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File: 1782937102055.jpeg (46.76 KB, 452x600, 113:150, e4483e478af7b66891428b9e6….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.308862[Reply]

I wasted years of my life working and started college late. Last year, I began a degree program in psychology education to see if later I could handle a degree in psychology or become a therapist, and in short it was a disaster. I felt like a damn alien next to my classmates, and I didn’t feel comfortable in class, not with them, not with anything.
This year, I decided to start studying another major focused on the hobbies i love, music related things as hobby. I decided to try music education, and so far everything’s going well, and I even feel comfortable with my classmates, but the social aspect is still killing me.

>What's you cant handle?
>Vocal education
I can't handle vocal training classes I usually freeze up and can't even sing a scale. The strange thing is, I don't know if the teacher plays favorites, but she treats the succubi better, from what I've seen, they've been singing for a while, sing in church choirs around religious things etc, or already have experience with singing and high notes. I don't notice her treating the men the same way or giving them the same attention, and most of the guys haven't practiced singing before. Last time, she told me I don’t sing because I strive too much for perfection i dont believe this is true but this didnt help in anything. I don’t know if she misunderstood me or if she hates me, but I’m not sure if she understands that I can’t control my nerves and i actually told she about this. one day she just told me something in the lines of go to a psychologist bla bla Obviously, I failed her exams. maybe i the problem or she even tried to help much. maybe i will try to change to another teacher next year i dont know.

>Language and music theory problem
The language and music theory classes started a little late, but I love them (with piano classes), and the fun part comes in the later semesters. My only problem is that, because of some university policy, they make us record ourselves and… oh my god, I hate my fucking face. I’ve never liked recording myself, and they even make us record ourselves singing, which is even worse, because I can’t even stand in front of a camera for two seconds without go full into a panic attack of nervers and sadness. i hate mirrors and watching myself in recordings.

I’m seriously thinking about dropping out of this program because I knoPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.308865

>drop out of university bacause of self-steem

When I was in university/college, I knew enough (both male and female) who had these thoughts. Some did drop out. Others remained. Of course I can't speak to what you must be particularly feeling inside yourself personally, but I can say that from my own experiences with classmates/peers who had varying self-esteem issues of all types (eg, convinced they were unattractive, convinced others were mocking them, looking down on them, excluding them, etc.) that 99% of the time these individual issues whereon they had laid so much anxiety and stress appeared to me (as an outside observer) to be completely socially insignificant and things of a sort I would not even have had a consciousness of if they had not confided their worry of them in me.

>The language and music theory classes started a little late, but I love them (with piano classes), and the fun part comes in the later semesters. My only problem is that, because of some university policy, they make us record ourselves and… oh my god, I hate my fucking face.

That's excellent. You've found something you truly enjoy. And I'm sure it'll only get better as you advance higher and higher. To quit something you like this much owing only to insecurity around appearance seems like an unwise choice. I highly doubt you look as bad as you imagine yourself to.

>I can't handle vocal training classes I usually freeze up and can't even sing a scale. The strange thing is, I don't know if the teacher plays favorites, but she treats the succubi better,

All teachers play favorites. Whether music teachers, philosophy teachers, math teachers, english teachers. They all have their favorites. Partiality towards others is human nature and is found everywhere. I dealt with professors who strongly disliked me and oftentimes for reasons I never even understood. If the favoritism shown by this specific instructor however is so great, is there any chance you could find another related instructor who would take you on and through whom you could fulfill your required credit load?

>I just want to disappear,

Again, I knew at least 4-5 students in my own time in university who voiced those exact words "I want to disappear". I remember a few of them stayed within their dorms forasmuch as they could (avoiding in-Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.308866

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>>308862
I drop out of uni after one year of history studies because I couldn't handle all the presentation to give in front of the whole class. it was too much for me; it was like a humiliation ritual (speaking in front of everyone)

 No.308867

well, I can relate to a lot of what you said here, even the acne scars part. You did well in dropping out of psychology, unless that degree actually has a high employment rate in your country. You won't find jobs with a music degree unless you're lucky or quite talented, but at least it may fulfill you, although you could also learn that by yourself which is what I decided to do in my creative hobby. The only benefit of going to college for such a degree in the age of the internet is guidance and discipline, and you don't necessarily need college to get those. There's also making contacts with other people but that relies on what people are available to interact with in your class, if it's only normaloids you may have a hard time making any friends at all. I also think like so many others that modern college is a huge scam, not only of your money but most importantly of your time and youth, but I can only speak from personal experience in my country. I was going to click post, but I also read that you don't want to go back to NEETing, it's certainly not for everybody so I suggest you stay there for a little while and calmly consider what to do in the future, no self-help books or anon wizards have the right answer to that, since we don't know you personally enough to know what's best for your specific case.

