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 No.306246[Reply]

39chan is a fucking shithole lol lmao even
Fucking vocaloid degenerates fuckin troons

 No.306100[Reply]

But I make it anyway. I'm not from USA, have a deathly addiction that kills you within 24 hours, after trying our public healthcare i've become an invalid that's basically a hospice patient with dementia. I can't feel my body, i can't feel thirst, i can't function, i don't remember what is normal because i forgot, it's been too long. I can not drink for hours, i can drink a liter and feel like i did nothing, etc.

The infections in my body are eating me alive, my teeth, my genital area, my stomach, the pain never stops,, i have destroyed everything from my teeth through my chest to my stomach to my butt, i just don't have the name for all the illnesses killing me because I can't afford treatment of anything.

I'm broke, stuck with psycho abusive insane family, with no help and no options to do anything at all, exhausted and broken mentally financially and physically, in constant agony that makes me beg some God to take me away from here, i can't even focus on anything because of the issues I have.

All that awaits me is hospitals, homelessness, prison, debts, pain, depression, exhaustion, anxiety, anger, destruction, the end. I won't live to get to 30.

I have nothing and I lost everything a long time ago. I've seen the end many times but this time I had a nightmare, of a place I have to be. And it's certainly not this world.

I have endured 123 days of failing physical health and mental health and did insane things just to survive like a cockroach, living without any hope of it ever getting better, purely on instinct like an animal does. My brain broke in two a thousand times and all my mental limits have been destroyed and made me a broken inhuman piece of meat.

It's empty, just like this post. I feel nothing, except pain. And I do nothing. There is nothing in this wasteland from hell. Living in hell is possible, just the chance you will end up in one is improbable.

 No.306102

In my opinion you absolutely need to suppress the physical pain before anything else, because I know it makes life unbearable

Second, I would suggest to find a way to disappear from your family

 No.306205

these kind of purgatories where you are neither dead or alive are the worst
no stranger to it myself but i will be killing myself for real soon

 No.306208

No peace for us

 No.306226

Remember what truly matters. If you have something left to do in this world, do it wiz. Death also awaits me soon.


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 No.303176[Reply]

Reminder to take your vitamins, especially "fish oil" one " Vitamin D3



they say Vitamin D3, because "Vitamin D" sounds like an euphemism, kekeke
41 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.305135

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>>305097
Thank you for being with me.
See, I used to hear on how the lack of vitamin D ruins the mood for the Finnish people. I understand when a Saint-Petersburg guy lacks the money to buy some cod liver, but the Finns??? Thank you for explaining the need for proper meds-like vitamins D

Regards, OP




>>305097
>The downside of this is that I cannot blame fatigue for my lack of interest in developing my skills…

ugh? uh? Your job, mate? Your title?
Coulda help you a li'l bit at that I guess

If you work at some gov't job, you will feel empty a bit from the very nature of strict gov't jobs, "by the book" and stuff… If not, please tell so I could some looking up.

>that's a psychological issue no ammount of money will solve.
Ah, sometimes you just need some *edutaiment* videos that explain your things in fun manner rather than bold manner. Coulda ask a chatty for some fun channels to larn something *adjacent* to the skills you already have

 No.305439

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>>305093
>to steel my nuts, lol?
:D

>anyway what does iron do?
hmmmmm… blood cells use Fe+ ion to contain, to "grab"/"hold" oxygen.

Less ferrum in your body means less Fe+ atoms are ready to parttake in your fresh blood generation.

Thing is, one's blood cells can only be used for mere weeks and then it gets recycled by your own body. The efficency is around 40%, if I remember it right.

Therefore, your body needs iron to make new blood as your body keeps destroying old blood cells with Fe atoms going down the drain.


>will it help me not feel like somebody's trying to crush my neck when anxiety hits? i'm fucked up enough that anxiety feels like a very physical thing

Hmmmmmm… Iron deficency and anxiety can be interlinked.

Some random words on top of that:
"inflatable neck collar", the thing's under 5$
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.305908

My family wants me to go full-on vegan for, roughly, a month. This has been happening, well, around every season.

