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 No.302406[Reply]

Why am I not happy? I have nothing, my physical and mental health is ruined, I'm broke in debt dying from addiction, stuck in a SHITHOLE house with family that I hate. There's nothing left and I've been dead for years. Why am I not happy about ending it? I don't even do anything cause I'm too tired sleep all day can't eat cause my teeth are falling out and once xans end I will be a vegetable. Just end me.
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302425

>>302424
I admire your courage

 No.302430

>>302424
See you next week.

 No.302437

>>302430
youre not gonna see me either way cause after seizure damage i wont be able to even browse wizchan
>>302425
its not courage i kept extending it as long as i could even though all it was suffering for nothing for years. courage would be if i killed myself a couple years ago.
i am going homeless and simply telling my 'family' that i despise and don't want to see again, another plus of dying, that im moving out. i feel empty on my last night in this universe, my feelings feel like they disappeared

 No.302441

good luck anon, may you be released from your suffering soon. i hope i die soon too

 No.302546

dang.



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 No.302510[Reply]

I fucking loathe being autistic, I fucking hate how I can have articulate thoughts in my head yet can only muster and spew out the same few fucking phrases irl because I’m caught off guard and don’t know what to say

I hate how pathetic I am, I’m so fucking clumsy, my hand coordination is awful. Im always dropping shit which only makes me look like more of a retard

Most of all I hate the way other people look at me, there two “looks” I get from people. The first is the pitiful one. They see how pathetic I am, how socially inept, awkward and harmless I am and take pity on me like they would with a dementia patient. The other “look” is the hateful/judgmental one. They assume due to my awkwardness, my uncanny demeanour, ugly face and lack of height that I’m some kind of freak/someone to be suspicious of. They look at me like I’m some kind of sex pest/serial killer when all I’m doing is just existing

I put in the effort, I workout every day, I eat well, I keep good hygiene, I try, lord knows I fucking try, but I have to ask what’s the point? It won’t change anything. I can’t cure this awful plague of the mind I was born with, I’ll never be accepted or even tolerated by normies so why make an effort? Why try in life and work hard when I don’t even get the slightest bit of respect from the people around me? Part of me wants to just stay in my room stuffing my face with junk food and playing vidya all day but if I did that I’d only be more miserable.

Any other wizards have this condition? If so how do you cope with it?

 No.302512

>Any other wizards have this condition?
Yeah, me and probably most of us.

>If so how do you cope with it?

I avoid going outside and being in any kind of social situations unless there is absolutely no other choice. This gives me some amount of peace from anxiety and depression so I can pursue my interests but I still get flashbacks of cringe memories and it makes me feel so awful and hopeless for a few seconds until I mutter "fucking kill yourself" out loud. I don't know why my brain does this or why acting out this tourette syndrome routine helps, but I've just learned to accept it.

I've stopped caring about the future or catching up with my peers long ago and I've just learned to get through life day by day and find whatever joy I can in my solitary hobbies. There is nothing you can do about it, so you might as well focus on other things. I guess the only hope for an autistic is that they become top 1% in their special interest and this allows them to have some semblance of a career and respect from others, but you have to have some genuine interest, something that genuinely tickles your autism and lets you do stuff that others find boring or tedious. Maybe you can be the next Tetris world record holder or the guy that makes youtube videos about an extremely niche subject or something like that.

 No.302513

No matter how much normal things I try to do and as normal I try to be, I'll always hear this phrase: "this guy is weird". I don't even know if I only hear it in my head or if people really say it most of the time. I do be having auditory hallucinations in the past, and it's always this: the weird guy. I can't do nothing against this. Even just refilling car wash water yesterday, I hear it from people coming along. How can I fucking be more normal than when changing fucking car wash water, like what in the hell.

 No.302514

The worst thing about being an autist for me is that no one ever respected me and never will.

 No.302543

>>302510
since im autistic i never get satisfied due to me being empty and numb from all the corruption from people. i just wish i lived in a different reality where i could start over again..



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 No.302520[Reply]

Same day Different shit I am 28M got a useless degree live in a shithole 3rd world country didn't work in my life all i do is consuming media watching twitch and movies i had a fight with my mom once and i lost my temper and beat her before so she forced me to go to mental insuition like rehab and forced to take meds i stayed like 6 monthes i sometimes i want to finish it all wondering how i have to hold so much longer than this and do i have to keep waiting till i reach 50 or 60.

 No.302521

Psychiatry is evil, it doesn't fix anything and ruins your health

 No.302532

>>302521
But this guy has already ruined his health

 No.302533

I dropped out when i realised they were going to keep me on the threadmill forever

 No.302534

>>302532
Contrary to what psychiatry thinks, anger and depression are not illnesses

 No.302535

>>302534
I said that because all he does is consume twitch and movies the entire day, it's not healthy. He should at least go out to get some fresh air



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 No.300364[Reply]

I thought I was a hobby guy who like to spend time on his hobby alone but thats not true, all I care is to talk to people, thats why I come here everyday because I want to talk to someone. I am not an autist asperger with countless of niche hobby and a high IQ, I'm just a low temperture IQ monkey who thought he could fool himself and tricks his brain to think he is a genius but Im not. I wish I was made to do something but Im just a lazy parasyte, it sucks
40 posts and 8 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302074

>>300364
>>300364
I feel like I am more retarded than I thought I am. I blamed it on being socially awkward, but I really believe I am slower than most people around me. I earn far less than most people in my neighborhood. Everytime I sought out someone to listen to me or read something I wrote, I get this gaze from them like I'm a special ed kid and they immediately want to find a reason to leave my presence. And when you are older its like people are less willing to call you out, but their subconscious body language immediately betrays their judgements.