 No.308891

try something else. education is turd in 95% of unis anyway.

 No.308898

>>308891
That makes it even worse. In much of the world if you didn't at least complete undergrad, you're permanently relegated to the underclass.


 No.308831[Reply]

There is nothing worse than being dumb, yet smart enough to know the fact that you are dumb. I am constantly forced to live with knowing that i am too stupid to handle even the simplest of tasks, everytime somebody corrects me on something obvious that i should have known i feel so fucking worthless.
2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308838

>>308836
What, so you can make fun of him?

 No.308839

can relate. advice: suffer better

 No.308851

>>308838
I am not like that. I want to understand well, i think he might be exaggerating

 No.308853

>>308851
Well havent checked into this site in a while but let me give you some examples
>i messed up some cookies at the local cafeteria i work at by cutting some of them too small,an then repeated that some mistake
>i didnt know how a coffee machine worked since i never drink coffee
>my room and my daily routines are incredibly disorganized

 No.308854

>>308853
just as I expected, you're exaggerating. those are things that you will learn to do well over time. Obviously, you don't know how to do something without previous experience. If people expect to you know things that you don't know, it isn't your problem


 No.308772[Reply]

I’m starting to question who I really am; I feel like I’m losing my mind as memories of my painful past come flooding back. I don’t know who to talk to—who I can actually trust. It feels like no one understands what I’m going through. They tell me I’ll be fine, but I don’t feel fine at all. Every day, every moment—it feels like an endless, vicious cycle. I’m exhausted by all of this, yet I try to appear strong so no one sees me as weak. I know it’s frustrating; I hate everything—the past, the future, everything. It’s all the same; nothing ever changes.

 No.308773

>>308772
sorry you're in the depths right now and it's hard (or impossible) to see a light at the end of the tunnel where you have relief.

Do you have fluctuations in this feeling are there days that somehow you feel back to normal, even if it's fleeting?

Do you want more questions, advice, or something in particular? I can say i relate to the vague yet pervasive existential dread you're experiencing, but i also know being in the thick of it is hard to listen to advice or anything.

Like the fact that there's a grain of truth in what people have said: "you'll be fine" - cus in a sense you got through yesterday's battle - you were technically fine. So what's really going on?

 No.308782

no one will help you
you can trust no one
normies are semi-retarded
the body is a parasyte feeding off the real you
isolation, distrust, paranoia and suicide are good things

 No.308786

It's as if you're crawling in your skin, yes? And the wounds… They will not heal, yes? Maybe go outside. Find something to hate that actually needs to be hated instead of hating yourself.

 No.308791

it'll go away in a few years. the torment never stays the same. something else will give you pain instead

 No.308852

>>308772
I wonder if your food, while tasty, lacks *wellness* which may do some shenanigans to your body, bullshitting you into stress response over some weird deficiency of some bullshit vitamin or microelement.


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 No.308814[Reply]

How do you deal with extreme public humiliation and a destroyed reputation? Shits suicide fuel
10 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308844

>>308843
I don't really deny any of this. And genes do play a significant role, including in the development of temperament and reactions to traumatic social experiences, as in the OP. But how accurately can you predict something like this? Even if you're neurotic, you can certainly learn to cope with this. And you're unlikely to predict the success of the learning until you try.
Genetic testing can reveal a lot, but we still can't predict someone's fate 100%. Moreover, genes reveal more about predispositions.

 No.308846

Has anything really bad happened to any of you? Can you tell?
Because it happened to me. Probably the worst one possible.

 No.308847

>>308846
You first.

 No.308848

>>308846
>Probably the worst one possible.
i doubt it, but tell me

 No.308849

>>308844
>we still can't predict someone's fate 100
you don't need 100%, 98% is enough. the other 2% account for some physics shenanigans that aren't predictable mathematically, such as a car starting to skid and hitting you to death (the good outcome).


