/dep/ - Depression

Alcoholism and drug dependence has gone way out of hands. I can't control it anymore.

Wagecucking has been bad, my supervisor keeps tabs on every single fault I make. Or instantly assumes a mistake. This started some months ago when we got into an argument. I am started getting scolded everyday multiple times and this has a very negative effect on me.

I've confided some people I genuinely trust that I am feeling more depressed and tired than before. That thing will only go worse for me. Deep down I am likely to attempt suicide, at 26. My mom just lets me hug her no questions at 26, for minutes. She was physically abusive until I was 25. She punched my face, left me breathless, forgot to take her ring from her punching hand.

This succubus I hate, now I cling so hard to her. I hate life so much, you have no idea.

knowing everything you do in third world will be worhtless makes like exhausting and makes wageslaving incredibly hard

syrian refugees who get handouts in europe earn more than neurosurgeons here

i don't understand how third worlders work so hard. especially the smart ones who study 10+ hours a day to ace the university exam so they can become doctors and earn 500$ / month only to get murdered when child of two inbred retards dies from genetic illness

so no, its better to be a small fish in big pond than to be a big fish in small pond, unless of course you are the biggest fish(sultan)


any other third worlders here?

Anybody here has tried to commit suicide but failed and survived it? How was that experience? Did you change your thoughts or anything after that?

I'm genuinely curious

>If there is someone you really hate, that did something awful to you, I think that you should be able to legally kill them.

Where's the harm in killing somebody that fucked your life? Other people might hate them too, and that means you're doing a public service getting rid of these people. And as we all know, public service is for the greater good, therefore truly good.

I don't see the difference in murdering an animal and murdering a human. I'd never kill an animal personally unless it trying to hurt me so why not applying the same for humans as well.
The state is too biased and slow to take care of these issues. A lot of people suck and they deserve to die, so the world would be better without them. I bet it would feel great.

Also, we all know that most single mothers destroy the lives of their sons, so they should all be murdered as well. The children should also die, so they don't become future inepts. We need to put this planet in order again.

And if you don't know, murder is already legalized, but only for the super rich.

If you have money and are able to find good enough lawyers, you can get away with anything. This is an economic injustice which needs to be rectified. So murder should be legalized so that everyone, rich or poor, can defend themselves against these super rich without being punished.

The super rich should also all be murdered since they are the main reason for wageslavery, which creates worldwide misery. They control the law, so you can't trust in the law to bring true justice.

It is my belief that child abuse is a positive thing that we wizards should encourage. Reasons are as follows:

1. Child abuse creates wizards. Most of us wizards here were abused as children. If we were not abused we would likely develop into mindless normalfag npcs. It is a fate worse than death to be a normalfag, and so the pain that we went through as children has ended up helping us in the long run, saving us from being bound to the normalfag wheel of reproduction and death.

2. Child abuse creates realists. By being exposed to pain at an early age like this it quickly dispels the childish illusions that stupid people believe. Abused children grow up to be prudent adults. If you have a child that is coddled all its life it would likely become a foolish optimist who lives in fantasies of good will and altruism. These people will end up consumed by predators.

3. Child abuse makes people hate their parents. All independent wizards must eventually kill their parents, either metaphorically or literally. All parents are normalfags and loving a normalfag makes you a normalfag. Wizards are given the chance to be free from familial fetters through child abuse, we can spit on our parents coffin at their funeral and are immune to suffering granted from being tied up in normalfag relations.

Of course there is always the risk that the wizard will end up being unable to endure the crucible, but that is a justified risk in by opinion.

What do you wizards do all day to pass the time? Personally for me it's becoming harder and harder to just consume media, especially that which contains succubi in them.

So I met this guy on a rizon irc chat three years ago. We both share niche hobbies, and we both have a passion in the preservation of retro Japanese video games. We used to frequently chat with each other every day. He went to college and I'm a NEET, but we still had a very good friendship. So, what happened? Well, he got a girlfriend a few weeks ago. Now before this, he has never, ever, had any interest in social media like instagram or twitter, but now he has both. Whenever I try to start a convo, he ghosts me or gives me vague replies. He makes me feel like a fucking monster that's did something so horrible. Like everyone, I have skeletons. I have fetishes that the majority of the human race would consider fucked up, and I hang out in circles that share art and videos of said fetishes. Whenever I get ghosted like this, I'm afraid someone may have gossiped about me or they can tell by my behavior that I'm a nut and they want nothing to do with me.


tl;dr why are people so cruel to their friends when they get girlfriends?

Are we just the byproduct of sadistic lunatic breeders that wanted to bring children into a world expecting them to be lucky not to become outcasts/ addicts/mentally ill but it did anyways

This isn't an attention seeking thread. I'm hoping to learn from someone who relates to me and how he managed to feel a little better. If i can't achieve that, atleast i was able to externalize my worries so i can see them more clearly and vent a little. It's just random thoughts put together really.
I don't think there is anything wrong with being "normal". I believe anything can be an improvement to my dry and monotonous way of living. I've been sheltered my entire life which is why i'm so inadept and incompetent. I'm not talking about social skills (i've always mimicked those to some extent and i i know how to get by i don't care about that). I'm talking about life skills in general. I have no idea how to cook, maintain my hygiene like routines and shaving, paying utilities, etc…
Just the thought of losing my mother, my caretaker, one day makes me anxious and sad. I don't know how to act and think. I don't know how i feel like how do i know i'm feeling this or that at any moment ?
Because of this lifestyle, i had also always been afraid of people. I think i projected how i felt about my parents when i was young into other humans. I never had any serious social contact so i'm afraid of doing anything they deem unacceptable. I'm afraid i will anger them. They will bare their fangs at me, punish and assault me.
I don't care about the world, making it a better place or anything along those lines. I just want to be comfortable and satisfied in my own little cocoon. However i can't even accomplish that because i'm numb. I can't feel pleasure or enjoy anything and it hurts. I don't have any motivation or energy in me, hell i'm even surprised i wrote this much.
A typical day for me involves browsing the internet and watching TV all day. It's just a mindless circle of downloading and deleting, installing and uninstalling usually the same things over and over, switching between tabs and channels every 10 secs hoping something happens and staring at a stale page. Never actively pursuing anything. I never really enjoyed media and i never finish anything i started. I have no inspirations or aspirations really, except some momentary infatuations. They are some shallow obsessions i get from time to time with some occupations like drawing or "computer stuff". I have no specefic skills to be honest so i feel helpless and lost. I then just make excuses like saying it's because my computer is trash or it's because my parents raised me wrong.Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

8ch /suicide/ board is kill for good.

What's the next best thing?

Are there any good Darknet sites related to committing suicide?