 No.302075

>>300402
i like the end theme.

 No.302076

>>300637
Wizchan 2025
Damn this site is really getting old. Wizchan 2035 won't even be wizchan anymore.

 No.302077

>feels lonely
>starts thinking that maybe the hikkiNEET life is not for me and I'd be happier if I make friends and seek validation from others
>start imagining myself getting a job
>gets filled with so much primordial dread, feelings of loneliness and any other concerns get vaporized instantly
Sorry. Not normifying today either.

 No.302507

>>300364
try psych2go channel - they have videos on stuff like "touch starvation" and "wounded extrovert".


Because you dwell on introverts' den, but now you realize you was an extrover all along. Plz try.



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 No.301831[Reply]

Any other wizards here that have trouble with speaking "normally" or pronouncing certain letters? This kind of thing occurs naturally to normalfags and it really is just something that should come inherent to everyone. I've had times when I think I'm talking normally but people tell me to stop yelling, or other times when I think I'm talking in above average volume and people tell me I'm being silent. I also struggle to pronounce the letter "s" properly and sound like a spazz which has made me actively avoid certain words. It's just another one of those things that has made me realize how we and normalfags live in an entirely different state of existence. I remember how Chris Chan used to get bullied for his voice among other things, I'm not sure if it is an autistic trait or a consequence of my reclusive life but it has made my anxiety in public worse, and has also totally ruined my dreams of starting a music project one day
10 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.301850

I find the sound of my own voice too loud. It's conditioned me to find speaking difficult by aversive feedback.

You should go check your LDLs and UDLs:

- LDL (Loudness Discomfort Level): This measures the sound intensity at which a person starts to feel discomfort. People with hyperacusis have abnormally low LDLs.


- UDL (Uncomfortable Loudness Level): Often used interchangeably with LDL, it assesses the same threshold of sound discomfort.

 No.301855

>>301850
>I find the sound of my own voice too loud. It's conditioned me to find speaking difficult by aversive feedback.

That sounds genuinely terrible anon I'm sorry you have to go through that. But I'm not sure how measuring those values would help with my issue, since I primarily struggle with monitoring the volume of voice even though I don't seem to notice it although I wouldn't say that it makes me uncomfortable. If anything it just creates uncomfortable situations by association when I have to interact with normalfags.

 No.301886

I don't thing I have trouble pronouncing as much as I have trouble keeping my brain in sync with my speech. It's getting so bad I feel out of practice at talking or holding a coherent conversation that I don't feel like a native english speaker any more. Usually it is just best to pause and collect your thoughts, and speak slowly parsing out your words. But I am sure we are all familiar with people who don't have the patience or tolerance to listen to us like that.
>>301831
>totally ruined my dreams of starting a music project one day
I see people using AI to do this so I wouldn't give up. Try some private karaoke with yourself using songs you like. I found it much more enjoyable than the manual labor that requires my hands.

 No.302010

I talk really quietly, but what I'm saying is usually fine. A lot of the time i'll get cut off mid sentence by normies so that they can say some retarded shit.

 No.302506

>>301831
> I've had times when I think I'm talking normally but people tell me to stop yelling, or other times when I think I'm talking in above average volume and people tell me I'm being silent

>yelling

<I undertand, hyperacousia can be hard to endure

>silent

<please take care of your ear hygiene



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 No.301321[Reply]

How's everyone's sleep schedule? Any tips or tricks for getting a consistent sleep pattern and/or sleep schedule
11 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302386

Typically i sleep from 7pm to 1am
Nice drinking coffee in the quiet (live in the city)
I am a NEET i then go about my morning routine, play pubg mobile and then go for a walk in the park around 6-7 am. Sleeping at night would be better but i have not been able to change this rhytm for a while

 No.302404

A lot more people have good sleep schedules ITT than I expected. I just woke up at 2 pm after a 10 hours sleep.

 No.302487

>>301321
Oh! OH!!! This week, I realized what was ruining my sleep.
You see, I was dumb enough to unironically use thick synthetic blanket in the summer.

Last night, I switched to an old thin blanked made out of real wool. SLEEP QUALITY = GOOD. Finally!

