[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]

/dep/ - Depression

Password (For file deletion.)

  [Go to bottom]  [Catalog]  [Reload]  [Archive]

File: 1567625414019.jpg (61.42 KB, 700x400, 7:4, 73.jpg) ImgOps iqdb


How do you deal with thought based OCD?

I have a fucked up one, its damn scary.. it forces me to think on things I dont want. Whenever I calm one subject my mind decides to obsess about (and it always has to be something that will cause me all kinds of bad feelings).. It will insist jumping to another fucked up subject. It will even come up in my dreams.
It especially loves to bring up episodes from my awful past, my mistakes, guilt, fears, imagined stuff, even schizo stuff and even "what ifs" if my luck would be even worse than it already was.

Pic related: depiction of how it physically feels like (more or less)
13 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


My OCD could be decribed as an auto-immune disease. In auto-immune disease the body is attacking itself. My OCD would be like thoughts, visions and images poppping into my head with the purpose of torturing/attacking my psychological sanity.


Moldovian brain slugs. They crawl into your nostrils while you're swimming.



Yep that's my OCD. It has no purpose but to literally TORTURE me.
It goes against my struggle to feel better, it is an opposing force to every step I try to do to help myself.


I have the most fucked up intrusive thoughts due to childhood trauma (don't have urges to act on them and they fully disgust me hence the term "intrusive thoughts") but I noticed if I just let them pass they eventually go away. If I obsess over them then they continue to bother me ironically enough.


Are you sure that's not just normal?

File: 1568433687162.jpeg (4.08 KB, 164x160, 41:40, waitaminutedolan.jpeg) ImgOps iqdb


Sometimes, I'll hear a normie use the following argument:

>X had to endure all these terrible things for decades. You can definitely survive what you're going through!

Or a slightly flipped-on-its-head version:

>Anon, you've gone through X, and Y; surely you can take on Z.

Isn't the logic completely flipped here? When I hear these stories, I'm not inspired at all. I end up thinking, "Why the fuck did X carry on at all?! You're proving my point!" All these 'inspirational' stories are just proof that giving up is often the best course of action.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.


They have to tell themselves survival is inspiring to justify the misery of their existence.


The fact that you're complaining to people about your "problems" in a way that makes them give you advice makes me think that you're an attention whore.


I'll be honest and say the one of the only reasons I live is making it to the next loaf of bread and watching random shit on youtube. Everything else is done with my morning coffee and dealt with stress wise with kava. Every other desire you just beat down like whack a mole.


underrated post


it's not survival in and of itself that is inspiring but the overcoming of a conflict/problem. I also consider that inspiring, wish I had the capabilities to do that.


My mom is constantly complaining under her breath about the mess of the house, yet most of it is made either by dogs she unilaterally decided to bring here, or her live-in boyfriend who she unilaterally decided to move in. Sometimes it comes to the point of shouting and it is very difficult to empathize as I know I would not have made these choices, and if I regretted their outcomes so much, would have gone back on them.

Half of her rage is justified as this guy is a slob, and he constantly blames me and my brother for things he actually does, like make a mess of the kitchen and leaving toilets full of shit. To avoid her meltdowns I sometimes flush a toilet he leaves behind or wipe up a mess he left.

It angers me greatly that he then goes and blames me for behavior I never do, for his own behaviors that I cover for. If not for having to actually use the toilet/kitchen occasionally I would more often leave his mess for her to find, which I have been trying to make an effort to do.

At the same time, she is quick to yell about noise, which gets yelling in return, and this is upsetting for me so I generally try to find a way to leave the room, preferably the house by taking the dogs out back.

I get angry at her for doing this, not because of getting angry (because it is understandable) but because she refuses to harness her anger to actually make a choice to solve the problem: ending the abusive relationship. She won't get counseling, won't find a support group, and inevitably will lash out at anyone who even agrees with her momentary criticisms of him, accusing them (including myself, her mother, her siblings) of not wanting her to be happy, being a racist, etc.

I'm increasingly becoming resolved to simply give up on this family, more and more it is just economic feasability which keeps me here as I've never had a high-enough paying job to rent a bachelor apartment in the area. Even renting a room (non-private bathroom) or taking a room-mate would be very expensive, and those introduce unknowns I would need to navigate which are frightening.

