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How did you get over your crippling social anxiety? Even going to the store is a battle for me.
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but I can't physically fight so I can't afford to chimp out like a nigger, like you do.


fights are in tv but thats not reality bud. You are scared of the unknown but thats a normal thing. see, thing is, you have to "win" situations to get a better mindset about your life.
its okay to ignore bullys but remember, you need "wins" too, otherwise something satanic will build up in you. for me, buddhism helped me alot, i live in an almost empty apartment, people cant hurt me no more, they cant take away things off of me, im already gone, its just the flesh left.


children, teens, adults, the amount of evil (appetite for bullying and other forms of cruelty, etc) in people doesn't change, but how it manifests does. the typical "school yard" bullying which most people define as "bullying" fades away, but is replaced by other forms abuse. like your boss chewing you out over minor mistakes and giving you shit assignments for petty reasons. i would argue that the style of abuse changes but the quantity usually does not. so in a certain rhetorical context, the poster you responded to is correct. what most people define as "bullying" doesn't really leave the school yard, but rather is replaced with a different system of cruelty inflicted in a different style.

i don't agree with his point on attacking first, but i do believe that harsh retaliation against people who attack you is necessary. you need to show bullies you aren't a soft target. if they know you will defend yourself, they will look for new prey. they are cowardly filth looking for easy fun.


>you said you're a teacher so i'm going to not read the content of your posts and just criticize you based on my assumptions



Why do you remain with them?
When I found anything in a job I despised I started making plans for moving to a different one.
Never stagnate.


smartest person in the room but talking to you is just a waste of time, typical smartass behavior, using big words but in the end nothing more than unhelpful,general statements to collect karma points.
>harsh retaliation against people who attack you is necessary
because attacks=attacks? you are the big mr. teacher but refuses to differentiate between "attacks", interesting. random occurring attacks of strangers are not same as attacks of people from your close social circle though. this is why >if they know you will defend yourself, they will look for new prey
is just not really the case here bud.
>i don't agree with his point on attacking first
why are white people scared of Untermenschen then? i am careful in their near because i know they have no barrieres to attack me first, right? screaming at people first to turn the table from the beginning in your favor are basics of cult and religion school. i dont want to go into details because i enjoy you guys suffering but in reality its basically "whoever screams first, wins" but anyway, for you its better to leave and never come back.


for the longest time, every time i have to leave my computer to go somewhere and do something, all im thinking about is how much it sucks and how much i want to go back to my room. like every time i have school work or go to my job, im just thinking about when i can come back and play vidya and masturbate to cartoons. and every time this is interrupted by something, like when i have to get ready to go to bed, i am extremely irritated. and its funny, because whenever i do have a ton of time on my hands, i usually just waste it all away and get really depressed that i still have to be awake for 12 more hours


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I know what you mean, anon, on one hand I'm glad that I'm not the only one who feels like this, but on the other hand I'm sad about it too because I wouldn't wish this on anybody.

I'm not entirely sure how people like me and you develop this sort of mental state in the first place, but I guess it's mostly a matter of what we feel about the things life has to offer.

As far as I'm concerned, there are good things in life, but I'm not confident in saying that they make life worth it, things like college, work, chores in general, it's all a huge burden that you have to carry in order to enjoy the few parts of life that are actually decent, but by being a condition to enjoy those things they take away from our enjoyment because those pleasurable activities don't seem like they're worth the effort of existing.

Everytime I have to go to college, everytime I have to study, everytime I have to drive somewhere, everytime I have to do something I don't want to do, it's like I'm going to snap, and I start hitting myself and the furniture in my room to vent out my frustration and misery, I've come to a point where, while being in my room isn't exactly amazing, it's comfortable and feels safe from the fire outside, in this hell of a world, I want to be protected at all times, that's all.



same always been like this. Whenever i have to leave my weed dungeon computer room i'm just very pissed off. Like im raging and always do things the quickest way possible to get back home. Fuck this dumb life.


