I'm glad you understood what I was saying pretty much perfectly.
>Before I went to school I used to watch the news with my parents, but that habit only mode me anxious when leave home because of the crime rates of my city. When I noticed that I stopped watching. This only one pattern I could notice in me.
Yep this is exactly what I'm talking about. I used to listen to a lot of depressing music and I forced myself to try and listen to some other music too. I still listen to sad stuff, just not going overboard with it 24/7.
The internal stuff is really what helped me a lot. Like I was VERY VERY VERY paranoid about fucking EVERYTHING. I think what helped was "fuck it, I've been doing this same paranoid shit for TWENTY+ YEARS and bad shit still happens sometimes, this analyzing is pointless." Ofc analyzing stuff is fun, but just go and analyze something else. I used to really believe "Hope for the best but PREPARE FOR THE WORST". And that shit is just fucking toxic, there is no point in preparing for the worst, because the worst only happens like .001% of the time, and those kind of things are unpreparable. And even if you don't prepare it won't be that bad not even close.
I literally used to blog about how people if they get depressed should kill themselves because they are likely to get depressed again, and you prob have some genetic disposition (I got my DNA scanned so I know I have those genes).
But that's all just fucking bullshit.
You don't have to believe things that AREN'T TRUE. You just have to choose to remember the thoughts that are true and make you feel better. For example: Are you fucking starving? No you fucking aren't. Are you in danger of physical harm? No, we killed all the fucking tigers, and if you're in a 1st world country you just won't get attacked in a war. You MIGHT have an abuser in your life that might harm you, but I'm pretty sure most of you don't anymore at least.
Like I got bullied at school but the bullies are gone now. One thought that helped me is "99.9% chance I will never get into a fist fight ever." That shit is just completely illegal in the adult world, and you are probably a shut-in anyway. Post too long. Click here to view the full text.