/dep/ - Depression

>>305955

>Do you know how frustrating it feels when you have been trying something for a long time, someone else starts and they eclipse you in short order?
It feels terrible

I know exactly how you feel and I want to tell you, I was in the same spot but I learned quickly. I realized, very early on, that I can only succeed if I fix things on my own terms. Something in my mind just refuses to cooperate if I adhere to a 'correct standard' set by others, I must have total control over the medium I'm working with and I must be the one to set the architectural rules. Because when you're that independent and you play by other people's game, you'll always lose for being outside of it.

I'm someone who learns very slowly as well. They say comparison is the thief of joy, but that's just ignoring the fact some people just take 100x longer to learn stuff and those of us like that are kind of concerned by it. I don't mind hard work, I can put in the hours, but I want some type of tangible results for it..

Let's say there's 3 different types learning a language, the goal is only broken conversational:

Type1: learns it in 6 months
Type2: learns it in 5 years
Type3: learns it in 50 years

I'm talking about a real effort too, not too sure how it goes learning languages but lets say 10 hours a week formal learning, and another 10 hours casual learning with tv shows and games etcc. How could you possible convince me to learn the language unless it was absolutely necessary for me if I know I'm a type3 person?

>>305955
Sounds like you may have "butter fingers" issue. You could practice some finger exercises to give your hands some neural boost.

On a side note. Today I learned some modern study say heavy exercises not only give you gains, but also make brains and nerves grow and make more connections.

I feel like I am cursed or something with how much misfortune I had in my life. Now slowly dying. I have also read about other people who mysteriously contract one misfortune after the other. maybe you are one of us

>>306013
what are you dying from?

>>305358
mom my problem isn't food my problem is that i'm so crippled by anxiety and hatred my stomach feels like a knot. mom i know it's hard for you to understand but once you slip out of society there isn't a way to get back in, just why the fuck would i care about what i eat? anything that i can swallow is fine i've nothing to live for and magic is spiritual not bodily

>>305358
THANK YOU!!!
because I have been *shunned into* eating vegan

I personally would like to see more talked about SSRI long term effects, how to come off them and something about just taking one dose has permanent changes, I really want to learn about that.

>>306016
You taper off slowly and it's extremely debilitating and painful. You're incapacitated for literally 2-3 months and have residual mood swings for a full year. This was me with 150mg venlafaxine after 5 years on them, and it was the same for my sister who went off it in order to have a child.

It's so painful that most people with full time jobs, a precarious financial position can't do it. It feels like you'll never be right again and you start doubting, but you do manage to make it through.

You can't ever go back on them though. Once you're off they stop working forever for some reason, at least it did for me.

>>304887





>>304890
>I have come to the realization that what I suffer from is not schizophrenia but psychotic depression and the only way to treat my symptoms is to treat the depression


I hear 80% of schizophrenics have auditory hallucinations. Wonder if you don't have some "scary dude voice shouting at you" to begin with.

Also, if you're a big dude and sleep on a sofa, then you're doing it wrong. Get a matress.

>>305966
Teaching is the most soulless job out there. If it ain't agriculture gunmaking, it's worthless

>>305968
Silly wiz, it should be "agriculture, gunmaking"

>>305968
>growing guns out of the soil?
Gunpowder can be made with nitrates washed from the soil, and carbon burnt from its foliage.

>>305880
Would you elaborate on that a little? The technique I mean.

>yet personally if I would reflect the times in my life where I was thinking nonstop there are aspects of it that I miss like simply having an extensive coherent thought process and coming to a conclusion that seemed like the truth.

I tried writing about how we might diverge here, but I seem to fail at making a point. I hope I manage to get it across somehow.

I personally am not stuck on philosophical things where a truth or a semblance of it can be reached through reason. I'm stuck in mental loops related to decisions that need to be made in life to progress.
Every decision, every step you take has an opportunity cost. If your life is not really all that nice and you aren't all that capable, making the wrong ones is too costly.
Making no decision is also costly, but not as terrifying as making the wrong one.

