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 No.301013[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Chronic physical pain, insomnia and povery, edition
Previous thread >>299661
303 posts and 53 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302189

>>301715
What you're experiencing is a sort of realization that absolutely nothing is under your control, and trying to exert control is suffering. It's a common realization/doctrine in many spiritual and mystical texts for a reason, and 'letting go' has actually given me more peace of mind.

Upon letting go, you'll experience a sort of existential dread because your ego has stopped clinging and is beginning to die, so the real you is emerging. You really only need to endure bravely, feel and be patient.

I urge you to continue down this path. I am in this path aswell and it hasn't been easy, but it's the only path I have left to walk on. I am undergoing this journey through deep rest and non-striving.

 No.302456

>>301736
I can't believe that I'm reading the "nobody:" meme on wizardchan. It's really the end of everything. The new generations have invaded. Which if you think about it, it's totally normal, after all.
The problem is that we oldfags are still alive. Humans should die decades earlier.
It's all wrong.

 No.302457

>>301868
you wish

 No.302458

>>302456
Whiny cunt sees a non-ancient meme and thinks Wizchan is being taken over by zoomie woomies. "It's the end of this place" he laments, only contributing sage'd posts about how much he dislikes it here.

 No.302790

>>302456
>>302458
Zoomers are nearing 30 though


[Last 50 Posts]

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 No.299368[Reply]

How do you guys deal with fatigue, if at all. Some days are better but just when you think you're beginning to get a grip again you just wake up and know exactly that you landed back at the bottom of the hole again. Everything is a herculean effort, even typing this out my eye lids are heavy despite being only late afternoon and me having slept for at least 8h last night. No matter what steps I take, sleeping properly, eating better, hell I even started doing some basic exercise every day to get the blood flowing a bit. None of it matters. All of this hard work and it's completely meaningless because I can't seem to get better in a consistent way that matters.
Yet I have to work to live and try my best to finally finish my degree, hopefully before I'm 30 or my university kicks me out. On days like this it's like I've lost 50IQ points and I'm barely functional. I have to keep my living space in a state of acceptable cleanliness. Do any of you guys have any tips on how to make it more bearable?
24 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302036

>>301998
>it sickens me, go back to reddit !
Apologies.
Oh silly me for I have forgotten depression can be cause by several various things

SCH, brain damage from physical damage, exposire to neurotoxins, exposire to heavy metals, various stuff have "depression" listed as one of the symptoms.


still, my point stands: in my case, my /dep/ zone appears to be the result of my mother not feeding me the right food.

 No.302142

pains in my arms and legs, brainfog and trouble thinking clealy, nightmares. doctors are useless unless you want to get fucked up on pills. think about suicide everyday

 No.302143

I read somewhere that it's just best to go with it yet not get too lazy.
There's a saying that has both a good and a bad meaning: a rolling stone gathers no moss.
Good because you're open minded and dont want to be one with nature (hence why you're rolling).
Bad because, in some cultures, moss is a sign of substanance and belonging with said nature (which you cant gather because tbe rolling wont let you settle down).
But it's all subjective in the end.
(As in I can feel bipolar irritants preparing their "contradictions" like they always do -_-)..

 No.302145

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i was having a monster and a few cans of other soft drinks daily. i noticed when i get caffeine from these drinks they wake me up for about 10 minutes if only and then i crash. this didnt used to happen years ago, but i was also never quite this depressed. im gonna try quitting caffeine to see if things change but i doubt it.

ultimately its this: my life sucks and i feel shit, so im tired and cant do shit. i know what the source of my misery is but i cant solve it, ive been feeling this way on and off for 14 years, so basically over half my life, in that way its more me than me. who is me if not the constant self-destructive thoughts and general malaise thats defined my little free trial existence? maybe i should meditate and keep a gratitude journal X)

the only answer i can seem to come up with is i need to force myself to do something which might actually be good for me in a more real sense than just vague "this would be good" or "i should do this" but i dont know what. everything seems so pointless, even when i know doing anything is objectively less pointless than sitting around being miserable. it doesnt matter. the grief i feel about my life and situation is too hard for me to operate above. anyway my eyes are getting heavy again so im done. enjoy this waste of text.

 No.302146

>>302145

>i was having a monster and a few cans of other soft drinks daily. i noticed when i get caffeine from these drinks they wake me up for about 10 minutes if only and then i crash. this didnt used to happen years ago, but i was also never quite this depressed


Relateable! Used to be the same for me, say, 3 years ago.

By the way… Quitting coffee at once, "cold turkey", is a bit risky, you may get a headache and such.


Taking 3-4 days of vacation to crash on a sofa, maybe watching funny cartoons from yer childhood without thinking, why they arent funny now…


….you your energy supply will improve


also
buy more real meat (liver also counts) to resupply your body's "unreplaceable" aminoacids reserves

also
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


 No.299408[Reply]

I've heard a lot about "fear of missing out"/"fomo". But I have a different kind of fear that doesn't really make sense in my mind: a fear of keeping up with things, or, a fear of catching up.