Same. I don't think it's curable. I bought into the exposure therapy meme but all it did was giving me more traumatic experiences to occasionally recall and torment me. Rather then desensitizing me, I feel like exposure just reinforce my belief to avoid going out. Make sense considering going out and doing things are pure pain so all this time I were giving myself electric shocks telling me that I was right to avoid this. I have given up by now. I'll find a way to live without going out or interacting with people and if it's not possible then I'll kill myself. Fuck dealing with those kind of bullshit again.

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My mother caught me about to overdose last night. She cried and hugged me. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to upset her despite the shit she's put me through, but I can't take existence. Nothing is going right. The only thing keeping me sane is h, and I'm so deep in debt that I can't afford more. I want to close my eyes and have the world disappear. I want to surf through my own ideal, surrounded by joy. I've lost so much.
>ready to die
>stop eating
>spend the day high and drinking
>finally end it
>my mother undoes all of my progress
Every time I try anything, I fuck it up. I can't die properly. I can't bleed beautifully. I can't do fucking anything.
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Is it possible? I've seen most markets restricting fent.


Only a moron uses that, even a slight OD kills you.


Do you want to die or not? Y'all just wanna LARP on /dep/ your whole life. If you want to die, do fent.


You don't actually want to die


That's the point? I'd gladly do some but it seems like they're cracking down on it pretty hard.

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Just curious.
Anyone observe and examine their own mental states and consciousness?
Anyone create their own ideas about how the mind works, their own series of political philosophies, their own metaphysics?
Anyone have complicated thoughts that you can't explain in words, but that you can repeatedly come back to, and build on over time?
Interested in the nature of things six ways from sunday, i.e. you can't stop thinking about what something "really means"?
Anyone with 130+ or even 150+ IQ?
Anyone remember things in unbelievable amounts of detail and find contradictions where most people see none?
Anyone dissociate from reality and think so fast and so hard, that when you come back, the real world doesn't make sense and you're surprised to see others still thinking in the same old ways?

If so, how far did you go? How deep did you think? What was it like?
If you're not able to do this stuff, how do you feel about people who can?

I sure hope this thread doesn't devolve into talking about basic-tier stuff like bland hatred of society, space or time travel or paranormal stuff, favoritism for a political ideology, or (my favorite) criticizing, and repeating memes related to IQ because I mentioned the word IQ.
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I've been living in the normie slavery realm and having my insane thoughts run parallel. For me it was 17(or before) to 30 when I created the "reality theory", or the thing, or the other world. Was 16 when I noticed there were two of me (can't explain, very specific). Gradually became more aware.

Recently found out I have a working memory score that is off the charts, like 160+. So it explains why I am able to think about things in so much detail. Dissociation is common. My personality is also pretty intense, I describe my thinking like a giant wall of machine gun cannonballs.

I've created a lot of stuff, including the methods of analyzing my own creations. It went pretty far, and it's pretty hard to explain mostly because I don't remember, but now I know that they were probably real for the most part.

For some reason, I didn't know or understand it was even possible to express or formalize your own thoughts or mental states. And whenever I tried, it just came out like gibberish, and of course nobody agrees regardless. But now I have the meta-knowledge that I probably did something and got somewhere, within the constraints of my own biases and limitations.

Wellbutrin erased everything in 2018. I even knew it could happen because I know about unpredictability of those drugs and I did it anyway. Things fall apart! Wellbutrin permanently nuked my emotional sensitivity and memory, also strangely made everything easy and gave me a lot of energy, again permanently. It's been weird living this way…

I'm here to say that you should always try to express yourself, as a rule, even if what you're saying is disorganized, stupid, a copy of something else, even if no one agrees. And even, and especially, if it's too hard for you to even write it, to the point that writing doesn't even seem like a real thing that anyone could do. No matter the form, I'd rather have it exist in this world, than not.


>Is anyone here a thinker?
I think I am


Yeah, it sucks. I wish I was as dumb as any other normie ape.


