/dep/ - Depression

>>308836
What, so you can make fun of him?

can relate. advice: suffer better

>>308838
I am not like that. I want to understand well, i think he might be exaggerating

>>308851
Well havent checked into this site in a while but let me give you some examples
>i messed up some cookies at the local cafeteria i work at by cutting some of them too small,an then repeated that some mistake
>i didnt know how a coffee machine worked since i never drink coffee
>my room and my daily routines are incredibly disorganized

>>308853
just as I expected, you're exaggerating. those are things that you will learn to do well over time. Obviously, you don't know how to do something without previous experience. If people expect to you know things that you don't know, it isn't your problem

>>308772
sorry you're in the depths right now and it's hard (or impossible) to see a light at the end of the tunnel where you have relief.

Do you have fluctuations in this feeling are there days that somehow you feel back to normal, even if it's fleeting?

Do you want more questions, advice, or something in particular? I can say i relate to the vague yet pervasive existential dread you're experiencing, but i also know being in the thick of it is hard to listen to advice or anything.

Like the fact that there's a grain of truth in what people have said: "you'll be fine" - cus in a sense you got through yesterday's battle - you were technically fine. So what's really going on?

no one will help you
you can trust no one
normies are semi-retarded
the body is a parasyte feeding off the real you
isolation, distrust, paranoia and suicide are good things

It's as if you're crawling in your skin, yes? And the wounds… They will not heal, yes? Maybe go outside. Find something to hate that actually needs to be hated instead of hating yourself.

it'll go away in a few years. the torment never stays the same. something else will give you pain instead

>>308772
I wonder if your food, while tasty, lacks *wellness* which may do some shenanigans to your body, bullshitting you into stress response over some weird deficiency of some bullshit vitamin or microelement.

>>308800
I once realized I hate using celly for the Internet surfing for a reason. Once I realised I just want toboth blast my radio and watch some educational/"EduTaiment" video at the same time, my life has shifted for the best.

I probably should get a shover radio also.

I reckon that's exactly why people buy "bone conductivity headphones" - you basically can use they along with your earbuds

For the 1% people reading this, i hope you become successful in your life.

lowkey the best part of imposter syndrome is the whole song ??

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." — Mark Twain

kindness is just a lets-team-up signal. if either side doesn't really mean to team up then it's wasted. there's also no guarantee either side won't lose interest in future which means kindness only lasts as long as both parties are in need of teammates.

>>305893
I think you may have far-sighted eyes. Which means you need reading glasses.

Regards, a near-sighted person who needs regular glasses.

I have finally realized something. The Internet now is overwhelming in terms of making a myriad of small decisions every time you want to do something poorly decined. Say, every time you just want to watch a *tube video to pass some time or scout for *something* that's interesting, you have thousands of videos to choose from and they're all "interesting".

The digital rabbit hole is real.

Next time you go to a computer, you make a short idea of what are you going to watch.

"Just spending 20 minutes watching 1 old short comedy movie from 1970s" or
"I need to look up how to sync up my old pc and new laptop"

If you want to try a new recipe, you may try to go to a nice bench near your local shop, and look up some recipes when you're near a store, not in the comfort of your home. (That's my guess, though, not a serious tested idea of living)

>>308749
>to do something poorly decined
>decined

Both "poorly defined" and "poorly decided" $(confused_smile_here)

>>305598
I recommend you to do what I do - watch old movies, play old games, read old books. Forget that the world around you is in the 2020s.

Watch youtube videos about the 20th century western world or Japan. Read old VNs. As long as you aren't a wagie, living in the past is possible.

>>305598
Same as most others here I suggest you just try and emulate the lifestyle of that era for yourself. Use modern tech only as much as you have to. I have a smartphone but it pretty much sits unused in a drawer, I only still own it because I'm forced to have a 2FA app for my bank. My computer screen is almost two decades old, small compared by modern standards and not even 1080p resolution. The last AAA game I played was Battlefield 4 and my PC probably wouldn't even run any of the modern Unreal Engine type shit even if I wanted to. The books and novels I buy these days are mostly pre 2010s, many even pre 2000. I really enjoy reading stories set in those times, before the internet was mainstream, when people still used flip phones or phone booths. Where the cops can't just look up someones location history or track them through CTV, where people can just disappear by buying a plane ticket in cash to nowhere. Also, a lot of modern writing just feels off to me a lot of the times. I think it's the internet-lingo seeping into stories and settings where it has no place and ruin the immersion.
I still use the computer more than I'd like, I watch a lot of shows idly. My goal is to spend more time learning to draw or reading or fuck, just sitting in the garden and zoning out. But I definitely understand your feelings regarding this. The modern technology age is too overstimulating, fast paced, addictive, overproduced. I'm also just sick of technology being put into everything because of the still prevailing notion that anything and everything is better by having a computer or touch screen in it. Self-check outs, order kiosks, the lack of buttons and dials in cars and so on. So in essence, only use technology you absolutely have to in order to survive, anything else you have to be extremely selective about.

i succeeded at being a hopeless linuxoid. checkmate, evil god.