I feel trapped so I continue to bear this abuse. But it makes it hard to sleep, hard to read, I'm afraid to begin my schooling because I know how hard it makes to study. But unless I can get a psych to acknowledge my anxiety and depression for big bux it doesn't seem likely I'll find a path out of this without getting a high enough education to start at a high-wage jobPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


>get some little plastic baggies
>crush up asprin into fine powder
>put asprin powder in bags
>casually mention to mom over a few days he has been having convos with people about weird stuff while she isnt around
>one day,put little bags of asprin powder either in a place she will find it like on bathroom floor, floor of kitchen, or "find" it yourself
whatever you feel will be the most organic. little things are easy for someone to accidently drop.
>blame him and cite his strange behavior

or just snoop through his stuff for a SS number and call the social security office and report him dead. say youre a neighbor, make up just some bullshit story. if he doesnt have a formal income, your story could at least partially check out, or if he does have a job say you are doing this because you KNOW someone stole his identity to be able to work in the US illegally, hes dead so you need a death certificate for his family. this will fuck his life up badly and its a huge expensive pain in the ass to un-death someone.


Do you feel like you simply are not meant to be here on Earth?

Do you feel apathy towards the traditional metric of human growth and success (allegiance, military service, philanthropy, job, family, children, property, wife, friends)?

Do you frequently question you being here on this planet as a member of this species?

A lot of troubles in my life can be summed up to being incompatible with people. I simply don't "get" things that appear to be intuitive/common knowledge to other people. I don't care about most of things people care about. I don't display the "appropriate" emotions at the "appropriate" opportunities.

Every groid stereotype you can think up, I likely don't fit the mold. It's as if a divine power stuck the spirit of an alien or animal into this fleshy body to observe how'd it turn out to have opposing elements exist together, because they were bored.

Now, let's return to the original question: do you feel like an alien stranded on Earth? Please elaborate.
5 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


There is a certain emotional and cognitive distance that I notice towards other people. They react to situations and events instinctual and without delay while I most times don't know how to feel and what to do when things happen.

If I was a mere spectator of the universe around I'd be happy. But I'm involved in it and suffer just like the all other living beings and thus this distance from other life forms makes the suffering even worse. Normal people seem to have found their way of dealing with pain through categories like job, family etc. which you listed but we have to invent our own categories but this is much harder, takes more time and is barely appreciated and often disregarded by other people who in effect act against us making it even more difficult to have a endurable existence.


I would assume he'd use this thread as an example


No, I just feel like I was accidentally made more sane than everyone else on the planet and this fucks me over massively because you need to be insane to operate in a world full of insane people.


>There is a certain emotional and cognitive distance that I notice towards other people. They react to situations and events instinctual and without delay while I most times don't know how to feel and what to do when things happen.

Having to fake these sort of reactions to things is why I pretty much just stopped interacting with people altogether. It's just so tiresome.


Same here. For example, deaths in the family don't make me feel anything and I react neutrally. It's pleasant to remove myself from interacting with people unless it is necessary. I find comfort in insulating myself from people and their problems.

File: 1567732642804.jpg (36.88 KB, 550x550, 1:1, truth2.jpg) ImgOps iqdb


>On average, clinically depressed individuals can suffer from the symptoms anywhere between six and eight months.
This article reads like a fucking joke. It's been going on for at least seven years now. For those who haven't had it their whole life, how long have you had it?
13 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


Nice picture.


Nice album, one of my favorites


Not true, everybody finds a way to cope with his illness, for some its the internet or video games, drawing, sports and for others its working. Stop this truewiz crap already.


For some people working does help them deal with it if they aren't experiencing the psycho-motor breakdown and instead feel depression as dread, doom, or are in a state of panic. "If I stop working it'll get me" or "don't look and it can't get me" kind of running away from the negative feelings since if you train your mind enough through routine and habit it will continue to distract itself when you're losing energy to do it with will/focus. Depression is very complicated and the different elements of it can be stronger in people at different times. I've gone through many variations of depression for many years and you can feel the difference when your body isn't responding and when you can feel strong negative emotions.