The order is death. In a heat death of the universe scenario, the difference between extremums and of any given point of all space is so miniscule that no interaction could ever occur, no processes to continue. Hence it is similar to concept we think death is.
Chaos is life. Sea of possibilities, all ripe and ready for birth but the unstable nature of space itself dismantles anything before anything meaningful can unfold itself.


no i am a idiot

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I considered myself a "veteran". Been through multiple suicide attempts, survived being by myself most of my adult life, survived being temporarily homess, survived mental institutions, survived almost going to jail, survived heavy drug abuse, survived countless overdoses.

But I forgot one thing. I wasn't supposed to make it this far. My oath is knocking on my door. Everything I've done was me expecting to be dead by this age and year. Got no money, no neetbux, parents that aren't really there and I can't blame them either.

I can do it but I'm scared. Suicide and death are violent, no such thing as a peaceful and painless death. The body shutting down is supposed to hurt. Just remembering being unable to breath or move, my chest cracking open and my eyes popping off my skull makes me tremble in fear. I regret not recording music for the last time, or never having completed my writings. Literature and poetry really grew into me. So much beauty in reading the rants of another wizard from 100 years ago.

Had to get this out of my chest, I'll do something stupid and I can't tell if I'll make it unscathed. But I genuinely loved this place, and to my end you're all my brothers and I deeply care about every single one of you.
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What if they don't respect it? You will be conscious without being able to talk or walk for decades.

That's worse than dying a hundred times.


>beleive me
No. It is basic chemistry, you messed something up if you attempted it and failed.
Still the best way If you live in Europe is get a percussion black powder gun and aim for the brain stem. Some people are just irrationally squeamish about bodily harm. (Somewhat me included)
>1. Take 30 mg metoclopramide (another editor suggested 800 mg of Tagamet, as well).
>2. Wait 1 hour.
>3. Dissolve 15 – 25 g sodium nitrite in 50 ml municipal tap water.
>4. Drink the solution and relax on a bed, a couch, or a reclining chair.
As for carbon monoxide the thing the wiz in the pic used was this https://sanctioned-suicide.org/threads/formic-acid-sulphuric-acid-method.233/


Seems like he was scared shitless during his last moments, hands trembling and all of that.
I suppose you truly need to be out of your mind on some drugs in order to override the survival instinct.


Not everyone has a car and how would someone survive a train? That does not seem likely.

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90% of the time I sleep, I wake up after 4 hours. Sometimes I can fall back asleep and get another 4 hours, but a lot of the time, like right now, I know it’s futile.

I think the reason I snapped is because I was forced to live with my fucked up family that I hate. My dad is a divorce-raped pathetic shell, stepmom is a literal ghetto nigger single mom, and my brother is a 10 year heroin addict who made a lateral move to a cocktail of incapacitating anti-psychotics (so basically just the same thing).
After dinner, I would go to the gym and do 30min-1hour of cardio. This served to alleviate the stress of being in the same house as them, and also a reason to get out of the house and away from them. I had been making preparations to move out, as I was desperate to, and I think being robbed of this, due to the initial lockdown, took me over the edge.

Once covid hit the gyms closed. Having no outlet to relieve the stress, feeling trapped with my family, and with anxiety about Covid, I just snapped awake one night in may 2020 after 4 hours of sleep.

For the first 3-4 months this was a nightly thing and it felt horrible. I would wake up and feel disoriented and exhausted; struggling through the day. Around 6 months my body started to adjust to it, and now, over a year later, it’s not that big of a deal. I did move away in January 2021, but the sleeping issues are still persisting.

Im skeptical of sleep apnea because I’ve slept for 7-8 hours a handful of times without issue. On those nights I didn’t do anything anything different than my normal routine. I think, unfortunately, that my cortisol levels or something of that nature got fucked up, and I’m always in a hyper aroused state, or at least have a low level of stress.

Point is, I’m wondering if I could get the bux if I spin this the right way. If I had to work going on 4-5 hours of sleep most days, I’d probably end up killing myself. I had several doctors visits in the first few months trying to find something that worked, and I also have records nearly a year later from when I got an alprazolam prescription for sleep/stress. That did work somewhat, but the sleep felt “false” and was never really deep. Even with a very gradual taper from the drug, I had extremely unpleasant brain zaps and anxiety and paranoia that was so bad I thought I would have a seizure out in public.

