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I feel so depressed, empty and constantly lost in my thoughts that I can't even focus on watching a movie or a show anymore and I can't enjoy any activity.




I really can't focus on anything. I can only read stuff online and once in a while watch a youtube video.
Nothing catches my attention and I'm constantly frustrated.
I'm always thinking, it's hard to fall asleep.


Yeah same


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You want to see pain? Swing by Meyer High on a Tuesday night and see the guys with testicular cancer. Now that's pain.

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I can't do anything lately. I have a pile of important tasks that need to be done but whenever I think about it my chest starts hurting. I wanted to buy some supplements and do some blood tests to see if my lack of energy is caused by something physical but I already procrastinated it all by a month. I think about trying SNRI since I read they help with physical discomfort, fatigue and anxiety but I want to make sure it's not anything else first because of all the bad experiences I read people have with SNRI.

I woke up just 4 hours ago after 9 hours of sleep, drank a small energy drink, took a legally prescribed stimulant and I still want to go to bed. But this restlessness won't let me sleep. I am permanently stuck in this limbo of restlessness and fatigue that won't let me focus on anything for more than a minute at a time.
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OP here. Got prescribed Ritalin and something that is similar to Adderall extended release but they basically feel like caffeine only with less anxiety and restlessness but it's still there and distracting me. Also didn't give me much motivation or ability to focus. I just don't know what's wrong with me.


I know I have legit conditions that call for occasional medications, but that doesn't mean I can go to a doctor and explain this to them


Uhh.. pretty sure all the stimulants you’re taking is making your anxiety and attention span worse. If you keep going like that I’m not surprised you can function at all.
I know that because I was the same way and now I’m fucked up.
So what you should really do is try and take some time out to relax while you still can and enjoy the ability to lie down and relax before that pleasure is taken away too. Don’t even think about your problems during this time and when you’ve taken your break you should try again and complete your tasks


Did you use to take ADHD (aka Ritalin) cause that can screw u up


No I used to drink coffees everyday I used to drink monster energy drinks I used to go to sleep at 6am and wake up at midday for a few weeks at a time and sometimes I’d skip a day of sleeping because I used to be so unfocused I’m studying for my university exams that I would study for longer rather than better


Sometimes I daydream what I would do differently if I had all the knowledge and memories that I do now back in High School. These daydreams always inevitably turn into terrible nightmares. I have knowledge of how terrible society will become. How incredibly stagnant it will be. How rare it will be to even find a page of dialog that I could connect with. I know that if I went back in time with the knowledge and memories that I have now, I probably wouldn't have the motivation and will to even finish High School. Whereas before in my ignorance I might have at least entertained a glimmer of hope, instead I would I know how trapped my personal circumstances really are. I would have no media to look forward to. I would have no future to look forward to.

Then the daydream ends, for a while I breath a sigh of relief, and then I realize that so much of the same daydream I went through applies to the present.


Happy 18th birthday. Lol. If I was young again and still had the knowledge I know now I’d still do the same things because I did the things I did for a reason.

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It's amazing how breeders love to go on about how compassionate they are for having children, but the moment a child indicates that they are something that their breeders find undesirable, the child is discarded like a broken toy. This demonstrates that breeders have children to mirror their own image, but yet they love to give off the impression that they are some kind of saint for forcing a human being into existence to serve their own desires.

I especially hate it when breeders of children with disabilities crow on about what martyrs they are. The child is the one with the disability, and they will likely have to suffer with it for the rest of their lives. But yet the breeders go, "Look at me! Pity MEEEEE for being deprived of a NORMAL child, and having a child like this instead!" They were the ones that had the child in the first place, and they could have prevented the situation entirely by not having a child at all. But yet they love to leech sympathy at their child's expense, showing to their offspring that their worth as a human being is dictated largely by their ability to reliably produce what is considered normal or desirable behaviour.
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Why would you try to discuss anything that is not just video games or anime on 4chan? That place is full with right wingers who aren't famous for having empathy or leading civilized discussions. Also the shortness of the post coupled with the anime image made it look like a low effort post.


