Practice fasting. Eating just honey with warm water for a week or 5 days, the wait a month and do it again.
Your brain is occupied with subtle crap, substances that do not let the hormones act normally…
after doing that 4 or 5 times in a year you should start to feel some changes.
It seems to work to me, yet I sometimes take longer time to repeat than I should…
I have only felt motivation to do anything when something makes me extremely upset/angry. When I saw the ending of MLP I got so angry at the writers that I made my own version of the ending. Despite me never wanting to write or even having motivation to write I churned out 30k words in the span of 2 days. It just doesn't happen very often but experiencing the world or feeling really attached to something is where motivation comes from.
This is one of the few things I suffer with that I don't blame myself for in any way. The world in recent years has been so geared towards instant gratification that it was bound to have problems for many thousands of people and it does. Even normies suffer from this shit to a lesser extent.
I'm also stupidly easily influenced though, in that essentislly whatever a character that I like in a movie/tv series/whatever media is doing I want to do it too. Never to the extent that I actually pursue it though, just enough to research it online for hours on end and do nothing about. Of course after that I feel like I have wasted so much time on nothing after cramming my head with useless shit I will never use and will forget when a character in the next thing I consume does something different.
I just wish I had one thing to aim towards. I remember my dad having one "heart to heart" conversation with me in my life and it was about needing a dream to strive towards. I ignored it at the time because I was already planning on killing myself by now but now that I am still here I wish I found something, anything, to cling to.
Do you want to improve your situation, or are you content as you are? You don't seem content, so maybe it's time to change. I know you may feel isolated and helpless because of your lacking of knowledge, but I think you may be able to turn it around. Firstly though, I want to say that you're not stupid or worthless because of your grades in high school or because you had to repeat high school or because your knowledge of the outside world is lacking. I feel that way too about college, and even though I made it through high school, It's been the same way for me in college. I've been in college for 6 years with no degree at all. No associates, even. I've repeated classes that I should have been able to complete because of laziness because I too have an apathetic view of learning too.
If you think you may have a learning disability, you may need to get actual professional help with that, but if you're just very apathetic, you can just start by doing a little research every day on the things that irk you. I know it's annoying because I don't like working, but playing video games, but you're going to hurt unless you do the things that cause you to hurt in the first place. A small amount of effort each day will be nothing compared to the pain of what you're going through now, and I know that personally. I've not fully healed, but I feel like I'm at least evolving a bit each year, slowly, just by doing a few things per year.
If you're on okay terms with your parents, even if they've forgotten your birthday, I'm sure they know of your impending fate if you continue this path, so maybe talk with them for help.
With all that said, happy birthday. And don't forget that despite everything, you'll always be a human, no less, no matter.
Congrats anon, acknowledging one's ignorance is the first step to wisdom. Aquiring a hobby that you are passionate about can't hurt either.>>211224
Stay away from the internet and social media for awhile.