/dep/ - Depression

>>306076
Just found out hydrogen sulfide can be manufactured through drain cleaners and garden sulpher powder.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Music/comments/1f4hbxf/slashs_tragic_stepdaughters_cause_of_death_at_25/

Seems to be a reliable and common suicide method.

I just need a reliable delivery mechanism now. A way to hit myself with a 1000 ppm dose for instant unconsciousness and death, in a way that doesn't get anyone else killed from the poisonous gas accidentally.

>>306072
Just drink a whole bottle of vodka in one go.
I know a guy that did that at a party as a challenge, then he went to bed and never woke up.

Please guys don't kill yourselves. You are capable of more than you imagine. Please at least give Jesus a chance in your lives.

>>306082
we don't serve false gods

Amerilards are so fucking lucky, imagine being able to just dome yourself whenever you feel like with a glock you got for free with your happy meal and chicken nuggies from McD's.

reverse it once and for all! NO HALF MEASURES AGGHGHRHRHRHRH

>>306039
R U sure it's not lithium?
(While lithium is toxic, they use lithium to treat anxiety… I think.)

>>306039
i like :3

Eat lead

Moved to >>>/b/1033227.

>>305758
>wizard doesnt know these are also carb heavy

Not really. You can make pasta using pork rinds, bake them gently and cut them up.

>>305763
the point is that these options are not prepared pasta types continent of wheat or arsenic-laden rice. carbohydrate-dense repasts set together from non-wheaten non-rice sources are fine but not always easy to identify or make…and in any case the eating of pig or the skin of a pig is never healthy.

binge drinking recently broke me out of a pretty bad depressive episode.

>>305763
AFAIK, "carb heavy" foods differ in terms of digestion speed though.

>>305795
don't over-do.

>>305894
otoh think about how bad op feels. here he brought something he thought was enlightening thoughts and now he has to face my cynical responses.

ironically such responses were what killed me inside so i guess i'm just returning to the world what i received from it or whatever.

now i kinda feel like a bad person, guess i'll go ruminate or something

>>305874
You're essentially describing a gnostic position – that we are by origin gods wrongly bound into material shells by some lesser deceiving demiurgic deity. "ει θεος: you are a god" is one of the original pythagorean dicta cluing the young learner into the knowledge that he is a mortal god entrapped inside an aesthetic counter of true reality, or what we in modern language call a "simulation".

>So perhaps I would deliberately choose limitation and pain, not out of cruelty toward myself but out of a search for novelty and significance

You're attempting to form reason for the suffering of our human lives. I applaud that, as it is not easy nor in any way logically intuitive. For my own part I have no strong answer. Even the traditional four-way theological parting of – good god (theism), idle god (deism), no god (atheism), evil god (gnosticism) – seems explanatorily incomplete to me.

>would be to abandon omniscience, to step inside a fragile and limited perspective.

This is thematically similar to plato's dialogue "Meno" where knowledge is said to be latent (that is, "hiding") in our transmigrating souls but still susceptible of being teased out to its original fullness by a competent teacher. The pythagorean concept of metempsychosis also qualifies this notion of our lives being broken up intervals between which we are bound to make connective sense.

>In that state, eternity would blur into stillness. Without risk, loss, or change, pleasure would lose its meaning and collapse into a constant background noise. You would exist, but never move forward, never discover, never grow.

This reminds me of some character's answer in morrowind (a computer game about gnosticism fitted to a narrative stage of knights and medieval times) touching on the question of why Lorkhan (the elder scrolls' version of the demiurge) created material reality (tamriel) and his answer was something like “because he found the peacefulness of the aedric realm to be unexciting and dull”. This then graduates into the familiar problem of whether the demiurge himself is evil or not…and I think in original platonism the demiurge was never assigned a clear moral color of good or evil (which accounts for why plotinus attacked Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>305874
>If I were living inside a virtual simulation as a kind of player inhabiting this world, I would start wondering whether the point of the simulation might actually be to experience suffering


The Great Filter Theory: there is something that kills life on every other planet save for ours, but not the universe.
We're *put* here into this uncozy simulation to see if The Great Filter lies somewhere in our lifetime.

So far, Stanislav Petrov is the only just-a-human hero credited as the literal saviour of the world

there are a couple of "ideas" like aliens, new age, simulation and so on which is just fake religion in disguise. I believe Seraphim Rose wrote a book about this

If this world is a simulation, it's not because you're the player here.

See, a super-advanced civilazition that have made it would inevitably start running simulations of more primitive civilizations to see "something" out of curiosity. So maybe we're digital toys of some space era people?

See, there are some good reasons to try and run tests on virtual civilizations:

* The Great Filter (to see if we would whack each other back into Stone Age, really)
* The Matrix (don't ask WHY though. Maybe they're having fun harvesting our something)
** Loosh/"gavvakh" something something
*** Maybe loosh would be the energy of the desire to change the world, not just suffering as in pain. In layman terms: "butthurt" resentment, not just sorrow that makes you weep.
* probably some hardcore bootcamp to teach people feelings. Why? To make people grateful for living in space age and not XXI century of misunderstanding and "unfiltered Internet that saps you"
* Maybe a really long movie.

I have $4 in my bank account :(

>>305672
Your $3.99 monthly account fee is due today

nothing but pain in my life, soon I will hang myself

not depression related but I'd thought ya'll might like this video.