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Because I don't play games and barely watch anime, but I read books.

>Also the shortness of the post coupled with the anime image made it look like a low effort post.

But I made other posts as well, such as this. I really wanted to discuss this topic with a father and I was just initiating a discussion with him.


Why would you bring anti-natalism up on a board dedicated to literature? And you also did this in the most retarded way possible; that's not to say that most of counter arguments weren't retarded, it's just that you didn't exert yourself to present it nicely and it comes off more as a random brainfart.
Also, why would you screencap your irrelevant 4chong shitposts that got you banned and posting them here, hoping to get some affirmation?


>Why would you bring anti-natalism up on a board dedicated to literature?
Because we talk about other things as well related to philosophy.

>why would you screencap your irrelevant 4chong shitposts that got you banned and posting them here, hoping to get some affirmation?

Because I was mad that my thread got deleted and I wanted to talk more about this. Yes, I'm being an irrational emotional cunt right now, I admit, but it's still related to this topic.


wow it's like /ck/ wiz 2.0

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Has anyone else here realized that their life was a mistake by either one, or both, of your parents? I realized this when I realized that my parents don't love each other. My mom married my dad without knowing much of anything about him, basically he was an insensitive weed addicted loser with anger issues, they had one kid together which was my sister and then my mom doesn't believe in divorce so then a couple years later they had me and I grew up with them arguing and yelling all the time and sometimes them abusing me for no reason, especially my dad who would beat on me a lot because I was a sensitive boy. Basically if my mom had the courage to tell this guy to go away then I wouldn't be suffering right now, but she played passive and let some loser impregnate her and now because of that I suffer abuse and incurable mental illness/anguish all the time. At least my mom could be straight with my sister, told her not to marry a dumbass loser like she did, but I'm still here, a big mistake spawned from a jerk and something pathetic.
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same fag here and I just want to add one more thing, something I hope can help, a tip for anyone who can relate to my posts and anyone in this thread, or just anyone struggling with depression in general. I find keeping some sort of routine helps, that no matter how shitty my life gets it helps to at least be showering everyday, getting dressed, going to the gym, waking at a reasonable hour and not sleeping too much during the day. So despite what I may be going through, I at least have the choice and control to live through it doing those things everyday.

Maybe thats more relevant for NEETS and the really hard cases, but when your life sucks and you have nothing going on, nowhere to be and no one, you tend to think that there is no point in doing those basic things and that it won't make a difference.


The day I realized how my life was fucked from the beginning and how all the "happy" moments were just an illusion that lasted nothing and were still surrounded by suffering… man that was hard. Existence is all shit, I wish I wasn't born


Yeah, I come to the conclusion that me being born was a mistake. I don't really feel like elaborating, especially since some people insist on trying to convince you that it's all your fault and that you can change when in reality if you get fucked with in your childhood it's all downhill from there and it doesn't get better.


It's really all determined the moment you're born. How good you look based on genetics, good or abusive parents, rich or poor upbringing, good neighbourhood or grow up around niggers etc.


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If $USERNAME is useless, they don't deserve to live. How come? No one wanted to be born. The parents wanted

I'm trapped here. No matter what I "choose", I'll suffer. Living is painful. So is dying

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If you see this thread and do nothing you're my kind of guy

Post an average humans daily routine.

Post a portal to relief of physical tension in the body must not be tied into hinduism, a sterilized form of yoga will suffice.

Post anothers' writeup on essential minerals, may or may not include vitamins, must include extensive research on all cofactors of minerals listed, must mention lithium.

Post stories of anti social people with or without insane pasts not being pressured when trying to coexist silently in norme situations.

question can anyone prove crazy homeless people are actually crazy?

