[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]

/dep/ - Depression

Depression
[]
Email
Subject
Comment
File
Embed
Password (For file deletion.)
  [Go to bottom]  [Catalog]  [Reload]  [Archive]

File: 1608972602461.jpg (162.54 KB, 2121x1414, 3:2, d.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.234057[Reply]

I've been a polydrug addict for 4 years, the amount of physical/mental/financial damage they've caused me has been immense. How do I quit? I've spent nearly every waking moment for the last 4 years high. I'd say, more then half of these highs weren't pleasurable, yet I still reach for any drug nearby. I'm reading into cognitive behavioral therapy, I never was one for therapy but I like the idea that I can read and apply the concepts by myself. Any advice would be appreciated, the other day while high and feeling miserable, I bought 10 grams of a barbiturate. If I keep abusing drugs, I think I'll have another mood swing and kill myself in an impulsive moment. I want to try maximizing the neurotransmitters I have to feel fine without drugs.
19 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.234766

>>234073
I like self-help and discipline but that graph makes me so fucking mad

>>234083
Only real normalfag thing on there is the talk/wagecucking everything else is good for the self

 No.234904

File: 1610962916798.jpg (231.68 KB, 2048x1390, 1024:695, 1610924833220.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

Hey wiz! I'm a drug addict too, I used to use meth. It's tricky overcoming drug addiction but what finally worked for me (after trying again and again with therapists and self will) I finally was able to get sober by regularly going to AA meetings. They're very helpful. Maybe give it a try? I've seen the twelve steps help plenty of people in their worst, including me.

And depending on your drug of choice you might want to go to a detox center. Don't take Suboxone, it only makes the withdrawals last longer.

Good lucky, addiction is tricky.

 No.234932

>>234057
what did drugs do to you physically? my childhood friend is a complete degenerate but he is completely healthy after years of serious drug abuse. it makes me angry because i have real problems and i am almost straight edge.

 No.235038

>>234904
Why AA and not NA? Also do you feel like it gets a bit religious? Not in the higher power sense, in the procedure sense. I started to go to NA meetings but repeating the same mantras for the first 15 minutes every single meeting is kind of killing my vibe. And the last minutes are spent talking about finances. I don't want it to be like church with all the mantras. To be clear- I feel like it helped for a time, but now that I'm sober I feel like I can stop. And I have to listen to all these boomers who haven't used drugs in 40 years talking about their personal problems about filing and shit. Honestly it did help to vent about my problems at an NA meeting, but now after 6 meetings and I'm sober with an apparent low risk of relapse, I might just not go back. Maybe a once a month thing as opposed to a once a week thing.

 No.235039

I got clean without going to any of that AA NA cult shit. Just pick up hobbies to do and replace drugs with moderate alcohol use


File: 1598446603722.gif (3.02 MB, 360x202, 180:101, 0E622504-F530-436D-8FB8-03….gif) ImgOps iqdb

 No.227273[Reply]

How did it go? Or maybe you were a bully yourself, though I doubt it.

Getting bullied destroyed my life. I’d definitely rather be a wizard with a spine than some sexhaving bullying victim.
63 posts and 5 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.232539

>>232538
"niggers good, rapist murdering doctors said so"
wow awesome case my man

 No.235022

bump

 No.235029

No, but I thought about fucking with her car, like putting shit in the gas tank.

Obviously I never went through with it because she lives over 150 miles away from me and I need to put in effort to find out where she lives.

 No.235030

>>227273
not sure if this counts but when I were around 15 or so the succubi in school would tease me and ask very private/sexual questions because I would blush very hard and just want to sink trough the chair and dissapear. Sometimes they'd even do physical shit. I really don't see why some people would enjoy this, it was in public and really fucking embarrasing. One time I were just sitting in the back of the class and I had been feeling more down than usual that day so when she asks another humiliating question (think about porn that time) I fucking snap and panic like a total autist and stab her with my pen as hard as I can. Didn't really mean it, didnt think it would hurt her as much as she did but she bled a whole lot and I were in a lot of trouble for a few days. They didn't even ask why I did it but the teachers knew I were autistic (never told anyone but I think students knew too) so I didn't really get any serious lasting reprocussions. The teasing continued but at a lower rate (less touching) until graduating that school so at least it did something.