I reckon going full vegan will turn me into a soywiz. I can't stand going vegan then going un-vegan then going vegan back and forth.

1) What do? Sneaky approach or clash with my family?

2) Can I claim such a diet - and the stress from the fact I've been *shunned into* taking it - has been ruining my mental health in case I request help and get some "how come a dude like you have problems? You're just faaaat".

 No.306201

>>305097
I'd suggest it's an issue where you are either aware of, or have been conditioned to, see said skills as useless. Perhaps not in the immediate sense in that maybe you could weld a beam or something, but having the skill of welding a beam is pointless without a suitably "nutritional" context to apply it.

This one is something i've encountered recently; I could get all the raises I wanted, get promotions and take on more work at work - it didn't actually change anything in my day to day life for the better. When I found tax efficient investment, a working context where each day was tangibly better than the last as a consequence of the work done, and so on, life got better.

Don't ignore your environmental nutrion - in the sense of what you are exposed to every day in the work place psychologically. "I put in 14 hours a day for months on end and I got not fired" is a strong signal to your body not to bother. If what you're doing doesn't actually make life better, why do anything more than the bare minimum is a perfectly rational strategy if your life is devoid of opportunity for significant change and positive feedback.

 No.306209

>>305097
I sure hope this will solve my problem of inaction as well.
I'm getting a blood test for vitamin D because I was like might as well see if it was really low before I supplement if that makes sense.
I hope I'm low on some nutrients or something so I can at least hope for salvation.
>that's a psychological issue no ammount of money will solve.
Unfortunately an outcome I also dread. Maybe I'm too old for this shit. New tricks old dogs or whatever.


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 No.304361[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

The imposition edition. How many times have you done this? Previous https://wizchan.org/dep/res/303254+50.html
312 posts and 20 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306142

>>306133
Ouch.

OK. advice B.

1. Put on "muzak" background music
2. Use funny "bone cunductivity" headphones
3. ??????
4. You now have a device that streams cute background music (not UNCE UNCE UNCE UNCE stuff, but rather, 40 Year Young and such kind of muzak)
5. You *may* experience some kind of relief
6. MAYBE your ears will mellow out. You know, I suspect your tinnitus is like that "phantom pain" phenomenon.

 No.306143

>>306139

>Everything is a lie, and saying the truth in a world full of lies is crazy. Ever noticed how the whole psychiatric and psychological sector is fundamentally based on a lie? It assumes that life is good you just have to see it that way through a healthy mind and it proclaims that you have to change yourself to see the good life, and this is the lie.

The real catch is, the very definition of "life is good" changes over time. Go and eat some L-carnitin rich stuff like eggs…

 No.306145

>>306142
I've done hundreds different tinnitus therapy songs and it doesn't work when I concentrate on something. The thing's so loud that it only add noises if I put the volume up to cover it. I've already bought the bone conductivity thing months ago.

Nowadays I just avoid doing anything that requires concentration (except for the important stuff), that's the only way to keep it low but the lack of stimuli is making me depressed.

The only silver lining is that it forced me to take care of my health in an attempt to reduce it.

 No.306147

>>306145
>I've done hundreds different tinnitus therapy songs
NOPE! You blast "muzak" as your background work music.
>Nowadays I just avoid doing anything that requires concentration (except for the important stuff), that's the only way to keep it low but the lack of stimuli is making me depressed.

Plan C.
Magnesium L-threonate did some good things for me recently.

Plan D. Vitamin D, aqua form + some multivitamin complex. Also, fish in general.
Thing is, I had some *mild* tinnitus for months, and eating good food kinda made it go away.

 No.306187

>>304361
It's lonely being a superior being.


[Last 50 Posts]

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 No.305927[Reply]

>be me
>bored
>decide to go for a walk
>the group that used to harass me in high school sees me
>they start shouting embarrassing nicknames they gave me loudly, just like they did in HS
I thought I wouldn't need to deal with that anymore, but it seems like I was wrong. Has anyone here ever experienced something similar? I just want to have some peace.
28 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306098

>>305927
yes bully memories still haunts me after more than a decade.

