/dep/ - Depression

>>306619
Being outside is excellent for meditation. I actually like to vary my spots. What is your favorite?

WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE

WITH SOARING EYES

>>306994
under large remote trees is a spot i enjoy for meditating.

its not that bad. i only ever lurked here so im not totally sure what wiz attitudes towards substances are. why not try lsd and meditate on your experiences? read into buddhist practices and be cool.

>>304017
Are you Christian?

>>307542
What an impertinent question.

>>307543
what a rude comment

>>307439
That sounds lonely, but I feel you're not actually finding comfort in that solitude of yours. I do not know what is causing you discomfort, I feel you wanna talk to someone, connect a bit. Do you?

>>307542
Yes, I absolutely see zero reason to stay in this place.
I feel like my body is a parasite leeching off the real me trying to trick me into keeping it alive.
I think there is an afterlife, but if there's nothing this bullshit is over too, either way suicide is win-win.

>>307546
come on man, don't say foolishness.
suffering is great it gives to life a fine taste.

>>307315
Would you consider this to be a good life?

>>307462
this wouldn't work. life of infinite pleasure isn't possible by design. no amount of technology will ever release you from this demiurge's torture cellar.

>>307465
>life of infinite pleasure isn't possible
Read The Hedonistic Imperative. Suffering is a chemical reaction in your brain that evolution created.

>>307473
>Suffering is a chemical reaction in your brain that evolution created.
and demiurge designed your brain so that it's impossible to avoid suffering. if you avoid it long enough then you will simply go insane or die of heart attack when it finally comes. demiurge will just laugh his lungs out

>>307315
I don't think that is possible in the body we inhabit.
Made a similar thread asking what good parents/family would even look like too. I just don't know what I'd want. I know what is wrong and what is bad.
So less bad? No bad?
Maybe.

The biggest issue is that any real image of a good life does not include me.
If it does not include me then why even bother with a hypothetical?
All the events that happened shaped me and my genetics (and later accumulated experience) determined my reactions to them.
So given that, any "good life" would not include me.

>>307326
I've been trying to figure out a way to reach this too. It was prompted by another wizards post in some thread about us needing to embrace the "it's already over, you aren't part of the race anyways, just relax" mentality.
Again I'm paraphrasing from memory.
>endlessly competent, calm
For this all competence is sadly needed as you say. I've noted that a lot of the anxiety that has gone unnoticed by me, but not by my body is due to this.
I don't feel like I had any mastery over anything so if a problem might pop up, I knew I was unequipped to handle them.
Unfortunately a lot of things in this world can not be done solo (or I'm simply not able..), so I'm trying to focus more on the acceptance part as well.
How is it going for you?

>>307474
Ah, classic, "love" but it's actually specifically some form of "Christian love." I wonder if the parable of the Good Samaritan makes sense here about someone who is suffering and needs genuine help without of religious dogmas to turn them into a outcast… I don't know.
>Also
Sometimes i wonder if Jesus was a Outcast for his jew society, son of god (or other guy that's not the true husband of mary) sound like the jew of their time wanna treat him like a bastard.
But i know the deification and trinity and holy spirit history is a made up thing for hellenistic pagans, probably the original jew thing have nothing around holy baby holy spirit god and shit, just a human (of maybe he was a bastard and mary know… who knows)
The more i read about primitive christianism, academia around no-christian influence studies and non-trinitarian thing, the more i become aware that maybe modern christianity view is a shit totally altered from original christians of supposed jesus or jesuses or wathever.

>>307071
I agree with you, considering 90% of the people did not even know how to read or write in the past it's absurd to believe religion took an important role in their lives.

>>307071
>>307476
>>307508
Pls sorry my engrish
There's a anecdote, I studing a music teacher career at university and we have a class around cultural-social-political context around music, the teacher of this class in a lot of ways act like a Materialist she joke sometimes about religion with some classmates about more specific around any type of Christian belief (she talk sometimes about shamanism and all the thing are focuses for now around western etc) she just say joke and etc, but i never see it as like its too hostile, maybe its bacause i a damn Atheist-Agnostic but she doesn't make me upset or anything or even i see she says too bad thing that can be offensive for someone.
>Well…
Well, one of our classmates is a believer of christ of i dont know what church type etc, she's a ex police, one day bacause of her job her brother is killed, later her father died, she got traumatized and she just got refugee in the church dogma and religion etc typical history, she lost the last class and yesterday we(in reality one of our classmates) told she that that teacher still have some joke-hostility to christianity things and etc (i dont say this, another succubi of our group is adventist and actually told this to her)
She started to babble and etc the typical sermon of god and life an belief and their life and later started to cry bacause this around supposed hostility of teacher around religion turn she very sad.
To me its fucking sad that look like in these moments these thing its her entire personality, its fucked up in a lot of ways and make me anxious.
Fuck, i hate this shit she probabbly fucked up but still babbling around religion bacause is just the first one last thing to mindfuck she and give some little hope of wathever fucked up thing happened.

