/dep/ - Depression

>>260864
i can't drive lol

>>260864
>Logging, farming, trucking

Those are all hyper normie jobs. What the fuck are you smoking?

>>260863
Only jobs I've found are security and custodians.

However, finding a nice security position is really hard. There are a lot of grunt security positions that are absolutely shitty, like working hotels, apartment complexes, gate attendant, event security, armored truck security, warehouse security, hospital security, etc.

The best security positions you can find is working 3rd shift for corporate security for a large company, at one of their small facilities or offices.

Some custodian positions (custodians are also paid decently, if you find the right position) are also wizard friendly. You specifically want to look for 3rd shift custodian work, preferably an office of some sort.

Working 3rd shift not only has the benefit of possibly getting paid more, but 3rd shift also offers you refuge from the normie world, as you will be going to work when all the normies are at home with their families.

>>260875
I disagree, Sir.
The guy asked for jobs where you're practically alone, with logging you basically spend all day sitting in a forwarder or a harvester with no one around, in fact no one is even allowed to be nearby.
In a truck you'll spend most of the time on the road by yourself.
Running a appropriately sized farm is as solitary as it gets.

>>259610
Was thinking about this exact point today. I got bullied by middle aged whores pretty badly when I started working. Back when I was still "nice guy"ing it (aka no boundaries; no clue about the unwritten reality).

>>260808
there the SHU in a normal prison. the ADX (supermax) are sound isolated.
just saying.

>>260805
Then ill write letters to the comitee if they dont confiscate my mail. If they do that ill complain to my lawyer or psychiatrist. Maybe start a hunger strike if they dont guantanamo bay me.

>>260808
Wizzie neet at 1:54 LMAO

>>260810
do you live in the USA? you're too naive…im not from usa myself,but I know about the culture of killer cops(and guards are just cops who were too usless to be cops)

maybe your lawyer can plea bargain, that you'll plead guilty in return for solitary

>>260600
Make a willfully obtuse reply and expect a willfully obtuse reply in turn. To then complain only about the second one as a "completely pointless, idiotic post" because it's an "annoying 'identarian' weeb", especially considering what the first willfully obtuse reply (>>260580) is, reveals your insincerity

Don't expect any annoying anime posting to go away or be decreased just because you complain about it

>>260659
I've seen that argument before and it doesn't make sense to me, or maybe I'm not understanding it properly. If the problem wasn't even the anime in the first place why even complain about that and then backpedal and say it's the annoying posting style which would itself remain unchanged with or without the anime attached to it?

>pattern recognition
But there's so much anime posting on ib's you can't claim most of it fits the bill. I'd expect you to already have gone away if you believed that.

>Anime is hardly 'not normal,' by the way. It's very much a mainstream thing now.
Yeah, I completely agree. I actually detest most anime that has come out in the last few years, and most anime fans, but because they're normalfags and have normalfag taste and opinions, and not because of anime itself. Anime is just a medium. I wouldn't say I hate movies just because most of them are dumb cash grabs directed at the widest audience possible. There's a lot of anime that I absolutely love, as well just find the style extremely appealing.

Anyway, I don't wanna seem uncivil. I do respect your opinions, even if sometimes expressed in an obnoxious, insincere style.

>>260661
Now say it with something of substance that actually serves as a direct refutation of what I've actually said.

>>260664
You made two points; that it's nonsense to claim that complaints about anime come from a place of normalfaggotry (which I agree), and that these complaints are merely the result of pattern recognition correlating anime posting and "shitty or stupid behavior". I responded to the latter by saying that there's so much anime posting that doesn't fit it that you can't make a strong correlation of that. To add to it, there's also so much "stupid and shitty behavior" here unrelated to anime posting that it further diminishes your case.

You also added that anime is mainstream, which supports your first point, and I strongly agreed as well.

>>260665
>You made two points;
And you don't actually understand them, because you keep using words like 'merely' and 'complaints' to further diminish their meaning without anything other than condescension. This is your last chance. Try again.