>>308644
I got some little rats and they just need to be pushed together.
I think I managed to get them off the plastic frame rather nicely.
Maybe try some of those?

>>308707
Mate, I literally keep a book of coincidence-like events in my life.

Sometimes, there are several of them in one go. Sometimes, there are little to none. And sometimes I am just too sleepy to get out of my bed to write it down…

>>308707
>>308751


when i was young i tried to dismiss it as random, or a coincidence, or just bad luck;

curses, thats silly or crazy! lol

Old man me, i am 100% sure i am under some kind of curse. and i talked to a stereotype gypsy lady, told me believed multiple family generational curses were all landin on and endin on me, and it was why my life was so fuckin weird. Didnt want to be involved, said it could jump on to people tryin to fuck w/ it for me.

But told me, take a bath, literal, in salt water, and helps if its Sea Salt. Could add other stuff, but salt was most effective.

i feel now, most of us are probably cursed.

100 years back, 500 years back, men w/ lives as fucked as ours we d be told, o yea so and so is cursed, talk to the town elder for solution to break it.

But, in our modern time we re told. Dude Serious, a curse, cmon its 2020s its BS.

i 1,000% believe im cursed and looked for a way to break it. Salt bath helps a lot, for me

>>308765
>salt

No way mate

Salt. A thing used to draw boundaries against spirits turns out to help you with your curse. Interesting.

>>307462
I did think of this scenario when I was a kid, it's how I'd imagine 'society' would function in the far future. I find the idea deeply unapealling and haven't ever been able to come up with a reason as to why, except it's 'unnatural' which is just a cope for not having any reason.

Fed and warm really. Internet opened my eyes: between war, total poverty and homelessness I see how bad it is for billions of people so sitting in front of a computer with a coffee in hand means I've "made it" I guess.

>>308179
How I spend all of my free time. The best food and drinks I can get, and sit in front of the PC. If I had more time I would start watching entire series, I remember I did that when I was first out of highschool: Watched every cartoon in actual order and then moved to anime before I was forced to get a job

>What would a good life look like?
Where I am employed and can at least afford my own food.

>>307315
Quick answer: I don't find it "good" when my legs are freezing.
*several minutes later*
In fact, just thinking about the fact my current misfortune is solveable my a pair of warm pants made my day. I have left my bed and doing stuff while blasting beats, feels pretty anti-/dep/

yuki

>>306545
I have the opposite problem, I've done it so much my dick doesn't even care anymore, I just ignore the feelings now because it'd be too much effort to make anything happen physically.

>>306545
Reaching full week of edging. Didn't quit fapping entirely but it's a start.

>>308596
can you help me with this?
i have been realizing the source of my cravings is a lot of existential dread and knowing "I have to tackle my mental health" but not feeling up for the task of maintaining that effort and changing my life…

so did your detatchment lead you to fixing any of the things that triggered you?

or did your mindfulness practice alleviate it altogether?

>>307853
such a strange plight of existence huh?

i sometimes wonder if my dopamine could self-regulate back to normal

i wonder how many decades i have spent half-present, half-lost in fantasy in my head or lingering tingles of whatever is left from the last wave of ecstacy.

once you get a hit in the day, nothing else can compare. it's hard to imagine a life without the cycle and the chase for more dopamine…

and let me guess, lucid dreams would just be an even more deep layer of escape?

(i know because that's what it has been for me, when I can manage to achieve them…. for the record I highly recommend it lol)

This post sounds like i'm wallowing with you but i genuinely wonder if this is just the best option for us to exist, have a bit of pleasure at least as we slowly slip through existence as a low-level untranscended wizard?

>>308676
Mocking them back would hardly work, will just show how much I'm seething. I really want to live in another city though, I hope I don't have to deal with all of this again until it finally happens.
>>308677
Checked.

>>308676

recording the harassment (getting documented video evidence of their abuse) and showing it to someone who could do something about it (whether police or family or friends), absolutely is the smartest course of action.

