First of all my stats:
27yo
KHHV (haven't had any physical contact with a female in 8 solid years, but at this point I am to depressed to even care.)
My life is currently in shambles, it already started breaking in childhood, despite me trying to prevent it from doing so ever since I was around 13years old.
My childhood was fucked from the get go, mom was extremely lazy and a horder, 90% except my room and bedroom of our 200m2 house until recently (9months ago) have been unlivable. Clothes, rotten food, trash and used female hygiene products everywhere. If i tried to clean up anything she got hysterical and screamed at me/pulled my hair out.
Parents were constantly fighting, about the trash (my father got into tirades every second day but never did anything), about my father cheating (partially my moms paranoia/partially real cheating), her not cooking any food, my dad not giving her enough money (he gave her 2k per month, she spent it all on clothes).
My mom never cooked, when she cooked lunch, it was 3h after i got home from school (4pm) and she just threw some pasta in a pan with cheese (no vegetables no meat, literally just pasta and cheese) or something simmilarl. She stopped cooking altogether when i turned 13, had to cook for myself ever since, in a kitchen, which never got cleaned or had its dishes done. Parents provided me with no knowledge on nutrition and I didn't learn anything about it in school either. I also lived 5 miles from the nearest store with no public transport to get there, so I couldn't even get any groceries etc. Basically was forced to eat the trash my parents fed me. I got to eat a meal that had lean meat in it maybe 1 a month when I was at a friends house, but thats about it.
No friends in high school, constant bullying and physical abuse (got beat up so bad once, that EMTs had to be called and i had to be transported to a hospital). Told teachers, they didn't care, told parents, mother didn't care, father told me it was my mothers problem and threatened to beat me up if I refused to go. Grades dropped because of falling apart mentally, parents punished me by restricting my computer access (at this point the only window to the outside that I still had), teachers constantly targeted me specifically to motivate me to use my bootstraps, which obviously backfired, grades+mental health dropped further. I finally had a breakdown and refused to go back to school, which resulted
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.