 No.302488

I used to stay up all nights and sleep during the day but meds fixed it gradually for me. I still liked it better then because nobody disturbed me. That's why now I want to switch to going to sleep at 9pm and waking up at 4am to at least have some more comfy solitude

 No.302505

>>302488
LOL, I currently enjoy a job with "solitude" perk



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 No.302324[Reply]

i have got 9 months until i am free from this world, so while im still here i was wondering what would be the best way to spend my time, just playing vidya? i have no friends both irl and online, watching shows/animes that i see happy people / people with relationships and stuff makes me have anxiety and i really despise people,i just want to spend my time cozy, hyper obsessed with something that doesnt have any connection whatsoever with the real world, i was thinking about getting into an extreme grindy (no p2w) mmorpg if there is one, any recommendations are appreciated thanks fellow wizs
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302331

>>302330
i live in a big overcrowded city in a 3rd world country with a very high criminality rate(brazil) that there is also a bunch of noisy/loud subhumans outside, going outside for me is a nono because of that.
is there any book you would recommend?

 No.302337


 No.302349

>>302324
play dofus retro a grindy mmorpg

 No.302373

>>302331
Seneca - Letters from a stoic
Plato - The last days of Socrates
Boethius - Consolation of philosophy
If you're dying might want to pick up a suicide manual.

 No.302498

>>302331
Read John's Gospel, maybe Matthew's too if you have the time to spare.
Also, read Ecclesiastes.
>>302373
>Plato - The Last Days of Socrates
You can skip the filler and just read Phaedo. maybe twice.



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 No.301325[Reply]

>Join discord server
>Too nervous to talk to anyone and make friends
>Become a lurker and feel sad when I see others make connections and friends
>end up leaving the server

Any tips to help stop this dilemma?
23 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302451

>>302412
Aaaaand that's why 4chong is successful.

Everyone bullies everyone approach kinda makes the pain of being cyberbullied a game.

 No.302453

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Dunno its sorta same. I sometimes go on /soc/ to see if there are people sorta like me but in the end i always ask myself, what am i actually going to do with this person, and do i really need them in my life.
Its always "No", so because i only talk to two people on there i can reach with other methods im deleting this thing.
There is no honor in having online 'friends' i guess. I literately don't see the reason.
So OP, stop caring i guess.

 No.302454

>>302451
>Everyone bullies everyone approach kinda makes the pain of being cyberbullied a game.
With the new online verification laws like the KOSA and the OSA, we expect you to have to come out and self-identify enthusiastically. Everything you post online will be associated with you legal entity and credit score.

The new laws will be implemented as quickly and effectively as possible to enable users to benefit from its protections.

Everything will be applied proportionally with our trusted employees reading through your comments so there will be no cyberbullying.

We keep you safe.

 No.302455

>>302454
>Everything you post online will be associated with you legal entity and credit score.
Smart people will just proxy to some shithole and use IRC again.
I love this future actually.

 No.302459

If it's getting to you, get help. Therapists can help unpack things and give an alternative perspective.



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 No.302003[Reply]

My rooster that I've had for ten years, who I consider my best friend and love more than anyone else, died Wednesday night. He was my only friend. He lived in the house with me and was the only thing that would make me feel better when the rest of my life would weigh down on me. I would go hold him and the rest of life would disappear and that would be all that would matter. I keep forgetting now for a few moments, that I can't go see him and hold him anymore.

I have had depression for my whole life adolescence onward, and I was afraid even 5-6 years ago of this day and thought it would be unsurvivable, and now it's here, and I do want to die. I dont want to live in a world where he isn't here with me. The initial shock has worn off and it's sinking in that my best friend is gone, and I'm not going to see him again. My mother is the only other positive presence in my life, because she knew how much I love him. She has stage 4 cancer and it's still unclear if she's going to survive it or not. She's essentially the only reason why I have not shot myself already. She was never abusive or cruel to me, so I couldn't do that to her even though I don't want to live anymore.

Did you ever have an animal that meant this much to you? People are cruel and petty and small. If an animal loves you it's genuine, they dont have ulterior motives or social performance.
27 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.302320

>>302193
thanks

 No.302340

>>302327
>>302327
kekw

 No.302342

ass

 No.302438

File: 1756070556629.jpeg (53.55 KB, 411x608, 411:608, 0e81c607b69c69733bc95b1eb….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

I WISH (like, making a literal Wish Ritual here) I had a tibetan mastiff as legally designated therapeutical\companion animal

 No.302439

>>302438
That would be a nightmare for anyone but you, unless you live in buttfuck nowhere.



 No.301895[Reply]

Starting a new anti-suicide general as the original has been bump-locked.

Helping wizards to understand that persuasive feelings of suicide can be bested.

Further the discursive spirit of this thread will remain the same as the first: to counter the general luring tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads through sharing positive practical advice purposed to reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.

(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care (many have already done this, to no worthwhile avail)
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain. Delimiting ingestion of both is wise.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open whichever windows punctuate your room and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.

I've done my part. Anyone else?
4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.301952

Good thread.

 No.302107

I think diet is probably the most important one. I feel worse in the moment of eating bad food yet somehow usually don't even grasp the negative summed effects so much ingested packaged garbage has had on my body and mind until days after having switched back to a healthier eating style.

 No.302123

>>301895
appreciate the thread, would be greatly improved with some resources/links to go along with it. Maybe helpful book recommendations. I read Atomic Habits and it helped a bit.

 No.302415

Why was it bump locked??

 No.302423

>>302415
Thread reached bump limit.
Lurk moar please.



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