For example: Many years ago I played internet mahjong a lot. But eventually I stopped playing for a few months. Now, any time I consider playing again, I get paralyzed by this irrational fear. I think things like "it's too late for me to get back into this". And, of course, the fact that this fear stops me from catching back up only makes this fear grow larger and larger.

I once had a small youtube channel but it has been so many years since I uploaded anything, I feel like "it's too late for this, I missed the boat, what's done is done".

I know this fear is irrational but I still am held back it.
Does anyone relate to this fear AT ALL?
I am bad at describing this so this might not make any sense at all.
5 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.301755

hmmmmmm


thats may be why i never buttcoined in 2012 or 2013 or 2014


(jk i was stripped of money)

 No.301793

please kill me please kill me please kill me

 No.302114

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>>299412
oh look, you have built a bridge between "can't have my pleasure hormones, no fuel" and "can't have my pleasure hormones, no neural signals" theories in one

 No.302115

>>302114
*in one go

 No.302122

>>299408
I have this problem too. It's probably because I have low self esteem which leads me to get discouraged and give up easily.


 No.298200[Reply]

The process of birth is an humilliation ritual.
The process of growing up is an humilliation ritual.
The process of death is an humilliation ritual.
Through all these process the individual is humilliated, his spirit shattered into pieces. At the end there's nothing but an empty shell. We're born alone and we die alone and the universe is constantly teasing and humilliating us. The human experience is that of pain and suffering. Births are painful, deaths are painful. Demoralized, disenfranchised, humilliated, broken. Our lives are misserable and only the sweet release of the endless void could save our soul from the torment of existence. I loath humanity just as much as I loath myself and my own existence. Afraid to live and afraid to die. Pathetic husk rotten inside.
6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.300214

>>298200
At least I can cling to the tiny consolation of knowing I was spared the grips of the ultimate Western humiliation ritual; circumcision.

 No.300425

>>298247
I can't comprehend how a person with healthy family relationship, who can rely on his parents, and his parents can rely on him, and they all have a strong bond of friendship and support eachother, would refuse to make a child. A child which would make his life more safe, pleasant and comforting because he knows that when his time comes, his child will take care of him.
If you're a literally homeless or nearly homeless, feel hopeless, depressed and without any way to improve your life then sure, I get why you don't want children.
Life has it's ups and downs, but children are there to help us make more happy moments, not bad ones. Or am I wrong?

 No.300426

>>300425
>his child will take care of him.
That is an immoral, selfish assumption and burden to place on an independent human. The child must be free to do as be pleases.

Secondly, barely anybody has the social and financial resources you are assuming. Children are extremely expensive in terms of both time and finances. Even if you're a multi-millionaire they will be significant sacrifices to be made.
Personally i hate children so it would not improve my life. To me they are fucking unbearable, loud, dirty, ugly, annoying.

 No.302112

>>300425
oh look

acephobia XD

 No.302113

I blame right-wing politicians for all my suffering and pain, they prohibit drugs and assisted dying


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 No.299167[Reply]

It seems I have no other choice, unfortunately. Because of the lack of jobs where I live and my family now turning my life into hell because they openly despise me, I can't see any other way but to join the army and do at least one year of military service, given that it's the only job that practically always is open for literally anyone, and to get in you just have to want it.
I'm not even "patriotic" nor anything, I just want to leave my parents house and survive, also no, my country is thankfully not at war. Do we have any other wizards who are also considering joining the army?
34 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.300202

Planning on joining the USMC, same reason as you. Only difference is I don't think I'm smart enough to do anything else except be a grunt. I'd rather do it over Army Infantry because atleast I'd probably get deployed.

 No.300491

Entire military is a bunch of entitled wellfare kings

 No.301829

>>299901
It was the shittiest time of my life. I think if you’re on this website you’re not gonna fit in at all. If you’re going homeless or something it might be worth it but I dunno. I’m a nutcase after going through the navy.

 No.302028

>>299171

>Damn, im not OP but I alwasy wondered what the fuck goes through the head of people saying "they will take anyone in the army!" yeah and then theres people like you and probably me as well. I am not saying this with the intent of ofending you, since I included myself in that. Its just that I find it weird how some people can go through life, not be diagnosed as openly cognitively impaired, and yet still fail at a job where supposedly literally anyone can succeed.

>I know Id be kicked out from the army too

I think I would be just the guy to be "accused of SOMETHING SOMETHING" to due the part where I just can't think the way a regular normal dude from El Armpito does - which would lead to a) not understandig "normal" slang words; b) sticking out "like a sore thumb" due to my "smartassery", "smartypants" behaviour and c) "trying to look better than I am" complex" /wiz/ tier behaviour.


also d) not being able to laugh at jokes and pranks

 No.302360

>joining the army
I so much want to kill everyone who posts this crap in all kind of sites


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 No.300995[Reply]

I 'm n't suicidal but i realized even if i kill myself my family would not be effected that much, i never had a good relationship with any of them at all, not saying that they don't love and care for me at all, but they would recover after a short while, there's n't much to miss about me or that much to grieve upon over my loss.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.301011

>>300995
I do sympathize regardless, they truly failed as family. They sound like horrible people.

