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Depression
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File: 1571982138722.jpg (35.01 KB, 540x540, 1:1, 6666666666666.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.209889[Reply]

/proxy/ thread
who here knows they're not real anymore? how do you come back without the curse totally leaving? do I need stimulant drugs? how do I stop being blamed for things other people have said and done and been responsible for? I think that's why it's happening.

 No.209890

>>209889
What the fuck on you on about?

 No.209892

>>209890
I'm confused about it, too. Sounds like OP is suffering from derealization, alienation, paranoia, or something along those lines.

Not sure I can help him



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 No.209776[Reply]

Recently I discovered that the only friend I had has been lying about everything to the point where the person they presented themselves as to me is mostly fictional, my whole family has npd and has been lying and gaslighting me my whole life and most other people I meet in public or had met in school always ignored me or treated me different, as if they put on a mask only when interacting with me. It seems as if this is done collectively by countless people everywhere, as if the whole world is conspiring against a select few such as me. Does anyone else expirience this? It makes me question how real the world I live in is, it seems as if everything was scripted and planned out. pic related. Does anyone else feel this way?
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.209876

>>209862
Childish insult. Maturity has taught me not to react to delinquent behavior as this. I would like to know why you think me a "Retarded succubus?"

 No.209877

>>209876
Altruism is a communal instinct that succubi must unilaterally adopt in order to survive. Thus it is a feminine trait. You are retarded because you lack the ability to analyze such beliefs for veracity.

 No.209881

>>209877
The ability to understand others is not inherently altruistic. I would be more inclined to identify it as 'empathetic' in that the ability to understand a human without misinterpreting their behavior or cynicaly judging it. It's a much more practical exercise I believe; when succubi are for more adept at expressing their emotional input on other and pathologizing them as autistic for not being one of the typical societal archetypes.

 No.209882

>>209881
too bad equating selfishness with evil has nothing to do with empathy

 No.209883

>>209882
Yes, unfortunately my cynicism has affected my pragmatism; an unfortunate side-effect of an all to often reinforced experience with human beings. I must admit my idiocy on those invalid comments.



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 No.209601[Reply]

Roommates, landlords, family, family's guests? Am I alone? I want to know what others have experienced. To not feel so alone in being victimized like this.

I bought a lockable doorknob and made a copy of the key it came with for my mother at her request. Supposedly for emergencies, if I was ever locked out.

When I finally was locked out, she would not produce a key. She always keeps her keys out on display near the front door for her live-in boyfriend to grab. The most logical explanation to me is that he took them, because he has little respect for boundaries, and acts out maliciously towards me to assert his dominance.

She of course, won't accept this, and gives him the benefit of the doubt, and assumes they just fell off or something. I remember putting them on securely.

This morning, I was accused by this boyfriend of 'hiding' my keys in my room. I have a copy of the mail key and he feels he is somehow owed access to the mailbox whenever he likes, even though I pay rent and he doesn't, he gets mail here.

I know this was malicious because mail isn't even delivered on Sundays. I said as much but he said he wanted to check it anyway, even though I had checked it TWICE the previous day.

I brought my key down for him to use to just try and make it pass… and he just takes it and DRIVES OFF WITH IT. Those are keys I need to be able to leave the house… to lock the front door, to lock my room…

He came back something like an hour later but hasn't replaced the keys by the door yet. I looked below and they had not fallen off.

I simple seethe with anger because I refuse to start a public fight. I know my mom must get horny for this kind of drama and it makes me sick. But eventually I'm going to snap. I shoved the fridge after he left and I noticed he had taken the keys… I will feel an urge to break things again and again, and I have been giving into that urge over and over.

I hate how he just plays nice, talks chipper, meanwhile having secretly acted out against me and not telling my mom he did that.

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 No.209604

File: 1571607947014.jpg (93.34 KB, 848x611, 848:611, Ricin.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

use this

 No.209606

>>209604
no thanks, I don't want to go to jail. I appreciate the thought though. FPBP.

 No.209785

You have no options but to confront this snake with its own very poison. Beware of him being ready.



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 No.208533[Reply]

How do you stop being obsessed with a person or thing? Obsession and addiction are major sources of depression for me and I need to break my downward spiral.

 No.208540

I think you know or can know the answers to this question.

 No.209592

>>208533
Addiction is beaten thru distraction, but obssession sometimes requires to focus even harder on what it has inside.