If I use this documentation, could I get the bux?
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Drinking with such low benzo doses will sometimes cancel their effects.


You're not getting on bux for insomnia, lel. Nice try though. Yes if you were a wageslave like me you'd be fucked and forced into a life of homelessness after not being able to keep a job.


It's still so funny to me neetbux even exists.

While in my country you slave all day to get $400 at the end of the month some random european gets 1,5k€ a month for existing


So you drink regularly, you stopped exercising and your family is annoying, is there anything else? Also why do you need a gym to do cardio? Can't you just run around outside?


I've had sleep issues since july of 2019 when i failed a semester of college. You might laugh but for me that was the final blow. I feel completely detached from the world once i leave my room, i just don't want to be here anymore.
You probably feel the same anon. I hope running will benefit me and hopefully resolve my sleeping issues

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Even if humanity were to colonize the universe, it would all be meaningless. Yes, there are other planets with resources and stuff. So what? How is that special? How is that unique? How is that significant in any way?

Life, the universe, there is no escaping it and you're trapped. It's a closed system and you're here to suffer.
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I can only laugh at this little cult we have here on /dep/. They're all so pathetic, pretentious, but it is kinda funny to observe them


I don't get what you're saying. I don't remember my past life if I had one and I still suffer in this one. If I reincarnate when I die I won't remember this life, but chances are I'll still suffer in that one. It doesn't matter if I remember.
Why even bother making such an utterly worthless post? Just go away.


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Yes, they don't care. And as an antinatalist I don't care either it's exactly like the matrix though cliche I can detached from reality.

They see us as an aberration. People will still waste their time and try to bully people who reject life into conformity exactly like a virus, arguing absurdities and lunacies about the unborn like sophomoric philosophy students.



This universe is based on eating suffering. Carbon life forms are so gross. And human body is so wrong, instead of going straight down there's a spine. The way humans are born is an hellish act in itself. Life doesn't feel like a punishment,
instead it feels like an experiment of free will. I want to escape so bad.

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So I'm trying to buy a CPAP mask without a prescription for obvious reasons now the problem with this is that you can't buy a CPAP mask without one you can only buy the parts but I have no idea what parts to buy and what is compatible with what if anyone has a list of parts with links on Amazon that would be fantastic.


I'm in the US btw


permanent solution to a most-likely temporary problem. Try to get yourself 5150'd so you can chill in the looney bin for a while and think things through


Is that you?

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 No.233017[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Please share links and footages of people suiciding and caught on camera…it would be better if it is made by teens.
Any type of suicide is okay
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you're normal


he's high on adrenaline or because of the loss of blood, imagine finding him like this blood literally everywhere


Very traumatic, specially if it's someone you care about


I don't mind seeing people get their heads blown off or jumping from buildings, but there's something about blades and bleeding out that always makes me really queasy. It's not traumatic to me or anything, but some survival instinct kicks into my body that just makes me want to faint when I see blood pouring out of someone who is still alive.


i don't know tbh, i mean i wouldn't go the cutting route, it's just unnecessarily messy.
I think cutting is a tell-tale sign of some sort of borderline personality disorder or histrionic disorder

[Last 50 Posts]

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Can medications really save one from suicide?

I feel like I may actually succumb to my suicidal ideations if I don't get help soon.
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if youre so underage that you dont know about the darknet then you shouldnt be posting here


enjoy getting assraped in prison once you get caught


they dont give a fuck about some small-time buyer in my country, the penalties arent that bad. Further, it would be essentially impossible for police to prove anything, so the risk is minimal. If you dont have the capacity to understand this, then sure it is not for you


meanwhile, a shoplifter repeats similar logic as you.


Shoplifting is much riskier, much less reward and is morally questionable. Using drugs is a victimless crime that can enhance your life extremely significantly, and it is morally positive to help support the black market

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