Unfortunately if you are "traumatized" enough by your own history of incompetence you'll end up paralyzed whenever a decision needs to be made.
I'm stuck in a very zero sum / permanence mindset where I need to be sure every step is optimal before I take it.
Paralyzed because there are no such steps to take in my situation unfortunately.
I try to get out of it by just committing to something the second a sufficient impulse presents, like buying new equipment because the old one has rotted or failed etc., but often still end up regretting it, because the thing bought sucks despite months of research.

This applies to everything.
What career path to pick for a 30 year old exNEET with failing health? I can maybe finish one course in something if I put my all into it, but if I pick the wrong one and drop out for the 5th 6th or 7th time depending on how you count it I wont get another shot. I wont give myself another shot.

Decisions are hard and I envy people who can make one and stick to it because reality shows that most paths when walked long enough can bless you with success and satisfaction of some kind.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>305886
As a wiz from a country with free-but-red-tapey medical aid, I pretty much should start nagging for help NOW.

>>305907
Yeah better start now rather then when the pain becomes unbearable.
After all these years the only benefit I see in having socialized health care is that the private versions are well, not quite affordable, but not completely out of reach for those of meager means.
If you are in Eastern Europe you can just soft-bribe the doctors to get in faster and cheaper than going full private.

>>305911
Oh! I havee a spinal doctor here, who works both ways so… maybe…

>>305912
Yeah those are the ones that can "help" you most often.
Like you go to one of his private visits, pay with cash, no receipts or any papers for that and I got an MRI appointment for the public system in no time at 1/10 of the cost.
It's bullshit, but it's how the world works sadly.
I wish they didn't ban "gratitude money" or whatever you'd call it in English. Basically giving envelopes with cash to doctors to grease the wheels.
It used to be common public practice. Now you have to be a normie to navigate these situations properly. I struggle quite a bit with these unspoken things.

>>303766
thanks

>>299707
>Spend more time at the gym.
>Buy Bitcoin.

You do neither of those things.

This is another reason I want to die by train I hope at least one normie realises how evil they all fucking are but seeing gore for years i saw no empathy just them cheering for the triump of darwinism such is the filthy world

>>304170
Yes I do.

>>305869
No you don't (jk)

>>305576
not much curious about it. lainchan users really are fucked up in the head and sure as hell their approach to life is often unwizardly.

>>305314
"You are very smart for your age!"

I remember a teacher telling me this once when I was 15. I still sob whehn I think about it.

>>305590
kek wizbro same story. academically i was one of the most successful students in the history of my school. look where it got me. haven't even a job

>>305576
Lainchan.org has been down two times so maybe you'll get to laugh pretty soon.

>>305576
Guess you can start cackling tomorrow: lain's site has been… well, lain. Probably just a hibernation. Bear style.

<It's not just you! lainchan.org is down.
<Last updated: Feb 16, 2026, 8:46 AM



>>305554
Brace for impact!

>>305713
>Why would you be surprised?

Because 1 hour of texting could be communicated with a 3 minute phone call. I remember some kids would sit there texting from home while the house phone was right next to them.

It was $20 for 500 texts per month back then, and people were burning through them by week 2.

>>305824
It's actually based as shit the corporate sleaze of collectables is dying off. 80s cartoons were glorified toy commercials and our boomer parents were rightly disgusted at the level of brainwashing they achieved over kids. They didn't understand Yugioh or Pokemon entirely, but they had an intuition as to how cynical it all was paying $30 for a deck (that's like $60 in today's money). They begrudgingly used to go along with it.

I remember there was some viciousness and nastiness at school behind it all too. Wealth differences, which were minimal or unnoticed for kids, became exacerbated in a mean fashion when some kids had parents that could dump hundreds into the hobby while others didn't. There was lots of stealing, fights, accusing others of having "fake" cards.

Don't other millennials find it pathetic how much of our nostalgia is tied up to actual corporate products and toy commercials? At least when the boomers were playing cowboys and indians on the playground, it wasn't drafted up in some Hasbro office as a way to fleece money off their parents.

