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 No.301262[Reply]

It's Saturday night and I started taking a new antidepressant called Mirtazapine (15mg) on Thursday night.

This is my 10th or so attempt at a psychiatric medication. I've tried lots of therapy too.

Wish me luck anonymages. I was about to quit my job but watched some motivational videos on autoplay on Youtube for hours and as cheesy as it was, they convinced me to give this a go.

I didn't even get these prescribed recently. It was way back last year and then I just didn't take them because this particular medicine has a reputation for making people really fatigued.

It does put me to sleep. But, maybe that's ok. If it means I can find some happening apart from fapping and dreaming while I sleep.

Maybe it'll even help me turnaround my fortunes at work where it looks like I'm sliding towards a firing or just being unable to come in. Barely stopped myself raging at my boss the other day and took 2 weeks sick leave from stress afterwards. I need to swallow some humble pie come Monday and hopefully these pills help. Being off work for 2 weeks showed me I'm just as miserable and actually more so depressed, anxious and stressed not working despite all the antiwork slogans I collect.
44 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306223

>>306219
You should never immediately trust someone because of their status or credentials.

They might have status or credentials but they are still human and as such you can never trust their intentions until you've proven them.

 No.306224

>>306223
I know. I even knew it was poison. But I was in a dark place, very young, and didn't have enough life experience to realize how much this stuff could destroy me. And most of all, I wanted to make my mother happy.
>They might have status or credentials but they are still human and as such you can never trust their intentions until you've proven them.
You are very correct.

 No.306225

>>306148
Didn't mean to sound so dramatic. I hate crabs and their brain dead ideas. The truth is that I could never kill a human being.

 No.306999

>>306219
>Stopped working out and eating healthy, I am slowly rotting and have no more will because my situation doesn't seem like it will ever get better. If it improves, that will be in many years.

It’s perfectly okay to feel this way sometimes. You don’t have to feel bad for feeling this way. However there exists no objective logical ground for you to have imposed this conclusion on yourself as a sort of certain fatalistic sentence. In my own case, I managed to (mostly, ~95%) cure my pssd within about 1.5 years of its on-set. I feel that you should be able to do the same if you remain diligent in your diet and (just as importantly) trusting in your private mind that you can be bettered and ultimately returned wholly to where you were before the ingestion of ssris.

>What do you think of TRT, reinstatement… or something else? I have been told to do keto diet. I really feel like the best thing would be to microdose shrooms, lsd

I don’t think your problems are related to circulating levels of sex hormones, especially not at your age. I know after having taken ssris and encountering genital impotence and anesthesia that my own serum levels of testosterone were essentially unchanged from the year before (suggesting that the drug had not materially altered them). I cannot speak to “microdosing shrooms” as this seems near totally impertinent to the restoration of a former normal chemical balance within your brain; if anything I would imagine introducing heavy psychogenic drugs like shrooms would only further confuse an already-confused neurochemistry.

But as to what I do think might be helpful:

1. Recall that prozac being a fluoride-based ssri will particularly lower blood levels of folate (vitamin B9). In addition to everything I already recommended above in earlier posts, I would like to advise you to make sure you are getting sufficient amounts of folate into your body everyday (preferably through a well-made and well-reviewed B-complex supplement). This will combat the likely chronic folate-lowering effects of the offending drug.

“Depressed individuals often exhibit low levels of serum and red blood cell folate.”

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.307049

>>306999
good advice and nice digits


 No.306959[Reply]

I have a lot of faults of my own, perhaps my current predicament is entirely my fault. I have no friends. No one to talk to. But things are worse, I was born and currently live in a really hated country on this planet but regardless it could've always been worse, I could've been a prisoner in North Korea or on the menu in Africa for a good hearty meaty meal.

The true tragedy is I am significantly over than 21, I have a very rocky relationship with my parents, who abused the hell out of me, and I literally shake and tremble in fear when my parents are angry, I can feel pain in my heart. But guess what I am over 21 years of age and they are not bound by any law to take any care of me at all but they still do, they have also helped me a lot, while I don't wish them harm, I do wish I lived away from them.

