/dep/ - Depression

yes they are the first benzo I was given and they made me addicted to them now 7 years later, I don’t even take them every day but it seems like the damage done is irreversible and lowered my quality of life by a lot

>>257236
Memory issues?

>>257238
I would rather have memory issues, but it's something not many would think of, it gave me bladder problems so I have to pee often, I used to go 5-6 hours without peeing, now I have to pee every hour or two, I usually have to pee 2-3 times before sleeping and not drink any water or else I'll wake up at 5am to pee

>>257231
Cant kill yourself if youre stuck in a mental asylum having hellish withdrawals and mental collapse

>>257223
yea it gets bad dude. i only took it for a month (1mg to sleep) and when i started to taper i got these scary, dizzy headaches and brainzaps

i had moments in the middle of the day where my head felt tight and dizzy and i felt like i was gonna jump out of my skin/have a seizure. i felt this intense urge to just let out a massive scream to counteract the extreme discomfort and anxious feeling. it was quiet unpleasant

Coca Cola

clorox

Cum

>>257306
bleach works well for attention whores

take a bunch of dxm and then go to your mom/whoever and say you took meds to kill yourself, you'll probably act weird and stumble around so they'll believe you and most likely you wont die

I definitely feel stupider. For example, I can't comprehend information. I have to re-read things over and over again to get them, and even then I forget all of it quickly. And in general, i'm really dull and take a long time and lots of effort to do anything or think.

Brain is a muscle, so getting old, don't using it and don't eating correctly will make you dumber. However, your case looks more dopamine overdose.

>>257300
Another thing, medical drugs to depression and shit destroy your brain the same way as normal drugs.

>>256751
I was prescribed them when i was 16 or 17 years old so i didnt know any better.

find a cause or a hobby, something to sustain your interest(s) over a long period of time while challenging you intellectually.

tres seas:

cause
combat
caffeine

they keep me goin - not for the better necessarily, but my mind remains sharp. ymmv ofc.

>>257192
>What are priests? What are monks? What are hermits? Wizards always existend in some form or another. I'd even say society in the past was more accepting of celibacy or wizards.
those were people of privilidge. if you are posting on wizchan, i'm guessing you would be part of the 99/100 who was born on a farm to a family owned by or working for the local feudal lord. your parents would have betrothed you at a young age and you wouldnt have the means to go off on your own and neet it out

>>257195
>those were people of privilidge
Not really, Christians were scum in the beginning and to this day in the East poor villages are farmed for children for the monasteries.

>>257195
Being a hermit didn't require any privilege whatsoever. If someone wanted to live in solitude, he could do it. I'd argue it was even easier back then because not everything was ruled by law or government. Practically you could go live in the mountains or woods and most likely nobody would bother you, unlike today.

>>257233
You are this mad.
>>257234
You are this mad.

>>257156
>The point is, succubi’s inherently privileged position was balanced out by the fact that they had no real political or financial power, so they had to depend on a man’s livelihood. For most of civilized history, it was necessary for survival for a succ to get married.

Not true, and even if it was, do you think the average male had any real political or financial power? No they didn't, any political power they did have, like a vote, was provided under certain obligations to the state like the draft, attending caucuses, paying taxes. You always hear about mistresses in medieval courts having indirect political power through a man and of course that comes with financial power, so it's fairly easy to assume this was a class difference not a gender one. succubi could work, they didn't "have" to depend on a man's livelihood, they just wanted to, because it's way easier, even today we can see gender roles benefit succubi who decide to opt out of work, not to mention they could probably get by doing less labour intensive work if they wanted, like sowing instead of mining.

You're right in your third paragraph, now that work is generally more comfortable succubi are opting to work instead of live with a man they don't like, and this results in more men being deselected because when standards of living rise and work becomes easier they feel less desire to leech off a man as they would rather live alone (or with lots of cats) - though they can still opt out and find a male provider which a lot of them do. However it's not an inherently modern thing as disenfranchised males have always existed and arranged marriages weren't happening for everyone in every microcosm of human history.

this website is a breath of fresh air when compared to all of the shit-talking normalfaggots in the world

>>255892
It's almost like a preventable war where innocents die or have their lives destroyed is more tragic than a contagious disease that no one can do anything about and eventually we all will get but only <0.01 will die from it and most of them will have severe comorbidities.

I wish I had had more time

>23
>living with parents
>failed at school
>failed in life
>barely left my house for 5 years
>lost contact with my only friend
>dad is trying to throw me away any given chance
>no job
>deep in existential crisis for almost a decade
>gained a lot of fat lately and smoking for more than 2 years
I tried to kill myself a week ago but couldn't do it. Pulling the trigger scared me. I am too afraid to die and had nothing left to live

>>257383
Capricorn here also. I believe you for what that's worth.

I've seen so many people with formidable talents not finding "their place" in the world, and as a result being left without the means to prove their worth. Do we really need to prove anything to anyone though? If the very society that depends on our utility has failed to not only give us a path to actualization, but trampled that path and then set it on fire, doesn't that speak for itself?

I could be wrong and maybe this isn't the case everywhere, but I hear this echoed by both younger and older folk usually when least expected. I think we can measure our abilities for ourselves well enough, and the struggle may be worth it by itself.

What kind of computing sorcery can you do, if you want to share here? Also no need to be sorry — sounds like you've had a rough ride and this is one of the better places to tell your story after all.

Pull up your bootstraps and force yourself to do these things.

It's better to solve your problems sooner rather than later. As you gain more experience with everyday tasks, they become easier to do.

Quit the drugs, disregard therapists and do your own thing, as you are the only one that knows what's best for you.

