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/dep/ - Depression

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I’ve always been bad at everything. I always worked the slowest and still managed to make it shitty. When I’m given the simplest assignment conceivable I draw a blank and have to ask for help. I’m astonishingly error prone. I make an obvious mistake and then immediately understand what I did wrong, but that never prevents the next one.

Anything “artistic” I’ve tried like drawing or blacksmithing literally looks like a child did it. My coach in high school tried to devise a plan with the team captains because I was “the least talented” and had to be compensated for. I’ve lost handball games to fourth graders. I cut my fingers off with a table saw (they were re attached).

I can’t enjoy anything because every time I try I just add another failure to my oeuvre. I used to think I just didn’t try hard enough because I was scared of failure, but now I’ve tried and failed again and again I realize trying is just a waste.

Maybe the worst part is that sometimes people don’t realize how incompetent I am until they see me in action. I can watch their faces change as they realize how stupid I am. They’re all nice about it, but they start treating me like a five year old.

I just wondered if any wizzies shared my experience.
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I’ve always wondered if normie’s disgust towards us is adaptive in some way. Like hunter gatherers couldn’t waste food on men who weren’t going to contribute, so they were actively hazed until they shaped up or just died.

I think it would explain the vitriol.


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I legit can’t tell if this is ironic or not


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i sympathize, i blame our present time period we live in more than anything.

So, 100 to 150 years ago had any of us been our present age we d be expected/demanded to do some horrendous job all day, probably 7 days a week, in return we d receive a home and some very basic comforts.

today, its all about what kind of special princess are you.

oh he makes Art! she wants to be a doctor! he wants to study Law! everyone is so unique and special and woe to anyone who didnt get special perks from le DNA grab bag.

well, just one prob Norms. this age too is now ending.

in comes the Ai TSUNAMI to crush one industry and another. best seen recently with Ai makin Art. But Artists Scream, I Make Art, its my life its who i am, what will i do now!?

ut o, LOL.

true i may be bad at everything. But soon Ai will do _______ better than anyone in the world at it. and, by about 2035 that will be just about everything. roughly about 10 years.

enjoy the tsumani my brothers


I was fantasizing about what I would dream about saying in such a situation.


I hadn’t thought of that, but we do probably have much more “experience” with being irrelevant than normies. If the normalizes can cope well enough they may never feel it.

I don’t think it really helps us in any way though. Maybe our experiences are just symptoms of our condition instead of adaptive responses to it.

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How do you deal with weight loss?

A lot of my self esteem really just stems from overeating from stress or just laziness. Has anyone overcame that, has it helped your general wellbeing?
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OMAD and low-carb diet. Exercise, if you can.


it is really hard for me to keep my weight, I see all the people who I used to go to highschool with and they are fat and balding, I just think of these people whenever I feel like overeating


I have the opposite problem. I can't put on weight no matter how hard i try. It's so easy to just not eat, making food that i want to eat takes so much effort and energy. Very hard for me to understand the opposite position


Eat healthier, eat less, exercise more. There is no secret that will make it effortless, you just have to exercise some self control over an extended period of time. Eating healthier is key though. If you just stick to eating a normal processed diet but try to eat less you will have worse hunger cravings than if you ate healthily because processed foods usually have high glycemic index and are highly palatable and addictive. You can still lose weight this way but it will be harder to avoid giving in to your cravings.


Vaping nicotine helped me slightly more than any “healthy methods” of dealing with stress eating

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What are some good self-harm forums? Especially ones focused on cutting? I love you guys but I want to chat with folks who have my self-destructive habits.

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I like you!


You should cut the people who made you this way


Down the road not across the street, pussy


I think this thread is more fitting for /dep/



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Why not become a drug addict?
We have nothing to lose.

>OP must be at least 75 chars.
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if you get side effects from a certain strain you can try out different ones for better results, I've tried lots of different ones and settled on jongkong


Ill see what i can find at the local smoke shops. Should i buy capsules like i did the first time or should i buy powder? What strain(s) do you recommend for general anxiety and/or adhd-like symptoms?


>Ill see what i can find at the local smoke shops
the stuff from smoke shops is all low quality and often expired and inert, I'd suggest buying online, kona kratom is a good seller and I've never gotten any bunk powder from them
>Should i buy capsules like i did the first time or should i buy powder?
capsules are easier to take and if you have the extra money I'd definitely recommend capsules since straight kratom powder tastes awful
>What strain(s) do you recommend for general anxiety and/or adhd-like symptoms?
white jongkong is my favorite and it helps me a lot with energy while also reducing my anxiety, white hulu is also ok but I don't think it's quite as good, I avoid maeng da because it gives me a lot of side effects but it the most neutral and middle of the road strain if you don't know what you're doing, if you want something really stimulating similar to adderall then red or green dragon is the most stimulating strain I've tried


>kona kratom
Nicee ill keep it in my bookmarks. Last time i bought from krabot (?) i think and it was probably maeng da capsules. I just remember sitting at my desk and i started slouching and feeling 'relaxed' but in a placebo kinda way (since i was anxiously waiting for the effects..) and my nose was itching like a motherfucker. Spent hours scratching it inside and out.