My mother is a bitch. She literally used to work as a prostitute, then she decided to "settle down" and have kids, but she ended up divorcing raising them alone, me included.
She always abused me, both physically and mentally, she really enjoys putting me down and bringing me to my nerves for her own amusement. When I was little I had genuine fear of her presence, but after observing more her behavior this grew up into just resentment and anger, I hate her and want to keep distance.
What strikes me the most is her jealously, she doesn't want me to talk with other people, and seeing me being nice to other people while I avoid any interaction with her and my family really turns her hysterical.
So her strategy is to accuse me of being either "severely autistic" or an "evil person", and of course humiliating me for being a disappointment to her and not being her expected "ideal of a man", which in her case is accepting I was born just to be her dog, obey her and take care of her during her elderly years.
My only hope for now is either for me to get a job and disappear from their sight completely, or for her to fucking die soon while I take this opportunity to leave, considering the serious declining state of her health due to her morbid obesity and addictions this is somewhat probable.
I just want to be left alone.

>>305385
Judean PSY-op!

Get an online job that you can do from home.

>>305534
good idea

Be like Reimu the fantastic mikReimu the fantastic miko either works at her place of living or proceeds to rain projectiles at everyone in her path as a part of her job…

>>305534
No point if he is an autistic wizard.

Same as you but I am trying to get on NEETbux

>>305955

>Do you know how frustrating it feels when you have been trying something for a long time, someone else starts and they eclipse you in short order?
It feels terrible

I know exactly how you feel and I want to tell you, I was in the same spot but I learned quickly. I realized, very early on, that I can only succeed if I fix things on my own terms. Something in my mind just refuses to cooperate if I adhere to a 'correct standard' set by others, I must have total control over the medium I'm working with and I must be the one to set the architectural rules. Because when you're that independent and you play by other people's game, you'll always lose for being outside of it.

I'm someone who learns very slowly as well. They say comparison is the thief of joy, but that's just ignoring the fact some people just take 100x longer to learn stuff and those of us like that are kind of concerned by it. I don't mind hard work, I can put in the hours, but I want some type of tangible results for it..

Let's say there's 3 different types learning a language, the goal is only broken conversational:

Type1: learns it in 6 months
Type2: learns it in 5 years
Type3: learns it in 50 years

I'm talking about a real effort too, not too sure how it goes learning languages but lets say 10 hours a week formal learning, and another 10 hours casual learning with tv shows and games etcc. How could you possible convince me to learn the language unless it was absolutely necessary for me if I know I'm a type3 person?

>>305955
Sounds like you may have "butter fingers" issue. You could practice some finger exercises to give your hands some neural boost.

On a side note. Today I learned some modern study say heavy exercises not only give you gains, but also make brains and nerves grow and make more connections.

I feel like I am cursed or something with how much misfortune I had in my life. Now slowly dying. I have also read about other people who mysteriously contract one misfortune after the other. maybe you are one of us

>>306013
what are you dying from?

>>305358
mom my problem isn't food my problem is that i'm so crippled by anxiety and hatred my stomach feels like a knot. mom i know it's hard for you to understand but once you slip out of society there isn't a way to get back in, just why the fuck would i care about what i eat? anything that i can swallow is fine i've nothing to live for and magic is spiritual not bodily

>>305358
THANK YOU!!!
because I have been *shunned into* eating vegan

I personally would like to see more talked about SSRI long term effects, how to come off them and something about just taking one dose has permanent changes, I really want to learn about that.

>>306016
You taper off slowly and it's extremely debilitating and painful. You're incapacitated for literally 2-3 months and have residual mood swings for a full year. This was me with 150mg venlafaxine after 5 years on them, and it was the same for my sister who went off it in order to have a child.

It's so painful that most people with full time jobs, a precarious financial position can't do it. It feels like you'll never be right again and you start doubting, but you do manage to make it through.

You can't ever go back on them though. Once you're off they stop working forever for some reason, at least it did for me.

>>304887





>>304890
>I have come to the realization that what I suffer from is not schizophrenia but psychotic depression and the only way to treat my symptoms is to treat the depression


I hear 80% of schizophrenics have auditory hallucinations. Wonder if you don't have some "scary dude voice shouting at you" to begin with.

Also, if you're a big dude and sleep on a sofa, then you're doing it wrong. Get a matress.

Im not sad about anything, but im MAD… MAD AS FUCK

>>305951
How come? Don't leave me hanging lol

My parents mostly, and I guess extended family and society as a whole have set me up to fail. They have at least nerfed the shit out of me with horrifying experiences and malnutrition, and no real help with any skills. Suddenly I'm 29 and they are still mad I haven't made myself successful, in reality they want to leech of my money if I was a doctor or something. I just live my life how I want as much as possible now, I will embrace myself and hope it makes people mad. The normies were right, I'LL BE MYSELF!

Chill lil wizza

Nevermind, start again
The past isn’t happening right now
You’re letting that shit linger in the present
If you got hit in the head and forgot all about the past would you be happy? Or at least okay?

>>305966
Teaching is the most soulless job out there. If it ain't agriculture gunmaking, it's worthless

>>305968
Silly wiz, it should be "agriculture, gunmaking"

>>305968
>growing guns out of the soil?
Gunpowder can be made with nitrates washed from the soil, and carbon burnt from its foliage.