>>256964
Do the drugs actually help with the shaky hands? My hands shake a whole lot too when I have to leave the house or interact with someone

>>257012
Why do your hands shake? Thought that only happened to old people.

>>257017
From what I've read on the internet it's a symptom of anxiety. It's part of the reason why I avoid interacting with other people. Are you anxious at all? I thought that symptom was pretty common.

>>257020
I mean yeah I have social anxiety and my hands do shake to an extend but it’s not noticeable. I honestly just stopped giving a shit what others thought about me, not completely, but helped with my social anxiety a lot.

>>256830
nature has nothing to do with it. animals don't have the cognition to be held responsible for their actions. people do.

>>256848
Damn what did succubi do to you?

I just had to stop smoking weed because I would get intrusive voices calling me a retard. Now I just hear music all day in my head. The only way I can stop it is to listen to another song. Meditation also helps. A little

>>256883
succubi are pure evil and hypocrite creatures with extreme privileges. I have so many reasons to hate females there are no words to describe their evil

>>256963
Go masturbate some, buddy. Being obsessed with succs, whether in positive or negative way, is a sign of unfulfilled sexual desires.

>>256873
im 22 with a horrible disease that ruins my mobility but the government didnt respond to my neetbux request (during the corona shit)
>>256874
>>256875
im fucked i have to take an iq test that includes advanced maths, i failed the lowest lvl of maths during school as a teen
>>256888
yeah i had an image of being a cool cop shooting niggers and junkies but the cars here are literally stickered with tranny and gay flags on them
>>256895
i play vidya 12-16 hours a day currently, i enjoy it but i feel like a failure of a human being. at least 90% of people here had "experiences" before in jobs or social related things.

>>256907
Wait, didn't you said that you live in a chill EU country?
or your country has tranny and gay stuff too?

>>256908
on a personal level its chill not in a societal sense but im not apart of that

>>256908
its not like LGBT do violent crime, so its all chill

>>256907
The "horrible disease" is being a dumbass tween

>>256100
I was constantly harassed, made fun of, and physically abused in high school. Despite (or because of) the fact I did my best not to get noticed, keeping to myself, etc. I'm unironically in a better place now

High school sucked. It wasn’t an environment conducive to learning about things. Just constant social bullshit. I’m glad I dropped out.

>>256779
If school was actually about learning things, I might have liked it.

>>254153
I disliked highschool (a lot) while going through it, but after seeing what comes after it I do miss it. My highschool woes can't fucking compete to what I'm going through now. I do still miss my early childhood the most.

Its weird as an adult watching these films of HS as this Shakesperian melodrama, when i dozed through it watching Spongebob and Arthur at 3PM

Experimenting with "creative out of the box" ways to make money, does make me appreciate what a "good deal" a stable salary boring job is by comparison. Even in a relatively mid-tier job $30-$40K, try making that on ebay or youtube or bitcoin or stocks or blogs or anything else you can imagine. Or even dealing drugs. When you got to squeeze out every dollar yourself just getting to $1000 seems a mountain. While you can just show up to the office and collect it every week.

>>256757
>Was their work less meaningful to them because of this?

Well, conveniently we don't have much data on job satisfaction in those days. I can agree that the modern corporate ladder is not a constant throughout history but I never defined progression as merely making one's way through an explicit social organization. Even without any kind of formal titles, a master is still a master, purely by his ability to work more efficiently and with higher quality, and the guy that started making shoes two weeks ago is less respected than the old master who's been doing it for 2 or 3 decades. The progression in this case is internal, in terms of mastery, but also socially implicit, no perks or a special title, but nonetheless the labor has social meaning to the person and probably acceptable to talk about at the local inn. I'd argue, that without at some of these features, the labor itself would be unsustainable.

Consider the myth of Sisyphus and how one's inability to make progress is effectively treated as psychological torture. It's not the physical labor of pushing the rock that gets you, but it rolling down the hill. Even if Sisyphus could tap into flow while going up hill, making it physically bearable, the walk downhill is when he is conscious and is confronted with the complete lack of meaning in his actions. It would be an interesting thought exercise to imagine being in this situation and then considering what you could do to alleviate your suffering. Perhaps one could imagine Sisyphus simply starting to count how many times he reaches the top, creating an artificial goal and progression for himself. The gods could be particularly evil and simply reset that part of his memory and his physical gains, making sure that everything is nearly the same every day.

A modern example is that Groundhog Day movie, where Bill Murray's character wakes up repeating the same day, having all his progress reset, making a g.irl fall in love with him and then have her not know who he is the next.

I think you simply latched unto my examples rather than the generalizations themselves. If I could generalize my thesis fully, I would define meaningful work as an activity that affords an agent the ability to progress in his/her goals in a manner that maximizes his optimal grip on the environment. So, on the one hand, Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>256764
>When you got to squeeze out every dollar yourself just getting to $1000 seems a mountain.

It's practically impossible. Trust me, I've tried every single thing that exists.

Unless you're willing to invest money, you can't make money online. It's impossible. Even affiliate marketing requires you to risk your money by buying marketing.

Starting from zero is im-fucking-possible. It can't be done. Too much competition and zero earning opportunities.

Now, compare my situation to 2022. I have two inheritances and I get about $8000 a year from stock dividends passively. It is the easiest money possible, I get it every April-May without lifting a finger.

Getting money when you already have some is the easiest thing in the world. Getting money when you have $0 is the hardest thing in the world. (Especially online)

>>256785
I was just thinking of Fiver, its crazy the kinds of deals you can get as a customer, but that just shows you how shit it is as a seller

>>256785
> I have two inheritances and I get about $8000 a year from stock dividends passively.

And even that, takes a lot of capital to generate an income that doesn't come close to a McWage