>>308681
Bodycam costs 20$

>>308681
Police don't give a damn nowadays, they won't investigate anything nowadays unless you get murderered or are a member of a special minority group. I don't want to derrail with politics but yesterday some autistic 17yo frenchie got beaten to death after reporting to the police that they had assaulted him a few weeks prior, reporting with footage included that the police just ignored. what I'm trying to say is you can no longer rely on police for protection. I'm a hikikomori so I don't go out but if I had to I have some tools ready, something like a phillips screwdriver will give you plausible deniability if carrying weapons is not legal in your country (aka every country except USA). Of course only for intimidation and last defense, you should never start anything unless there's a serious threat.

Since I already decided more or less what I'm going to do, I feel like I'm only losing other people's time with this thread from now on. I will delete it soon (if the passoword is right), thank you to everyone who gave me advice and sorry if I didn't answer some of you in the best way.
I will move to another city as soon as possible and leave my house as little as I can. I gave up on giving them money since anons said it would be idiot, although some part of me still thinks it could work.
>>308681
I thought about doing this before but realistically the cops would only call me a fag. I don't know exactly how the law works and it sounds like a too big headache for a dude who has only the money of his part time job and don't want his parents involved.

>>308305
I felt pain reading this since I use AC all day every day basically I cannot imagine sleeping without it during summer

>>308307
Honestly, it really is quite crazy, not only that it's just while it gets very bearable outside in the night (although not anymore due to urban heat island effect) but the houses made of RCCs radiate heat till the morning, honestly, sleep deprivation is the worst part of it and has cumulative effects like while driving a car or riding a moped or simply the fact that you're not likely to pay attention when crossing the road. I have just come to terms with the fact that most important thing in life is just money, it's now how you look or what not, it's about having money.

I mean you try to sleep at night and you somehow manage to sleep for 2 hours and then you wake up and your entire neck is drenched in sweat and the t-shirt near the neck literally feels like someone poured water on it and no matter which position you sleep in it starts eventually burn your body and things get so bad that even if you do go to AC after it, you still feel incredibly hot and it feels like heat is literally in your bones. And it makes you angry and pissed off which further makes it extremely hard to sleep. Heat really is the biggest killer. I just hope some magic happens and heat goes to 60C wet bulb and I die instantly.

>>308308
It has become extremely difficult to earn a good amount of money in a short period of time, you can't just go around selling stuff and become somehow wealthy everything is saturated including social media and marketing if you're lucky they will just give you an average income, it's like the entire world has been enslaved and accessing wealth is similar to accessing an exclusive legacy of privileged individuals who own real eastate, businesses and positions. Expect every summer to become hotter and southern states to become like desert in the future as we go through the hardest climate crisis the world has ever experienced since ice age.

>>308310
Absolutely, and there is this weird thing that even if you do get a job, the employers act as such that you have to prove your loyalty to them and their test is to give you a wage where you can't live, I mean just to give you an idea, I would be more than happy if I could earn just 200USD a month from the internet. But I mean earning online is honestly a race to the bottom and even there you have to grind and even after that there is no guarantee, but yeah I mean it's actually kind of crazy how heat feels like it feels like my bone is heating up and pricking up the meat around it. Death can't come sooner tbh.

>>308305
>Fuck this world man, I literally only wish I had money and I have tried so much to earn money but to no avail at all.
Honestly, my job was a huge leap of faith to get (a decent job disguised as shit job)

>I cannot wait for this moron to collapse as quickly as possible and the thing is this heat terrifies me because it heats up my laptop and my phone. It is going to kill my electronics prematurely

Honestly… In my experience, its the dust that accumulates in one's laptop, not the just heat.

>>307980
>Been wondering if maybe this tiny space is part of the reason why I just don't do anything.


No.

I have a lot of places to go yet I don't go anywhere much…

Sounds like over pathologization of a something that is just common sense. Restlessness, irritability, difficulty concentrating, etc. are all just bullshit symptoms that could apply to anyone in any situation.
Yes, if you're couped up a tiny room for a prolonged period of time it gets boring and annoying and you want to go outside and have a change of scenery.
Nobody would say that you have "doctor's office-fever" which includes symptoms such as "irritability and restlessness".
What's next? "Stubbed toe-itis, symptoms: uncontrollable rage"? People need to stop making everything into a condition.

I go on a walk every morning (at least like 3k steps but I often get 10k like consistently) and the second I stop maintaining it I go out of my mind. Wish I had a nicer more secluded place to walk but it's not at all optional for me.

>>308599
Yes, they would - it's called white coat hypertension 8D

Whatever validity there may be in acknowledging "living in a less than optimal state" has physical symptoms, balkanising the causes seems counter productive.

real or fake?
I think it's fake and can be explained by poor ventilation or claustrophobia