>>305722
My opinion is, our generation should not have been "wired" SO CARELESSLY

>>305826
Yup! Grandpa Joe always could've brought a 3$ "tommy gun" toy to the party XD

Funny tricks for OP to try.
From someone who tried to watch SEL when they aired it.

Try logging out a little bit by:

1)use some old smartphone as your offline device (Gutenberg Project books, old books, .pdf of Popular mechanics magazines off Archive.org)

AND

2)set your main smartphone, your online device into silent mode on schedule (Do Not Disturb mode on samsungs and alike allows scheduling auto-enable and auto-disable schedule in pairs, say 22:00-07:00)

3. Check your EMR levels in your room and test your EMR sensitivity. What if you are constantly being affected by your Wi-Fi router? Try putting it into another room…

4. Get a y3k-styled chromed mp3 player, maybe?

>>305893
I think you may have far-sighted eyes. Which means you need reading glasses.

Regards, a near-sighted person who needs regular glasses.

>>304935
My diet for December has been:
more fish (good?)
more soda (bad?)
more beans, lentils cabbage (?????)
no meat
(inb4 soyboy) no soy also
no diary (seems to help?)
no spicy food also

>>304012
Ahahaha! Thanks for a hint, fren! Because I've been avoiding dairy products altogether for a month AND my burp problems have gone - even though my fizzy soda cola intake was awfully high yesterday. Havent it been for your hint, I wouldnt have noticed how smooth my last month was


regards, this very guy who've been complaining of being forced to lent - IT SEEMS TO DO TANGIBLE GOOD


i take i need to only eat dairy in moderation or… well,abstain from it,going full soiboi (im wizard-aged already anyway)

i have same sympthoms two years ago. punking, panic attacks, nauseous, shortness of breath, sinus tachycardia, feel like someone holding my throat. urine and blood test were normal and doc said so healty.

then i realized my throat get irritated especially in the morning. its due to silent reflux. im in diet for 3 months. i have eliminated cigarettes, coffee, and chocolate from my life.

>>304944
As someone who both drank coffee and ate chocolate before feeling irritated/mad/uneasy, I say:


Thank you, dear wizard friend. I will avoid eating big portion of chocolate in one go this year.

>>304936
>no diary

*No dairy [products]

selffix

Alright, Silly Bean, time to shake off those mental stalkers and *actually* make some moves! Here's your mission, should you choose to accept it. This isn't just about "wooing a gal," it's about reclaiming your life and kicking those inner demons to the curb. Consider this your "Operation: Get Out of Your Head and Into the World" checklist.

Phase 1: Clear the Runway (Mental Prep)

* [ ] Acknowledge the Stalkers: They're there, you know it. But they DO NOT control you. Write down their "greatest hits" – the negative thoughts, the fears, the doubts. Then, next to each, write a *counter-statement* – a positive, empowering truth. (e.g., "I'm not worthy" becomes "I am worthy of connection and happiness.")
* [ ] Therapy (Highly Recommended): Seriously. Talking to a professional about your anxieties, insecurities, and those relentless mental stalkers can be a game-changer. Find a therapist you click with. This is your secret weapon.
* [ ] Daily Mindfulness/Meditation: Even 5 minutes a day of focused breathing or meditation. This trains your brain to be present and to *observe* your thoughts without getting swallowed by them.
* [ ] Identify Your Value: What are you *good* at? What are you *passionate* about? What qualities do you bring to the table? Make a list. Remind yourself *why* someone would want to be around you.
* [ ] Self-Compassion Practice: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Make mistakes? That's okay. Don't beat yourself up.
* [ ] Reframe "Stalkers" as "Negative Self-Talk": This helps you to take control.