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 No.308788[Reply]

If you're feeling depressed, come listen Music to Sidney Gish "Impostor Syndrome" (best part only).
Link:
https://youtu.be/skJDWv0bGtM?si=5FDhGyhNcn6vNDkx

lyrics:
Just watch me, moving far away
Nobody even knows my name and
No one suspects that I'm not fine, and
Nobody outs behavioral Frankenstein'
Just look at Victor in L.A
And Syd with the "y" at U of A
And all the majors at the labels
Rebooting soon as I am able
Every other day I'm wondering
What's a human being gotta be like?
What's a way to just be competent?
These sweet instincts ruin my life
Every other day I'm wondering
Was it a mistake to try and define
What I'm certain's mad incompetence?
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
7 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308811

>>308800
I once realized I hate using celly for the Internet surfing for a reason. Once I realised I just want toboth blast my radio and watch some educational/"EduTaiment" video at the same time, my life has shifted for the best.

I probably should get a shover radio also.

I reckon that's exactly why people buy "bone conductivity headphones" - you basically can use they along with your earbuds

 No.308812

For the 1% people reading this, i hope you become successful in your life.

 No.308816

lowkey the best part of imposter syndrome is the whole song ??

 No.308817

"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see." — Mark Twain

 No.308819

kindness is just a lets-team-up signal. if either side doesn't really mean to team up then it's wasted. there's also no guarantee either side won't lose interest in future which means kindness only lasts as long as both parties are in need of teammates.


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 No.305598[Reply]

Nostalgic tiktok zoomer here, I hate being one but i don't want to lie you.(sorry bad English)
I hate who smartphones and ai, it is changing society for worse, literally i can't see a 2000s anime without feeling trash, i hate have and smartphone in front my eyes 24/7.
Technology is amazing, the problem is the fucking steve jobs with his fucking iphone changing 2000s animation/gaming culture for fucking apps!!!!
I hate being addicted to my smartphone(I can manage it but I'm not 100% free) I hate who normalized is for society being addicted to smartphones.
I don't want this ai future where everything is DEGENERATED PORN with lazy people using ai for being more stupid.
I hate want to use tiktok or ai, I hate fight with my phone. I really hate this fucking world.
30 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.305904

>>305893
I think you may have far-sighted eyes. Which means you need reading glasses.

Regards, a near-sighted person who needs regular glasses.

 No.308749

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I have finally realized something. The Internet now is overwhelming in terms of making a myriad of small decisions every time you want to do something poorly decined. Say, every time you just want to watch a *tube video to pass some time or scout for *something* that's interesting, you have thousands of videos to choose from and they're all "interesting".

The digital rabbit hole is real.

Next time you go to a computer, you make a short idea of what are you going to watch.

"Just spending 20 minutes watching 1 old short comedy movie from 1970s" or
"I need to look up how to sync up my old pc and new laptop"

If you want to try a new recipe, you may try to go to a nice bench near your local shop, and look up some recipes when you're near a store, not in the comfort of your home. (That's my guess, though, not a serious tested idea of living)

 No.308759

>>308749
>to do something poorly decined
>decined

Both "poorly defined" and "poorly decided" $(confused_smile_here)

 No.308776

>>305598
I recommend you to do what I do - watch old movies, play old games, read old books. Forget that the world around you is in the 2020s.

Watch youtube videos about the 20th century western world or Japan. Read old VNs. As long as you aren't a wagie, living in the past is possible.

 No.308787

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>>305598
Same as most others here I suggest you just try and emulate the lifestyle of that era for yourself. Use modern tech only as much as you have to. I have a smartphone but it pretty much sits unused in a drawer, I only still own it because I'm forced to have a 2FA app for my bank. My computer screen is almost two decades old, small compared by modern standards and not even 1080p resolution. The last AAA game I played was Battlefield 4 and my PC probably wouldn't even run any of the modern Unreal Engine type shit even if I wanted to. The books and novels I buy these days are mostly pre 2010s, many even pre 2000. I really enjoy reading stories set in those times, before the internet was mainstream, when people still used flip phones or phone booths. Where the cops can't just look up someones location history or track them through CTV, where people can just disappear by buying a plane ticket in cash to nowhere. Also, a lot of modern writing just feels off to me a lot of the times. I think it's the internet-lingo seeping into stories and settings where it has no place and ruin the immersion.
I still use the computer more than I'd like, I watch a lot of shows idly. My goal is to spend more time learning to draw or reading or fuck, just sitting in the garden and zoning out. But I definitely understand your feelings regarding this. The modern technology age is too overstimulating, fast paced, addictive, overproduced. I'm also just sick of technology being put into everything because of the still prevailing notion that anything and everything is better by having a computer or touch screen in it. Self-check outs, order kiosks, the lack of buttons and dials in cars and so on. So in essence, only use technology you absolutely have to in order to survive, anything else you have to be extremely selective about.