OP again..Im feeling much more braver now, but also more realistic. I feel existential dread,not as a threat now,but as a fact of life(and,a fact of death).
I should start getting my stuff in order and sorted out.

now, I want to ask:Should I FAKE symptonts to get powerful meds? I think im insane enough as it is,so there shouldnt be a need to lie.
im terrified of benzos lowering testosterone:of course I dont care if my pee-pee stops working,but I do enjoy being masculine and having a manlier body,it makes me feel proud of existing(to a degree)

oh look another chuuni brainfart

>>260638
Your concept of a reborn "you" isnt the same "you".
Your theory is nonsensical without dealing with the concept of self and individuality of consciousness. For example some sects of buddhism say we are all one interconnected self. The individual consciousness physically linked to a brain can be extinguished and there is no reason to think that particular observer has to be continuous.

Coz I've not enough guts to bear that unfathomable pain before death.

>>249435
I am afraid that there might be afterlife and have no balls to commit act even if i really want to.

>>260657
>It shouldn't be this hard.
While many roads lead to Rome, some are easier.
>>260673
I don't think he actually thought anything through, he just wanted to be pseudoreligious or pseudospiritual while taping on some scientific claims. That's saddening.

I have pets who wouldn't have anyone to feed them if I'm gone.

>>260466
no you wouldn't. you're too comfortable

>>260596
Writing, some light drawing. I am trying to accomplish a novel, or at least something that is the length of a novel. I don't think it's half bad. Seeing what kind of movies get made and things published, doesn't seem impossible to make something half decent.
>>260612
The only thing that could make me truly disappointed in leaving is the feeling that I didn't get to finish a book.
I believe in heaven so a bullet to the head is not that bad for me.

>>260464
Disinterest is the wizard's path. We figure out the small number of things we care about and throw away everything else.

>>260473
>I don't see what intelligence has to do with one's ability to tolerate harsh life.
The unintelligent wouldn't be able to really understand just how miserable they are or they are going to be. The intelligent are miserable for a lot of reasons, wiz.

>>260671
Suicide is a sin, wiz

>>259930
>watch an anime that I like while drinking a cup of tea, without anyone's interference, is enough to make me feel glad to be alive
This. I have recently come to terms that the only time I can allow myself to feel happy is in complete isolation. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, so long as there are no other human beings around to interrupt me.

>>260517
I agree with you. Many people think happiness is simply the absence of suffering and that is wrong. That isn't happiness, that is death and the void and apathy. Much like what Eastern philosophy and the stoics think happiness is.

However, happiness is a force of vitality. It's like when a dog just runs around happily or when a little child destroys another kid's sand castle for the lols. I experience it from to time and it is both scary and crazy fun.

>>260518
Through depression. Imagine our world gets nuked, nuclear holocaust and all that. You are alone in the ruins. You can either get sad and desperate, however after a while you can find such a situation to be funny and amusing too. Misery and suffering are closely linked to happiness. It is when I am at my worst emotionally that I know a good big happiness phase is approaching me. Mania and Depression are brothers.

>>260517
Good post. This is how I felt when I was age 4-8.

I have experienced true happiness before.

Once your body is indulged in true happiness, everything becomes easier and more tolerable. Your whole being radiates confidence. Almost everything you do will give you immense pleasure, even if it's a chore like cleaning the house, taking out the trash or going to work. You feel like nothing can go wrong and everything and anything is manageable.

Your future is bright, your past is the past. You feel like nothing can stop you, nothing can hurt you. You dream of all the spectacular possibilities there are. You feel lucky. You feel blessed. You feel is if God created the world just for you and that you are special and you are hopeful for all the amazing possibilities there are after death. That you will be saved.

Looking at the root, "hap-". Also appears in "happen," "haphazard." "As was his hap." Seems to refer to circumstances, but very specifically to the present, not to the past nor future. "-y" would usually indicate an unusually concentrated characteristic, "stuffy," "sleepy," "friendly" "smelly." Or a fullness, completeness, as in "ready," "healthy," "mighty". Or readiness or easiness in the case of an "-ily", "handily".

Happiness is to be completely engaged in the situation of the moment, as it exists. Neither rejecting the moment, nor shielding oneself from it, nor resisting it, nor anticipating a different one to come, nor longing for one that has passed.