And of course I am unemployed, to a great extent, I get talked down on daily basis, while I am grateful for what my parents have done for me, I am grateful for what normies have done for me by making wonderful things like mobiles and games. I do not like the fact that my father has a carte blanche to say anything to me and do anything to me, I am grateful for society for giving me mobiles and games, as I said. But I don't like how my value is only derived from what I earn.

If I don't earn, I am a pest, a drain on resources, my parents treat me like I am disposable, with no respect, at all. And why should they cause love isn't unconditional because if they loved me unconditionally, maybe I would've abused them instead. No such thing as that.

I just want to die but I am terrified of dying without living for once. I live in an honor culture mixed with Western Style liberalism and as an unemployed person, I am the lowest common denominator in them. Money has somehow turned out to be more important than I expected it to be, I mean money is water, money is food, and money is roof. I knew that but I didn't knew how.

I have never spent a day of my life that wasn't in constant anxiety and worrying about something, not a single day in my life where I could claim that 'Yes, it was a good day.'. Perhaps I am like one of those weird females who don't want solutions to their problems but they just want to be heard, when they talk, if you know what I mean. And it surprises me that I have an iota in common with succubi.

As I said a lot of fault lies with me, I have tried for jobs, and tried for online ways to earn. But pePost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.306965

getting a job won't stop your parents from abusing you. the real reason you are the punching bag is because you are weak and they can get away with it. there are no consequences to verbally or physically abusing you. and to top it off, you also believe you rightfully deserve it, so they don't even have to fear you hating them or feel guilty.

this is not your fault. the real problem is life itself, society is built up on these chains of abusers, power structures dictated by biology, customs, even ideas. your father gets yelled at work by his own boss, the boss gets yelled at by his shareholders or clients, and so on. each of them copes with their frustrations by exercising power on those weaker than them. many wizards that live with their parents earn money, they're worth their weight and then some, but did the abuse stop? of course it didn't, the parents still see them as weak and subservient, so they exercise what little power they have and yell at them for having fun on the computer or not reaching so-and-so milestone or whatever, they can always find something.

you should try to gain power in this relationship. when your mother or father berates you for something, make sure you do the opposite. if they say be careful with so-and-so, make sure you deliberately fuck it up and have them witness that it was to spite them. eventually they will think twice before speaking up. then, make sure that you are always enjoying yourself and being happy (even when you really aren't). if they come home from work and they are demonstrating or complaining how tired they are, tell them about your day where you did absolutely nothing and make sure they understand that they are fundamentally under you. they slave while you stay at home and enjoy yourself, guilt free! initially, this might anger them, but if you stay on that anger and hold your ground, they will give up, because they are fundamentally also weak. they are fighting on another front already, they lack the energy, they will eventually say, ah, let him be, there is nothing to be done. and that, is when you win. when you morally defeat them and turn the suffering on them.

you shouldn't feel guilty about being a leech, wiz. it's your one source of power. you have no money, no friends, you don't even have peace in your own home. you should use it, make your parents suffer, make them regret the pleasure they had while fornicating, let them regret the sweet act that brought you into this worPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.306967

I used to feel like this, now I just want to hang myself, no longer trying to get better.
There is something fundamentally lame about living anyway, you spend like 95 percent of the time struggling, suffering, surviving, for what exactly? This slow rotting and dying is inevitable and your dream existence is never coming. Might as well just get it over with.

 No.306972

I didn't read any of that but the solution is to take daily action start with something small and then gradually build up. Stop thinking so much and writing blogposts.

Get a skill, you may have to go to uni, or a trade school, or military. You already want to die, probably because you are paralyzed and not doing anything and self-hating on that account. Just do something SUSTAINED.

 No.306993

I can relate.