 No.235035

My bully killed himself in his 1st year (2nd semester) of college. When I found out I was so happy that I was fist pumping. Now that I think about it over a decade later, I probably feel slightly bad for the dude. Doesn't mean I like him though or we could have ever been friends. But if it wasn't him it could have just as easily been someone else. I had a couple of bullies. I did hate at the time all the people at highschool feeling bad about his suicide. Now it's so far behind me and I'm such a different person than I was in highschool that it's hard to emotionally invest myself into it. One theory is that depression is anger turned inward - and maybe he couldn't find an outlet for all the anger he was feeling. Or maybe he was just failing out because of drug use. But most people that abuse drugs (including myself, over a decade of drug addiction but now sober) are doing it to escape some emotion they're feeling.

I've distanced myself from all the hate I used to feel from my bullies. They all are bullying for a psychological reason. And once you realize that they're bullying because of some shitty psychological reason, you can either feel superior or sorry for them and not have to worry about hating them anymore. Not worth the mental energy years later. Hope you all have gotten over your bullying as well if you haven't yet.


File: 1607577373831.gif (5.19 MB, 332x250, 166:125, c2149932e68731c7fed31d8aa9….gif) ImgOps iqdb

 No.233430[Reply]

Do you guys ever think that maybe you are Chris-chan?

So I have this problem with being able to see an objective version of myself, as in like how I come off. I know how I come off in my head, but there is a disconnect between what you and others think.

I know a lot of people here like to exaggerate their situation, but we're not really at Chris-chan levels of autism, right? Do you honestly think you are THAT bad? I mean, you're obviously fucked up, but you're not that fucked up.

But, is it possible that's actually what you are? You are actually so far gone that you don't even realize how far gone you are. That is what autistic people do, isn't it? Part of autism is being unaware of how you come off to others. So if you have autism, how do you really know how others truly see you?

Like you have an idea in your head about how much autism you actually have, but how come that can't be part of the autism delusion? Is it possible you are actually just an unaware walking Chris-chan? I mean that would explain more why people react to you the way they do.
33 posts and 4 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.234871

>>233430
Bruh

I feel the fucking same

 No.234885

Mentally, I think I'm about as all there as I can be with autism. It's the functioning part that exposes me, my motor skills are terrible. Can't tie my shoes. I can talk to anyone really, been whittled down by so many horrible social experiences in school that I don't care about embarrassment. Once they ask me to perform a task, it's a wrap.

 No.234886

I don't know. I just think it's freeing to let go of all self expectations and ideals of how you and your life should be and what you want to achieve and accomplish. As >>234762 said it is healthy to see yourself as a loser and low human being. You only care about not being even lower than you already are.

 No.234970

>>233430
boy, i sure hope i'm not. like jeezus.

 No.234999

>>233478
>>233481
Anyone who complains about gatekeeping should be banned on sight. We all know, inevitably, how this is going end.


File: 1578919164370.png (43.68 KB, 711x1042, 711:1042, 2020.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.213134[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

Reading the end of the wizards thread I wondered:

What's it like to be a wizard without any hobbies or interests? (Or at least interests and hobbies that USED to be associated with wizards?)

I've been slowly shedding my old hobbies and interests as they became mainstream (even degenerate otaku porn fetishes have this slowly increasing normalcy) and now I'm down to a couple things I still enjoy a little.

Any wizards who actually live without any real hobbies? I know I'm asking for a lot but I'd like responses from actual wizards or people close to wizardhood like the latter half of your 20s.
229 posts and 25 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.234464

File: 1609962386343.png (461.97 KB, 1820x772, 455:193, The internet is prepackage….png) ImgOps iqdb

>>234459
Man I remember when I was little and I heard the internet was going to bring the world closer but it really went the other way around.
It seems the only viable option is to hoard all media you are interested in while you are able to.

