/dep/ - Depression

This is probably not big news, but you have much worse chances of getting anything done in life if you are not social. From jobs, to housing, to money. If you are trying to do everything alone, you will not be as successful. Except you have a godlike family and upbringing. But I suppose nobody here had this.

What's the easiest way to get Nembutal nowadays? I'm suffering greatly and I would appreciate any help.

The purpose of this thread is to counter the general tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads. This thread will therefore feature practical advice about reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.

(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care.
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open the windows to your wiz-cave and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.

I've done my part. Anyone else?

I don't think this has ever been done before. I also don't know what fellow wiz will think of this idea (but that doesn't really concern me). I just thought to make a general prayer thread for all true wiz so that every worthy reader of these sentences might feel just a little less alone in having understood that he has been prayed for. Be it known that I've prayed for you guys sincerely. I also wrote a brief latin poem to that end.

nos non recte sapientes senes qui intellexerint
dehinc pedibus invenire debeant velocibus exitum.
Unicus unicis detur animis locus serveturque
quoi vixdum aditum morio titubans unquam
seipsum supponat adeptum esse verum;
etiamsi erro per errorem in fallacem veniens
occultum gloriabitur intellectum rarorum campum.
parumper verestur huc dum plane nesciens,
magis modo initiatis veridicus ceditur thesaurus.

Serious question for any wizcels:

Do you ever wonder how you got here…as in, how or why you "woke up" when you did, where you did, to the people (parents) that you did? It's impossible to make sense of. Just on one fucking terrible day, we took up consciousness, literally out of nowhere we are in bodies and tasked with learning the mechanics of entire material world. What caused us to be born when we were, to whom we were? I don't accept that it was random, or mere bare biology..I feel within myself that this life is a targeted punishment and that were I smarter I would have avoided being born entirely. What piece of shit god thinks he/it has the right to do this to us? We are born, thereafter we spend a few years simply making basic sense of things, go off to school, probably suffer a lot, continue to grow up, endure more sadness, and now through all of it we just continue to get older and weaker and sadder. This life is a crime against our souls and whatever caused us to come here HAS TO PAY. Really the only thing I fear is being forced to come back to this shitheap of a world to suffer again…and I do worry about this precisely because I don't know how I got here in the first place. I feel deeply sorry for all the new souls born to this world…there is just so much to learn, but even more there is just so much to suffer through…and I cannot understand what kind of god would force this sort of existence on tender helpless beings? The demiurge must be overcome.

getting angry, getting frustrated edition

previous >>285492

I don't even know how to elaborate the sheer brutalness of life, I am so tired of being poor and be dependent upon my parents like a cuck. The state has no concept of neetbuxx. I have completed my degree, and I am sick of getting rejected from interviews, dancing all day long on LinkedIn out of the all fucking websites in the world, begging recruiter here and there. Changing my CV again and again, I do this all day, only to get an offer of a job that pays nothing, that wouldn't even qualify as stipend for internships.

Meanwhile, succubi in my college, particularly good looking succubi have no problem in life, they get paid so much, and get hired at an instant cause they look cool. They are truly untouchable. The new caste system is based upon looks and gender. With gender being the varna, and looks being your jaati. I don't usually get upset at things in life, as I have decided to not kill myself (maybe because of cowardice or simply it's rather unnatural), so the only logical conclusion is to improve the quality of my life that I am gonna live.

But today is one of those days, where you truly feel defeated and raped. It's quite remarkable how different my life is from an average bitch, who starts having sex at 15, travels the world, sleeps with whoever she wants, looks pretty, gets a job just for existing, good at socialising, sports, academics, etc. due to being in an extreme positive feedback loop. And most importantly despite of the cope that goes around in the online spaces, they are happier than the most.

Meanwhile, I have nothing, I don't care for relationships anymore cause damage is already done, but I can't even live a decent life alone and can't get a fucking job. A cunt who studied with me, got a job today for 11LPA INR (13K USD/YR) which is extremely good for India. Meanwhile, I can only get job a few job offers for (2K USD/YR), I mean what the fuck is this? Am I supposed to work 12 hours a day and six days a week for this, all while she goes around pilpuling her bosses and working for just 6 hours a day, 4 days a week?

This can't go on man, I can't live my like this, I don't know but this can't go on, this is wrong. I have legitimately not felt angry for like 3 years but today I really fucking am pissed of, my head hurts, I am just so fucking upset that I can't even cry, like what the fuck did I ever do to anyone to deserve this retarded fate.

I hate the fact that I have to put so much effort into tPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

geniune question, why I can't enjoy video games anymore? do you have a theory or an answer on why one stop enjoying video games?
(I don't know if it's the good board to talk about it)
I believe it must be linked to my depression

I can never connect with people there is always someone more interesting that breaks up my conversation and leaves me in the dark, whenever I say to them I am having a conversation, this was after realizing situation, the person who I initially talked to would tell me not to be rude, invite them back, and they have a conversation over me like I dont exist. Every, fucking, time. It hurts. When you are only there for temporary just because of what you offer. I used this time to reflect and realized I am the issue, but I can't help not be interesting, I can't help not expand my thoughts, I can't help but mentally go on auto pilot because my brain likes to not be there all the time. I can't help not know what to say half the time. Even autistic people online are able to have conversations and know what to say, carrying it out into long term friendships. While I drift from group to group, friends to friends, and so on.

I have a strange condition and super annoying condition where i literally, literally, literally, literally, literally cannot stop being distracted by my own thoughts, inner Voice and monologues, not Even for a minute, i cannot even focus while watching anime or cartoons with very simple plots, my eyes Would be staring at the screen but my Brain is not really there, it is Always wandering else where, i often have to repeat entrie sections in anime/cartoons/films because i keep being distracted and miss on important scenes, dialogues, details, and so on, often it feels Like a Big chore to constantly have to leave my chair to replay The thing to revisite The scenes i have "missed", let alone Read Books or watching a lecture, i just cannot Turn my Brain off, not even for a second, it causes me severe insomniac issues as well, i Can spend 12 hours in bed but only actually sleep for 5 hours max, the rest of The Time is me spent being awake and thinking endlessly About random things that don't seems to end, i been told i might have ADHD/ADD but i really cannot relate to most people with ADD/ADHD, they just seem as people with low patience, for me it's not that i get bored from Doing things or do stupid things Like not turning off my notifs, but my issue and Source of Endless distraction and concentration Issues Come from my inside.