I'm exhausted of being paralyzed, that's either due for being so slack or become instantly petrified at imminent danger.

Breaking this addictive cycle is so damn hard, plus, you have to withstand your peers actually arousing to action and surpass you in every way while life goes on. It's tiresome.

 No.307035

>>306972
I have already went to a uni, but if I were to unfairly judge your comment, even though you gave me a fairly good advice, I would say you don't live in third world. While certainly your advice has a lot of merit as people who I studied with are doing relatively better in their lives.
>>306993
Absolutely but I feel like what good was the uni that I went to or what good were the actions I took if I had to end up unemployed where every day is the same except the disrespect and disdain towards someone like me goes up.

>>306965
You're absolutely right it's mostly because I am weak to be honest with you, but I don't feel like I deserve it but more like I bought it upon myself, now here's the thing I can't really do the opposite because I am dependent upon them for food and shelter. Honestly, yes, in some ways I do believe that they do share some responsibility for me, but then again I am also an odd one out and I also want to move out, which I am trying to if I am being honest, but yes, I should work on not feeling guilty.


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 No.306923[Reply]

I feel an immense disgust with the fact that I inhabit a human body. It manifests most acutely when I must face a physical process in action. Examples being; having to urinate or defecate, or having an erection. Defecating is particularly bad. I become aware that I am a worthless ape. I feel suicidal when I must wipe shit from my anus. Maybe you laugh at reading such a sentence, but it is truly horrible. I feel particularly demoralised and depleted when I realise that normalfags get to experience reality free from this burden. They do not fixate on the weight of their body, the terror of possessing a spine. They are not reminded that they are nothing but an animated flesh puppet when they face sexual arousal. It all feels like a cruel joke.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306925

I can't relate cuz I really like pooping.

I do hate having a physical body though, but mostly because meatspace is so cumbersome. Having to move around, all the tiny complexities of real life that make things a hassle, tripping, hitting myself against objects in my house, things falling out of my hand, spilling drinks… I also hate how vulnerable my body is, one poke with a sharp object and I'm probably dead, all the gooey stuff just leaks out.

I would much prefer to be a glowing orb of light or some shit, no physical body, just pure MIND. Maybe soon, after I finally rope.

 No.306938

I am incompatible with living on a very deep and fundamental level. I am 30 and I feel like human bodies after this burst of youth and vitality in the teens and twenties are just slow rotting flesh machines which aren't worth living in. To maintain this rotting machine you must waste away at some job for most of your existence. Why should I bother if I can just hang myself ?
You receive this psychological hostility from other humans with lies, gaslighting, petty torment etc. Why shouldn't I just leave ? Finally there is everyday life, everything is dirty, noisy, unpleasant. I can't say I'm unhappy that I am hanging myself.

 No.307006

>>306938
I think much of the despair and nihilism in our culture is due to the fact we almost universally have to go through debilitating old age now. It's weird, in the olden days you could be pretty confident you'd drop dead sometime in your 40s, even the 50s was a gift.

People used to drop dead from disease within a few years of their bodies giving out.

 No.307007

>>307006
Are normies even despairing? They seem to enjoy this soulless and nihilistic behavior.

 No.307032

I always wished I could be a floating shape, like in Flatland. And to emit light at will. I could explore everywhere on earth, travel the bottom of the ocean, wander through forests, explore caves… I'd want to either be a 3d cube or 2d triangle. Eventually I'd go to space to explore and never look back


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 No.306816[Reply]

I have a job, and heaven knows I'm miserable now, I don't have studies and I have a bad arm so i can work but my arm is hurting me.
I really want the job, I don't have anything better to do with my life in this point.
My parents are so proud of me, at least I have a job, but for my arm problem I don't know how many time I will work in this place.
Average normies life sucks, they don't have a beautiful succubus, if they don't have money their life sucks and if they have money they are consumerist zombies.
I want a life with beauty, I want a beautiful succubus, I want to listen beautiful music, play beautiful videogames, read a beautifull book or manga, play the guitar and have a creative job, I really don't understand normies with consumerist or poor life, why to get up, you don't have dreams, you don't have a beautiful succubus, you don't enjoy beauty more than the last iphone and a good house.
Normies life sucks too, but normies believe they are so better than us, and that is wrong.
I really feel suicidal with this thoughts, I don't have the life I want and I don't want to life a life who I hate. I don't want to be a NEET and I don't want to be a normie with a shit work.
Sorry bad English dear wizards.
7 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306835