Also i asked about powder because ive heard that capsules are not as effective and idk how true that is

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I made this thread before and I'm making it again.
I can't take this anymore, bros.
If one day I kill myself it's simply because I was bored. I find life boring. Extremely boring. I suffer from boredom. No matter what I do, I always end up bored out of my mind.
When I was a child/teenager, I was never bored. Watching anime or browsing imageboards were enough for me, but I don't enjoy these things anymore as an adult. Nowadays I don't even know what I do from morning to night. I sometimes read books or watch films but I barely enjoy them. The last book I truly enjoyed was On The Heights Of Despair by Cioran because it was so relatable. I'm even having trouble getting hard when I masturbate because I'm not even horny and I'm doing it simply out of boredom.

Drugs are the only thing that could help me, but I know once I build up tolerance to them, I'd feel bored again.

I'm 25. How can I put up with this shit for 70+ more years if I don't enjoy anything?
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damn, you really showed those weebs you interacted with on discord who's boss huh? what a tough guy you are


A weeb crying to me that all taste is equal is the damnedest fucking thing


Ive found that over the past few years that just forcing myself to do things, without having any kind of expectation is the only way to get rid of the feeling of anhedonia/lack of interest. It takes a while to actually start enjoying the activty again though.


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A day comes when there's nothing left to say, think, feel or do. The cycle becomes apparent, unbearable. Everything appears to you exactly as it is; completely empty. Then it's time to sit and just that. It's time to gaze at a wall and just that.


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I've been reading The Book Of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa lately and he talks a lot about tedium in his book. It's very releable.

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 No.265448[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

A good portion of us are drug addicts and alcoholics. But no one talks about that. We know our habit is a big portion of our life, but we never talk about that here.

Let's talk about it here.

This has become my main substance of use. I started collecting the vials some months ago. I've probably trashed like 50 vials (over a few months) before I started collecting them.

I got something in my system as much time as I can every single day, I just do it in a sustainable and non-lethal way now. My immediate health has actually considerably improved. I'd prefer I wasn't using, but I love using so much and life just sucks, I can't bear being sober.
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Sinclair method


Try kratom if u want to quit drinking. It made me stop being an alcoholic. I am addicted to kratom now but I think its probably less harmful although no one can say for sure yet.


I need drinks to get all rosy. Doing it right now. It's a sort of careless spoofed happiness. I feel free from dread. I have a few beers in the evening to let the stress roll off, it's part of my coping routine of the week. Nothing wrong with it. Sex is not involved, binge eating and spirits are. I feel the pleasant aura of carelessness on the night of alcohol, it gives way to lucid wakefulness and easy cognitive impairment and embarrassment in times of indulgence . Too much and you are needlessly impaired and devoid of thought, a gregariously pleased idiot. Better less, less is more. I need you to chug an 8% tall boy and just live a little, for the breach of barriers.


Who tames the lion now?
Who smoothes Jove’s wrinkles now?
Who is the reckless wight
That in the horrid middle
Of the deserted night
Doth play upon man’s brain,
As on a wanton fiddle,
The mad and magic strain,
The reeling, tripping sound,
To which the world goes round?
Sing heigh! ho! diddle!
And then say—
Love, quotha, Love? nay, nay!
It is a spirit fine
Of ale or ancient wine,
Lord Alcohol, the drunken fay,
Lord Alcohol alway!

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It seems my main and only contact disappeared, and I can't find how to communicate with this person. I'm extremely angry.

For the last months I've only been abusing cannabis edibles, they have immensely helped me not return to opioids and benzos. If this contact is gone, I might have to go back to opioids and benzos because I need a long-lasting high every day, and edibles were perfect for that. I extremely hate society. The only thing I enjoy is being high and alone, by myself. I can't even have that because weed is illegal here. Can't even use the darknet because I live in Central America, shipping shit and passing it through customs is complicated.

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Nietzsche said: "Better to know nothing than to know half a lot!". this is my case, I wish I was a brainlet than knowings things that doesn't help me in everyday life at all. I wish I was a brainlet. it makes me depressed
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It's OP again. Can someone becme my fri3nd


Having enough introspection and IQ to ponder these things is a mental illness, not an advantage.
Most people who have any good philosophical takes on the world are crabs or never get to procreate because they are so awkward or physically repulsive. Hence, they hold unfavorable genes.

Humans are animals that kill over territory and resources, shit, fuck, eat and sleep. Just like all other animals.

There is no deeper meaning to any of it. Biological, self-replicating machines that try to go on as long as possible (before the sun of this solar system dies out) with no other reason than replication itself, and experiencing dopamine (from food, copulation, entertainment).