Answer, is there a shortage of workers in any given sector that is threatening to collapse The Nation or foment a strike?

If you see this thread and do nothing you're my kind of guy.
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I don't quite understand what this thread means but recently I read that orgasm produces dark matter. The person in comment section asked what was going on with him: he had some headache, yellow light in his eyes but he decided to lay down and it ended. The author said that jiva (???) talked to him but he got scared and it went away. The movement is translated as Arian Christianity and the author is into Blavatsky who wanted to fuck almost a stranger when she was 17 only because he had knowledge about mysticism, spirituality or whatever. Regarded as a fraud. Also apparently Nibiru is invisible (lol).


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>this thread


Many people use the remains of plants to do minor organ transfers, these remains are somewhat dangerous because they contain the specks (completely and totally replace the food.) A food that is completely replaced by specks. The remains must be stored under water or they will degrade into sand grains (flies) they will fly around the house and cause minor disturbance/organ failure in the patient. Some even recommend the use of pesticide to detain the usage of these plants matter and animals in their food.


Designated schizo containment thread.


Under these conditions I think it is more advisable to leave it outside. Sometimes the weather makes it grow unnaturally and grow its roots straight into the bathtub. The roots penetrate the smooth tiles in the bathtub room and crack them apart to get to the ground. The roots do this to crack open the tiles completely and reach the dirty wet dirt underneath the bathtub. To prevent this growth I recommend using detergent or fertilizer on the tub growth rings and removing the seed pods before grafting them onto your arm. My group on Google 9 sometimes uses that. They say not to let the seeds inside your arm too long because even though it feels good they will start to grow roots into the bathttub and crack the tiles (ceramic) into the floor to get to the dirty muddy ground water.

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>And I, too, felt ready to start life all over again. It was as if that great rush of anger had washed me clean, emptied me of hope, and, gazing up at the dark sky spangled with its signs and stars, for the first time, the first, I laid my heart open to the benign indifference of the universe. To feel it so like myself, indeed, so brotherly, made me realize that I’d been happy, and that I was happy still.
i think of abjection and apathy as a sort of defense, like an immunity that builds up with exposure to disease or callus on ones hands as friction tears away at raw and pristine skin. try living your life from an outside perspective, ignoring externals and forming attachments only to yourself. it kills two birds with one stone, the depression and anxiety.


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I hear you OP and appreciate it more than i can express in this form

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 No.197762[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Are you addicted to something?

I believe that you can never fully overcome an addiction.

Alcoholics who manage to quit have to go to AA for life and still talk about not drinking every night after they've been sober for 30 years. Sorry but I can't see that as a success when you've made your entire life about sobriety.

Smokers that "quit" smoking never really quit, the cravings are always there even years later, and once in a while they give in to them. Statistics say that 97% of smokers aiming to quit fail within 8 days.

Fat people are the same, they go on a diet, they put weight back on. They can never just change lifestyle and maintain their weight because when they walk past a fast food joint and the smell hits their nose they can't resist.

You can get the addictive substance out of your body but the psychological addiction is hardwired and can't be undone. If you've had a cigarette with your coffee every day for 10 years, when you quit, even though you may not have any nicotine in your body you will still feel like something's missing.
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How can people not be addicted to alcohol? Just how?


It doesnt even make me feel good. Nausea and sadness.

Painkillers, benzos, however are amazing


At least you are not a soberfag.


I have done it IV before

>i'm afraid of doing it IV because if the feeling is too good i know i won't come back from that

stay away from needles


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Addiction is the last great marketplace in a declining society

[Last 50 Posts]

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>must be nice to sit home all day and do nothing

Is there any way to explain to parents that I am not having a good time sitting at home and don't really know what rest means? That for me sleeping for 9 hours doesn't make me well rested? That "doing nothing" means enduring headaches, anxiety and negative thoughts? That while for them watching a movie is relaxing for me it's a challenge to stay focused?