>>306831
if there is 1.6 billion jeets out there then doesnt this mean they fuck all the time? you need a lot of sex to produce so many jeets.
also if they do have so many wizards/crabs then how come they dont have their own jeetwizchan? why they come to the human internet?

 No.306837

>>306835
come to think of it jeets who come here tend to be in early 20s, but still i think there should be a few in their 30ish.

 No.307014

I really don't understand why people have to be racist to Indians on here, and I say this as a genuinely racist guy.

So what if Indians post here about their problems? It's a slow board, it's not taking from anything.

 No.307015

>>307014
Accomodate third world users, become a third world website.

 No.307021

>>307014
>I really don't understand why people have to be racist to Indians on here
imagine this: I visit your house and ignore all your rules inside your house and put liquid diarrhea on your carpet straight out of my anus.
the next day I return and do the same thing again.
would you be happy about that?
probably not unless you are indian yourself and live in shit and its normal for you to shit everywhere to increase your izzat score.
So this is what the indian posters do, just look at OP. comes to this male virgin website to write up in broken english, I quote: "I want a beautiful succubus", clearly against the rules.

So why should we tolerate and accept these shitskins here? they dont respect wizchan and its users, they dont respect the rules.


 No.301895[Reply]

Starting a new anti-suicide general as the original has been bump-locked.

Helping wizards to understand that persuasive feelings of suicide can be bested.

Further the discursive spirit of this thread will remain the same as the first: to counter the general luring tenor of sadness that defines all the other threads through sharing positive practical advice purposed to reducing suicidal behavior even when we feel most suicidal. Naturally, being that I started the topic, I will be the first to contribute.

(1) Know that I care about you guys deeply and sincerely. Call me a faggot, I don't care (many have already done this, to no worthwhile avail)
(2) Examine what you are eating. For example, gluten especially produces depressive/psychotic episodes in sensitive autistic individuals. Sugar also is not healthy for your brain. Delimiting ingestion of both is wise.
(3) Make sure you are getting sufficient sleep. Chronic sleeplessness or even a few days' worth of irregular sleep can seriously interfere with the clarity of our thinking.
(4) Clean up. Taking a warm shower and putting on fresh clean clothes always is refreshing and helps to break up darkened mental habits.
(5) Breathe fresh air. Open whichever windows punctuate your room and allow some wind to come in.
(6) Watch your breathing. When we are panicked, our breathing can become very disordered and we do not recognize the effect this has on our thinking. Take deep, purposeful breaths, and collect your thoughts.
(7) Respect yourself. You have done your best to survive in an awful world, and you should grant yourself forgiveness for any mistakes and the allowance to rest with a composed and balanced mind.

I've done my part. Anyone else?
83 posts and 13 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306074

>>305795
don't over-do.

 No.306247

>>304793
Do you follow this diet?

 No.306619

>>305499
Any authentically calm space will do. You don't always need to be on the floor to meditate, you know.

 No.306994

>>306619
Being outside is excellent for meditation. I actually like to vary my spots. What is your favorite?