It is frustrating to see people who describe depression that feels less serious than yours but depression is very complicated and has different facets. I can nearly identify when my primary issue is my body not responding from when my mind can't even understand the concept of non-suffering. I've been laying in my piss soaked bed unable to move and I've been a retarded zombie in a warehouse repeating to myself "i cant kill myself yet" over and over under my breath to keep focus. We can hope in the future someone, or we, will be able to develop a more articulate system of defining our depressive experience and connect to people with the more relatable experience. It is frustrating wiz but lashing out at others is not good - it is not their fault we don't have the accurate language for this.


Good post, I like how you think.

File: 1554833515512.png (52.11 KB, 800x600, 4:3, shot_2.png) ImgOps iqdb


All I head is that the family will be devastated yada yada, but really? Yes, It will be hard for them for a few years, but you will eventually be forgotten. What is your opinion on the family impact wizs?
50 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


i have had many years; and many teachers (who had no more clue(s) to reality than a crackhead chitwawa with a 10 rock a day habit and defective long term memory.)
you are just as well off worshipping a cockroach.
i have been a nihilist from my earliest days.


Same situation as you. Somehow it came up in conversation and my little sister told me she wouldn't know what to do if I died. Her saying that hit me way harder than I expected.


Depends on how useful you were to them, if you were the model kid they would be all devastated, if you were a regret its just going to be a quick acknowledgement. I don't see why my family should be sad if they just see me as a disappointment.
I'd argue for wizards to disappear instead of committing suicide. If you suicide they technically get what they wanted, you exterminated yourself permanently from their existence. If you disappear, it would boggle their mind why. Just look at the reactions for a missing over confirmed dead one.


100% would destroy a lot of families. There's no father in the picture, but my brother and mom don't get along and I can see him blaming her for all of this while she ruins herself. Believe me when I say a lot of shit comes to the foreground when a conflict in the family arises, whether over finances, suicide, or something else.


File: 1568203151788.webm (403.84 KB, 640x266, 320:133, damn.webm) ImgOps iqdb

File: 1567929820692.png (4.37 KB, 37x39, 37:39, secret.png) ImgOps iqdb


I remember years ago, when I was 16 years old. I had hard time in school. I felt bad, generally.
But then I found on youtube movie called the secret. There were normies saying lots of possitive things - that you can basically achieve anything if you would think possitively and if you would visualize in mind what you want to achieve.

That movie can be brainwashing for kids.

I thought that I could try this, perhaps my life would be better.

But it wouldnt change anything at all. It changed only that I forced possitive thinking in my life instead of being realistic.

I was young and stupid.
8 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.


woo woo woo


File: 1568014196290.jpg (312.2 KB, 1000x1333, 1000:1333, awesome-rock.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

Wow this movie is fucking stupid and reeks of normiedom.

People in this movie are paid cash to bullshit and hide by how they got truly rich: Being lucky, running scams.

This idea may help a little the simplified normie with an already established life to rise their own confidence and therefore manage to gain more out of life maybe if they develop a mindstate of "yes I can push myself harder and be less lazy". Because they truly have the options to succeed more, they have ties, they have the normie persona that makes other normies usually more cooperative with them.


Hermetics also sounds retarded.



File: 1568178550160.png (334.53 KB, 510x472, 255:236, honey-boo-boo-meme-generat….png) ImgOps iqdb

yeah that's like 90% of the audience reading The Secret wish themselves


You might as well pray to God. It's easy.

File: 1564944554849.jpg (127.14 KB, 750x732, 125:122, e9503ae20b95bfb2e789b3246a….jpg) ImgOps iqdb


anybody else fail to see the point in posting anything anymore?
i used to write 100 posts a day sometimes on various chans. as time went on, i got more and more cynical and hated people so much i wanted to lessen my interaction with them. the first signs of this were when I'd subconsciously stop writing helpful, kind posts with good grammar, and began writing half-assed shitposts instead. now people accuse me of being a phoneposter but i don't even own a phone, i actually just don't give a fuck.
the few posts i do write now (about a dozen a week) get very few/no replies, even the ones i work relatively hard on or think are funny or want people's opinions on. this is like confirmation to me i shouldn't bother.
i had more to say but i lost motivation around half way through writing this. im just gonna post what i have even though it's unfinished.
64 posts and 9 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


There is not point in being in the internet anymore

Normies and Corporations have ruined all the good sites


Im talking about everything. You wouldnt like them if you dont have the spectrum.


