/dep/ - Depression

Confession thread. Confess your sins to fellow wizards. A sorrow shared is a sorrow doubled, but maybe that's ok.

Confession can help us heal from depression. Through confession, the individual takes responsibility for the state of his life, concentrating on what he has done, not what has been done to him.

Christ’s own words to the apostles: “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained” (John 20:23), which the Church understands as the institution of the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the granting of authority to forgive sins in His name.

Forgiveness is also essential of one another: “If you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15). A heart hardened against others cannot receive mercy.

Hey, it's me your resident disgusting nonhuman junkie Benzo spammer. I finally ran out of all ways to get money and I don't even have energy left to try scamming people so it's finally over. I would like to mention I had other reasons to self destruct, like countless debts, mentally ill family, no room to live in, endless diseases eg broken stomach hurts I can't eat and it feels like my spine broke and I'm so weak I'm dying from a walk. Apparently once I ran out of pills I'll have endless months of seizures and psychosis and might jump out of random windows after losing contact with reality.

"Why break the seals of mute despair unbidden
And wail life's discords into careless ears?
…
If any cares for the weak words here written,
It must be someone desolate, fate-smitten,
Whose faith and hope are dead, and who would die."
https://archive.org/details/cityofdreadfulni00thomrich/page/1/mode/1up

Do you feel like there is nothing to do online anymore?

Maybe the I'm viewing the past with rose tinted goggles now that I'm turning 30 soon, but I believe the internet as a whole has lost it's charm.
Back in my (relative) youth I could explore it endlessly find whatever to pass the time with.
It was a perfect escape from the real world, whether forums or online games at the time I could always find myself a group of people who shared some of my interests and interact with them.
It felt like I always was a part of a community, the web felt very tribal in a sense.
Now it all feels empty and hostile. It's almost the same experience as moving from a rural village to a big city just in the digital world.

It's all commercial, brands instead of people, everyone is hostile by default unless they try to sell you on something, nobody is there to have fun anymore. Nothing is authentic anymore.
Games are hyper-competitive.
Communities are fast and loose.
Maybe I'm just jaded, maybe I just don't have any real interest anymore, maybe I'm seeing the world in monochrome, but is that really true?

It feels like every corner of the internet has been shit on by a billion randoms constantly chiming in. Jumping into a space just to take a dump for a quick laugh resulting in very little long term traction for these spaces. Compared to old forums anyways.
People aren't invested in anything anymore, things are more permanent on this slow imageboard than they are on mainstream spaces.
Going back to the village analogy, it's like in a city, where you don't even know the next door neighbor in your concrete hives, so why not shit up the place?

Not sure if it's the age, brainrot, depression or anhedonia, but I just can't will myself to care about anything anymore. The only thing left to do on the internet for me seems to be chasing nostalgia. Other than that all that is available is an endless flood of slop that I can scroll while listening to some multi-hour video essay about some other slop.

Video games that used to be my primary way of passing time feel like such a chore nowadays. You get one, launch it, have to learn a couple dozen mechanics, random lingo for the same crap with dozens of numbers you can tune that often end up pointless or gimp you. Then a forced 1-2 hour handhold session with tutorials and cutscenes…
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

Ever since that incident that hurts me deeply, I just want to die and get over it, but every living organism on this stupid rock is afraid of death.

She was so damn perfect, obscure, so safe from rule 34, yet she had lots of fun art on there and some sites, and she was divine as there was no porn of her on there. Maybe it used she was truly something. She came from an interesting story from an interesting piece of media, but it all took to ruin it all with a stupid question.

I am just tired now. I just want the pain to go away.

I really hope this threat does not count as fool worship because it is about a fictional character i love.
And I made this threat here previous about this

rule 1: NO new rules but this set of rules. no new thing to cling to. no idea or plan. you can even let go of all other rules and plans you have, except for this one.
rule 2: relax into sensations, pains, emotions and feelings without doing anything about them, no matter what situation.
rule 3: look at and get to know your thoughts. pick them apart in any way you see fit. this is where your freedom comes in. you can do rule 3 in any way you like.

I have no purpose at life. I just roam. I do this since I was born. Never said one day I'm going to do something. I'm waiting the moment I will say "fine thats' it, thats the day I'll do something with my life" but I know it will never come. I'm a trash

What truly troubles you most from your past?

The research is clear: writing can help us manage negative emotional states, process our lives, and even heal from trauma. One of the reasons writing does this, I believe, is because it invites us, and even requires us, to look at our pain in a new way and for a long time. It requires contemplation.

Preserve your memories, keep them well, what you forget you can never retell.

I am a loser who cant do anything right. What is the fastet way for suicide? How is that one suicide website called?

After reading what it's like to be poor in Indis or one of those desperate bangladeshi guest workers 48 celsius Dubai heat for 200 dollars a month, I'm convinced hell already exists on Earth.

And I don't want to be in a body whose only option is to endure that for several decades. Not having prior memories is irrelevant.