>Being me
>got a job
>everything is ok for the first time in my entire life
>speak to coworkers
>after some months coworkers begin to act WAY too familiar. like, a lot

>begin to throw shit at each other, me included

>one of them point out a delicate situation about me not going to work past week

it hurts
he laughs
everyone laughs
i fucking wish him to shut the fuck off
got so much shit inside me so I cant figure a way of resolving this withouth violence

my instincts are telling me to throw a punch as revange for all those years being bullied in highschool
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.306126

>>306098
1. You probably should switch your current job to night shifts.
Your excuse: "traffic jams finally got me".

2. If fails, switch jobs, but only once your "night shifts" plan failed.

Your excuse: "past jobs was about night shifts. Unfortunately, the windows get too much sunlight in the morning and I just cannot sleep from all the light and heat."

 No.306141

>>305927
Not quite like this, but yeah, I get the general sentiment.
Abused kid, everyone knew about my situation, small village, was bullied as a result, like, major life changing stuff at multiple points in life.
Was a nervous wreck, never quite adapted. Never quite got a fresh start either.

I changed schools 3 times by the time I was 18 and always there was at least a few people who "followed me" as they also changed schools.
These people often weren't the bullies themselves, but soon enough they told my tale and presented me as a social offering to the new tribe if that makes any sense.
They used my past torment and my weakness as a gateway to fitting in themselves. So I never really had a chance on my own merit.

To this day I'm haunted, it happens at at work too if you are unlucky. Contrary to popular belief the "bad bully" wont be your subordinate and you the boss later like my mom used to say.
A loser stays a loser because of the learned behavior patterns and developed character. The bullies are socially apt, they usually rise up.
Ironically enough I had the misfortune of meeting some when I was forced out of neetdom. You can guess how that went.

>>305940
This here is probably the worst of it.
Life is just one eternal highschool. I'm glad to have read your post. Said well and concise.
My mother is the same as me and lived through much humiliation too.
When I was younger I didn't understand why she was so nervous about how we present ourselves, but yeah later on this happened to us too and now I get it.
In an apartment complex you can get screwed in so many ways if the others sense blood in the water, weakness or whatever.
If there is a pre-existing clique and you make one mistake at work as well, you'll suffer. Same everywhere.
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.306144

>>305927
God I fucking hate people from HS

 No.306177

>>305927
Just wanting to be left alone is my primary goal in life. Too much trauma.


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 No.303254[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Post here if you don't have enough to say for a new thread, but it's too depressing for the crawl thread.
/wiz/ tier room setups edition.
296 posts and 40 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.305680

>>305672
Your $3.99 monthly account fee is due today

 No.305701

nothing but pain in my life, soon I will hang myself

 No.305987

not depression related but I'd thought ya'll might like this video.

 No.306025

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My mother is a bitch. She literally used to work as a prostitute, then she decided to "settle down" and have kids, but she ended up divorcing raising them alone, me included.
She always abused me, both physically and mentally, she really enjoys putting me down and bringing me to my nerves for her own amusement. When I was little I had genuine fear of her presence, but after observing more her behavior this grew up into just resentment and anger, I hate her and want to keep distance.
What strikes me the most is her jealously, she doesn't want me to talk with other people, and seeing me being nice to other people while I avoid any interaction with her and my family really turns her hysterical.
So her strategy is to accuse me of being either "severely autistic" or an "evil person", and of course humiliating me for being a disappointment to her and not being her expected "ideal of a man", which in her case is accepting I was born just to be her dog, obey her and take care of her during her elderly years.
My only hope for now is either for me to get a job and disappear from their sight completely, or for her to fucking die soon while I take this opportunity to leave, considering the serious declining state of her health due to her morbid obesity and addictions this is somewhat probable.
I just want to be left alone.