You also sound full of shit, why is 'truth' setting anyone free? What is this 'freedom' you speak of? Is there any freedom or truth to even be had?


Nice hook Marty


It's just a cope, fucking all of it. Religion, consuming, "finding the truth". It's all bullshit and I hate learning the truth. Why can't the truth be positive for once?

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Yes, another suicide thread.
You think that putting my head in the rail it will kill me? like beheading, is the only solution that is painless and fast and reliable. When i am thinking in suicide my tummy hurts, feels like vomiting but not vomiting. I live in Spain, and these are the type of trains, if the guards/police will stop me, i dont know what to do.
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>i want greatness in my life.

Me too, but how many people get there even after decades of trying?


Yeah that’s the thing. Basically I don’t see how people can keep on living. Their lives just seem so mediocre and full of unbearable suffering. They spend their lives wageslaving some shit job for shit pay, they get some mediocre roastoid to betabux and maybe she will create some spawn who will ultimately become social media addicted zoomers who hate him. If they have a daughter she will ultimately end up becoming a whore and will be getting pounded while her dad slaves away to pay for her meaningless degree. It slightly annoys me to think about this.

I’ve noticed normgroids like to differentiate themselves in devious little ways. Maybe one will have a slightly better job than most, or one will wife up a succ with slightly less mediocre tits than most. Or maybe one will go on vacation a bit more frequently. It makes them feel better within the confines of the rat race. But when you look at the totality of their lives it’s nothing and they are still miserable


They're on lots of drugs, at least in the US. Psychiatry has people on amphetamine and other numbing drugs to put up with their low position in the hierarchy. Even so, when I go into retail places, the people are so obviously depressed. They don't try to hide it any more, no fake tone of voice and smiles. Just monotone "I want to kill myself but I'll make the pizza because I'm a trapped rat". What a wonderful world!


When I was a kid I loved the harry potter books and cirque du freak series I was sure my life was going to be just as special as the characters in the those stupid books. So I waited for something to come along and make my life intersting and exciting, and I waited and waited but nothing ever changed. I thought life owed it to me but in the end I turned into some semi-hikki who lives with his parents. Real life is the epitome of torture I know now I'm not special and worst of all I'm expected to just get over it and scrub toliets or work at mcdonalds until I die. So I get you, may as well just call it quits sooner that later and save myself some pain.


let’s be honest. this all a troll thread.

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Share your various traumatic experiences that still haunts you to this very day.
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>People are apes. If you look at chimps, high status chimps always bully low status chimps to show who is on top and who is on the bottom. Humans are no better.

Couldn't have said it better. It's sad how many people don't understand this.




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when I was 12 my mom and dad took me to one of their work friends house because they were having a party, I told my parents that I didn't want to go but they brought me anyway, when we got there I had a panic attack and started crying, then my dad drove me back home without my mom, screaming at me the whole 30~ mins back, when we got home he started viciously beating me up and throwing me into furniture and stuff, I got hurt really bad so I just curled in a ball on the floor and think I broke a rib and then he called me a pussy and left me there so he could sit on the couch and watch tv


>very specific triggers for anxiety
don't have a very good vocabulary but is it similar to the symptoms of that succubus from midsommar or the father from aftersun?

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 No.267805[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

I'm too scared. Just the thought of it makes me feel fear. I'm scared of dying AND death. I'm afraid of dying painfully. And I'm also afraid of death itself. The thought of non-existence and not being able to think is incomprehensible and scary to me.

So that's what's stopping me. I don't want to feel pain, but even the rope can be extremely painful. The only quick and painless way are guns. A glock 20 to the head is quick and painless. But I can't get guns in my country. But they're only way I want to go.
And even if I had the gun, my fear of death would probably stop me from pulling the trigger.

I don't know what to do…
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So looks like dimethyl sulfoxide is available but from the looks of it can be expensive though it's not particularly poisonous it can make you sick.

The real question is WTF happened to cause the shit that happens to Ramirez and how could one get drunk on dimethyl sulfoxide or simalar and then cause the chemical reaction needed to both die and stave off doctors.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, or so the saying goes only we need them to keep their distance for the opposite reason.


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What's chlorine and amonia do to DMSO?
Did electrolysis from defibrillator have anything to do with what happened to Ramirez?


Trying to "get help" so I can hopefully mitigate the risk of surviving a half arsed or sabotaged suicide.

Got 2 candidates for a hiding place but probably going to write up some step by step plan and create a diversion probably buy some ferry and train tickets but keep receipts where they can be found to create a diversion, buying 2 sets of tickets would be too obvious maybe get the real deal with cash or something.


no meds or therapy. Nobody knows what's going on inside my mind


Realize this world is absolutely totally and completely evil because it's filled with satanically evil shitpeople. That is the only truth that will ever matter.

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