/dep/ - Depression

There's been several major deaths in my family over the past few years. People that actually respected me and whose company I enjoyed. They're all gone now. Tomorrow, I will have to call some of them and finish up some things I've been putting off for almost a decade now.

I tried to find a picture of something happy. Here is a picture of an ice cream cone.

I read up on the best ways to do it, charcoal seemed one of the better ones so I went with that. Bought it a few days ago and I've been dwelling on wether I should light the fire. I think I'll finally do it, I can't really find any hope in continuing on anymore.

I thought that at 44 years old this stuff wouldn't get at me anymore but I was wrong.

All those cute couples rollerblading. Young mothers pushing strollers and smiling. People laughing in the park. People playing soccer in the field. Everyone is so happy, so content with their lot in life. They are so well-adjusted to this life.

People talking in upbeat tones. Groups of people socializing, laughing, smiling.

Everywhere I went today it was like this.
Its amazing how easy life is when you are neurotypical. It's like everything falls into place without much struggle and effort. You are always pre-programmed to get the most out of life without having to do anything special to make it happen.

Post here if you don't have enough to say for a new thread, but it's too depressing for the crawl thread.

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>>306157

I don't know, I'm 24 years old and basically I haven't done anything but stay in my room. I'm usually on the computer and reading books, although lately I've let myself go and just been eating snacks and using Steam. Being flooded with strange thoughts, I've tried to write to you all, but the writings are even stranger. I also know I'm very slow because I'm contemplative, and in general, I find it hard to adapt to anything or do anything. I don't know how to do anything particularly well, and feeling like everything outside is such a rushed, chaotic, dangerous world… I don't know, it scares me. I feel worried about my future. Although I feel good walking in the woods, I don't even know why I'm writing this. I don't know, like many other things, I just wanted to write it, maybe with a hidden reason inside me. I haven't been feeling well lately, although it's been an interesting and incredible trip. I'm sleepy. Hugs to everyone, I love you all.

Ok i gonna give you some advice around hypnosis and mind (the thread of magick tech have some info books and etc around this)
>how its works?
Just imagine a kid waking up by her mom/father/tutor in the morning yelling out him with insults while maybe hit the kid, this kid will have the day ruined maybe with bad humour and negative ideas (imagine this everyday, of the childhood) and it will feel like a total piece of shit, the other personal thing of this kid doesnt matter for now but get the outcome.
now compare this to a kid waking up by her mom/father/tutor with a warm -good day, today is a good day!- in a soft loving tone voice while try to maybe hurry the kid a little or help the kid to wake up (or even try to wake up the kid with more time to not hurry you too much)

These two kids in the waking up (even adults) are incredible suggestionable, just imagine who of the two will have a more good outcome in the day, and even in the next day if the first phrases they listen when wake up and enter in the mind are like
-Wake up little piece of useless meat-shit asshole fuc…! hit and yell the kid*-
and
-Good morning, honey, kiss in the forehead while some family touch* its a warm day, wake up you need to go to prepare for school!-
You get it?

>Mind Hygiene
Try to no listen to sad music, sad pop music etc (lana del rey, billie eilish and etc)
Try to no listen to sad music before bed/before sleep/when wake up
Try to no listen to music that trigger rumiation or bad sad ideas, even before bed
Try to no listen sad music when you just wake up (you still can listen happy energy music)
Try to no rumiate before sleep or have bad sad ideas bacause maybe you can wake up with that idea in mind in the wake up and this maybe can ruin your next day
Try to no watch sad or deppresive things in media, or get straight out of the media and ignore it
Try to listen to happy energy music in some activies to make a constant trigger for you when you need it (the same sad trigger of music can be made with a happy trigger of energy happy music)
Try to NO have negative ideas or rumiation when you just wake up (next tip explain it why and how to use this in a positive way around hypnosis) and if you got into it, try to use a reality check technique later i mention
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I miss being a proper neet so much and im jealous of people who can be
I miss just being able to play some stupid game 12 hours a day and watch videos on the side
i still dont have friends or a gf so what am I doing
everything is worse
my body
my mind
my freedom

Was reading "Look Me in The Eye" and was inspired by the phrase, "He'll remember this when he's 40." What are those things that people said to you that you never forgot? Can be positive or negative, recent or distant past.

In 9th or 10th grade, a random succubus who wasn't even in my class said, "There's something wrong your shirt. Everytime I see you there's something wrong with you." I don't know why she was in my classroom, and I never saw her again afterwards. Of course I said nothing like a pathetic slave. They echo in my mind almost 10 years after.

I've seen this discussed in many threads so I made a thread for it. Many wizzies had had their life destroyed by psychiatric medication be it SSRI's, antipsychotics, benzodiazepines or others. A psych ward stay tends to leave you worse off. Some people get abused in psychiatric institutions. Mentioning you are sad and thinking about suicide to a doctor or nurse can get you forcefully restrained and tranquilised.
I'm suicidal but I avoid any medical help precisely for this reason.

Very late 20s. Never been on a date, never been approached. Never had any friends, only acquaintances. Not even meme internet "friends". I always thought these things would naturally come to me at a later age, but they never did. With each passing year it gets worse. There is something profoundly wrong with me, it's like the part of my brain that's responsible for human contact was amputated at birth