the end it's all the same for me, Tried different hobbies, get money from a part time job, try to at least keep my health up, but there's this force against me that's too strong. I can't survive here and retain any shell of myself if I somehow manage to by alone slaving away at some full time job giving me enough for a roof over my head. Plus I can't drive so add in the time of walking and what would be the point. When my parent goes and the rest of my resources dry up so will I. Everywhere I turn there is just another wall. Seems futile to even try at life anymore, just trying to enjoy what I have.

It possibly could, I am more likely to believe the nofap stuff is just christian nonsense.
Personally I have no sex drive and probably only masturbate once per month and am still depressed as heck.

no

It obviously does; not much more to say that everyone here doesn't already know and won't loathe to hear again for the umpteenth time.

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>>206683
so you should drink semen, at least your own?

>>206684
>>206683
Semen retention is ancient wisdom, predating Christianity by thousands of years. Look into Tantra, Shakti, etc.