 No.306163

>>306025
it is bizarre how much people have kids just to torment them


[Last 50 Posts]

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 No.296810[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Does any of you get irritated with family gatherings or when guests come to visit you in your family's house?
I am 24 years old, little to not school education, no job, whenever I am with some relatives or in some family gathering I can sense how much they look down at me for being a massive loser, even if they almost never express it directly at all, since I was a child I would always be asked by them questions like "how are you doing in school?" or "are you getting any good grades" Of course they no longer ask me such question, But I still feel a lot of shame when I am around them, I try to avoid sitting with them like the plague
96 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.305745

>>305744
I know exactly how you feel and I know what the cause is for me: inflammation. My whole body remained in an inflamed state from eating plant matter and carbs for years in the past, preventing me from growing, being healthy, being happy. I lost 7-8 years of my adolesence doing things I could've stopped. I could've eaten better. I could've said no. I was 166cm aswell for several years but I'm 169cm now after making some improvements, but I feel that it's all too late. I'm 23 years old.

The past was an act of robbery against me, I know everything that I lost, all my dreams, my time, the happiness, the opportunities, they are all gone permanently. There is nothing that can be done to compensate for them, nothing that can be done to replace them. I suffered emotional distress and pain from abusers, on top of poor habits built from the kind of environment I was forced to exist in, just to lose the most crucial opportunities forever. I'm angry, I'm angry at my family for giving me garbage to eat and abusing my metabolism, I'm angry at myself for being so weak, I'm angry for being poor. I'm angry.

 No.305746

chillax dudes yer never gonna compete with the 181cm chad no matter how hard you try if you're not 182cm which i for one sure as hell am not. it doesn't destroy your *whole* life, only a part of it. you still can earn money enough for spell ingredients

 No.306011

>>298779
Uh yes? Autism means you are pathologically socially retarded and that destines you to be a loser unless some insane level luck happens to you.

 No.306124

>>305744
I hated NEET life so much, to the point I somewhat prefer being a full time wagie. After 18 my parents would nag me nonstop, wake me up in the middle of the night to remind me to look for jobs in the morning. I was already going too. Then they'd walk away muttering how useless I am. I was ready to end it all. I've estranged myself from my entire family now aside from my parents as I live with them, and we've come to terms now. Hopefully there are no future hiccups, but I'm sure there will be.

 No.306151

>>306124
>Then they'd walk away muttering how useless I am
Was in a similar situation. The twist was that this made me snap at them. Tried to get a long-term job but was rejected. Only manage to get a few temp jobs. Parents got irritated by this and blame me for not trying hard enough.
Eventually had enough of this and screamed at them. told them if they wanted me to have a job so badly then they should do more to help get one! they got angry and responded that they didn't owe it to help me.
Told them they then can shut the fuck up, if they didn't want to help me, that I wasn't interested in hearing what they had to say then . Openly told them to shove it up their asses so I didn't need to hear their retarded nagging.
Their only comeback was that I wouldn't get very far with an attitude like this. that this would only ensure that in the future when people see me do bad, no one will bother to nag/lecture me to do better. If this is how I respond when people complained about me. Told them I could figure thing out for myself and didn't need their dumb nagging and lecture. My dad just said fine see what good that will do you.
While I'm still unemployed, my parents have stopped nagging all together, which did a ton of good for me mentally.


[Last 50 Posts]

 No.306088[Reply]

I'm Failed Low Tier Normie (3.5 PSL Rating), utterly autistic, haven't had friends for a decade by now (I'm just 20), can't function in any way (work-related, socially or even just within my family; I'm even too scared to talk to my biological dad or e.g my grandmother when she comes here) and every day I feel more and more angry that I have to bear this existence every second I'm alive. I can't even simply laugh at things, I'm just a manchild chud who can't be entertained and who doesn't have motivation to do anything. It's like I've been already dead for a long time now but I'm still haunted by my consciousness. I just don't have the courage to end it. I feel like a lot of you experience the same, why haven't you specifically done it?
9 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306112

what the fjck is that

 No.306113

>>306108
Not fitting into society brings a lot of practical problems with it which can be intolerable. If you can NEET it up and somewhat insolate yourself from other people, you can be fine, but you will be reminded every time you go outside that you have a target on your back and you will be surprised to see that literal strangers will go out of their way to bully you for no reason. Getting a job or moving up is impossible because your apparent Otherness is so obvious to other people that they will either consciously or subconsciously aim to put you down in your place and not allow you to exist in peace.

Make no mistake, alienation can be quite intolerable. It's not an abstraction, it's very much real. The hivemind can detect you and you will have problems having any kind of life at all.