 No.306997

File: 1775934527191.jpeg (42.99 KB, 470x653, 470:653, images (1).jpeg) ImgOps iqdb

WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE WAVING GOODBYE

WITH SOARING EYES


 No.305879[Reply]

I wake up every day in disgust, fear and anguish of my existence. I have left no pride nor confidence in my confused brain. Every day I wake up and I loathe the person that I am and my world instantly.
I wish to go back to sleep. Sleep. I just wanna sleep and not take place.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.305909

>>305896
>idk about that. think about how we live in an industrial world. we're like cats locked in a flat. you know actually unless you sterilize your cat it'll go insane locked in the house. same with dogs for that matter. i think that's what's happening to people. you can't live like this unless you're castrated, but castration isn't an option is it. so yeah for us at least it's just suffering out there

I knew it.

>you can't live like this unless you're castrated, but castration isn't an option is it
It's not an option here because it's "untraditional".

 No.306154

i feel the same way. i hate who i have become. i am truly disgusting

 No.306161

>>306154
I think society is way more disgusting than any of us.

We owe nothing to the world.

 No.306173

>>306161
Fully agree. I may be a worthless jack of shit, but humans are spawns of the Devil. I don't regret not taking part in their grotesque play.

 No.306969

>>305879
>I wish to go back to sleep. Sleep. I just wanna sleep and not take place.
it's so real. I feel that way many times lately. I also feel deeply alone when i wake up in the morning. idk what i have to do to feel better I tried so many things :/


 No.305797[Reply]

I have a degree yet no work or even an internship called me, I have -3$ in my bank account, I tried even to think about relocating to another city to try work there yet no work there called me, And my family is very poor.

I don't even know what to do anymore
12 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306289

>>305797
Do you have any coverage from welfare schemes or unemployment schemes or something, I hope you do, you used the "$" sign so your country is likely developed and I hope that you make it.

 No.306291

>>306282
if robots do everything we will reach levels of efficiency where most things would be free, there’s no need for universal basic income if all necessities are produce at near 0 cost. this is the only hope for humanity, the other option is simply civil war and mass extinction

 No.306292

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>>306282
>>306291
Ironically once we reach that point is when hell on earth is going to start.
Despite what many people think in the modern age, not all is equal and not everyone is some global citizen.

The second we reach that level of automation is the second the forever wars start.
To cull the useless eaters, to keep the people in line that no longer have to worry about the rat race that kept them in trance, to fight with other countries for the resources needed to maintain this "utopia".

Conflict will be the way of life. 1984 style. They are already laying the groundworks for it with the internet lockdowns, IDs for internet use to ensure no freedom of information, major geofencing with the EU trying to make a Chinese firewall (I work at a major ISP and it's been in the works for a while now, pretty much every ISP knows about this), so is the US.
A second aspect is the AI nonsense that flooded the web, further smoke and mirrors in the golden cage.

You wont even know what is really happening. You already don't. I'm scared as fuck. Misery will be the new norm since that is the best way to control people in this post-scarcity world.

 No.306293

>>306292
Well at least i hope with the massive culling things will be peaceful

 No.306968

>>305800
hahah loved that pessimistic acceptance


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 No.296511[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

This is the classic "suicide general", where we discuss methods and say farewell to our fellow wizards, quite different from that other thread in the catalog.

I'm currently 26, almost 27 (rings a bell?). And I can't take it anymore. I will soon depart from life through hanging. I haven't done it yet because I live in a shithole and there are always people around making noise and being nosy. I will just wait till it's very quiet so I can go to the woods and end this miserable existence.

I don't care if it might "get better". Existence itself is a curse and we're all gonna die anyway. I've read enough pessimist books and life affirming books and I side with the former. I don't need your compansion, because the thought that I will soon disappear is the only thing that makes me happy. I'm not even sad because of this.
299 posts and 28 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306961

anyone know alternatives to lostallhope? They used to have that chart of methods, time, pain etc but removed it

 No.306966

>>306961
such waste

 No.306982

>>306957
>food literally is infinite
Food scarcity is a real problem, decades of fertilizers and pesticides combined with intensive farming and antibiotics have degraded the soil and put animals at risk of pandemics, we're one step away from a global food crisis.