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 No.305955[Reply]

Its hard being bad at everything, even the things you do for yourself
Whatever I touch usually ends up ruined
Its very hard on me because I allready expect to fail at whatever I try nowadays
Maybe bad luck is real, but whatever I lay my hands on usually ends up more damaged then fixed
Id like to say electronics are a hobby, but i have destroyed more then I repaired
I have no talents no ability to put any Idea I have in my mind into reality
It doesnt matter if I prepare, if I practice
My fingers dont do what I want them to
Something unexpected happens
I couldnt even fix a carburator on my bike
And I couldnt get the replacement to work either
There are very few times I have tried something and got positive results
I have been fired from every job i have ever gotten quickly
I have been learning japanese for 3 years now and I have seen other people become fluid but despite the time I poured in I still suck
Its very hard to explain to other people, they will say "you have to try more or try something different"
But I am trying and failing
Its not that im just seeing the negatives, when I actually succeed at something it makes me very happy but its a rare feeling for me
I try things, even follow tutorials and it never turns out well for me
I have ruined many things I love by trying to fix an issue and breaking them irrepairably
I just want a bit of sucess in what I do
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.
12 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308713

i succeeded at being a hopeless linuxoid. checkmate, evil god.

 No.308746

>>308644
I got some little rats and they just need to be pushed together.
I think I managed to get them off the plastic frame rather nicely.
Maybe try some of those?

 No.308751

>>308707
Mate, I literally keep a book of coincidence-like events in my life.

Sometimes, there are several of them in one go. Sometimes, there are little to none. And sometimes I am just too sleepy to get out of my bed to write it down…

 No.308765

>>308707
>>308751


when i was young i tried to dismiss it as random, or a coincidence, or just bad luck;

curses, thats silly or crazy! lol

Old man me, i am 100% sure i am under some kind of curse. and i talked to a stereotype gypsy lady, told me believed multiple family generational curses were all landin on and endin on me, and it was why my life was so fuckin weird. Didnt want to be involved, said it could jump on to people tryin to fuck w/ it for me.

But told me, take a bath, literal, in salt water, and helps if its Sea Salt. Could add other stuff, but salt was most effective.

i feel now, most of us are probably cursed.

100 years back, 500 years back, men w/ lives as fucked as ours we d be told, o yea so and so is cursed, talk to the town elder for solution to break it.

But, in our modern time we re told. Dude Serious, a curse, cmon its 2020s its BS.

i 1,000% believe im cursed and looked for a way to break it. Salt bath helps a lot, for me

 No.308766

>>308765
>salt

No way mate

Salt. A thing used to draw boundaries against spirits turns out to help you with your curse. Interesting.


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 No.305228[Reply]

I think age 31-32 was the point where I realized I'm too autistic and weird to ever have 'normal' things in life.

I will die either institutionalized or in some shitty rental with nothing to my name. Nothing that I dreamed about will ever become true.
30 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.308524

>>308522
I meant like sacrificing a safer path to chase your dreams or something. I guess not all self-improvement paths require quitting your job. I don't know what you want to achieve so I am mostly talking about myself. I wanted to learn an interesting skill like math or art and make money or something and I don't think I can manage to learn them if I have to wagecuck at the same time, not like I am disciplined enough now. If I have a tolerable job though, I think I'd find it a lot easier to give up and just coast for the rest of my life without trying anything new.

 No.308525

>>308524
>I don't think I can manage to learn them if I have to wagecuck at the same time, not like I am disciplined enough now. If I have a tolerable job though, I think I'd find it a lot easier to give up and just coast for the rest of my life without trying anything new.
Had similar thoughts. If I failed to pursue anything I care about while a NEET with nothing but time then what makes me believe I would ever make progress while a wagie?
Your second point is probably right. Of course you might be different, but to me it became a lot easier to justify letting go/giving up.

 No.308526

File: 1781632106021.png (10.83 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png) ImgOps iqdb

life is so great for me, but I am terrible at graphic design

 No.308755

>>308522
>barely manage

Honestly, /wiz/ could use a thread on lifehacks that make our wizard-tier jobs easier. We totally should make a literal cybergrimoire.

 No.308756

>>308524
I have no dreams.