 No.234846

>>234464
>It seems the only viable option is to hoard all media you are interested in while you are able to.
>It seems the only viable option is to hoard all media you are interested in while you are able to.
Not sure I follow. I'd only hoard it if was the only copy in existence and destroy so the normies couldn't get their hands on it.

 No.234851

>>213134
>What's it like to be a wizard without any hobbies or interests? (Or at least interests and hobbies that USED to be associated with wizards?)
>
>I've been slowly shedding my old hobbies and interests as they became mainstream (even degenerate otaku porn fetishes have this slowly increasing normalcy) and now I'm down to a couple things I still enjoy a little.
the biggest mistake you can make in life is giving a fuck what other people think of your interests and hobbies, especially as a wizard. they dont care about us anyway who cares what they think. and you know wizards sell each other out for a nickel so who cares what they think too

 No.234858

>>234851
I think this situation is different from a "you do you" type of situation. If it was like before when people looked down upon this shit then yeah, your advice is right but now when normalfags are proudly proclaiming what was once yours is now theirs and how they've shoved their noses into every avenue, I think it's time to look somewhere else.

I hope what they've stolen consumes them. And it sorta looks like it is.

 No.234984

>>226966


[Last 50 Posts]

File: 1607564204796.png (361.61 KB, 797x568, 797:568, jeanMonster.PNG) ImgOps iqdb

 No.233423[Reply]

Can we have irreversible personality damage ?
Let me clarify, at some point in my life I decided that I should be alone and I dug it deep into my brain as some form of defense that I will end up alone and so nothing anyone can say about me or even if I get rejected it wouldn't hurt(indifference is truly powerful).
After a while life started to get better but it doesn't matter anymore the hole has been dug and the mentality is forever itched in my brain and I don't allow people to get close. Is this irreversible ? Did I do too much damage to my own brain that coming back is impossible now ? Did any wizards have similar experiences ?
35 posts and 11 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.234626

The "click" for me came about in college.
Highschool was hell but I always believed there was a light at the end of the tunnel. That's what kept me going: the belief that when I made it to college, I'd be surrounded by adults who would accept me even though I'm awkward and eccentric.
But when I got to college it was no different. After that I dropped out. Tried working a few entry level jobs and it was the same thing. 10 years later and I've just been rotting.
The way I look at it now is I still kind of have that hope. Maybe it really is as I imagined it if I had just powered through college to uni and got a smart job. But that is now off the table for me.
My biggest regret was cutting off all my friends from highschool. I'll make new and better friends in college, I thought. I should have appreciated them more but it's too late now.

 No.234633

Everything that's part of human experience is part of the universe. It's not broken in the way a psychologist would say that a personality is broken. That would imply the universe as a whole is broken. No, in fact you are just experiencing the universe in a unique way. This is important to realize. Whatever you think might be wrong with you is a necessity, it couldn't have been differently. You have to grasp this very unique approach to life and make use of it. Remember, there was a good reason why you wanted to be alone in the first place. Why wouldn't it be possible to find a good reason to change this primary motivation? You already are aware that something is wrong. Human experience is much more flexible than you might think. Personality is just a construct and you should not reduce yourself to such a narrow concept driven by psychology students that probably are way too much up their own ass to see a difference between a flawed individual and a flawed society because for them they only see flawed individuals to make more money.

 No.234764

>>233740
I remember I gave up while I was working at my first job after highschool
I kept up a persona of being happy/talkative always saying really dumb/autistic things in hopes of finding a true friend that I could be around with and not get headaches or feel awkward when I was around them. I eventually had a realization that the way how everyone else was acting now would be exactly the same for the rest of my life and there would be no hope of finding that coveted true friend so I simply stopped putting effort into my social persona and become quiet and lonesome I didn't really care what others thought of me all I wanted to do was be left alone.