Or is this like explaining quantum physics to someone with a sub 100 IQ?


compare it to being trapped in a cage. explain to them being home when you're depressed is probably the worst thing that can happen to a depressed person


even when i was a NEET i was only sleeping only 4/5 hours a day and it's still the same shit today. just wish i would stay asleep for 7 hours.


Be glad they can at least comprehend that a life without obligation is a good thing, the average outlook is that suffering is meant to make you grow which is important for undefined reasons.


They think your life is all relaxing and fun stress-free, they don't know that you sob daily and have constant racing anxious thoughts and fears. they can't understand what it's like to be trapped in your house from agoraphobia for weeks and weeks with nothing at all to do except trying to forget your troubles in a shitty video game and casting out your diaries into anonymous forums, they'll never understand what it's like to be complete and utterly hopeless

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I basically never cried as a child or teenager. From 19-26, I can count on one hand the number of times I "cried," and it was usually something emotionally significant. I turn 27 in a several months. KHV neet, virtually no social life, no drivers license, morbid obesity, crushing debt, conversations with parents are akin to walking through a minefield, with deafening silence, or terrifying accusations, you know the works. Last couple month, I've begun to cry every day, several times a day. I'm also beginning to think about death, and idealizing suicide, at least in a very abstract sense, not concretely.
Am I beginning to lose it?
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I hadn't cried for a really long time until my cat died about 3 years ago and, even then, I only did it once, not long after it had happened. Just last year however, I cried a few times within a 2-3 month period, which was definitely unusually frequent for me, but then I went back to not crying until about two months ago where I started crying a lot again, relative to the past. I also have moments now where I wake up crying from a dream, where I also happened to be crying. Had something like that happen recently when I randomly dreamt about my dead cat, when within the dream I realized that fact as I was holding him, repeating how, "You're dead! Damnnit <insert name> you're dead! I wish you weren't dead.". Intensely focusing on how worthless, isolated and lonely I am seems to bring me to the point to tears a lot more easily nowadays, but it can still feel hard to do at times, even when I'm wanting the release. Within these last couple months, I've probably cried over ten times which to me at least is, again, a lot.


>I think crying feels nice and cathartic. I wish I could cry more often.

I'm almost 28 myself and, yes, I agree. It is nice and is pretty much the ultimate form of feeling sorry for myself in a very pleasing way that makes me feel lighter &, very briefly, at peace. By right I should be crying everyday yet, even though it happens a lot more, it's still hard to do unless I really hyper focus on how miserable I am, which itself is a common thing. I'm probably in a good middle ground though since, I'd assume, crying every day would get quite fatiguing and any sense of being briefly unburdened from myself would quickly vanish.


I haven't cried for nearly two decades, last time was when I was around 9 years old. Bullying at school, never-ending overtime work for parents, big brother growing up into his rebel phase where hanging out with his little brother is "uncool" and etc all came at once, and crying was replaced with hatred and anger. Every time since then that I felt like crying, before I shed a single tear I vent all those feelings via taking it out on something or someone - sometimes by massacring thousands of video games characters, sometimes by carving wounds into my flesh. I wonder whether crying would be more cathartic than inflicting pain or succumbing to bloodlust as a release, but by now I'm used to my current predicament too much to seriously consider changing it.


I cried as a kid when something unjust happened to me: breeder punishing me for something I didn't do, teachers taking the side of the bullies etc. Since nothing like that is happening anymore I'm not crying as much. Now it's mainly because of some feel-good anime or vn. Letting out your emotions feels good.


You've lost it long ago.


that's about one of the scariest things to think about. I already have a pretty abysmal self-esteem; to the point where I only leave my house a few times a year, and have borderline panic attacks seeing people I know, let alone strangers. (mother and father being exception.) Most people have big egos, and think more highly of themselves than others do. If I as a fucked up wizard also suffer form the complex, then it might unironically be gas time.

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