/dep/ - Depression

Hey Wizards!

I would like to discuss my situation with you…. 3 weeks ago I lost my shitty job and now I am a NEET. I'm 22 years old but I'm not considering trying to get into University because I'm low income plus several of my friends just graduated . I would like to be a programmer but I don't have a computer to program.

I post here because I have nowhere else to go, it hurts me that outside of here I can't express myself, if I could just say what I think I would feel free but I will probably end up getting beaten up because I respond in a very aggressive way so I have no choice but to write in this internet memoir and no one will have any fucking idea who wrote it.

I am that same Indian guy who made the post about having C-PTSD and living with abusive parents. I have hit a new low, I think I am becoming low T, I check every symptom on the box, having brain fog, constantly fatigue, constantly sleepy, not being able to get it up anymore, no more morning woods, and no erections.

The problem is this, I am still a student and the effects of having low T are affecting my studies greatly, risking me going into a negative feedback loop where I feel like it's gonna take a toll on my studies. And thus reduce my likelihood of getting a job. I have managed to start gym after intense fighting with my parents.

But there is only so much I can push them as someone who is dependent upon them. I am sorry to post this here, after few long years, I just burst our crying today when my parents denied me to visit a urologist, while I have no symptoms (apart from slight shrinkage of my testicles), I probably have Varicocele too.

This is more of an SOS post, please if there is someone here who can take me away from my parents please do. Please give me a home, some love, some help to fix myself. I hate my life, I hate constantly being low T. My parents also hate all sorts of medicines, and they are going to freak out if the doctor recommends a surgery for varicocele. I can't get a job in this tough market either. It's truly hellish being a crab in the third world shithole.

Low T is affecting all areas of my life, and there is no redemption in sight, is my entire life going to be like this from this point on?

I want to rant about a certain succubus – my 8 year old sister.
She looks hopeless to me. She has extremely bad behavior in general (ten times worse than of a toddler half her age), she's shameless and degenerate (doesn't mind walking around the house in nothing but her underwear just because "it's hot", likes slutty clothes and behaves in slutty ways; doesn't mind talking about gross things such as literal shit, often opens the bathroom's door when others are inside as a "joke", etc), she's spoiled, she's addicted to YouTube and stupid phone "games", and while she behaves like a toddler in some areas at the same time she also displays manipulative and psychopathic evil succubus traits that wouldn't manifest at this age yet, etc.
Although I start my day in the afternoon (since I go to bed closer to dawn), I'm temporarily woken up every day at around 8 or 9 AM which is when she wakes up to go to school, and I always hear my mother screaming at my sister, and my sister also screaming back. Recently I even heard my mother have a breakdown because of her behavior (not the first time it happened).
At her best, she's just noisy and hyperactive and can't shut up and stop bothering others, and if I point that out my parents say that she's "just lively" or "just playing around" or "just a kid". Also they don't let me hit her back if she hits me (because they say it will somehow make her docile and accepting of abuse in the future).
I spent years hoping that as she grows she'll become better behaved, but if anything it looks like she's only degrading, so at this point I realized that she's a genetic failure, and her non-inherent negative traits have been solidified by now (by my parents spoiling her, etc) and are being constantly strengthened and thus should be nearly impossible to reverse. If you deny her anything (like jewtube, mobile "games", etc), she'll start screaming and behaving like a crazed beast (especially bad since I live in an apartment – what are the neighbors led to think when they hear it?), so she can't be "unspoiled" unless she was left in a schizo padded room for a week. By the way, she's not low IQ per se and if anything she seems smarter than average (although she behaves worse than a nigger monkey with 30 IQ), and she has decent looks, and of course, my mother is always complimenting her on those things and boosting her ego.
When she was conceived my mother was close to 40 already, and while that didn't make herPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

Gentlemen, it's completely done for me. At the age of 21, it's done for my cock. It's ruining my fantasy life. I have been so stressed out from work and studying that no longer does my dick feel alive. I can't get an erection using my imagination, for past 4 months I have had no morning wood, even if at this point some miracle was about to happen I would still stay a virgin. And this is despite the fact that I don't have death-grip and haven't watched porn for past 7 months.

What do you think is their plan with recents studies and articles showcasing the way men are starting to approach succubi less? Besides obviously adding fuel to the fire to the gender war between normalniggers, how far does it go? Is monkeypox involved in all of this? Creating awareness of single men at the same time a sexually transmited disease appears? Set things up to re-establish a lesser version of homophobia to keep an eye on non-compliant normies? What are its intended purposes, and, how long will it take them to finally mention in mainstream media sexual demoralization being the cause of degeneracy altogether? I personally believe they have a long way to go, two years or so before they start to quote current statistics and connect the dots.

Real succubi are such fucking disappointments. they don't care about getting choked by a tall guy with broad shoulders. They just wanna get money and attention. Stupid animals.

How do you cope with the suffering in this hell called life? Do you drink? Take drugs? Do you have hobbies?
What do you do to stay sane?

I hate it when other wizards talk trash to you, it make me feel like shit. there's no way those who talk trash are wizard, this behavior is of normalfags.
I'm sur there's orher wizzards who got in a bad mood because of jerks who trashtalk them thinking they're superior while in fact they share traits with normalfags.
it make me depressed because they think they're right and they gloat in their own self and illusion

I feel complete apathy towards everything and everyone. everything I used to love so dearly now bores me to death. is this what growing up feels like? there is nothing new in life I feel like I want to experience. I feel like I've done everything I've ever given a shit about. nothing excites me anymore. I'm stuck in an endless mental rut. any other wizzies feel the same? I'm gonna have to start wageslaving soon. I want off this ride

Why did I live like an NPC? In the past I kept having moments of clarity where I felt like I woke up and had the choice how I want my life to go only to go back to wasting time online. You don't need foresight to know that if you don't work towards anything nothing happens. I felt FOMO but for what? Inane chatter online that gets forgotten once its done? Video games: challenges made by others that have no impact on real life? Fictional stories that don't teach me anything? I might be depressed but depression won't get better without doing anything. I just don't know how I could have been so weak willed and allowed myself to remain in such a pathetic state. To not see my weakness as something I need to deal with. Now I dug myself into such a deep hole when the economy sucks. And I don't know if I have the time to get out of it anymore.