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 No.307038[Reply]

Other people make my life unhappy and miserable
I just wanna be left alone
What is worse then having to fight with other people toget what you want every step of the way
8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307080

>>307068
ok so?
what can be taken away from that quote?
it's like saying
"a car without fuel is useless"
well yeah duh
so?

 No.307081

>>307080
That's a really stupid interpretation of the statement. There's no need to deduce something so clear to similes involving material utlilty.
>A man who has the knowledge but lacks the power clearly to express it is no better off than if he never had any ideas at all.
Means that doing things ends up getting those things done, while just thinking about doing those things doesn't. There's no reason to revere those who simply think. Such reverence is especially unnecessary in the context of reflection, i.e don't get an ego boner because you know how to solve a problem but are too lazy to actually fix that issue. Your contribution to resolving the issue as someone who knows but does not do is worth the same as that from someone who doesn't know and doesn't do, because they both bring about the same results. tl;dr Do it, faggot.

I can't figure out the quote's relevance to this thread, but on the whole it applies to /dep/ well
>I want to die soo sooo bad and I've learned 500 ways to kill myself from suicide handbooks but I absolutely can not and will not kill myself because uuh willpower or predetermism or my mom will turn me in to a vegetable or something. You must pity me and revere me as though I am someone who actually did take his life though because me and him are like totally the same, in fact I am suffering more than they guy who actually did die.

 No.307084

>>307038
What is worse?
People acting like they know everything about you from taking just one look at you, or from reading just one of your posts. If you take their misguided advice, you will not only fight with other people on your way, but you will be going the wrong way entirely.

 No.307086

>>307044
Extreme laziness, gooning, idling in the comfort zone for too long.

 No.308754

>>307080

More like

"A car without any of a myriad of tiny parts that make it run is useless"

Say, you can flub up with not changing oil in your car or literally flub up not having worn out timing belt/some pump/brake fluid leak diagnosed properly and timely. And diagnosing cars is easier since cars come with OBD2 ports to plug a 10 USD car-to-laptop wire instead of 20$ for a _single_ vitamin deficiency test


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 No.302003[Reply]

My rooster that I've had for ten years, who I consider my best friend and love more than anyone else, died Wednesday night. He was my only friend. He lived in the house with me and was the only thing that would make me feel better when the rest of my life would weigh down on me. I would go hold him and the rest of life would disappear and that would be all that would matter. I keep forgetting now for a few moments, that I can't go see him and hold him anymore.

I have had depression for my whole life adolescence onward, and I was afraid even 5-6 years ago of this day and thought it would be unsurvivable, and now it's here, and I do want to die. I dont want to live in a world where he isn't here with me. The initial shock has worn off and it's sinking in that my best friend is gone, and I'm not going to see him again. My mother is the only other positive presence in my life, because she knew how much I love him. She has stage 4 cancer and it's still unclear if she's going to survive it or not. She's essentially the only reason why I have not shot myself already. She was never abusive or cruel to me, so I couldn't do that to her even though I don't want to live anymore.

Did you ever have an animal that meant this much to you? People are cruel and petty and small. If an animal loves you it's genuine, they dont have ulterior motives or social performance.
57 posts and 15 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.307527

>>305604
do you have a pic of your dog?

 No.308090

File: 1780025714046.jpg (102.64 KB, 1280x718, 640:359, photo_27@25-12-2021_17-39-….jpg) ImgOps iqdb

Coming up on a year now. It feels like it happened a month ago and I don't feel any better. Nothing can fill the hole he left

 No.308118

I have a cat. I love them, they are comfy animals. But I fucking hate normgroids, they are sadistic fucks that hate animals, trees and life in general There is a pregnant street cat in my neighbourhood I stop by to pet occasionally. I gave her food today and yesterday and my rude, bossy bitch of a neigboor scolded me for petting a cat that trampled something flowers or whatever, I didn't understood what the cat's fault was but she absolutely hates that cat. I put a bowl with food and water and I believe that bitch will throw it away. I wish I could help the cat out more but I already have a uncastrated male cat with kidney failure whom I must treat everyday and my budget can't handle more, especially with kittens.I can't even leave the house to give them away because of my situation. I can only leave food hoping that cat will eat it.

 No.308133

>>308118
Normalfags only keep animals as props. They don't actually value them as friendships, see all the parrots that people get rid of when they get married/have kids and "don't have time for them"

 No.308752

>>308133
I dunno. Apparently, by your logic, cats are non-normie pets then.


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