 No.209772

you don't really, everyone here is obsessed with some aspect of himself, even those looking to "destroy the ego," that's still a self-obsession to a degree. the difference between wizards and normgroids is that our self-obsession is completely inward and mostly non-performative (i don't think the symbolic interaction in self-identifying as a wizard grants any sort of social reward, it's more of a coping mechanism (misery loves company, as they say) than anything)



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 No.209648[Reply]

I think the world has finally become a fucked up enough place that there needs to be a new type of motivational speaker. The traditional motivational speaker tells you the world is your oyster, you can do anything, you just have to change your outlook and your behavior and thoughts and you will be transformed into a beautiful butterfly. It's basically brainwashing to make people join in on the normie delusions of capitalism where everyone is gonna be a millionaire someday if they just believe hard enough and work hard enough. This is clearly all bullshit. So clearly bullshit in fact that I can't believe it's still a thing.

What we need instead is people to explain to depressed people why they're actually depressed without any bullshit. How and why the world is fucking them over in invisible ways that make everything pointless and make them depressed mo matter what they do. In other words, we need demotivational speakers to tell people that it's okay to give up because everything is fucked and it's not their fault. I think this would make people feel better because at least it's not a lie and it doesn't put all the blame for their own unhappiness on themselves.

 No.209686

This need, for a rational explanation of how the world is screwing you and that it's natural to be depressed in this situation, is one that politics ought to fulfill. It doesn't, in part because western governments removed most economic policy from the political realm during the 80s and 90s. It seems the best an individual can do right now is educate himself.



 No.209616[Reply]

On a thousand islands in the sea
I see a thousand people just like me
A hundred unions in the snow
I watch them walking, falling in a row
We live always underground
It's going to be so quiet in here tonight
A thousand islands in the sea
It's a shame


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 No.208386[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Post here when you don't have enough to say for a topic and it's too depressing for the general crawl thread.

Akira Yamaoka - Ripe Black Soul: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44IHB8qSUJ4
297 posts and 65 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.209463

>becoming a grown up failure living off his parents back
a great misery indeed bro :) ^

 No.209476

>>209463
It is, if you prefer to be independent.

 No.209534

>>209456
I get this a lot for some reason struggling with diarrhea pains and headache atm

 No.209587

fml

 No.209600

Someone create a new thread I got no images


[Last 50 Posts]

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 No.209087[Reply]

So how do I learn to live with my body for the rest of my days on this Earth, I wake up every morning feeling utterly empty and lack the motivation to move on. I feel like a direct result of constant bullying, I am also the ugliest guy I know, I could pass as an elderly person if j actually tried to LARP.
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 No.209090

>>209089
Maybe you should try and get one, the wizard life isn't for everybody.

 No.209092

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>>209091
Sorry to hear that. Wizard life it is then.

 No.209093

>>209092
Kek, that's how it truly feels. Sometimes I wonder if this is all really real. I can't believe, no, I'm SHOCKED that I was this unlucky in the genetic lottery, a true shame eh, I'm the American mutt…

 No.209095

File: 1570765132278.png (310.07 KB, 667x286, 667:286, over1.png) ImgOps iqdb

Good luck.

 No.209589

>>209087
Did you ever thought about revenge?
It seems you are still assuming what your bullies told you to be with their doing…

However, if you can't help, just try and do more damage. Use your ugliness, use it as if you meant it. Embrace it. You couldn't any other thing…



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 No.194664[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Even though I'm almost 30, I can't let go of the resentment toward my mom. I tried to read many online posts on forgiveness, but it's difficult. My mom was old and poor (40+, welfare) when she had me with a 40+ year old, short (5'1"), ugly (100% Jew), poor (homeless living in a tent), sociopath (killed small animals for fun, abusive etc). Not only was I screwed genetically, but I grew up poor and isolated in a dysfunctional "home" in the countryside (Would have been nice if not for my mom). My mom became a single mom due to her terrible choice in partner. I wasn't fed proper meals or even taught to brush my hair. I became isolated from peers from a young age. There was no public transportation, I relied on my mom. There was no extended family (they are also crazy though), nobody. I became isolated from my peers early on because I couldn't even discuss tv shows (we didn't have tv) and had holes in my clothing.