 No.234924

>>233854
>Mainly I've become an extremely cautious, pessimistic, avodiant person. And if anything as a youth I was more brash, reckless, overambitious, overconfident, grandiose.
Damn, that's pretty much me.

 No.234978

>>233423
I'm not sure there was a specific "click" moment for me the way others have described it here but social rejections and being somewhat of an outcast made me consciously shift my efforts from trying to fit in to killing the desire that made me want to fit in. I started taking pride in being alone, in not competing with others and being so out of touch with their culture. Being a loner became a badge of honor. Not getting invited to their parties or being forgotten on lists and such were satisfying, since they just reinforced that I was doing exactly what I was meant to do - live by myself. And in all fairness it has helped me, shielded me from what otherwise probably would've been painful or embarrassing experiences. This indifference towards social relationships has slowly crept its way into all aspects of my life though and I've turned completely apathetic and killed what little drive or passion I had for my hobbies. Everything has become a drag, I can't remember the last time I've done more than the bare minimum needed to get by. At this point I don't even feel alive anymore, I only exist and I've forgotten who I was.


File: 1605677252804.png (543.34 KB, 735x1102, 735:1102, ae2716a012adfd649fa2223df6….png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.232154[Reply]

If the government handed out free, painless, 100% effective suicide kits, would you use it?
44 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.234834

>>232154
Yes, however normalfags want people like us to suffer for as long as possible, so it won't happen unfortunately.

 No.234960

>>234834
Easy access to ending one's life should be a core right.

 No.234968

No, since I don't know what comes after death or if life is eternal, since you cannot experience time while in non-existence. Life is infinite and death is finite, due to the inability to experience time while in non-existence.

Maybe this is the life you eternally return to.

 No.234974

>If the government handed out free, painless, 100% effective suicide kits, would you use it?

HELL YES
but that can never happen, because the ruling class needs slaves.

Hello dad. Philip. please stop stalking my internet use.

 No.234977

>>234974
>hello dad. philip. please stop stalking my internet use.

What? im confused as fuck


File: 1610581212835.jpg (61.08 KB, 840x472, 105:59, download.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.234683[Reply]

How do you guys deal with the fact that suffering, evil, and hardship is rampant within the universe?

I've come into this crippling line of thinking where the universe is a form of hell and all living beings experience great amounts of suffering and there is nothing I can do to fix it.

I used to look at people who suffered more than me as people to compare to myself and feel better about myself, but now I just see them as beings within this universe that have been created to endure years of suffering that can never be fixed.

The scariest part of this line of thinking is that suicide will not help or fix this problem and that I may be and we all may be stuck in this long progression of suffering that we cannot ever escape, even through death.

What the fuck do I do? I'm so scared right now.
12 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.234716

>>234715
I'm 23 years old and I'm not underage. I'm seeking insight because this line of thinking is making me complete insane and making me more depressed than any other point in my life.

 No.234719

>>234716
All these replies yet you choose to answer the troll. Good work, OP.

 No.234720

To be created at all is to be used as a means to an end, since no creation can be FOR the being brought into existence. Every being suffers from the act of sin of its own creation.

 No.234723

>>234683
People often think that if we do bad deeds in this world, we'll end up in hell. But we are living in hell(at least some of us) and I tend to see this life as a repentance sort of thing for some past significant mistake I did.