 No.306984

>>306961
There is a website called Sanctioned Suicide which I used before I got banned. I must warn you the moderation and some of the userbase is absolute cancer and you will get easily banned if your post is even mildly "objectifying or degrading to succubi" or some other vague left-wing identity politics.

 No.307008

Waiting on me. SUFFERING.


[Last 50 Posts]

 No.306131[Reply]

Never look for psychiatric help, expecially as an addict. It was the worst mistake I ever made in my life. I got addicted to ultra high doses of xanax 8-10x over maximum, and when I tried to get help, instead of tapering me which is what they do in every civilized country, they took me from 30 to 0 in a day. I had stroke symptoms, 60/40 bpm, i was teleporting in real life, i couldnt talk think or know what day it is, function or do anything. I spent 3 days falling on my knees under the doctor's office in the psychiatric hospital and got treated like an annoying fly. I wanted to call an ambulance to take me out of there, i called an ambulance on myself because I thought I had a stroke when I ran away out of my drugs, but nobody ever checked nor was interested in anything. My doctor was an ukrainian piece of shit that treated me like shit under his shoe. After 12 days in psychiatric prison i barely escaped by pretending to get better, and spent 3 weeks in a psychosis despite taking antipsychotics and antiseizure meds, i felt 24/7 heart attack, stroke and epilepsy symptoms. I also lost feeling in my body, i had visual, auditory, time perception problems, became and invalid that couldnt move or pick up a paper, eat, swallow, feeel thirst, pee, lost ability to control my muscles. If i took a bath i would swallow all the water and not feel it, i hit my head on everything and didnt even feel it, i could punch walls and not feel if i broke my bones. When I went to a private psychiatrist to get help, she saw me and said she doesn't deal with this and kicked me out the door after 30 seconds without letting me explain a single thing. I lost my mind, it has been completely destroyed and ruined to the point there's nothing left. After 5 weeks of this treatment and choking on water I thought i'll die anyway so I went back to my drugs and after taking 1 pill I got a better remission and improvement than over a month of their psychiatric treatment. I could actually feel things and i wanted to cry from happiness. But it was all temporary, and in the end i went back to my old habits, but now, they ruined it so that I get every single side effect from the drug that I never had before despite taking the same amount for a year straight. My physical health has also completely collapsed, I was unable to take a bath for a month, shave, eat, think, time moved 100x times slower and I experienced hell on earth worse than being torturted alive with worst cia methods. Now I have nothiPost too long. Click here to view the full text.
3 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306245

>>306132
not even the 2000th worth story if you browse benzo withdrawal forums

That he's still alive to post on the net is a miracle, you don't cold turkey people taking high dose benzos.

 No.306248

>>306245
Completely agreed.
But what do you expect from modern doctors trained in the (((Rockefeller))) model of medicine? They're vicious fucking brainwashed idiots generally without any sympathy for the "patients" they're tasked with seeing.

>My doctor was an ukrainian piece
Are you sure that "ukrainian" doctor wasn't a kike?

Psychiatry in particular is a nasty jewish fraud whose tricks ensnare well-meaning but naive people (ie, they're unfamiliar with the pharmacologic grade of the drugs they use, they're unfamiliar with the consequences both immediate and chronic of these drugs, they don't understand that most psychiatrists are conditioned communistic stewards of the state without any real curative intent in their thoughts, etc.).

>I want to murder people that did this to me but the only person I can kill is myself.

Definitely do not do this. Regain yourself to a calmer state of mind and perceive that this would be a wrong choice.

>My physical health has also completely collapsed, I was unable to take a bath for a month, shave, eat, think, time moved 100x times slower and I experienced hell on earth worse than being torturted alive with worst cia methods.

Are you familiar with akathisia? This is a common sequela for those that taper too quickly off of tranquilizers/anti-anxiety meds like benzodiazepines. It can be bettered with time and nutrition. Do not despair. Your brain may be able to restored to its original healthy condition. I've personally had success with recovering from ssri usage (mostly through time, taking of anti-serotoninergic agents, better diet, exercise). I trust you can have the same.

