/dep/ - Depression

why the WIZCK do i fall into the depths of anguish whenever i ask for something i see as so dumb or stupid to some cowagie or anyone at all? i keep mumbling randomly how much i want to die, filled with regret for merely sending a message to a groid, thinking i have done something severely stupid. i dont want to die but i hate when this happens and it is very frequent
WIZCK normals, WIZCK EVERYTHING

I feel like society has left me behind it is one of the most fastest moving things to ever exist, and I can never catch up to it because I've been quite stagnant my entire life. Even if I try to improve, I'm still leagues behind the average persons social progression. All I'm really left with is the mere remains of a career, wife, kids, etc.

I'm older than people who have kids who're already graduating from high school. I know it shouldn't bother me, but I can't help it. I feel like my life hasn't progress at all. I already have grey hairs on my beard and I don't feel my age at all. life as a wizard is like living in a perpetual limbo where nothing ever happens until you grow old and die.
I know many young wizards will call me a failed normie for saying this, but it's only until you reach a certain age that the loneliness of the wiz life starts to creep in and you begin to wonder where did all go wrong.

Are you a believer in a higher being and hate humanity?
I'm not assign nor believe in any belief or after life but I do believe in eugenics, Antinatalism, assisted suicide, the death penalty, abortion,and overall restricting human rights.
I met, heard so many lonely, depressed individuals who believe in a god yet have a heavy disdain for certain section of humanity be it racial or the opposite sex.
Is it because they trust a being that not human but higher? Yet that same being created the object they detest?
I don't have that dilemma since I don't adhere to any religious beliefs.
Do any of you do? If not do you believe being a misanthrope is silly or based?

The only ,or main, reason I totally suppressed my own ideation of erasing my own life, was not violating religious precepts..Also regarding morality, I genuinely dislike violence (im unable to deliberately kill an ant, for example, I make an effort to avoid stepping on them) ,but there are *so many* complex Ethical issues, with real impact on my life, which without religion, I have to start from scratch (deciding whether theyre good, or evil)
I want to be a Med student in a couple of years, so–medical profession, lots of ethical issues I need to think for myself, without Religious teaching. euthanasia, stem cell research, contraception, IVF, Surrogate pregnancy without medical need (just voluntary commercial agreement), etc.
What to do? I have a psychiatrist, but haven't talked with him in like 4 months. im 29.

i've been daydreaming about living in a world where we stagnated on a 1990's level of technology.

today's internet, with its smartphone-social media, hyperpolitics and ultradopaminergic entertainment is such a mindrape that i'm starting to get really really tired of it…

i'm a millennial but i wish i was born in the 80s or even the 70s just so i could live and relatively normal adult life in the 90s and 00s.

i wanna go back to an analogic world.

Been browsing 4chads /pol/ all day for happenings and apparently Musk is gonna end NEETbux. I'm disabled and am unable to work, so I guess this is it for me. It was nice wizzies, but I guess this is the end.

anyone else not know what theyre gonna do with their future? i had a job at 21 in an amazon facility for about a month, but i lost it because my dad stopped driving me and i had to much anxiety to get myself there. ive been a NEET ever since i dropped out of middle school other than that i have no idea what im gonna do. most days i dont eat because im to anxious to go outside and where i live doesnt help, my dad uses our house as a flophouse for his bum friends to play loud shitty guitar music. i think my future is fucked, it might be better if i spared myself the suffering and committed suicide but i dont have the will to do it, just like i dont have the will to do anything else which is why im in this situation.

Will probably delete this but had a terrible week (not that I'm not used to it by now) but I was asked to take care of a cat for someone down the street and the first week everything went fine. I fed it emptied the litter box but one night I accidentally left the garage door it used to get in and out too high and noticed something else got in. Since then I haven't seen the cat but last night (almost 2 weeks after) I found the poor things body underneath where he sleeps. I had only gone over twice in about a week and a half due to a cop giving me a speeding ticket for going 7 over the speed limit and my boss at work saying I had to meet for disciplinary action but refusing to say why other than my "behavior". I feel so bad that I killed someones pet and don't know what to do. I had also just planned my first vacation ever after over a decade of wage slaving but I can't take it now because I would be staying with the persons pet I killed for 2 weeks. I was honestly having a hard time not wanting to kill myself as it is and now I just don't know what to do. Cats have been one of the few things that have ever been nice to me and I killed one being irresponsible and preoccupied with my own problems, I feel so bad having killed someones pet kitty.

To value or not to value, To care or not to care, Do we truly care that much about our value that we defend it with any possible way, But to what extent ? What will we garner from showering with praises and value, A temporary feeling of having worth ? It all fades away after a period of time and you have to do that all again, Like anything in life, Everything fades away, That love that disillusioned you at that first sight fades away after 1 month if the other person doesn’t reciprocate, That’s the same as your value, If you don’t give more to your value then the other person will just get bored, Boredom is our nemesis in this world.
We truly love to wallow in our shit and feces and believe that we’re different than the other person, That we’re different than the other insipid and superficial people, But that’s the same as the other barn of shit that others pile in too and believe they’re better than you, All in for the same ending, For the same pointless and meaningless argument to escape the feeling of being “normal”, of being “mid”, of not having any specialities in this World, We fear that we will be perceived as lower, But in reality the damage is already done, We literally diminish our principles in other to not be perceived as lower by others, That’s just wallowing in the shit of the other person. For what is the worth of a person who died right now as you’re reading this ? For what is the worth of a person living in extreme poverty ? A person living in harsh condition, or someone getting tortured by the mafia right now.. Etc, They have more value than people who consider themselves high and almighty, Hell even a garbage collector holds more value than anyone who has “Villas, Cars, money… etc” Because they’re exploring life in their own condition, And the garbage collector is doing something for society, We just give value to ourselves because we’re pitiful and rely so much on another person’s praise to not fall, But you will fall and the fall will be so hard that you will cease to exist in another person’s eyesight. You can easily trick others by giving them value and watch them as they spiral down into madness when you cease to give them any value, People are evil, They rely on others to give them a shoulder to be another’s shoulder and when that shoulder carrying them ceases to exist, they fall because they were used to standing on the other’s shoulder.