 No.306120

Dead internet theory.

 No.306123

>>306120
Have you noticed how many new nonsensical threads are being made, then readily abandoned by the OP? It's a simple, yet insidious tactic, they've been using it on 4chan for decades. It worked amazingly well as you can tell.

 No.306125

I'm only going to end myself when shit gets real bad. I intend to waste all my money first, might just NEET it up until I can't live anymore. I did spend some time homeless, and it wasn't fun like I thought it was (I was autisticly dressed in armour and a sword wandering the streets and woodlands)


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 No.305203[Reply]

I am physically disabled with many symptoms, I can't work or anything, nor do I have money for any hobbies, I can't even cope with suicidality since I am afraid of dying and the after-life (call me superstitious) and honestly it's not that bad either for me in most of the days in regards to my health as my family still supports me and pays for my medication, it's mostly that life feels utterly-empty for me.
34 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.305429

>>305385
Judean PSY-op!

 No.305534

Get an online job that you can do from home.

 No.305540

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>>305534
good idea

Be like Reimu the fantastic mikReimu the fantastic miko either works at her place of living or proceeds to rain projectiles at everyone in her path as a part of her job…

 No.305560

>>305534
No point if he is an autistic wizard.

 No.306024

Same as you but I am trying to get on NEETbux


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 No.305955[Reply]

Its hard being bad at everything, even the things you do for yourself
Whatever I touch usually ends up ruined
Its very hard on me because I allready expect to fail at whatever I try nowadays
Maybe bad luck is real, but whatever I lay my hands on usually ends up more damaged then fixed
Id like to say electronics are a hobby, but i have destroyed more then I repaired
I have no talents no ability to put any Idea I have in my mind into reality
It doesnt matter if I prepare, if I practice
My fingers dont do what I want them to
Something unexpected happens
I couldnt even fix a carburator on my bike
And I couldnt get the replacement to work either
There are very few times I have tried something and got positive results
I have been fired from every job i have ever gotten quickly
I have been learning japanese for 3 years now and I have seen other people become fluid but despite the time I poured in I still suck
Its very hard to explain to other people, they will say "you have to try more or try something different"
But I am trying and failing
Its not that im just seeing the negatives, when I actually succeed at something it makes me very happy but its a rare feeling for me
I try things, even follow tutorials and it never turns out well for me
I have ruined many things I love by trying to fix an issue and breaking them irrepairably
I just want a bit of sucess in what I do
Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.305957

>>305955

>Do you know how frustrating it feels when you have been trying something for a long time, someone else starts and they eclipse you in short order?
It feels terrible

I know exactly how you feel and I want to tell you, I was in the same spot but I learned quickly. I realized, very early on, that I can only succeed if I fix things on my own terms. Something in my mind just refuses to cooperate if I adhere to a 'correct standard' set by others, I must have total control over the medium I'm working with and I must be the one to set the architectural rules. Because when you're that independent and you play by other people's game, you'll always lose for being outside of it.

 No.305985

I'm someone who learns very slowly as well. They say comparison is the thief of joy, but that's just ignoring the fact some people just take 100x longer to learn stuff and those of us like that are kind of concerned by it. I don't mind hard work, I can put in the hours, but I want some type of tangible results for it..

Let's say there's 3 different types learning a language, the goal is only broken conversational:

Type1: learns it in 6 months
Type2: learns it in 5 years
Type3: learns it in 50 years

I'm talking about a real effort too, not too sure how it goes learning languages but lets say 10 hours a week formal learning, and another 10 hours casual learning with tv shows and games etcc. How could you possible convince me to learn the language unless it was absolutely necessary for me if I know I'm a type3 person?

 No.306001

>>305955
Sounds like you may have "butter fingers" issue. You could practice some finger exercises to give your hands some neural boost.

On a side note. Today I learned some modern study say heavy exercises not only give you gains, but also make brains and nerves grow and make more connections.

 No.306013

I feel like I am cursed or something with how much misfortune I had in my life. Now slowly dying. I have also read about other people who mysteriously contract one misfortune after the other. maybe you are one of us

 No.306021

>>306013
what are you dying from?


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