 No.306250

>>306131
Your too far gone. any solution that we could propose to you will be ridiculous.

 No.306381

I went through Xanax addiction and quitting cold turkey all at once. I think that was 10yrs ago now. It's the worst thing I ever experienced in my life and nothing else even comes close. Hell on earth is the correct description. I experienced most of what you described here, although not everything. I remember the teleporting, the lost memory, the blanks in my memory to where I had no idea what I did or where i had been for entire days at a time. I remember being so scared too scared to move to do anything.

I felt like a tiny mouse in a wide open field with no cover and a hawk flying overhead, knowing it was going to swoop down and devour me. The fear was the worst part, fear I would have a seizure fear I would die, fear that escalated to the extent of being pure biological, neurochemical dread. I lived in a public facility at that time surrounded by criminals. I was too scared to eat or even urinate because I'd have to go to the public shared bathroom. I burned myself severely during that time on the arms intentionally, they're still visible now, 10yrs later. I got through it in the end. It's very dangerous to quit cold turkey though, it can cause permanent brain damage and effects that don't ever go away. Basically the shock to your body is so intense it just breaks you. This is being studied and documented now, after they reviewed several cases of people who even long after physical withdrawal symptoms should have subsided, were still suffering greatly. The worst nightmare is that in some cases even resuming benzodiazepine use did not help them anymore. The damage was already done.

I did experience permanent changes but thankfully nothing so debilitating. I wish I had hope to offer you. But it'd be a lie. All I can say is I sympathize strongly with you, if you're still around.

 No.306936

This horrifies me, I have had chronic pain since birth due to sever sleep apnea since birth (was never checked for it even though I have both asthma and pectus excavatum). I have been tortured every single night since I was a kid with constant choking during sleep (AHI = 70), which has ruined my entire life, literally everything, but the worst is the constant pain. Even pain killers stopped working over time.

Even after sleep apnea treatment at 30 years old (too late), I still have constant pain and the only thing that has helped me so far is benzos, I have taken 1.5 mg bromazolam every night for a year now and pain has been mangeable.

I have tried stopping for a few days but I am then simply unable to sleep for 3 days straight, and the pain comes back just like it was before, no improvement at all, literally torture

I do notice it losing its effectiveness. I would have never tried nenzos at 20, but at 30+ my life is over anyway. I think I will just gradually increase my dose (hopefully only + 0.5 mg every year will be enough).

At some point I will just have to kill myself.


File: 1761503510832.gif (2.67 MB, 498x281, 498:281, 58957495759585.gif) ImgOps iqdb

 No.303736[Reply][Last 50 Posts]

You will still be stuck browsing this thread in 2026 edition

previous>>296811
132 posts and 25 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.306427

>>306153
yeah I've heard about one story about a cop being denied promotion for "being too high iq"
the hierarchy isn't based on merit and they like to shove it in your face

 No.306516

File: 1774247584106.jpg (56.65 KB, 800x442, 400:221, 4uhmbk.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

when you have to hear that coworker who bitches about never having money babble on about the vacation they took

 No.306528

File: 1774348250798.jpg (2.8 MB, 4080x3060, 4:3, 20260324_131722.jpg) ImgOps iqdb

Dishwasher faggot from a few threads back here if anyone remembers me.

I got a job at a sheet metal-powder coating business, so far it's alright but I'm still so disgusted at working full time; it's suicidal inducing to just spend 40 hours a week staring at the decaying walls under the flouresent lights.


The pay's good, and the co-workers are older (youngest is 30) white guys; I just can't help but feel like I'm wasting my life and I have nothing to live for, like being in a waiting room for years or something.


Just a slow grinding decline into madness and bitterness.

Pic rel is a pic I took at work.

 No.306538

>>305095
the music they play alone…

 No.306932

my life exclusively consists of doing some odd jobs then poorneeting for as long as i can. this is pretty soulless to be honest


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