>>307508
Even the monks in the monastery that had the luxury of writing and reading all day were supported by lesser monks who had to toil and labour. For every monk arguing about how many angels dance on the head of a pin, there were several other monks toiling and labouring to sustain him. The privileged monks were often the excess sons of the nobility that due to primogeniture had to be dumped somewhere. Simony was also rife, with almost every Bishop being from a noble family.

Local priests also had succubi and children despite it being illegal. The Catholic Church priesthood today is more celibate than it ever has been before in history, despite all the handwringing and fretting over illegitimate relationships. People never used to give a fuck if the priest fucked a succubus, now it's treated as a huge scandal.

The nuclear family is a product of the late 19th and early 20th century too. Families were a lot looser in the past because people died all the time. You had step siblings, half siblings, step parents, etc.

There's a religious instinct but these organized religions transplant themselves over it as a form of political control and to justify centralization. But if centralization can't totally be achieved, like with what you see in rural areas, a loose syncreticism is what you find.

>>307531
I blame the Reformation and the Council of Trent.

>>304321
yes, as in "40 acres of land somewhere in Nebraska"

>>303221
>>303222
I think you should remeber my advice several years later and resort to rescuing a stray off da street next time to try and avoid the stench of grief. Or, you know, visit a shelter to get a damaged one as yer pet. This way, you will feel less grief because you're not "replacing" yer pet - you're offering care to an animal in need.


In layman terms. You'll realize "it's different this time" so you're not cheating on your sweet memories.[/s]

Sorry for your loss. My dog died a few years back and it kills me. It's difficult.

>>305604
it doesn't get easier over time either. You may find you think about it actively less over time, but the pain is just as bad and you relive it

>>305604
do you have a pic of your dog?

I was a neet then a wagie now half and half. The only good thing is money. I wanted to move to SEA after grinding but nope. Just find small joys.

>>306667
if you want ultra intense like the other wiz said, DMT. but personally i think controlled doses of LSD and working up to high doses where you can handle the intensity is what i'd recommend. I only had borderline overwhelming experiences when i got up to 4-5 hits which i think made them more profound since i worked up to that intensity, because i was able to be present and not just tripping out of my gourd

>>306762
LSD sucks, there are many other Phenethylamines that are better. LSD lasts for a long time so if you get a shitty trip it will make you want to commit for a long time. And whilst its true that nndmt is very intensive, it only lasts for like 10 mins

You're not missing anything tbh. I only get like $1k per month in neetbux and it fucking sucks.

>I miss being a proper neet so much and im jealous of people who can be
Same, strictly speaking I am a neet, but health issues make my life unbearable. Only the rope can release me from this crap

>>306219
>Stopped working out and eating healthy, I am slowly rotting and have no more will because my situation doesn't seem like it will ever get better. If it improves, that will be in many years.

It’s perfectly okay to feel this way sometimes. You don’t have to feel bad for feeling this way. However there exists no objective logical ground for you to have imposed this conclusion on yourself as a sort of certain fatalistic sentence. In my own case, I managed to (mostly, ~95%) cure my pssd within about 1.5 years of its on-set. I feel that you should be able to do the same if you remain diligent in your diet and (just as importantly) trusting in your private mind that you can be bettered and ultimately returned wholly to where you were before the ingestion of ssris.

>What do you think of TRT, reinstatement… or something else? I have been told to do keto diet. I really feel like the best thing would be to microdose shrooms, lsd

I don’t think your problems are related to circulating levels of sex hormones, especially not at your age. I know after having taken ssris and encountering genital impotence and anesthesia that my own serum levels of testosterone were essentially unchanged from the year before (suggesting that the drug had not materially altered them). I cannot speak to “microdosing shrooms” as this seems near totally impertinent to the restoration of a former normal chemical balance within your brain; if anything I would imagine introducing heavy psychogenic drugs like shrooms would only further confuse an already-confused neurochemistry.

But as to what I do think might be helpful:

1. Recall that prozac being a fluoride-based ssri will particularly lower blood levels of folate (vitamin B9). In addition to everything I already recommended above in earlier posts, I would like to advise you to make sure you are getting sufficient amounts of folate into your body everyday (preferably through a well-made and well-reviewed B-complex supplement). This will combat the likely chronic folate-lowering effects of the offending drug.

“Depressed individuals often exhibit low levels of serum and red blood cell folate.”

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>306999
good advice and nice digits

>>306219
You still here?

>>306999
>>307254
Thanks for your wise words anon. I truly appreciate you taking the time to write all this, actually I read this a few days ago but I felt so terrible at the time even writing a reply felt like too much, sorry about that. But sincerely, thanks for this.

~95% is amazing. I found myself thinking earlier than if I recovered my anhedonia, even by 10 to 20% life would be worth it. As I said before I don't really care for lust, although it is a driving force in life when weaponized.

>this seems near totally impertinent to the restoration of a former normal chemical balance within your brain
I am such an idiot, I took too much lsd because I read that it could help me, I was deluded. I am having pretty severe side effects from that. I am right now in such a bad state, I can't reply all your post. I'm not sure if I can be saved anymore.