>if you like something for a long time you're autistic!

Wow is this the power of modern psychology?


Hey shut the fuck up faggot, I answered a question that you asked. I didn't tell you that you could change the goalposts like a little bitch. And yes, for your information my tastes have more or less stayed the same my entire life. So what if I'm autistic, that's besides the point. Maybe that just means the problem with people on imageboards is that they aren't autistic ENOUGH. Would I really want some casual fuck posting on a hobby website? Not really.


you arent making any sense at all. look around retard, do you see any names here? this is an anonymous website. you cannot find out someones status or wealth because everyones post has the exact same name on it, Anonymage. everyone is judged by their idea, not their identity.

File: 1559142799984.jpg (125.06 KB, 852x480, 71:40, man_with_noose.jpg) ImgOps iqdb


Anyone here legit have brain damage?

I've never got a brain scan to confirm it, but I'm 99 percent sure I do. 10 years ago when I was 16 I was beaten really badly by a white knight. He hit me with a punch off guard and stomped on my head repeatedly. I was able to get up and go home and never saw a doctor, but I was never the same since that day.

I began stuttering even though I never did before that day, my grades tanked, my thinking became scattered, I became less coordinated, I forget words, even common words, very easily, and my typing speed tanked. I remember my goal used to be to be able to consistently type at 100 wpm and I did those online things to test it and I went from consistently being in the 80-90 wpm range all the way down to 35-40. I also remember literally nothing that happened before middle school, but who knows if that's related.

I think about getting a brain scan to confirm my suspicions but I know nothing can be done about it if that's the case, so why bother. Part of my likes to cling to hope that I just have some sort of mental block that I'll magically snap out of.
56 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


maybe this is why i'm so slow


I would consider my condition myoclonus dystonia to be brain damage, considering that it requires brain surgery to fix/treat.

It's actually caused by a genetic mutation and results in irritating and painful muscle jerking and locking up. Sometimes my fingers lock up and I have to manually move them back with the other hand.

Runs in the family unfortunately and if I had any kids they would probably have it too and I don't want that. Honestly I would rather kill myself than spread this on another generation.

Alcohol really helps but it's easy for someone to say I'm an alcoholic when I'm drinking to avoid this shaking and twitching even though the MD never lets up whether I've not had a drink for 6 months. It's been getting steadily worse since I was 12 or 13 and didn't start drinking until 18. Most infuriating is this problem got me diagnosed with alcoholism because I was stupid and mentioned that my alcohol consumption eased the twitching and shaking and shit.

When I don't drink I have a strong resemblance to a meth addict because I am also thin. This is commented on by people I would happen to interact with in public and has actually lost me more than one job.

This is 100% the source of my depression, lack of social life,and lack of income.


Are you still here Anon…………………


This is not about (You) Anon


is it possible to reverse?


Hello Wizards,

I'm severely obese (1,75m, 184 kg). I've been always kinda chubby as a kid, but things started really escalating around 17.
I'm now 32 years old and already diabetic. Since I'm too pussy to suicide I was wondering if just continuing my current lifestyle was a sufficient way to end my suffering by the age of 45 to 50. It's very important that I die at 50 or earlier as my parents will be gone by that time and I'm incapable of sustaining myself (even though I receive disability benefits, I have not been outside for a decade and the thought alone of going outside to be judged again gives me panic attacks).
Please let me know what you think. Also will my death be rather painless? I'm okay with the pain my current lifestyle puts me in, but scared for it to become worse. Thank you.
3 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.


…..oh, 1_84 kg. fuck.


Seek a professional. I doubt the fat retards here did anything to help their degenerative condition. They will likely tell you that's a good thing.


I think most people die after prolonged heart or infection issues. Like they have a heart attack but first have high blood pressure and stuff. I've known a few fat YouTubers who died around 30. Many die in their sleep. I'm also a fat Wiz.


I never had any romantic relationship with anyone due to my weight. However how is that gonna help me?

I receive benefits due to my rheuma (not sure if thats the right word for it in english)

that sounds perfect. can you give me their names? I'm scared that I will end like boogie2988. He is fatter than me but doesn't seem to die or be close to death


what does your diet consist of?

  [Go to top]   [Catalog]
Delete Post [ ]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]