>>260652
>it just destroys any semblance of confidence I tried to muster in public.
same :(

I'm broken and I need to get this off my chest, because it's something that makes me feel silly, but at the same time it's not like I have much control over it. I don't have any sort of emotional maturity, I didn't develop it properly because I started getting depressed and miserable right about the same time I was transitioning to adulthood, I'd even go as far as saying that my current self is less emotionally mature than my teenage self, I still feel like a kid. When I look at the people around me, they feel all sorts of emotions, but they seem mostly content with life, and only get really devastated when something genuinely horrible happens, like someone they love passing away, for example. I, however, seem to completely break with the slightest inconvenience. I might lose at a video game I'm playing, I might have to endure a team I support losing a match, I might mess up and become stressed when trying to park my car, I might feel guilty over a dumb family fight about nothing important, I might overthink about a social interaction that went mostly well. All people deal with small things not going how they'd like, and yet they keep going just fine for the most part, while to me all kinds of stress, no matter how small, functions as a trigger for my suicidal thoughts to hit me with full strength.

When I wake up, it's like I already get off my bed with so much emotional baggage, that I'm essentially a cup of water that's completely full, one more drop and I'll overflow completely, making a mess that's gonna make me feel guilty, especially when I try to clean it all up. A day where everything goes as I plan is not a good day, it's merely tolerable, since nothing went wrong, but if anything does go wrong, it turns my already bad day into a miserable one, and it essentially kills my day since I sort of stop functioning properly, I simply start begging inside of my head for the day to end, even though I know tomorrow won't be any different. I don't really know where I'm trying to get at here, I just want to understand what exactly is wrong with me, why it is that I can't handle any sort of disappointment or struggles in general, I wasn't always like this, but now I can't snap out of it. I also feel somewhat resistent to positive emotion, perhaps because I surround myself with negative thoughts and pessimism, but to me it was always a matter of having some sort of defence mechanism, if you're always miserable and always expecting things to go wrong, iPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

>>260656
I understand; I feel like I was born incorrectly and cannot consistently handle the stresses everyone else can.
>I simply start begging inside of my head for the day to end, even though I know tomorrow won't be any different
Very relatable. I feel like I'm telling myself this every day.

>>260668
>>260656
Same. I don't have much to add. Your posts lay it out better than I ever could.

i can't enjoy calm rainfall anymore without alcohol.
Ever since i got a job and moved into an appartment (which happened 3 months apart) 3 years ago, i haven't been able too.
it bothers me man, i used to love it as a kid/teen.
I get drunk on wine every 3 days or so, just like half a bottle of 750ml/14vol (i'm almost underweight thin so it's not nothing)

>>260218
i still dont understand how sleeping more is worse for you than sleeping less

>>260318
'Causation is not correlation' is the key thing to remember with all health studies. The conclusion that people should actively try to sleep less is not proven. The data may simply reflect that people with some sort of sickness or poorer health will tend to sleep more, so more sleep correlates with mortality.

>>260331
Isn't an example of that the fact that people with serious depression sleep more–not that people who sleep more get serious depression?

>>260349
Yes. But even peer-reviewed studies tend to make the implication the wrong way around because it gets more attention and people wish they could have a way to take action against depression

>>260219
>sleep an average of 5 or less for the past 10 years
>at the very least +1 according to chart which I assume is a 100% increase in mortality risk
well I wasnt enjoying the ride much anyway but damn

>>260051
I don't think it is a lie. Those artists managed to create interesting and unique works who had to go through dark periods. If you are happy and content through most of your life then you never question anything about life or the world.
>Also this "greatness" is subjective and the greatness standard is made by normalfags
So do you think Cardi B and DaVinci are on the same level as artists? Or you think it is up to debate which one of them created greater and nobler works of art? Because I don't think we should make things relative in cases like this.

>>259689
OP you are low IQ. High IQ creative individuals are more intelligent and realistic. They know society is rotten and depraved. The depression and suicidal thoughts are a consequence of high IQ, not the cause.

>>260084
Wrong, lots of wizzies think this fallacy.

https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/press-releases/lower-childhood-iq-associated-with-higher-risk-of-adult-mental-disorders/#:~:text=In%20a%20new%2C%20long%2Dterm,depression%20and%20generalized%20anxiety%20disorder.

>>260090
That study says nothing about high IQ people. It says low IQ people are more often mentally ill than general population. Are you so retarded you can't comprehend both unusually high and low IQ can lead to mental illness?

>>260090
That paper disproves nothing about the post you're replying to.

Here's supporting evidence for a correlation between high IQ and mental illness: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160289616303324