When I should have been learning and enjoying childhood, I was cleaning around my mom's hoard (hoarder) and trying to cook for myself. If I tried to pile her garbage from the floor she would screech at me for hours that I threw something out (even if I didn't). She would follow me around the house screaming at the top of her lungs, knowing there were no neighbors to witness her behavior. Once some neighbors walked by and saw the hoard, threatening to call CPS. I wish they had. At least once per week since 1st grade my mom would scream that if I didn't go to college, I'd end up like my father. I finally chose to study Computer Science, but she yelled at me for months until her voice gave out to choose Business. When I tried to discuss Marketing she physically attacked me. I was too isolated and brainwashed to go against her. She hadn't even saved for my college, I'm now $20,000 in debt.

As I said, I'm almost 30. There were times I thought of writing a cooking blog, but her hoarder house background was too disgusting for photos. Many times I wanted to learn new skills, and I would actively be learning when she would slam my door open (she cut a hole in it to remove the lock) and scream in my face when there was a bug infestation or other hoarder issue. Despite being a terrible mother, she bragged to everyone that she was amazing. People didn't realize I was quiet not because I was well-behaved, but because I was scared. In college, I spent my vacations cleaning her house without throwing any of her junk out. She would scream at me whePost too long. Click here to view the full text.
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 No.209017

>>194664
i agree on the tv part. it’s the worst thing to ever happen in history. every goddamn part about tv is pure garbage.

 No.209020

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>>198489
Jesus fuck. At least my parents never forced me to try to date. I can't even begin to imagine why he would ever think that's a good idea. Why? Fucking why? What is the logic in that at all? It's something you literally do not need to do in your life. What the fuck was he thinking? A lot of the time I end up thinking that not having a gf is one of the few things I have going for me.

Did you ever end up having the, "Anon, are you gay?" talk?




Also, I have to say to people scrolling by this thread, open it up, press "Ctrl+F" and type in "alcohol" and look how many times it shows up.

>>203508
You think this is blown out of proportion? Where's your imagination anon?

>>205077
Cheers mate. Here's hoping you do pull through somehow.

>>205084
Would you call it karma?

>>206639
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.209039

>Hahaha, you're assuming that thots make good choices, anon.
they are good at filtering out the uncompetitive, antisocial and unconventional people
>what? he has no friends?
>he a serial killer or what?
>doesnt work anywhere?
>definetly a creepo
I am not hateful for that either

The way I see it, being a genetic dead end frees you of all social contracts with the world.
You don't have to play by their rules, contribute to their economy, fund their pension systems, do their wagie slavery to feed a new generation of genetic dead ends and fund the life of an equally genetic dead end wife that might have agreed to parasite you in exchange for an easy life.

In short, you are free to do whatever you want and die whenever you feel like youve had enough.
No job, no liabilities, no debts, no bills, nothing
It is a benefit for naturally loner type of people

>Also, yeah, I don't understand the whole, "We have no resources, time to have more kids," bullshit.

well I do understand it
>well, you are not going to advance in your career hunny
>but I heard we can get more welfare if we quality for poorfag status
>and we get discounts on health insurence and all types of stuff
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 No.209490

My family did not encourage or teach me to do any fuckin thing or even cared about me at all while I was falling deep into depression and failing school, physical and mental health,
but was sure to criticize and put to shame every time I tried to do anything positive

?How could a family suck so bad that simultaneously neglected and abused and was overly controlling at the same time?

And they wonder why I'm an alexithymic hikkineet

It's like the song "You Raise Me Up" but in reverse, I'm not standing on a fuckin mountain but down the deep dark sea

 No.209605

>>194664
>ugly (100% Jew)
I will try to empathize with the plight of your somewhat-semitic DNA, although I doubt anyone is 100% Jew since they commonly interbreed with other people to subvert them, meaning you are probably something less than 50% Jew, Mr. Mischling.

>I tried to read many online posts on forgiveness, but it's difficult.

Fuck forgiveness. You don't need to be instructed on how to forgive people. When people legitimately make amends for their wrongs to you, you will know according to your own standards and your emotions will resolve themselves. If they haven't made adequate amends, your hatred persists to remind you of that injustice: do not choose to forgive them EVER.

We can only hope that we will come to stop hoping for this and make changes under our own control to divorce these evil people from our life so that we might progressively forget them and they take up less of our thoughts over time.


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