 No.301979

>>300995
I'm in the same boat, I've always been a detriment so roping would benefit family in the long run once they get over it. I saved the image you posted OP it's beautiful.

 No.301980

my mom finally stopped gaslighting me that im handsome/good looking
on one hand i am glad i don't have to listen to the lies anymore
on the other i know it's truly over at this point
i think at this point my only option is to grow a beard and have a shag/bangs to look like an inbred southerner

 No.301987

I don’t think she died in the end, it was heavily hinted at tho, the truth is always depressing

 No.301994

>>301980
I'd rather get bullied than lied to by my own mother, I'm happy she called me fat and ugly as a child so I coped with reality pretty quickly. But now I'm skinny as shit.

>>301987
life is depressing I've had to rewire my brain it took years to escape reality like I do. I've seen people drop over dead in the physical world. Sadly death in "fantasy" hits just as hard to me as in the physical human world. Everything just hurts so much…my god why


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 No.300101[Reply]

>get into f2p game
>force myself to grind every day for "free" rewards which money wise translates to like a 0.01$ hourly wage
>get emotionally invested into ranking up when it means nothing since I am not trying to become a pro or a streamer
>don't quit even though I am clearly not enjoying it
>all this time and nerves wasted doing something I don't enjoy that doesn't even pay money when I could be doing countless of other fun stress-free things (not even talking about productive)

what the flying fuck is wrong with me?
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.301941

Lol i grinded like 6 hours a day after work for a perfect setup to complete a perfect stat set. It's funny It just needs to roll 0~10 3 times, I just need 3 10's and of course it needs to be split into the right stats, there was only STR END DEX INT SPR, why on earth could I not get the perfect set? Stat corruption? I probably farmed well over 10k items none were perfect

 No.301964

>>301941
{0;1;2;3;4;5;6;7;8;9;10} is an 11-element array

The probability of rolling 10 out of 10 is 1/11


The probability of rolling 10 out of 10 ==3 times in a row== is 1/11*11*11 which equals 1/1331

 No.301965

>>301941
Aside from the 1/1331 chance, you have an array of 5 stats

3/5 chance to hit the right stat on the first roll
2/4 chance to hit the right stat for the second roll
1/3 chance to hit the right stat for the third, final roll

boom

(3*2*1)/(5*4*3) chance of getting an item with the right stats

 No.301966

>>301964
>>301965
6/60*1331 chance, basically. out of 13310 tries. IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND.flv

 No.301981

>>300101
Try Factorio's main campaign, see if the pleasant steady progress of putting something together towards a "tangible" goal in that context has the same effect on you.

if it does, then you're a dopamine microdose addict - if it doesn't, then you're vulnerable to the specific art/music/etc exposure and should arrange your life accordingly.


 No.301173[Reply]

First things first: I don't ask for comments how bad antidepressants generally fuck you up long time and make how all of them you a zombie. You can save this critique for other threads.

Does anyone else here have experience with it?
I take it for two weeks and have absolutely no negative side effects and it clearly does not make me zombie like. It also doesn't change my personality and it doesn't make me sleepy, if anything I feel notably less fatigued. Now after two weeks I do sense some relief, purely existing and waking up is feeling less harmful and overwhelming. That's all I'm really asking for. Worth a shot if you like me struggle with suicidal thoughts for over a decade but fail to actually go through with it imho.
11 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.301936

>>301504
the 5-htp part sounds interesting, as a box of 5-htp pills cosos under 10$


in fact, L-carnitine was used as a depression treatment… that is, until someone botched a bunch of those and in mere 4 days, released Prozac, SSRI class drug.

 No.301937

>>301184
>Meth doesn't hit all ADHD havers the same.. just like caffeine puts some to sleep


AFAIK, additional caffeine dilates one's blood vessels, hence causing the feel of sleepyness.

 No.301949

ive been taking wellbutrin too for about 3 weeks, it hasnt done shit…

 No.301963

>>301173
>Does anyone else here have experience with it?
NO
in my area, going to a psychiatrist is a massive risk as in "YOU'RE A SCHIZO DUNNO WHICH TYPE BUT YOU'RE A SCHIZO SIMPLE AS"

 No.302361

>>301175
lol you talk as if SSRIs actually work and are not placebo, lmao.
Otherwise you would stand absolutely correct. But that's not reality. Even in the rare cases when they give you some benefits, these regress after a year or so because of tolerance.


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 No.301397[Reply]

How do I make a "backup" of legal, medical, economic, etc- instructions in case I, indeed, suddenly die of any random cause on any given day? Things such as: DNR orders\status , stopping myself from having my organs harvested whilst Im alive (organ "donation"), stuff such as ,in my case, declaring I will NOT have a funeral or even burial, Im dead don't waste cash in me, let the State deal with my corpse, or what to do with my investments\ savings\ funds\ belongings.
Do I write it all on a pendrive, and tell a few people of high trust to just read that document if I die?

 No.301954

d e p e n d s



well, you pretty much should make your "will", also, fill up an "urgent medical information" card (blood type, known allergies, this or that)


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