Phase 2: Build Your Foundation (Self-Improvement)

* [ ] Physical Health: Exercise regularly (even just walks!). Eat relatively healthy. Get enough sleep. This makes a HUGE difference in your mood and confidence.
* [ ] Social Skills Refresher: Read books, watch videos, or attend workshops on building relationships and conversation skills. Practice makes perfect.
* [ ] New Hobbies & Interests: Find things you genuinely *enjoy*. This makes you a more interesting person and provides opportunities to meet others who share your passions.
* [ ] Dress for Success (Or, at Least, "Not Sloth" Mode): Start paying attention to your appearance. Not to impress others, but to feel good about yourself. Clean clothes, a decent haircut… it can make a difference.
* [ ] Clear Social Media (Optional, but Might Help): Clean uPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>305781
>start recording me whenever I react

Use very high-pitched Hz sound that interferes with microphones yet cannot be caught by human ear. I thing there is a device for that.

>a recording of me
AIslop
Your defence line? As a wizard who prolly needs a lawyer over "defamation" at this point? AIslop may be one of the defence lines.

There is a site to slap a Sоrа АІ watermark on a vid.

Bonus points if you add a little АІ filter.

>>305781
Also, check if your given name or surname or both *sound* Jewish and if you have *some* facial features of a Jewish person - say, an Ashkenaz jolly fella. Might be a literal case of anti… well, you know.

>>305781
Sorry you're going trough this, my friendu. I've never been dogpiled or gang-stalked to that extent, but I'd strongly suggest you look into some professional psych help for this kind of situation.

> Back when I was dealt with bullying and some light stalking in school, it was all start by a "friend". I knew his whole family, his issues, his insecurities - and more importantly, his address and bank info. Since I was younger, I didn't know how to ask for help or get even. Honestly, I don't even care anymore, not looking for revenge or anything like that. That scumbag is a total junkie now and is about to get clip*ed by a dealer anyway, lol.

>>305843
Not lie: If I wanted to, I could scrape all ther data online - social midia, pics, inner circle, phone numbers, addresses, banking info - and dup it all on a dark forum. People play good money for that kind of doxx. I could even use AI to cook up some deep fakes to wreck their reputations. I'd start a burner page targeting the top studentes at my high-school and let them spread the word about the absolute filth these people do around town. Of course, I'd have to be smart about it and cover my tracks, 'cause this isn't just fake - it's life-ruining territory – I once wrote this topic in my diary. Hate makes u want to do horrible things. But putting human trash in ther place feels like a full time job.

> Just my story, though. I'm not inciting anything. Like I said: get some professional help. Stay safe out there.

>>305757
What did your genetics do? Make you retarded, deformed, short?

>>305759
>>305762
I'm a mystery meat (literally hailing from godforsaken central asian turkic territory and half-white), so I look like a bastardized-randomized skyrim character, I couldn't form a sentence until I was 4, I was diagnosed with selective mutism (+ social anxiety disorder, but I probably have avpd and/or autism) and I'm generally speaking severely limited in my abilities. Emptiness is the only consistent feeling I ever experienced, I don't have hobbies, can't be motivated to even play just a simple game or watch a movie. I'm completely smooth-brained, probably on the edge of retardation if not actually retarded in the medical sense.

>>305761
My body starts scratching painfully if I engage in too much physical activity due some skin auto immune disease I have

>>305768
With this amount of self awareness, even if all you say is a totally accurate assessment, you are perhaps just slightly dumb at worst. Retardation would be what you see on tiktok. Cooking food in the plastic. Cooking tinned food in the tin on the stove. Not looking before crossing road. Trust me, there are really stupid people out there

I still have ptsd from high school, when a succubus laughs somewhere nearby I still subconsciously feel that it's directed at me, thankfully my life has changed a lot since those days

In other words maybe you'll become more wise and will grow out of it, the process of acquiring wisdom can be painful, even wotan had to hang upside down for 9 days and nights to acquire wisdom

>>305768
I've talked to so many people online and every second mixed person I've encountered has some sort of health problem. My mixed friend at school used to have his earwax leak out of his ear in a liquid and ruin headphones with it. And a lot of the mixed-race people I know IRL too have a lot of suicides or mental illness in their families.

With asian/white mixes there's a lot of skin disorders. Things like constant rashes or blocked pores.

I just don't think mixing is healthy like that. In the past sure, it was fine because natural selection would take care of the problems before an ethnogenesis took place. But these days nah, it's not like that.