 No.234971

>>234715
>lol
>lol underage

lol you're a fag


File: 1611008842882.jpeg (82.65 KB, 719x793, 719:793, A5EE900E-A782-4F0D-BC4D-5….jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

 No.234926[Reply]

>applies for jobs left and right
>nobody hires him because he's a sperg with no social skills, college degree or work experience, and disabled enough that he can't do anything physical like slave away inside a warehouse
>lives on autismbux but unsure if he will keep getting it due to the fact that the government tries to kick mentally ill people off it all the time
>everything he does to improve his own precarious situation fails because he's so retarded that he can't do anything right even if his life literally depended on it
>lives in constant fear of homelessness and death from either starvation or exposure to the elements
>is looked down upon and treated like trash for being introverted and autistic
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.234930

>>234926
a few ideas
> save enough money to start investing. believe it or not crazy times like this are good times to invest. this is how the robber barons of old made of their riches. during economic turmoil. this is the most risky option you probably have but has the most return if you get it right. forget bitcoin except as a side investment. your main investing should be in key industries that are likely to succeed in the post-covid economy because this shit is going nowhere
>save enough money to buy small piece of property and animals that you can sell and eat yourself
>save enough money to "retire" somewhere in the third world

if you really research these ideas they really arent too far out of reach if willing to make sacrifices and you have some income.

 No.234943

>>234926
LDAR

 No.234947

>>234926
Start studying crypto

 No.234951

>>234947
Also start lying on your resume

 No.234969

>>234929
You know this isn't 4chan, right?


 No.234725[Reply]

I am a guy from a country with a stupid education system. I am currently doing an undergrad degree in a major I hate(don't ask why, the system here is fscked) and have tons of academic failures. I am somehow trying to pass slowly and clear my stuff. However my mental health problems and the fact that society treats us here worse than criminals makes it worse. Not to mention my seriously bad luck which has given me great pain in past and present. It's not that I hate studying. I love some stuff but not what I am being forced too. And especially with my mental issues, it is a torture. I almost feel like a sub human on most days.

Sorry for the rant guys, but an anonymous forum is one of the few places left for failures like me.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.234822

I went to a really shitty college that is only one level above forging your degree. I don't listen in class and my assignments is just copy pasted from google's first results yet they still give me decent grades. If you aren't driven you'll just end up in some office or blue collar jobs where you won't use what you've studied so why bother? I've actually been in a competitive uni before this and I dropped out because of stress. Best decision I've made. Fuck that place.

 No.234961

>>234728
A 'counseling center', yes. It was of limited help though but still it is a step in the right direction.

 No.234962

>>234729
South Asia. How is it in East Europe?

 No.234963

>>234790
I am doing engineering in a branch which I hate. Reason, while choosing our branches we have to choose our majors without having any idea what they entail. For eg. Right after school, people choose Electrical engineering with specialization in Power simply because that is the system here.

Everyone wants to do computer science but since seats are limited, people 'compromise' and choose bad branches in good colleges in hopes of pivoting later and securing a job. Nearly TEN THOUSAND STUDENTS commit suicide here per year.

 No.234964

>>234822
Irony is my college is one of the best here. Which means that passing in subjects require extra work and copy pasting doesn't work. I know jack shit about my degree and it is worthless to me but i still have to complete it. Looking back, I find it uniquely funny that once I dreamed being in this place (college) and now it's a hell I can't get out of.


File: 1610841817091.png (902.66 KB, 1364x768, 341:192, goodthings.png) ImgOps iqdb

 No.234835[Reply]

today I turned 30 and became officially a wizard.
I'm proud of this achievement.
10 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.234860

File: 1610917068747.webm (3.75 MB, 430x240, 43:24, 1610915402368.webm) ImgOps iqdb

>>234835

 No.234864

Only a few months for me. It's funny how spending time here makes you value becoming a true wizzie with no real reason for it. I'm looking forward to it. Good job wizzy.

 No.234884

Congrats, you've made it.

 No.234949

>>234835
Hooray for you pal. I’m 4 months away just about

 No.235050

>>234860
What is the purpose of that webm? Is it to inspire me to bash in the succubus' head? Or to genocide cicadas? Maybe both.


  [Go to top]   [Catalog]
Delete Post [ ]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[ Home ] [ wiz / dep / hob / lounge / jp / meta / games / music ] [ all ] [  Rules ] [  FAQ ] [  Search /  History ] [  Textboard ] [  Wiki ]