>>307513
Keto is great. I felt light and energetic. I loved it. But beware of carbo sensitivity after a while on keto. Include carbos slowly and don't diet for a long time and it's pretty good.

>>307424
Are you sure your dopamine now isn't fried to crisp because of alcohol usage? You might still enjoy those things after your receptors reset.

>>307425
It's impossible to fry dopamine unless
>However, high-dose amphetamine can cause indirect neurotoxicity as a result of increased oxidative stress from reactive oxygen species and autoxidation of dopamine
I don't how to put it in my own words. I'm not a biologist or chemist

>>307427
What I meant is fucking with the dopamine system by gulping to much alcohol. I know what it feels like, it's like a total draught, nothing is fun, complete anhedonia for days. But it passes, timeline depends on how much and for how long you've been drinking.

>>307428
I don't think it has something to do with the dopamine system. Drug withdrawal happens with antidepressant too and any kind of withdraw can lead to death, seizures and other awful things that are probably not related to dopamine.
>nothing is fun, complete anhedonia
Quite common effects when a body is ill and needs to preserve energy for recovery.

I am drunk again, but I poured out all alcohol yesterday and swore to never drink again, I am too weak

>>302015
mind = blown

>>304656
narc

>>297753
>How do you guys fight anhedonia?
Have you tried nicotine?

I fight anhedonia with high ABV beer. But I only get drunk on Friday evening. I'm sober the rest of the time.

When I'm drunk (not wasted), I enjoy playing videogames, I enjoy music.

>>301975
>Life with anhedonai feels pointless. No pleasure, no point? Like why do anything. I just end up doing nothing

This.

>>305617
I tried it. It kinda works, but the nicotine burnout was unpleasant and accidently overdosing on velo pouches is worse than any hangover i've ever had

>Let's discuss strategies for getting rid of pessimistic thoughts.

that's the spirit! clearly stating the thing you want to happen. this helps the thing being born.

1) i believe the number one thing that helps you shake the pessimism is choice. embrace choice. choose to do everything you can to be healthy. the pessimism is a manifestation of auto pilot and choice is manual flight. you do your own flying by choosing to. you can choose to be healthy, you can choose to be an optimist, you can choose to say "this is fine" while sitting at the burning table no matter how strange and out of place it feels.

2) when sitting at a burning table, the impulse is to run. this only makes sense when there is somewhere to run though that isn't the burning table. the impulse to flee, not to be here, to be anywhere but here is a strong anchor into unconsciousness. i did this for decades with video games. i could not handle being a childslave forced to go to school where evil people who hate me violently tried to make me into cannonfodder so i played video games every second i could, trying to endure the torture. now i have endured the torture and i know nothing about this world because i've never been here. i was born in my late 30s.

3) habits are important. everything you do often enough you will start to do automatically and forget about and potentially not even notice when you are doing it. you have to choose to look at your habits and see if they are good for you. one after the other, question all your existing habits; which is way harder then it sounds because habits try to evade your scrutiny as to keep themselves alive; they develop a live on their own and develop self-preservation even. find the bad habits and reduce them gently, think of good new habits and do them often enough to experience something wonderful: you will be doing them automatically without having to spend conscious effort and willpower on them. i don't have to give my best to eat healthy, i have been doing it for so long that it is the only way i eat at this point.

i hope you can stay your course of positivity long enough for your efforts to become habit OP💪💪. i remember this wonderful feeling: when you do something that takes dedication that did not come easy to you and then one day when you are absent minded you notice that you are doing the thing without you having to force yourself whatsoever because the habit has formedPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>303386

i'm reading carl jung currently, dudeman thinks dreams are how the collective unconscious tries to communicate with you. once i started trying to write down my dreams i noticed how much i was dreaming.

>>306441
>Saw a workbook online called Cognitive Behavioural Workbook for Depression online and decided to order it. Will report in a couple of months if it helps.

i'll read the report. when i find it i post an interesting workbook i once bought on a whim and did about half of it. it was all about drawing statistics about your life on colorful paper.

>>306441
>We all hear "just lift weights bruh" but it's not the only cure for depression. It's a very effective cure, but before that you need to build up your window of tolerance. I decided to start small. I'll go out and walk my dog in park early in the morning or late in the evening when nobody's around. I also want to read more new books and go back to fingerboarding. Fingerboarding is a good hobby because

dancing or at least some form of physical expression that can slowly become a dance i believe to be a necessary part of mental health. i like to skate to music and it feels like dancing. enjoying and playing with the movement mechanics of the human body is an essential part of the puzzle i almost never hear discussed or even mentioned so let me mention it here: dancing, skating, ice skating, or maybe an artistic martial arts like capoeira are necessary. at least dance to music you love with your headphones on in your room. if this feels shameful to you, it shouldn't. dance is the antidote to this shame that society tries to install on people.

>>302319
Check my thread around self-hypnosis and mind hygiene for some tech tips if you want
Good luck and have a good life.
>>307395